Author's note: Okay kiddies this one's initial premise might beg you
to suspend your logical thinking for a time and ask you to go a
little with the flow cause the science isn't exactly precise (it is
however closer than you might think) but I promise you, it will
eventually be worth it.

*A special thanks to Haggis for inspiring this whacked out tale of
misadventure and desperate love.*

Summary:   Chakotay and Tom go on an away mission to a toxic planet
and have to depend on each other in a very intimate way to stay alive.
 

Oh fuck, he was masturbating.

When he barged into the bathroom, the most he he'd hoped for was to
catch Chakotay nude, but this, holy shit, this was better.   Tom
could work with this.

Someone once said that the way to a man's heart was through his
stomach but Tom had a different take on the old adage.  He believed
in feeding another organ entirely.

"What do you want?"  Chakotay ask hoarsely, his arm stilling under
the cloudy water.

"To clean up and get this damn fucking plug out of my ass."  He
replied casually pretending not to notice the wet floor or the three-
inch waves in the tub.  "You don't mind do you?"

"No, of course not."  Chakotay brought his arms up out of the bath
and stretched them out along the back of the tub.  "Why should I?"
He finished with a defiant tilt to his dimpled chin.

Yeah why should you?

"Okay don't mind me, you just enjoy your bath."  Tom said cheerfully
as he undid his belt and shimmied out his toga.

He heard Chakotay gasp at his nudity and smiled inwardly.  The older
man may not like him personally but he did have a thing for his
body.  Tom wondered how long it would take for an arm to slip back
under the water.  Perhaps he could give it a little incentive?

Arching his back as if to stretch out a kink, Tom balled his fists at
the base of his spine and groaned long and low in his throat.

"Oh yeah, that feels good."  He cracked his neck and then lifted a
leg up on the lid of the closed toilet.  "And now for this bloody
thing."

Leaning one forearm against the marble wall in over the commode, Tom
reached around behind to grasp the dildo's disk firmly in the fingers
of his free hand.  He pulled it out an inch and stopped.

"Oh fuck, that feels kind of nice.  It tingles, ooh-aah."  He moaned
as he twisted the plug.  He peeped over at Chakotay for a reaction,
nothing.  Both of the commander's hands were still visible.  "Did it
feel that way for you Chak?  Nice and tingly?"

"No."  The commander stated firmly.

Liar, Tom thought.  He remembered the quiet simpers Chakotay made as
Tom removed his plug.  He shrugged his shoulders and pulled his out
another inch.

"Ah fuck, you sure?"  He pushed it back in.  "Oh yeah!"

He wasn't acting here.  It really did feel good and with Chakotay
watching him well, that made it even better.  Tom looked down to see
his little buddy fully awake and nodding in agreement.  Whoakay, it
was show time!

Turning his body slightly so he could see Chakotay while he worked,
Tom licked and bit at his lower lip as moved the dildo in short drawn-
out stokes in and out of his ass.  He oohed and aahed every once and
a while for effect and let his lids fall to half-mast so the
commander wouldn't realized he was being observed.  It worked.

Chakotay's eyes became mere slits as he watched with great interest
as Tom fucked himself.  His hands however were still glued to the rim
of the tub.  Tom was really going to have go all out here to unstick
those stubborn appendages.  Maybe it was time to break a rule.

Tom closed his eyes all the way, sacrificing his view for the sake of
his performance and began an erotic conversation with himself.

"Mmm yeah, that's good babe, like that oh yeah Chak, do it, oh fuck
yeah!"

He went on and on talking to the dildo as if it was the man in the
tub while pumping it faster and faster within himself.  The exertion,
the strain of it and the undeniable pleasure of it caused a sweat
break out over his breast and brow.  If Chakotay didn't succumb soon,
he would.

Gratefully, Tom heard a splash and opened his eyes in anticipation
only to be disappointed.  Chakotay's head popping up from the bath
had generated the sound and those blasted hands were stroking all
right but only the water from his face and hair.  They were nowhere
near where they should be at this point in Tom's presentation.

Fuck, he had a good mind to throw the plug at him and would have only
now he was the one with eye candy.  Without knowing it Tom bet,
Chakotay was putting on his own show.  Tom pulled the plug from his
ass, tossed it on his sodden toga and sat down on the closed lid of
the toilet with his knees apart to watch.

Chakotay's glistening chest, so silky smooth and radiant flexed as he
raised his strong arms to skim the excess water from his spiky
hair.   Dusty rose nipples peeped up from the waterline when his
reached extended to the back of his neck.  The dark brooding eyes
that Tom had been trying to catch the attention of, fluttered closed
as he bent his head back into the movement.

As Chakotay rested quietly in that position with his arms butterflied
out from either side of his head, Tom masturbated noisily not caring
about how easily the older man had turned the tables on him.

Letting his breath exhale in loud choking gasps from his lungs, he
squeezed and tugged at his rigid cock.  When Chakotay sucked the
sweat away from his upper lip, he couldn't take it anymore.  Tom
threw his head back and came with a muffled cry.

"Oh-ah, aa-ah, Cha, ah, ah oh Cha."

He thought he might have mumbled the other man's name, but wasn't
sure.  Nothing he was doing now was scripted or being done
consciously.   He was just reacting, being himself without all the
bells and whistles.

Lifting his head from the cold marble Tom, a sweaty, come covered
mess eyed the steaming water.  Right now it seemed more attractive
than man sitting in it.  He stumbled to the edge of the tub.

"Do you mind if I join you Chak?"

********

"No, of course not."  He answered with a calm he didn't feel.

Tom sighed dramatically as he slipped into the tub and eased
down on the stairs across from him.  Under the water his legs felt
the swish as the younger man's feet braced themselves on the ledge he
was sitting on.  If Chakotay parted his thighs another inch he would
bump them.  He was trapped.  He was about to make comment on it when
Tom's head disappeared under the water.

"Ah fuck that feels better."  He said as he resurfaced.

Tom gave him a boyish smile and then shook his head like a dog.  When
Chakotay lifted his arm to block the flying water droplets, the Tom
laughed and pressed his hips with his ankles.  Chakotay would have
stood to escape the hold but that would have revealed the throbbing
erection he hadn't been able to lose since Tom had caught him with
his hand on it.

He'd been embarrassed naturally but that hadn't lasted long.  When
the younger man had begun fucking himself with the butt plug and
moaning his name, he'd forgotten his shame, well almost.

Even while Tom was driving him insane with lust, he had held on to
some decorum.  Held on, yes to the back of the tub like it was a
lifeline, his mind chided him.  Chakotay had so wanted to stroke
himself in time with Tom's thrusts, that when his grip did fail, he
had doused his head hoping the warm water would help ease his rapidly
fraying nerves and spiraling arousal.

It had worked.  When he emerged from the water he felt calmer but his
respite was short lived.  When the tenor of Tom's moans changed and
he came whispering his name, oh spirits that had been worse than when
he shouted it.   It was tender, more personal, almost, almost . . .
loving?

"You're incredible you know."  Tom said snapping him out of a
dangerous line of thought.

"I am?"

Tom moved his feet to the top his thighs and dug his toes into his
hips.  Chakotay's unsatisfied cock quivered under the water at the
rough caress.  He prayed Tom wouldn't notice the ripples.

"Yeah Chak, and you make me feel incredible."

"No." He protested not sure if he was talking about the compliment or
the hip massage.

"Is that so hard to believe?  Shit, I just came from looking at you
or didn't you notice?"

"From looking at me?"  Oh damn, he didn't need to know that.  Not now
when he was so close to the edge.  His balls had lifted and it had
nothing to do with buoyancy.  He bit the inside of his cheek hoping
the pain would distract him.

"Not that's anything new.  I whack off to your image all the time.
In the shower, in bed," Tom laughed and Chakotay felt it all the way
down to his hips.  "Shit once I even did it in a booth in
Sandrine's.  You were in civvies.  You know that black sweater you
wear with the tight jeans?"

Chakotay nodded mutely, too strung out do anything else.  His chest
was hurting and his jaw was sore from trying to hide his quickening
breaths.  Soon he knew he would begin trembling.

"Yeah well it was the way those jeans hugged your ass that set me
off.  I had already been thinking about going home and jerking off to
you when you strode in looking all hot and sexy like and sat at the
bar.  Man, I knew right then I wasn't going to make it to my cabin so
I grabbed a booth real quick.  Thank god it was dark cause it was
very obvious what I was doing."

"Tell me."  Chakotay rasped out.  He knew it was going to send him
over but he asked anyway.   He had been so riled up about the way he
felt about Tom Paris, he had not considered the way Tom Paris might
feel about him.  He wanted no, needed to hear it.   Maybe he could
come quietly while the younger man was involved in his tale.

"My ass had no sooner hit the bench when my hand was in my pants
whacking my dick.  Oh it felt so good to actually be doing it while
you were there in the room.  I knew it was making me a little crazy
but it didn't stop me.  I just bit my lip from screaming out your
name and fucked my fist until I," Tom paused and peered at him with
what suddenly looked like incredibly long blond lashes.  "Chak are
you okay?"

"Ah, ah, ah," Was all he was able to manage.  It was happening and he
wasn't, as he foolishly believed going to be able to hide it.  He
braced his arms along the back of the tub, arched his spine lifting
his ass from the bench and knocking Tom's feet from his hips.  This
was going to be a hard one.

"Oh shit Chak!"  He heard Tom exclaim as his jaw clenched and every
muscle in his body went rigid.

It was pain and pleasure mixed as molten lava surged from his balls
and erupted from his cock.  He knew he must be screaming because
could hear Tom cooing and shushing him in his ear.

"It's okay babe, it's okay, it's okay."  Came the soft words.

Finally the worse of the orgasm passed and he began to relax his
strained body.   He was exhausted and limp and if Tom hadn't been
there to hold him under his arms, he would have slipped under the
water and drowned.

"My god babe, you're spectacular."  The younger man pulled him
tighter and kissed his tattoo.

"Don't."  He wheezed and tried to move away.

"And incredible," Another soft kiss, this one on his cheek closer to
his mouth. "And so fucking beautiful."

Tom's touch was more intimate than he could handle right now.
Everything, his brain, his skin, everything was over sensitized.  He
needed time to process what had just happened but the younger man's
gentle caresses were turning his brain to mush and preventing him
from thinking straight.

"Don't what, babe?"  Tom nuzzled his face with his and
whispered.  "Hold you, love you, what?"

Love?  Oh no, don't dangle that before my starving soul.  It would be
too easy to fall for this pale beauty and incredibly hard to lose
it.  He was only one of the many, he reminded himself.

"Just don't!"  Chakotay tore the fawning blond's arms from his neck
and finding new strength in his fear, practically jumped the tub.
Dripping wet he turned back to him.  "I can't do this just yet.  It's
too much."

"You want the rules back, don't you?"  Tom said sadly as he rose and
waded out of the water to stand before him.

"Yes, no, no not exactly.  I mean I need distance, the rules gave me
that before but I don't think they'll work now.  My desire for you
isn't a secret, not after what you've seen me do but to rush head
long into it, I'm not sure if I can do that."

"You want to go slow."

Or not all, it would be safer and gentler on his pride.

"Please, for now."

"But why?"  Tom pressed the length of his wet body against
his.  "This is good between us Chak.  You feel it as much I do."

"Everyone feels it for you Tom.  I'm only one of the many."

"What's that suppose to mean?"

The younger man pulled away looking genuinely shocked and hurt.

"I'm your commanding officer, I can't be one of your lovers."

"Then be the only one."  Tom cooed as he lifted a hand to stroke his
cheek.  Chakotay shied away before the tender touch reached him.  He
needed to keep his mind clear.

"No, ah spirits.  I can't decide this right now.  We have a mission
to attend to and I have to make that my main priority.   Sex with you
will have to wait."

"For another six hours, you mean."

"Tom,.-"

"Sorry Chak, I'm okay with this really."  Tom absurdly stood at
attention.  The overly formal action was made all that more
ridiculous because he dripping wet and buck-naked.  "Okay what's our
next move?"

"We get dressed and go to dinner in the main hall."

"And look for Kryptonite."  Tom grinned.

Chakotay was amazed by his powers of resilience.  He himself was
having a hard time keeping it together while this young buck was
snapping back as if nothing personal had just passed between them.
Chakotay paused.  Maybe that was it.  Perhaps it had not been
personal for Tom.

His initial problem with getting close to the pilot was becoming
another faceless body to fuck.  Chakotay liked to mean more than that
to his lovers.  He was usually monogamous and spent a great deal of
time with them however with Tom that was not the case.

On Voyager, the younger man had many lovers and gave them little
notice when they were not in his bed.  They weren't special to him,
just a means to an end.

Tom liked sex and now here he was on a planet where he, Chakotay was
the only fare.  It wasn't personal.  Chakotay was just all there was
and Tom was making the most of it.  The words of love and caring were
just part of the game.  It didn't make Tom a bad person but it did
define him.

Now what Chakotay had to decide was whether or not he wanted to
play.  For him, it would be a dangerous recreation to become involved
in and a harder one to stop.  He would have to be very careful.

"Babe?"  Tom said pulling him out his thoughts.

"Yes and then figure out a way to attain some for ourselves."

"Sounds good babe, let's go."

"Tom about the nickname,"

"Hey you asked me to go slow and I'm going to but you've gotta leave
me something."

"I understand but babe?"

"It's either that or sweetheart."

"Babe it is."

********

Okay so a full on frontal assault wasn't the way to Chakotay's
heart.  It scared him, spooked him almost.

Chakotay was afraid to let go with him.  He wanted him, as Tom had
guessed and was quite frankly ecstatic about but there was a barrier
of some kind keeping him from showing it.   Which didn't mean Tom was
going to give up.  It just meant changing tactics.

Chakotay had almost panicked when Tom had tried to touch him in the
bath because he had been too sexually aggressive.  Nothing else made
sense so that meant the display with the plug had been an incredible
miscalculation.

Chakotay hadn't come until they had been talking quietly in the tub.
Although he really wasn't sure what had set the other man off, he
knew it hadn't been his flagrant performance previous. It had been
something subtler and learning from that mistake, he would act
accordingly.

Tom would wait for Chakotay come on to him.  That was, he decided the
new way to his heart.

As Tom considered his next line of attack or non-attack more aptly,
he dressed in the clean toga Tuvok had beamed down.  This one a had a
shiny blue edge to off set the white but it was still embarrassingly
short.  The security chief, come fashion consultant had also sent an
array of jewelry which Tom had spread out on the bed trying to figure
out what went where.

"Problem?"  Chakotay said over his shoulder.

Tom resisted the urge to turn and kiss the mouth so close to his ear.

"Okay I understand the rings, they go on the fingers and the silver
belt is self explanatory but what about the rest?"

"The large silver bands with the blue crystals go around your biceps
and the matching choker around your neck."

"It looks like a dog collar."  He complained.

"Everyone in the market was wearing one.  These people like adorning
themselves with pretty things.  We need to fit in Tom."

That was true.  The natives of this planet were certainly decked out
to the nines when it came to jewelry and there had been about a
million booths catering to all sorts of earrings, bands, rings,
whatever in the marketplace.

"Great, sure I get that but why aren't you wearing one?"

Looking dignified in his longer toga trimmed in gold, Chakotay
fingered the beaten gold circlet that lay loosely on his
collarbones.  It matched the bands on his upper arms.  The older man
wore no rings.

"It's only a different style.  Here," Chakotay picked up the collar,
snapped it around his neck and moved him over to the mirror above the
fainting couch.  "See, it looks good."

With a critical eye, Tom assessed his appearance, which was no easy
task what with Chakotay standing so close behind him.  His dark male
handsomeness outshone his washed out feminine appearance.

"Oh terrific, now combined with the dress, I look like a girl."

"You don't."  Chakotay brushed the nape of his neck above the clasp
with his thick fingers and Tom shivered.  "You look every inch a man
Tom Paris."

As Tom turned slowly, the older man's hand stayed stationary.  Warm
fingers trailed seductively from his nape, along his jaw to his
chin.  A thumb kneaded his bottom lip.  Tom opened his mouth and let
it in.  Chakotay gasped but did not remove the digit.

Pretending the thumb was something much larger, Tom swirled his
tongue around it, sucked lightly and waited for Chakotay's reaction.
This was subtle, wasn't it?  Oh shit, he hoped so cause he was really
liking Chakotay's thumb in his mouth.

"Spirits Tom," Chakotay removed his wet thumb and rubbed it over
Tom's lips.  Tom kissed and licked it dry.  "You make it very hard
for me to remain professional."

Three cheers for hard.

"Sorry babe but you can't touch me and expect me not to respond."

"I know."  Chakotay whispered softly.  He sounded almost sad to Tom's
ears.  "That's just they way you are."

"The way I am?"  What was that supposed to mean?  Shit and people
thought he was hard to figure out.   Chakotay's wavering libido was
difficult enough to get a handle on, he didn't need cryptic
statements to add to the confusion.

The older man dropped his hand.

"Let's go to dinner, shall we?"

Oh sure why the fuck not, Tom thought.   At least food was one thing
he did understand.

********

"Very pretty stones."

Chakotay look across the communal dining room, following Tabun's
gaze.  It landed to where Tom sat twinkling blue with a bevy of
admirers both men and women around a large round table.  Chakotay
looked back to his dinner companion.

Upon entering the large hall, Tom and he had been separated, as was
the custom.  It promoted friendship Tabun had informed him.

"They're called sapphires.  Would you like to acquire some?"  He
asked knowing what his price would be.  Tabun was dripping in
Kryptonite.

"Perhaps but I'm afraid they wouldn't look quite was well on my serif
as they do yours."  Tabun topped up his wine glass.   "He's very
unusual Chakotay."

Tom in his short skirt was a serif, a traveling companion for older
well-established businessmen.   It was yet another lesson from Tabun,
who was turning out to a wealth of information.

"How so?"  He asked hoping to learn more.

"His age for one.   How old is he?"

Oh spirits how old `was' Tom?

"Thirty five."  Chakotay guessed.

"Really?  I let go my last serif when he turned thirty."  Tabun
leered at him.  "He must be very talented to keep a hold of for so
long."

"Yes."  He replied, again guessing although he would very likely know
the answer for certain before they left this planet.

"And he is an exceptional beauty. You are a very lucky man
Chakotay."  Tabun emptied his glass and refilled it with the ruby
liquid from the decanter.

Drinking it seemed was serious business during dinner.  Chakotay
himself had partaken very sparingly.  He had enough to muddle his
mind.  He didn't need alcohol to fog it further.  Tom however, he
could see from here was not so concerned and was enjoying his wine.

"Tell me, does he service your wife also?"

"I have no wife."  Chakotay said distractedly.  He was concentratng
on Tom.  Some of the women where actually stroking the blond fur of
his chest.  They didn't seem interested at all in the blue stones Tom
was wearing.

Tabun slapped his arm and laughed heartily.  "Ah again you are a
lucky man."

As his dinner companion went on to describe his own not so marital
bliss, Chakotay kept his eyes possessively on the laughing blond
across the courtyard.

Tom was mingling like he was.  Gathering information to help the
mission but Chakotay found himself wishing the young lieutenant
wasn't so dedicated to duty.  Much too many people paid attention to
him, just like they did on Voyager.

He didn't want to think what was going to happen when they got back
to the ship.  If he thought it was bad now watching strangers with
Tom what would it be like on Voyager?  That's where Tom's lovers or
the rabble as he tended to think of them, were.  Not here on this
alien planet where sex with the population was forbidden.  How would
Chakotay be able stand sitting in Sandrine's knowing that if Tom
wanted to, he could pick and chose from any of the herd and take them
to his bed?

Chakotay stopped himself.  Was he jealous?  Oh spirits, he was.

Here he was almost fifty having adolescent feelings about a man he
couldn't even honestly call his lover or boyfriend if he wanted to
stay in the same puerile vein.

Dammit he couldn't even make up his mind if he wanted the younger man
and yet he found himself resenting others that did.  How messed up
was that?

He laughed aloud at the ridiculousness of it and Tabun ceased his
ramblings and looked at him oddly.

"Forgive me Tabun." Tired of taking himself so seriously, Chakotay
took a long drink of his wine.  "Now about those sapphires?"

That fact the he had started drinking seemed to smooth over his
inappropriate outburst and Tabun smiled broadly.

"I know a few people who might be interested."  Tabun filled Chakotay
glass and was impressed when he drained it.  "And what would you like
in return?"

Chakotay pointed a lazy finger, at the yellow stones in his new
friend's circlet.

"Ah, jaselmers, yes they would go well with your serif's hair.  Will
you be here tomorrow?  Yes?  Good, I will see you then.  Have a good
night Chakotay."  Tabun rose and glanced over at Tom.  "A very good
night."  He bid once more then left.

Feeling proud for making a good bargain, Chakotay toasted himself and
finished his wine.  A pleasant buzz filtered through his body,
relaxing him and easing the tension of the last few days.  He poured
himself another glass and looked again over at his would be boyfriend.

That beautiful sometimes innocent, sometimes mischievous younger man
wanted him.  For how long he would continue to want him, Chakotay
wasn't sure.  It might be only until they returned to Voyager and the
herd.

Chakotay took another drink and swished his wine through his teeth a
few times before swallowing.  Yes, back to the herd.

Here and now, Tom was alone with only him for sexual release.  Well
it was a little more than that thanks to the planet's poisonous
atmosphere but it didn't change the fact that it was he, Chakotay not
the Delaney sisters, Gerron Tem, Ayala or any other of his admirers
that the younger man could turn to right now.

Tom needed him and only him, so why wasn't he accepting that gift?
Because he might get hurt?  He was hurting now.  Because his precious
pride might be sacrificed?   Big deal, he'd already lost a large
portion that when he'd come like an erupting volcano in front of him
in the tub.

So what was left?  What was holding him back?  Nothing he decided.
Not some arbitrary time schedule, Chakotay didn't need no stinking
time schedule, nothing, nada, zip.

Standing, he finished his wine and slammed the glass back down on the
table.

It was Tommy time.

TBC