Title: Prelude to a Kiss
Series: Dark Desires (this is part I)
Author: Kim R. a.k.a. MYSTIC
Rating: R for language and m/m sex
Disclaimer: Paramount owns these boys, for if I did, do you think I'd share?
Summary: Chakotay's tired of the way things are and then gets an unexpected
offer that may change is life forever.
Archive: Please, but remember this is my story. If you want to use any of
the idea, just ask me...thanks.
"Yes. And I loved every minute of it," she replied sincerely. "I'm sure his
Lordship will send a shuttle for you, so." she says as she stands up. "I
hope to see you again before you leave," she says as she offers her hand.
"I do too," he replies with sincerity and hope in his tone. Then he shook
her hand and watched her leave. //Spirits! Four hours? // Then he
remembered, //that only give me less than two hours to get ready! // And
dashed upstairs to get dressed with great anticipation.
The mansion was not only large but also very beautiful and very elegant,
and done in a simple taste that showed great refinement. Chakotay felt his
stomach fluttered, here he has shared meals with Kings, Queens, Presidents,
Empress, and more, and as he walks through this grand hall he is more
nervous about having dinner with Lord Nolan. //Relax old man, its just a
meal, // he told himself, but he knew deep down he was hoping for more.
He entered in the room shown to him by one of the ushers and found it to be
of normal size and a classic oak table, set for two by the fireplace. //It's
just a meal, // he told himself again, as the flutter hit is stomach again,
as his eyes took in the romantic scene. //You couldn't be that lucky, // he
thought as he moved in and helped himself to a drink, after being told his
Lordship would be a few minutes late and to make himself comfortable.
He poured himself some brandy, knowing the laws about the wine and not
wanting to offend anyone. He wandered through the richly decorated room of
earth tones and find paintings of forests and horses. He noticed the fine
book collection and found himself staring at so many titles he never heard
of and even was compelled to pull one down from the shelf. Be it fate or
coincidence, it was a book of poetry. The first page he turned too spoke
volumes to his heart.
What is more prominent for my soul,
To stand in the midst of people and be alone
Or to stand in the midst of the forest and be accepted?
What more sings to my heart,
The sounds of obscurity of so many
Or the quiet lull of content silence?
What more moves me to joy
The dreams of others for me
Or my dreams within me?
What more makes me sorrow,
The empty touch of thousands
Or the single touch of love?
What more brings loneliness,
A world full of nobody
Or a world full of the one?
What more am I?
What more can I?
What more will be?
//What more indeed?// he asked himself as he closed the book.
"That's a good question, Tay," Nolan's voice echoed in the air.
Chakotay turned to see Lord Nolan standing by the table, dressed in a
simple white silk shirt with the Vamir crest and tight black pants. It was
again the simple aspect of it all that made him look so elegant and beyond
reproach. "Your Lordship?" he asked, unsure as to what this exquisite young
man was referring too.
"What more, Tay? What more do 'you' want from life?" he asked as he moved
closer to the older man and his eyes danced with concern and question.
Chakotay laughed slightly, "Oh, I didn't realized I. the poem," he said
gesturing to the book he just put back.
"Yes.the poem," Nolan stated knowingly as he now stood close to the dark
man before him. "I chose this room to have dinner in, for out of all the
rooms in all my homes, this one.this one has a way of.brining things
together," he said with a touch of mystery.
The Commander smiled and raised an amused put puzzled brow, "Together?"
"Yes, Tay. Together. Like you and that poem, you.and me?" he smiled
charmingly. "Think about it, Tay. Out of all the books in this room, and all
the pages, you chose that one book, that one page that reflected your soul.
Fate? Coincidence? Perhaps, but I chose fate. Just like I know it was fate
that on the one day I decide to ride through town our paths cross, when on
no other day would it had been possible. I call this fate, Tay. What would
you call it?" he asked as he moved even closer and was only inches away.
Chakotay could feel Nolan's presence like it was all encompassing and
struggled to breathe, though a good part of him only wanted to drown in it.
"My people would call it the hand of the Spirits," he replied, hoping that
his voice was more calm than he felt.
"I'd say that would be pretty much the same, no?" Nolan smiled. Then he let
his eyes lock with the older man's dark pools and let their souls mingle.
"Tell me, Tay. What do you want?" he whispered.
The violet eyes of Nolan pulled him in and he felt warm, welcomed, wanted,
and free like he never felt before. "This" he replied in a breath, "All
this." Then he felt cool lips brush against his own and his eyes closed as
the heat of passion filled him. He felt strong delicate hands slip around
his waist and pull him close. He felt a flick of a tongue and opened his
mouth to allow Nolan in and take and give all he wanted. When the kiss
broke, he found his heart pumping hard and his breath coming to him in
gasps, the kiss had been so intense.
"You are such a passionate creature, Tay. Why do you hid yourself, my
love?" he asked as he let his fingers caress the dark bronze skin of the
strong man before him. "I can't give you what you want, for you already have
it. But I can offer you the key to release it?" he said in a hushed tone.
Then he leaned in and kissed Chakotay again. This time harder with more
passion and let his body be grabbed by strong hands that pulled him in tight
and ran up and down his body, trying to take in all the need it had been
neglected for so long. When the kiss broke this time for need of air, and
Chakotay's heavy panting, he leered deep at the beautiful strong man, "May I
bed thee?" he asked in a whisper.
"Yes," he replied in a huff of air, his body and mind lost in the fire that
filled him, for he wanted whatever this man had to give him or take from
himself. Then he felt Nolan's lips caress against his again and he tasted
all that this young man had to offer, and it felt like the ages of passion
was flowing from his lips. Chakotay closed his eyes and allowed himself to
be lost in the fire, the flow of long pent up passion and allowed himself to
soar in this man's embrace. The next thing he knew they somehow had moved,
//Damn he's good, I didn't even realized we moved,// he though briefly as he
was being laid down on a soft bed and his shirt was being opened by skilled
"Allow me three things this night, love. Let me make passionate love to
you, then let me share my world with you, and then last but far from lest,
let me ask a question of your soul," Nolan said in soft hushed tones. Though
he didn't give Chakotay a chance to answer as he returned to kissing him
senseless, as he continued to remove the shirt that stood between him and
the strong bronze chest of this dark godlike specimen of a man.
By the time he came too and could breath again, the only thing he could
feel was being completely sated and filled. He had been with men before, but
always the aggressor.the typical top. He'd never been attracted to the kind
of men that would take him the way Nolan just did and couldn't for the life
of him understand why. He never felt this good in his life. When his vision
focused again, he saw the lovely view of Nolan resting on his hand and
elbow, staring at him, smiling from ear to ear, a look of pure joy on his
"Welcome back, love," Nolan teased warmly.
"That was.wonderful," he breathe out and gave a sincere laugh of joy. Then
he turned and let his eyes lock with the deep violet that held so much
intensity for him. "Why do you call me your love? I know that I do care for
you, but we just met."
"Love, Tay. I call you what my heart tells me is right. I see no reason to
hid what is with in me as I believe you have come to understand yourself,"
he smiled. "I have a few loves in my life, and each one unique and special
to me, just like you, Tay." He sat up and let his long auburn hair drape
down his smooth sculptured chest. He shifted so he could hold Chakotay's
back to him as they both sat up in bed and rested in each other's arms.
"Love, I have shared my passion with you, now let me share my world with
you," he said warmly.
Chakotay looked up puzzled, "By what do you mean share you world?" he asked,
not wanting to jump to any conclusions.
"My people, the Vamir are much more than we appear to be," he said warmly.
"Some can accept what we are, others can not either grasp the concept or
they don't want to. But I have the power of the mind to share information
that what would take hours even days of discussion with you, but I won't if
your not willing." He said reassuringly "Tay, I want to you to understand
what my world is all about.all of it, the good and the bad. May I?"
Chakotay thought about what was being said to him. He had experienced mind
melds and other forms of telepathy before, some pleasant others not so. He
looked up into Nolan's eyes and felt safe, safer than he ever knew he needed
to feel, having been so use to taking care of others, it was truly a welcome
feeling to have someone looking out for his welfare. "All right," he
"I shall warn you, it will not be all pleasant, perhaps frightening, but I
promise you, no matter what, you will never be harmed, my love. This I
swear," Nolan said as he caressed the side of Chakotay's temple and let the
dark eyes close as he opened his mind to share all that needed to be given
to the other man. Nolan having done this before, and knowing the older
looking man's mind and heart, would ease the information of the ages to him,
allowing him to take in all of it. He wouldn't lie, this was too important,
but he would be careful as he delivered the dark parts of his world. He felt
Chakotay's body tremor as his mind took in the dark secrets his people held,
and so ran his hand gently down the strong bronze chest to sooth him, to let
Chakotay feel that he was safe and protected as the rest of the knowledge
filled his mind. Nolan made sure that any question he could predict that
Chakotay would ask was answered and let it know that any other questions
would be openly welcomed, but that Chakotay could not share this information
with anyone outside of the Vamir.ever. If he could agree they would talk, if
not, then Nolan would take it back, and all would come to an end.
When Chakotay opened his eyes, he was trembling all over, though he still
felt safe, the experience was more than he expected, and he was taken back
by it all. He looked at Nolan with new eyes, "It's all true?" he asked in a
soft and shaking voice.
"Yes, love. It is all true, I wouldn't lie to you. Though I am very capable
of lying with the best of them," he quipped, "I wouldn't lie to you, for you
are one of the special ones that I know will always matter to me," he added.
"Now the question. Do you want to join us? Be one of my.chosen as it were?
You know all there is that I have to offer and what opportunities there are
for you to chose from. But it is a choice that once made can not be undone.
I know your ship is leaving soon, if you simply leave with them I 'will'
take this knowledge back, though not our night together. But the offer will
never be extended again." Nolan caressed the soft dark skin, "Tay, I learned
a long time ago that this has to be a gift and not a curse, or the days of
old will return, and I know no one truly wants that. I see this as a
blessing for you, but it 'is' your choice, and your choice alone. You may
speak with the Vamir all you wish and your crew, but they can not know any
of this part, though I know you understand this," he says as he slowly slips
out of the bed. "I shall leave you to think on this as long as you want, for
if you were to say yes, I'm sure you will before your ship leaves.that in
itself would be a decision, love."
Nolan leans down and kisses Chakotay lovingly on the lips than lets him
witnesses his vanishing into mist and was gone. Chakotay just laid there in
awe of the situation that he was in, and confused as to what he should do.
He needed time to think. He washed and dressed and went for a long walk in
the countryside. He world was about to change, but how and in what
direction. He didn't think about duty or the fact that he was late for
reporting back to Voyager. No, he thought about his heart, his soul, Tom.the
only one on Voyager of any real worth to him, though he was beyond his
reach. He did care for them all, but was it worth the years of pain and
loneliness to do a job that was almost meaningless? Could he make the
commitment attached to any choice he made.either of them were for life.his
By the time he made it back to the manner, he was fired up on all the
incidents in which either himself or others forced the façade of the perfect
officer to remain in place. He knew he couldn't go back to that.ever. He had
made his choice, but didn't want to deal with good byes, most of which he
didn't feel would have been meant anyway. Nor could he bear any real moment
with Tom, the one who would always hold a piece of his soul. As he entered
the door of the manor he was met by Rebecca.
"Tay, Morshen of the high council has informed me that your people are very
worried and looking for you," she states, and rest a concerned hand on his
shoulder. "I see that Nolan has asked you to join us. But the anger? Where
is it directed and is it just?" she asked like a warm true friend would.
Chakotay wanted to snap, but one look into Rebecca's face he knew that
would be wrong. "I'm sorry," he said softly.
"For what?" she asked.
"Lord Nolan has indeed asked me to stay and as I have been in thought of my
decision, I.I have found myself filled with the anguish and regret of my
past, even though I know it is not really their fault," he replied. "But I
still feel they not only helped, but some how enforced that I couldn't
"That's okay, Tay," she offered warmly and sincere. "But you should let
them know you are okay and perhaps your decision if one has been made." Her
bright green eyes filled with curiosity and a bit of anticipation of hope.
"I have. If you would be so kind to let Lord Nolan know that I have decided
to accept his offer, I shall let my.Voyager know," he said, some anger still
in him as he thought about Captain Janeway and many of the others.
"Very well, Tay. There is a carriage to take you to town where you can
access a communication console, for as you know, his Lordship does not
permit technology in his home," she smiles warmly, her eyes all a light with
hearing Chakotay's decision. She watched as Chakotay nodded his agreement
and moved to the door. "Tay, for what it's worth.I'm very glad that you'll
be joining us," she smiled, and then glad to see her words did indeed matter
to the other man. As the door closed she allowed herself to beam as she
moved to inform the Lord of Chakotay's decision.
Chakotay had gone to the town hall and met with Morshen, a fine looking
young man, and very pleasant. He didn't even ask questions, he knew Chakotay
was here to use the communications equipment. He moved the two of them to a
privet room and signaled Voyager and promptly left Chakotay alone. When the
screen filled with Kathryn's face, all the anger of being dismissed, treated
like a second class citizen by the women that he once loved, filled him. "I
heard you were looking for me," he said dryly.
He watched her face flicker as if in disbelief. "Commander, I was more than
looking for you," she replied coolly. "You are more than ten hours over due
to report back and all you have to say for yourself is that you heard I was
looking for you? Mister." She took a deep breath. "Beam back here now, and
we'll discuss this in my office," she growled.
"No," the Commander stated flatly. The feeling of triumph filled him. He
found it so easy to stand up to her now. He no longer carried the burden of
others wants and needs inside him. He knew she'd keep them all safe and get
them home, she had proven to him over the last three years that she and
Voyager really didn't need him. "In fact, I've decided I'm staying here. So,
give everyone my best, if it matters to them, and have a good trip home," he
said dryly folding his arms around his chest.
"Mister, you get yourself up here, NOW!" Janeway growled.
Chakotay laughed he found Janeway's temper amusing. "You seem to be under
the impression that I was asking you if I could stay? Well, I wasn't. I'm
staying, now leave me the fuck alone," He said flippantly, and cut the
signal. Though he was angry, he felt a sense of relief he didn't expect and
smiled. //That's telling her!// he thought to himself as he started to move
out of the room. //Put Tom?// the haunting thought spoke. Chakotay stilled
himself. //I will always love him, but he doesn't need me either.so, all is
better this way,// he replied to his self and headed back to the manor.
The passion was incredible as Nolan moved his skilled hands up and down his
body as if he was an instrument and Nolan an accomplished musician. His
moans of pleasure filled the air as Nolan took him higher and higher in
sweet ecstasy, then as his body exploded in white fire, a sudden sharp pain
around his neck was but a moment, then the intensity of the white fire
burned beyond anything his mind could comprehend. He couldn't move, nor did
he want too, for every cell in his body was on fire as the electricity of
bliss fired none stop, then he felt the slow ease into the mild darkness
that would some times come after a trip to heaven. He felt more than knew
what was going on, but all he could do was pant and trust Nolan to take care
Suddenly he felt warm, moist liquid drop into his mouth, the taste was
unique, a touch of metallic and salt. He automatically swallowed it and felt
it drip down his throat. He felt the liquid move through his body every inch
of the way till it reached his heart where it was pumped all throughout his
body, then the pain came. //No!// he mind screamed.
//Shhh, Love. I am with you, you are safe, but your body is dying.but you
Nolan's reassuring voice helped ease some of the panic, but not all of it.
He heard his heart stop beating and then his lungs wouldn't take in any air,
even as it struggled to do what it had been doing for over forty years. His
senses were being filled by the darkness, this time he was afraid.//I'm
dying!// his mind cried out, though his voice was silent. //I don't want to
go into the darkness, I don't.//
//I'm here, Tay,// Nolan's thoughts broke through the darkness. //I will be
here and you will wake from the darkness, changed, and never alone
again.this I swear.//
Hearing and believing Nolan's words.Chakotay let go.
Continued in: DARK KISS (Part II of the Dark Desire series)