Title: Another Brick from the Wall
Note: Part II of the Stone Heart Series
Author: Kim Riley aka MYSTIC / MysticMcknight
Pairing: C/P
Rated: R
Summary: sequel to Behind the Wall. Chakotay doesn't want to tell
anyone about his condition, but sooner or later he'll have to face the
music and the crew.
Disclaimer: Everything but the idea and the talent that went into this
is Paramonts, the rest is all mine.
Feedback: Please! Mysticmcknight@hotmail.com


"Another Brick from the Wall"



Personal log...

I just told the Captain that Tom is the father of the twins, she
almost fainted. *Chuckles * But, she didn't and took it better than I
thought. She asked me if I've talked with Tom and I informed her that
I talked with him before talking with her and he is more than upto the
job. I think I was smiling because her pale cheeks blushed as she
grinned back at me.

Oh, Spirits! I'm scared and I don't know if Tom realizes it or not,
but if he hadn't come by the other night, I wasn't going to go through
with this. Don't get me wrong, I want to be a father, always have,
but this.carrying them.was never something I ever thought of.

But, somehow, when Tom came to me last night, held me, feeling the
strength he has denied in himself for so long. I felt our connection,
that being a family, even if it is rushed, was the right thing.

So.looks like I'm going to be a 'papa' as Tom put it. *Laughs* I'm
still scared, I really don't know what to expect and I don't know what
I'll tell the crew. I mean, I'm not saying a word till I have to, I
just can't shake this feeling of being off balance.

The Doctor says that whatever allowed this to happen, had added a
heavy dose of estrogen to my system and that is what is doing
this.just great! I have to have more of that stuff over the nine
months, I'm going to be a wreck, but.but it'll be worth it.I hope.

End personal log.

*************

Tom kept a protective eye on Chakotay as he came onto the bridge from
his doctor's appointment. He was looking better, though Tom could see
the shift of his strength from time to time over these past two
months. So far, only Chakotay, Janeway, the Doctor and himself knew
of the twins, but people were becoming very edgy and suspicious as to
what was wrong with the Commander. Tuvok had caught several people
trying to hack into the medical files to fine out, but instead of
telling, Chak asked that the files be deleted or moved into a more
secure file. He asked the Captain to be leanient, knowing they were
concerned, but when she suggested he tell them, he gave a flat out no.

Tom did his best not to look too obvious as he kept his vigil over his
love, but when he saw a small smile from Janeway, he knew he was
caught. They didn't bother going back to the planet, Chakotay didn't
see a reason why. They had all they needed to continue forward, so
the Captain agreed and set a course towards home once again.

Normally, with little to do at the helm, Tom knew he'd be bored. But,
now he was glad, because nothing to do meant all was well and Chakotay
would be safe. He had practically moved into the Commander's
quarters. Though he did try to keep a low profile, people would have
had to have been blind not to know what was going on. But then again,
he didn't know how much or how long Chakotay had loved him right
before his face, so he wasn't too surprised nothing had been said.yet.

Tom had never been so happy in his life. He got to go home to the man
he loved, knowing he was loved in return. Though he always pictured
Chakotay pampering him, he found he loved doing it for the older man.
He knew Chak liked to be independent and Tom didn't do a thing to
interfere with that, but he'd give him the perks. He would give back
rubs, massages, breakfast in bed and all the loving Chakotay's body
could handle, and then some. //I've been with men and women half his
age and they don't have what he has in the love making department,//
he mused with a warm smile.

Then he heard it. Fast footsteps and the swoosh of a door. He turned
to see Janeway looking in the direction of her office, but no
Chakotay. Without a word, Janeway gave Tom the nod that he could
follow and he moved to find out what was wrong.

He entered the office and didn't see Chakotay, but after a few
seconds, he heard retching coming from the bathroom. //Oh, man.
Morning sickness. I should have remembered. My sisters would bitch
left and right about that and sometimes the medicine didn't always
work. I guess, in this case, it wasn't working,// Tom thought as he
steadied his nerves and moved towards the bathroom.

He found the door open and Chak paying homage to the porcelain thrown.
"Honey, are you okay?" Tom asked as he moved inside, grabbing a towel
and handing it over to Chakotay, then gently rubbing his back as the
man started getting sick again. "Take it easy, I'm here," Tom soothed,
knowing how stupid it sounded, because he couldn't do a thing about
this. "Do you want me to call the Doctor?"

"No," Chakotay replied as he sat back against Tom and wiped his face.
"He'll just try and force that medicine on me again."

Tom raised an eyebrow. "You didn't take the medicine?" he asked, a bit
surprised.

"It's bad enough I have to have the other stuff, but it's all natural,
well most of it, the medicine isn't, so I don't want it," the older
man breathed out letting his stomach settle.

Tom didn't like the sound of this, "But, then you're going to be
having morning sickness and as the First Officer, is it really wise?
I mean, I understand you wanting to keep this pregnancy as natural as
possible, but you don't have the luxury of being sick whenever the
mood strikes, as it were," Tom said softly, placing a light kiss on
top of his lover's head.

"But, Tom...?"

Tom wanted to laugh. Hearing Chakotay whine was an unique treat, at
best he smiled. "I know what you want, but can you really pull it off?
All I'm asking is that you think about it. Whatever you decide, you
know I'll support you," he said. "Though there 'is' something I would
like to try and insist on," he said carefully, having taken notice of
the mood swings his love was having over the last several weeks.

"What?" Chakotay asked, making himself comfortable in Tom's arms,
right there in the Captain's restroom and closed his eyes to rest.

"I know this is going to be difficult for you, but I happen to be very
happy and very proud about what we are doing. I know you're concerned
about how people will react to you, but."

"Paris, get to the point," he growled a little, never opening his eyes
and still snug in Tom's arms.

"I want people to know we're going to be proud parents," he said,
unsure of which direction his love would react to, anger or
stubbornness. What he got, he didn't expect. "Honey?" He asked when
he felt the man trembling. He looked down and saw tears. "What's
wrong? Our children are a beautiful thing. Why are you crying?"

"I.I don't know," he replied. "My emotions are all over the place, I'm
such a damn mess! Maybe I shouldn't be doing this, I mean what kind of
parent would I make if I fall to pieces every five minutes," he
sobbed. "If I tell people, how can they continue to respect me? I
wasn't designed to be the mother type," he sobbed some more.

Tom hugged him tighter. "Oh, love. You never thought of being a mother
and I never thought of being a father," he whispered.

"What?" Chak asked, looking up at the beautiful blond. "You're good
with kids, I've seen you. And you said you were so happy."

"I am," Tom smiled. "But, until you told me I was going to be a
father, I never gave it much thought.well, I did, but I had decided
not to. My own father was light years away from being a good dad. I
was and still am, afraid of being just like him," he said, letting
some of the pain in his voice escape.

"You'll be a wonderful father, Tom. Because you'll give from your
heart and I've seen it, it's a beautiful thing through and through,"
Chakotay whispered back, leaning up and giving Tom a sweet loving
kiss.

After the kiss was broken, "If I can be a great father, you can do
this," he said with a smile of love and conviction. "You are the
strongest, most determined and spiritual man I know, you love life and
I know you're already attached to them," he smiled. "You can do this
and I'll be here right by your side, every step of the way."

"I don't know if I've said it today or not, but I love you, Tom
Paris," the older man said, then kissed his love deeply.

Tom returned the kiss, then gave a reverent smile. "Hey, speaking of
spiritual. Have you been able to meditate?"

"No. I've been too wound up, but perhaps I should. If I ever needed
guidance, now is the time," he smiled, then moved to get up.

Tom helped him. "So, have you decided? Bridge or sickbay?"

Chakotay looked at Tom, lost in those sky blue eyes. "Your wisdom is
amazing at times," he smiled as he caressed the creamy skin on Tom's
face. "Let the Captain know that I'm off to sickbay and then to rest.
The Doctor told me that the initial shot would make me drowsy, but
after that I should be fine. While I rest, I'll think over about
telling the others, okay?"

"Okay," Tom replied, kissing his love again. Tom watched as Chakotay
exited out of the bathroom and then out of the Captain's side door.
He walked out onto the bridge to inform the Captain and wondered why
he was getting a lot of puzzled looks. The Captain was the only one
who had a small smile plastered onto her face. He made his way over
to Janeway, leaned over and whispered, "He went to sickbay. He's
fine, but the doctor will probably send him to rest. He knows this
may happen, so he wanted me to tell you."

"That's fine," Janeway whispered back. "By the way, you're glowing,"
she smiled. "And now your blushing." Her grin grew as she watched Tom
do his best to hid his face as he took his seat back at the helm.
//Oh, it's so about time those two figured out they were made for each
other,// she smiled and sat back, relaxed for the rest of the shift.


**************

Two weeks later and with the miracle of modern medicine, Chakotay was
the picture of health. Though the Captain still insisted he do short
shifts and use the extra time to rest or excise to keep fit.

Today was the day of all days. They were about to find out the sex of
the children and Tom was so excited he was bouncing as he walked, that
was, till he noticed he was being followed. //They just won't let up,
will they?// He smiled, knowing it was Harry and B'Elanna tag teaming
him. //Oh, guys. I want to tell you, but Chak isn't ready, so you'll
just have to wait.//

He knew this ship like the back of his hand and knew B'Elanna did too,
but he knew exactly where he was going and she didn't. So he took an
unexpected right turn, ran towards a shaft, jumped in and climbed
down, away from his destination by three levels. He then moved to a
computer console and tracked Harry and B'Elanna. They were right on
his tail, one in the shaft, the other by the closest lift. //Ha!
Going to have to do better than that if your going to catch me,// he
smiled. He punched in a few codes and beamed himself to his quarters.
There, he played with the computer some more and beamed outside of
the infirmary. //Yes. The Captain may be upset, but she'll
understand,// he told himself as he walked in.

"Ah, there you are. I was beginning to wonder if you'd ever show. As
it is, Commander Chakotay won't let me examine him till you arrived,"
the Doctor stated, annoyed.

Tom looked at his love, "Sorry, had to shake a tail," he smiled, then
grinned when he saw Chak got his meaning. "Well?"

"Give me a minute," the Doctor said. He waved the medical scanner
over Chakotay, "I only wish whatever was the cause of this, didn't
interfere so much with the equipment," he gripped. "Ah, here we go."

Tom was holding Chakotay's hand. "Well?"

"Congratulations. You both have a very healthy son...and daughter,"
the Doctor smiled.

"Fraternal twins?" Chakotay asked with surprise and delight.

"Wow! One of each from the get go," Tom mused.

"I should take this time to point out, Commander, that you are doing
an excellent job in taking care of yourself," the Doctor said, filling
a hypo for the next set of shots needed.

"Thanks," he smiled. "I've had a lot of help," he finished, giving
Tom's hand a squeeze.

"I should also inform you that at the rate the twins are growing,
you'll begin to show within the next week. As it is, you only show a
bit, but not enough for anyone to take notice of. After next week
though, that will no longer be the case. I know you didn't want
anything to be said about this, but there is little I can do about
it," the EMH said as he gave the Commander his shots. "There you go.
I'll leave you two to talk. I'm going to tend to some 'real'
patients." He then left the room.

Tom could see the news didn't sit well with Chakotay. "Hon, you knew
this day was coming, why are you so bothered by it? We talked, you
talked with your guide and even 'she' told you it was a blessing to be
enjoyed. So why are you so upset?" He moved his arms around his
lover's strong shoulders.

"I know it doesn't make any sense," he said softly. "But as happy as I
am, I can't shake this.this feeling that I'll be looked at as less of
a man."

"Chakotay, you know that is simply not true," Tom replied feverishly.
"You are the most respected, loved and admired man on this ship. And
we both know how much more it takes to travel the path you have chosen
than not to. Those who have eyes will see this and if.if anyone would
dare think otherwise.I'll space them," he teased. He was delighted to
see his love smile. "Do that again," he said softly.

"Do what?"

"Smile," Tom whispered. Then when Chakotay did, he leaned in and
kissed him deeply. He then slowly leaned back, "I love that smile,
never lose it."

"As long as you're with me, I never will."

Tom was about to lean in for another kiss when the doors to the
infirmary swooshed open. He moved back from Chak just as B'Elanna
stormed in. "All right! I have had enough! What the hell is going on
here? If you're dying you stubborn son-of-a-bitch, I have the right
to know!" She fumed.

Any other time, her behavior would have landed her in the brig. But,
the Commander only laughed, for he knew she was only doing it because
she was beyond her limits with worry. "B'Elanna, I'm fine. I'm not
dying, but you're correct. You have a right to know what's going on."
He took a deep breath as if making a decision, then he looked at Tom,
his blue eyes dancing with joy at the prospect of finally telling
their friends about this. "Tell our friends to gather at the bar
around 2000 and that I have an announcement, okay?"

She looked from the Commander to Tom, then back towards the Commander,
puzzled. "All right," she agreed. //Oh, my word!// Her mind screamed.
//They were kissing!// She mused as she saw the light glow of saliva
around their mouths and their close proximity to each other. She
smiled, believing she knew what some of the big deal was. "Okay, 2000,
got it." She turned and left.

"I think she figured it out," Tom mused.

"No, just the obvious part," he smiled, then kissed Tom once more. He
gave a deep sigh, "I have to go to work. See you for lunch, angel?"

"Angel?" Tom smiled, "Where did that one come from?"

"Ah, Tom. You've been my saving grace through all of this. What else
could you be?" he smiled as his eyes danced with the joy he felt in
his heart.

Tom felt the heat in his cheeks. "Thank you," he said softly in
return. Then he cleared his throat, "Lunch sounds good.mess hall?"
Tom knew Chak avoided the mess hall since becoming pregnant and the
Captain was all too pleased to allow it.

"Get real, Tom. My quarters. See you then," he smiled and walked
off.

That night when the two of them walked into the bar, Chakotay froze in
his tracks by the sheer number of people he saw. "Perhaps, I should of
just made a ship wide announcment," he said.

"Why, seems like the whole ship is here," Tom teased. He wasn't half
off, for the holosuite was crowed.

"Perhaps, I should leave and let you tell them," Chak said as he
turned to leave, but was caught by Tom's gentle hand.

"Hon, these are your friends and in many ways your family. That's
what you would tell me, right?" He saw the older man nod his
concession. "Then face them. You have nothing to fear, right?"

Chakotay smiled, "No." He looked deep into those sparkling blue eyes
as he heard his name being called from the crowd. "How did you get so
wise?" he asked softly.

"Oh, just hanging around this very wise man who I happened to love
very much. Learned a thing or two even if he did think I wasn't
paying attention.I was," Tom smiled.