Starting Over 1/?
Pairing: P/T C/7 (implied) C/P eventually
Major Character death: In the beginning.
Rated R for language and a good punch or two.
It is too long? Too much chatter? Too slow moving?
Feedback is welcome firstname.lastname@example.org
Eighteen months, He had been back
for eighteen months now.
He knew within a short time of their
return to the Alpha Quadrant that he had made a mistake. Seven needed a
mentor, a teacher
He was happier now, a bit lonely
sometimes but happier now
A sound brought him back to the present. It was a beep. His computer beeping again was letting him know that someone was trying to get in contact with him. He chuckled again. As much as he wanted to be one with nature he couldn't give up the modern world completely. His computer was his one luxury. Making his way back into the house, he wondered if it was Kathryn he hadn't heard from her since she left on her own new adventure, back out into the stars and the great beyond. He switched on the computer and was completely surprised to see Tom Paris looking back at him. A very despondent Tom Paris, hollow haunted eyes.
"Tom? Are you alright?" Chakotay
asked sitting down. He knew
"Um Chakotay, there has been an accident."
Tom was so quiet.
Without hesitation Chakotay spoke.
"I will be there as soon as I can Tom!"
"Okay." Was all Tom could reply and he switched off the computer.
Chakotay immediately ran to his bedroom
grabbing a carryall out of
Chakotay once satisfied he had everything
he needed, walked out of
His mother assured him that she would tend to his plants and keep the place free of dust until he came back. He kissed her goodbye and left for the transport center.
He would be transported to Utopia
Prime and then he would have to pick up a shuttle transport to Earth he
would be there within 24 hours. Once he made his arrangements he sent a
message to the Paris home and to Kathryn, believing that she would have
been told of
she was beautiful, special, unique
and most definitely lovable. She
Chakotay remembered Tom and B'Elanna's
courtship and wedding. He
Well whatever had happened in the
past didn't matter anymore. Tom and B'Elanna were happy they had Miral
and another child on the way.
"Sir." The co-pilot broke thought his thoughts "We will be arriving in about twenty minutes."
"Thank you." Was all Chakotay to
choke out. Had he been so
Twenty minutes later the shuttle
landed in San Francisco and
"Come in Chakotay." Harry spoke quietly as if afraid of waking someone. Chakotay took the offered hand and shook it. He stepped in and noticed that the house was deathly quiet.
"I got here as quickly as I could,
Harry where's Tom? What
"There was an accident." Chakotay
could see that Harry was fighting
"Like he had any idea what in hell he was talking about. According to the reports B'Elanna told him three times not to test it yet this morning they did just that."
"Please Harry, tell me" Chakotay already knew what the rest of the story was but he needed to hear it anyway.
"I am not sure exactly where she
was but knowing her she was
"They were all killed instantly." Shaking his head horrified at the loss of his crew Harry slumped on the couch sobbing. Chakotay followed him down sitting heavily next to Harry.
"Tom's upstairs resting the doctor
came and gave him something to
"God Chakotay I don't think I have
ever seen Tom so bad before."
Harry nodded "Got them both. I was
called by my superiors and as far
"Is anyone up there with him?" Chakotay
was trying so hard to
"When I got here the only one that was here was the Doc."
"Where is his father?"
"Don't know honestly, didn't think to ask if Tom had called anyone. He told me he called you and then he just fell apart." Harry seemed a bit calmer now, wiping his eyes clearing his throat of the lump that had been there for the past 27 hours.
"He must have called his parents, B'Elanna's father?"
Chakotay got up from the couch and walked to the communiqué console.
He checked and the only Comm that
went out in the last 27 hours was
"Mrs. Paris I am sorry to disturb you at home. I am Chakotay a friend of Tom and B'Elanna's" He hoped that his voice didn't betray his sorrow in speaking her name.
"Yes I remember you, you were the
Maquis Captain, turned First Officer. Tom has spoken of you many times.
How can I help you
"I am calling because there has been
an accident." Chakotay
"Tom?" Tears came immediately to her eyes. "Please not Miral!"
hakotay shook his head. "Oh My God! It's B'Elanna isn't it?" Miriam Paris screamed.
"I am afraid that yes, B'Elanna has been killed in an accident at the Starfleet research faculty"
"Why didn't my husband tell me this?
Why didn't Tom call me?"
Chakotay shook his head in amazement he just watched a female version of Tom complete with the bounce back capabilities that for seven years had boggled his mind.
"Well Tom's mother is on her way
and she is none too happy with the Admiral. She seems to think he knew
and decided not to tell
"I would not be surprised if he decided to save this piece of information until he could figure out how to save his own ass."
Chakotay spun around at the sound
of Tom's voice coming from the
"Tom, do you need anything?" It was the only thing Chakotay could think to say.
"Hi Chakotay, I can't think of anything I need other than my wife and my life back. Can you get that back for me?" Normally Chakotay would have flinched at the smart-ass remark but years of practice had taught him it was just Tom's way of handling life's problems.
"Hey buddy how about something light
to eat?" Harry came up
"I'm not hungry right now Harry, thanks though. There are things I need to get arranged. I am just not sure where to start."
Tom rubbed his trembling hands over
his face. At that moment his
"I am here now Tom" She held him close to her as they cried together "Everything will be fine. I will take care of everything."
"Thanks mom but I really need to do this."
"Tom you don't have to do it all
yourself really. Your friends and family will do whatever is needed to
help you through this." Harry walked over to the huddled adults and
added his own hug to the mix. Chakotay stood back unsure even after all
this time if his comfort would be accepted. Mrs. Paris seemed to senses
his reluctance, she turned and offered an arm to him. He glided into it.
After a few minutes three of the four adults sobbing had subsided.Chakotay
decided it was time to do what he could for Tom, moving away
`THAT SON OF A BITCH! THIS IS THE
LAST STRAW!" Miriam got off
"I want to speak to my husband NOW." She was in full "Paris Mode" Tom would have called it.
"I don't give a damn who he is with or what he is doing. You tell him that if he does not appear before me either on the screen or at his son's house within the next five minutes Starfleet will be minus their infamous Admiral Paris." Chakotay decided that he never wanted her anger directed at him. He actually felt sorry for the admiral for all of two seconds. Then realized there was nothing to feel sorry for he had brought her wrath upon himself. He should have been here with his grieving son, not off somewhere playing admiral.
Chakotay felt that Tom's assessment
of his father's role in the
"Paris men fear nothing save their
wives anger Chakotay." Tom
"Well Tom I am not a Paris but I fear your mother's anger also. I also feared B'Elanna's. Thankfully I didn't fall victim to it too often." He smiled at Tom as they both remembering the one time that B'Elanna actually threatened Chakotay with bodily harm.
//"Chakotay, Tom and I are getting
married in two weeks" B'Elanna was beaming. He had never seen her so happy.
"And I would like you to give me away. You are the closest person to me
on this ship."
"B'Elanna are you sure you aren't
rushing this." He never got to finish.
"Bel' calm down," Tom said quietly.
"Calm down? This P'Tak doesn't understand."
She growled to Tom but staring at Chakotay. "If I have to beat him to get
him to do this I will."
"I was only asking if you were positive that you wanted to get married so soon. Yes I know you and Tom have been dating for a while now and I have no doubt that the two of you love each."
"Then why?" Tom stopped her mid-sentence.
"Let him finish." He motioned to Chakotay to go on.
"All I meant by asking if you were
rushing was you both just decided that you loved each other and maybe there
should be a time period where you both work through a few issues you have.
That is all
"I am sorry Chakotay. I know that you really only have my best interest at heart." She seemed suitably deflated now. Much calmer. "Honestly Tom and I have done nothing but talk about the issues we have with relationships and asking for help. We know that we will have to keep working on it. But can you honestly ask us to wait until they are all worked out? It could take years before that happen. I am not willing to wait years before I can get married." She was determined to make Chakotay understand their reasons for getting married.
"I am not saying that you should wait years B'Elanna. How about you give it three months not two weeks? Can you wait that long?"
"I suppose we could take the time
to work through an issue or
"Okay three months from today. If
the captain agrees and you
"Now I would love to see that. B'Elanna
blushing." Tom laughed
Chakotay laughed at the memory and then remember the wedding. He didn't think he would ever see B'Elanna more beautiful or Tom more handsome. Pushing the latter thought back down to where it came from.
He looked at Tom's swollen eyes,
not giving himself time to think he
"Thank Chakotay for everything."
Tom spoke to Chakotay looking in the mirror at himself and his friend.
Yes they were friends Tom thought. After all these years he knew beyond
a shadow of doubt that he and Chakotay were friends. He had accepted that
friendship willingly knowing that was all that would be offered. Chakotay
wanted a wife and children and he deserved that. So why did he ended up
with no one at this time? Tom couldn't understand it. Although everyone
had thought for years that he and the captain to would get together, when
Chakotay started dating Seven Tom believed that maybe Chakotay had found
what he wanted and needed. He remembered how sad he was, when after only
six months of returning to the Alpha Quadrant Chakotay announced that he
was going back to Dorvan V alone. He and Seven had parted company. It wasn't
At first Tom though that maybe then
Chakotay and the captain
Looking at Chakotay now Tom could
see regret in his eyes but
"So Chakotay tell me what did I drag
you away from?" Feeling
"You know Owen I have put up with
more bullshit from you in thirty seven years and more than any woman should
be expected to take
"Well she told him didn't she." Harry said as he walked up the stairs to Chakotay and Tom as they headed out of the bathroom. All three men laughed but not one of them doubted that Miriam would in fact make the admiral's life a living hell for the next fifty years and even beyond the grave.
"Gentlemen I am sorry that you had
to witness my brow beating
"Oh so that is what you told B'Elanna
when we first got home huh? No wonder I spent more time on the couch here
then when we were
"No I didn't have to tell B'Elanna how to handle you. She told me she was just going easy on you while you were on Voyager because I wasn't around to gently remind you that she was always right and you were lucky to have her." Miriam Paris' face lit up as she spoke about her daughter-in-law. She knew from the moment she met feisty half Klingon that they were kindred spirits. She was going to miss her.
"Your father said he will be here within the hour. Now I am not sure if that is good news or bad news for any of you, but his place is beside his son and granddaughter in their time of need."
Chakotay just wanted this all over
with "Tom where did they place
"I am here are you happy now Miriam?" He was cold and the look on his face told the other four that he was not happy about having to spend time with his son no matter what the circumstances were. Chakotay automatically felt his back go up and the urge to beat this man who made Tom's entire life miserable was very hard to control.
"You know Admiral if I thought it
would actually matter to
"How dare you talk to me like that? You ungrateful little shit?" the admiral was in no mood for what he felt was his son's whining.
"Ungrateful? I see I am suppose to
be grateful that you are such an arrogant jerk that you allowed my wife
to be killed because you assumed you knew better than her about the work
she had been
"Admiral I would suggest that you
back off now." Chakotay was
"So you want to give the masses a
show of how you use to
Tom's hands were balled into fists
and he was clenching them. He
Before Tom could react to the raising
of his father's arm, Chakotay
"Would someone please, please get
this asshole out of here."
Miriam grabbed her husband's arm and escorted him to the door.
"You know Owen I thought for once
in your life you would find it in your heart to just be a father to your
son. To put aside your stupid Paris
"I am sorry Tom." Chakotay couldn't look Tom in the face he just knew Tom was going to be pissed that Chakotay pulled his "protector" act. He felt a hand on his arm and he looked up what he saw actually surprised him.
"Don't be sorry Chakotay I really appreciate the fact that you felt the need to protect me from my sperm donor." Tom stated matter of faculty.
"You know I don't think I have ever
seen Owen that mortified
"No shit!" Harry came out of his
fog. He could not believe
"You know Bel' would have loved to
have seen you deck the
"I can't believe you called him Mr.
Paris Chakotay. That had
Although Tom never admitted it to
his mother she knew he was
None of that mattered now. Owen was
going to be gone, and by the time she was done with him he wouldn't even
be a trophy admiral in
Over the next four days things blurred
for them all. People coming and going. Everyone from Voyager that could
be there was. They all showed Tom that they did like him and they were
genuinely sorry that his life had taken a turn for the worst. Tom was most
surprised when Captain Janeway, upon hearing her mentor's accountability
and sub- sequent deplorable behavior towards his son, vowed to make sure
"Tom he may have been my mentor but you are my friend, B'Elanna was my friend. I can not in good conscience stand by and watch him get away with what I feel was murder." She was very angry "Even if it was involuntary. He should have listened to the engineers, he should have listened to B'Elanna and Harry. No one in Starfleet has the right to believe that his or her thinking is more superior then anyone else's. He is responsible for the deaths of four people. He must be held accountable for his actions." Janeway was adamant and Tom knew better then to argue with her.
"Alright Captain." Was all he could say. He prayed that she didn't ruin her career for fighting his battle.
When everything was over Tom found
himself sitting in his living room
"Tom Chakotay I have to go now. I am sorry I can't stay longer." Harry hugged his friend.
"Hey I understand Harry you have
a life of your own." Tom patted
"Harry it was good to see you again,
even if the circumstances were
"It was good to see you also Chakotay,
don't be a stranger cone and
"I will certainly try Harry. Be careful."
"Bye Tom, Chakotay. Don't stay up
too late reminiscing." With that
"Do you want something to drink Chakotay?"
"Tea would be great thanks Tom."
Once Tom got tea for Chakotay and a glass of water for him they both sat down on the couch. Tom holding Miral in his lap.
"Chakotay I just want to thank you
for being here and helping me with everything. I know that you loved B'Elanna
and you would do anything
Chakotay put a hand on Tom's arm
"Tom I did it for you not because
"Thanks Cha. That means a lot to
me." Tom hadn't realize he
"You mean a lot to me Tom, I hope you know that." Looking down at the little girl in Tom's lap he noticed that she was sleeping. "Now how about we get this little one to bed. She is tired and frankly you look exhausted too." He stood and took Miral from Tom and turned to go up the stairs to her room. Tom followed numbly he realized that it was now time for him to go forward in his life and start actually dealing with his loss and his empty bed. He had been sleeping on the couch for the past four nights. Giving up his bed to his mother.
Chakotay entered Miral's room and
proceeded to get the little girl
"You know you would make a really
great father, and not a half bad mother at that." He laughed when Chakotay
turned and growled
"Yea well I won't tell anyone if you won't." Tom laughed.
"You better not." Chakotay shot back
as he put Miral in her crib he kissed her ridged forehead. Tom walked over
and stood next to
"What am I going to do now Cha? How
am I going to takecare
"Don't worry Tom you will do just
fine and remember that your
"I know that I can get help if and
when I need it. But part
"Tom, Miral could never be disappointed
in you. You love her
"B'Elanna knew that or she would
have never agreed to marry
"How do you always know what to say so I don't feel like a complete idiot?"
"That wasn't always true Tom but I am glad now it is." They both laughed at that.
"I want to extend an invitation to you and Miral to come and visit Dorvan whenever you want. If you need to get away or feel over- whelmed just call me and let me know you are on your way."
Chakotay hoped that Tom would take
him up on the offer. "My family
"Thank you Chakotay, I appreciate
it. Perhaps I will take you
"I hope you do. I would like to show you my world. It's a far easier life than what you have here on Earth even though we don't have all the modern conveniences you have here. Life there is better in many ways."
"I think I could use a little less confusion in my life these days. I will think about it."
"Good. Schedule time off from Starfleet and come and visit. Bring your mother. I am sure she and my mother would get on like a house on fire."
"I am leaving Starfleet Chakotay.
I made that decision this morning."
"I'm not doing this because of him.
I am doing this because I
They had made their way into Tom's bedroom while they talked and now they were both sitting on the side of the bed. Neither one seemed to think twice about it. Just two friends talking.
"Tom take some time before you do
this. You need to have a
"Chakotay you know that is bullshit.
I can get a job flying anywhere now. And I know I can make more money working
for a private company then I ever could for Starfleet, we both know that.
I am not
"Good, not that I was worried you would do anything irresponsible or anything. I just want you to think real careful about it." Chakotay couldn't believe he was trying to convince Tom to stay in Starfleet after everything that had happened to the both of them in the past ten years. But he knew that Tom sometimes didn't think before he acted and he regretted that more times than not.
Tom started to yawn, kicked off his
shoes and laid down on his bed.