In answer to Isa's challenge on Jupiter Station. Less
than 36 hours after Voyager's return to the Alpha quadrant, Tom
vanishes. Why? Was he alone? Does anybody know anything about
it? Most importantly, what will Chakotay do about it? Let's see.
"Okay so who's this Wil Riker?"
first officer." Curiously Harry blushed as he
"I know that."
Tom replied, his patience wearing thin. "What is he
"An old friend, I guess. They seemed, ah close."
What does that mean!" Several heads in Ten Forward turned
at his outburst. Tom didn't care but Harry did.
please keep your voice down?" Harry didn't start talking
again until he agreed with an exasperated nod to his head. "I don't
know how close. Why don't you ask your husband?"
Tom flustered as looked out the large view port
that lined one wall of the establishment.
not talking to him, right? Geez Tom, that's pretty
weird. You just married him, and not you're not speaking?"
Harry get it? He looked from the stars whizzing past
and glared at his not so bright friend.
"He `married' me to free me from Lutan Harry, that's all."
"But I thought he liked you." Harry still looked confused.
he likes what I do to him. There's a difference." Tom
his fruit juice as he waited for understanding to hit the
ensign. It was taking longer than he thought. Harry's face was
screwed up like he was rebalancing the warp intermix formula and it
hurt. When he finally said something, it wasn't what Tom expected.
"Do you like
what he does to you?" Harry asked shyly, his earlier
blush finding new life.
"What?" Tom almost breathed his fruit juice through his nose.
"I, I mean he's not a woman and you're a man,"
"Are you asking
me what it's like to have a male lover?" He would
have said `to fuck a man' but poor Harry was already beet red. "Why?"
"I have a date."
"With a man?
Oh fuck Harry, I leave you alone for one minute and
you go and change sexual preferences on me."
Tom was joking
but he half meant it. Ever since he'd returned to the
Alpha quadrant things had been upside down. He kisses Chakotay and
incredibly the older man likes it, Lutan the wacko kidnaps him,
Chakotay marries him to save him but doesn't really mean it and now
Harry has a date with a man. The universe was spinning out of
control and he was having a hard time holding on.
"I didn't say
anything was going to happen. But he's very good
looking and you like men and you're my friend, so I'd thought I just
see what's it's like."
Oh god, Harry
was following his example. Well almost. Flattered
that Harry was seeking his advice, Tom checked his problems by the
door and gave his friend his full attention.
"Just kissing on the first date huh?"
Harry squeaked doing his best impression of a shocked
virgin. "I'll have to kiss him?"
"No Harry. You don't have to do anything, okay? Nothing, nada."
"Just like most of the women I date."
Tom did a double
take. Did Harry just make a joke? His friend was
smiling at him from across the table and Tom thought yeah, he did but
he was also doing more than that. He was also trying to cheer his
best friend up by taking his mind off his problems. There was more
to Harry Kim than meets the eye. God he loved this man.
"So who's the
guy?" Tom asked casually not sure if there was a real
date or not.
"So are you
excited about going home? You know it's not everyone
who gets to use the Fleet's flagship as a taxi service."
And one of many he'd been contemplating before Wil
dragged him from his cabin for a drink in Ten Forward. They entered
the turbo lift.
Wil said to the computer and then to him, "Well you've
got three days to come up with an answer."
"I don't understand
why they're letting me go home at all. For what
I've done, I should be court martialed."
"We all should
be," Wil countered. "But they've decided since we
saved the Federation's golden boy, to look the other way. No harm,
"Computer halt lift!" Chakotay called to Wil's surprise.
"Are you going
to take advantage me in the lift now Commander?" He
asked his surprise turning to amusement. Chakotay ignored his
"Have you wondered
why the Federation brass didn't officially ask us
to find Tom? Why we had to go all cloak and dagger to get him back?"
"Well I suppose
to cover their asses. If we screwed up, they could
claim non-involvement and it wouldn't threaten the treaty they have
with Ligon II. Those vaccines they make are pretty important
"Yes I realize
that but how did they know Tom was on Ligon II in the
first place? Hell we didn't even know until we'd tracked the ion
Wil didn't answer but looked at him with his brows furrowed.
"And what if
we didn't do anything about it? Starfleet Security
hadn't even been investigating his disappearance, oh they knew he was
gone, I'm reasonably sure of that, Tom did miss his parole hearing."
they were going to just let him stay missing? Why the
hell would they do that? The kid's the goddam Fleet's new poster
"But what was
he before? A convict, a traitor, a drunk," Chakotay
took a deep breath. "And a whore." He said in a rush. That one
was tough. He shook it off and continued. "How long do you think
it would have been before the press brought up Tom's past? There's
not a few people that would be embarrassed by that."
Some of it hurts yeah, but that was the past. It's over. I
love him for what he's become now despite or maybe because of all the
things he's had to do to survive. He's brave, he's strong and very,
"Funny, that's how I would have described you."
wanted him gone and gone for good. All they had to do
was wait a day. If we hadn't tracked him right away, we would have
never found him, nobody would have. Ligon II isn't all that
technologically advanced, he would have been stuck there."
"That's pretty heartless Chakotay. Who would do that?"
"I have an idea."
"The same person who's trying to annul my marriage."
get mad, I know you don't like him but I kinda do. I'd
just like to find out how much, okay?"
Riker, the man was his bloody nemesis. First Chakotay
and now Harry. What was with this guy? Tom looked over at Harry
who was looking at him with a pained expression on his normally
pleasant face. Oh shit. His friend was waiting for his approval.
For two short seconds Tom thought seriously about telling Harry to
forget Riker but decided he enjoyed sleeping nights.
Tom replied with a smile that killed him. "What exactly did
you want to know about fucking a man?" He offered going the extra
mile for his best friend. Harry blushed at his bluntness. Maybe
this could be fun after all.
"I don't know."
Harry fiddled with his drink. "Okay I know about
the mechanics of it and some of the terms, I've been reading but how
do you chose who gets to be the, the.-"
"The one doing the fucking?"
gets to be the top? Wil's bigger and older, does that
mean he does me?"
"I thought you were just going to kiss?" Tom teased.
"Tom." Harry replied back not amused.
well that depends. Size and age don't really matter.
Riker might like getting it up the butt but for the first time, I
think you should bottom, that way you can see, or feel rather the
other side of the coin."
"Do you like it? Being the bottom, I mean."
Shit, he couldn't believe he was going to say this to Harry of
all people. His friend knew he liked men but they didn't talk about
the details. They had never delved that deeply. "Yeah, I like to be
fucked." Oh god was he, Tom Paris blushing?
"It feels good
then? Why?" His friend asked calmly as if he was
asking Tom why he liked ice cream on his apple pie. Shit, Harry was
handling this better than he was.
mostly physical. When someone hits your prostate, that
the, the ah gland.-" Tom started to show Harry with his hands, not
exactly sure where he was going to put them, damn this was tough,
until Harry gave him an impatient look.
"I know what it is."
When you get touched there, whether it's with his
fingers or his cock it feels fantastic but sometimes it can be even
more than that. Having someone you care for fill you, moving in and
out of you and taking pleasure in you well, that can be really kind
of wonderful, special almost."
"That's the way it is for you with the commander, isn't it?"
Tom answered realizing that was exactly what he was
explaining. How good it felt with Chakotay. Oh god how he wanted to
feel that again.
"Sorry." Harry said softly seeing his distress.
Tom pinched the space between his eyes briefly, took a
deep breath through his nose and then continued on. "Look Har, the
bottom line, pardon the pun, is to just do what feels good and don't
do anything with Riker you don't want to, okay?"
Harry took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "Okay Tom."
Yep, there was certainly more to Harry Kim than met the eye.
Harry Kim was a dead man.
Tom was holding
hands with the corpse to be at a table for two by the
window. Chakotay made towards the two men but was halted mid-step by
a strong hand on his arm.
at the bar." Wil informed him in no uncertain terms.
Chakotay looked to his friend who was not smiling as per normal.
"No buts, just
sit your ass down Chakotay or we're leaving." Wil
growled as he physically sat him in one of the tall stools along the
by his friend's uncharacteristic behavior, Chakotay
relented and did as he was told. He stared at his husband's table
as Wil ordered them drinks. Harry had let go of Tom's hand but that
hadn't, in his opinion taken the ensign out of the danger zone just
"Oh for christ
sake Chakotay, stop glaring at them. You're
embarrassing me and scaring the hell out of everyone in the bar."
Wil set a beer in front of him. "Shit, you look dangerous enough in
all that leather."
"He's with my husband Wil."
"Yeah I can
see that. What? You expect him to flip Tom over the
table and do him right here in Ten Forward?"
"No of course not."
down and enjoy your drink. You don't see Tom getting all
bent out of shape because you're here with me do you?"
"He hasn't noticed us yet."
"He's not even speaking to you and now you think he's
going to come over and whip my butt for have a drink with you?
Chakotay looked at his grinning companion, realizing the
bastard was pulling his leg. "But right about now I wouldn't mind
that." He grinned back.
Wil took a long draught of his beer, wiped his mouth
and leveled his gaze at him. "Now about that not talking bit. How
long are you going to let golden boy get away with it?"
"I can't force him to speak to me."
The annulment hasn't gone through yet. He is still your
"He thinks it was a ploy to free him from Lutan."
"Wasn't it?" Wil asked lightly before taking another sip of beer.
sharply at his friend. The man was playing devil's
advocate, he knew that and he also knew why. He was fueling him for
a fight, getting his ire up and making confess his true motivations.
"No it wasn't. Lutan was only a convenient excuse."
"No shit. Now let's look at where we stand shall we?"
"Wil, I know.-" Chakotay started.
"No just shut
up and listen. You're in love, and low and behold
lucky you, you just happened to be married to the one you're in love
with. That's a good thing. Now the bad thing is, the one you're
in love with doesn't know it and in fact," Wil poked in chest for
emphasis. "In fact Chakotay he thinks you married him just to save
his sweet little, and it is really sweet, ass."
about the ass part. Anyway, I'd bet my command that if
you told him how you felt in a letter or shit, just by breaking down
the doors to his quarters, he'd start talking to you again."
"OK fine, say I do that. What if he doesn't feel the same way?"
"He does." Wil said flatly.
"But what if
he doesn't? Then I come off as a pathetic old man who
after one night with beautiful younger man, has thrown everything to
the wind and has foolishly fallen in love."
point would be?" Wil said blithely over the top of his
"Wil, I don't want be anything less than perfect in Tom's eyes."
can do that really, but I'd imagine, if he loves you,
you are already."
"If he loves me. It all hinges on that, doesn't it?"
"Nothing's free Chakotay."
In what seemed like a long time ago, Tom had said
that to him once. They'd been in bed with each other's come all
over their stomachs, cuddling and joking. Oh spirits, he wanted
that time back again. He turned to Wil and said decisively,
"I'll do it."
had quickly hustled him out of Ten Forward when he'd seen
Chakotay with Riker, he had dropped him off in his quarters and then
left to change for his date. Tom, following a similar pattern had
dressed appropriately for his own evening and had stripped from his
uniform into a pair of non-descript gray sweats.
in front of the view port in his cabin, Tom looked to
the only place he could lose himself in, the stars. The twinkling
orbs had never let him down, they always shone brightly and they had
never, ever hurt him. No, the celestial beauties only soothed and
didn't damage like the admiral and the commander did.
betrayal while it wounded him deeply was a pain he'd
been sensitized to years ago, but Chakotay's was fresh and raw.
"And as always
Tom Paris, it's all your fault." He said to his
With a kiss
he had awakened a new found passion in the older man.
He had hoped it was for him alone but unfortunately it hadn't been.
Chakotay's intimacy with the Enterprise's first officer in the bar
had shown him that.
All he'd done
is open the door for Chakotay to explore a new side to
sexuality and sensuality. And if he had been there for him instead
of Riker, it would have been Tom guiding him over the threshold but
no, he'd been too busy blaming Chakotay for not loving him. He
should have been satisfied with being his lover and not his love.
His door chime
rang and Tom in his misery forgot to screen his
visitor's identity. He called out permission to enter and turned.
"That is not going to do at all, young man."
Oh this was
too good. Maybe life wasn't so bad after all if it
handed him this opportunity. Tom placed his hands on his hips and
"Well if it isn't the infamous William T Riker."
The wide shouldered
man framing the doorway grinned. "The one and
only, golden boy." Then shoved past him. Tom spun in outrage.
"Who in the hell do you think you are?" He demanded.
Riker faced him still smiling. "Cupid."
"Oh real cute asshole."
"I mean it."
The shit-eating grin faded. "Look kid, I care about
let Riker finished his sentence. He silenced the bigger
man's admission of love for Chakotay with a right cross to his
bearded chin that sent him spinning into the coffee table. The low
glass table shattered when the first officer's bulk slammed on top of
"Get up you
fucking bastard!" Tom screamed at the man sitting on a
pile of safety glass. It felt good hitting the man that had stolen
his husband and he wanted to feel even better by hitting him again.
his hand up to his jaw and worked it back and forth.
Obviously satisfied it wasn't broken, the infuriating grin returned.
"Not bad, kid." He said from his position on the floor.
"Get up and
I'll give you better." Tom challenged with a smile of
"Would it help if I said `uncle'?"
"No. Get up."
"Can I at least ask why you want to beat the shit out of me?"
"Chakotay's why. Now get up."
"Ah, I see you're jealous."
Tom admitted. Why not, it was true and he didn't
care that this over blown buffoon knew it.
love him. I told him you did but I don't think he
quite believes it."
"You, you told him?"
getting up now so we can talk about this, not fight
okay?" Riker got up, stepped from the mess that was his coffee table
and brushed the pebbles of glass from his uniform.
his clenched hands, his curiosity starting become
stronger than his need for revenge.
"Why would you tell him I love him if you want him too?"
Riker placed a hand on his shoulder and laughed. "Not a clue."
He said evenly and then BAM! Riker doubled over as
Tom pulled his fist quickly back from the bastard's gut. He guessed
he had a little revenge in him left over after all.
man looked up from his new slightly bent position. He
"That's the last free one you get golden boy." Riker growled.
Tom flirted briefly with the thought of hitting the
first officer again but his throbbing knuckles talk him out of it.
"Yeah and you
only got those two because Chakotay would kill me if I
hit his precious Tom."
"He called me precious?" Tom couldn't help the smiled that followed.
Riker rolled his eyes. "Damn you're as bad as he is."
"What do you
mean? As bad as he is?" Tom heart was beating fast in
his chest and working it way up into his throat. He needed to know
what Riker was talking about.
"I'll let him answer that."
"Save it kid. There's no time."
"Time?" Now what?
"He'll be here
soon." Wil leaned forward a little cautiously and
sniffed him. "Not bad but if you showered it'd be better."
his shirt from chest to his nose and breathed deeply. He
didn't smell anything.
don't you have anything else to wear. What about
something like that blue number you were wearing planet side? He
Did he tell you that? When did Chak.-" Tom wanted dates
and times but Riker cut him off.
Now move that sweet little ass of yours or I'll kick it in
Dazed and confused,
Tom watched mutely as the first officer left his
cabin. He didn't understand one iota of what had just happened.
Riker wanted him to shower and change into something sexy? For
Chakotay? Why would he want that? Didn't he want him?
to figure out the odd visit, he wandered through the
bedroom and into the bathroom.