Title: Just Jump Him
Rating: PG-13 (For "mature" situations)
Disclaimer: Voyager and her intrepid crew are the intellectual property of 
Paramount and Viacom.  I own the story ideas and some really snazzy stuffed animals.
Distribution: My site, Cha_club (Any one else?  Ask, so I can come visit!)
Spoilers: Season Four, up to Killing Game II
Summary: Seven gets tired of the UST, and plots to get Chakotay and Tom together
Notes: This is in *no* way related to anything else I have ever written.  For one  thing it's an actual C/P... I've never actually written one of those, wacky!  For  another? I've created my own universe (again), but this one splits off earlier than  Welcomes did.

Universe: Okay, everything that happened on the show has happened here... except for  a few MAJOR things.  1) B'Elanna and Tom have never gotten together, their little  experience tethered together in "Day of Honor" just cemented their friendship.  So,  because Tom didn't have a girlfriend, he was able to spend more time with Seven, thus  she was integrated with the crew faster than she was on the show.  2) Harry Kim  *never* tried to put the moves on Seven.

Thoughts of the characters are contained between the double forward slashes (//).

PADD chats are noted by the {}.

Dedicated to: Leone, 'cause she sat through me writing this in bits and 
pieces over a few days in January 2001.


Seven glared at the man sitting across from her. "You should just copulate with him, and get it over with."

Tom Paris spat out the food he had just put into his mouth and stared at her. "What?"

"Commander Chakotay. You should, 'jump his bones' and stop just thinking about it."

"I'm not..."

Seven interrupted him, but put a hand on his forearm to soften the blow of her statement. "Thomas, you are so *not* attentive to what we've been talking about since the Commander walked in the door, you didn't even really notice when I told you that I planned on contacting the Borg and turning Voyager over to them. You nodded and said, 'Sounds like a good plan, Seven. Let me know if you need any help with that'."

"I did not."

"Yes, Thomas, you did. So as I stated earlier, copulate with him and get it over with. I want my friend back."

Tom looked over at Seven, complete sorrow in his face. "Have I really been *that* inattentive?"

"Only when a certain tall, dark, and tattooed First Officer is in the room."

"You do realize that I'm a bad influence on you, don't you?"

"You wouldn't have it any other way, Thomas."

Tom smiled at his friend and shook his head. //Hard to believe that the formerly cold and blunt Borgette would be encouraging me in my love life. Hell, she's got more humanity than most people realize.// "You're a real piece of work, do you know that?"

"Of course I do, Thomas. You feel the urge to tell me every single day."

"He tells you *what* every single day, Seven?"

Seven turned to look at the new person and gestured for them to sit at the table. "That I'm a piece of work, B'Elanna. He seems to think that it's a new discovery."

B'Elanna Torres snorted and put her tray on the table. She sat down across from Seven and raised an eyebrow at Tom. "Tom Paris was *thinking*! Someone call the News Service and post a bulletin!"

"Ha, ha, B'Elanna. You're a real crack up."

"I like to think so, Flyboy. So, what's on the agenda for everyone today?"

"Harry and I have some sims to run for that new shuttle craft we're working on, and I think Doc wants me to spend a half-shift in Sickbay. What about my two favorite ladies?"

"We're in the middle of a computer overhaul down in Engineering. Remind me to *kill* Seska next time I run that holonovel of Tuvok's, okay?"

"But would that not put you on the side of the 'Fleet crew immediately, B'Elanna?"

B'Elanna turned to look at Seven. "So? I'd still get the satisfaction of killing her, wouldn't I?"

"Only in that holodeck, 'it's so unfulfilling way, but *damn* it was nice to work out my frustrations' kind of way."

"Exactly. So why wouldn't I want to kill her?"

Seven stared directly into her friend's eyes and said, "Because it would be against regulation and you might lose holodeck privileges."

B'Elanna cocked her head sideways and smirked at her friend. "There is that. But I think it's worth the risk. What do you think Tom?"

Tom blinked at being brought back into the conversation, as he had been silent since telling the others what his plans for the day were. "I think I'm going to stay quiet about killing Seska, hologram or not. I need to report to the cargo bay before the staff meeting; something about checking the newest shipments." He stood up and kissed both women on the cheek, lingering near Seven for a moment. "I'll take your advice under consideration, Seven."

"That's all I ask, my friend."

Tom tapped her nose once and then he walked out of the Mess Hall. Seven turned back to face an amused B'Elanna, and raised her eyebrow in question. B'Elanna shook her head and finished eating her breakfast.


Seven watched the Commander as her friend walked into the conference room for the day's staff meeting. If she'd been more in touch with her human emotions she would have smirked at the deer in headlights look that briefly crossed the normally stoic commander's face. She leaned closer to him and said, "I think you should get your teeth checked, Commander."

Chakotay ripped his gaze away from the blond Helmsman and looked at the blond next to him. "What?"

"You have *got* to have a toothache. I cannot explain your reactions any other way." She paused for a moment and let her gaze drift over to her friend, then turned back to the ship's first officer. "Unless you are experiencing sexual attraction, that might explain it."

Chakotay just blinked at the sudden change in topics and glanced around to make sure no one could hear the blunt woman's statements. "What are you talking about, Seven?"

Seven shrugged elegantly and raised an eyebrow at the man sitting next to her. "You are sexually attracted to Thomas. I cannot believe I did not notice the signs before. I suggest copulation as a means of solving the problem." She turned her attention to the PADD in her hand, not letting Chakotay respond to her statements.

On the other side of the table, B'Elanna noticed that Seven had activated their highly experimental, and highly amusing PADD connection program. //We've passed more staff meetings this way the last few weeks than I want to think about. Thank the Gods that the Captain and Commander Tuvok aren't that suspicious of the two of us constantly making "notes" during these things, or we'd be in major trouble for not paying attention. Now, what did she want to say to me?// She opened up the "chat window" and nearly started to laugh at what Seven had written her. Then she immediately responded, asking for Seven to give the normal signal if she'd received the message.

Seven itched her nose in response to B'Elanna's request, and she noticed that her friend obviously had to fight her natural reaction to this situation. She read the rest of the message. {Copy that, Good Buddy. I agree that the pair of us should plot to get the pair of them together. Although, it's a real damn shame when the two most attractive men on board the ship take each other 'out of rotation'.}

Seven responded immediately. {Ten-four, Lieutenant. Keep the line open during the meeting. I've got a feeling this one will be a doozy.}


Tom sat across from Seven in Sandrine's. //Been awhile since we had this program up and running. I wonder what possessed her to want to have *this* place open tonight? I should probably be worried, especially because of the way she is dressed.// He smiled as he pictured the way the other members of the crew had reacted to her outfit as they had left his quarters to the turbolift.

His eye flicked back to her face. //She is *so* enjoying the attention, she's just not letting people know she is.// He let his gaze wander down her body, taking in the tight, long sleeved shirt and form fitting pants. His gaze wandered to the door as it opened, and he stopped dead at the sight.

Seven turned her attention to the door and had to smirk at the pair that walked in. //She did it! I knew she was planning on doing it, but oh my! She never told me he was *that* attractive under his uniform. I'm going to have to discuss the 'information sharing is vital to plotting' topic again with her.// Seven stood up and walked across the bar, knowing lots of gazes were watching her hips sway in their skin tight leather pants.

B'Elanna grabbed Seven's hands, and they kissed each other's cheeks. "It's good to see you, mon ami. I would like to introduce you to my escort, Chakotay of Dorvan IV."

"Bonjour, Chakotay. He is très beau, non?"

"Oui, Sept. Shall we join your escort for the night?"

"Oui, Ensuite vous," Seven said with a broad sweep of her arm. She and B'Elanna followed the Commander back to the table she had been sitting at with Tom. The pair of women had to fight their urges to laugh when Tom finally noticed that the trio was heading his way. Seven sat next to her friend and signaled to Sandrine.

The French Hologram came to their table with the prearranged drinks and placed them in front of each person. "Tòmas, are you well?"

Tom blinked at the question and smiled at the likeness of one of his oldest friends. "I'm fine, Sandrine. How are you?"

"I am thinking you need to get that enchanting doctor friend of yours to see me soon. I am in need of a 'physical'." With a wink she floated away and went back to tending to her establishment.

"You will have to introduce me to the *real* Sandrine someday, Thomas."

Tom grabbed Seven's hand and kissed it. "I would be honored, Seven." He cocked his head at the song playing and turned a mischievous smile on his friend. "I do believe they are playing our song."

"Yes, I do believe they are." She accepted his hand and they went out onto the dance floor.

B'Elanna smirked at the nearly devastated look on Chakotay's face. //Score two points for Seven! Letting Chakotay see what he is missing. Not that she's not doing the same thing to Tom. It's a good thing she's on *their* side.// She placed a hand on her friend's arm. "They're just friends, you know."

"What?" Chakotay turned his attention back to the woman beside him.

"Seven and Tom. She's got her eye on someone else, and Tom agreed to make him jealous tonight. And no, I don't know who it is, she won't tell me either." B'Elanna stuck her lower lip out and pouted at the thought.

Chakotay started laughing at the picture B'Elanna made. "It won't work, B'Elanna."

"What won't work?"

"The pouting to get your way. It never does."

"It has so! It worked once, when I was six."

Harry dragged a chair to their table and sat beside B'Elanna. "What worked when you were six, B'Ela?"

B'Elanna smiled at Harry and winked at him. "Pouting to get my way. Chakotay told me it wouldn't work."

Harry started laughing again. "You learning to be subtle, Maquis?"

"Not unless you're learning to be *aggressive*, Starfleet."

Harry leaned towards B'Elanna, getting directly into her face. "Like this, Maquis?"

B'Elanna grabbed his face and kissed him suddenly. Teeth, tongues, and lips were brought into play as both participants in the kiss tried to grab control of the kiss from each other. B'Elanna ended the kiss by biting his lower lip and drawing blood. Then she pulled back and smiled into his face. "Actually, more like *that*, Starfleet."

Harry suddenly kicked his chair back and swooped down and threw B'Elanna over his shoulder. "We'll see who's the more aggressive, B'Elanna!" Then he strode out of the holodeck, applause ringing after him.

Seven turned to her friend and said, "I think I'd enjoy seeing Chakotay do that to you, Thomas."

"If Chakotay ever treats me like that, you have my permission to follow us and make sure it leads to copulation."

Seven held up her right pinky and said, "Pinky swear?"

Tom grabbed her pinky with his own and said, "Pinky swear. I've got the feeling that you were expecting something like *that* to happen."

Seven's face went totally blank, but she continued to dance with Tom. "I have no idea what you're talking about."

"The Harry and B'Elanna thing."

"Oh, that. Yes, I had some inkling that my friends Harrison Kim and B'Elanna Torres were attracted to each other. I set about to make sure that they were in a situation where they could either admit those feelings, or act on them."

"Should I be worried about myself?"

Seven smiled beautifically at Tom. "Only if you don't follow my advice from earlier today."

"You want me to do that here?"

Seven glanced over his shoulder at the now alone Commander and turned back to face Tom. "Not *right* now, no. But perhaps we should go back to the table. He *is* all alone over there."

"And we can't have that, can we?"

"Of course not." Seven smiled as they made their way back to the table. She sat down between Chakotay and Tom, picking back up her glass of water. She raised an eyebrow at the silence at the table.

Tom rolled his eyes in answer, turned to look at the object of his lust and smiled. "So what did B'Elanna do to get you out tonight, Chakotay?"

Chakotay smiled at Tom. "What makes you think she had to *do* anything?" Seven and Tom look at each other, sharing amused glances, then they turned back to look at Chakotay. He suddenly got a sinking feeling in his stomach. //They're up to something. Or they're about to make me the butt of some joke.//

"This is *you*, Chakotay. You haven't voluntarily set foot in Sandrine's since B'Elanna and Vorik had that little *adventure* with Pon Farr."

Seven cocked her head sideways and looked at Tom. "Is it true what B'Elanna told me about that time?"

Tom turned to look at his friend, a confused look on his face. "Is *what* true?"

"That she marked you as her mate and that Commander Chakotay ordered you to copulate with her."

"Yes, it's true. What else did B'Elanna tell you about that adventure?" Tom raised an eyebrow at her, wondering where her questioning was leading.

"That sometimes the first choice we make is not the wisest. If I tell you anymore, I'm afraid I'd have to kill you."

Tom started laughing at her comment, while Chakotay just stared at the pair of them, thoroughly confused. Tom began to shake his head, obviously fighting giving back into his laughter. "Remind me to *stop* watching twentieth century vids near you, Seven."

"If you say so, Lieutenant Paris." Tom just raised an eyebrow at the usage of his rank, but let it slide.


Two days later, Seven stood in Astrometrics performing her duties and barely reacted when someone came into her "space". //I have *got* to quit paying attention when Thomas uses those annoying twentieth century phrases. At least I finally got him to stop calling me "Doll Face".// Without looking up from her panel she spoke, "How may I help you, Ensign Kim?"

"I'm not here on business, Seven."

Seven turned around and crossed her arms over her chest. "Then why *are* you here?" She took in his appearance, having to stop herself from smirking at the bite mark along his jawbone.

"I wanted to thank you."

"Thank me." Seven's forehead scrunched up and her words were spoken clearly and showing no tone. "Why would you want to thank me?"

Harry smiled at her, and reached forward to hug her. "For helping me win B'Elanna."

"I was not aware she was a prize to be won. I highly doubt the Lieutenant would wish to hear herself talked about in such a manner." She stepped out of his embrace and began to work on a nearby panel.

"B'Elanna lets me talk about her anyway I wish." Seven's raised eyebrow and complete silence told him of her doubt. Harry grinned at her again. "Okay, she doesn't, but I thought you'd appreciate the humor in the situation."

"I am Borg. We do not 'appreciate the humor' in any situation."

Harry snorted and started chuckling when she merely gazed levelly at him. "Tell me another, Seven. 'Cause the slight tick at the corner of your mouth when you delivered that one gave you away."

"I am very busy, Ensign. Perhaps this conversation could wait until a later time?"

"Sure. See you at dinner tonight!" Harry left Astrometrics with a spring in his step and Seven merely shook her head.

She turned to the panel, picked up her staff meeting PADD, and activated the comm program she usually only used during staff meetings. //B'Elanna is *so* going to want to hear *this*.//


Down in Engineering, B'Elanna blinked in surprise at the connection occurring on her PADD. //Seven's in Astrometrics today. Why would she be using the PADD connection program? Guess I should see what she wants.// B'Elanna activated her side of the connection and began reading.

{I send you greetings from a few decks up, Lieutenant. I bet you're wondering about this, huh? I thought this was the best way to tell you what just happened, without anyone else able to easily track this. Your *MATE* was just in here visiting. He wears your mark well, my friend.}

B'Elanna had to stop herself from snorting aloud at what Seven was both saying and not. B'Elanna entered in her response. {Noticed that right away, did you? Yeah, I claimed Harry Kim. Never thought I'd see the day that Starfleet and I got together. Well, I guess I have seen the day now. So, what did he do?}

B'Elanna waited for her friend's response, while ordering around her staff. //They don't suspect anything. Bet the news about Harry's bite mark hasn't reached them yet.// She blinked when the response appeared on her screen.

{It was a bit difficult to miss. I cannot wait to see what the 'irrelevant discourse' makes of it. Now that my personal mission to get you two together is complete, I think we should focus our efforts on Thomas and Chakotay, don't you? Perhaps some 'let's break it to our best friends at the same time' type of situation, without the best friends of course?}

B'Elanna snorted at her last question, and had to glare when Sue Nicoletti turned to her CO in confusion. "Something bothering you, Lieutenant Nicoletti?"

"No, Sir."

"Then I suggest you get back to work."

"Yes, Sir."

B'Elanna waited for Sue to get back to work, then made her reply. {You want Harry and I to invite Tom and Chakotay, respectively, to dinner, but not show up?}

{Of course. My plan to get those two, as Thomas says, lugheads together won't work if you and Harry are there. Now will it?}

{I suppose not. But who should do the inviting? And is your name to be mentioned?}

{You invite Thomas. Harry should invite Chakotay. Let them know it's casual, the less clothes the better. And did I *really* just write that?}

{Yes, yes you did. I think being friends with both Tom *and* I has warped you, Seven. We'll get you leering at people openly in no time.}

{You will not! I plan to remain the cold and calculating Borg-lady with everyone but my inner circle. And now it sounds like I'm plotting world domination or something, doesn't it? It's official, Thomas Paris has warped me for life!}

{That's not so bad. At least you know whom to blame. But back to the dinner invite, mention you or not?}

{Please don't. They're both suspicious about me anyway. In less than two hours I told them both, separately of course, to jump the other one.}

{Really? Have you done it since the other day?}

{No, but they're both still suspicious. If you and Harry had come up for air the last two days, you would have known that. How is he, by the way?}

{Shouldn't you be the one answering that? You've seen him more recently than I have.}

{Ha-ha. Answer the question, funny person.}

{He's *good*. He managed to satisfy both sides to my personality. We'll be keeping him around until, oh... death.}

{That's not claiming a lot. Harry dies all the time, or so I'm told.}

{Funny! I should go and enact your wicked plot. Where should I have them meet us?}

{Holodeck One. Holodeck Two is hosting the Resort tonight. I've just reserved the holodeck in *your* name, and have the *perfect* program to run for them.}

{Should I be worried for their safety?}

{Only if the pair of them can't figure out what a huge bed, soft sheets, and a few tubes of lube are used for.}

{So basically, I *should* worry?}

{I refuse to answer that, or think about the answer on the grounds that I might start laughing. And you'd probably laugh too. And since you're probably strolling through *your* engine room chatting with me, that'd be a tough thing to cover up.}

{Yeah, yeah. Well, I'm signing off now to enact your plan. I'll let you know how it goes.}

{Good day, Lieutenant Torres.}

{Good day, Seven of Nine.}


That night, both Tom and Chakotay approached Holodeck One wearing casual clothes and neither was truly surprised to see the other. Chakotay spoke first. "I see you got invited as well. You don't think this is some dastardly plot, do you?"

"A plot? Why would Harry and B'Elanna be plotting against you, or us, Chakotay?"

"I've no idea. But you *did* notice the significant looks the pair of lovebirds were giving us during lunch today, didn't you?"

"I noticed. I also noticed the way Seven's mouth kept quirking up at the corner whenever she happened to glance at our table."

"I didn't notice. Where was she?"

"At a table with the Delaneys, Sue Nicoletti, and Ensign Culhane."

"The five most attractive women on board were sitting together and you didn't make any sort of comment?"

"And risk Seven's wrath? Not for all the latinum in the Great Depository."

"And Seven would have found out how?"

"B'Elanna would have told her. And, she might have heard it for herself."

Chakotay checked the time and asked the computer. "Computer, locate Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Torres."

"Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Torres are in Holodeck One."

Tom shrugged when the other man looked at him. "I guess they started the program without us." He looked over at the panel, and shrugged again. "It's running a Torres program, but it's not one I recognize."

Both men walked into the holodeck and stopped short when they noticed their surroundings. Both tried to turn back around, worried that they'd interrupted something private. Chakotay realized what happened first.

"They locked us in here. Why?"

"Damned if I know." Tom glanced around the opulent bedroom and spotted something on a nearby table. He started laughing when he finally took it in. "We've been had."

Before Chakotay could reply, Seven appeared before them, a broad smile on her face. "Welcome gentlemen. If all worked according to plan, the two of you are now under privacy lock in Holodeck One. You've also managed to find B'Elanna and Harrison's comm badges, but probably haven't ventured very far into the room." Her image shifted stances and grinned evilly. "The Holodeck is reserved until 0600 hours tomorrow, and it's in B'Elanna's name, so no one will realize it's you two in here. There's food provided, and I hope you enjoy your stay."

Just before she turned to leave, Seven looked over her shoulder and grinned again. "And Thomas? JJH." Then she walked away, dissolving with each step she took.

Tom snorted and looked at the confused look on Chakotay's face. "Something wrong, Chakotay?"

"Seven planned this, and she left us a personal greeting. Do you know what she meant at the end?"

Tom stalked across the few feet between his position and Chakotay's, to stop right in front of the other man. He grinned predatorily at him. "Oh, yes," he purred, then he grabbed Chakotay and kissed him passionately. //She was right. All I needed to do was "Just Jump Him."//

The End

Read the NC-17 sequel written by my "twin", Leone, The Joys of Jumping.