Starting Over 2/?
Pairing: P/T C/7 (implied) C/P eventually
Major Character death: In the beginning.
Rated R for language and a good punch or two.
It is too long? Too much chatter? Too slow moving?
Feedback is welcome firstname.lastname@example.org
Starting Over- Part 2
Tom slowly woke up to the comforting
feeling of warmth and snuggled
"What in hell were you thinking?"
He asked himself. "I just bet Chakotay would have loved to have woken up
with you wrapped
Chakotay, meanwhile, was in the shower
thinking about the
He truly hoped that Tom had not been
too upset when he woke and found himself in bed with his former commander
officer. "Best go and face him." Chakotay thought as he finished his daily
routine and got
"Good Morning Miral." Chakotay smiled at the baby and she smiled back "Morning Tom."
"Morning Cha, did you sleep okay?"
"Yes thanks sorry I feel asleep in your bed. I hope I didn't put you out of it."
"Nah, I didn't notice anyone there. I was so tired." False bravado was the best way to handle this Tom thought.
"Okay. Can I help with anything?"
"Sure grab a couple of plates out of the cabinet, it's almost done. Would you like some tea or juice with your omelet?"
"Tea would be great, I will get it." Chakotay said as he set the table.
"Nonsense you are my guest just sit
there I will get it in a minute."
"Hey don't distract her from her food I will never get her to finish if you keep that up."
"Sorry my sisters yell at me for doing the same thing all the time. I like the kids to have fun when they are eating make them enjoy the food more especially if they aren't too thrilled about what is in front of them. Although she does seem to like those Cheerios."
"She loves them! B'Elanna swore for a while that she would turn into one. It was all she would eat." Tom placed half of the omelet on Chakotay's plate and half on his own.
"Sorry but all that's in the house is eggs, cheese, bread and some vegetables. Though I threw those out I couldn't identify them."
"This is just fine thanks."
"I guess I need to go to the store huh? I never paid attention to even what kind of diapers Miral wears. B'Elanna dealt with it all, probably more because I let her then she really wanted to do it."
"You will figure it all out I am
sure. Don't get too anxious over everything at once. You will overwhelm
yourself. Just take one day at a time, I know you know how to do that.
We lived that way for seven years, you couldn't have forgotten it all that
quickly." Tom knew Chakotay had a point he would just go with the flow.
They ate in
"When do you have to report back to Starfleet?"
"I am suppose to go back on Monday. I have to see about daycare for Miral."
"Well I am not scheduled to leave until late this afternoon, would you like me to go around with you. You know as a second pair of eyes, might help in your decision."
"I can't ask you to do that Chakotay."
" I offered, I don't mind really."
"Alright how about we just see how the day goes. I am not sure if I am ready to have to explain why I have to put my daughter in daycare." Tom felt his eyes well up with tears.
"Can your mom watch Miral for a while? Just until you figure out what you really want to do?"
"You know I hadn't thought of that. I could ask her, she is always saying she doesn't have enough to occupy her time."
The sound of the comm beeping stopped all goings on as Tom stood and handed Chakotay Miral and he went to answer the beep. It was his mother.
"Good Morning Tom. I wanted to see how you and Miral were holding up this morning."
"Morning mom, we are okay thanks.
We were just finishing up
"Well I was thinking, Chakotay has
to leave this afternoon
I would like to come and get Miral,
maybe take her to the park or
"We were going to go and check out
daycare for Miral before
"Daycare? Whatever for?"
"Mom I have to work and I can't see Starfleet letting me bring Miral with me in a backpack."
"Thomas Eugene Paris! How dare you think that I would allow my granddaughter be watched by strangers. I will take care of her while you are at work. End of discussion."
"Yes mother!" Tom snapped his hand to his forehead and saluted his mother.
"Don't you be a wiseass with me young
man." She smiled "Now I
"Okay mom thanks. Oh by the way how
are you? Has dad been
"He may have stopped by but I changed
the locks on the doors.
"Mom you never cease to amaze me.
I will see you when you get
"No need to thank you son, family
help each other out.
Signing off Tom went back to the
kitchen to find Chakotay and Miral
"So princess would you like to go to the park with your grandmother today?"
"Park! Gamma play!" Miral giggled
as Tom tickled her belly."Yes play with grandma at the park. You would
like that wouldn't you?"
Chakotay just laughed "Well she seems to know exactly what she wants. A very determined young lady, just like her mother." Suddenly saddened by the thought of B'Elanna not being around to watch her daughter grow up and noticing that Tom stiffened at his words. Tears welled up in both men's eyes.
"I am sorry Tom I wasn't thinking."
"It's okay Cha don't worry. It's
going take some time to get
"Can I ask you to entertain Miral while I get her bag ready?"
"Sure pumpkin and I will just play in the living room until her granny gets here." Chakotay stood and took Miral from Tom.
"Come on sweetie you and Uncle Tay
can play while daddy gets
"You know if my mother hears you call her granny she will probably skin you alive. It's grandma or grandmother only."
"I will keep that in mind I promise.
My nieces and nephews
Tom took a moment to watch the two
of them play together. Chakotay would make a great father he thought to
himself. Tom felt sad once
"Tom you didn't drag me here. There
was no where else I would
"So no lady pining away for you while you dig up bones?"
"Nope, I figured after two failed attempts and several meaningless encounters it just wasn't in the cards for me to have someone in my life like that." Chakotay hated to admit that to anyone, not even his mother knew that he had given up all hope of ever being with someone. His thinking was if he found someone they would be cheated because he could never give them everything of himself. Tom took up too much room in his heart for anyone else to fit.
"Oh come on Cha don't think that way, you will find someone special." Tom's heart was breaking. He didn't want to think of Chakotay living alone for the rest of his life.
"I use to think so Tom but that special
someone came and went
"I am sorry that things didn't work out for you and Kathryn."
"Kathryn and I knew along time ago
that we would never last once we got back to the Alpha Quadrant. We both
wanted totally different things. We spent many nights talking about it.
She said without a doubt she would remain in Starfleet and I had no desire
to do so. I knew I wanted to go back to Dorvan and help rebuild. Staying
on earth that first six months back was one of the hardest decisions I
ever made. But I thought Seven would be more at home in a technologically
advanced society. And you see how that turned out."
"Honestly Tom, we both knew we weren't
the right people for
"Yea demanding and ruthless when
necessary and kindhearted
"Cranky and Bitchy at all times too."
"Cha I am shocked that you would
say that Kathryn was bitchy.
"Hell, I was talking about me being the bitchy one." They both laughed.
"Well I had better go and get Miral's
things my mom should be
Tom turned and went upstairs as Chakotay
went back to playing with
After Miriam picked up Miral, Tom
and Chakotay decided to tackle
While checking out the diapers Tom was lost, he didn't even know what size he should get let alone what brand.
"Just pick one Tom, it can't be that
hard!" Chakotay couldn't
"But what if she doesn't like the way it feels?"
"Well you could always use cloth diaper."
"And just who is going to clean them? NOT ME that's for sure!" Frustrated Tom pulled the closed package off the shelf and tossed it in the basket.
"If my daughter ends up being cranky
because her butt hurts I
"Okay!" Their task done and paid
for they left for their next
"I'm hungry, let's go get something to eat. After that you can help me get everything back to the house and put away. It should be time for you to leave by then."
"That's fine. Are you sure you don't want me to stay another day? I told you I have anything pressing to get back to."
"Nah, I have to get started on learning how to do this on my own. Thanks for the offer though."
"Alright but if you need to talk you have my comm frequency!"
Chakotay smiled, he knew that Tom
didn't really need to be coddled.
"I got it alright. Now there is a Mexican place not far from the house we can have lunch there."
While they ate they talked about
Chakotay work and all the things he
"Owen just go away and leave Tom
alone. He doesn't need you
"I am his father damn it and I want answers."
"Why? Since when have you ever cared what he does with his life? As long as it doesn't tarnish." Tom interrupted her "Mom don't, Take Miral in the house I will deal with him."
Chakotay stood next to Tom ready
to pounce on the son of a bitch if
"Admiral you have two seconds to get your ass away from my house or I will call Starfleet security to have you removed."
"I want to know who in hell you think
you are resigning your commission! You have no idea the strings I had to
pull to get you
"That is exactly why I am leaving. I want nothing from YOU nothing to do with your or Starfleet! I don't need them and I sure as hell don't need you!" Tom knew he was yelling too but at this point he didn't care. Chakotay stood in front of Tom so he couldn't see his father's face.
"Tom don't make a screen out in front of your home. He isn't worth it. Go back inside with your mother and Miral. The Admiral and I have a few things to discuss. I will give you a call when I get home. Okay?" Chakotay hoped that Tom would just walk away. He would take care of the admiral himself. Again he worried that Tom would resent him for trying to arrange his life for him. But Chakotay also promised himself that by the time he was done with the admiral he would know that if he didn't back down he would end up far worse off then his son had all those years ago.
"Fine Cha but only because you asked
me. Personally I don't care if my neighbors know that my father is a bastard."
He turned and
"Yes Tom I will call you as soon as I get in. I promise. Now you go and take care of that beautiful little girl and don't forget to ask for help if you need it."
"Alright I will I promise. I am sorry I couldn't walk you to the hub."
"That's okay Tom the admiral will walk me. Bye Tom, Bye Mrs. Paris it was a pleasure to see you again." Looking down at Miral "Good bye sweetie you be a good girl for your daddy." Chakotay turned to see one very irate admiral and glared back at him.
"Come on Admiral you can walk me
to the hub while we talk."
"Get your hands off of me Maquis! Just who in hell do you think you are? I should have had you arrested for assaulting me the other day." Arrogance seeping out of every pore or so it seemed to Chakotay.
"I am the person that is going to save your sorry ass from certain destruction, that is who I am. Although for the life of me I can't figure out why I would do that." Chakotay growled at him "Oh I remember why now, I am doing this because Tom is my friend and B'Elanna was my friend too. Neither of them deserves to have their names dragged through the mud on account of YOU. Now this is the way it is going to go, you will leave Tom and Miral alone. You will not fight Tom if he decides to leave Starfleet. You will do this because while the Maquis gathered a lot of information on the Cardassians they also gathered quite a bit of information on key Starfleet and Federation personnel.
I have access to that information.
Guess what Admiral Paris, we have
"Once scum always scum Maquis."
"You should know Admiral. Now again
do we understand each other?"
"Oh I am sure that you think I can't but I say I will. If you don't want Starfleet to find out about all your side dealings you will listen and understand." Chakotay was sure that the admiral had no idea to what extent the Maquis had dug. But he was certain that the admiral didn't want anyone to know half of what he had been involved with over the years. He was banking on that.
"I will make you pay Maquis." The admiral's wheels were turning trying to figure out what the Maquis had actually found out about him. But he was going to get this scum for threatening him.
"You can try Admiral, you can try. Oh and if you think you can figure out what I have and where it is, forget it. Not even the infamous Admiral Paris can get at my information. And if something should happen to me, say an unfortunately accident or even if it looks like I died of natural causes, this information will be made public as long as you are alive." Chakotay looked feral as he pronounced his final threat. Silently glad that he had left all the information he had in the trusted hands of Neelix back in the DQ. The transport operator motioned to Chakotay that it was his turn.
"My turn to go admiral. I am going to assume that you understand me, you will stay out of Tom's life. And you will give your wife the divorce she wants, give her everything she wants. She is a great lady and I for one have no idea how she put up with your bullshit for all these years. She has my respect and admiration. You on the other hand provide me with nothing but loathing and disgust. Than again I know I provide you with the same so we are even. Good Bye MR. Paris, Enjoy your pitiful lonely life."
Chakotay stepped on the pad and nodded
to the operator. As his felt
Thinking back over the last six days
he went through a series of
Chakotay had also felt happiness
and sereneness he hadn't felt in
Back on Dorvan he went to see his
mother, letting her know he was
"Hey Cha I see you made it home okay. Good."
"Yeah the trip was uneventful thanks."
"Cha my father didn't give you too much shit did he?"
"Nope none, we talked or rather I talked and he listened."
"Cha please tell me you didn't do anything that will make him want to come after you. I don't want to be the cause of any problems for you."
"Tom trust me your father will not be a problem for me or you for that matter. I just explained that it would be in everyone's best interest if he slipped quietly out of your life and allowed you to be the man and father I know you are."
"Oh I am sure he had a few words to say about what kind of man I am."
"Actually he didn't say a word about
you at all. Although he had a few not so nice words to say about me." Chakotay's
"I am sure he did. Well listen I will let you go. I am sure you are tired from your trip and you need to get rest before you do back to digging up bones and pieces of pottery. Thank you again for being here for me and Miral. Thank you for being such a great friend."
"You are most welcome Tom. It was my pleasure. I want you to know that I meant it when I said you two were welcome here anytime. I do expect to hear from you once in a while and I want lots of pictures of Miral."
"I will remember and don't be surprised if you get a call telling you we are on our way. I will give you a call in a couple of days. My mom is taking Miral tomorrow so I can see about a job outside Starfleet."
"So you have given your notice already? I wasn't sure how your father knew of your plans."
"Actually I sent my notice first thing yesterday morning. I am not going to change my mind either. I meant it when I said I couldn't work for people who just follow orders anymore."
"I can understand that Tom. That was exactly how I felt and why I didn't expect the commission when we got back. Even though Starfleet had "seen the error of their ways" I just couldn't get passed what had happened before.
"I know and that is just one more thing I respect you for, your conviction and your principles. I want to be just like you when I grow up." Tom grinned and Chakotay laughed.
"You are crazy Tom." `I love you!' Chakotay wanted desperately to add that out loud.
"That's me crazy Tom Paris. HMM I
wonder if I could get away
"You can do whatever you want but
what name would you go by
"Gods not Thomas! That reminds me
of the admiral. The only
"Well you are Tom to me, I don't think I could call you Thomas." `Babe works' Chakotay thought to himself.
"This is a silly conversation you
know I think we are both
"You okay Tom?"
"Yeah sorry B'Elanna just popped in my head. I miss her so much Cha." The tears ran down his face. He didn't even try to stop them. Not after all the times he had cried on Chakotay in the past week.
"I know you do Tom, I miss her too. It will take some time but the pain of the loss will subside. She will always be in your thoughts but someday those thoughts won't hurt so much."
"I'm sure you are right, just doesn't feel that way right now."
"It will Tom one day it will."
"I am trusting that you are telling the me the truth. Now it's time we signed off you have work in the morning and I have to get Miral ready for bed."
"Good Night Tom. I will talk to you soon."
"Night Cha Sleep Well Dream Sweet"
"You too Tom." Chakotay signed off.
Getting up he went about putting
his things away. His mind wandering
`Gods old man you haven't thought like that in a couple of years.' He stopped fantasizing about Tom after he and B'Elanna got together. He felt like he was betraying B'Elanna. He couldn't do that. Now within six days of her death he is having fantasies about her husband again. Chakotay snorted to himself. "Well tonight's sleep should be interesting. I am probably going to dream about Tom and B'El is going to come and kick my sorry old ass." He spoke out loud.
Chakotay climbed into bed and prayed
he didn't dream at all. Back in San Francisco, Tom was crawling into bed
himself and saying a