The Shattering of the Mask 10
Disclaimer : See Part 1
"Shit ,Tom! What did he do to you this time?" Geron asked in horror when they finished serving and were left alone to talk. The evident damage that Chakotay had done to Tom went far beyond the mild D/s he and Ayala practiced with mutual agreement. Even Dalby had winced when he had watched Tom hobbling brokenly around the table and had not been able to meet Tom's eyes as he was served his beer.
Tom hadn't merely been disciplined, he'd been abused, tortured! The multi-coloured bruises in evidence last week were now interspersed with vivid red welts and blackened scabs where Tom's skin had been broken.
"I think he's done some real damage to me this time, Geron. Forget sitting down, I can't fucking walk!" Tom gasped
"So why the hell don't you just let him fuck you instead!" Geron pleaded. "He's out of control, Tom. He could KILL you!"
"I never thought I'd admit to sinking this low, but just now being fucked sounds great in comparison." Tom admitted with chagrin
"So what's the problem? "
"He doesn't want to!" and Tom began to sob helplessly
"He must want to!" Geron replied reasonably, "He'd hardly have spent so much time making sure you would survive being fucked by him if he had no intention of doing it!"
"I know! I don't understand. He makes me, you know, prepare myself for him every day, without fail. He always checks I have done it. But he never does anything about it. He just paddles me instead and it's getting worse! Each time it's more vicious, more painful!" Tom wailed in confusion.
"Then there's something you are still doing wrong." Geron advised wisely.
"Something you do makes him choose to do that, instead of what he obviously really wants. You must be disappointing him in some way. Somehow you aren't fulfilling his expectations. To be honest, Tom, you aren't being Simon yet"
"That's because I'm not Simon! Simon's dead! I'm Tom Paris!" Tom snapped bitterly
"Tom Paris doesn't seem like a good person to be, Tom" Geron replied gently "Would it be so impossible for you to play along with him? To give him what he wants?"
Tom gazed at him with defeated eyes "Maybe. But WHAT am I doing wrong? I don't understand!"
"So, ask him!" Geron replied reasonably
"I can't!" Tom sobbed in despair; " He'll kill me if I question him, if I admit that I know about Simon"
"I'm not suggesting you question his choice and I certainly would prefer you didn't mention Simon!" Geron replied, paling at the thought of Chakotay's anger being directed at HIM. "Just ask him. As long as you are careful what you say, he shouldn't beat you for asking for a clarification of his orders. Greg never objects to me asking him questions as long as he knows that I am only trying to please him more with the knowledge rather than complaining about what he does."
The following evening Chakotay looked up from his desk, where he had been working for hours on overdue crew evaluations, and looked curiously at Tom.
Although the blonde was too disciplined to have moved from position during his long attendance, let alone utter a sound, Chakotay couldn't fail to notice the dejection in Tom's shoulders and the waves of disquiet that seemed to flow from his quiet figure.
He wondered whether Ayala had been right about his advice to him to let Tom and Geron continue to exchange views. Tom had been unusually pensive ever since the young Bajoran had left the night before. Downright sullen, in fact. Sighing he put down his padd and regarded Tom curiously.
"What's the matter, Tom?" he mused aloud.
Tom blinked and looked up at him nervously from beneath his long eyelashes.
Chakotay saw a stream of jumbled thoughts and emotions struggling across the handsome face but Tom was too well trained now to speak without permission.
"Tell me what you are thinking, Tom" Chakotay demanded
Tom flushed with fear and licked his lips furiously whilst he looked for evidence of anger on Chakotay's face. Relieved to only see curiosity, he cleared his throat, which was dry with disuse, and struggled to frame a coherent reply.
"M... M... May I ask a question, Sir?" he whispered humbly, ducking his head, his hands trembling slightly on top of his knees. Chakotay noticed with interest that Tom's genitals had shriveled with fear as though they wanted to burrow for safety inside Tom's body. This would be interesting, he thought.
"Ask away" he replied, magnanimously
" I... I... was wondering...um... wondering, why you haven't, um, well, why you have never ... never...." Tom's voice trailed off
"Why I haven't ever what?" Chakotay snapped impatiently
Tom swallowed nervously and then took the plunge
"F... F... fucked me, Sir!" he whispered
Chakotay cocked an eyebrow in surprise. Perhaps Ayala had been right, he admitted to himself. He was certainly pleased with the way this conversation was going, although he gave no indication of this to the trembling blonde.
"Are you questioning my behavior?" he grated dangerously and was gratified by Tom's flinch of terror.
"No, Sir. No, Never, No, I mean I just don't understand. It's been weeks and every day I h...h...have to get p... p... prepared for you but you never..."
Tom hesitated, trying to find the words to express his feelings. Chakotay frowned with obvious impatience and Tom rushed to continue. His words stumbled over each other in his haste to explain:
"You never want me that way! Geron said it is my fault that you paddle me instead of fucking me. I don't know what I'm doing wrong! I don't want you to beat me anymore. I'd do anything to stop the pain. But I have to know what I am doing wrong! I need to know what I need to do to please you, Sir!" Tom pleaded.
"You need to ask me, Tom!" Chakotay replied "Understand this, Tom! Being fucked by me is a privilege you will have to BEG me for."
"So did you?" Geron asked breathlessly as they sat together during the next Maquis poker session although the state of Tom's ass suggested the negative.
"No fucking way!" Tom replied with a vehement glare at the Bajoran. "I might be unable to stop him doing anything he wants to me, but no way am I going to let him screw with my head until I think I want him to treat me this way!"
"It would be better for you if you did, Tom. SIMON would have begged him! You can't imagine what our life was like then. We were war orphans in the Cardassian camps. We had no family to protect us. No friends except each other. We were just pieces of meat to be flung around for any one who wanted a piece. For Simon the idea of belonging to Chakotay was the closest thing he could imagine to heaven. I felt the same about Greg. No one valued me before him. I had no self-respect!"
"And you have it now?" Tom laughed sarcastically, "as a living sex-toy for a sadistic pervert?"
"It's not like that, Tom. Sex is only a part of it and Greg sometimes hits me but it's just slaps, you know, just disciple because I've disobeyed him. Greg looks after me. He would kill anyone else who so much as touched me without his permission!" Geron replied with pride. "He says his need to control me only proves how much he loves me. Proves that he thinks my value is so high that he can't allow me to leave him! I never experienced that kind of passion before. I never believed that a lover could want me so much that he had to own me body and soul!"
"You're not his lover, you're his whore, his property." Tom snarled
"No, Tom, you don't understand! Greg only forced me at first because I didn't have the sense to realise what a gift he offered me! And when I finally understood, I accepted with gratitude. We don't fight anymore. Our roles are defined. We both know what we each expect of each other. I have chosen to accept this lifestyle, it's who I am, who I want to be. I can't imagine being anything except Greg's property. I only do what he tells me so I can't ever be wrong. If I cock-up, it's his fault not mine. I'm not responsible for anything anymore, and Greg says my life started the day I accepted his ownership of me. My past is gone. My guilt has gone. I'm happy. I'm free in a way that you can't understand!"
Tom swayed with the realisation that what Geron described was what he wanted. To be at peace. To be able to leave his past behind forever. To stop feeling responsible for all of his decisions. To have someone to guide him and prevent him from lurching from one horrendous mistake to the next. But the price was too high! This perverted debasement was the last thing he would ever choose. It sickened him that he even considered Geron's opinion might have value.
"You're fucking, sick!" Tom spat in outrage "You're mad. You call THIS freedom? Look at us kneeling here naked, expected to wait patiently whilst they play cards and get drunk. At their beck and call for whatever sick fantasy they come up with next. Beaten for even speaking or moving without permission. I can't even shit without asking if that's okay. Do you know how many times I've wet myself on this floor and then sat for hours in my own filth because the bastard wouldn't let me go to the bathroom in time and then he's hit me for making a mess? I would give anything to get out of this prison, to get away from Chakotay!"
Geron looked at him with a curious sympathy before shaking his head in denial.
"I don't believe you, Tom. I can see it in you. You're just like me underneath. I know that Chakotay is different from Greg, that there are other issues here. But still... You need to belong to someone stronger than you, who can keep you under control. I felt like you once, when Greg first claimed me. I fought him all the way. But when it came to it. When he gave me the chance to leave, I didn't want to. And neither will you."
"He's brainwashed you, you stupid bastard. He's made you believe it. He's taught you to believe this is what you want!"
"Maybe so," Geron acknowledged " but what's the difference since I do believe it? I'm happy, Tom, for the first time in my life. Isn't that all that counts?"
And Tom had no answer for that.
It was very late when the drunken Maquis reeled out of Chakotay's quarters. Ayala and Geron were last to go. Ayala had talked at length with Chakotay after Dalby and Smitty had gone. Tom had noticed with trepidation that the subject of the conversation was obviously HIM, judging by the numerous thoughtful glances cast in his direction by Chakotay.
At last Ayala summoned Geron and left. As the doors closed them, Tom automatically crawled forwards submissively until he was between the Commander's knees. Chakotay undid the belt of his robe and it fell open to reveal his proudly rearing cock. As Tom opened his mouth and bent his slender neck to swallow the head, he was stilled by a touch on his forehead.
"Slowly, Tom! I want you to take your time tonight. I want you to make this last. Don't disappoint me!" he warned quietly.
So with tiny, fairy licks Tom worshipped Chakotay. Kissing and sucking. Nibbling softly on the taut skin. Chewing softly on the swollen balls until his neck ached with strain. Whenever the Commander felt his oversensitized nerves responding too enthusiastically he would stop Tom with a firm hand and wait until the sensations faded before allowing him to continue. In this fashion they continued for almost an hour. Tom was overwhelmed with the musky scent and taste of the Commander.
By now he was programmed like Pavlov's dog to expect his own release after sucking Chakotay off. His bruised ass muscles clenched in desperate spasms around the butt plug and he writhed helplessly at Chakotay's feet, panting with frustration. He looked up pleadingly for permission to bring the act to conclusion.
Sighing with the acknowledgement of his own desire, Chakotay nodded permission, gasping as Tom swallowed his cock. By now it was so sensitive that Chakotay's balls immediately drew up and he exploded into Toms' mouth, roaring as the blonde drank him dry. By the time he had swallowed the last of Chakotay's semen Tom was sobbing and rocking with his own need. He looked beseechingly into the Indian's brown eyes.
"Fetch the paddle then, Tom" Chakotay sighed in irritation. He couldn't really be bothered tonight but didn't want to undo his careful conditioning by being inconsistent.
Tom stood up slowly and hampered by his erection he hobbled towards the bedroom to collect the instrument of his release. He couldn't bear to be left unfulfilled but even the thought of receiving another beating on his battered ass made him want to vomit. He hesitated at the door, and then completely surprised himself with a momentous decision. He looked back questioningly, his cock stirring hungrily at the magnificent sight of the satiated Indian. He flushed as Chakotay noticed his vacillation.
"Do you have something you want to ask me instead, Tom?" Chakotay purred with sudden interest
Tom blushed furiously as he nodded
"What do you want, Tom?"
"I want you to please fuck me instead, Sir" Tom whispered in defeat.
Triumph welled behind Chakotay's mask of indifference. "I can't hear you, Tom! You'll have to speak up!"
"Please fuck me, Sir" Tom repeated louder, "Please fuck me!" and swallowing all pretence of pride, he said the words that he knew Chakotay was waiting to hear.
The words he had sworn never to utter. Simon's words
"I am begging you to fuck me, Sir!" He looked up at the Commander, flinching in anticipation of Chakotay's gloating expression only to be stunned instead by a look of complete distaste.
"I don't know... I don't think I want to. You don't deserve to be fucked, Tom!" Chakotay replied, looking away in a pretense of boredom.
"Please, Sir," Tom sobbed in desperate panic. Having finally given in, he was horrified by the thought that Chakotay might deny him. It had never occurred to him that Chakotay might refuse.
"I know I don't deserve it. I don't even know why I want it!" he wailed "I just know I can't wait any longer. I need you to do it. I need you to take me."
Chakotay appeared to consider Tom's request, then shook his head slowly
"I don't think so." He stated flatly.
Tom was crying and shaking now, his pale body coloured fiercely with the humiliation of this ultimate rejection.
"You once said I was a just a hole for you to jerk off in. I don't care if you think of it as jerking off in me, just fuck me, PLEASE!" Tom begged
Chakotay's limp cock sprang back to life at the shameless words. Tom's wild eyes widened at the sight, relief at Chakotay's reaction made him stagger drunkenly with unholy anticipation.
"Are you finally ready to admit that this is what you have wanted all along, then? That you are burning with desire for my touch?"
"Yes, Sir" Tom sobbed "I'll go mad if you don't take me, Sir. I'm yours!"
As though released from invisible shackles, Chakotay leapt forwards and grabbed the trembling young man by the shoulders. Fiercely he pulled Tom's mouth to his own for the very first time and he thrust his hot tongue between lips slack with desire. As he plundered the soft inviting mouth, tasting the salty residue of his own cum, he reached down and roughly ripped the butt plug out of Tom, causing the younger man to moan and shudder desperately in his arms.
Slowly, without releasing Tom's mouth, he shoved him backward into the bedroom. Sucking furiously at Tom's tongue, biting sharply on his lips, Chakotay pushed him down onto the bed. Tom flailed gracelessly as he hit the bed with a painful thump. Chakotay grabbed Tom's legs by the ankles and hauled him to the very edge of the bed before thrusting the pale legs over his shoulders until Tom's ass was suspended in the air, level to Chakotay's groin.
Tom's eyes were scrunched tightly closed. His arms were sprawled at his sides and his fingers clutched spasmodically at the bedclothes. Chakotay gazed at the puckered opening to Tom's anus, which glistened darkly with the lubrication from the butt plug. He touched it experimentally with his fingers and saw the muscles relax automatically as Tom opened like an unfurling flower. He gazed with lust into the private depths of Tom Paris.
At the touch of Chakotay's fingers, Tom began to squirm with need. His chest was heaving and his cock bobbed wildly towards his chest, weeping with pre-cum.
"Open your eyes, Tom. I want you to watch me as I fuck you" Chakotay ordered and with visible effort Tom complied, shuddering in fear at the sight of Chakotay's huge cock poised before his vulnerable entrance even as found himself pushing his weight back into his shoulders to allow the invader easier access.
For a moment Chakotay paused, plagued with doubt, lost in a flashback to a drunken night so many years before. Then lust took over. He reached into one of his pockets and retrieved a tube of lubrication that had been gathering dust for weeks in promise of this night. He slavered a generous dollop along his swollen length until it shone silver in the dim light.
Slowly Chakotay guided his penis to the shining hole until the bulbous head was sat in position. Then, firmly grabbing Tom by the hips to hold him in place, he jerked forwards in one merciless thrust until his balls slapped against Tom's.
He waited a moment, until Tom's sudden scream of unbelievable pain faded back into frantic moans of desire and only then did he begin to slowly rock back and forth. As his cock slipped in and out of the hot, tight passage he began to moan in time with Tom. He adjusted his angle and speeded up, his strokes faster and faster until Tom wailed in abandonment.
Chakotay thrust harder and harder until even with the lubrication and Tom's weeks of careful preparation, he was tearing small rips in the skin of Tom's anus. With each stroke he nearly came out before driving back in to the hilt so violently that his balls hit Tom's bruised butt with a resounding slap. Tom was screaming with agonised pleasure. His eyes closed tightly again in his reddened face as he came with a howl, splattering himself with pearly streams of cum.
Chakotay swiftly dropped Tom's legs from his shoulders and pulled out before the clenching of Tom's ass muscles could milk his own cock. He watched whilst Tom jerked and shuddered with the intensity of his orgasm and then he stepped forwards again and expertly flipped Tom over onto his face.
Folding the limp body into a kneeling position, he thrust Tom's shoulders down until he was bent almost double, his face into the bedcovers, his bleeding ass quivering expectantly in the air.
Chakotay stepped behind him and grabbed Tom's hips again for control as he ground his still firm erection back into the inviting hole. This time he took his time. He thrust slowly, reaming Tom's butt, twisting his body slightly with each entry to hit Tom's prostate from different angles. Tom braced his hands on the bed and pushed back against Chakotay, incoherent with ecstasy.
"Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh, Oh!" he moaned with each thrust. His whole body was on fire with sensation. At some level he was aware of the burning pain inside him, of the certainty that Chakotay was ripping him a new asshole, but the overwhelming sensation was an erotic pleasure that was so intense he thought he might die from it.
Chakotay reached forwards and grasped Tom's cock, feeling it spring back to life at his touch. He began to knead it viciously in time to the movements of his own body and Tom began to buck desperately under him with each firm squeeze.
Chakotay rode him with merciless skill. He slid his hand down to Tom's balls and gave them a cruel twist and Tom screamed and came again in an arching torrent.
Chakotay shuddered with pleasure as Tom's muscles clenched down on his cock and he pumped furiously. Tom slid down into a boneless heap on the bed and Chakotay collapsed heavily on top of him as he came with a triumphant roar.
"SIMON" he screamed and passed out.