By Morticia

P/others C/P

Disclaimer Ė part 1


Tom sat in sickbay, clutching a blanket around himself and trying to stay calm as the Doctor stalked around him in the supercilious way that only he seemed able to carry with such panache.

"It is my duty to report sexual abuse of this nature to the Captain" he repeated in that smug manner which made Tom want to decompile him.

"I TOLD you, I was NOT abused. This was consensual" Tom hissed.

"I find that hard to believe" The Doctor sniffed, "Even YOU should have more sense than this." He waived the tricorder in Tomís face "Multiple lacerations, severe internal bleeding, a dislocated shoulder, a broken nose, a split lip, two cracked teeth, severe bruising to your groin area, a twisted testicleÖ. Need I go on? I have studied the varied mating habits of a number of species,. I have even tended to some of the less socially acceptable results of your relationship with Miss Torres, but I have never experienced any species who believe that this level of physical damage is a necessary part of a sexual ritual. Indeed if BíElanna hadnít reported a medical emergency and had you beamed here you may well have bled to death."

"Yeah, good old BíElanna" Tom muttered to himself "must have worried sheíd get the blame for killing me."

"Although why she has involved herself when you are evidently betraying her with another crew member is beyond my programming!" huffed the Doctor in disgust.

"Yeah, well BíElanna and I are finished. I guess Iím just not into commitment" Tom smirked.

"Committal would seem more appropriate under the circumstances" the Doctor murmured as he walked into his office. Tom contemplated taking the opportunity to escape since the worst of his injuries had been dealt with, but the thought of walking down the corridor in a blanket was not particularly appealing. He wondered whether he could get a new uniform from the sickbay dispenser. Before he could act on the thought the Doctor emerged from his office.

"It seems that the Captain has taken this week for a well deserved vacation. Sheís on holodec 2 and unavailable except for emergencies. I donít think that this situation qualifies as an emergency."

Tomís anger at the fact that the Doctor had gone against his wishes was tempered by the fact that he was not going to get her out of the Holodec over this. Good old Kathryn. She sure knew when to take a holiday. His body started to shake a little with relief but then the Doctor dropped his bombshell.

"Therefore, Commander Chakotay is on his way and will deal with the situation."

The bottom dropped out of Tomís world. Chakotay. Oh my GodÖheíll see right through me.

"You bastard! I told you that I didnít want anyone else told. And Chakotay HATES me."

"I do not appreciate profanity in the sickbay, Mr. Paris. I told you that it was my duty to report this form of physical damage and as to your last point, I do not believe the Commander hates you. At least no more than the rest of us do!" The last sentence was so quiet that Tom barely heard it, but he did hear it and it nearly shattered his fragile self-control.

When the familiar tingling of the transporter beam had permeated his consciousness in Maintenance. His first thought had been oh God no, just let me die in peace, but then his Mask had slipped back into place. He had materialised in sickbay with a cocky smirk on his face.

After stabilising him and dealing with the worst of his injuries, the Doctor had looked at him closely and with sub-routine SYMPATHY 1 had said softly

"Are you alright, Mr. Paris. You seem to have been crying!"

"Of course Iíve been crying, I dislocated my shoulder! Who wouldnít cry!"

"I mean are you emotionally alright. It is a terrible thing to cope with being a victim of rape."

That had been the moment when all of Tomís defenses had slammed into place. He wasnít a victim. He couldnít live with being a victim. The pseudo pity in the Doctorís eyes almost unmade him then and there. He knew he would shatter into a million pieces if anyone saw into his soul.

"Rape?" he drawled sarcastically, "God, Doctor, you need to get out more. This wasnít rape. It was sex. I admit that it got a bit out of hand but when have you ever known Tom Paris to do anything by halves?"

The Doctor blinked, sub-routine CONFUSION 4, "You are surely not serious, Paris" he replied, casting furiously around his programming for an explanation. Perhaps this was a coping mechanism "Donít be embarrassed, Mr. Paris. It is quite normal for victims to deny what has happened."

"I told you. Iím not a fucking victim. I am not embarrassed except by the fact that Iím sitting naked in your sickbay. I require nothing but a uniform and to go back to my quarters."

That was when the Doctor had decided he could not cope with the situation anymore and had called Chakotay.

Now the two of them sat in hostile silence. Tom contemplated just getting up and leaving but was pretty sure the Doc would call security.

"Besides, where are you going to go, Paris?" he asked himself softly "where are you going to hide on a ship this size?" An unwelcome image of himself hiding in his clothes closet jumped into his mind and he laughed hysterically.

The Doctor looked up to see Paris talking to himself and then laughing at nothing and if a holoprogramme could shiver then he would have. "Iím not programmed for this" he told himself self-pityingly and looked at Paris with growing irritation.

At that moment the Sickbay doors whispered open and Chakotay emerged, slightly out of breath as though he had been running. Tom did not bother to look up at him.

"Iím glad you are here" the Doctor said pompously, "Mr. Paris is being of no help whatsoever. It is quite obvious to me that he has been assaulted but he continues to deny it against all the evidenceÖ"

"Iíll take it from here, Doctor" Chakotay interrupted softly "you can go now"

"But Mr. Paris is still requiring treatment"

Chakotay smiled gently, dimples in abundance "Iíll take it from here. "

The Doctor huffed himself up in annoyance "Whilst Mr. Paris is in sickbay I really must insist."

"Computer, delete EMH" Chakotay snapped and with a look of shocked horror the Doctor dematerialized.

The commander turned to Tom and the gentle mask slipped off his face to be replaced by an animal fury.

"What the fuck are you playing at, Paris. You know better than to turn up in sickbay with injuries like these."

Paris rocked with confusion. "IÖ. IÖ BíElanna caught Dalby with me. She called the Doctor. It wasnít my fault."

" ĎIt wasnít my faultí " Chakotay mocked "Nothingís ever your fault is it Paris? Now Iím going to have to erase the Doctorís memory files or Dalby will be put in the brig for rape."

"But I told the Doctor it wasnít rape. Itís not my fault he doesnít believe me." Paris was confused. It seemed that Chakotay KNEW he had been raped but was only angry that the Doctor had found out. He knew Chakotay was angry but it seemed that the anger was directed all at Paris not Dalby and that confused the hell out of him.

"What the hell" he thought. "If he knows, I may as well get the sympathy. Maybe I can get out of bridge shift for a week."

"He hurt me really badly, Chakotay" Tom whined "He nearly killed me."

"I donít care if he reamed you a new asshole, Paris. Heís one of MY men. You knew when I sent you there this morning that it was for punishment, didnít you!"

Tom nearly fell off the bed in shock. He didnít recognise the man in front of him. Where had the respected first officer gone? Horrified light dawned on Tomís face "You mean, you mean you told him to, to, to do that to me?" he whispered in disbelief.

"Why not, Paris? Itís always been an effective way to keep you in line and cheer up the troops. Two for the price of one, so to speak."

Bewildered blue eyes looked up into dark eyes glistening with amused hatred.

"You mean, beforeÖthe MaquisÖthat was you?"

Chakotay sat on the next biobed and his shoulders began to shake with barely contained laughter.

"Oh, Paris. The look on your face. Of course it was me. The Maquis during your abortive attempt to join us, the Maquis in prison, the Maquis on board Voyager. All of them were under instruction from me. And you know something, Paris, every single one of them told me that you enjoyed it!"

Tom wanted to jump up and smash that laughing face, but he couldnít move, his body felt disconnected. "Shock" he thought, "Iím literally in shock"

"Oh donít look so horrified, Paris. Youíre just a natural whore and you obviously get off on being punished. Why shouldnít I take advantage of your needs? Look at it from my point of view, life was hard in the Maquis, sometimes I had to throw a little sweetener out to keep morale up. In the prison the Maquis needed every bit of comfort they could get, and when we first joined voyager no-one was happy about becoming Starfleet. You were just a tool to keep the peace. And you never told anyone. Thatís why you were ideal. You were so determined not to let people discover you were a victim that we could just keep doing it to you."

"But why now? After so long? Why did you let me think it was over?" Tom whisperedí

Chakotay laughed.

"Several reasons. Firstly, because you were getting too damned cocky and I wanted to wipe the smirk off your face. Secondly because BíElanna was falling in love with you and I wanted to cure the silly cow before it got too serious and finally, and most importantly, Iíve decided to give up on Kathryn. Itís never going to happen and I need a hole to jerk off in, and since I have certainÖ.. preferences Ö.that hole is going to be you!"

"A hole to jerk off in" Tom repeated to himself, "thatís what Dalby called me too. The bastard is telling the truth. Heís been behind it all!" The pain inside him threatened to rise up and choke him but anger won and he spat at Chakotay.

"Fuck you, Chakotay. Do you think I would let you anywhere near me now youíve told me this? Drop dead, you bastard!"

"I donít think you have any choice, Paris. Thereís no-one for you to turn to. I have spent months letting Harry Kim know that he hasnít a chance of promotion whilst he is your friend. And from what I hear you fell straight into a trap of your own pride and blew him out before he had a chance to end it. BíElanna now sees you as the scum you are and is likely to kill you if you go near her. Janeway hasnít forgiven you for your betrayal with the Moneans. You donít have any friends here. No-one will believe your word against mine"

"It doesnít matter. Iím still a member of this crew. There are Starfleet rules to protect me from you."

"Weíll I suppose youíre right, but if you told anyone about our conversation it would quickly get around the crew that you are the star whore of the delta quadrant. Itís your choice Paris. You can have a private relationship with me and keep your illusion of pride or the whole ship will find out that you are an ever-open asshole and that you get off on being raped. Open season on Tom Paris will start tomorrow!"

"You bastard." Tom choked, tears pouring down his face as the helplessness of his situation overwhelmed him.

"Itís up to you Paris. 22.00 my quarters if you come to your senses. If notÖwell all I can say is there will be an interesting anonymous article on the ship wide net tomorrow."

"See you later, Paris"

And Chakotay walked out of sickbay without a backward glance.