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In Silence and Apart (NC-17)
by Sarah (ladyvyola@aol.com)

Chakotay awoke with a vague sense that something was ... different. He began to stretch and was abruptly halted by the discovery that soft bindings held him spread-eagled to his bed. His sheet and coverlet were nowhere in sight, leaving his body clothed only in the soft light from his bedside table.

"Good morning, Commander. I hope you slept well."

He nearly tore a muscle as he whipped his head around to see Tom Paris lounging against the doorway to the bathroom.

"Lieutenant, what kind of game are you playing here? Let me up immediately!" Chakotay infused his voice with every bit of command he could; he had the distressing impression that it wouldn't do a bit of good.

"I don't think so." Paris looked him up and down. "You could try calling Security to get you out. I'm sure Tuvok wouldn't tell anyone. Except the Captain, of course." He laughed at the look of sheer horror that crossed the First Officer's face. "Oh, don't worry. I've blocked all outgoing calls from your quarters so you won't have to decide if getting away from me is worth the humiliation. And since you were so kind as to inform everyone that you were going to spend today in meditation, no one's going to be calling you." He lowered his voice and imbued it with a mocking portentousness. "Not even Captain Janeway would disturb the 'great mystic warrior' for anything less than a red alert."

Chakotay pulled at the bindings, testing their strength. There was just enough play in them to prevent him from straining his muscles but not enough to sit up or close his legs. He felt a flush rising up under Paris's assessing gaze. "What's this all about, Paris? Getting your jollies out of embarrassing me?"

"Not at all. Hmmm, I think I like you better when you're quiet. I have just the thing." From his pocket, Tom produced a soft black scarf. "This should do the trick." He bent over and swiftly tied the scarf around Chakotay's face, covering his mouth. "How's that, not too tight, I hope?"

Chakotay tried to push the scarf down with his lips and tongue but it proved too securely fastened.

"You make a lovely picture like that, Chakotay. If I'd realized that sooner I wouldn't have taken so long to keep that date we made. Remember that, Chakotay?"

He did remember, though he'd tried so hard to push it to the back of his mind.

Tom sat on the side of the bed and leisurely ran a hand up and down the older man's chest, noting the shivering muscles under his touch. "We were hot from the start, remember? When I joined the Maquis I thought you were the most gorgeous thing on two legs and you sure didn't take long to let me know that you felt the same way." He brought his hand up to his mouth and licked the tip of his index finger. "Sure we rubbed each other the wrong way but that was as much the sparks we were generating as any real bad feeling. Remember all those late-night arguments we had? You playing the noble rebel and me the pilot for hire." He drew a circle around Chakotay's right nipple, then the left, watching them harden into tight buds. "Teasing each other, flirting, knowing that we were going to end up in bed together but not yet, not just yet, 'cause it was so much fun working each other up. Remember, Big Man?"

Oh, gods, he remembered. Remembered seeing Tom Paris for the first time in a darkened shuttlebay, the dim lighting seeming to focus all its strength on bright hair and eyes, seeing that cocky smile and hearing the sharp gasp as their hands met for a handshake, knowing that the young pilot felt the same way he did. Remembered those long, luxurious days and nights of waiting, wanting, carefully restrained foreplay in the guise of a heated glance from beneath lowered lashes, a hand on a shoulder here, a brush of a leg there. Remembered the anticipation of possessing that long, graceful body, of exhausting that boundless energy, of replacing that knowing smile with a look of satiation.

A low moan broke from him as the memories washed over him, prompting a chuckle from Paris. "Yes, I can see that you recall every moment," the younger man said, his finger tracing a line down the middle of Chakotay's chest to his rapidly hardening penis. "Fondly, I assume. I know I do." Tom gently stroked along the underside of Chakotay's cock, a soft, barely-there touch that brought the man's hips up off the bed.

"Like that, do you?" Tom's voice was almost clinically detached. "How about this?" He shifted and Chakotay saw the blond head drop down to his groin. The first puff of warm breath against his sensitized skin pulled another moan from him. Chakotay's eyes fluttered closed as the head of his cock was engulfed in the moist heat of Tom's mouth.

For long minutes all Chakotay could hear was the rush of blood in his ears as all the nerves in his body seemed to concentrate themselves between his legs. He managed to open his eyes and the sight of Tom Paris expertly sucking and licking his pulsing erection almost triggered his climax. Just as he was about to lose control, the exquisite sensations stopped.

"Uh uh uh, not just yet, Chakotay. We have all the time in the world and there's no point in rushing things. You just cool down for a little bit while I get more comfortable." Tom stood up and treated Chakotay to an impromptu striptease, pulling off his loose white shirt and jeans, stepping out of his briefs. He left them in an untidy heap on the floor, a contrast to the almost stark neatness of the cabin. Paris went into the bathroom and returned a moment later, a small vial in his hand. He settled at Chakotay's side again, tucking his long legs underneath him.

"I've been saving this for so long, ever since you assigned me my first Maquis mission. You told me that when I came back we'd celebrate. We both knew what that meant. And then you pulled me behind a stack of crates and you kissed me for the first time. God, Chakotay, I could've flown without a shuttle after that. Then off I went, straight into the waiting arms of the Federation."

Paris opened the vial and poured a few drops of golden oil across Chakotay's chest. Warmed by Tom's hands, it released a heady fragrance that filled the air, notes of freesia and gardenia mixing with musky, heavier scents. Tom straddled Chakotay's hips, buttocks just brushing the man's still-straining penis. Leaning forward, he started to massage Chakotay's chest and shoulders, moving up his spread arms and down his ribs in long strokes.

"I'm not positive, but I think Seska was watching us that day. The only reason I was caught was because someone tipped off the Federation about my flight. I think it was Seska. She hated me, you know. I wasn't interested in falling into her bed and you wanted me in yours. She got rid of me and made you even more paranoid about the possibility of Federation spies all in one fell swoop, didn't she? And you, you didn't even think twice before sleeping with her, did you? You forgot all about me and slept with that snake."

As he spoke, Tom's voice stayed steady and calm, a reflection of his deliberate movements. Every inch of Chakotay's skin was alive; he could feel each one of Tom's fingers separately. He could feel the tension that Tom was keeping out of his voice, the pain and anger he hid so much of the time.

"And when I see you again, you look at me like I'm dirt and Seska's at your side. Very cozy, *Commander*. I save your life and bust my balls to keep this ship in one piece and you ask how much I'm being paid. You know, some people might start to feel unappreciated." He moved down, bypassing Chakotay's groin and engorged penis, concentrating on first one leg, then the other. "Some people might hold a grudge. Some people might think about all their stupid hopes and plans and realize that they were being played for fools."

He sat back on his heels between Chakotay's spread thighs. "But I'm not some people, Chakotay. Call me a hopeless romantic; all I want is what you promised me so long ago. Do you know what today is, Chakotay? Today's the anniversary of the day I went on that mission, the day you and I were going to finally sleep together. Anniversaries should be celebrated and that's what I'm going to do."

Chakotay felt oil-slick fingers run over his exposed genitals, probe the shadowed cleft of his buttocks. Paris pushed lightly at the puckered ring of muscle marking the entrance to his body. Shudders racked Chakotay as one finger slipped inside, thrusting in and out, opening him. Tom's voice continued to flow over him as he lost himself in the unrelenting sensations.

"Did you think about this after coming aboard Voyager, Chakotay? Did you think about what we'd be like? Did you lie awake in your bed, wondering what I was doing, who I was doing it with? When you were on the Bridge did you look at me and think about us? When you sat next to me at briefings did you feel the heat of my body next to you? Did you lean into me to catch my scent? Did you watch me in Sandrine's as I flirted with Megan and Jenny? Did you wonder just how close my friendship was with Harry?"

A second finger joined the first, then a third. Chakotay's head thrashed back and forth as he pumped his hips up and down in time with Tom's thrusts. So close, he was so close, if Tom would just touch him ....

Paris pulled his fingers away and reached for the oil he'd placed on the table. "Shhh," he murmured soothingly. "Just another sec, Big Man. Then we'll both have what we want." Tom quickly oiled his own cock and guided it to Chakotay's receptive ass. A slow, steady push and he was snugly embedded his full length. Chakotay involuntarily clenched his buttocks, increasing the sense of fullness and connection and drawing a moan of pleasure from Paris.

Tom leaned forward, lowering his body atop Chakotay's. He reached up and undid the scarf from the other man's face. "Time for our second kiss, don't you think?" Without giving him a chance to respond, Tom captured his mouth, delving deep inside. Tom ran his tongue along Chakotay's, darting in and out to explore every millimeter. At the same time, he began slowly thrusting into Chakotay's ass, filling him completely, then pulling almost all the way out, setting a rhythm.

Chakotay's hands clenched into fists; the need to wrap his arms around Paris was overwhelming but totally frustrated by the bindings holding him. All he could do was angle his hips and tighten his thighs to try to pull Tom deeper into him. His cock, trapped against his stomach by Tom's body, pulsed in time with the racing of his heart. He grew dizzy from the consuming kisses he continued to share with Tom. Finally, he broke his mouth away and pressed his lips to Tom's cheek.

"Tom, please ...." Was that his voice, so weak, so needy?

Tom nipped his way along Chakotay's neck to where the pulse beat beneath his chin. "Uh, Chakotay, ughh," he groaned, his voice hoarse with arousal. "Almost there --" He slipped one hand between their bodies, taking Chakotay's cock in a firm grip. He didn't move his hand, just let it provide the friction that Chakotay craved.

The feel of Tom's hand against him pushed Chakotay over the edge. A few more strokes and he felt the climax start deep inside him, racing through his body. He spasmed again and again, hot semen filling Tom's hand and puddling between their bodies. His orgasm triggered Tom's and he felt the shudders rack the younger man.

Chakotay's heartbeat gradually slowed to normal, the sweat cooling on his body where Tom did not cover him. The other man was heavy but not uncomfortably so as he reached up and undid the bonds at Chakotay's wrists, then slipped them from his ankles. Still clinging together, they eased into an exhausted sleep.

~~~~~~

Chakotay awoke with a vague sense that something was ... different. He began to stretch and was abruptly halted by the discovery that his arms were full of a sleeping Tom Paris. As he gazed at him, Tom's eyes fluttered open.

"Good morning, Commander. I hope you slept well."

Chakotay dropped a kiss on Tom's open mouth. "I certainly did. You sure topped last year's anniversary celebration. I'm going to have to work extra hard on your present. Anything in particular you want?"

"Mmmm. Just you, Big Guy. Just you."


~~~fin~~~
The holiest of all holidays are those
Kept by ourselves in silence and apart;
The secret anniversaries of the heart.

---Longfellow, "Holidays"