Title: Angstrom
Author: Kim Riley a.k.a. MYSTIC
WARNING: SOME SECTIONS OF THIS STORY HAVE GRAPHIC DESCRIPTIONS THAT
MAY PROVE DISTURBING
Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. Again since they are
no longer using them I've decided to take our boys out of the 'closet'
and let them play and be happy. Enjoy.
Summary: Sometimes the smallest things can set off great chain of
events, for good and for bad
Rating: R for language and sex
Pairing: Chakotay/ Paris
Feedback: Please! Mysticmcknight@hotmail.com

"Angstrom"

"Captain, I was only trying to make it authentic. It's twenty-first
century San Francisco," Tom explained as he stood before Captain
Janeway in her ready room.

"I won't have that kind of depravity on board my ship! This is a
Starfleet vessel, and that kind of behavior is not tolerated, you know
this. The only reason I'm not throwing you in the brig is because it
'was' just a holographic nightclub and you were being.'authentic', as
it were. But you will delete it and you will never, and I do mean
never create or participate in the creation of such things again. Do
you understand me, Mister?"

"Yes, Captain."

"Good. Now go and get rid of that.that program. Dismissed."

Tom headed out of Captain Janeway's office and straight to the
holodeck. He noticed that the program he had worked so many hours on
was still running since he had been called to the Captain's ready
room. He entered inside to be greeted by the twenty-first century
nightclub he was creating. He did have ulterior motives for making the
place, one was to find out if there would be any tolerance on board
Voyager, even all the way out here in the Delta, which he found out
there wouldn't be. He also made it a San Francisco club on purpose for
he could truthfully state that he was making it authentic if anyone
balked about same sex coupling that took place, for he was tired of
being in the closet and was hoping to finally come out.

He knew like everyone else that Starfleet had no tolerance for same
sex coupling on board their vessels. They barely tolerated it in those
they contracted with, but not with anyone who wanted to make Starfleet
a career. Tom had learned long ago that he had to keep that part of
himself suppressed, but as he got older it became more and more
difficult. Then having a taste of freedom before jail, he knew who he
was, so being shoved back in the closet was worse than it was before
he left it.

He moved in and smiled, letting himself forget what lay behind the
archway for a moment. //Once last fling? What the hell! // "Computer,
privacy lock, Paris 27 Omega," he stated. Then after the computer
confirmed it. "Run Paris program San Francisco 69," he grinned. The
computer beeped and then all the women disappeared from the area
leaving only the sexiest of men dancing, grooving to the rhythm around
them. Had he checked he would have noticed that someone was watching
him from the second floor of the nightclub.

Tom stripped off his uniform jacket and gathered a drink in one hand
and a cute guy in the other and slowly started to unwind. But only for
a few minutes, for as he was relaxing he was searching the area,
looking for something or someone. He spotted them, and moved across
the floor. "Care to dance?" he asked.

The big dark handsome man turned to him and smiled, "Sure, babe."

Tom knew it was just a holographic version of Chakotay, but he had
been in love with the big man for so long, that simple dreams were not
enough anymore. He knew the First Officer was the epitome of
heterosexuals united, but it didn't stop the feelings from flowing.
Even if the Captain would have been more open, he still wouldn't have
done anything about his love for Chakotay, but at least he could have
found someone he could be true with.

But that was to be denied him, so he allowed himself to be taken in by
the holographic world he had for this last moment, and moved into the
strong arms he so desired and the two of them started to dance. The
beat was fast and he was personally proud as to how the program could
move the big body he has lusted over the years for. He couldn't get
over how sexy Chakotay looked in black tight pants, a deep red shirt
and a matching black jacket.

After a minute, Tom was being sandwiched between another sexy man and
Chakotay, loving every bit of it, then the other man grabbed him and
the two of them started to get very friendly. Tom had lost track of
Chakotay, losing himself in the touch of being manhandled, the way he
longed for. Then the music changed, to a slower beat.

Tom was a bit startled, but he did program a random DJ for the
program. Then he felt another pair of strong arms pulling him back. He
turned to see Chakotay, smiling at him, and then the big man wrapped
his arms around Tom's waist and the two of them slowed danced
together. Tom felt wonderful, this was almost a dream come true. He
rubbed his hands up Chantey's strong back, feeling how smooth the red
shirt felt on the big man, then looked up into the eyes he adored.

Tom then felt warm lips touch his. Strong arms pull him tight, a soft
moist tongue begging to be allowed entrance, and Tom allowed it. The
kiss was searing, and Tom felt his body explode with fire and desire
under the skilled mouth that was enveloping him. When the kiss finally
broke for Tom needed to breathe, he hugged Chakotay and chuckled.

"Something wrong?"

"Nothing, just that my holographic skills are either getting much
better or I've gotten that much more desperate," he joked, then leaned
back knowing the hologram wouldn't know what he was talking about.
"Never mind," he said and leaned in for another soul searing kiss. He
felt strong hands move down his lower back and cup his butt, squeezing
it possessively, and Tom let out a soft moan. "Don't stop," he
whispered as he pulled Chakotay closer to him.

"Your wish is my command," Chakotay replied in a breathy purr.

"Then I command you to love me for ever," Tom replied as he locked
lips with his hearts desire, not caring that it was only a holographic
character. He needed this, and he needed it now.

Just then the red alert klaxon sounded. "FUCK!" Tom shouted. This was
unfair. He had to delete this program and.hell! "Computer, end
program" he shouted and dashed out to report to the bridge. He'd
handle the program another time. He didn't take notice of the person
staring at him as the program vanished.


**************

The situation had been minor, but it did leave Voyager a bit beaten
and worn. Some away missions had to be sent to gather food, and other
needed supplies. The farthest team was Chakotay's for they had the job
of gathering the food. They had the longest wait, three days, before
Voyager would meet up with them.

Chakotay not had only the job of heading the mission but piloting the
shuttle to and from the tiny moon that held a vast amount of what they
needed. He just shut down the engines glad to be back, and gave a
smile to his team and they knew they could get started an unload. He
moved out of the shuttle and was pleased to see that many of the crew
had volunteered to help them, as was the unwritten tradition that
developed over the years.

The First Officer gave his thanks and started to move out of the
shuttle bay to make his report when he ran straight into Harry Kim.
"Sir, you gotta do something!" he pleased softly.

"Whoa, do what?" he said, placing a clam hand on the young man's
shoulder. "What's the problem? Remember, I just got back," he smiled.

Harry looked around and gestured that the hall was no place to discuss
this. They moved to an empty observation lounge and Harry locked the
door. "Sir, you've always come across as open minded, even more
tolerant than others may be. I mean, we're stuck out here, how can we
expect others to hold to such ridged and stupid ideas anyway!"

"Harry.sit down," Chakotay said softly, taking a seat himself. "Now,
why don't you tell me what's going on."

Harry sat down and took a deep breath. "Tom's been kicked off the
ship."

Chakotay's eyes went wide. "Why?"

Harry looked embarrassed, "he.he was caught.indulging." he let out a
deep breath.

"Harry, spit it out. What did Tom do?"

"Tom turned out to be gay," Harry finally stated. "He was caught
having sex with a man." Harry felt as if a huge weight had just been
lifted from his shoulders.

"Then who else got kicked off?"

"No one, it wasn't a real man.," Harry started to get upset again.
"Commander, you got to do something, please! It's wrong to just dump
him off on some inhabited rock just because he couldn't deny himself
anymore. Please, please tell me you understand this?"

Chakotay looked at the young ensign and felt proud of him for being
willing to stand up for his best friend. Chakotay knew that many would
not do so, and Starfleet was notorious for their closed mindedness
that surrounded this issue. "I'll see what I can do, Harry. I
promise."

Chakotay laid a reassuring hand on Harry then left. Harry could see by
the stride the Commander was using that he was angry about this, but
would it be enough, he wasn't sure, but he didn't know what else to
do.

*************

Chakotay strode on the bridge. He saw Janeway turn to greet
him, "Your office, now." He said in his quiet angry voice he was
famous for. He didn't even wait to see if she would or not, he walked
in her office to wait for her.

He turned to see her move in, the anger in her face. "How dare
you," she said in her quiet angry voice.

"How dare I? How dare you! How could you kick Tom off the ship
like this?" he demanded. "He's the best pilot this ship has ever had,
not to mention probably ever will have. Plus, I can't believe you
would strand someone out in the middle of nowhere because they decided
to focus their natural desires into a hologram? Just how much do you
ignorant Starfleet people think a person can deny of themselves?"

"Starfleet regulations are clear."

"I don't give a damn about regulations, Captain. Not when it
hurts good men and woman of this crew! Tom Paris has done nothing but
his best since we were stranded out here in the Delta quadrant.
Spirits, Kathryn. You, yourself got me to open my eyes to this. How
could you do it?"

Janeway looked angry, she didn't expect her First Officer to
turn on her like this. "Again, the regulations are clear, Commander.
Everyone on board knew them and agreed to them. Tom violated them and
he chose to be left behind then serve brig time. This is the end of
it," she snapped.

"Turn the ship around, Captain. We can't leave him like this,"
Chakotay said, letting his eyes plead for compassion from her.

"The matter is closed, Commander. I suggest you get use to
it," she said then turned to exit her office.

"Not by a long shot, Captain," Chakotay vowed softly after she
left.


************************


Later that night, Chakotay stood in his quarters with the
senior members of his former Maquis. He listened to them tell him that
Tom had been caught by Engine Jennings, and he reported it to the
Captain. Apparently Jennings noticed an unauthorized program running
and being security decided to check it out.

The violation was reported to the Captain at once, and Tom was
called before her. The next thing they knew was that Tom was being
left behind, his choice. That was the end of it.

"And did any of you try to do more?" he asked in a quiet tone?

"With all due respect, Sir, but why?" Dalby asked. "What he
was doing was wrong."

"Oh shut up, Kevin!" B'Elanna replied. Then looked at her
friend, "What could we do? We were not involved in this, and.well.we
didn't." she looked down.

"Wanted to be involved in it. Afraid of having accusations
against yourselves? I thought you were the type of people that stood
up for what was right?" Chakotay said, standing up to make his point.
"What happened during my absence was wrong, and you all know it!" he
growled.

"Commander." B'Elanna tried to say as she reached for her
friend, but he shoved her off.

"Get out," he said in his quite voice. "All of you."

"Captain?" young Geron stated, not understanding why his
former Captain was so angry at them. He didn't know about Tom leaving
till this morning when someone finally mentioned it.

"Don't call me that!" Chakotay snapped. "None of you hold the
privilege of calling me that. My crew wouldn't have tolerated such
discrimination and outright injustice. I don't know who you people
are, but you are 'not' my crew. And as far as I am concerned, I'm only
your First officer. Now get out!"

When the last person left, Chakotay moved from where he stood
to his desk and pulled out a bottle of real alcohol, which he had kept
over the years. To night he had need of it. He didn't even bother with
a glass for he opened it and drank one large gulp. Then he sat in his
chair looking at the stars that no longer looked friendly to him. //No
on deserves that kind of fate, especially you, Tom.// Then he turned
to his computer and set to work to find a way to make right this
travesty of justice.


**************
Day three of my exile. I don't know how long I'll keep this
journal, but for now it's something to do. The tiny planet has no
hostile inhabitants, meaning animals or plants, and there is food, and
I have been given all I need to grow more, and survive here.all but
company that is.

I explained before what happened. That I decided to indulge in
my holographic fantasy of Commander Chakotay and got caught. Sad part
was that it wasn't even worth it. It.it didn't feel anywhere as good
as it did that first night before the red alert sounded. Oh well, that
just goes to show you how the Paris luck runs for me. I get caught
fucking a man, and I don't even really enjoy it.

Well, the shelter is finished and so is most of the basics.
The stars are beautiful, that much I have to say. Okay, they're not
that great either. But I have to have something, or I'll go out of my
mind. I know, I know, I could of chosen the brig, but I couldn't face
him. It would have been bad enough with the crew finding out about me,
I probably could have tolerated their hatred.hell I did it before,
again would be no sweat.right?

But I couldn't face Chakotay. I mean, it was with his image
that I got caught using. I couldn't stand for him to hate me again. He
has meant everything to me over the years. He was the reason I wanted
to change, and he was my template as to how to do it. I'm far from
ever being like him, but when I finally won his respect and even
started to have his friendship.I couldn't bare to see it all slip from
his eyes.

Want to hear pathetic? I have this obscured notion that
Chakotay will come to my rescue. Is that not funny or what? Truly
pathetic, I know. But.I guess a part of me needs to believe it. I'll
give it a couple of months, it'll fade away like most things. Probably
by then I'll be able to end things, but.I'm not ready to lay down and
die.

Tomorrow I'm gong to start to set up the last of the supplies
and then I guess I'll have to start making plans to how I want my home
to be? Home.what a depressing word.


****END OF PART ONE**********