Lost Chances
by Trekkie Chic- mud2005@yahoo.com

implied P/T, B‘Elanna Angst
a what if......B‘Elanna has a sister.
Rated PG

"B‘Elanna? You okay? When you didnt show up at Sandrines, I thought you might be feeling a bit.....under the weather, but you look awful" "Thanks Tom, thanks ALOT. I‘ve just been reminiscing. I never told you I had a sister, did I?" She went on before he could answer. "She was nearly five years older than me, but we were closer than anybody I‘ve ever met. If one of us were trouble we‘d just kinda find the other one. We told each other everything."
"Then why are you so said? I wish me abd my sisters had that kind of realtionship"

"You didnt let me finish. We were really close until she got to the 12th grade. Than she got invloved in a twentieth century sport. You may know it. Crew." B‘Elanna didnt even stop to aknowledge Tom‘s eager nod. "She managed the boys‘ crew. It became a cult. She spent every waking moment with them. I was crushed. I no longer had my confidante. On Kessik, we were the only humans, but my mother had already given up on cpnverting Morgan. That‘s my sister. No one got on her case because she did everything right. She was smart, beautiful, charming, and all they guys were totally in love with her."
"Well, you‘re beautiful, BRILLIANT, and charming."
Tom cut in. "You‘re sister sounds pretty vain to me. I like you much better"

"Thanks, but she really wasn‘t. She didnt realize it at all. At her graduation that spring, she wanted all the crew boys to go, but not me. I was heart broken. I cried for days. My mother, of couse, told me to take it like an ‚honorable Kilingon‘, but I couldnt do anything."

"B‘Elanna! That‘s terrible! Why didnt you try talking to her?"

"I did. Tom, I did. She ignored me till I went away. I was so mortified. I had never been so humiliated in my entire life. I became suicidal after she left. I tried to kill my self multiple time, but each time, something happened to prevent me from completing it. I became hestitant to leave myself alone for fear of actually killing myself."

"Well, I‘m certainly glad you didn‘t. But B‘Elanna, it‘s awful that you wanted to kill yourself, but why is you sister affecting you like this, just thinking about her brings you to tears. Why?"

"Morgan came home once, during a break at the university she was attending. We barely talked. She was too busy taling AT me about how she missed ‚her boys‘. And then, when she leaving, she took a shuttle craft back, she died. It was a freak accident. She was the only one that didnt survive though. And I never got to actually TALK to her. I knew though, I saw the ion storm coming, but said nothing. Today was the day she died. Exactly eight years ago. She was twenty-two."

At this, B‘Elanna burst into tears, and Tom, while totally clueless, sat and rocked her to sleep that night. And almost every other night for the next two months, for B‘Elanna couldnt handle being alone with the guilt.