Title: Prelude to a Kiss
Series: Dark Desires (this is part I)
Author: Kim R. a.k.a. MYSTIC
Pairing: C/m
Rating: R for language and m/m sex
Disclaimer: Paramount owns these boys, for if I did, do you think I'd share?
Hehehe
Summary: Chakotay's tired of the way things are and then gets an unexpected
offer that may change is life forever.
Archive: Please, but remember this is my story. If you want to use any of
the idea, just ask me...thanks.
Feedback: mysticmcknight@hotmail.com (please)

"Prelude to a Kiss"


"That's nice, Commander," Janeway replied off the cuff as she paid
attention to what Neelix and Tuvok were saying about the up coming system.

//Bitch did it again! // He roared in his mind, though to all around him,
he was quiet, his usual quiet self. He had tried to bring some other
perspective to this conversation on whether or not to contact the Vampirs,
the ruling class of this system that was hundred light years across no
matter what direction they wanted to go, except back. But once again Janeway
dismissed her First officer as if he had said nothing at all. He was getting
very tired of this. At first he understood that he had to prove himself, for
the crew union was fresh, and in fact she needed him. But now, all these
years later, especially the last three, Janeway hadn't needed him for much
of anything except a figurehead, and he was getting tired of it.

The decision on how to handle things was made and once again Seven's
opinion held more weight then his own, so after a few minutes of proper
protest he gave up, like the Captain knew he would. //What's the point,// he
thought. //She's going to get things her way, so why bother. // He thought
as he moved back to his chair and dabbled in his second form of
self-torture, staring at Tom Paris.

Being a useless First Officer was bad enough, but he still could do some
stuff and some of the Marquis did still look up to him, though fewer and
fewer as time went on. But his discovery that he was in love with Tom Paris,
ships lady's man, was the worst and had coincided with his three years of
hell. It was more than the fact that Tom was straight, it was that no one
saw him as anything but the perfect prim First Starfleet Officer and not a
man with wants and needs. This persona was becoming unbearable.

He sat quiet as the Captain spoke with a member of the Council that was
part of the Vamir class that ruled Dark Haven (roughly translated). He first
stared at the blond wisp of Tom's hair, then his delicate fingers across the
helm and once again wondered what it would be like to know that touch. But
then his mind flashed back to all the times he tried to get to know Tom.or
anyone really. Last night was a prime example. He worked so hard into being
the perfect officer, an example that the Marquise could follow, that he
found that people believed that was all he was.it wasn't true. He had been
in the bar, something he tried doing to spend time with folks, but he knew
that his very presence brought the tone of the place down, even more so than
the Captain's did. Last night he tried to test the waters at just being
himself, it was a total disaster.

He had been sitting there quietly watching Tom play pool and win another
days worth of rations when he finally had enough of just watching. He put
his coffee cup down, which really had scotch in it, no one could believe
that he drank, but that was his fault. He put up the false facade now had to
deal with it. He moved up and said hello to Tom, going to ask him for a
game, but when he saw all the eyes of all the crew in the bar stop what they
were doing and stare, the best he could manage was "Nice game," and made his
way back to his quarters. Yeah, he painted himself in a corner and it didn't
help that no one wanted him out of it but himself.

He was tired inside and out, and he was lonely, not just for a lover but a
friend. What he thought he found in Kathryn was not strong and in fact since
Seven arrived, it had been less and less, leaving him on his own. It's not
the first time he's been on his own, but he was tired and getting old and he
felt like a man in a vast Paradise that had all you need to survive and he
was dying of starvation and thirst for it was all denied to him.because he
was the 'Mystic Warrior, the Prefect Officer, the Strong man that doesn't
need anything' Bullshit!

He went about his shift more and more quietly, the only one even noticing
was Tom who doubled his efforts to annoy him, but lately none of it got
through. When the Captain ordered him to take shore leave, figuring she get
a protest, she didn't. //anything to get off this ship,// he thought, hoping
some fresh air might ease how he was hurting inside. Just before he left to
go down to the planet of ShaNo, Kathryn actually took a moment and asked if
he was all right. But it had been far too long and too much had happened or
didn't happen that he wasn't inclined to speak with her on any personal
issues anymore. He didn't tell her that over a year ago he couldn't even get
in touch with his animal guide, though he's sure it's because he's still
angry at her for laughing at him. "You made you nest, now either lie in it
or make a new one," she had said with amused eyes. He was furious, didn't
she understand, that he couldn't take it anymore, and no one would let him
change, any attempt was met with suspicion and concern and his fear of the
crew not accepting him was too much. No.he was in hell, a hell of his own
doing with no way out.

He beamed down to the dark planet, for it was in the dark or grey over 85
percent of the time. He saw Harry begging Tom to follow him, and as much as
he wanted to get to know Tom more, for he knew him better than people
thought, for he observed him so much. He knew his mouth was a defense for
his deeper feelings. He knew he was a good and kind person that would risk
his life in a second for others. He knew he loved him, not just because Tom
was beautiful on the outside, but because of how beautiful he saw him to be
on the inside. Sadly, Harry won out and he just gave them his blessing as it
were and moved away. He didn't have plans so he just wondered around the
city, taking in the sites and the people.

He didn't have a clue as to where he was going nor did he care. He walked
and saw some of the crew in the distance and would turn down another road,
trying to escape their ever-prying judgmental eyes. He was now moving down
a long populated side street when he saw the little girl about to be
seriously injured as she was playing along the stone wall that boarded the
old fashion type bridge, as an older style of transportation, a carriage,
passed. It happened fast, but he was able to see that it was going to be an
innocent accident. The girl shouldn't have been up there and the vibrations
of the carriage was enough to cause her to lose he balance. Chakotay burst
into action and caught the little girl by the foot as she was about to
plummet fifty feet to the river below. A woman had screamed and just as he
had the little girl up and safe an older woman grabbed the child, blessing
him for being there.

As he stood there letting his own heart beat get back to normal as he
watched a grateful mother and child head home, he noticed that the carriage
had stopped and someone had gotten out and was standing at the edge of the
bridge. Figuring that they were concerned he moved over toward them. He saw
a beautiful woman, blond hair, bright eyes, and a warm friendly smile.
Chakotay didn't know why, but he liked her immediately, he wasn't attracted
to her, but he liked her, she seemed.kind. "The girl is fine," he said
politely.

"I can see that, thank you," she replied warmly. "The drive is most beside
himself, he didn't notice the girl on the wall or he would have slowed
down," she smiled. "If.well, we are very glad you were here," she finished.

"I'm just glad I didn't miss," he laughed, the nervous thought now shook
through him.

"His Lordship, Lord Nolan, would like to thank you as well, if you don't
mind that is," she said softly.

Chakotay looked at the young woman, "Lordship? I didn't know there was a
royal structure here?" he said innocently.

"Ah, well, the Catel are governed by the Council, but the Vamir are in a
rank structure, and our Lordship is.our Lord," she laughed.

Chakotay couldn't help but smile, the woman's laugh was like life, warm and
friendly. "I would be honored to meet his Lordship, so long as he won't take
my scruffy appearance in offense," He said softly.

"Not at all. He was taken by your bravery. This way, please," she said as
she started back toward the old fashion carriage and the four horses. "By
the way, I'm Rebecca St. Cloud," she says warmly. "And you would be?"

"Chakotay. Commander Chakotay of the USS Voyager. My people don't have
last names," he say so there wouldn't be any offense.

"A very strong name," a light strong voice rang forth from the carriage.

Chakotay looked up and saw the second most beautiful man in the universe,
Tom being first, this man ran a close second. His long dark Auburn hair
cupped his strong delicate features and enhanced his violet eyes that had a
soul-piercing gaze to them. His breath gave a small catch, and then he
composed himself, glad that it wasn't obvious that this young Lord had
stirred long neglected feelings. "Your Lordship," Chakotay said with full
respect. He couldn't help but feel that he was being drawn in and captured
by the deep Violet eyes, but where others may have felt fear, he felt wanted
and warm, so when he found he could blink, all he could do was smile.

"You are a kind and giving man to act so selfishly without thinking," the
Lord smiled easily. "Commander Chakotay.do you mind if I call you Tay?" he
asked casually.

"Not at all, your Lordship," Chakotay responded, not concerned if the first
name was one sided.

"I take it you are on some R&R, do you have any compatriots with you?" Lord
Nolan asked still warm and causal.

"Ah, no, Lordship. I was merely taking a long walk enjoying the sites of
you city, I guess the spirits moved me here in time to save the child," he
said, a smile of his own still on his face.

"Ah.a spiritual man, I see. Well, Tay, I was heading in town with Lady
Rebecca here, perhaps you would care to join me and some of my friends in an
evening of festivities, it is the lest I can do to thank you.and your
spirits for your gracious act," The young handsome Lord proposed.

//His eyes are so deep, // Chakotay mused, realizing where is thoughts were
going he shook them out of his head. "I am honored.."

"Then say yes," Nolan quipped.

"Yes, Tay. Please join us, I think there are many whom you would find
appealing company besides myself and his Lordship," Rebecca encouraged.

Chakotay thought about it a brief moment, "I'd be glad too, but my dress."

"Easily taken care off when we arrive," The Lord said as the carriage
driver opened the door and aided Lady Rebecca inside then waited till
Chakotay entered inside the large plush ride.

*************


It was late even by his standards and he couldn't bring himself to bring an
end to such a wonderful evening. Though Lord Nolan was only present at the
large gathering of the Vamir at one of the more refined taverns, a short
time, Lady Rebecca stayed and introduced him around. She was able to ease
past all his built up walls and encourage him to 'be himself' and for once
in a long time he was. He was laughing, joking, singing for pete's sake, and
even playing games with many of the others he had met.

He found Rebecca to be the epitmy of a true friend and loved her company
through out. She was the kind of women that could go from soft to one of the
boys in a heartbeat with no discomfort or lack of grace. Chakotay had first
started to envy her this ability, but as if she was reading his mind, she
said that she knew Chakotay could blend in anywhere he chose, but try just
being Chakotay and no one else for tonight.

He did so and renewed long forgotten aspects of himself as he found others
he enjoyed spending time with. A tall dark haired, blue eyed man called
Jarrod McKnight, and a red headed brick of a man called Yonish Tallot. In a
matter of hours he found out that Rebecca, Jarrod and Yonish served on
several ships with in the Lordships Amada, and that all things belonged to
the very powerful and well respected young Lord. He discovered that he had
so much in common with these people that after ten hours of time, he felt he
knew them all his life, and they were friends.

"It is good to have met you, Tay" prompted Jarrod, as he stood to go from
the table. He stretched, "I had a wonderful time and hope to see you again,"
he smiled. "But some of us have to get some rest and work tomorrow.or should
I say later today," he teased. He reached out his hand to Chakotay.

"Jarrod, the pleasure was all mind, and I do hope we can do this again
before I have to leave," he said, only with a touch of sadness at the
thought.

"I do as well," Jarrod returned and then whacked Yonish on the shoulder,
"Don't you have to check up on that aid of yours?" he said, as if some bad
cue to let their new friend get some rest.

"Ah.yes, yes I do," He said as he jumped up and shook Chakotay's hand like
iron. "If you about later tonight.I'll be looking to get even, I have a
reputation to keep up you know," he chuckled.

"I bet," Chakotay joked back warmly. "Don't think I don't know that you let
me win, I have no intentions of being the sacrificial lamb to your
slaughter," he laughed.

Yonish looked astonished, "You knew?"

Chakotay couldn't stop laughing, "Oh, yes. I Knew. We have someone on board
who's tried the same stunt on many, I know the set up well," he laughed.

"Damn! Taken in by a rookie," he whined as the others all laughed. "Ah,
well. Perhaps another game and I won't take it so easy on you," he smirked
warmly.

"I look forward to it. Good night," He bided the two men as they left. Then
he turned to Rebecca. "I can't say when I have had a more glorious time,
thank you."

Rebecca laughed, "No, Tay, thank you. I even saw his Lordship had a good
time till being called to tend his duties, and it has been.a while since he
has smiled so much, and I would know, so thank you. A room has been arranged
for you to stay here the night. Perhaps if your not so tired, we can do
lunch?" he asked.

"I would like that very much," Chakotay smiled and gave a small bow and
watched Lady Rebecca laugh as she bided him good night and left herself.
//Oh Spirits! This was wonderful! // He beamed. He moved to the innkeeper
and asked about his room. He was given a key and a note, which he read in
the confines of his room. It was an invitation to dinner tomorrow night. As
Chakotay got ready for bed by striping down to his short, he couldn't deny
how his heart jumped at the prospect of seeing the Lord again. //Smart,
witty, charming, intelligent, and very beautiful, // he thought as he turned
the lights out and laid down to sleep. His mind filling of fantasies of full
kissable lips, soft auburn hair, violet eyes, and strong delicate fingers
dancing across his skin.


*************

Chakotay was quiet surprised to find that clothes that fit him had been
sent by his Lordship for his stay here. He chose to wear them, not only
because he didn't want to offend anyone, but he rather liked their simple
elegant style. He also noticed that all the shirt he was sent bared the
markings of the Vamir, that which noted the ruling class from the rest of
the Society. As he dressed he reviewed what he saw during his walk, and he
was most impressed.

The planet was just as technically advanced as Earth or better, but still
in some ways kept to more conventional methods. Like the Lordships carriage,
when there were shuttle capability. The cobble stone streets that marked the
side ways as other areas were very modern. The only way he could describe it
was old earth and new earth combined. Plus the people seemed genuinely
happy, fulfilled with their lives. They were not over such, or under such,
but what he would expect from living in a good place. He found he liked it
here and with such wonderful people as those he met last night, he couldn't
begrudge them anything. //Only if I didn't have to go back, // he thought
for a moment. But he dismissed it as impossible and made his way to enjoy
lunch with his new friend Rebecca.

She was dressed much more casual than the lovely dress from last night. She
looked like a woman that could easily be a Starfleet Officer her self, off
duty, for her long blond hair was down. "Morning, Tay," she chimed with a
light tease.

Chakotay warmed immediately to her voice and presence. "Good afternoon,
Rebecca," he replied. "Did you get enough rest last night?"

"Oh indeed so," she laughed. "Did you?"

"Oh yes, I slept like a baby," he chuckled.

"Oh," she said sadly. "Up every other hour needing to be feed, I'm sorry."

Chakotay couldn't help but laugh at the silly quip. "Well, perhaps as a
log?"

Rebecca looked like another quip was on her lips but she swallowed it and
drank of her wine.

"Wine? So early in the.it is afternoon isn't?"

She laughed, "Ah, one must start early if one is to be prepared for the
evenings events," she joked and dismissed the rest of the subject. "And yes,
it is afternoon. The equivalent of 1300 hrs your time," he replied.

"Oh, I hope."

"Not at all, I though I was late, just got here myself," she assured him.
"I took the liberty to order you some food, hope you don't mind. Though I
was hungry earlier, so I've eaten already.hope you're not upset," she said
softly.

"Not at all. If your sure my eating won't offend you, for I'm starving," he
laughed.

"Not at all, Tay." She smiled brightly. "Tay, why don't you tell me a bit
more about your self and your ship.more your crew and why your spending this
R&R all alone?"

//Boy, just like B'Elanna. Doesn't pull any punches, // he thought. "Well,"
he said not sure what to say. Then he looked up at the woman he felt a close
friendship too, "It's a long story," he replied.

"I happen to like long stories," she quipped and sat back and listened to
Chakotay tell of his tale of the Marquise, the Caretaker, the two crews
becoming one, and his situation which he now found himself in. Then for some
strange reason he found himself telling her about Tom Paris. Before he knew
it, he had spilled his guts as it were, and she was there with him every
step of the way, interested and supportive.

"I'm sorry," he offered. I've spent the entire time talking about myself,
I'd like to know more about you," he added, feeling a bit off having been so
one sided.

Rebecca laughed warmly, "Oh please, Tay. I wanted to know. Any way, you
wanted to talk. A perfect match if you ask me," she laughed again. "But as
for myself, it'll have to wait. It's rather late and I do believe you
mentioned that you are to have dinner with his Lordship?" she asked a
knowing twinkle in her eyes. "Since he eats at 1900hrs your time and it take
close to twenty minutes by craft, two hours by carriage, you best be getting
ready," she finished.

"Ready? What time is it?"

"Oh, 1700hrs," she said nonchalantly, then grinned at Chakotay.

"1700hrs! You mean I've been talking for almost four hours?" he said a bit
shocked.