Summary:
Tom and Chakotay get caught with their hands on each other
and are forced
to become a not so happy couple.
Chakotay had a problem.
Standing in
the dark, he looked down at his sleeping husband trying
to decide
which side of the bed to get in on. He preferred sleeping
on the left,
the side next to the door but Tom was on half of that.
Of course
that meant he was also on half of the right.
Lying on his
side the younger man had zonked out right smack in the
middle of
the mattress leaving Chakotay no alternative but to cuddle
up to him
if he wanted in the bed at all. Which probably wouldn't be
a problem
for most. Tom, looking adorably innocent in his silent
slumber was
a ripe candidate for cuddling but Chakotay was not a
cuddler.
He liked his space.
Giving up with
a sigh, Chakotay chose his usual left and Tom's back.
He'd have
to sleep on his side curled up behind the younger man to
keep from
falling out of bed. He moved to the edge of the mattress,
slipped under
the covers and before long discovered that unlike him,
Tom was not
wearing sleep pants.
Like a switch,
as soon as he came into contact with Tom's warm nude
body the younger
man rolled. His blond head now rested on his chest
and draped
over his stomach and thighs, were a half set of golden
furred arms
and legs. Chakotay having nowhere else to put his arms
let them fall
loosely around his shoulders. Oh spirits, now they
were really
cuddling.
After having
learned yet another endearing but slightly annoying fact
about his
new husband, Chakotay lay awake and tried to make sense of
his thoughts.
His talk with Kathryn had helped some but not much.
He now knew
that Tom had not agreed to marry him out of spite or fear
of going to
prison but because Kathryn had convinced him to for the
sake of the
ship. Her main argument had been that he, Chakotay would
eventually
divorce him. It wasn't true and he would have thought Tom
knew him well
enough to know that but apparently not. He had made a
mental note
right there and then to better acquaint his new husband
his tribal
beliefs.
So now he understood
the younger man's motives for saying I do. Now
if could just
understand the rest of him, he'd be home free.
Unfortunately
to do that, he'd have to understand his own reactions
and that was
the kicker, he didn't.
For so long
the only way he knew how to deal with Tom was through sex
and anger
and for the type of relationship they'd had, he was
embarrassed
to admit as ship's counselor that it had worked. But
that was only
when Tom reacted to him the same way. Seeing the
softer, gentler
Tom had thrown Chakotay for a loop.
The look of
wonder on his face when the cabin doors had opened for
him or the
joy on his eyes to see his favorite meal, or spirits help
him, when
Tom asked if they were in love, completely disarmed him.
He had felt
awed, while terrified, inspired and cautious. A brash,
smart mouthed
Tom Paris he knew how to fight but against a
vulnerable,
puppy like Tom Chakotay he was defenseless. Chakotay
didn't know
what to expect or even what he wanted from that man.
Soft lips interrupted his internal debate.
Chakotay stiffened
as his husband stirred to life. Only moving his
eyes, he looked
down to see Tom kissing his chest softly. His eyes
were closed
and when Chakotay whispered his name, he didn't respond
leading him
to believe that Tom really hadn't woken. Like a big
blond puppy,
Tom was moving in his sleep. He was dreaming.
"Mmmm, tiger." Tom mouthed into his chest.
Tiger?
Who the hell was Tiger, his jealousy asked. Jealousy? Where
the hell did
that come from, his pride inquired. Be quiet, his
libido said
to both of them as Tom's hand began its own dream walk.
A sprinkling
of feather light touches dusted down his belly.
Chakotay shamelessly
sucked in his gut and quickly undid the bow in
his drawstring
to allow the delicate caresses to continue under the
waistband
of his sleep pants. They did, bunching the fabric down
over his hips.
He was breathlessly
anticipating their destination, when a warm
wetness swirled
around his right nipple. Spirits that felt good.
Chakotay never
knew Tom could move that way.
"Love tiger." Tom murmured between licks.
As he tried
to beat back his newborn jealousy, something registered
in his brain.
This was what Tom was like when he made love. These
soft tender
touches were so alien to Chakotay because up to now he'd
only brutally
fucked the purring man at his side. He didn't know
this sweet
loving Tom because he wasn't his. He belonged to someone
named Tiger.
When adoring
fingers ghosted over his throbbing erection to gently
cup his balls,
Chakotay moaned an ancient endearment and softly
kissed the
top of the blond head at his chest. He regretted the
action immediately.
Tom's eyes
fluttered open and his hand pulled back. Chakotay was
surprised
to actually hear himself whimper at the loss.
"Chak?"
The younger man's voice was thick with sleep and his blue
eyes were
cloudy when he looked up.
Chakotay gave him a careful smile. "Yes Tommy, I'm here."
"What?"
Tom stopped and glanced down at where he was. "Oh, I'm
sorry."
Without looking
back up, Tom pulled back and retreated to the far
side of the
bed. The quick movement billowed the covers allowing him
to see that
Tom was aroused as he was. The long solid erection
wasn't for
him, but Chakotay didn't care, he wanted this soft pliant
Tom and reached
for it anyway. The sleep fogged younger man rolled
over, facing
away from him before he got a chance to hold it.
"I'm sorry."
He said again in a low whisper. "I was dreaming, I
didn't mean
to."
Yes, dreaming
of Tiger Chakotay thought bitterly but didn't voice his
resentment.
Instead, he curled up behind his husband, laying a hand
on his bare
flank and set his chin on his shoulder. When he noticed
the dark purple
bruise there, he satisfied his earlier desire at
dinner and
kissed it before speaking.
"Don't apologize
Tommy, it's all right." He said in his most
soothing voice.
One did not speak harshly to this fragile gentle
Tom.
When the younger man didn't respond, Chakotay asked a question.
"Who is Tiger?"
He felt the muscles of the long body cradled in
front of him
tighten.
"Nobody real."
Tom replied softly and then a little sharper. "Can I
sleep now?"
He was lying
and it was the old harder Tom that had come out to do
the deed.
It hurt.
"Yes, good night Tom." He said tightly but remained where he was.
That night Chakotay became a cuddler.
********
"Congratulations Lieutenant Chakotay."
Nodding absently
at crewman Gerron as the young Bajoran left the
crowded messhall,
Tom stood just in side the doors and cased the
joint.
It was lunchtime and he was hungry but had no idea where to
sit.
On one side
of the room sat Harry at a table with B'Elanna and on the
other his
husband. Chakotay's nose was deep into a PADD and he
hadn't noticed
his arrival. Harry had seen him but was making
ridiculous
but discreet motions with his hands to ward him away. It
apparently
wasn't a good idea to eat lunch with B'Elanna just yet.
Too bad, he
would have preferred his friends' company to his
husband's
today.
All morning
while on the bridge, Chakotay had been at him and not in
a way he was
used to. Normally when the big man paid attention to
him on duty
it was to criticize but today he hadn't said a harsh
word.
He really hadn't said much of anything but he'd done a hell of
a lot of touching.
They used to be real careful about doing that in
public but
he guessed not anymore.
Tom couldn't
count how many times Chakotay had come up behind him,
placed a hand
on his shoulder and watched him work. It was
unnerving,
especially when a finger or two would slip under the
collar of
his tunic to caress his neck and stroke his hickey.
Standing now
in the messhall, Tom's hand moved to touch it gingerly
over his uniform.
Damn, he knew
he should have regenerated the damaged tissue before he
left the cabin
this morning. He was aware from last night's gentle
kiss that
Chakotay was fixated on it but had kept it. It meant
something
to him. The tiger had given it to him.
He hadn't wanted
to heal it but he was going to have to. Chakotay
was making
it a target for his role-playing and Tom was having a hard
time pretending
he wasn't truly affected. He wanted the touches to
be real.
Dammit, he had wanted to turn his head and kiss those
loving fingers
but that would have given his hand away too soon.
Chakotay would
know he was in love with him and the big man's
affections
had to be genuine before he let him know that. Besides,
what he'd
done last night had been dumb enough.
In the fuzzy
space between sleeping and waking, he had let loose his
desires.
Touching Chakotay's hard warm body the way he'd always
wanted to
had been too hard to resist in that dream state. He'd been
mesmerized,
in a fugue of love that had only broken when the big man
had said something
odd.
It had been
the funny word, native maybe, Pook-something or other
that had brought
him back to himself and if he hadn't been so
mortified
at his actions, Tom would have asked Chakotay its meaning.
But he hadn't.
He'd just curled into himself and willed the big man
to stop talking
to him or at the very least fuck him from behind. He
was painfully
aroused despite his embarrassment. Chakotay did shut
up but all
he had done afterwards was to hold him and go to sleep.
The big arms
around him were nice but so would have been sex.
"Tom!"
His favorite Talaxian cheered loudly as he approached the
buffet.
Chakotay looked
up from his PADD finally seeing him and smiled. He
couldn't know
what he was thinking about but Tom blushed anyway
causing the
big man's smile to widen. Having no other choice Tom
mindlessly
filled his plate from the buffet and went to join him.
"Hello." Chakotay said pleasantly.
"If I sit down,
are you going to keep your hands to yourself?" Tom
snipped as
he set his lunch on the table.
The comment
was out before he could stop it and he regretted
immediately
when he saw Chakotay's whole body tense as if he'd just
been punched
in the gut.
"I thought
you liked my hands on you Tommy." Chakotay shot back.
The big man
knew it would piss him off if he used his private pet in
public.
Tit for tat, he deserved that he guessed.
"Dammit you
know I do," Tom said a little louder than intended. He
sat down quickly
and leaned over the table to Chakotay. "But not on
the bridge,
okay."
"Why not?
People understand." He grinned at him obviously enjoying
his irritation.
"We're married now, Lieutenant Chakotay."
"Yeah well
fine." Tom had a feeling he'd be hearing that snappy come
back again
more than once. Chakotay was becoming real fond of it.
Tom sought
to top it. "Then be prepared to really feel married
tomorrow night
at our open house. I'm gonna be all over you big
man."
"We're not
having a big party." Chakotay lost the smile. "I told
you alpha
shift only."
Oh yeah, check and mate!
"Mmm, forgot." Tom shrugged his shoulders.
Chakotay's
gorgeous brown eyes went black. "Like hell you did." He
growled.
"You're right
I didn't. Want to make something of it?" Please, his
mind added
silently. He needed to blow off a little steam and having
Chakotay's
cock jamming up his ass was the best way to do it.
"Our cabin
now?" The big man was already rising. His nostrils were
flaring and
his chest was heaving.
"Race you."
Tom challenged with glee as he dismounted from his chair
like a horse.
Oblivious to
everything but each other, neither man took note of the
twenty something
amused smiles and one definite frown that followed
their hasty
exit.
********
"What are you doing?"
"What you should be, stripping."
"We don't have time, Chak."
"I want skin Tommy." He said meaning it.
Chakotay had
spent all night holding Tom's warm nude body without
indulging
in its magnificence. Although he wanted to, he had been
unable bring
himself to initiate sex. It would have been crude so
soon after
experiencing Tom's tender loving making so he had
satisfied
himself with just holding him. It had been surprisingly
pleasant and
worth the aching erection that he'd suffered with all
night long
but now he'd reached his limit. He still wanted hold Tom,
to feel his
warm flesh against his but he also needed to be inside
him.
His hunger was great and increasing with each piece of clothing
he lost.
"But we'll
be late for duty." Tom pointed out while watching him
intently and
occasionally licking at his lips. Chakotay was very
envious of
that pink mouth.
"So?"
He said as he flung his boxers at the younger man. Tom caught
them, smiled
and then threw them back playfully. If he was trying to
dissuade him,
then playing mischievous imp was definitely not the way
to go.
Giving him a glimpse of the softer Tom Chakotay made him
hornier.
Naked and hot, he advanced on his fully dressed husband.
"That isn't
First Officer Chakotay talking." Tom scolded with a
grin.
He was backing slowing towards the bedroom door.
"No, it's your
husband. He's new, get use to him." Chakotay said
speaking his
mind while trying to sound witty.
The younger man abruptly stopped his back peddling.
"I know."
Tom's gaze drifted briefly to the rug and then back up.
His blue eyes
were cool. "And fucking me is part of that, isn't?
Being a husband,
I mean."
"Yes, I suppose."
Chakotay said with uncertainty. Something had
just happened
and he was unsure of what it was but he knew it wasn't
good.
"Fine, right
then let's go." Tom said curtly as he removed his
jacket and
headed into the bedroom. The panels opened and shut,
leaving Chakotay
standing alone and naked in the living room. His
mind was spinning.
What had he
said to upset him? Chakotay replayed the conversation in
his head and
came up with an answer.
Husband, he
called himself Tom's husband and he hadn't liked that.
It had put
the younger man off. In the messhall he had reminded Tom
of their marriage
to purposely provoke him, they'd been fighting but
he hadn't
meant to do that here. Oh spirits, he didn't want to upset
him now.
He'd didn't want the spitfire Tom Paris for a change. He
wanted the
gentle Tom Chakotay.
Last night
had shown him another side to the man he was married to
and he found
it very alluring but in his want he'd forgotten
something
and had perhaps reminded Tom. That sweetly affectionate
man belonged
to someone else. Someone who was indeed very real and
called Tiger.
Whether this
person was here on Voyager or from Tom's past, the big
blond puppy
Tom was his or hers and not Chakotay's. His was the one
that fought
him at every turn. Had he reminded the younger man of a
love lost
or an old hurt when he called him husband? Maybe, it made
sense.
Tom had also been irritated by his light caresses on the
bridge.
He hadn't wanted them. Tom didn't want his tenderness or
his, his,
oh spirits. His mind stuttered to a stop.
Chakotay breathed
deeply, flinching at the tightness of his chest as
a bolt of
realization hit him. He was in trouble. He had fallen for
a man he couldn't
have. Married to him or not, he was attracted to a
side of his
husband that was off limits to him. A part he couldn't
claim.
He looked to the closed bedroom doors with longing and made a
decision that
bore a remarkable resemblance to a compromise.
So maybe he
couldn't have all that he wanted but he would sure as
hell take
what he could get.
For now.
TBC