Title:  Kiss me Goodbye
Author:  Cheryl Forbes
Fandom:  Star Trek:  Voyager
Pairing:   Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating:  NC 17
Series:  1 of ?
Email for feedback:   forbesc@skyia.com
Disclaimer:  Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount and
not me.   Whatever.

Summary:   In answer to Isa's challenge on Jupiter Station.   Less
than 36 hours after Voyager's return to the Alpha quadrant, Tom
vanishes.  Why?  Was he alone?   Does anybody know anything about
it?   Most importantly, what will Chakotay do about it?   Let's see.

It was good to be home.  Well for the most part anyway.

Chakotay stood outside the Federation's main reception hall shaking
his hundredth hand and saying his hundredth thank you while silently
wishing the welcome home ceremony was over and he could escape to his

He `was' happy to be back in the Alpha quadrant but after one day was
sick to death of well wishes from strangers.  His right arm ached and
his mouth was tired from smiling.  The only thing that kept him going
was knowing that soon he'd be back home on Dorvan V.  Then it would
be his family's turn to complain of sore arms and smiles as he
intended to hug and kiss each and every one of his much missed tribe
until they begged him to stop.   Unfortunately until that time, he
had to endure the flurry of parties and media events foisted upon him
as one of Voyager's returning heroes.

"This sucks doesn't it?"  Whispered a peeved voice in his left ear
that echoed his own sentiments exactly.

Chakotay turned to see an impeccably attired Tom Paris dressed
handsomely in his navel whites.   The dashing young lieutenant was
the media's darling and by the disgruntled look on his face Chakotay
could see it wasn't sitting well with the pilot.

"You'll get no argument from me on that score Lieutenant."

"Yeah well, could I speak to you a moment in private Commander?"

"Now?  We're just about to go in for dinner."

"It'll only take a second.  I promise to have you back before they
serve the first course."

"Very well."  He `could' use a break from all this hubbub.  "But
where?"  The entrance hall was packed with guests.  He couldn't see
where they could possibly catch a few moments alone.

"I grew up here Commander.  By the time I was ten I knew all the
hiding places and by the time I was fourteen I had a reason to use
them, if you know what I mean."  Tom winked and then pulled on his
elbow.  "Come'on."

As the lieutenant led him through the crowd, Chakotay had a brief
vision of Tom Paris as a tall strapping teenager smuggling his
giggling girlfriends into the Federation's main complex so he could,
could.  He stopped the thought.

"How much further is it?"  Chakotay asked instead.

Tom peered sideways at him and grinned.  "Anxious to be alone with me

"No!"   He said a little louder than he intended.   He covered his
outburst quickly with a plausible explanation.  "It's just that we're
the guests of honour tonight and I think we should be on time for our
own party."

"Good one."  Tom laughed then stopped.   "We're here."

`Here' was a bank of tall Argelian ferns in clay pots along the
wall.   He looked at the pilot questionly.  Tom cocked his head and
then parted the fronds.   Behind was a small access panel, its door a
meter and a half high.

"Now lets see if the old codes still work."   Tom tapped the lock
above the doorway a few times and the panel slid open.  He smiled in
triumph.  "I guess maintenance rooms aren't a high security risk.
Now follow me before somebody sees."

Tom deftly stepped over the pots, between the ferns and disappeared
into the dark closet.  Chakotay followed wondering how many others
the pilot had said those words to.

Once they were both inside the tiny room, the panel slid shut and the
lights blinked on.

It was your standard maintenance closet, nothing much to see except
for a mixture of cleaning solvents on shelf along one wall and a mop
leaning in the corner of another.  Yep pretty standard stuff if you
didn't count the Federation's most recent poster boy standing
straight and tall in the middle of its small expanse.  Chakotay
focused on the star of the room.

"Commander," Tom started formally leaving his playful attitude out in
the hallway.  "I just wanted to say what a pleasure it was serving
with you."

"In the middle of a closet?"  Chakotay replied with amusement giving
back a little of what he had gotten earlier.

"On Voyager sir."  Tom replied soberly not taking the bait.  "I know
we didn't get along very well at first and I know most of that was my
fault, but I'd like to think over the years we passed that and became
comrades and maybe even friends."

"We're friends."  Chakotay granted.  Not like you and Harry he
thought but we don't lash each other with verbal insults anymore, so
I guess that makes us friends.

Tom's eyebrows rose.  "Yes, well good."  He said slowly.  "Yes that's
good."  He said a little quicker and then stopped.   Tom shuffled his

"It was a pleasure serving with you too Lieutenant."  Chakotay
offered trying to break the growing silence that was rapidly becoming
uncomfortable.  "Was there anything else?"

"Ah, I guess not.  I just wanted you to know how I felt.   With all
the bullshit going on, I thought I might not get a chance to say how
important you are to me before you left and, and you are, and, and oh
what the fuck!"

Before Chakotay knew what was happening, Tom grabbed his shoulders
and kissed him.  And it was not the untried kiss of an adolescent.
The eager mouth that was deliciously working his was well seasoned
and knew exactly when to suck, when to nip and how much pressure to
apply.  Chakotay responded to the lieutenant's expertise and parted
his lips.

"Oh fuck," Tom breathed into his mouth before sliding in his tongue.

A hot wetness invaded him, lapped at his gums, caressed the roof of
his mouth and then finally found his own warm organ and swirled
around it.  Chakotay's knees weakened with desire and he had to clasp
the younger man by the waist to keep from falling.   He was not
embarrassed that Tom could now feel the evidence of his arousal
pressed into his hip.

However the contact broke something in the pilot and he suddenly
pulled back.

"Oh shit."  His eyes were so dark, Chakotay couldn't see the blue in
them anymore.   "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, oh shit I'm sorry."

In a rush Tom brushed passed him, activated the lock and vanished out
the door.

Out of breath and achingly hard, Chakotay fell against the far wall
of the closet with his arms out stretched.   Leaning against the cold
concrete he tried to get his get his bearings.   Once he felt like he
wouldn't collapse in a heap, he straightened and brought his fingers
up to his lips.

Outside the reception hall his mouth had been tired from smiling but
now it was tingling with life and all because of a kiss.   A man's
kiss, Tom's kiss, neither of which he'd experienced before and was
surprised to find he liked them both.   Chakotay looked down at the
erection trying to poke a hole through the pants of his dress uniform.

Yes, he liked them very much.


Of all the lame things to do Tommy boy.

Tom peeked around Harry down the long table to where Chakotay sat
eating his dinner two admirals, one commodore, one returning captain
and ensign away from him.  When the older man caught his gaze, Tom
sat back quickly and concentrated on his own meal.

Oh fuck he had kissed him.  It wasn't supposed to happen that way.
All he had wanted to do was say thanks for being one of the good
guys.  He hadn't meant to jump the guy like a sex-starved maniac.
Okay so it had been awhile since he'd indulged but shit, did he have
start up again with Chakotay of all people?

Okay the man was hot, burning actually but he was also straight.
The commander liked woman and not men, right?   Tom thought about
that.  It did seem like Chakotay was kissing him back and maybe that
wasn't his hipbone he'd felt pressed into him after all.  Did he?
Could he?  Would he?  A sharp jab in the ribs cut short his mental

"Tom, are you alright?"  Harry Kim, his best friend in the whole
galaxy was looking at him like his dog had died and that wouldn't
do.  The fresh-faced ensign was ecstatically happy to be home and Tom
didn't want to rain on his parade.  He gave him one of his biggest,
brightest smiles.

"Yeah sure Har why wouldn't I be?"  I just kissed Chakotay and made
a total fool of myself but yeah sure, I'm totally fucking
fine.  "We're home, aren't we?"

"Well I thought you might be worried about Auckland.  The review
board meets tomorrow afternoon doesn't it?"

He'd forgotten about that.  Oh hell this day just keeps getting
better and better.  Smile, Tommy, smile.

"Yeah but my council says they'll probably see my time on Voyager as
time served."   He lied.   What his lawyer, a tall stoic Vulcan had
actually said was that the chances that the parole committee would
let him remain free were one in five.

Because you see, although Tom Paris may be the media's darling, he
was still in truth, only his father's little boy.

The Admiral, who was now by the way chatting up Chakotay, had filed a
statement to the courts stating he didn't want his son getting
preferential treatment and apparently, according to his less than
enthusiastic lawyer the board was taking him seriously.

So things didn't look too good for him but Harry didn't need to know
that, not tonight anyway.

"So Har are you going to see Libby?"  Tom asked diverting the focus
off him.

While his best bud rambled on about whether or not to contact his ex-
fiancé, Tom chanced another look down the table.


He was watching him.  He was sure of it.

Every once in a while Chakotay saw a flash of white and a wisp of
gold and sometimes when he looked up from his plate fast enough, of
wink of deep blue.  Seeing only bits and pieces of the beguiling
pilot was driving him nuts.

While Admiral Paris droned on about the Federation and Chakotay's
responsibility to it, he was having increasingly lewd thoughts about
the man's son.

It was new for him to be thinking this way about a man, especially
this one so the positions that flashed through his head were not very
original but they were erotic enough to make his uniform feel two
sizes too small and made of thermoplastic wrap.

He wanted to kiss him again and more.  Chakotay wanted to explore his
hard body, to smell and touch the all the areas that made Tom
distinctly male.  He was suddenly more excited by the prospect of
discovering why one kiss who make him hornier than he'd been in ages
than boarding his transport home.

"So how do you plan on accomplishing your goal Commander?"  The
senior Paris asked interjecting his annoying voice into his pleasant

Chakotay half giddy, half irritated was sorely tempted to say by
throwing him over my shoulder and taking him back to my room but
guessed that wasn't the goal the old blowhard was talking about.

"I don't.   Nothing personal but I've had enough of flying through
space in a monkey suit for a while.   I'm resigning.   Now if you'll
excuse me."

Ignoring the admiral's blustered response, Chakotay pushed back his
chair and headed down to the other end of the table.


Oh god he was getting up.  Oh god he was coming this way.

Tom avoided Chakotay's determined gaze and tried valiantly to appear
interested in what Harry was saying but his ruse was spoiled when the
ensign stopped talking at the commander's arrival.

"Lieutenant a moment alone please?"


"I would like to discuss the subject you brought up earlier."

"I think we were done Commander."

"No, the last part bears further scrutiny and I'd like you to go over
the finer points with me again."

"Can't I write you a report on it instead?"

"No I think a personal touch is required."   Chakotay looked briefly
at Harry.  "We could discuss it here if you like?"

"Here?"  Oh shit, no.

He considered briefly calling Chakotay's bluff, surely he wouldn't
talk about kiss in front of Harry but by the dangerous glint in his
brown eyes, Tom decided he just might.  He stood lazily as if it was
all the same to him and waved his arm out in front of him.

"After you Commander."  He said politely through clenched teeth.

With his hand on the small of his back, Chakotay guided him through
the main dining room to the large patio outside.   It was dark except
for esthetically placed mood lighting and practically vacant.   Most
people were still eating so there were only a few guests wandering
the patio's long boardwalk.  The commander hustled him over to roman
styled pillar and then slammed him against its marbled length.

As Tom opened his mouth to protest the rough treatment, Chakotay
stuck his tongue down his throat.

This wasn't talking his mind registered weakly as his body responded
strongly to the commander's passionate kiss.  Tom eyes shuddered
close as Chakotay's questing tongue and brusque lips explored his

For him, Chakotay was an object of lust.  Oh he was still his senior
officer and Tom respected him enormously but he was also his favorite
image to whack off to in the shower.   Call it his own brand of hero
worship, whatever but the point was it a nice safe fantasy where he'd
called the shots and he did the man handling.  He was totally
unprepared for his fantasy to man handle him and to be so fucking
good at it.

The soft, full lips on his mouth, and oh god now on his neck, were
marvelously gifted.  The commander definitely had a natural aptitude
for kissing.   His big warm hands however did not seem so sure.

They roved, twitching and probing from his face, to his shoulders and
fluttered around his hips as if not knowing where to land.   The
teasing almost touches were driving Tom crazy but it was the kind of
insanity he liked.   He arched his back and moved into them.

"Dammit Lieutenant, what are you doing to me?"  Chakotay wheezed into
his ear while holding him tight.

To you?  Oh fuck, Tom's mind wailed.  What are you doing to me?

"I never knew, never, never," Chakotay was kissing his neck softly
between `nevers'.  "Oh spirits Tom."

Chakotay's lips left his throat and found his mouth again.  This time
the kiss was slower, not so urgent but infinitely more passionate.
Chakotay was coaxing Tom's pleasure along now, not simply taking his
own.  And damn, if he thought the man was good before, now that he
was concentrating, he was fan-fucking-tastic.

The fluttering hands finally found their mark and stayed with it.
Strong fingers massaged the base of his spine and pulled him flush
into a groin hard with desire.   Tom let out a little cry at feeling
Chakotay's erect cock slide against his.   Even through two layers of
clothing he could feel its heat and magnitude.   What would it look
like laid bare, Tom wondered.   What would Chakotay look like?    Tom
halted his dangerous speculations.   If he thought about Chakotay
nude, he would come right here in his arms and that would be
tremendously embarrassing.   Oh fuck, who was he fooling?   He was
going to come anyway if they went on like this for very much
longer.   Tom wedged his hands between their bodies and pushed.

"We, we have to stop."   Tom said while drawing his tongue over his
swollen lips.   The commander's black eyes followed the motion with
keen interest.

"No, not yet."  Chakotay strained against the hands on his chest and
captured his lips again.   Tom succumbed for a few seconds before
pushing back with greater force.   The commander, his chest heaving
and his eyes feral finally let go.

"Yes, now.  I can't walk back in there looking like this."  Tom
pointed with eyes down to his extended crotch.   Chakotay followed
his gaze and smiled.

"Not bad.  Is it uncut?"

"Commander!"  He cried in outrage.

Tom still wasn't used to this sexually aggressive version of
Chakotay.   It alarmed him and threw him off balance.  This guy
wasn't even supposed to like men and yet he was looking at him with
enough undisguised lust to make even a Risan pleasure girl blush.

"Sorry Tom I know I shouldn't have asked, but I do want to know."
The commander stepped back up to him and lightly caressed his cheek
with his fingers.   "I want to know everything."

"Everything?"  Tom squeaked.

"Yes.  What it's like to smell you, touch you and," His voice caught
in his throat.  Chakotay swallowed a few times before
continuing.  "And I think I'd like to know what it's like to be in
side you."

"Oh god you want to fuck me?"

"I don't think I would have put it so crudely but yes.  Surprised?"

"No more than if you would have proposed marriage.   Hell yeah I'm

"Me too.  You're not the first person that comes to mind when I think
about sex.   Well not normally, or at least not until tonight."
Chakotay's thumb grazed his bottom lip.   "The kiss in the closet
sort of shook me up."

"I didn't mean to do that.   It, it was a mistake."

The hand that had gone from stroking his face to playing with the
hair over his ears, dropped abruptly.  Chakotay frowned.

"A mistake?  You don't want me?"

"I didn't say that."

"Then what are you saying Tom?   I'm going out of mind wanting you
and it seemed to me a few moments ago you felt the same way."

"It just kind of weird for me.   You're so straight and this is so
unexpected, I'm not really sure what I want."

"You're right of course, about all of it.  I haven't been with a man
before.  Does that turn you off?"

"That you're a virgin, oh fuck Chakotay no not at all.   I kinda
actually like that part, it's more that it's you, the big strong
commander, that oh fuck, I don't know."

"It's okay Tom."  The smile returned.  "I'm kind of freaked it's you

"Now what do we do?"

"We go back into the hall, say a few thank yous and then leave one at
time and meet back in my room."

Tom smirked, his tension easing slightly now that he knew Chakotay
was as fucked up about this as he was.  "Is that an order Commander?"

"No Lieutenant," Chakotay replied softly.  "It's a heartfelt request."


It wasn't uncut.

Sitting on the edge of his bed, Chakotay studied the jutting organ
bobbing inches from his nose.   He'd never seen one this up close and
personal before and was fascinated.

"You don't have to if you don't want to Commander.   I could do you

He tore his eyes away from Tom's cock and looked up into his face.
The younger man was sweating, glistening almost and his expression
was guarded.   He looked as if he was ready to bolt at any minute.
Chakotay ran a calming hand over his flank.

"No, I want to do this."   He leaned forward and kissed Tom's hip.
When he sat back to look at him again he caught a whiff of sweat and
musk.   The scent hit him viscerally and his own erection, projecting
up from between his thighs wept.  "And call me Chakotay.   You're
standing naked in my bedroom, I don't think using rank is exactly
appropriate, do you?"

"No, I suppose not."  Tom smiled and touched the side of his face.
By the movement of his fingers Chakotay could tell he was tracing his
tattoo.  It was nice.

"Good.  Now promise to tell me when I doing something wrong?"

"Promise."  Tom whispered.

Tom's fingers moved to tangle in his hair as Chakotay looked back to
his cock.   Its swollen purple head was leaking pre-cum.   Tiny
droplets seeped from the slit and dripped along to the underside.
Chakotay caught one of the errant pearls with his thumb and tasted
its saltiness.   Not bad he thought as Tom moaned above him.

Steadying the trembling organ with one hand, Chakotay leaned forward
and this time used his mouth to taste the pilot.   Pursing his lips,
he sucked the crest into his mouth, and swirled his tongue to clean
it.   He traced the slit a few times, before sucking in more of Tom's
cock into his mouth.   The fingers in his hair tightened painfully.
He ignored them and pressed on.

Never having a man's dick in his mouth before, but knowing what felt
good to him, Chakotay covered his teeth with his lips and curled his
tongue around Tom's shaft as he took in more and more of it.   As he
closed in on Tom's pelvis the musky scent he smelled earlier
increased.   His breath hitched, as he strived to get closer to it.

"Easy baby, you don't have to take all of it."   Tom crooned from up

The younger man had mistaken his reaction as choking.  Not that he
was too far off the mark.  The head of Tom's cock `was' tickling his
gag reflux.   He breathed through his nose catching more of the
younger man's heady scent, and tried to relax his throat so he
wouldn't.   When could take no more, he pulled back dragging his lips.

"Oh yeah, now again Chak.   Suck me hard and then pull back like that

Encouraged and liking this more than he thought he would, Chakotay
dived back in only this time he cradled Tom's balls with his other
hand.  He got halfway back down Tom's shaft when the younger man shot
his hips forward imbedding himself the rest of way.  This time
Chakotay did choke.   Tom pulled his cock from his mouth.

"Oh shit, sorry.  Are you alright?"  Tom smiled apologetically and
smoothed his long fingers through Chakotay's hair.

"Yeah.   Just don't move anymore okay?"

"I'll try but you'll have to leave my balls alone and hold me by the
hips.   I'm gonna want to move Chak and eventually I won't be able
not to.  Understand?"

Chakotay understood.   He'd been there before.

He reinserted Tom's cock, now slick with his saliva back into his
mouth and clutched the pale hips.  Now that he knew how much he could
take, Chakotay sucked and pulled at the hot organ between his lips,
treating himself to a whiff of Tom on every down stroke.

"Oh yeah that's good, you're doing it right babe, oh yeah, oh yeah."
Tom cried as he pulled at his hair with every syllable.

Tom's pelvis twitched in his grasp and his own began to pull up from
the mattress in sympathy.  Chakotay wanted to stroke his own aching
cock but was afraid to let go and allow Tom to fuck his mouth.   He'd
choke for sure then.

"Stop Chak, oh you gotta stop.   I'm going to come."

Now that would be a new experience.   Chakotay wondered what it would
feel like to have Tom shoot his load down his throat.  He bobbed his
head faster to find out.

"Oh fuck no."   Tom let go of his head, grabbed his shoulders and
pushed.   His cock slipped from Chakotay's mouth.

"Why?"  Chakotay gasped.   He'd been looking forward to swallowing
Tom's release.

"Together," Tom wheezed.  "We have to come together.  Move back on
the bed."

"Tom I wanted to," He began.

"I know.  Another time maybe but not the first time."

Another time?   There was to be more of this?   He was surprise to
find that he liked the idea.  Chakotay let the thought warm him as he
moved back on the bed.  Tom was on him before he reached the

The young blond scissored his long legs into his and began sliding
his wet erection along his hip.

"Pump with me Chak."  Tom was already humping him.  "Do it hard and

"I want to be in you."  He pleaded as his cock pulsed with the
friction Tom was causing.

"No time babe.  I can't last."

"Next time?"  His inner thighs were trembling and Chakotay knew he
wouldn't last either but he needed to hear Tom say it.

"Oh yeah babe, definitely next time.  Now shut the fuck up and move!"

Their next date confirmed, he grabbed Tom's hip with one hand and the
back of his neck with the other.   Spiking his pink mouth with his
tongue, Chakotay rubbed his cock into him.  It slid easily partly
because Tom's was lubricated with spit, his spit, the thought
thrilled him and because he was so close to coming his shaft was
literally coated with pre-cum.

"Oh yeah, it's happening, oh god, oh god, oh god!"

In a hot rush Tom's orgasm filled the space between their bodies.
Chakotay looked down to watch the semen shoot from Tom's purple head
and his lower belly as it spasmed with pleasure.   He
had never seen anything this erotic, this beautiful and kept it in
sight as his own orgasm began to rip through his body.

He wasn't as verbal as Tom but what he lacked in words he made up for
in volume.

Roaring, Chakotay beat his hips against Tom as an endless stream of
semen erupted from his body.  He was coming so hard his balls ached
with tension.  Tom grabbed his face and kissed him tenderly through
the remainder of his orgasm.  It was a sweet ending.

Feeling totally wrecked and thoroughly satisfied he closed his eyes
and drifted.

"You okay babe?"

He felt Tom's hand rubbing circles on his chest.


"So it was good?"

"Good, very good.  Messy though."

Tom laughed softly.   It was a pleasant sound and one he'd not heard
before.   Tonight was certainly a night for pleasing discoveries.

"Yeah well nothing's free Chak."

"Chak.  Mmm, I like that too.   Why didn't you kiss me sooner Tom

"Just dumb I guess."

Chakotay opened his eyes and smiled.

"You're not dumb.   You're a lot of things Tom, most of them good but
dumb's not one of them."

He wanted to say smart, funny and beautiful but didn't quite have the
nerve.  If Tom had been a woman, he might have but he wasn't sure
what you were supposed to say to a man you've just fucked.

"Most of them?   The blue eyes glittered.

"I wouldn't want you to get a swelled head Lieutenant."

"Okay Commander as long you make other parts of my body swell that's
fine with me."

"Go to sleep Tom."

Closing his eyes again, Chakotay wrapped his arms about the younger
man.   They were sweaty and sticky and would probably be glued
together come morning but he didn't care.

Right now there wasn't another man, no correction person he wanted to
be stuck to other than Tom Paris.

And that thought amazed him.


He had to go.

God knew he didn't want to, but if he left Chakotay's quarters in the
glaring light of day, the image would be captured for prosperity and
the opening headline on the morning news.   Tom didn't think their
fledgling sexual relationship was ready for that kind of scrutiny.

It wouldn't bother him but Chakotay he thought might have a few
problems with it.   This gorgeous man lying beside him had to first
deal with what his passions had made him do tonight.   It would be
hard enough for him to accept without having to do it in public.

Tom kissed his tattoo and Chakotay sighed in his sleep.   Even in
your sleep you respond to me big guy.  I like that, Tom thought as he
slipped from his arms and left the bed.

Forgoing a shower and dressing quickly he moved to the desk on the
far side of the room and activated the computer terminal.   He left a
short note stating briefly his reasons for leaving in the dead of
night and a promise to meet him tomorrow for breakfast.   Feeling
sentimental, he changed the standard sign off from sincerely to yours
always and logged off the terminal.

Before leaving he took one last good look at his lover.

Tom admired his heavily muscled arms and legs and marveled at all
that wonderfully brown skin.  It was so smooth and hairless, Chakotay
only had a smidgen of hair at his groin, that it appeared bronze in
the ambient moonlight.  Tom sighed and hoped circumstances would
allow him to keep this handsome man for a little while at least.

The parole hearing was tomorrow, so chances were he might be
separated from his new lover.   One in five his lawyer said.   Not
terribly good odds, but what the hell, nothing comes for free as he
told Chakotay.   If anything, tonight was the best send off he could
have wished for.   One night in Chakotay's arms was certainly worth a
multitude in Auckland.   Tom laughed quietly.  Talk about your last

Still smiling, Tom turned and left the quarters thinking about his
date for breakfast.   In a happy daze he walked the empty halls back
to his own rented rooms.

In his self-induced miasma, he was unprepared for the blow to the
back of his head when it came.  He never saw his attacker and
wouldn't, until hours later, light years away from Earth and Chakotay.