Contemplate by Andrea Castro Summary : Set after " Lineage " Tom and B'Elanna reflect on their life together and the future . P/T POV 's . Note : StarTrek : Voyager belongs to Paramount Pictures . 2 - 2 -02 Contemplate
The Doctor told me to expect more
behavioral volatility in the months coming up . Great . But I don't think
I let it sink in . I mean ... a daughter . I'm going to have a daughter
with Tom . If I said that seven years ago I would have thought it would
never happen . But I was wrong . I never thought I could find a man like
Tom . A man that actually loved me . I've been hurt so much in the past
but so has Tom . And what Tom said to me yesterday ... proved to me that
he would never betray me. I think he was really hurt that I even thought
he would . I love him . And he loves me .
~~ A baby . B'Elanna and I are going
to have a baby . She'll be beautiful like her mother . I think B'Elanna
still thinks she's ugly. All I want to know is how she can think that ?
I fell in love with her when I first saw her in the Maquis . She gets more
beautiful everyday . And her Klingon ridges ... make her exotic . But I
have to admit . What she was going to do to our daughter really pissed
me off . She blames herself that her father left . I can't back that up
but our daughter will never cause me to leave . Hell , nothing came make
me leave her . I can't imagine my life without her . Sure we fight a lot
but she fights back with this passion that I never thought I could find
. And it was just what I love about her . She's passionate , beautiful
, sexy , dedicated , and she loves me .
~~ Tom would always look out for me.
Even before we started dating . Like that whole ponn farr thing . He said
he wouldn't take advantage of me . Even though he was interested in me
. He wouldn't do anything that might hurt our friendship . I think he valued
that the most back then . He still amazes me sometimes.
~~ I also have to admit that when she
started talking about ' how some people just fit together without having
to work at it ' , I started to get scared . I thought my worse nightmare
was coming true - loosing her . I couldn't loose her. She wasn't like any
of the other woman I had in the past . This was the woman I loved , adored
, and worshiped . Anything she needed I'd make sure she'd get it . I love
her so much it hurts . But ' love ' doesn't say enough. Captivate is more
of the word . She says she could get lost in my eyes but I've been lost
in hers and I still can't find a way out . Her beauty is intoxicating and
I'm surprised every man on Voyager isn't falling on bended knee. But she's
mine . Well , not as ownership but she is mine forever . I will not let
her go .
~~ Tom knows I can't forgive my father
for what he's done and knows all the pain he caused me . When I told him
more about it , I could tell he was furious . That someone could hurt me
that badly . But Tom eased all that pain and made it all go away . I never
have to be afraid of being betrayed because I'm not letting him get of
the hook that easy . Hmm. And he has assured me over and over that he can't
or won't leave me . I can't loose him just as much as he can't loose me
. We both were made for each other .
TBC |