CONTINUING THE MEMORIES
BY T’PAMStandard Disclaimer: Tom, Katherine and the rest of the crew, belong to Paramount. (Except of course for the ones I made up myself.) No copyright infringement is intentional. This story is for fun only - no profit will be made.
Part Two
Tom slipped quietly into his seat behind the helm. He tried to concentrate on his readouts but he couldn’t help mulling over what Harry had said. Harry was wrong. He just didn’t understand. Hopefully, over time he would.
He sighed as he remembered the Commander’s greeting to him that morning. It had been less than friendly. Frosty was more like it. He made a few slight course adjustments and settled back into his seat.
He looked up when a hand came down on his shoulder. "May I ask why you’ve decided to change course? Without any consultation I might add." Chakotay glared down at him.
"There’s some space debris ahead. Nothing too much, but I thought it would make a smoother ride if we avoided it." Tom was surprised. He’d been left pretty much on his own to fly the ship over the last few years. Only in the first year had he had to report every little course deviation. "Why? Is something wrong?"
"I see. And you just decided this, did you? You didn’t think that we might like to be informed?"
Tom’s eyed narrowed slightly. "As a matter of fact, no I didn’t. They were very small course adjustments."
"Yes, but you made three of them. Put together they’re a little more significant."
"Commander, I do this all the time." Tom wasn’t quite sure what he had done wrong.
Chakotay continued to glare at him. "Next time, let us know." He lowered his voice. "Don’t get above your station Ensign," he said softly. So softly that no one else on the bridge could hear.
Tom flushed angrily. "I wasn’t aware I was - Sir," he said just as softly. "You’ve trusted me to do this for the past four years. What’s changed?"
"I don’t think I like your attitude, Ensign."
Tom’s flush, crept around to the back of his neck. "I’m sorry Sir, but it’s the only one I’ve got."
"Don’t get smart, Paris."
"Is everything all right?" Janeway asked stepping down beside them.
"Yes Captain," Tom said quickly. "The Commander and I are just discussing some minor course adjustments."
The Captain looked at him for a moment, before nodding. "Commander, I’ll be in my ready room catching up on some paperwork. You have the bridge."
Tom sighed as he heard Chakotay go and sit back down. It had taken many years for him to gain the admiration and trust of the Commander and now it seemed as if he was right back at the beginning again.
Chakotay picked him up on a number of things not done quite right as the morning progressed. By lunchtime, Tom was feeling worn out. He’d managed to keep his temper - just, and answer the Commander quietly and respectfully at all times.
As he headed for the turbolift, to get a quick bite to eat, the Captain came out of her ready room. "Is it lunchtime already? I think I’ll join you Tom," she said casually and stepped into the lift beside him. Chakotay threw them a mocking look.
As soon as the doors closed Tom sank back against the far wall.
Janeway turned to him sympathetically. "He was giving you a hard time, wasn’t he?"
Tom shrugged. "It wasn’t that bad. I’ll live."
She frowned at him. "He promised me at breakfast that he’d leave us alone. He apologized for last night and seemed sincere."
Tom ran his hand tiredly through his hair. "He probably was. I just bring out the worst in him."
"But everything’s been so good between you the last couple of years. I think I’d better have another little talk with him. I don’t want him picking on you."
Tom frowned at her. "Don’t do that. It’ll just make matters worse. What did you tell Chakotay last night? You’re a big girl now and don’t need a protector? Well that goes for me too." He looked down at himself. "Well at least about the protector bit."
Janeway smiled at him, but then sobered. "I’d speak to him if I thought he was treating any of the crew unfairly. Not just you."
Tom nodded as they headed for the mess hall. "I know you would. But give it time. He’ll come round. I’ve handled a lot worse than him, let me tell you. I can understand why he thinks I’m taking advantage of you. Hell, even Harry does."
"Harry?" She stopped mid-stride and Tom came to a halt next to her. "I could see you were having a fairly intense conversation this morning at breakfast, but you’re his best friend. Surely he knows you better than that?"
"He says I’ve confused my feelings for you. That I’ve mistaken the respect and admiration I have for you with love, because of all I’ve been through the last few weeks. He thinks I’ve talked myself into it and you’re still mixed up with the implanted memories. I tried to tell him he was wrong, but he wouldn’t listen."
"We expected some opposition. Do you think you can handle it? I think this is only the beginning."
Tom nodded. "I told you before Kath, as long as I’ve got you, nothing else matters."
"Well, you’ve certainly got me Ensign," she said smiling up at him.
He smiled back down at her, just as Ensigns Potts and Turner came around the corner. "Captain. Tom," they greeted, giving them a curious glance before heading into the mess hall. Tom gave a small laugh. "I can already see the wheels turning there. You’d better prepare yourself. We’re about to be gossiped about."
"Well let’s get in there and see if we can hear any of it," Janeway laughed. "I haven’t heard any good gossip for weeks." Tom laughed as well. Kath had the right idea. Make light of the whole thing, that way it wouldn’t get either of them down.
And sure enough, as they ate their lunch, they could feel more and more eyes on them. There was quite a bit of whispering going on too. By dinnertime that night, there was speculation all around the ship.
Neelix made his way over to the table where most of the late lunch crew had gravitated. As Morale Officer, he told himself, it was his duty to keep abreast of the latest gossip. And he was quite sure that that was what was happening at the far table. There had been quiet whisperings going on for quite a while and as soon as the Captain had left the room the voices had grown louder and more and more people had become involved.
"You’re crazy," he heard Ensign Hamilton say as he approached. "The Captain and Tom have always been close. There’s nothing romantic about it though. All that talk a few weeks ago about them wasn’t true."
"I know what I saw," Ensign Potts said with a toss of her hair. "I am absolutely positive there is something going on between them."
Neelix felt a little surprised. Hadn’t all that ridiculous talk been cleared up weeks ago? What had started this latest round?
"But the Captain doesn’t get involved with anyone. It’s against Starfleet protocols or something," someone objected.
"We’re stuck in the Delta Quadrant. Things are different out here," Turner argued. "We both saw them. They’ve been together a lot lately too."
Neelix gave a little start. Saw them? Tom and the Captain? He stood and stared at the group of crewmen, not even pretending to wipe down the table behind them.
"Do you think that’s why B’Elanna broke up with him? Something did happen when the Captain and he were prisoners of the Mostreterians? A lot of people thought so a few weeks ago," Crewman Hicks asked.
"I don’t know. Tom and B’Elanna are awfully friendly. She would have killed him if he’d cheated on her," Hamilton said. "Anyway, they tortured Tom - remember. The Captain was worried about him. He didn’t look too good there for a few weeks. We all were worried."
Neelix listened as the crew speculated about what was going on - if anything - between two of his favorite people. He felt a little upset. The crew was jumping to conclusions. He’d noticed himself that the Captain and Tom were eating a lot of their meals together, which was a little unusual, and there was a lot of laughter at their table. That didn’t mean anything.
Tom had always gotten on very well with the Captain. He got along well with most people, once they got to know him. He had always been able to make her laugh. The Captain often sat with the senior officers in the mess hall these days. All right, usually there was a group of them or otherwise it was Tuvok or Chakotay she sat with alone, but she did sit with the others sometimes too.
He was sure that there was nothing going on here. The crew was just running out of things to gossip about. B’Elanna wouldn’t appreciate hearing this though. He decided he’d better stop this. "Excuse me everyone, I couldn’t help overhearing what you were discussing and I have to tell you that you are all very much mistaken." As all eyes turned to him, he launched into all the reasons why none of what they were thinking could possibly be true.
By the time everyone had left the mess hall to go back on duty, Neelix was reasonably sure that he’d been able to nip this latest gossip in the bud. All afternoon he thought about it though.
He had secretly thought for a number of years that Tom had a crush on the Captain. That wasn’t surprising. She was a beautiful, intelligent, compassionate woman. He was sure a lot of the crew did. He even had a slight crush on her himself. But that was all it was.
The Captain would never get involved with one of her crew. Not that she didn’t deserve some happiness. He had just always assumed that eventually she and Commander Chakotay would end up together. It was the only solution.
Of course, she cared about Tom. She cared about all of them. If it seemed that she cared about Tom a little more, Neelix was sure that that had something to do with his father. Plus there was something about Tom. He’d hated him when he’d first met him. That was until he’d got to know him. He was a rather special person.
By the time the dinner rush had started, Neelix had even convinced himself. The Captain and Tom were friends; that was all. And the Captain was allowed to have friends, for Pete’s sake. That was a saying he’d picked up from Tom. Neelix was still a little unsure as to who this Pete was, but the saying was appropriate.
B’Elanna sniffed the strange concoction on her plate and looked back at Neelix. "It smells all right, it’s just the color Neelix. You’ve got to stop using the food dye."
"But it’s a wonderful invention. It brightens up everything. That casserole looked so boring until I added just a touch of orange to it."
"Are you sure it was just a touch? It looks like you poured the whole bottle in." She sighed as she patted his shoulder. "Brightly colored food is a little off putting Neelix. I’m sure I’m not the only one who feels likes this."
"Perhaps I did use a little too much dye. I wasn’t concentrating properly at the time."
"Is everything all right?"
"Oh, why yes thank you." Her gave her a bright smile before turning to the next person in the line.
B’Elanna looked around for a place to sit. As soon as she spotted Tom and Harry sitting at a table over by the window, she hurried over to join them. As she got closer her eyes narrowed. Tom looked upset and Harry looked angry.
"Hi!" she said plunking herself down next to Tom. "What’s up?" They both looked a little startled at her abrupt appearance.
"Hi yourself," Tom answered with a smile. It didn’t quite reach his eyes, however.
B’Elanna looked across at Harry. Yep, he was definitely mad about something. "What’s wrong?"
"Nothing," Tom answered. He gave Harry a look.
"Yeah - nothing," Harry repeated dully.
"Yeah - right," B’Elanna said with a snort. "Are you two having a fight?"
"Of course not," they both said at once.
B’Elanna turned around suddenly. She had the distinct impression that some one was watching her. Quite a few faces quickly turned away as she scanned the room. She turned back to her two silent companions. "Is it just my imagination, or are we being stared at?"
"No, we’re being stared at." Harry winced as Tom kicked him under the table. "Ow! Cut it out."
B’Elanna turned to Tom. "What’s going on? Is there something I should know about?"
"Tell her," Harry said through gritted teeth, as he leaned down and rubbed his throbbing shin. "She’s going to find out anyway."
"Tell me what?" There was a definite edge to her voice now. The only reason she was able to remain calm at all was because of the miserable look on Tom’s face.
"I was hoping that maybe we could go somewhere quiet after dinner and have a little talk. I need to tell you something. I wanted you to be one of the first to know, but everything’s really blown up in the last few hours. It seems to be all over the ship."
"What?" B’Elanna looked at him in confusion. "What are you talking about? I don’t think I can wait until after dinner. You’d better tell me now."
Tom swallowed. "I’m seeing some one."
B’Elanna stared at him. "I see. Is that why the crew is watching us? They’re waiting for me to explode in some sort of jealous rage? Well, they’re in for a disappointment. Our break up was mutual Tom. I thought everyone understood that. I just want to see you happy. Is it serious?"
"Yes," Tom nodded. "I think so. We’ve been together for just over a week."
B’Elanna took his hand in hers. "I’m glad. I mean it. Don’t rush into anything though, okay?"
"We’re taking things slow at the moment."
"That’s good." She shook her head in disbelief. "I don’t believe this crew. It will all blow over by tomorrow."
"I don’t think so," Harry decided to butt in. "Tom hasn’t told you everything."
Tom sighed. "Harry’s right. You haven’t asked whom I’m seeing. It’s the Captain."
"Oh? The Captain? I see," B’Elanna said slowly. She turned to Harry. "I take it that all those stories from a few weeks ago have started again? About how something happened between them when they were captured and that they were carrying on behind my back?"
Harry nodded, his eyes glittering angrily. "There are some rather mean stories going around about the Captain too. That she took Tom away from you."
B’Elanna sniffed angrily. "I don’t like people gossiping about me. Especially if it makes me look like some sort of fool."
"I’m sorry B’Elanna," Tom said miserably. "I never wanted you to be hurt by this. I wish I knew how to fix it all."
"Stop seeing her Tom," Harry said fiercely. "That’s all it will take. People will think they were wrong about the two of you and that will be that."
"How can you ask me to do that Harry? Did you stop seeing Tahl when you were told to? My feelings for Kath are no different than yours were for Tahl."
Harry ran his hands through his hair in agitation. "Don’t call her that! And my feelings for Tahl were entirely different. They were real. Yours are a fantasy. Make-believe."
"Harry!" B’Elanna exclaimed, a little surprised at Harry’s vehemence. "I don’t why you’re so upset. If anyone should be upset around here - it’s me."
"I just don’t like some of the stuff being said about the Captain."
"Oh, but they can say whatever they like about me, I suppose?" Tom choked out.
"That’s not what I meant. The Captain can’t help what the Mostreterians did to her or how she feels now because of it. You just have to wake up to the fact that it’s not real."
"But it is real Harry," Tom’s voice was low and insistent. "Now back off Harry. I mean it."
"No. If your best friend can’t tell you, who can?" Harry leaned forward and whispered fiercely. "I hate to think what Chakotay and the Doc will say when they find out. This is putting the Captain’s recovery back."
"The Captain is fine. She’s fully recovered. Jeez Harry, why won’t you listen to me?"
"Why won’t you listen to me? This is sick."
Tom flinched visibly and leaned forward also. "Harry, you’re my friend - but I’m warning you. Shut up - NOW!"
B’Elanna grabbed hold of his arm. "Come on. Let’s get out of here. We’ll go back to my quarters and talk about this properly. We don’t want to add any more fuel to the fire do we?"
The three of them stood up and marched out of the room as quickly as they could.
As Harry walked along beside Tom, he wondered if he’d pushed him a little too far. The pilot was deathly pale and shaky. B’Elanna held onto his arm and guided him along the corridor. Harry felt worried. He knew that Tom had had a hard day at the helm. Chakotay had picked on him non-stop and now all this on top of it.
Harry decided to back off. He just wished that Tom could see things in their proper perspective. As they entered B’Elanna’s quarters she turned around to him frowning. "Harry, I don’t know what the matter is with you, but I’m warning you - that’s enough."
He held up his hands. "Don’t worry, I’ve said all I have to say. I’m sorry if I’ve upset you Tom, but---"
Tom turned on him angrily. "But nothing. This is none of your business Harry. I owe B’Elanna an explanation, but I owe you nothing. I told you because I was hoping that you would be happy for me. Obviously, you’re not."
Harry’s heart sank. He had been right to worry if he’d pushed Tom too far. Tom never lost his temper with him, but he certainly had now. And B’Elanna was frowning at him as well. She was still very protective of Tom, even though they were no longer together. That was rather funny really, considering the circumstances. He didn’t feel like laughing though.
"Of course I want you to be happy, Tom. I’m just so worried that you’re going to be hurt. The Captain too."
"Hopefully that’s not going to happen. We’re willing to take the chance though." Tom sank down on the sofa and B’Elanna sat next to him. "Are you mad at me too? You have every right to be. I’ve jumped into a relationship with the Captain only weeks after breaking up with you and assuring you that there was nothing between us. At the time there wasn’t. I hope you believe me."
B’Elanna nodded and patted his arm. "I do. I’m not mad either. Not even surprised really. I’ve always known that there was something special between you. I just didn’t want to acknowledge what it was though. You never even realized it yourself."
Harry looked at her in surprise. "You’re not angry?"
She smiled up at him. "I guess I got over my anger weeks ago. Plus, um, I think I should tell you. I’m seeing some one else too."
"You are?" Harry was amazed. No wonder B’Elanna was so understanding. "Are you serious? Who is it?"
B’Elanna flushed a little. "It’s Chan Mangrove from Security. It’s not serious or anything yet, that’s why I haven’t said anything, but it could be."
Tom smiled. "Mangrove is a nice guy." He gave her a hug. "I hope things work out."
"Thanks Tom. I hope they do for you too. Only, you promised me you wouldn’t rush into anything - remember? I know you said that you were taking things slowly, promise me you will continue to do so. I can’t help feeling a little concerned about it all, the same as Harry. I truly hope that the Captain’s feelings are genuine and not still from the implant."
"They are B’Elanna. They are. But I promise anyway."
"Then I wish you both happiness. I’ll tell the Captain so too."
Harry frowned darkly as Tom thanked her. This wasn’t the way it was supposed to go. B’Elanna was supposed to help him make Tom see how wrong a relationship with the Captain was. Tom stood up again and came over to him, a serious expression in his eyes.
"Har? It means a lot to me that you care so much. You’re a good friend."
Harry shook his head. "Then listen to me."
B’Elanna stood up in exasperation. "Harry, what is your problem? If I can wish Tom all the best, why the hell can’t you?"
"Because it’s wrong. The Captain shouldn’t be going out with Tom. She’s special."
"I know she’s special Harry, that’s why I love her so much."
"Enough!" Harry yelled. "How would you like it if I suddenly started going out with your mother? How would that make you feel?"
Tom’s mouth opened wide but no sound came out. He was left completely speechless. B’Elanna grabbed hold of Harry, and swinging him around to look at her, yelled. "What are you talking about Starfleet? Are you crazy?"
Harry pushed himself away from her. "That’s the way I feel about her," he said quietly.
"You look upon the Captain as a mother figure?" B’Elanna asked.
Harry nodded. "I thought you felt about her the same way that I did, Tom."
"Harry," Tom said quietly. "Katherine is not old enough to be my mother. Hell, unless she had you when she was very, very young; she’s not even old enough to be yours. Besides the fact that she’s not your mother."
"Oh Harry!" B’Elanna added. "You’re a grown man. Surely you realize that the Captain deserves a life and some happiness."
"Of course I do," Harry agreed vigorously. "It’s not the age thing. It’s just that it’s you, Tom. It feels weird that she would be going out with my best friend."
"You are crazy," B’Elanna said dryly. "What are you saying? That you’d be happy for her if she was going out with anybody but Tom?"
"I don’t know. Maybe." Harry flinched as Tom stepped towards him, his eyes blazing.
"You think that I’m using her. Taking advantage of the situation to feather my own nest."
"No Tom. I didn’t say that."
"That’s what you meant this morning when you said, ‘Tom; how could you? She’s still getting over those implanted memories’. Do you really believe that I would do something like that? Or is it just that you don’t want your darling mother figure to be with some one as immoral and unscrupulous as me. After all, I am an ex-con. Prison scum. Go ahead and tell me what you really think of me after all these years."
"Tom, you’re my best friend," Harry protested.
"Yeah, just so long as I don’t try to get above my station."
"No."
But Tom was heading towards the door. He turned back to look at B’Elanna. "I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go." The doors slid shut behind him.
Harry turned to look at B’Elanna, with a stupefied look on his face. "I don’t think any of that. Where did all that come from anyway?"
B’Elanna ran her hands through her hair. "I don’t know. But I intend to find out."
End Part Two