Chakotay felt as if he just closed his eyes when he was jolted awake by someone screaming, calling out, "Computer lights up to twenty percent."
Once the room was light enough to see he jumped off his bed when he saw that Tom was thrashing about on his bed caught up in what seemed to be a nightmare screaming.
Racing to Tom's side, placing his arms on either side of Tom, Chakotay lean forward till his lips were beside his ear whispering, "Shhh Tom, It's just a dream you're safe." Whispering over, "Wake up Tom it's just a dream you're safe."
With a gasp, Tom's eye lids flew open, "Cha?"
Running his fingers through Tom's sweat mattered hair till Tom calmed saying, "I'm here."
Wrapping his arms around Chakotay waist holding him tight asking, "Stay?"
Chakotay smiled saying, "I have been Love."
"I mean can I stay in your arms? I didn't stuffer any nightmares last night when I slept in your arms."
With a nod Chakotay looked over at the bio bed with a frown saying, "I'm not sure if this would hold both of us, but we will try it out for size."
Helping Tom to sit up Chakotay climbed up onto the bed saying, "You'll have to lie on top of me, there is no room to sleep on our sides."
Tom smiled said, "You won't hear me complain."
With a smile Chakotay told him, "Nor will I," Once he was settled he said, "On come here."
Tom moved into Chakotay's out stretched arms with a sigh, laying his head in the crook of Chakotay shoulders saying, "Chak can we talk?"
"Sure what do you want to talk about?" Chakotay asked him.
Hedging Tom decided to just plunge right in, "This may be seem rushed but when I shot on the bridge I decided that if I lived through it that I'd never leave things. . . . Uh hell Cha will you marry me?"
Chakotay stunned had to make sure, "Tom are you sure this is what you what?"
"I knew I shouldn't have asked." He muttered as he tried to slide off the bed but when Chakotay didn't release him Tom looked up puzzled at why Chakotay still held him.
Chakotay held him firmly saying, "Poocuh it's not that I don't what to, I need to know that this is what you want."
Smiling slightly Tom tried to explain to him, "Cha, I've wasted so much time pussy footing about you, I've loved you from the moment I first saw you, but once you knew who I was, I saw the desire to kill me in your eyes and Seska told me in no uncertain terms that you were hers, when Dalby and Henley shot me, I knew that I couldn't do it anymore I need you in my life." Pausing Tom wished he could see Chakotay face to see what was going through his mind when he felt Chakotay kissed the top of his head saying, "Yes."
Not sure what he meant he asked, "Yes what?"
"Silly boy, yes I'll marry you."
Laying his head back down onto Chakotay chest with a grin, "I love you."
Nuzzling the top of Tom's head with his cheek he tighten his grip saying, "I love you too. Now go to sleep in the morning we'll sort through everything."
Tom couldn't let sleep over take him till he told Chakotay everything, "Cha?"
"Chakotay I need to tell you something I should have told you before I asked you to marry me."
Chakotay begun to worry hiding the fear he asked, "What is it?"
Sighing Tom wasn't sure how Chakotay would take it would he run as soon as he found out?
Deciding to test the waters before telling him everything else he asked, "Did you ever wonder how I was able to carry Taya to full term?"
Frowning Chakotay said, "Honestly it never crossed my mind why?"
clutching at Chakotay's shirt he asked, "Have you ever heard of the Kanu?"
Chakotay thought for a minute asking, "They'll a race in the Gamma Quadrant not much is known about them apart from the fact that the males carry the babies and human's love to take them as lovers especially male couples so they can have children."
"Well you know a lot about them."
"A bit, but why bring them up?"
Sucking on his bottem lip Tom wished again for his sight so he could look at Chakotay as he told him, "Cuz I'm a half Human and Kanu."
Chakotay stared at him in disbelief saying, "But how is that possible both of your parents are human."
"I didn't know till I was sent to prison they kept giving me a drug that would stop me from getting pregnant when I was born my father hid my Kanu genes, I guess I better tell you want I know about this, After mom had Moira the doctors told her she couldn't have any more children my father so wanted a son so he went to the Kanu home world as you know they mostly have pale skin and blue eyes and blond hair they were the prefect race for him, it also helped that my father liked sleeping with other races, he cheated on mom every chance he got they were never human and nine time out of ten it was a male lover."
Chakotay rubbed Tom's back to calm him he asked, "Did your mother know?"
"She sure did, I think she was glad he turned his attention else where, he loved it rough, before she died, I saw some of the damage he inflicted on her, Ken and him would have be great together, they both like pain, anyhow that getting off the subject, dad soughed out a young male Kanu making a deal with the boy's family that J'loe, that his name, was to remain with dad till a male child was born,"
Tom struggled with the next part, "Dad killed him and I nearly died with him, dad had beaten him to a bloody pulp, J'loe had threaten to take me when he left, saying that he wasn't letting me be raised by him calling him a monster, he died giving birth to me my Kanu genes were suppressed and mom's DNA was added to make me a full human."
Stopping again Tom tried to gauge Chakotay's mood but he couldn't work it out so he carried on, "So when B'Elanna decided she wouldn't carry Taya I went to the Doctor and had him activate my Kanu genes so I could carry her and give birth to her, I swore the Doc to keep it secret, it's all on my file but you need a higher code than what the Captain or you have, if you're wondering why I'm telling you there is a reason why a couple of days ago the Doc told me he couldn't suppress the gene again so there is a risk that I might get pregnant again."
Chakotay shocked to the core couldn't begin to put words to his feelings.
Tom waited for awhile hopping that Chakotay would say something when he didn't he tried to slip off the bed thinking, 'That's it he hates me now, God I ruined a good thing before it even started, good going Paris.'
When Chakotay grasp wouldn't release him he slumped back down knowing that it was useless to fight him in his condition and he wouldn't make it to the other bio bed with crashing into something.
Tighten his grip on Tom, Chakotay kissed the top of his head saying, "I don't know what to say Tom this is a lot to take in."
Dejected Tom buried his head against his chest saying, "That Ok,"
Hearing the tone he used Chakotay reassured him by saying, "This doesn't change the fact that I love you, I still want to have you as my husband but I have to warn you that when we get home and he still alive he won't be for long, Oh and another thing I would love to have children with you are you sure that I can get you pregnant?"
"Yup the Doc checked that out after he told me that he couldn't deactivate the gene, he checked what races would be able and human is one of them."
"Good?" echoed Tom.
"Yup cuz I want to witness that glow you had while carrying Taya with our children, yours and mine."
Muzzling into him, Tom felt the sleep crepting up on him felt his eye lids begin to droop, covering a yawn he stuggled back into Chakotay saying, "I need to sleep,"
"Sleep love you need your rest."
Tom knew that he was safe in Chakotay's arms, fell into a deep sleep.
Chakotay contend to just hold Tom in his arms thought about everything Tom had told him he knew that in the coming days there would be questions that needed to be dealt with but till then he would just be there for Tom and together they would overcome any problems together.