Title: Angstrom
Author: Kim Riley a.k.a. MYSTIC
WARNING: SOME SECTIONS OF THIS STORY HAVE GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS THAT
MAY PROVE DISTURBING
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. Again since they are
no longer using them I've decided to take our boys out of the 'closet'
and let them play and be happy. Enjoy.
Summary: Sometimes the smallest things can set off great chain of
events, for good and for bad
Rating: R for language and sex
Pairing: Chakotay/ Paris
Feedback: Please! Mysticmcknight@hotmail.com
Notes: The poem "If Only" was written me. The song "Kiss Me Softly"
is off the new Journey album- Arrival; they own it, all of it, so
please respect that. Thanks.


I should be the one flying Voyager! But all I can do is wait
in sickbay and pray for the best. So far we've had ten injured but
nothing too serious. I'm beside myself, but when the signal comes in
that they found him and a form starts to materialize before us on the
biobed, I find I'm scared.

When he first arrived the Doc had to move quickly and inject a
very strong sedative, for the first thing he did was try and
attack.us. Now he's laying on the biobed, and I shiver inside as I
look at what they have done to Chakotay.

I remain silent as I follow orders and hand instruments to the
Doc and Seven. She's assisting since she's more familiar with the Borg
implants. They decide to start with the head area, specifically the
visor.

"The eye cordials are intact, " states the Doc.

This of course doesn't prepare me for what I see. When they
start to lift the visor off his face, there are wires running from it
into his eyes. Yes, the eyeball was intact, but the wires run past
them into his head. The Doc had to carefully remove the eyeball and in
a very painstakingly slow process disconnect each connection. This
alone takes two hours, and though I have the easiest part, I'm a
wreck! However, the Doc and Seven are made of better stuff than me
and continue, and silently I push on too. It's the least I can do.he
wouldn't be here if not for me.

They decide to move on to the neurotransmitters. It was
discussed that they would use Seven's nanobots as they have done
before to reverse some of the internal damage. However, just before
they are injected, the Doc puts a halt to it. Turns out the Bitch
Queen got wise to us doing this with some other's she attempted to
assimilated some time ago. If Seven were to use her nanobots, it would
only hurt Chakotay.

But the Doc isn't discouraged. He was able to correct Seven's
and he's confident that he can do the same for Chakotay. So it became
our next task to run test after test to figure out how to reduce the
nanobots in Commander Chakotay's system and gain a better
understanding of the neuronet they placed in his head.

Six hours later and the Doc and Seven have managed to reduce
the total number of nanobots in Cha's system, but they can not remove
all of them, and sadly not all the implants. The Doc states that like
on Seven, they are in vital areas and if removed would kill Chakotay.
I don't say anything, for what can I say?

I exit the room to start up the regeneration tanks. That's
about the best news so far. The Doc is sure he can replace Chakotay's
legs and his right arm. Unfortunately when the Bitch Queen ripped out
his arm from it's socket, it tore and severed nerve endings similar to
what happened in my back. So the Doc is working with Seven on
removing the left arm from the robot suite and directly attaching it
to Chakotay, since he already has the compatibility, thanks to those
stupid nanobots!

I shouldn't be so angry, but I know it will only sever to
remind him of this time of his life, as if he could ever forget it.
Besides, he'll have more than the arm; he'll have a implant showing,
like Seven does. Just behind his right ear. Though for the arm they
are going to graft skin over it and with the sensitivity level of the
sensors in the arm, he'll be able to feel with it. At least that's
something.

The tanks are started as I come back and report. The Doc
orders me to rest, which of course I protest, but he makes it clear
that if I don't get some rest I will not be allowed to assist him
anymore. I glared at him, for he knew that would get me to leave, but
I don't feel too bad when Seven informs me that she too is going to
rest for a short time before returning.

She walks out with me, locking sickbay behind us. See everyone
wants to see Chakotay, a combination of knowing he's alive, and I
think morbid curiosity, well only a little. Even the Captain has been
kept out. So when we are half way down the hall she intercepts us.

"Well?" she asks, her eyes demanding to know all.

"He's got his color back," I quip, trying to keep things
light.

"The Commander will need a lot more work, but I estimate a
95.927 percent chance of success. Though his system has become similar
to mine and it may become necessary for another cycle chamber to be
created," she says so flatly that it comes off cold.

"That bad? He's only been gone a week, you were.years,"
Janeway replies, unsure how to take the news. Actually, I don't know
how to take hearing this, for no one said anything to me, and I was in
there.

"That is true, however, Commander Chakotay has been implanted
with a vast neuronet that extends even beyond my current knowledge.
Preliminary testing states that it is set to function with built in
rest periods associated with the regeneration chamber. However, till
more testing has been complete, I can not say for sure.

"Very well, Seven" Janeway says. "What about.his arms and
legs?"

"His legs and right arm will be able to be replaced with the
regeneration process," I say gladly.

"And his left?"

Janeway would ask that. "The Doc is going to remove the arm
from the suit and reattach it. Then he's going to graft natural skin
over it. He believes that with the sensors in it and the neuro
connection to Chakotay's brain, that he'll be able to feel with it," I
say.

"We must rest before we return to assist the Doctor," Seven
states and pushes me along the hall after the Captain dismisses us.

When we get into the turbolift I inform her that I can get it
from here. She gets off at her level and I head for mine, suddenly
glad that Chakotay and I share the same deck, for that is where I'm
going. Once I'm in his quarters when it hit's me. It wasn't him.

I mean it was his body, but the entire time I was near him it
was like something was missing, as if he wasn't there. I can't put it
any other way. I chalk it up to his condition and move to his bedroom
still feeling welcomed. I hoist myself into his bed like I did earlier
and I snuggle up into his pillows.

I smell his scent everywhere and I snuggle deeper, wanting to
be surrounded by it. I may not be able to move my legs, but the rest
of me works just fine, even though till this moment I had doubted it.
But the hard on I'm sporting from just smelling him, and thinking
about his lips on mine, and how good he felt to hold that night in the
holodeck has done the trick.

I do feel a bit guilty, but my need is strong so I reach down
and rub myself, thinking of him and burying my face in his pillow. It
doesn't take long before I'm quietly crying out his name and panting
heavily. I know I should move and clean up, but the tension release
has left me weak and sleep is quickly upon me.

*****************

The Doc was working around the clock, so by the time I return
to Sickbay, Chakotay looks human again. I was more tired than I
imagined, and I slept for over twelve hours, and no one woke me. Of
course, as much as I want to help, I think they knew I probably
couldn't take the operation to reattach the Commanders limbs.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was told, I wouldn't be able
to tell that the left arm was any different from the right. He looked
so much like he did before, that I feel a smile cross my face as I
state, "Nice Job Doc."

It's about then that Captain Janeway enters and sees Chakotay,
still under heavy sedation laying on the biobed. "How is he?"

"The operations to reattach his limbs were successful. Though
they may be a bit weak, since in essence the muscles in them have
never been used," replies the Doc. "I'm about to wake him," he says,
suggesting caution, for no one knows how he'll react. I'm betting he
come around swing.

I move to the other side, for I want to be there for Chakotay
when he wakes up. I can't really imagine the nightmare he's been
through, but I want him to see I'm alive and that so is he. The Doc
administers the medicine the will undue the sedative.

"He should come around in a few."

Chakotay's eyes snap awake immediately. They look lost and
unfocused. The Doc moves in and leans over so Chakotay can see him,
and scan his condition. We all jump, that is, me, the Captain, and
even Seven, when Chakotay reaches up with his left hand and grabs the
Doc around the throat. Thankfully he's a hologram or he'd be choking
by now.

Then Chakotay sits up using his torso muscles; his eyes
focused on the Doctor, never loosening his grip. He then looks around,
but not really seeing, it was more like he was trying to comprehend
his situation. Then he looked back at the Doc and his first words iced
my soul.

"You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

Seven stepped up. "Configure. Identify."

Chakotay turned to look at her. I could see that he was
actually seeing her this time. Then he spoke again with that cool
monotone voice that sent a frozen shockwave through me. "Configure
Q-Alpha Beta One. Identity, Four of Six. Configure, Identify," he said
to Seven.

She did and then ordered him to release the Doc, but Chakotay
stated, "Authorization denied."

I couldn't take much more of this. This was Chakotay, not some
Borg drone. This just can't be. I reach out and touch his right arm,
"Chakotay, stop this!"

I don't think anyone was expecting him to jump like he did.
But when I touched him he looked at me with a glare as he jumped away
from me. At the same time he did release the Doc. Then he continued to
stare at me as if he'd never seen me before or anyone like me.

"Cha?" I say softly and reach out again. To my surprise he
moves away from me, but continues to stare at me.

"Access code," Chakotay states.

"What are you talking about? Chakotay, it's me Tom. Your home,
back on Voyager, don't you understand this?" I feel tears stinging my
eyes as I stare into his and see.emptiness.

"You are Commander Chakotay of the USS Voyager. Do you
comply?" Seven asks.

Chakotay looks at her as if she isn't making sense, though I
get that from the empty look in his eyes, nothing more.

"Chakotay?" Janeway says as she steps closer to him.

Chakotay turns to the sound of the voice and stares at her.
First blankly, then states, "Access code."

"Chakotay, it's me. Kathryn. Kathryn Janeway, don't you
remember?"

I wanted to say if he didn't remember me, he won't remember
you, but then something in his manner changes. I'm not sure what it
is, but I'm not sure if I like it.

"Kathryn?"

She smiles, "Yes, Chakotay, it's me, Kathryn." She steps
closer and reaches a hand out and caresses his cheek. It's the first
time in years that I ever felt jealous. Not because she touched him,
but because he reached up and took her hand and held it. What made her
so damn special?

"Kathryn? Kathryn, what.where.?" he looked around, his eyes
starting to show some life again, but they still seemed too empty for
me. But that could be for he never really looked at me, as if I didn't
exist to him anymore.

"It's okay, Chakotay," she says. "You were taken by the Borg,
but we have you back, You're going to be alright," she smiles.

"Borg?" then he squeezes his eyes closed, "my head hurts," he
says softly.

"I think you have had more than enough for today, Commander,"
The Doc replies as he gives Chakotay something for the pain and help
him rest.

"Something's wrong," I say.

"He's got a long road to recovery, Tom. We can't really expect
him to bounce back like it didn't happen," The Captain replies.

I nod that I understand, but inside I feel that it's more than
that. But since it's just a feeling, and I'm not really sure if my
jealousy has a part to play in it. I mean, I pictured him at least
smiling at me, acknowledging me, something.for me! But then I feel
pretty shallow and do my best to let it go. When the Doc states he's
going to keep Chakotay in Sickbay for a few day for observation and
test, I know my days at the only place that felt like home in this
damn quadrant is numbered. I say my good nights, since I don't have to
wait for any shift to end, I'm still on extended medical leave, and
head back to Chakotay's quarters to get at least one more good nights
rest.

When I get there I use his shower and I've brought some
clothes with me so I can change. I also bring a wet cloth and a towel
with me, since I know how I'll feel being in his bed again. This time
as I lay down to rest, I can't forget how empty his eyes looked, even
after he recognized the Captain. It still felt like something was
missing, something small perhaps, but what ever it is, it makes a
difference.

After being overwhelmed by Chakotay's scent, still strong in
his bed, and releasing the sexual tension I felt, I lay here close to
sleep, but I'm haunted still by Chakotay's empty eyes. My mind starts
to go over the reports of the rescue operation that I've over heard,
and it could just be me, but I think we got really lucky. The last
time we engaged the Queen, we lost three men, to death, thank
goodness.well you know what I mean. This time, we didn't lose anyone,
but as B'Elanna would say, it was just good timing on our behalf.

I try to change the subject by thinking of my owe schedule. I
have physical therapy, and a counseling session with Tuvok, better him
than the Doc, then it's off to the holo deck to run more SIMM's. I'm
determined to prove to the Captain that I can still fly, even from
this chair. I mean, really, I don't use my legs anyway; I don't see
why it should matter?

"One step at a time," I say to myself. Then I chuckle at how
stupid that sounds coming from me. But it is good advice. We got
Chakotay back, and with time I know I'll be able to reach him, maybe
even.no I won't go there, it'll hurt to much if he.no. One day at a
time sounds much better.


*****End of Part 5*****

I should be the one flying Voyager! But all I can do is wait
in sickbay and pray for the best. So far we've had ten injured but
nothing too serious. I'm beside myself, but when the signal comes in
that they found him and a form starts to materialize before us on the
biobed, I find I'm scared.

When he first arrived the Doc had to move quickly and inject a
very strong sedative, for the first thing he did was try and
attack.us. Now he's laying on the biobed, and I shiver inside as I
look at what they have done to Chakotay.

I remain silent as I follow orders and hand instruments to the
Doc and Seven. She's assisting since she's more familiar with the Borg
implants. They decide to start with the head area, specifically the
visor.

"The eye cordials are intact, " states the Doc.

This of course doesn't prepare me for what I see. When they
start to lift the visor off his face, there are wires running from it
into his eyes. Yes, the eyeball was intact, but the wires run past
them into his head. The Doc had to carefully remove the eyeball and in
a very painstakingly slow process disconnect each connection. This
alone takes two hours, and though I have the easiest part, I'm a
wreck! However, the Doc and Seven are made of better stuff than me
and continue, and silently I push on too. It's the least I can do.he
wouldn't be here if not for me.

They decide to move on to the neurotransmitters. It was
discussed that they would use Seven's nanobots as they have done
before to reverse some of the internal damage. However, just before
they are injected, the Doc puts a halt to it. Turns out the Bitch
Queen got wise to us doing this with some other's she attempted to
assimilated some time ago. If Seven were to use her nanobots, it would
only hurt Chakotay.

But the Doc isn't discouraged. He was able to correct Seven's
and he's confident that he can do the same for Chakotay. So it became
our next task to run test after test to figure out how to reduce the
nanobots in Commander Chakotay's system and gain a better
understanding of the neuronet they placed in his head.

Six hours later and the Doc and Seven have managed to reduce
the total number of nanobots in Cha's system, but they can not remove
all of them, and sadly not all the implants. The Doc states that like
on Seven, they are in vital areas and if removed would kill Chakotay.
I don't say anything, for what can I say?

I exit the room to start up the regeneration tanks. That's
about the best news so far. The Doc is sure he can replace Chakotay's
legs and his right arm. Unfortunately when the Bitch Queen ripped out
his arm from it's socket, it tore and severed nerve endings similar to
what happened in my back. So the Doc is working with Seven on
removing the left arm from the robot suite and directly attaching it
to Chakotay, since he already has the compatibility, thanks to those
stupid nanobots!

I shouldn't be so angry, but I know it will only sever to
remind him of this time of his life, as if he could ever forget it.
Besides, he'll have more than the arm; he'll have a implant showing,
like Seven does. Just behind his right ear. Though for the arm they
are going to graft skin over it and with the sensitivity level of the
sensors in the arm, he'll be able to feel with it. At least that's
something.

The tanks are started as I come back and report. The Doc
orders me to rest, which of course I protest, but he makes it clear
that if I don't get some rest I will not be allowed to assist him
anymore. I glared at him, for he knew that would get me to leave, but
I don't feel too bad when Seven informs me that she too is going to
rest for a short time before returning.

She walks out with me, locking sickbay behind us. See everyone
wants to see Chakotay, a combination of knowing he's alive, and I
think morbid curiosity, well only a little. Even the Captain has been
kept out. So when we are half way down the hall she intercepts us.

"Well?" she asks, her eyes demanding to know all.

"He's got his color back," I quip, trying to keep things
light.

"The Commander will need a lot more work, but I estimate a
95.927 percent chance of success. Though his system has become similar
to mine and it may become necessary for another cycle chamber to be
created," she says so flatly that it comes off cold.

"That bad? He's only been gone a week, you were.years,"
Janeway replies, unsure how to take the news. Actually, I don't know
how to take hearing this, for no one said anything to me, and I was in
there.

"That is true, however, Commander Chakotay has been implanted
with a vast neuronet that extends even beyond my current knowledge.
Preliminary testing states that it is set to function with built in
rest periods associated with the regeneration chamber. However, till
more testing has been complete, I can not say for sure.

"Very well, Seven" Janeway says. "What about.his arms and
legs?"

"His legs and right arm will be able to be replaced with the
regeneration process," I say gladly.

"And his left?"

Janeway would ask that. "The Doc is going to remove the arm
from the suit and reattach it. Then he's going to graft natural skin
over it. He believes that with the sensors in it and the neuro
connection to Chakotay's brain, that he'll be able to feel with it," I
say.

"We must rest before we return to assist the Doctor," Seven
states and pushes me along the hall after the Captain dismisses us.

When we get into the turbolift I inform her that I can get it
from here. She gets off at her level and I head for mine, suddenly
glad that Chakotay and I share the same deck, for that is where I'm
going. Once I'm in his quarters when it hit's me. It wasn't him.

I mean it was his body, but the entire time I was near him it
was like something was missing, as if he wasn't there. I can't put it
any other way. I chalk it up to his condition and move to his bedroom
still feeling welcomed. I hoist myself into his bed like I did earlier
and I snuggle up into his pillows.

I smell his scent everywhere and I snuggle deeper, wanting to
be surrounded by it. I may not be able to move my legs, but the rest
of me works just fine, even though till this moment I had doubted it.
But the hard on I'm sporting from just smelling him, and thinking
about his lips on mine, and how good he felt to hold that night in the
holodeck has done the trick.

I do feel a bit guilty, but my need is strong so I reach down
and rub myself, thinking of him and burying my face in his pillow. It
doesn't take long before I'm quietly crying out his name and panting
heavily. I know I should move and clean up, but the tension release
has left me weak and sleep is quickly upon me.

*****************

The Doc was working around the clock, so by the time I return
to Sickbay, Chakotay looks human again. I was more tired than I
imagined, and I slept for over twelve hours, and no one woke me. Of
course, as much as I want to help, I think they knew I probably
couldn't take the operation to reattach the Commanders limbs.

If it wasn't for the fact that I was told, I wouldn't be able
to tell that the left arm was any different from the right. He looked
so much like he did before, that I feel a smile cross my face as I
state, "Nice Job Doc."

It's about then that Captain Janeway enters and sees Chakotay,
still under heavy sedation laying on the biobed. "How is he?"

"The operations to reattach his limbs were successful. Though
they may be a bit weak, since in essence the muscles in them have
never been used," replies the Doc. "I'm about to wake him," he says,
suggesting caution, for no one knows how he'll react. I'm betting he
come around swing.

I move to the other side, for I want to be there for Chakotay
when he wakes up. I can't really imagine the nightmare he's been
through, but I want him to see I'm alive and that so is he. The Doc
administers the medicine the will undue the sedative.

"He should come around in a few."

Chakotay's eyes snap awake immediately. They look lost and
unfocused. The Doc moves in and leans over so Chakotay can see him,
and scan his condition. We all jump, that is, me, the Captain, and
even Seven, when Chakotay reaches up with his left hand and grabs the
Doc around the throat. Thankfully he's a hologram or he'd be choking
by now.

Then Chakotay sits up using his torso muscles; his eyes
focused on the Doctor, never loosening his grip. He then looks around,
but not really seeing, it was more like he was trying to comprehend
his situation. Then he looked back at the Doc and his first words iced
my soul.

"You will be assimilated. Resistance is futile."

Seven stepped up. "Configure. Identify."

Chakotay turned to look at her. I could see that he was
actually seeing her this time. Then he spoke again with that cool
monotone voice that sent a frozen shockwave through me. "Configure
Q-Alpha Beta One. Identity, Four of Six. Configure, Identify," he said
to Seven.

She did and then ordered him to release the Doc, but Chakotay
stated, "Authorization denied."

I couldn't take much more of this. This was Chakotay, not some
Borg drone. This just can't be. I reach out and touch his right arm,
"Chakotay, stop this!"

I don't think anyone was expecting him to jump like he did.
But when I touched him he looked at me with a glare as he jumped away
from me. At the same time he did release the Doc. Then he continued to
stare at me as if he'd never seen me before or anyone like me.

"Cha?" I say softly and reach out again. To my surprise he
moves away from me, but continues to stare at me.

"Access code," Chakotay states.

"What are you talking about? Chakotay, it's me Tom. Your home,
back on Voyager, don't you understand this?" I feel tears stinging my
eyes as I stare into his and see.emptiness.

"You are Commander Chakotay of the USS Voyager. Do you
comply?" Seven asks.

Chakotay looks at her as if she isn't making sense, though I
get that from the empty look in his eyes, nothing more.

"Chakotay?" Janeway says as she steps closer to him.

Chakotay turns to the sound of the voice and stares at her.
First blankly, then states, "Access code."

"Chakotay, it's me. Kathryn. Kathryn Janeway, don't you
remember?"

I wanted to say if he didn't remember me, he won't remember
you, but then something in his manner changes. I'm not sure what it
is, but I'm not sure if I like it.

"Kathryn?"

She smiles, "Yes, Chakotay, it's me, Kathryn." She steps
closer and reaches a hand out and caresses his cheek. It's the first
time in years that I ever felt jealous. Not because she touched him,
but because he reached up and took her hand and held it. What made her
so damn special?

"Kathryn? Kathryn, what.where.?" he looked around, his eyes
starting to show some life again, but they still seemed too empty for
me. But that could be for he never really looked at me, as if I didn't
exist to him anymore.

"It's okay, Chakotay," she says. "You were taken by the Borg,
but we have you back, You're going to be alright," she smiles.

"Borg?" then he squeezes his eyes closed, "my head hurts," he
says softly.

"I think you have had more than enough for today, Commander,"
The Doc replies as he gives Chakotay something for the pain and help
him rest.

"Something's wrong," I say.

"He's got a long road to recovery, Tom. We can't really expect
him to bounce back like it didn't happen," The Captain replies.

I nod that I understand, but inside I feel that it's more than
that. But since it's just a feeling, and I'm not really sure if my
jealousy has a part to play in it. I mean, I pictured him at least
smiling at me, acknowledging me, something.for me! But then I feel
pretty shallow and do my best to let it go. When the Doc states he's
going to keep Chakotay in Sickbay for a few day for observation and
test, I know my days at the only place that felt like home in this
damn quadrant is numbered. I say my good nights, since I don't have to
wait for any shift to end, I'm still on extended medical leave, and
head back to Chakotay's quarters to get at least one more good nights
rest.

When I get there I use his shower and I've brought some
clothes with me so I can change. I also bring a wet cloth and a towel
with me, since I know how I'll feel being in his bed again. This time
as I lay down to rest, I can't forget how empty his eyes looked, even
after he recognized the Captain. It still felt like something was
missing, something small perhaps, but what ever it is, it makes a
difference.

After being overwhelmed by Chakotay's scent, still strong in
his bed, and releasing the sexual tension I felt, I lay here close to
sleep, but I'm haunted still by Chakotay's empty eyes. My mind starts
to go over the reports of the rescue operation that I've over heard,
and it could just be me, but I think we got really lucky. The last
time we engaged the Queen, we lost three men, to death, thank
goodness.well you know what I mean. This time, we didn't lose anyone,
but as B'Elanna would say, it was just good timing on our behalf.

I try to change the subject by thinking of my owe schedule. I
have physical therapy, and a counseling session with Tuvok, better him
than the Doc, then it's off to the holo deck to run more SIMM's. I'm
determined to prove to the Captain that I can still fly, even from
this chair. I mean, really, I don't use my legs anyway; I don't see
why it should matter?

"One step at a time," I say to myself. Then I chuckle at how
stupid that sounds coming from me. But it is good advice. We got
Chakotay back, and with time I know I'll be able to reach him, maybe
even.no I won't go there, it'll hurt to much if he.no. One day at a
time sounds much better.


*****End of Part 5*****