Title: I Never
Series: Welcome-verse (or DQL-verse as I seem to be calling this)
Spoilers: Up to "Pathfinder" in Voyager's Sixth Season... so if ya
don't want to be spoiled *don't* read it! As parts of these stories
react to events portrayed in Season Six. And since this is *also*
part of the "Welcomes" universe, there are the normal deviations.
Codes: VOY, C/K, P/7, JDelaney/Carey
Rating: R (For adult situations)
Disclaimer: If I owned these characters Chakotay would have gone
after Seven much sooner than he did, and the that was P/T
would have remained an aberration that died a slow death in the wake
of "Day of Honor"... and most definitely would have scorched and burned
in the wake of "Thirty Days"
Notes: Thoughts of the characters are contained between the double
forward slashes (//).
Notes 2: I've read some pretty funny treatments of fandom characters
playing the drinking game "I Never". And thought it'd be funny for the
DQL-verse younger senior officers (Harry, Tom, B'Elanna, Seven), the
DQLs (Sue Nicoletti, Jenny and Megan Delaney) and SOs (so far just Joe
Carey for Jenny), got together for a little "I Never" bonding.
Notes 3: In order to make the story work better, Seven's alcohol
intolerance has decreased, or down right doesn't exist. So ignore that
little event from "Timeless" okay?
Summary: The younger senior officers decide to bond using a twentieth
century drinking game.
Dedicated to: My Twin, the person who puts up with the wacky CR@P I write in ICQ only, Leone
Seven of Nine answers the door and smiles at the couple standing there. "You have arrived. Please, come in."
Jenny Delaney rolls her eyes at her friend. "What are we doing here?"
Joe Carey lets Seven take the bottles of alcohol they were asked to bring, and takes in the quarters of Voyager's Senior Pilot. "And what's with the alcohol?"
"It will all be explained when everyone arrives. Please, sit in the lounge and pour yourself a glass of water."
The door chimes again, and Seven answers it, smiling at the remaining members of the party. She takes the bottles of alcohol they offer her and puts them on the table. Harry notices that the owner of the quarters isn't there. "Seven?"
"He is getting *his* contribution to the night's entertainment. *I* had enough replicator rations to produce a bottle."
"But I thought..."
Seven just smiles at his confusion. "And he will. For now, sit and relax, drink some water." Seven begins opening the bottles of alcohol and preparing the mixed drinks Tom had taught her in the previous week. //Pitcher of Margaritas. Jungle Juice, strange name for a beverage. And straight shots of whiskey. Now all we need is Thomas and the beer.//
The door opens and Tom comes inside with a large, silver, padded bag over one shoulder. He carefully puts it down next to Seven and then looks over at their guests. //Okay the first gathering we've held together, and we're planning on getting everyone shit-faced. Fun!//
He helps Seven bring over the shots, pitchers, bottles, and glasses. They set them up in the center of the coffee table and both sit side by side on the floor. Everyone else looks at each other and they shrug as if to say, "When in Rome...", then join their hosts on the floor.
B'Elanna locks gazes with Tom and says, "Okay Flyboy. We're here, and we all brought the alcohol Seven wanted us to. What's up?"
"We're going to bond over alcohol."
Sue grins at her friend's comment. "Like a drinking game? I read about those in my history of popular culture class back at the Academy. Will it involve an old television program or movie?"
Seven turns to her boyfriend, "Thomas? Feel free to answer Susan's question at any time."
"Love you too, Angel." Seven reaches over and plants one on him before his sarcasm gets out of control. He blinks dazedly at her.
"Oh man, he's gone," Megan intones.
"Bite me, Meggie."
"Bend over so I can take out a chunk, Tommy."
Seven pins her friend with a look. "There will be no biting of my paramour, Megan. I think what he suffered at the hands of my closest friends in the wake of our coming together was enough, don't you?"
"Yeah, but I didn't mean anything by it."
Jenny smacks her sister's shoulder. "Then shut up about it, dummy. So, what's the game, Tom?"
Joe's eyebrow did a remarkable imitation of Tuvok's as he says, "You never, what?"
"The game, it's called 'I Never'. The basic premise is that everyone takes turns in making statements about things they've never done, like 'I've never been to Disneyland Mars'. If the others have done the thing you just announced you've never done, they have to take a drink. The first person to pass out loses." He watches everyone take in that comment and then stare at the *real* alcohol on the table before them, he merely smirks.
Harry clears his throat. "What kind of questions can be asked?"
"What's the limit of your imagination?" Tom counters.
Megan grins suddenly. "So we can ask anything we want?"
"Yes, Meggie, we can. But I think we should make a few rules. Anything we say in here we *keep* in here. And no one gets to hold grudges about what they find out. And there are to be *no hard feelings*."
Seven adds, "According to the research I did when helping Thomas prepare for this event, also revealed that often the game ended long before the passing out stage could be reached."
Seven grins at Jenny. "Because by drinking or not drinking you're tacitly admitting you have or have not done what they're asking. Sometimes it gets a little personal."
"So, you make personal confessions of your inexperience in various matters in an attempt to force us to drink to unconsciousness?"
"Exactly. So, you guys game?"
Sue, Megan, and Jenny exchange a look and then grin. Together, and in perfect harmony they sing, "We're in."
Tom snorts at their answer and turns to his best friend. "Harry?"
"What the hell. I'll give anything a go, once."
"And miss out on asking you all sorts of good questions? Not on your life, Paris."
"I think I will win. I am half-Klingon."
"Never underestimate the power of a good human constitution. Okay, just so everyone knows, I told the Doc about this game and if you need a detoxer in the morning he'll only give you the usual amount of crap about it."
Harry can't resist. "I was wondering why you asked to get us all here on the day before we take a day off for shift changes."
"I'm talented, and you're dating the XO so I could waggle it."
Seven stops the conversation before it escalates. "Everyone take a beverage. We have Margaritas, Whiskey, Beer, and Jungle Juice." Everyone pours themselves a drink and gets settled. "I will start. I have never been to San Francisco."
Groans meet her statement as everyone else had to take a drink. Tom continues. "I never moan about getting back to Earth." Everyone glares at him, and all but Seven take a drink.
Joe grins at him. "I never kissed Tom Paris." Everyone but Tom takes a drink and Joe has to ask, "Harry?"
Harry blushes and tries to hide within himself. Tom laughs and replies, "Let's just say that Harry is an affectionate drunk." Laughter meets his statement.
Sue smirks at her statement. "I never had sex in a Jeffries' tube." Tom, B'Elanna, Harry, and Joe take drinks. She raises an eyebrow when neither Delaney does. "You two never?"
Jenny and Megan grin at their friend. "There are better things to do in Jeffries tubes than get raw knees and weird patterns on your back," Megan replies.
"Okay. Moving right along. Harry?"
Harry smirks at his best friend. "I never crashed the Delta Flyer." Tom swears and takes a drink.
Jenny grins and says, "I never kissed a woman." Everyone drinks at that and eyebrows go up.
Tom stares at his girlfriend. "Seven?"
She shrugs. "I kissed Megan. A rude man was staring at me on our last shore leave. After the kiss, he had to be dragged away by his wife."
"Not that I am aware of." She turns to look at Megan. "Your turn."
"I never drank beer at a sporting event." Only Tom takes a drink at that. By this time people are feeling a little tipsy, but everyone refills their cups and Tom switches to beer. B'Elanna grins at them all. "I never took survival training." The 'Fleet officers groan and drink.
"I never had a teenage rebellion." Everyone drinks.
"I never lusted after Joe Carey." Only Jenny drinks.
"I never lusted after Tom Paris." Only Harry and Tom don't drink.
"I never swung by my ankles on the monkey bars." Everyone but Seven drinks.
Seven gets a confused look on her face. "Monkey bars?"
Sue explains it to her friend. "They're a common piece of equipment on playgrounds throughout human culture. Most people hang on them by their ankles, at least once."
"Ah, strange custom. It is your turn, Harrison."
He grins and says, "I never kissed B'Elanna Torres." Tom glares at him and takes his drink.
"I never lusted after Commander Tuvok."
Only B'Elanna drinks and eyebrows are raised. "What? It was after my counseling. I understand it's a common malady. Besides, have you seen his butt in his workout outfit?"
Megan sighs in remembrance. "Yeah, it's nice."
Jenny grins. "Take a drink sister dear. That sounds like lusting to me."
Megan grumbles, takes her drink, and then states, "I never lied to Neelix's face about his food." Everyone drinks then.
"I never owned a pet." B'Elanna smirks when only Harry, Joe and Tom have to drink at her statement.
"I never went to Starfleet Academy." Seven watches as everyone else has to drink.
"I never got sexually aroused by engineering specs." Jenny snorts when she notices that all four engineers have to drink at that. She raises an eyebrow at Seven.
Seven raises one in return. "I do not have to admit more than that, Jennifer. Joe, it's your turn."
Joe smirks over at Tom. "I never lusted after Captain Janeway."
"Damnit! That doesn't count! I wasn't myself."
Sue laughs with maniacal glee. "You made babies, Tommyboy. That *so* counts as lust."
"Fine," Tom finishes off his third beer and grabs another. "But if I have to drink for that, Harry *so* has to drink too."
"I go, you go, Buddy." Tom watches with an evil grin as Harry finishes off his latest margarita and pours himself another. //Someone is so going to be out by the end of the round.// He turns to Sue. "Your turn, Nicoletti."
Sue grins, remembering stories she'd heard from people at this table. "I never went to the Castro." Tom, Harry, Joe, Jenny, Megan, and B'Elanna all drink. Seven merely grins at her friend.
Harry decides to get even for all the pointed comments he's gotten. He smirks at Tom. "I never sang in public."
Everyone drinks, and everyone looks at Tom. Megan looks at him. "I thought you required drugs to sing in public."
"I do. And there's a perfectly good reason why. I was traumatized at an early age about public singing. Hence, the need for drugs now."
Seven cuddles up to his side, really starting to feel the alcohol now. "It's all right, Thomas. I will protect you from my friends."
Tom smiles and leans down to kiss her. "I never had any real doubt, Angel."
Everyone drinks at his statement. Then, Megan and B'Elanna start gagging. "Spare us! Some of us need to keep our sugar intakes down."
Tom breaks away from the kiss and smirks at the two women. "Then explain the Midori sours in front of yourselves." They get quiet, and Tom looks at Jenny. "Next statement, Jennifer."
"I never had a day of honor."
B'Elanna glares at her. "That's not fair! I'm the only Klingon!"
"So? Rules state it can be anything. That's included. Take a drink, Lieutenant." B'Elanna takes her drink, noticeably swaying.
Megan grins. "I never got circumcised." All three men take drinks, and the women grin at each other.
"I never played 'snapjack'." All three 'Fleet brats, Harry, and Seven take drinks. B'Elanna grins at her fellow Engineers.
Seven grins, deciding to continue the games theme. "I never played tag as a child." Everyone else drinks.
Tom grins at Megan. "I never had a period." The women all glare, but take their drinks.
Joe says, "I never learned to sew." Jenny, Megan, and B'Elanna all take drinks. "Lieutenant?"
B'Elanna raises an eyebrow. "I never claimed to be good at it. But I had to learn when I was younger. My mother decided no Klingon woman should be without the basic skills of household management."
Sue smirks at the man next to her. "I never lusted after Commander Chakotay."
Harry, B'Elanna, Seven, and Tom all take drinks. B'Elanna grins at her ex. "Something you want to tell us, Tom?" Then she passes out.
Seven reaches over and removes the drink from her hand. "She lost. Last man standing?" Nods go around the table. "Thomas, I was not aware you had ever been attracted to the Commander."
"Who says it's past tense?" Tom grins at her.
"Really? Interesting idea. I will consider it."
Harry, thoroughly drunk by now, says, "You can have him if you want. He's become *so* overprotective and jealous recently. For instance, he wanted to come here tonight."
"And what did you do about it?"
"I looked him right in the eye and said, 'Cha, these are *my* friends. Normally we'd welcome you, but Seven said that you weren't invited tonight.' *Then* he went off on this jealous rant. I left -hic- before he got into the Tom/Harry the early years portion." Harry lies down on the ground, curling into himself, then falls asleep.
Jenny grabs a nearby blanket to throw over him, pushing his hair from his face. "Poor guy. He's got a jealous older lover with an ass of steel. CRAP!" She takes a drink, as she had admitted to lusting after Chakotay. She looks at the others still conscious. "Whose turn is it?"
"It's yours, Jennifer."
"Oh yeah, what with Ensign Dork here passing out. Okay, let me see," she trails off, then grins evilly. "I never dated two people at once."
Megan slaps her sister's shoulder, then takes her drink. Both Tom and Joe join her. Megan then says, "I never got ten demerits in a single month at the Academy." Both Jenny and Tom take drinks.
"I never played a prank on a sibling." The four remaining players all take drinks.
Tom looks to the still unconscious B'Elanna. "I never let Vic tease me about my butt." All four women take drinks.
"I never released anything I've recorded at Morale Records." The others glare at him, but take their drinks.
"I never had sex before reaching the Academy." Tom and Seven take drinks. "Seven?"
"I have had sex, and will not reach the Academy for sometime. It applies. Your turn, Jennifer."
Megan pours herself another glass of jungle juice, noticeably swaying by now. "I never chewed gum." Tom and Joe take drinks, then Joe blinks a few times before slumping to the ground.
Tom moves him to the ground and looks at Jenny. "He's not much of an Irishman, is he?"
"Shut your hole, Tommyboy. I've still got a few questions on my mind."
Megan grins evilly at him as well. "I never drove an internal combustion engine." Both Tom and Seven drink at that.
Seven grins at the other three women. "I never watched 'Desperate Remedies'." They all take drinks, and Sue barely puts her glass back on the table before she passes out.
Tom quirks an eyebrow at the twins and says, "I never had an identical twin." They both take a drink.
"I never dated a woman." Both Megan and Tom drink at that.
"I never had to help Boothby." Both Jenny and Tom drink.
Seven says, "I never slept over at someone else's cabin while a child." The other three drink.
"I never cried over the ending of a movie." All three women drink.
"I never..." Jenny couldn't continue as she passes out then.
"Well, for sure it's, 'She never won at I Never'." Tom helps Megan get her situated on the ground and then sits back down next to Seven. "Your turn, Meggie."
"I never used fighting, in any form, as foreplay." Tom swears and takes a drink.
"I never had sex with a woman." Both Tom and Megan take drinks.
"I never had sex with a man while other people were watching." Megan takes a drink, while glaring at Tom.
"I never had sex with more than one person." No one drinks and Megan's eyebrows raises.
"I never claimed to be a total pervert." Seven drinks at Tom's statement, and the other two laugh.
"I never complained about duty assignments." Both Tom and Megan drink.
Tom considers for a minute. "I never lost my first virginity to a man." Only Seven drinks to that. Tom raises an eyebrow at Megan. "You lost your virginity to a woman."
"Oh yes, very good lover. Summer before the Academy, which is why Jenny said what she did earlier." She watches as Seven refills her glass, finishing off the margarita pitcher. "I never began the process for assimilation to the Borg."
Seven rolls her eyes and takes the drink, as Tom does as well. "I never met a Federation Ambassador besides Neelix." Megan sticks her tongue out at her friend, then both Tom and Megan take a drink.
"I never got excited about a bolt of fabric." Megan drinks.
"I never helped design a new shuttle craft." Both Seven and Tom have to drink.
Before Seven can make her next statement, Megan slumps over. She raises an eyebrow. "Are we going to continue playing, Thomas?"
"Why? We won, or we can claim you won. I'm pretty close to passing out now."
Seven nods her head in agreement. "Shall we clean up and set people up for more comfortable sleeping?"
Tom rises and begins to collect the glasses and empty bottles of beer. Seven takes the pitchers and shots of whiskey to the dining room table. Then they both begin stowing the various bottles of alcohol in safe places. Seven rinses out the glasses and pitchers in the bathroom sink, letting them dry on the table.
Tom gathers the blankets and pillows he had been collecting since the idea for this game came up between the pair of them. Then he put a pillow under each person's head and a blanket over each person. Seven replicates a dosage of analgesic for each person and orders a glass of water to be delivered when each person orders it the next morning.
They both manage to arrange people in the most comfortable positions, near to where they'd passed out, only truly moving Jenny near Joe. Then they move into the bedroom and get ready for bed. Seven drinks her glasses of water and takes her analgesic. She quickly gets ready for bed and walks into the bedroom.
Tom smiles at her and goes into the bathroom, kissing her on the cheek as he passes. She climbs into bed, glad she had gotten used to sleeping before this. Tom joins her and then calls, "Darken windows. External ambiance only." The lights go off and the couple settles into their bed, cuddling each other.
Seven whispers. "I never played 'I never'."
Tom chuckles and kisses her. "Goodnight, Angel."
"Goodnight, Thomas." She settles into his side and closes her eyes.