No Regrets - Part 46
Please see part 1 for disclaimer, codes, summary, etc.
"Oh?" Chakotay says carelessly, seemingly unconcerned that he
may be about to be caught with his pants down literally.
"There's something I have to tell you."
"You sound worried."
"I am. Will you please get dressed?"
"I'm sure we have plenty of time."
"No, that's just it. I don't think we do." I swallow
nervously. "This whole thing was an elaborate setup so that
we could resolve our feelings. You see, the Captain..."
"I know," he interrupts.
"Yes. I didn't catch on until after you did, but eventually it
even penetrated my thick head."
"How long have you known?"
"Long enough. It dawned on me some time while you were suckling
my neck. From the time you had that unexpected panic attack,
I've felt something wasn't right. I was just a little slow in
piecing it all together."
"That's nice to know. My ministrations are supposed to leave
you unable to think at all." I sigh with relief as he finally
pulls up his pants and puts on his t-shirt and turtleneck.
"Don't worry. By the time you were finished with my neck I
didn't even know my name."
"That's as it should be," I say with a chuckle.
"Tom, I have a confession to make. I realized what you were
doing, trying to shake Kathryn and the others up a little, and I
decided to just lie back and enjoy it. I wanted to see how far
you'd take it. Only... you just kept on going."
"I'm sorry. I lost control. But I don't understand. Why did
you insist on continuing if you knew they could be watching?"
"By the time you tried to stop things I knew for absolute
certainty that Kathryn wouldn't be watching any longer. I knew
she would have turned the monitor off."
"That's more than I knew. The whole time we were doing that I
was horrified they were still watching and even more horrified
that I was continuing anyway."
"I know. I'm sorry; I couldn't help myself. I just thought I
owed you a little something for trying to shake them up like
that and not telling me what was happening."
"I guess I deserved it, but what if you're wrong? What if they
"They didn't," he says firmly. "And they're not listening now.
I'll prove it." He raises his voice. "Kathryn, we know what's
going on, so you may as well end this all now. Your plan
worked. Tom and I are together, so why don't you let us out of
We wait, but nothing happens. "That doesn't prove anything," I
argue. "If she doesn't want us to know they were watching,
she's hardly going to answer that."
"Tom, you know the Captain. Do you really think she would have
left the monitor on?"
"No." I hand him his jacket and shrug mine on also before lying
down and pulling him against me. "So now what? We wait for the
"I suppose so. Tom, that panic attack you had. You faked that
"Yeah. I wanted to see what would happen. I was suspicious
about everything by then, and tested my suspicions by saying
a couple of things directed squarely at Harry and B'Elanna that
would annoy the hell out of them if they were listening. Sure
enough, they proved they were. When the guards came in to
collect our breakfast tray I was roughed up a little.
"You managed to annoy me too."
"Yeah, well that was just an added bonus."
"What are you saying? You like annoying me?"
"No. I like you roughening me up."
"I'll keep that in mind."
"Anyway, I was certain I was right, but thought I should double
check just to be sure the two guards reactions weren't just a
coincidence. I needed to get a look at these hyposprays of
theirs that you spoke of. I didn't know whether you meant their
equivalent of our hyposprays or if they looked like ours.
"Since you were the one they kept giving the so-called truth
serum to, I had to think of some other way to force them to
inject me with something. That's when I thought of having a
panic attack so they'd have to sedate me.
"They really slipped up there. This holodeck creation is good,
and by keeping me in the dark so much I couldn't tell it wasn't
real. And their disguises are great. They even went to the
trouble of creating original weapons, but they forgot about the
hyposprays the Doc was using."
"Brilliant!" Chakotay says, kissing me soundly. I respond
eagerly and it isn't long before things start to spiral out of
control once more. We manage to regain control and lie quietly,
snuggled together waiting for our rescue.
"You know," Chakotay says softly. "I should have known
something wasn't right, right from the start. Our captors were
far too nice."
"What do you mean? I think giving us leola root stew was damn
He laughs. "Haven't you noticed how comfortable this bunk is?"
"Well, now that you mention it..."
"It's as comfortable as my own bed. And pillows? Not to
mention the towels."
I join in his laughter and we're still chuckling when the
transporter beam engulfs us and we arrive in sickbay.
B'Elanna and I follow the Captain into sickbay and I'm pleased
to see Tom and Chakotay holding hands as the Doc waves a
tricorder over them.
"Gentlemen! It's so good to have you back," she says with a
"It's good to be back, Captain," they say.
"Chakotay," Tom says suddenly. "You know I love you with all my
heart, so I hope you understand that this is something I have to
He steps away from Chakotay and up to the Captain. Before
anyone can guess his intent, he grabs her by the shoulders and
pulls her in for a deep, searing kiss. B'Elanna and I gaze at
each other in shock as the kiss continues.
Chakotay clears his throat and Tom pulls away, leaving the
Captain breathless and shaky. He steps over to me, and sure
enough, grabs me by the shoulders and locks his lips with mine.
I feel a little breathless and shaky myself when he pulls away
and turns to B'Elanna. She grins at him and pulls his head down
to mesh mouths.
As soon as their kiss finishes Tom moves purposefully towards
the Doc, who steps back waving a hypospray around in the air.
"One step closer, Mr. Paris, and I'll inject you with this
sample of Regallian Flu."
"Doc, I'm just trying to say thank you."
"Thank you will suffice," the Doc sniffs.
"But I don't feel that's enough. You've helped make me the
happiest man alive, and..."
"That can't be true, Tom," Chakotay interrupts. "*I'm* the
happiest man alive."
They stand there grinning at one another for several seconds
before Chakotay turns to the Captain. "How did you manage to
"We were lucky that your captors were headed in our direction.
They flew straight into us."
"Talk about a coincidence," Tom exclaims, failing miserably to
keep a straight face. The Captain refuses to look at him,
keeping her eyes on Chakotay instead.
"It was a simple matter to negotiate your release."
"I'll bet it was," Tom murmurs.
There's a twinkle in Chakotay's eyes as well, and the Captain
sighs. "You know. Tom told you."
"No. He didn't have to."
"We thought you'd be a little upset with us."
"I'm too happy to be upset. But I would like to add my thanks
to Tom's. I don't know if we ever would have sorted things out
without your help. Now, if you'll excuse us, Tom and I still
have a few things to discuss."
"Of course. I think you both need a day to recover from your
ordeal before returning to duty. What do you think, Doctor?"
"In my expert medical opinion, I couldn't agree more."
The Captain sighs happily as they leave arm in arm. "I do like
a happy ending and I believe those two are going to be very
"Me, too," B'Elanna says, wiping her eyes with the back of her
"Me, three," I grin.
We turn to leave, but the Doc halts me in my tracks. "Mr. Kim,
where do you think you're going? Mr. Paris is not back on duty
yet. You'll be required to work in here until he returns."
"But, there's nothing happening in here."
"That's why I thought it was a good opportunity to practice your
"Childbirth, Mr. Kim. It's your next lesson."
"It's not necessary to learn that. I'll only be in here for the
rest of today and tomorrow."
"It would pay to be prepared. You never know what may happen."
"But, no one's even pregnant."
"That could change at any moment."
"Even if someone's out there getting pregnant as we speak, they
won't be giving birth in the next couple of days."
"I think a true holographic representation of the event should
be your first step," the Doc says, ignoring me completely. I
can hear the Captain and B'Elanna smothering their laughter as
they step out into the corridor.
"You're really going to sink the boot in for these last couple
of days, aren't you, Doc?" I ask sulkily.
"I don't know what you mean. Now, where did I put that
"So, what did you want to discuss?" Tom asks as soon as he's
seated on my couch.
"I can't think of a single thing at the moment," I answer.
"I thought you told the Captain we had some things to discuss."
"I did, and I'm sure we will have in the days ahead, but I can't
think of anything right now. Except for the one obvious thing,
"Oh. You want to know why I didn't tell you when I realized
what was really going on. I'm sorry, I know I should have,
but... well... when I woke up from my supposed panic attack,
I wanted to sort a few things out in my own head. Why the
Captain and the others had gone to so much trouble was a very
big issue with me.
"They obviously wanted us to be together. They were convinced
we could be happy, and I started to wonder why I was so
convinced I'd end up even more miserable than I was. I knew I
was in love with you and deep down I knew you loved me too.
You're the first person I've ever truly felt I could tell
anything to. Anything.
"I've always kept some things back from people. Even Harry and
B'Elanna. But with you it's different. Not only do I want to
let you know all there is to know about me, I want to know
everything there is to know about you too."
I pull him up from the couch and into my arms. "It's the same
for me, Tom. I feel exactly the same way."
"It made me realize that you were the one for me. The *only*
one for me, Chakotay. I knew then that if I didn't take the
chance that the Captain and the others had offered us, to sort
things out, I'd regret it for the rest of my life."
"I'm glad you took that chance, Tom." We kiss passionately for
some time before breaking apart. "Thank you for telling me that,
but I had something else in mind to discuss actually."
"Yes, but I think it can wait a bit longer. I need a shower."
"Me, too. Do you want to meet for dinner?"
"Meet? Are you going somewhere?"
"I thought I'd go back to my quarters and shower and change."
"You could shower here," I wink suggestively.
"Well... yes, but I don't have any clothes to change into."
"Oh dear, now there's a problem. Tom, after our shower I have a
very important matter to discuss with you, and to be honest,
you're not going to need any clothes for it."
"I made a promise to you, Tom. And I take my promises very
seriously. You asked me to show you the best way to have anal
sex, and, well... a promise is a promise."
He laughs as he takes off his jacket and throws it on the couch.
"I suppose I can always put these through the fresher. It's not
like I'm going to be needing them for a while."
"I have every intention of your not needing them until it's time
to report for duty," I tell him as he takes off his boots.
"I like the sound of that," he says with a grin, pulling off his
turtleneck and t-shirt.
"Um... Tom? Unless something happened in that cell that I don't
know about, that was my turtleneck you were wearing."
"It was?" He looks down at the commander pips on the collar and
then over at my own collar. "Do you think they noticed?"
"I would think so."
Laughing, I hold him once more, burying my face in his neck and
gliding my hands over his back and down to the waistband of his
pants. Since he's already unfastened them it's an easy matter
to slide them down, and soon they're pooling around his ankles.
He moans as I nuzzle at his neck. "I think you need to get
"I think you may be right," I groan, pulling myself away from
him. Desire courses through me as my eyes roam over his body,
taking in every detail as he steps out of his pants and shorts
and reaches out to pull me against him once more.
"Let me help you," he whispers and soon I'm as naked as he is.
Taking his hand, I lead him into the bathroom and turn on the
shower, then we both step in under the spray. We use the soap to
gently caress each other's bodies, taking our time to explore
every inch of one another, moving together slowly and sensually.
I can feel my climax building gradually within me. It's a
continuous, steady climb upwards, and feels so wonderful that I
begin to cry out. Tom cries with me and we reach our goal
together, falling to the floor of the shower stall when our legs
will no longer hold us up.
It's some time before either of us can move and we almost crawl
from the stall, standing up slowly. I grab a towel and gently
dry Tom off, as he seems incapable of doing it for himself.
Leading him over to the bed, I help him to lie down and then
towel myself off quickly.
My heart almost breaks when I see tears streaming down his
face. "Spirits, Tom. What is it?"
"I... that... was so beautiful," he chokes out. "I never... I
feel so wonderful. I... It's never felt that good before."
I sigh with relief and lie down next to him, pulling him into my
arms. "It's never felt like that for me either."
We lay entwined for a long time, just enjoying the feeling of
being together, and then slowly begin to kiss over and over
Our kisses become harder, hungrier, as the passion between us
builds higher and higher.
"I want you to take me," Tom whispers huskily as we part to take
in great gulps of air.
"Are you sure?"
I grope around in the bedside table for the lube and tell him to
lie on his back with his knees up. He looks a little nervous.
"This won't hurt, will it?"
"Not if I do it properly, and I intend to do it properly." I
kiss him softly. "Please don't worry. I love you. I'll never
do anything to hurt you."
He nods, his eyes full of love. "I know. I trust you."
I prepare him carefully, tenderly, savoring every moment, until
neither of us can wait any longer. He's more than ready for me
as I place two pillows under him and lift his legs up over my
Our joining is slow and gentle, gradually escalating until we're
both sobbing with the intensity of the powerful emotions flowing
between us. This is the culmination of the feelings we share.
It's more than just making love. We're fusing our hearts, minds
and souls together, knowing we'll never be apart again. We'll
never be the same again.
We scream out as our climaxes hit us simultaneously, so strong,
so intense, that it feels almost as if we've been transported
from our bodies and are hovering above for a few moments. We
both collapse and then hold one another tightly, tears streaming
from our eyes as we slowly calm down.
Feeling too sated to move, I can only moan as Tom eventually
rolls me off of him, kisses me gently, and then climbs out of
bed. He returns quickly, cleans us both up, kisses me soundly
once more, and then snuggles in against me again.
"You *are* all right, aren't you?" he asks softly. "You didn't
have a heart attack or anything, did you?"
"Very funny," I mumble, wondering if I can summon up the energy
to pinch his ass. I decide I can... barely.
"Tom, there's no such thing as a dipshit," I say tiredly,
yawning loudly. "If you're going to call me something, then at
least make it something that I know."
"That's better. Now I know what you're talking about. I'm an
authority on assholes."
He laughs into my neck. "God, I love you."
Tears gather in my eyes and I hold him as tightly as I can. "I
love you too, Tom. I love you too."
I watch Chakotay as he sleeps. He's such a beautiful man. I
thank all the Gods that he loves me as much as I love him. I
trace his tattoo with my fingers, over and over again and then
lean forward to kiss his forehead. My fingers glide lower and I
trace the outline of his face and then trail them down his neck
I pull him close and he moans into my chest. Is it really
possible to love somebody this much? I swallow the lump of
happiness that forms in my throat at the thought.
Caressing his back, I slowly move my hands lower until I'm
running my hands along his buttocks, lightly dipping my fingers
in and out of the cleft of his ass.
I feel him shiver and he gives a small groan.
"Your hands," he mumbles.
"What about my hands?" I say, sucking on his neck.
"Were you touching my ass while I was asleep?"
"No, I was not," I reply with a laugh, delving into the cleft
He groans again and ducks his head down to lick my nipple. "I
think it's time you stopped playing with it and used it," he
teases. I cry out as he suddenly growls and bites me and then
takes my poor abused nipple into his mouth and sucks on it
I curse loudly when he stops, reaches behind me, and then sits up.
He pulls me up to sit beside him and slaps the tube of lube into
my hand. "Now that I've shown you what to do, it's your turn,
"Helmboy, is it?" I laugh, biting his shoulder. "Okay,
Chuckles, roll over. I think I need to see what I'm doing,
otherwise anything may happen."
"Promises, promises," he teases rolling onto his stomach and
looking over at me expectantly.
"All right, you asked for it," I say, squeezing more and more
lube onto my finger. "Look out below," I warn, thrusting the
digit in with no remorse.
Chakotay jumps at the sudden assault. "Tom!"
"Yes, Chakotay?" I ask innocently, wriggling my finger around a
little. "Oh, dear! Did I do something wrong? I thought that's
what you're supposed to do."
"I'll get you... for... that..." I add another finger. "Oh...
Spirits! Oh... Tom!"
"I love you too, Chakotay," I say softly. "I love you too."
Thank you everyone for all the wonderful support and
feedback throughout the writing of this. It's appreciated
more than I can ever say. And I'd like to add a very
special thanks to Monica for all her helpful thoughts and
ideas and a very big hug to Jean for helping me through a
bad case of insecurity and nerves that seemed to hit me
right before the end.