Title:  Kiss me Goodbye P7
Author:  Cheryl Forbes
Fandom:  Star Trek:  Voyager, TNG
Pairing:   Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating:  NC 17
Series:  7 of ?
Email for feedback: forbesc@skyia.com
Disclaimer:  Voyager, Enterprise and their crews are the property of
Paramount and not me.  Whatever.

Summary:   In answer to Isa's challenge on Jupiter Station.   Less
than 36 hours after Voyager's return to the Alpha quadrant, Tom
vanishes.  Why?  Was he alone?   Does anybody know anything about
it?   Most importantly, what will Chakotay do about it?   Let's see.
 

Please, please, please answer the door.

Chakotay was on his second round of pleases when the panels slid
open.  He looked up from his communion to see a deity worth praying
for, his husband.

Tom stood motionless in the doorway, neither inviting him nor sending
him away.  His eyes were wide.  Chakotay could see more white than
blue in the precious orbs and his mouth, his beautiful sensuous mouth
was an uneven line, the pink lips trembling as if caught between a
smile and a frown.

"Can I come in?"  He hoped.

Nodding, Tom moved to the side of the door to allow him entrance.
As Chakotay passed him he caught a whiff of soap and something
musky.  Cologne?

The room was dimly lit, the brightest glow coming from the stars
through the view port and soft music was playing, something with
strings, Chakotay didn't recognize the artist.  It was romantic, sort
of like a `yours always' but with atmosphere.

"Chak."  Tom said his voice but a hush behind him.

Chakotay turned, glad the younger man was speaking first because now
that he was finally here, he didn't know quite what to say or how to
start.

"I need to tell you something."  Tom said as he walked up to him, his
blue silk outfit rustling like rice paper.  Chakotay in his
nervousness found himself concentrating on the cut of the simple
tunic and flowing line of the loose trousers, anything to avoid the
intensity of the younger man's eyes.  It stripped him bare right down
to his soul.

"Chak, look at me.  Please."

He lifted his head.   "I am."

"I need to tell you why I kissed you in the closet.  You remember
that night don't you?"

"Yes."  It was the night he'd discovered what he'd been looking for
all his life.  Yes, oh yes he remembered.

"All I had want to do was say thank you but then I panicked."

"Why?"

"Because I thought I was never going to see you again and it scared
me.  The same thing happened on Ligon II, except I reacted a little
more strongly that time."  Tom licked his lips.  "Do you understand
Chak?"

Did he?  He wasn't sure.  Was this a confession or an explanation?
Was Tom telling him he loved him or saying he found comfort in him
when he was frightened?  In honesty he would take either, anything to
have this beautiful man back in his arms but he too was afraid.  Not
of looking the fool, not anymore, his ego had fled the minute he'd
walked over the threshold but of what he would say.  Chakotay didn't
think he could hold Tom again without telling him he loved him.   If
the younger man didn't return his feelings, would that scare him
enough to find comfort in another?

"What do you want from me?"  Chakotay asked needing more
clarification.

"A chance."   Tom said succinctly.  "I don't understand what's going
between you and Riker.   I know he's your friend but," Tom took a
deep breath before continuing.  "All I want is a chance to compete.
A chance to show you how good it can be between us.   You don't have
to keep me as your husband and you don't even have to love me back.
Just let me stay with you."

"You love me?"  Chakotay was pretty sure he'd heard that in the
jumble of words that fell from that exquisite mouth.

Tom nodded and replied softly  "Yeah, for just about forever."  He
continued in an explosive rush.  "But I won't push it on you.  I
don't expect you to fall for me after one fuck.  I know this is real
life and not a fairy tale.  I just.-"

But this was a fairy tale, Chakotay thought as stepped closer to his
now babbling husband.  It had to be.  Where else would the commoner
win the affections of the handsome young prince?

Tom was still explaining, making excuses but Chakotay tuned them
out.  It was time for the happily ever after to begin.

"I love you too Tom Paris."

Framing Tom's face with his hands, Chakotay tilted his head to the
left and kissed him deeply.  For a moment he felt the mouth under his
fight to continue speaking and then a whoosh of warm air rushed down
his throat and into his lungs.  Tom had stopped the fight and was
kissing him back.

The familiar and much missed caress of the younger man's lips against
his welcomed him home and the moist tongue, tasting and sliding along
his made him want to stay.

Chakotay ran his hands down Tom's shoulders to his hands and brought
them around to the small of his back.  He needed to feel his
husband's hard body pressed into his, to feel its heat and rising
passion.  Upon contact, his lover's hands pulled at him roughly,
roamed up and down his back and kneaded his buttocks.   As always the
urgency of Tom's desire made his knees weak and now knowing it was
born of love, it also made him dizzy.   He couldn't do this standing
up.  Chakotay pulled back from the sweet lips.

"We have to lie down."  He panted.

"Yes.  I need you on your back."  Tom growled as he began walking him
backwards not letting go of his ass.

As they moved, something crunched.  Chakotay stopped to look down and
saw the rug was covered with glittering orbs.   Were they walking on
stars?  Tom saw his confused gaze.

"I had a fight with the coffee table.  It lost big time."  He smiled
brightly with a triumph Chakotay didn't understand and then began
pushing him backwards again.  He dismissed the table and let him.  He
had greater mysteries to explore.

Kissing and tripping over each other's feet they made their way to
the bedroom.

********

He was going to make love to Chakotay.

The older man didn't know it yet, but he was about to be claimed and
fucked to the edge of ecstasy and beyond by his husband, Tom Paris.
All the things he'd told Harry about how wonderful it felt to be
taken by someone you love, he was going to make Chakotay feel.  That
was of course if he didn't come in the man's mouth before then.

They'd barely been naked a minute before Chakotay pushed him back on
the bed and dove for his groin.  Placing his forearm across his lower
belly to keep him still, he had begun sucking away at his cock like
there was no tomorrow.

With a determination Tom understood, that dark head bobbed up and
down.  Chakotay wanted to swallow his come.  He been denied before
and was not about to be again.   That assumption was confirmed when
he felt a finger push into his ass.  Oh fuck, his husband may be new
at this but he learned fast.

"Chak stop!"  He screamed as his toes started to curl.

Chakotay lifted his head.  "No, not this time."  He said all the
while continuing to finger fuck his butt.  "I want to taste you Tom
Paris."  His voice was so low, and so deep, it gave Tom chills.

"Please, I promise tomorrow you can wake me up that way but not
tonight.  I do want to come inside of you but not in your mouth."  He
pleaded almost dissuaded by the heat of his husband's smoldering
desire.

The thrusting finger stopped and despite his plans, Tom whimpered and
his cock wept.

"Are you saying you want to fuck me?"

"Yeah babe, I want to make love to you."

Chakotay removed his finger but still held him firm across his hips
with his arm.  As his handsome face screwed up in contemplation, his
free hand cupped his balls and rolled them around in his palm like
worry beads.  It felt good, too good.  Tom's hips were starting to
rise up from the mattress on their own accord.  Shit, if Chakotay
thought like this much longer his request was going to be a mute
point.  So to hasten his husband's decision, Tom gave him something
else to think about.

"That's how I'd like to consummate our marriage."  Tom said knowing
Chakotay would be unable to refuse him now.  It was dirty pool but
shit, all was fair in love in war and this was all about love, wasn't
it?

"I think I'd like to try that Tom."  A sly grin formed.  "Next time."

In a flash, Tom once again engulfed by Chakotay's hot mouth.  He
exhaled sharply.  He had not expected to be refused.  Nobody denied
his wishes in bed.  But then again the man who was devouring his cock
was not anybody, he was his husband yes, but he was also a seasoned
officer and a man of the world.

Chakotay may love him but he could not be toyed with and bent easily
to his will with a few well-placed words.  The big man had more
honour and respect for himself than that.   And as tight lips pulled
at his shaft, Tom remembered that's why he fell in love with him and
let himself go.  He could wait for next time.

Tom found that if he pushed his butt into the mattress, despite the
iron band across his hips, he could dart up a little into the wet
heat of Chakotay's mouth.   He attempted a few experimental thrusts
and when his husband didn't choke, increased his pace to match his
bobs.   It felt incredible.  Why the hell had he'd been fighting this?

"Oh god Chak, that's good, oh fuck babe, oh fuck, oh fuck," And with
a few more jabs into that wonderful moistness, Tom granted his
husband's wish and came.

As his seed spurted out of him, he was dimly aware that Chakotay was
struggling.  He heard gagging sounds and then cool air on his gushing
penis.  Tom used his own hand to pull out the rest of his orgasm and
when he felt Chakotay's head rest on his hip, he used his other to
pet at his soft hair.  Tom was not disappointed the man couldn't
swallow all of his load and gave him brownie points for a good first
try.

"Come up here Chak."  Tom cooed.

"I didn't know it would tickle."   Chakotay remarked lightly once he
was in his arms.  Tom was glad to hear his voice was free of
embarrassment.  He didn't want their love making to be awkward.

"Yeah, but you did good babe, real good."

"Next time I'll do better."   Chakotay grinned and then kissed him,
swirling his tongue around his mouth, its saltiness letting Tom know
he did catch some, if not all of his issue.

"I love you Chakotay."  Tom said when the kiss broke.

"Good because I'm ready to let you show me."

"Now?  Give me a couple of minutes to catch my breath and I'll be all
over that gorgeous bronze body of yours."

"What happened to the vigor of the young?"  His husband teased.

"I'm thirty six Chak, not eighteen."

"And I've still got an erection."

"What does that have to do with anything?"

"Nothing.  Just something to keep in mind."  Chakotay poked him with
said erection.  Tom laughed and hugged him tight.

"Oh god, I married a sex fiend."

"No, you married a man who finds you incredibly sexy, and loves you
very, very much."

Chakotay kissed him and then threw a leg over him.  Now Tom could
really feel his erection.  It was drawing wet circles into his hip.
His husband was horny and begging to be taken.  The thought alone
made his cock twitch with renewed life.

"Hold that thought."

Tom jumped from the bed, belaying his earlier plea of old age and
headed for replicator.

********

"What is that?"  Chakotay propped himself up on his elbows.

"Risan pleasure oil."  Tom walked across the bed on his knees
carrying the dark green bottle carefully with both hands.

"What does it do?"

"Do?  You mean what's it for."  Tom sat back on his heels.

"No, do.  I have a pretty good idea what it's used for."  Chakotay
ran a finger the length of the erection jutting up between Tom's
thighs.  His excitement level climbed when husband actually purred at
the light touch.  "What I want to know is, does it heat up or smell
like lavender?"

"Nope, did you want something like that?"

"No I like the way you smell, I don't want it mixed with anything
else."

"Oh sorry about the musk then."

"That's okay, I got over it."   Chakotay made a mental note to ask
the younger man later why he had been wearing cologne at all `and'
why he'd been dressed to kill when he shown up.  But right now he had
other more pressing things on his mind.

"Are you nervous babe?"  Tom asked as he poured some of the clear oil
into his hand.

"No."  And he was surprised to find he wasn't.  He was about to be
invaded in a way that not long ago would have left him cold but now
as he watched his husband spread the clear gel over his cock, he was
anything but cold.  He was sweating and burning in anticipation.

"Okay here's the deal."  Tom slicked his hands and then placed the
green bottle on the nightstand.   "I know you know how this works
because you've done it to me, but it'll be different for you because
it's your first time.  There might be some pain, it will pass but if
it gets to be too much, tell me."

"I will."  Chakotay smiled at his husband's overly clinical tone.
It would have gone over too if not for the fact Tom's hands were
shaking.

"I mean it Chak.  I won't be offended or hurt.  You know, I think I'd
be more hurt if you didn't tell me, okay?"

"Okay Tom enough with the pep talk. Now fuck me."

The younger man's eyes squeezed shut a moment.

"Oh shit Chak, don't talk to me that way.  It's going be hard enough
for me to hang on just being inside of you."

"You really want this don't you?"  It thrilled Chakotay his husband
wanted him so badly he didn't trust himself with any extra
stimulation.

"Yesss."  Tom hissed as he moved between his opened legs.

Chakotay reached up for him and pulled him in for a kiss.  The
younger man's lips were trembling, as were the finely toned arms that
tented over him.  The long lean body hovered over him just beyond
reach as the kisses turned fervent and needy.  Needing to feel his
lover, Chakotay arched up into him, pressing his throbbing erection
into his groin searching for surcease.  Tom moaned at the contact and
pulled back.

"I'd, oh fuck, I'd say were both ready."  He said between gulping
breaths.

"More than.  Please Tom now."  Chakotay breathed back.

"Okay, okay, okay."  Tom repeated with his chin pressed to his chest
obviously trying to get a hold of his rocketing passion.  Chakotay
stroked the side of his face tenderly as he waited for him to calm
down.

Eventually Tom's breathing evened, it was still shallow but it had
stopped catching, and causing his words to hiccup.  He smiled down
into Chakotay's face.

"You know I'm usually better than this."  He joked.  "Oh god, now's
who's acting like a virgin."

"You're doing good Tom, real good."  Chakotay soothed using words the
younger man had used on him earlier.  The amusement he saw in Tom's
indigo eyes told him he remembered.

"Yeah well, enough of that."

Settling down on one elbow, Tom ran an oil slicked hand down his
belly while bending his head forward to take a hard nipple into his
mouth.  This time it was Chakotay's whose breath hitched.

He didn't know what sensation to concentrate on first.   The teasing
mouth that was licking and sucking at his chest or the warm hand that
had ghosted over his cock, embraced his sac briefly and was now
tracing circles around his anus.  It all felt so wonderful.
Thankfully Tom made the decision for him.

"Kiss me babe."  Tom demanded.

Yes, yes he could do that, he thought in his growing euphoria.
Chakotay opened his mouth to Tom's and as the younger man's tongue
darted into his mouth, a digit slipped into his anus.  It hurt, and
he felt his erection deflate but Tom covered the pain with his
kisses.  Chakotay relaxed into the lips that were now traveling the
length of his neck.

When a second finger joined the first and began moving, Tom's tongue
was tracing his ear.

"That's it babe, just relax, let me inside."  He whispered as his
fingers went deeper.

The gentle intrusion was losing its sting.  He'd supposed because his
body was becoming used to it and it was becoming close to pleasant,
even his lost erection was reacting favourably and becoming firm
again.  Like a massage or relieving an itch, it tingled and left him
with a warm foggy feeling.  He closed his eyes and let his knees fall
further apart.

"Oh fuck you're beautiful." Tom was now not only pumping with his
arm, but with his hips too. "Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful."  He
chanted into the side of his neck.

Chakotay felt like he like he was dreaming, tethered to reality only
by the sound of his husband's voice and touch.  There was no pain,
only pleasing sensation.  He wondered why Tom had screamed like a
banshee when he had been inside of him.  This was a feeling to moan
to, not holler or yell or, or.oh spirits!

A bolt of pure ecstasy shot through his body causing his back to
arch.  Liquid and hot it seethed up his spine to the roots of his
hair and back down again to centre on a place just above his tailbone
deep within him.  It came again, and again in waves and his passive
moans turn into cries of urgent need.   He reached up and grabbed his
husband by the scruff of the neck.

"Tom!"  It was a vow, a question and a plea for more.

"I know, I know."  He said with a sympathetic smile and then removed
his fingers.

In a haze of arousal, Chakotay watched him reposition himself between
his legs.  He reached to the side and took a pillow from the head of
the bed.

"I'm going to place this under your hips so I'll be able to penetrate
you easier, okay?"

"Yes, hurry."  Chakotay clutched at the bed sheets, lifted his body
and Tom slipped the pillow beneath him.  He noticed that in the wake
of his tumultuous arousal, his husband had gained back some of his
control.   His pale body was flushed and sweating but it was no
longer shaking.  Chakotay fell back against the bed, closed his eyes
and waited for the rapture to return.

Soon he felt the head of Tom's cock nuzzling his now stretched anus.
After a few moments of exploration it pierced him.   Again there was
pain but no greater than last time.   He supposed it would have been
worse if Tom's fingers had not done their preparatory dance.

"Okay now Chak, push against me as if trying to expel me."

Chakotay opened his eyes.  "But I want you."  He said a little
desperately.

"Please baby."  Tom was starting to tremble again.  "Please, I want
to move and this will make it easier for both of us.  Oh god baby
please, please just do it."

He didn't see the logic in his husband's request but he could see the
desire in his eyes.  Trusting his husband's superior experience, he
bore down and waited for Tom to fill him but nothing happened.   Tom
didn't move, didn't thrust, nothing.  Frustrated Chakotay stopped
straining and as if by some signal, Tom shot forward burying his cock
in ass to the hilt.

"Yes!"  They screamed together.

Oh spirits, now he understood and that understanding ran even deeper
as Tom began sliding in and out of him in long sure strokes.  The
ecstasy had returned with a vengeance.  However it no long washed
over him waves, rising and receding but piled upon itself, building
higher and higher.

"You okay babe?"  Tom breathed over him.

"Yes."

"Alright I'm going to start moving now."

Start?  Oh spirits, didn't the younger man know he was already?
Chakotay snuck a peek at him to see that Tom's eyes were shut
painfully tight and his stomach muscles were rippling with
uncontrolled reflex.  Tom was so far gone, he hadn't realized he had
started thrusting the moment he had entered him.  Chakotay gave his
assent anyway.

"Oh yeah!"  Tom cried and really started moving.

As the Tom frantically pumped his passion into him, Chakotay fell
back into a rapture made so much sweeter by the knowledge that he was
bringing the same amount of pleasure to the man he loved.

"Oh god, oh god, I can't, I'm going to, oh god, oh god!"  His ever
vocal husband announced.

Chakotay was surprised he heard him at all as his own building orgasm
was rapidly making him blind and deaf.  His beating heart pounded
loudly in his ears and all he could see were stars.  When he felt a
hand on his almost forgotten cock, his senses left him completely.

Like he was convulsing, his body went rigid as his muscles contracted
and his eyes rolled back in their sockets.  Tom screamed louder and
rammed his cock faster into his climaxing form.

Chakotay rode out his orgasm as Tom rode him.  Both were magnificent
glories and when they started to quiet, sensuous cradles of languid
warmth.

In a boneless heap Tom fell on top of him, cocooning him with his
long arms and legs.  Cooling sweat and semen squished between their
bodies creating a vacuum, sealing them together in a bond of love and
spent desire.

With effort Chakotay brought his arms around his limp husband's waist
and kissed small thank yous into his damp temple.   Tom didn't stir
at the gentle touch.  The man was out cold, sleeping deeply.
Chakotay laughed softly accepting that for the rest of the night, he
would have a six foot blond for a blanket.

Any questions he might have and any decisions, and there were some
big ones ahead, would have to wait for tomorrow.  For tonight was
going to forget all of his troubles, the admiral included and sleep
peacefully in his new husband's arms.
 

TBC