WARNING: delicate subject matter….

“Blind Ambitions”

 “Are you sure this is what you want, Lieutenant?”

 “Doc,” Tom sighed as he sat on the biobed in sickbay, “You asked me three times, I’ve answered the same…three times. Yes…yes this is what I want, now do it!” Tom growled. He had been close to doing something unforgivably stupid last night, and not only would he not have been there for Tay, he would have lost everything, and seeing the wreck that passed for his future self was enough to convince him, temporarily killing his libido was the answer. Of course he wasn’t going to mention this to Tay; the man had enough on his mind, discovering that the latent memory that kept them at bay was blocked on purpose. 

 So, while Tay was with Tuvok, he had made arrangements with Neelix to watch AJ so he could see the Doc privately. He watched as the Doc administer the medication that would do what Tom requested, ‘kill’ his love life, till he could have the one he wanted. The Doc warned him that he would be more sensitive in other areas, and that it was different for each male, so to be weary. 

 “There you go, Lieutenant. Now, remember, if you have any other symptoms besides the one’s we’ve discussed or the sensitive areas are too uncomfortable, come back and we’ll try another method, understand?”

 “Yes, I understand, but you remember, this is between us…not a word…”

 “Mr. Paris, I am a Doctor, not a stool-pigeon. I take patient Doctor Confidence very seriously.” 

 “Good, just checking.” Tom smiled slightly as he got up from the biobed just as the ship shook, but it didn’t feel like it was hit, more internal. The Red alert Klaxon sounded, and though he was on leave, he was to report to the bridge if a Red alert; he took off running, contacting Neelix to stay with AJ. 

 He arrived a minute later as the ship shook again, “What do we have?” he asked as he moved toward the helm, dressed in his civilian clothes, but still ready to do his job. 

 “Nothing, that’s the problem,” Janeway snapped as she was looking at her Operations officer. 

 “No, I’m sure, whatever is causing this is internal, there is ‘nothing’ out there,” Harry replied with conviction. 

 “B’Elanna, what’s going on in engineering?” Janeway asked immediately after getting Harry’s reply as another rattle of the ship occurred. 

 “The same old BS when we get attacked,” she replied as the sounds of a few wires were frying.

 “It’s internal, we’re not being attacked; can you help Harry pinpoint the source of the disturbance?”

 There was a pause as B’Elanna took in the fact that it was coming from inside Voyager rather than outside as all believed from the feel of it. “I’ll see what I can do,” he replied. 

 “Do it, or we’ll be shook a part, I can feel my teeth jarring lose as it is,” Janeway quipped. 

 Since there was no fancy flying needed, Tom remained by the Captain’s chair, in case he would be needed as once again another violent wave rolled through Voyager almost knocking Tom to the ground and the Captain to the floor.  Tom was pushing himself up when he suddenly grabbed his ears and fell to the floor in pain then was out cold. 

***************

 Voices…faces…feelings…voices…places…people…walls…walls…walls…Voices! 

 <Push> <No>

 Fear…anger…loneliness…fear…pain…love…hate…acceptance…anger…hate…fear!

 <Push> <NO!>

 ****Burry him****

 <Push> <Mustn’t> 

 ****What are you doing here?****

 <Push> <No, you mustn’t!>

 <Must> <No>

 Voices… fear… faces… anger… people… loneliness… walls… hate… walls… acceptance…places…fear…hope…places…confusion…faces…love. 

 <Push…open> <no…no…pain>

 <Must open> <pain…no…no…>

 <Push…force…my will is stronger…open!> 

 <PAIN…stop…no, must not open…stop….no…must…yes, must open…push…yes open>

 ****What are you doing here Cadet****

 <Wall…huge…thick>

 <Push> 

 <PAIN…PAIN…FALLING…HELP…HELP ME…>

 “TOM!!!!” ….darkness. 

************

 “Are you telling me, that my ship was almost shaken into scrap by…by Commander Paris?” Janeway asked in disbelief as she stood in sickbay, where her First Officer, Chief Helmsman and Tactical officer were all currently laying, two out of three out cold, as the last one wished he was, though being Vulcan would never admit it. 

 “That is correct, it would seem the Commander’s talents are much strong than any of us have surmised, for it is not an ability that we are able to measure properly,” Tuvok stated from his biobed.

 “So, let me get this clear, you and the Commander decided to ‘open’ this block, deciding that the only way was to…push through it, no matter what, am I correct on this?” she inquired, trying to keep her temper in check.

 “That is correct, Captain.” 

 “Tell me, did you know this was going to occur?” she asked, gesturing to the dim lights and the minor wounded that were being taken care of, and two unconscious senior officers. 

 “No, Captain. Though we both believed there would be some risk, we both believed it would remain…between us. Neither of us were aware that our actions were affecting the ship, much less include Mr. Paris in his husbands condition. You have my apology, Captain, for had I known, I would not have…”

 “I know, I know. So, what can you tell me about this…block?”

 “Nothing, I am still bound by patient confidentiality. We both will have to see what occurs when the Commander awakens,” Tuvok replied, gently shifting, easing the pressure of his own broken ribs. 

 Janeway simply gave her old friend a rest well look then walked over to Tom and Chakotay, both unconscious, in some form of forced coma, the EMH unsure what he can or should do, for this was truly a unique situation. There was nothing she could do here, and her ship was damaged, //Damn Chakotay, I knew you had a powerful mind, but did you have to prove it?// she thought with some jest, hoping to keep here spirits high, for her worries were many; “I hope that what ever is going through you head, you get to the bottom of it,” she whispered before exiting, to oversee the repairs. 

**********

 The place was beautiful, more magnificent that he had imagined, even seeing the recruitment pictures. Tall buildings with lot’s of trees and grass to nestle them warmly, and the sky was blue and clear, not at all what he was told by his Father. No, Starfleet academy was the most beautiful place he had ever seen, and he was going to be attending here, one of the few to be accepted in the new training year, but even fewer among his age…fifteen. It was a proven statistic that only point eight three percent of new cadets were under the age of eighteen, and of that tiny percentage, less than point one seven percent were his age. This meant that it was nothing but a sheer miracle or he was a little genius, either way, he had passed his entrance examines and all the tests, even those he didn’t know were test…one of Starfleet’s ways of filtering out cadets were to set them up, and he had made it…him, Chakotay of Dorvan V, a backwards planet had made it. As of this moment he was a Starfleet Cadet! 

 He moved across the well kept grounds, noticing the roses and the gardener in the distance. The older man looked kind and had what his father would call ‘wise’ eyes, and was the only one to bid him a hello. 

 He followed the instructions on his pad to the hall and the room that was to be his till he graduated in four years if all went as planned. The tiny room looked positively barren, and the poor excuse of a window let in very little light, but that was compared to living in the outdoors most of his life. He settled his bags down and turned to at the sound of voices, and saw two older cadets, in their uniforms walk by, he smiled and was going to greet them, but their words reached his ears first. 

 “Sheesh, since when did they start letting in babies,” the taller of the two boys asked of his friend, the one speaking being eighteen or nineteen years of age, the other about the same. 

 “I don’t know, but did you see his clothes?” the other one replied as they kept on walking, “I guess he used all he had for passage from whatever backwater planet he came from.” 

 That was how it started and that was how it stayed, he was not truly welcomed, not by his so called peers, for to them he was a backwater kid, that the officials only ‘felt sorry for’ and that was the only reason he got in. By the second week, he had no friends, no confidence, and was ready to pack it in, but instead of going to the administrator and resigning, going home with his tail between his legs, he decided to take a walk, get away from the dorm, even though he didn’t know what he would find. 

 His feet led him to one of the training halls, Flight school, and a young Chakotay found himself taken by the sheer beauty, not of the building but the activity. He had flown in a few shuttles, mostly just getting here, and a few others, but seeing them take off and land, seeing them maneuver around obstacles, filled his head with dreams that perhaps one day…

 “What are you doing here, Cadet?” 

 Chakotay whirled around and seeing it was an officer…anyone older than him fit that bill, he stood erect, “Just observing, sir,” he replied properly, not really seeing the man before him. 

 “Your name, Cadet?” 

 “Chakotay, Cadet first class Chakotay, sir.” 

 “First class? How long have you been here, boy?” the man asked, though his tone was more disbelieving than condescending. 

 “Two weeks, sir,” Chakotay replied, this time daring to look up, and saw the man talking to him was a Captain. He stood tall with thick wavy black hair, with rich dark eyes that twinkled with life, and chiseled features that would classify him as handsome in most people’s eyes. 

 “Are you telling me, true, Cadet?” the Captain questioned. 

 “It is the rank and title I was told to give if asked, sir.” 

 The Captain’s dark eyes narrowed, and moved to a computer and accessed the personnel files, and stood there a moment looking at them, than back at Chakotay. Then he closed the files, “Well, Cadet First Class Chakotay, it seems you’ve made quite an impression getting in here,” he smiled, his suspicions gone. 

 “Ah, thank you, sir.” 

 “It’s Saturday, why are here and not out with you classmates?” The older man asked easily, and saw the shifting down of the eyes before him; “Oh…” he said as he understood, “they’re not giving you a chance. Probably jealous as hell, since most of them had to try two and three times to get in here,” the Captain stated warmly. “Well, their loss is my gain,” he smiled. “Captain Aaron Drake, current flight instructor here at the flight training hall.” 

 “Sir,” Chakotay said, giving a slight nod in greeting. “I meant no harm; I didn’t see any signs stating that I would be trespassing…”

 “Relax Cadet, you are not trespassing. It is that on weekends there are only two kinds of people that hang around here, those who have too and those who want too. I was just trying to figure out which one you were,” he smiled easily, placing the young man at ease. “You fly?” 

 “No, sir,” Chakotay replied honestly, though his eyes wondered to the window filling with wishful thinking. 

 “Want to?” 

 Chakotay turned to Captain Drake, his eyes expressing his heart, though he only replied, “Yes…yes, sir, I would like that.” 

 “Well, technically your suppose to wait till next year, but what I do on my time is my business, and we have plenty of other members training ‘protégés’ as it were,” he joked, and then saw how serious, though ecstatic the young man was. “Lighten up, Cadet…that’s an order,” he smiled as he led Chakotay into the flight training facility…to open a whole new world for him. 

**********

 Friends…he had friends, and he was learning to fly, and his grades couldn’t be better, life was great! Captain Drake…Aaron off campus, had a select following of young protégés, ten in all, and they now considered him one of them. They hanged out together, worked together, flew together, and partied together…life was great. 

 Captain Drake had two squadrons, the Dragons Wing, the one that only Juniors and Senior’s could join, and the Serpents Tail, where only ambitious Freshmen and Sophomore could join, if found worthy by Captain Drake, for it was a non-official squadron, but still well known, and it’s members known to move on to the elite of flyers. They had their own jackets that they wore off duty, their own way of dealing with every aspect of the academy, geared for their success by their mentor, Captain Drake, and Chakotay felt honored, privileged to be a part of them, and only after two weeks from meeting Drake at the facility. 

 It was Saturday again and he ‘just’ got his ‘jacket’ black leather with a red Serpent dragon, with a huge tail, coiled up and around the Starfleet symbol, and his name on the front, showing the world that it was his, and Serpents Tail etched in gold underneath the dragon in back. He placed it on, feeling accepted, wanted at that he belonged…for the first time he belonged. 

 He stepped out of his room, his jacket in his hand as he closed and locked his door and saw Taggert and Ronnie, his current tormentors heading his way. 

 “Hey, native boy, going to do a rain dance, the flowers need watering,” Ronnie called out, Taggert laughing on cue. 

 Chakotay ignored them as he slipped on his armor, his new jacket, and took a deep breath, going to walk by them as if they were shadows. 

 “What the hell!” Taggert called at, pointing to the jacket. 

 Chakotay turned to see that the older boy looked scared and couldn’t understand why, and arched a brow, similar to one of his Vulcan instructors. “What’s wrong, now?” he growled. 

 Ronnie stopped in his tracks and took the young man before him in and stared at the jacket, “Ah…gee, Chakotay, you know…we were just…kidding you…you know, riding the new cadet, nothing personal, right?” 

 “Sure…right,” Chakotay replied, and started to leave, “Bug off,” he stated and ignored the two boys. He was late in meeting up with the group, today they were going for a tour of San Francisco, ‘Aaron’ was going to be their guide and he didn’t want to miss it. 

 He met his new friends, Sharon, Tyler, Alec, Maurice the leader of the Squadron, and Aaron at the malt shop, and though he was five minutes late he apologized, but no one took it as a big deal and had a great day! Aaron showed them Alcatraz park, the old Oak bridge and the official landing site where Admiral Kirk landed the bird of Prey, just under the Golden gate bridge, and saved Earth from it’s folly. Symbolically, a whale’s tale was spotted in that very location and Aaron said it was a good omen, most of them laughed, but Chakotay, he felt it was too. 

 By evening they were all gathered at Aaron’s place where the Dragon Wing Squadron also joined them, and the discussions were all over the place, but flying was one of the main constant topics. As the hour grew late, many of the young men and women were grouped together, pairing off, it seemed that many of them were dating, or invited boyfriends or girlfriends, Chakotay not wanting to leave, slipped out to the balcony, so the other’s could have their time alone. //Rule number one, what goes on in here stays in here,// he recalled as he sipped his water, looking over the skyline and the ocean in the distance. A lot of regulations were being ‘bent’ but…it couldn’t be all that bad, the Dragon Wing and the Serpents Tail were among the best, that had to mean something. 

 “What are you doing here, Cadet?” a deep familiar voice asked warmly, almost teasingly. 

 Chakotay turned to see Aaron, still looking very fine for a man twice his age, dressed in dark blue jeans and a tight dark blue pocket T-shirt, and a wearing his killer smile.  Chakotay gave a mock salute, “Reporting for duty…*giggle*…sir,” he laughed. 

 “Duty is it now?” Aaron chuckled as he came and leaned against the balcony along side Chakotay, “I never thought of having a good time, duty…unless you’re not having a good time?” 

 “I am…really I am,” Chakotay replied, he didn’t want this man who saved him from his personal disgrace of quitting and brought so much to his life to think otherwise.  

 “Then why are you out here all by yourself?” Aaron asked, though his eyes were looking outward, Chakotay could feel his scrutiny. 

 “I…ah…well, that is…they’re couples, and I wanted to give them their privacy,” he replied uneasily, even thought it was the truth or part of it. 

 “Hmm,” Aaron replied non-judgmental, “I noticed a few that wouldn’t mind ‘coupling’ with you,” he stated as he sipped his beer, still looking out over the skyline. 

 “Ah…well…I…ah…” he stuttered as he face flushed. 

 “Its okay, Cha. Many young people your age are shy,” Aaron stated and turns a warm understanding smile in his direction. “In fact, a good deal of those inside were like you at first, but…they were able to relax and be themselves.” 

 “I…I don’t think that will happen anytime soon,” he smiled softly, feeling not only off balance, but uneasy, his feelings all jumbled up at the present moment. 

 “Well, if you like, I could help,” Aaron offered his dark eyes warm and inviting. 

 “How?” Chakotay asked eagerly. 

 “I know a few relax techniques that seem to do wonders, if you want I can show you?” 

 Chakotay flushed, he wanted to relax but he was a bundle of nerves, “Ah…that sounds…like a good idea. Ah, when?” 

 Aaron laughed, “Perhaps now, for if you get any more uptight you’ll pop,” he chuckles. “Here,” he said, offering his hand, his beer in his other hand. 

 Still feeling nervous, Chakotay placed down his water and took Aaron’s hand, feeling a tingle up his arm and a shy smile cross his face. He caught his reflection in the sliding door, he looked so awkward, long limbs, scrawny build, big eared, and his mother’s words [you’ll grow into your body soon enough] rang back as he wished it was now; for compared to the man next to him, he was a weed next to a tall Elm. He shifted his gaze away and followed the man he admired and looked up too into his private room. 

 “Have a seat on the floor,” Aaron stated as he closed the door, leaving the two of them alone in his bed room. Aaron then lit a few candles and some fragrance and then sat on the edge of the bed, “Come here,” he stated, gesturing for Chakotay to sit between his knees, his back to the bed. 

 Chakotay leaned back against the bed and felt the warmth off Aaron’s legs and then the gentle touched of his strong delicate hands on his temples. “Close your eyes and relax, Cha. Just listen to my voice and all will be well, just relax and trust me, Cha, I won’t let anything happen to you, just relax, open  your mind to my voice,” he said in a soft serene voice as his fingers pressed gently and ever so lightly against his head. 

 Chakotay felt a tingling sensation in his temples and gave a small smile, then heard Aaron’s voice once more. “You want to be open, don’t you Cha? Open yourself to me, Cha. Give of yourself freely and I will help you fly to the stars not only in body but soul,” he said, his voice sounding soft and inches from his ear. 

 Chakotay’s body felt warm all over and he felt safe and relaxed, still listening to Aaron’s voice. “I sense the craving you have…need, don’t deny it…embrace it, embrace me. I will be your guide, your teacher, Cha, let me free you? Let me show you the power you possess over others…be mine and all this will be yours.” 

 His breathing was full, his body soared, and all Aaron’s word rang true, he did have desires that he denied, he did want all that Aaron was offering him and all he had to do was accept…accept Aaron…be his. “yes,” he whispered softly, his face on the verge of ecstasy for he felt like he was flying. 

 “Yes, what?”

 “Yes, I’ll be yours,” he replied willingly. 

 “Then from this moment on, you are mine…mine to do what I please with and you will do my bidding and in return I will give you all that I have promised and more, my beautiful Cha,” Aaron whispered, his voice sounding more and more inside his head then simply by his ear. 

 //Beautiful…me?//

 //Yes, Cha, you are beautiful, and like a caterpillar, soon you will cocoon and emerge a magnificent butterfly…my butterfly…mine.//

 //Yours.// Before he knew it, he was soaring as he was being touched in ways he had never been touched before and he wanted it, he wanted all this man had to offer him…for he belonged to him, he was Aaron’s from this moment on; he would never be alone again. 

************
 
 Over the next year and a half, Chakotay did just as Aaron had said, he blossomed into a man. He was the top of his flight class, top of most other classes and he had a boyfriend…well an old man, for Aaron was too old to be called a boy. For Chakotay life was great, even if he couldn’t tell anyone about his relationship with Aaron out side of the Squadron, they all knew; it was common knowledge that Aaron helped them too and from time to time wanted their companionship in exchange, but Chakotay knew he was different, he was special. 

 It was toward the end of his sophomore year, and Aaron who now always took him with him to all the fancy parties, with some of the other Squadron members, was taking him to the Gala ball. Sadly it couldn’t be a real date, those only happened on weekends and out of town, but Chakotay was anything he was patient and happy. 

 He dressed in his best uniform and made sure he looked just the way Aaron said showed off his ‘best’ features and met up with the other members, most of them the same from the last year, only one new member, but they were not present tonight. The party was a spectacle array of people from all over, and once Aaron properly recognized him and his team, he kept Chakotay by his side all night. He was introduced to several high ranking officers, and diplomats, including Sarak of Vulcan, who Aaron seemed not to care for, but kept a good face, as his position called for. Then he met Ambassador Salon from Badora, one of the new planets seeking membership into the Federation. He was tall, lean, with long auburn hair and deep rich green eyes that sparkled like gems, with full lips that melted into a beautiful smile, or so Chakotay thought when they first met. It was difficult, but he maintained some calm, and was glad that Aaron bid him to fetch some punch for all of them. He made his way to the punch bowl, knowing that the real reason was that Aaron wanted to talk, for there were plenty of waiters with drinks about, and gathered up several glasses. 

 In the distance he saw other team members and it suddenly dawned on him, that each were not only socializing with one another, they were not even mingling with those close to their age; they were all paired up with a high ranking individual, tending to their every word just like he did with Aaron. He pushed the thought aside, for it must be coincidence, he told himself and finished getting the punch and returned to Aaron’s side. 

 “Captain Drake tells me you are quite the prize,” Ambassador Salon states, giving a very inviting smile, causing Chakotay to blush slightly. 

 “Captain Drake is being kind, sir,” he replies softly. 

 “See what I mean, looks like steel on the outside, but soft and gentle in the inside, a wonderful combination, don’t you think?” Aaron asks of the Ambassador. 

 Chakotay feeling self-conscious simply turns his attention away, sipping his punch and sees Tyler leaving with one of the Admirals and though it was subtle Chakotay could tell…they were leaving together. This shocked him, and his thoughts about the others returned, but then it made sense, for after being with Aaron, how could a mere boy or girl be satisfying. Of course they would seek out someone older, who could give them what someone their own age could not. Then Chakotay was startled by the touch, it was the Ambassador, his hand gently…barely touching his cheek. He took a half step back, he wasn’t expecting this. 

 “I told you he was shy,” Aaron replied teasingly, but Chakotay picked up on the slight irritation, he had embarrassed him some how. 

 “I’m sorry, Ambassador, you startled me,” he stated to cover his reaction. 

 “Nothing to apologize for, young one,” he replied warmly, his bright eyes all a firer. Then he looked at Aaron, “Yes, I think I will take you up on your offer,” he stated, and then with one last look at Chakotay he left to speak with others. 

 Chakotay felt a bit relieved for though he found him attractive, this night was proving too weird for his taste. “I don’t wish to be a bother, but are we leaving soon?” he asked softly. 

 “Actually we are leaving now, I need to discuss something with you,” Aaron stated in a hushed voice, and then led Chakotay out of the hall. 

 “I’m sorry, Aaron if I embarrassed you, but he did startle me…”

 “Don’t worry about it, Cha. All is still well. In fact, there is a way you can make it up to me though if you feel bad about it?” Aaron replied as he led Chakotay to his hover car. 

 “Of course, what?” 

 “Get in the car, we’ll talk more there,” Aaron stated and got in on his side and then waited till Chakotay was inside too. He started to vehicle and started to drive away from the Gala hall. “Tell me something, and be honest with me, Cha. Did you find Ambassador Salon…attractive…at all?” 

 Chakotay felt guilty, “Well…a little,” he admitted for he didn’t want to make Aaron feel bad, but he didn’t want to lie either. 

 “Well, I happen to know he finds you ‘very’ attractive,” Aaron states as he pulls into an empty park and stops the car. He then turns to face Chakotay, “In fact, he finds you very, very attractive,” Aaron smiles, his eyes dancing, but not with lust, something else that Chakotay can not make out. 

 “Ah, well, I guess that’s nice…” he started to say.

 “I want you to bed him,” Aaron stated flatly. 

 Chakotay’s eyes grow wide, “What?” 

 “You heard me, Cha. Remember, you gave yourself to me, to do with as I want and I want this. I want you to bed the Ambassador…tonight.” 

 Chakotay stared, he was stunned. He could not believe Aaron was asking…no, telling him, he had to be with another man. “I…I don’t think…” 

 Aaron smiled, and reached out and caressed Chakotay’s face, “It’ll be good, I promise,” he purred as he leaned in and kissed Chakotay’s lips, his fingers rubbing along side his temples. 

 Once more Chakotay felt his body burn, and his craving unsatisfied, he ached, and the more he thought about it, the more he did desire to know the Ambassador in the cardinal sense. Plus, it would make Aaron happy, and that was what he wanted, to do everything he could to make Aaron happy. 

 “Do this for me?” 

 “Yes,” Chakotay breathed out, once the kiss was broken. 

 “Good,” Aaron said as he turned and started the car again, “I’ll take you,” he stated easily and they drove off. 

 They arrived at the hotel where the Ambassador would be waiting, and Aaron gave Chakotay one more mind tingling kiss before telling him which room to go too and to have a good time and that he would see him later…03:00 at the back entrance way, then drove off. 

 Feeling more confident than he started off with, he turned and easily made his way to the Ambassador’s suite, where he was warmly welcomed by the attractive man, who was obviously waiting for him. 

 There was wine, music, candlelight, silk sheets… 

 His voice crying out to be touched, for Salon not to stop what he was doing as they both reached ecstasy together, and then there was the silent aftermath, and Chakotay washed up in the bathroom and gathered his clothes and dressed in the living room and then started to exit only to run smack into Sarak of Vulcan and Admiral Owen Paris. 

 “What are you doing here Cadet!” Admiral Paris demanded. 

 “I…I was….” Chakotay suddenly felt very afraid and couldn’t speak. 

 “Get in here,” Admiral Paris growled as he grabbed Chakotay by the arm and pulled him back into the room with him. “Salon, get out here, we need to talk!” he hissed, his temper showing in his eyes. 

 “Did I not see you at the party?” Sarak inquired, “With Captain Aaron?” 

 Chakotay was suddenly so frighten that he couldn’t move; only stared at the two older men. 

 “Salon!” Owen shouted, this time marching himself in the bedroom, only to stop dead in his tracks, “Holy Shit! You murdering little fuck!” Owen growled and suddenly turned and launched at Chakotay, who was too paralyzed to do anything to stop it. 

 Sarak pulled Owen aside with ease and placed him into a chair, then looked at Chakotay, a puzzled expression on his face. He moved to the doorway, then back at the frighten Cadet, “Did you kill him?” 

 Tears started rolling down his face, as words started coming out of his mouth, “I…I didn’t meant too…” he cried. 

 “Do you have any idea what you’ve done you…little perverted punk?” Owen growled. “You won’t see the light of day till your hundred and fifty and that’s only if you make parole!” 

 “Admiral Paris, I do believe there is more here than meets the eyes,” Sarak states as he approaches Chakotay and kneels down to where Chakotay had not dared to move from the floor, and looks deep into his eyes. “Where is the weapon?”

 “What….what weapon?” Chakotay stuttered, puzzled. 

 Sarak nodded, like he expected this response. “I am sorry, but it is a must,” he stated, then reached up and placed his fingers on Chakotay’s face and closed his eyes. 

 The next thing Chakotay knew he was still on the floor, lying down and he heard voices…

 “You’re telling me, that Captain Aaron Drake is behind this? How in heaven’s name is that possible?”

 “For one, he is not human or fully human to possess such mental skills to manipulate the boy as he has done. I could see it in the weaving of the plan, he used a blank spot, to cover up the boys actions, for he is no murder, and to make one do what is against one’s will takes much…months of preparation and manipulation of the mind. I have seen this; he has used the boy and others to do his bidding.”

 “Crying out loud! A filthy traitor, child molester, pimp, and murder, and using our cadets to do his dirty work!” 

 “That would seem to be the case. I had to initiate the meld when I did for he planted a back up in the boys mind, he would go blank then kill himself, preventing us from knowing the truth. I was however able to determine that Aaron Drake will be in the back entrance in ten minutes.”

 “I’ll have security deal with him. This entire mess can’t get out; it would ruin Starfleet if they knew what happened here.” 

 “I would agree. This situation needs to be contained.”

 “I’ll take care of Drake and gather up the rest of his little whores.” 

 “That is an inappropriate judgment, due to the fact that they too may have been manipulated as the boy here.” 

 “I don’t care, there is too much at stake. I want this mattered buried and buried deep.” 
 
 “What do we do with him, he’s just a minor?” 

 “Bury him. We don’t need his kind here.”  

 “We can not, he is the son of a high raking member of his world, we can not simply…bury him, and I am sure you understand this.” 

 “Very well, Sarak, you handle it, but I want this mess handled and put to bed once and for all. If word of this got out, it would be the end of Starfleet as we know it.”

 “I would agree, Admiral Pairs, I would agree. Then I ask that you let me take charge of the boy and the other’s that Drake may have altered. I will block all this out of their minds…” 

 “Well, if you’re going to do that, you might as well cure him of his perversion, probably put there by Drake too.” 

 “I can not…’Cure’…one’s nature, however, if it is possible, I will bury it, for it could lead to recollection in the future.”

 “It better not. I don’t think Starfleet can handle another scandal, much less the can of worms this would produce. Shit…whoring our own Cadets…turning them into assassins…what the hell else did that bastard do?” 

 “I do not know nor will we if we do not act now, time is running out,” Sarak stated easily, then watched as Owen nodded and got on his com badge to set things into motion. 

 Chakotay saw the older Vulcan approach him, “No…no don’t touch me…please stop, don’t come near me,” he pleaded, somehow fearing him. 

 “I am sorry, but I must, it is for your own good that you do not know your part in this tragic play, young man. I saw many things in you…you are a good person, Chakotay. To remain so and have the destiny you were born to have, I must take this darkness away,” he stated, a bit more emotional than a Vulcan usual sounded, then with a strong grip, took Chakotay once more…

 “Get away from me!” 

 “Commander, Commander Paris, can you hear me?” 

 “No, get out of my head!” 

 “Commander!” *slap*

 Chakotay opened his eyes; he couldn’t see but could smell that he was in sickbay…Voyager. His breathing was erratic, but he was on Voyager…he was safe…but only if… “Tom?”

 “Commander, Lieutenant Paris is…”

 “Tay…” a weak voice replied from a distance. 

 “Hmm,” the EMH stated. 

 Chakotay reached out, he needed to feel Tom’s hand he needed to know the horrible dream was over. “Tom…?”

 “Lieutenant, you need to be in bed!” The EMH exclaimed. 

 “I’m here, Tay,” Tom replied, taking his love’s hand, and then reached in and hugged him.

 Tom saw how upset Chakotay was, and held him tighter, “I’m here, its over, Tay. You’re safe, no one is going to hurt you, I promise, your safe with me.” 

 “It…it was horrible…I was…I…” he couldn’t put words to it. He couldn’t tell Tom that he allowed himself to be used…to…

 “I know, Tay, I know,” Tom whispered, his own tears falling as was his love’s. 

 “No, no you can’t…”

 “I was there, Tay, I was with you, I don’t know how, but I was there…I know…” Tom said as he caressed his love’s face, wiping tears away. 

 “You…you know?” he asked, his voice cracking, sounding childlike. 

 Tom saw the guilt, the self reproach building in his love’s eyes, and he knew what Chakotay was going to do, what he would do, so he knew how to stop it. “NO…you hear me, Tay. I was there. I was there and saw…how from the beginning he manipulated you mind; he used your trust…your heart. You didn’t do anything wrong…he violated ‘your’ trust. You were a victim…” 

 “No…no I let him do it!” Chakotay replied, pushing Tom away as he turned to his side, rolling into himself. 

 “Tay…you wanted to be loved, to be accepted, he used that against you. He was the adult in the situation, not you. All your guilty of is having a good and trusting heart, and please…please, baby, don’t find fault in what I love most about you.” 

 “How can you still…after…” his voice small. 

 “After what…exploring your body, your limits…trusting someone who took half truths and bent them to his will; you did ‘nothing’ wrong. Even Sarak said he had to blind you to what he forced your body to do…that you were a good person and that was why he tried to save you. Now…let me…let me save you, Tay. I couldn’t stand to live another day without you…please…don’t push me away?” 

 Tom could see the heavy soul wrenching sobs shake Chakotay’s body, and easily rolled him over to hold him in his arms. //To imagine he went through this alone,// Tom thought as he recalled his other self stating he was cut out. Tom knew this would not be something to go away over night, Chakotay took his actions seriously, and to be used like this…so young. //Now I know where the hurt came from,// he thought. //And now I can help heal him,// he vowed. 

 “Lieutenant, can you explain what is going on?” the EMH inquired, not coming to close, giving the men their privacy. 

 “Healing, Doctor, healing.” 

TBC in Faithless