Child of love 16

Chakotay sat down beside Tom not sure how to start trying to think of a way when Tom said, "I know that I hurt you Chakotay and I want to apologize, it was never my intention to hurt you but by keeping things and not trusting you to help me when you offered and by turning you down and pushing you away I did, for that I'm very sorry, I know your guide and mine explained a few things to you but I need to tell you, it was never you, I would have done it to anyone who tried to help me, I don't trust anyone that much. I'm not use to people offering help or support and I need to learn to, but you have to understand this the only person who offered before was Harry he been my friend right from the start while others hated me, your self included sure we got pass that but we never talked about it, I know you think I betrayed you but no one ever told me why you thought that?"

Shocked Chakotay gasped, "You honesty don't know why?"

Shaking his head Chakotay asked, "Why did you take all that shit for at the beginning for?"

"Chakotay understand this, all my life that the treatment I got it's all I know, I don't know what a normal life is to me being beaten up and treated like that is normal for me, to me yours and Harry life's are weird to me, being a Paris isn't all its cracked up to be, I know that now but then I didn't, so why did everyone think I was a traitor?"

"Oh my god, I'm sorry Tom, I thought you knew. After you were caught there were transmissions found from the computer in your cabin, it had detailed information about bases."

"Figures but didn't you think it was weird that I was only with you for a week and never stepped foot off the ship? If I was spy I'd have to have stayed alot longer just how much do you think I could learn about bases I've never seen or knew about?" 

"I honesty never gave it a thought I was just so mad and wasn't thinking clearly."

"Understood but why was it easier for all of you to forgive Tuvok and Seska for the same than it is for me, I'm still putting up with that shit every turn I make I have someone in my face throwing my life into the mud, if they think it's was so easy to being a Paris let them live my life cuz as I said being a Paris ainít easy. Why does everyone think that I had it easy in prison, haven't they heard the rumors?"

"I think everyone is mad because you lead Starfleet. . . "

"Bullshit that just bullshit, all they had to do was ask Janeway and she would have told them that I gave nothing, what could I give her? I knew jackshit." 

That when it hit him right in the middle of his eyes that he had wronged Tom but Tom was still forgiving him for his mistakes while he clung to Tom's mistakes.

"Oh god I'm sorry."

"It's okay you didn't know."

"But I should have all this time you entered a relationship with me and forgave me while I never forgave you let alone to try and find out the truth. Sure I was trying to help you to heal but didn't realized that I had to forgive you for what happened, no wonder you didn't trust me, I'm surprised that you even love me." 

Moving closer to the big man Tom told him, "Never doubt that Cha, I never doubted your love for me, and if you're willing I'm ready to work things out with you and to trust that you won't hurt me."

Drawing the blond into his arms saying, "I promise you that from this day forth, I'll never intentionally hurt you, and also if it's within my power I'll make sure no one else ever does either Poocuh."

"I promise  the same and to tell you if anything is bothering me, I never want to go through this, but Cha I'm glad this happened not because people got hurt but I learnt about things myself, things I needed to learn before I was able to take the next step and you haven't lost Tommy, at the time Tommy needed to hide and Tom or Big Tom as he calls him needed to protect him, till he was stronger, but it's time for him to have some fun along with Tom. Through all this I feel whole all that time there was apart of me missing and I never knew what it was but now I do." 

Nodding his understanding Chakotay kissed the top of his head saying, "Then I'm glad, during that time you were sorting yourself out I got to know more about you as well I saw apart I never saw of you a freer Tom and one I want to know more about, but one that is of age, God I've missed you." 

"Missed you as well, but now it's time for you and Tommy to leave things are heating up and Tommy needs to pass on what I've told him. I'll be home real soon Cha."

Hugging Tom to him as he replied, "Love you Doodle bug."

With a fond smile Tom nodded at the name, "I like but keep it off the bridge please."

"What you like?"

"Yeah Tommy may not remember but mom use to call me that before she died."

"Oh Tom." Hugging Tom tighter Chakotay smiled, "Only if you're sure I don't want to bring up any bad memories."

"I'm sure all the shitty ones happened after she died so there only good one attached to that name, now go they're waiting for you, love you."

Waving Tommy over to him as he said, "Love you as well, see you soon."

"You bet ya, seeya soon Tommy."


Once he found himself back Chakotay's quarters Tommy scrambled off Chakotay lap and darted into his bedroom finding what want he was looking for Tommy returned stating, "Ever'thing you wish to know is in he'e, Tom kept a re'ord of eve'ythi'g that hap'ned to him among other things, the pe'ple who one in'ol'e are who you suspe't but the one who been du'king under the ra'ar will shock ya, Cha I hope that you can unde'stan' why Tom neve' did tell you who was be'ind this since it's a friend of yours."

Kneeling in front of the child he asked, "Who is it Tommy?"

"It's someone named Tabor, Tom told me he was apart of your cell and you called him friend."

Tuvok stepped away from the others tapping his badge, "Tuvok to Ayala."

"Here sir."

"Recall Ensign Vorick we know who it is."

"Aye sir."

"Send a team to round up the suspects and include Ensign Tabor on the list."

"Tabor sir?"

Janeway having heard the doubt in the other man decided to help Tuvok out by saying, "You heard correct Lieutenant, don't question your command officer." 

"Yes Captain, sorry sir. Ayala out."

Chakotay still on his knees shocked at the file he was reading, dazed he slowly got to his feet hissing, "He is so fucking dead."

Kathryn nodded to Sam and Jeanette to talk Tommy out of the room while they discussed what to do.


Tom sat as he waited he wished that he was there when the caught the fuckers sending shy glances over at his guide he had a feeling she knew what he was thinking by what looked like a smile passing over her face he had noticed that before but with her having a beak he was guessing but when he looked into her eyes he could swear that it was laughter he saw there.

Tom scratched the she wolf saying, You know you two need names or do you have them already and just forgot to tell me?"

"Maybe you just didn't ask us."

Rolling his eyes at them as he asked, "Fine may I know what your names are, I feel rather stupid calling you out hey you all the time."

"It never bothered you before Thomas."

With a grin Tom threw are his arms into the air saying, "Fine don't tell me, see if I care, Okay I'll call you Fluffy from now on and you my friend  Wings."

Growling softly, "I think not Thomas, Fluffy indeed."

"Well I kind of like it, it suits you."

Flapping her wings saying, "Mmm yes it sounds so right Fluffy."

"Is that so Wings?"

"Hey I like Wings, Fluffy."

"You ever utter that among the others guides, You'll be my dinner Wings."

"I'll never let that name flow out of my mouth. Anyhow I've heard worse."

Fluffy nodded as she laid back down beside the highly amused human, he loved it when the two got into their mock fights, at first it had shocked him that two highly sort guides would and could at a drop of a hat act like children he knew that they liked the silly names he had given them, he was positive that they had much fancy name and he'd never be able to say them.

Fluffy snuggled into Thomas growling good naturally, "You can only tell Chakotay the man you chose for me if you wish."

Stoking her fur saying, "Thanks Fluffy and Wings for letting use such a silly name for just noble creatures, I'm sure that your real name does you justice, and I hope one day I'll be able to say them."

"We're honored of the names even if they are rather silly but coming from you they show that you love us and because we love you we'll be proud to have them."

Rubbing his head against Fluffy back and stoking Wings feathers saying, "Our time nearly over isn't it?"

"Yes, Thomas."

"Will I see the both of you together again or from now on will it be just Wings?"

"Both you have over steps the boundaries set in the spirit realm and since you're Chakotay mate Wings and I have decided to share the two of you, so when you come seeking guidance we'll both be waiting, now it's time to return."