Title:"What Is Meant To Be Will
Author: Kim R aka MYSTIC
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. Again since they are
no longer using them I've decided to take our boys out of the 'closet'
and let them play and be happy. Enjoy.
Summary: Tom has postponed the wedding for he can't let go of an old
flame he believes in his heart he was meant to be with.is he?
Rating: Nc-17 (some sex)
Pairing: P/B
Feedback: Please!

"What Is Meant To Be Will Be"

"This is the second time he's done it!" B'Elanna shouted as
she threw a cheap vase across the room.

Harry Kim ducked more out of instinct then necessity for the object
wasn't heading in his direction. "Look, B'el, things have been
difficult for us all, you know that. Tom also knows that with the
replicators down, even a half way decent wedding isn't likely. You
shouldn't take it so personal."

"Personal, PERSONAL!" she shouted throwing another vase across the
room. "How can I 'not' take it personal! Perhaps I'd understand more
if he'd say more than.then.sorry B'el, but I think we should hold off
the wedding a little longer. Don't take it personal, my ass!" she
shouted again, this time causing Harry to duck for the vase was in his

"Hey! I didn't do anything, why are you taking it out on me?"

"Because you're his friend!" she snapped needing an excuse

"But I'm 'your' friend too, have you forgotten that?" Harry added
quickly before he had to duck another item.

The simple words were enough to calm her down just enough so she
stopped throwing things, as she placed down the current throwing item
of choice. "You're right, Harry. Sorry. I know you make a good point.
With all the systems deteriorating, the wedding we had planned
wouldn't be possible, but we'll be at Tazar in three days, he could of
just.Ahh!" she screamed but resisted picking up any more items. "I'm
telling you Harry, if he postpones this one more time, and I do mean
one more time, I'm calling it off!"

"B'el, you don't mean it," Harry insisted.

"Don't I? Look, Harry, as it is I'm getting the feeling he doesn't
want to do this. One more lame excuse and I'll save him from being the
coward I'm starting to think he is by putting him in his grave!" she
finished in a deadly vow of vengeance.

"I'll talk with him, I'm sure it's just like I said. So relax," Harry
said as he moved to the door, then grinned. "Oh, and clean up this
place, it's a mess," he smirked and ducked out of the room before the
flying vase could hit him.


Tom had been thinking about things for quiet some time, today
was no different as he performed his task at the helm as he did
everyday. He was grateful that it was a slow shift, for his mind was
light years away as his body did what it was programmed to do over
years of experience. He then came back to his body just before his
shift was over, he always had good timing like that, but today he had
finally made his decision. He had to speak with the Captain first. As
soon as his relief was there he gave a brief report and moved off the
bridge to the side entrance of the Captain's office. He didn't want
too many people to know his business; well not yet, this was a small
ship, especially after so many years had gone by. He rang the chime.

"Come in."

Tom entered, "Captain, can I speak with you a moment.um on a
personal matter?" he was nervous, but he knew she would agree.

"Of course, Tom, have a seat. What is it?" Janeway asked as
she placed down the PADD she reading, in exchange for the coffee she
had siting near by.

Tom sighed. He didn't know how to put this, but he had to try.
"Captain.um.I need to tell you something.um.before." he stumbled over
his words.

"Tom, what ever it is, just spit it out," she prompted.

"I care a lot for B'Elanna, I love her, but.I can't marry
her," he rushed out.

Janeway sat straight in her chair. Though this was not a
complete surprise since he had postponed the wedding twice now,
hearing it confirmed was another matter all together. "Have you." she
tried to ask still stunned.

"No, I haven't told her yet. I though I should tell you and
ask for your advice on how to break it too her. I don't really want to
end up in the infirmary or worse the morgue, not that I don't think I
deserve it mind you," he sighed with frustration.

"I don't understand, Tom. If you love here as you just said
you did, then why? Why are you calling off the wedding?" the Captain
inquired more for her own curiosity than her chief engineers sake.

"It's a long story, but to make it short.I love someone else
more. I really thought that our being all the way out here I could
forget them, leave them behind and move on with my life.but.I can't."
Tom replied his sincere frustration of the emotional tug of war clear
on his face.

"Have you talked to B'Elanna about this?" she asked.

"Are you insane?" Tom replied than flushed with embarrassment.
"Sorry, Captain. It's just; B'el is rather the jealous type as it is.
She wouldn't understand, and I wouldn't blame her. As far as she would
be concerned, she's competing with a ghost, one that has no chance of
becoming reality, but I find that I just can't let go of it, I'm
sorry." He replied with remorse.

"Not half a sorry as B'Elanna is going to be," she replied
softly. "Can you talk to me about it? Perhaps if you shared your
'ghost' you could find a way to let go, and who knows. Find that flesh
and blood is what you really want," she smiled warmly, like a mother.

Tom smiled with a soft laugh at her motherly tone, but she was
trying. "All there is to say is that I met someone a long time ago,
before I went to prison, and I fell in love. When things started to go
wrong, instead of turning to them for help, I.well you know what I did
and landed in jail. During my imprisonment I never got a letter from
them, but I did get packages. I first thought they were from my
sisters, but after some investigation, soon after my sisters told me
they hadn't sent me anything other than letters, I discovered it was
from them. They were still looking out for me. I sent them a letter,
and it was slow but we started communicating again. Then around that
time you came to ask about the mission. The real reason I excepted had
nothing to do with what you said, it was a way of proving to them that
I was willing to change, turn my life around."

Janeway smiled, "I always thought there was a secondary motive
behind your coming along that day," she laughed softly. "But I can't
say I'm not glad you did. You've been invaluable to this crew, I hope
you know that."

Tom blushed under the compliment, "Thank you, Captain."

"Is there any thing else?" she prodded softly.

"Well, perchance.yes. When we got to DS9, I had a few hours of
freedom and I didn't want to waist it, if you know what I mean," he
smiled. "That's how I met Harry. But also during the time I discovered
something I didn't know in the letters."

"What was that?"

"That they were stationed there," Tom said as his eye filled
with mist of old memories. "I ran into them unexpectantly," his eye
watered as he looked up, his face flushed. "It was almost like the
first day we met all over again," he smiled. "I spoke of the mission
and, oh Captain, to see that smile again," Tom's face flushed even
more as his heart pounded. Then the blood started to drain as he came
back to reality. "I really believed that day that we were meant to be
together, like it was fate or something.but."

"Many years later you find you are still out in the Delta
quadrant, engaged to a wonderful woman, and you're having second
thoughts." Janeway softly scolded him, trying to bring about the real
picture here.

"No, Captain, you're wrong. The first and second time I
postponed the wedding that was having second thoughts. No, this time I
know.I don't want to do this. I may have been wrong about thing being
meant, but I can't do this, not now, maybe never," he replied with
determination in his voice, his mind made up.

Janeway was silent for a few moments. She didn't think there
was a place on this ship that would be safe for her first helmsman.
B'Elanna would go ballistic, perhaps if she was in the brig.no, Tom
perhaps.no. No, there was only one person who could handle this job,
and as much as it should be, it wasn't Tom Pairs. Weasel, she thought,
then chided herself for it. He was at lest being up front about it.but
would he have been if he wasn't stuck on the ship.ah, never mind, she
finished as she drank deeply of her coffee. "All right. I have an
idea. I really think you're just experiencing a case of raw nerves,
Tom Instead of calling off the wedding, just don't set a new date for
a while. Give you and B'el time to sort things through, and maybe even
try to talk with her about old feelings. If say in a couple of months
you still feel this way, then.by then.(I might have a place to hide
you).you can call it off. Marriage is a heavy step, Tom. One not to be
entered into lightly, I know you love B'Elanna, so Just give this some

"All right," he replied with some shame.

"It will be Okay, Tom. Just talk to her, you need to work this
out before hand. I'm sure she'll understand if you give her a chance."

Tom paled. "Yes, Captain."

"Is there anything else?" she asked hoping there was not.

"No, Captain," he replied quietly.

"Very well, dismissed. Oh, and Tom, Good luck."


A week had gone by and Tom was sure he would survive their
'chat' after all. He was in the infirmary again after B'Elanna's third
attack on him. Since she only broke his arm before stopping without
security pulling her off, he was sure she was calming down. The first
attack, after he tried to explain holding off setting a new day, had
almost killed him had Tuvok not been near by and over heard the
Klingon war cries. The second time almost the same thing happened as
Tom tried to explain it to her again. This time she just jumped him,
slammed him around, screamed in Klingon how dishonorable he was, broke
his arm then left.yep she was calming down.

Tom didn't ask for sympathy, nor was he getting any either, at
lest not from the Doctor who was quick to judge him like many on the
ship. Everyone was starting to believe that he would never make a
commitment, that he was incapable, and that he was hurting B'el. Deep
down Tom knew they were all right about him, but he couldn't explain,
that it was because he cared for B'Elanna that he couldn't go through
with it. Of course, since no one asked him his side, he didn't even
try to explain. They all had their own opinions, only in time would he
possibly have a chance to explain. The question was, could he?

"There you go, Mr. Paris," The holo Doc replied with a cool
tone. "Though if it were possible to not fix you up, I wouldn't," he

"Ah, Doc, not you too. I know you're upset with me like
everyone else, but give me a break," Tom sighed in frustration.

"I would, but I believe Lt. Torress has already beaten me to
it," he smirked.

Tom pressed his lips together, a slight smile at the joke,
even if it was at his expense. "I know everyone thinks I'm a complete
creep, but."

"No, not a complete creep, as you put it. For if you were,
you'd still be stringing Lt. Torres along, Oh wait.you are." he
replied coldly.

Tom had had enough. "Stringing her along!" he snapped. "I did
NOT STRING HER ALONG!" he shouted. "Why can't anyone understand, that
it is because I DO care for her that I called it off. When two people
marry it's because you love them completely, entirely.if you love
another at the same time.it.it wrong! How much plainer can that be?"
he demanded.

"Called it off? When did you call it off? Lt. Torres only said
you were refusing to set another date at the moment?"

(Shit!) Tom thought for he knew he had slipped. He didn't call
it off, he just wanted too, but the Captain had him convinced at the
time to just wait it out for a while. "I.. meant, um.." Tom's face
paled, he couldn't think of what to say, not very like him, but for
some reason he didn't want to lie.

If.I were.were, were, werrrrr," the holo doc started, but the words
jammed up and the image fluxed several times before freezing up.

"Paris to engineering," he said quickly.

Torress voice came snapping back, "Go to hell!" and clicked

"Grrr," Tom growled. "Paris to engineering, there is something
wrong with the holo Doc. He's frozen up," he spitted out fast before
being cut off again.

"What the hell did you do to him!" she accused over the link.

'Nothing, we were talking and he started to freeze up, now
he's just standing here like a one dimensional picture."

"Fine! I'm on my way," she snapped. It was enough for Tom to
understand that it would be best if he wasn't present when she got


"Are you sure?" Janeway asked.

"Unfortunately, I am. The data is biodegrading, with much more
use it will be completely gone. Seven and I are trying to rebuild its
subroutines as we speak, but.it doesn't look good. When the back up
files went so did all the rest that kept him going."

"How much can you save?" the Captain inquired with concern.

"I can save most of the medical files, procedures, but the
diagnostic program is faulty. It was the first to be attacked by the
degrading once it started. We'll have knowledge.but."

"Know one who really knows how to use it, wonderful," Janeway
responded with frustration. Then she looked over toward Tom. "How far
have you gotten in your medical training?"

Tom felt all eyes on him, "I'm a class three medic, two levels
from being a nurse, and a long way from being a Doctor," he replied.
"Medicine was never my strong suit."

Janeway wiped her eyes from frustration of the moment. She
knew deep down inside that she let the crew become too dependent on
the holo doctor. She should of pushed more of her crew into training
to become medically certified, at least someone would or could have
been qualified to take over by now. As it was, they would be in a lot
of trouble if anything serious happened, and it always did.

"Well, we couldn't expect him to be our top helmsman and study
to be a doctor at the same time," Chakotay added, seeing that Kathryn
was about to blow steam down that direction at the young pilot. "There
are several of us trained at the medic level, perhaps."

"No offense, Commander," Tuvok interrupted. "But it would take
even me three years to be a qualified doctor of the status required to
run Voyagers medical bay. The bottom line is that we made an error in
not training medical staff sooner. We must deal with the situation as
is. Lt. Paris is the highest trained medical personnel on board, and
he is also our lead Pilot. Though we can afford to not have him at the
helm, we can not afford not having someone in the medical bay."

"I have to agree," Janeway replied. "I'm sorry Tom, but you're
reassigned to the infirmary, and you are to level up as fast as you
can, understood?" she ordered.

Tom couldn't help but protest, "Captain, being a doctor takes
as much talent as it does to being a good pilot.I."

"You happen to be an excellent pilot," Janeway mused hoping to
put an end to the protest.

"That right, I am, but I was not meant to be a doctor.I."

"Tom," she soothed. "We don't have any choice, and neither do
you." Then she turned to Torres; "I want you to bring the Doctor back
on line fully functional as soon as you can. We need him, even if it
is only temporary to instruct Lt. Paris, understood?"


Janeway had enough with buts. "Understood?"

"Yes, Captain." B'Elanna said.

Janeway looked at Tom. "Yes, Captain," he replied.

"Good, dismissed."

Janeway walked out with Chakotay, and Tuvok by her side to the
bridge and everyone took their stations. She was tired and frustrated
over the situation, and she couldn't help but wonder when something
would go right for a change. The replicators were down due to lack of
power cells, now the doctor. All the tension on the ship due to the
stalled wedding was stifling, and not a decent planet in sight for a
little R&R. She looked up just in time to see Tom suddenly appear on
the bridge. "What the .."

"How did I get here?" he asked with surprise at his current

"Oh do calm down," Q retorted as he appeared wearing his red
Captain's outfit. " I knew you would be needed so I brought you along
for the ride," he smiled.

"Q!" Janeway stated through clenched teeth. "What do you
want?" she asked in a demanding tone.

"Oh, believe it or not, I've come to repay you for that bit of
kindness you show me a while back," he mused. "Though, now that the
continuum has a 'council' I can't do what I would like and Just snap
my finger and send you home," he stated coyly. "But, I can point you
in the right direction of something that will be of great value to you
and your lovely crew," he smiled.

"Q, if you think for one moment that I would.."

"Ah, ah, ah. Now remember, Kathy, the last time you didn't
listen to me when I was making an honest attempt toward you, you said
it your self that you regretted not listening, didn't you?"

Janeway looked at Q knowing that she had said it, but only in
her mind, never out loud. "What do you want, Q?" she resided as she
shifted in her seat.

"Like I said, I came to point you in the right direction of
something that will be a benefit to you and your crew," he replied
innocently, a bit too innocently. "Oh, and for the record," he added
dryly knowing this question would be coming whether spoken or not.
"What is going to happen is going to happen whether you decide to
listen this time or not. I have 'nothing' to do with it. All I'm doing
is putting two corresponding events together that 'will' benefit all
parties involved, but." he trailed off with that nagging sing song
tone of his. "It's up to you."

"Why don't you just get to the point," Chakotay stated coolly.

"Ah, a man after my own heart," Q teased. "Very well." He
waved his hands and the ship changed course. "Head in that direction
for two hours, and you will come across something very interesting
indeed," he smiled. "Oh, and since Tommy here 'is' your best, I
recommend you have him at the helm. After all, since 'I'm not' behind
what's going on, it'll be up to you to.ops almost gave it away," he
laughed and was gone.

"Well?" Chakotay asked.

Janeway sat in quiet contemplation of the matter. If she had
learned anything, it was that Q always had his own agenda, but he did
do what he said he would. The true question was, what ever they would
find would it be worth the trouble they would have to face? She let
out a small breath indicating she had made her decision. "Tom, since
there is no one in sickbay, I'm sure your being up here won't cause
any problems for awhile," she eased. "Let's go see what Q has in store
for us," she chimed.

"Do you think that wise?" Chakotay asked quietly.

"No, but Q was right about one thing. The last time I didn't
listen I did regret it. I don't doubt there is a price tag on what
ever he is offering, but, it just may be worth it.or so I hope."

It was almost two hours to the click of the chronometer when
Harry spoke up. "Captain, I'm picking up a distress signal."

"From where?" she asked.

"From straight a head," he replied. Then his face blanched,
"Captain.its.a Federation signal!"

"Are you sure?" Chakotay responded.

"Yes." Harry said, double checking his sensors.

"Tom," Janeway said.

"I'm on it, Captain," he replied kicking Voyager in gear
toward the Federation distress signal.
After about two minutes, "Captain, I'm detecting twelve
unknown vessels a head, and one Federation class shuttle," he replied
in his usual calm voice.

"Captain," Harry chimed in with concern. "I was picking up two
human life signs, now I'm only getting one, and it's weak."

"Tom, get us with in transporter range," she ordered.

"Enemy vessels have spotted us and ten are heading our way,"
Tuvok stated.

"Harry, as soon as we're in transporter range, beam who ever
that is directly to sickbay. If we can save the shuttle, that will be

"Shields up!" Chakotay ordered seeing the enemy vessels
approaching. "Red alert!"

Tom did what he did best; he made Voyager dance through these
tiny pests like they were not even there, avoiding them with great
ease, though with a large ship like Voyager, that was pure talent in
the watching.

"I have transporter lock!" Harry shouted. "Beaming them to

"Get a tractor beam on that shuttle," Chokotey ordered.

"Mr. Tuvok, would you please fire a few warning shots, perhaps
we can get these vessels to back off," Janeway mused.

"Yes, Captain," head of security said with ease.

"Tom?" Janeway asked,

Tom knew what she wanted, years of working together gave them
a rapport, "almost have it, Captain. Just a few more minutes and the
shuttle will be safe and sound in our hanger bay," he smiled.

"Captain, there is no one down is sickbay?" Chakotay stated as
it just occurred to him as he stood up, "Till Tom is free I'll go see
what I can do," he stated as he rushed for the turbo lift doors and
exited the bridge.

(Damn!) She softly cursed herself. She knew there was no one
in sickbay, yet she took it for granted that all would be all right.
She only prayed that who ever was laying there alone, was unconscious,
but strong enough to live.(Please live,) she prayed silently

"Got it!" Tom shouted with joy.

"Okay, Mr. Paris, get us out of here and back on course, a
head warp factor six," Janeway said.
"Aye, aye, Captain," the blond pilot smiled.

"Tuvok, send for Betaheart. Mr. Paris, as soon as your
replacement is here I want you in sickbay ASAP, I'll meet you there.
Mr. Tuvok, you have the con." Janeway said as he got up and headed to

************** (end Part 1)