TITLE: Fallen
AUTHOR: ReAnne Moreau
SERIES: Voyager
RATING: PG-13 (for a little making out)
SUMMARY: This is a sequel to "Falling in Love".  Kathryn and Tom try to work
things out after their night stranded together on the planet, then Tom finds
out his old girlfriend might have a new suitor.

Warning - there will be even more sequels.  I want to show how the rest of the
crew reacts to this couple and what some of them are getting up to while our
heroes are busy.  I'm not sure why, but Kathryn is turning out to be a little
more 'damaged' than usual in this series.  Maybe it's the influence of the
'void' episode.

Star Trek Voyager and all the characters are the property of Paramount.  No
copyright infringement is intended.  Please feel free to archive this anywhere,
including Jupiter Station and the BLTS.
//My fallen angel.  He certainly fit that description this morning.  The joy on
his face when I kissed him was pure innocence.  Then he nearly ravished me in
the pine needles.  'Good morning, Captain,' my foot.  I ought to...  Another
minute and I would have given myself to him. If Carver, Ayala and Chel hadn't
called to us from the top of the ridge...

I wonder if he knows I'm his for the taking.  That I knew months ago that I
loved him.  That watching him with B'Elanna nearly tore my heart out.  I knew
they would hurt each other.  It was almost unbearable watching her shut him out
at every turn.  I've never met anyone as desperately in need of warmth and
intimacy as Tom Paris.  I can give that to him if I can stop shaking in my
boots. That he might actually return my feelings never really occurred to me -
and it scares me silly.

Mark was someone to come home to.  Safe, comfortable.  Tom will be by my side,
sharing this voyage with me, challenging me, showing me perspectives I never
even imagined.  I could get lost in him and I don't like being out of control.
And he could hurt me more deeply than anyone ever has. Strange, in a way being
with Tom scares me, but I have never felt as safe as I did curled up in his
arms last night.  Everything about the man is a contradiction.

It's funny; I was content to be alone for so long.  Then when I was finally
ready to be with someone, there was no question who I wanted.  Oh, I was
attracted to Chakotay, even thought about giving in to him a couple times.
Thank goodness I had more sense than that.  Has the man ever had a lover in the
Delta Quadrant who wasn't involved in some diabolical plot?  If he wants me it
has to be a bad idea; he has terrible taste in women.  Thank goodness I had
sense enough to fall in love with Tom Paris.  Now, do I have the guts to do
something about it?//

Kathryn's disjointed musings were interrupted by the door buzzer.  She
distractedly called for the visitor to enter.

Tom let his eyes adjust to the low light.  The room was illuminated mostly by
starlight flooding in through the big slanting windows.  She was silhouetted
against the riot of stars, arms crossed, drawn
in on herself.  As he moved closer he saw that she was wearing a peach satin
robe, hair tied loosely with a matching ribbon.

"Kathryn, we need to talk about what happened."

"I know."  She turned back to face the window, arms still folded protectively
around herself.  It had been so easy this morning, so natural to touch him,
hold him.  Now her mind was flooded with all the reasons why it shouldn't
happen.  She had managed to avoid him all day, giving herself time to think.  It
hadn't helped.  Neither had a long soak in the tub.

Tom's hands were on her shoulders.  His voice was low and intense.  "Please
tell me that what happened this morning meant something to you.  We both know
what would've happened if we hadn't been interrupted.  I need to know that you
*felt* something for me."

Kathryn heard the quiet desperation in his voice.  She turned from their
ghostly reflection in the window to look up at him.  That beautiful face was
completely unguarded, fear chasing a dying flicker of hope behind sapphire eyes.
She couldn't help reaching out to caress his cheek.

Tom was startled to see a glimmer of tears in Kathryn's eyes.  He'd never seen
her cry before. Taking her hand, he pressed a kiss into the palm.  Her skin was
still moist and warm from the bath. She smelled like lilacs.  "Tell me what's

She sighed, leaning her forehead on his shoulder, feeling warm arms wrapped
around her body and slipping her own around Tom.  "I don't know if I can do
this again."

"Do what, Kat?"

She answered him indirectly.  "Justin was the first man I ever loved.  We were
going to conquer the universe together."  There was laughter and sorrow in her
voice.  "Then I watched him die.  I let myself fall in love again, with Mark,
and without any warning, he was gone.  If I allow myself to care for you..."

"What are we supposed to do, Kathryn?  Spend the next 40 years alone,
pretending that we don't mean anything to each other?"  He sounded bitter.

"No."  She stepped away slightly and gazed at him with haunted eyes.  "I can't
stand to be alone any more.  Or to be without you."

Tom swept her up in his arms, holding her so tightly she could barely breathe.
Kathryn melted into him.  It felt so good for once to lean on someone else's
strength, to be held when she was afraid.  She blindly sought Tom's lips,
savoring their silky warmth.  She brushed them lightly with sweet, tender
kisses.  Tom's hands molded her body to his as their kiss deepened, tongues
flickering and dancing together playfully.  Kathryn reveled in the heat that
radiated through her body.

Tenderly, Tom kissed his way along her jawline.  Her skin tasted as sweet as
he'd imagined.  He whispered in her ear.  "I promise I'll never go so far away
I can't come back to you."

Kathryn sighed and moved even closer, if that was possible.  There was no way
he could control whatever the universe might have in store for them, but that
he wanted to make that promise meant everything.  It took a few moments for her
to realize that she was standing there grinning like an idiot.

"I intend to hold you to that, Lieutenant.  In fact, I intend to hold you at
every opportunity."  She took his hand and led him to the couch, not protesting
at all when he pulled her into his lap.

Despite the smile on his face, she could see that Paris was still looking at
her a little anxiously, as if he wasn't entirely sure she wouldn't change her
mind again.  She leaned her forehead against his, the comfort of his presence
already dispelling her fears.  "I'm sorry, Tom.  Even captains have
insecurities; suddenly getting everything you want can be a little
intimidating.  I didn't mean to hurt you."

"It's alright."  He leaned in for a kiss.  "I know a thing or two about being
scared.  And about thinking you don't deserve to be happy."  Tom wondered if
her anxiety had something to do with the guilt she'd expressed when they had
been stuck in the void.

He cupped her face with his hand, positively glowing when she nuzzled the palm,
making a thorough job of kissing each finger.  She so obviously loved to touch
and be touched.  His other hand freed the glossy auburn hair from its ribbon,
combing slowly through the strands.  They lost track of time learning the
touch, taste and scent of each other.  Lips and hands gently mapped the
new territory to the accompaniment of sighs and soft moans.

They drew back slightly when the heat threatened to overwhelm them.  Tom was
stretched out on the couch, Kathryn draped languidly over his torso.  She had
somehow lost the peach satin robe. Fortunately for his sanity, there was a
nightgown underneath.  His shirt was unbuttoned most of the way down and he
could still feel the heat of her hands on his skin.  He took a deep breath and
laughed shakily.

"Damn, how am I supposed to keep my hands off of you on the bridge?"  Kathryn
favored him with a smug half smile.  Before she could say anything, Tom put his
hand over her mouth.  "And don't do that."  He removed the hand to kiss each
corner of her mouth.  "Do you know how hard it is not to kiss that funny,
lopsided smile off your face?"

Kathryn propped herself up on one elbow and pushed back the hair that was
flying wildly around her face.  Her eyes were dancing with mischief.  "I could
always call you into the ready room for a 'conference' every now and then.  The
couch is very comfortable."

"And the rug looks awfully soft."

"Nice big desk."

"Captain, you have a delightfully dirty imagination."

"You inspire me."  She quickly found herself entangled with a very inspired
pilot, drowning in the heat of his body covering her, the increasingly hungry
open-mouthed kisses.

With groan, Tom pulled himself away and sat at the end of the couch breathing
deeply.  "If we don't stop this now..."

Kathryn nodded, not sure if her voice would work.  She was shaken by the
intensity of her response to his touch.  She wanted him - on the couch, the
floor, her bed, every room on the ship.  But making love to Tom meant making a
commitment to him, and neither of them was ready for that yet.

Tom, his shirt rebuttoned, had crossed to the replicator and was ordering a
bottle of wine.  Kathryn slipped back into her robe and got her hair more or
less under control.  Maybe wearing it long again had been a bad idea.  She had
the feeling Tom was going to develop a habit of mussing it up. Curling up at
one end of the couch, she accepted the proffered glass of wine.  Paris sat on
the floor beneath her perch.

They sat in companionable silence for a while, Kathryn's fingers gently
stroking his dark blond hair.

"I knew your hair would be soft."

"What there is of it."  He flashed her a wry grin and leaned his head against
her leg, thoroughly enjoying the petting.

"You'd be beautiful bald."  She outlined the dips in his hairline with one
finger.  "You'd be beautiful no matter what you looked like."

Tom's smile could have lit up a black hole.  He captured her hand and laced
their fingers together. "If someone had told me four years ago that one day I
would be sitting in the Delta Quadrant while my beautiful captain spouted
sentimental nonsense at me, I would never have believed it."

It still seemed too good to be true.  A shadow crossed his face.  "You're sure
about this, Kat?"

The uncertainty in his voice nearly broke her heart.  It was a good thing they
hadn't made love. There were still too many things to work through.  She pulled
him up to sit beside her, never letting go of his hand.  "I've been sure about
my feelings for you for a long time."

She had one of the most expressive faces he had ever seen, and when she wasn't
being the captain it showed everything she felt.  The sincerity in those lovely
gray eyes convinced Tom.  "How long have you known?"

Kathryn looked rather embarrassed.  Admitting she'd been mooning over her helm
officer for the last several months wasn't the easiest thing to do.  She
snuggled into the crook of Tom's arm, looking up at him through lowered lashes.
"I'm not sure exactly.  I can't really remember a time when I didn't feel
something for you.  When those feelings became more than friendship and
gratitude, I'm not sure."

Tom gave her a surprised look and Kathryn raised his hand to her lips for a
kiss.  "How could I not be grateful?  My ship, my life, everything I have would
have been lost if not for you."  She laughed. "Although you do play havoc with
my sanity sometimes.  But no matter what differences we had about my command
decisions, I always knew you would be there if I needed your friendship."

She paused and cleared the lump from her throat, kicking herself mentally for
giving in to sentiment. "I think I'd been hiding it from myself for quite a
while.  When I got the letter from Mark and realized it was time to move on, I
couldn't hide any more.  But by then you were with B'Elanna." The last words
were spoken in a hushed, strained voice.

Tom clasped her tightly to his chest.  "Why didn't you say anything after we
broke up?"

"I couldn't.  You know what I think of a commanding officer who makes advances
to a crew member.  Besides, I never imagined you could be interested in me."
There was that lopsided smile again.  "Why settle for a scrawny, grumpy captain
when you could have the pick of the crew?"

Still holding on tightly, Tom pulled her across his lap and kissed her soundly
to be sure he had her attention.  "If I didn't like grumpy women, I wouldn't
keep falling for them.  And as for scrawny..." Another kiss, longer, sensual,
hungry.  "I think you'd better take another look in the mirror."

Kathryn shook her head in bemusement and nuzzled his ear before whispering into

"Your turn."


"I spilled my guts.  Now I want to know when you realized you wanted me.  You
don't pounce on your commanding officer because of one kiss."

"I didn't pounce.  I..." She was giving him that *look.* The one that froze
grown Borg in their tracks.  "Oh, all right.  If you must know, I figured it
out with a little help from B'Elanna."  He had the satisfaction of seeing
Kathryn Janeway rendered totally speechless.

After a moment she shut her eyes in resignation and slumped against his
shoulder.  "You'd better explain that one."

Tom smirked.  Teasing Kathryn had always been one of his favorite hobbies.
"One of our last fights was over some silly argument I'd had with the Doc.  I
didn't see any reason to tell her about it and talking with you helped resolve
the thing in my own mind.  She pointed out that whenever I needed to talk about
something, if I had a problem or some crazy new scheme, I came to you.  I only
came to her when I wanted to ... um..."  Tom stopped, his face and ears closely
approximating the color of his uniform.

Kathryn bit her cheek to keep from bursting into laughter.  She could hear the
conversation in her head.  Of course it wouldn't have occurred to B'Elanna that
her own complete inability to communicate was a problem.

Tom cleared his throat and continued.  "That fight kind of stuck in my head.
After I got over being miserable about our break-up, I started thinking about
how important you'd become to me."  He just held her quietly for a moment.
"You'd been taking over my heart a little bit at a time until the whole thing
belonged to you.  The more time we spent together the more I wanted.  But I was
afraid that if I told you how I felt, you would be uncomfortable and start
avoiding me."

They were both silent for a while, realizing how close they had come to never
finding each other. The room seemed to have grown colder with that realization,
and Kathryn sought the reassuring warmth of Tom's lips.  Finally, she sighed
contentedly and laid her head on his shoulder.

"You know this won't be easy.  There will be times when I have to send you into
danger.  I may even have to reprimand you occasionally.  And I can't promise
not to have another attack of nerves; I'm a little out of practice at this
relationship thing."

"I know.  We'll find a way to handle it."  He tilted her chin up and gazed into
her eyes with calm confidence.

Kathryn smiled mischievously.  "You know you'll be in for a lot of teasing.
You're already considered the captain's pet."

"Yeah, but now I get to pet the captain."

Harry Kim answered the door in his pajamas, looking tired and a little grouchy.
 He'd been reading and was just about to turn in for the night.  The man who
sailed into his quarters was disgustingly wide awake.

"Harry, my friend, you are looking at the happiest man in the galaxy."  Tom
plopped into a chair and sat there beaming.

Ensign Kim sighed resignedly.  There was no shutting his friend up when he was
in one of these moods.  He'd been like this when they had been working on the
Delta Flyer, full of tireless energy and enthusiasm at all hours of the night.
Harry surrendered to the inevitable.  "What is it this time, and how much
trouble will it get you in?"  There was a laugh hidden under the growl.

Tom seemed not to have heard.  "She kissed me, Harry.  Kathryn kissed me."

Aha!  A girl.  It was about time.  Harry had begun to worry that Tom had been
seriously damaged by his failed affair with B'Elanna.  He began running through
the names of all the females on the ship.  There was a Kit in Security, but the
only Kathryn he knew of was... His eyes widened in disbelief.  "The *captain*?
Tom, have you been drinking?"

He listened, shocked, as Paris told him what happened down on the planet,
leaving out the serious groping session that had followed their first kiss.
When he had summarized this evening's conversation with Kathryn, Tom sat back
and looked at him expectantly.

Only one response came to Harry's mind.  "Chakotay's going to kill you."

Tom snorted.  "Oh, come on, Harry.  She's been ignoring him for four years; I
think he's got the message by now."  He turned suddenly serious.  "I don't want
to hurt Chakotay.  As hard as it is to admit, I actually like the guy.  But
Kathryn and I have a chance at something really good.  I won't throw that

"So why are you here telling me about it?  I would have thought you'd still be
with the captain."  Just saying it out loud sounded weird.

Lt. Paris had suddenly found something very interesting about the toe of his
left shoe.  "Things were getting a little ... um ... intense and she kicked me
out before we got into too much trouble."  He looked aggrieved.  "That woman's
lips ought to be registered as deadly weapons."

Harry couldn't help laughing.  This was a side of Tom he hadn't seen before -
swept off his feet and enjoying every minute of it.  "You won't get any
sympathy out of me.  You never even told me you were interested in her."

"There didn't seem to be any point - I mean, the captain and the convict?  It's
still hard to believe. I've never felt like this about anyone.  I'll tell you
one thing, Harry, I'm going to get it right this time. B'Elanna and I jumped
into bed before we even knew how we felt about each other.  Kathryn and I are
going to take our time and make sure we've got something going for us besides

"Are you sure the captain is going to go along with that?"  Harry really
couldn't bring himself to call her Kathryn.  "From what you've said, it sounds
like she knows exactly how she feels about you."

A sad smile lurked at the corners of Tom's lips.  "Oh, I know she cares about
me.  But she's still a little skittish.  Kathryn's been hurt a lot, Harry.  And
I think she feels a little guilty about being happy when so many of the crew
are still mourning the people they left behind.  It might take a little while
before she convinces herself that it's alright to be in love with me."

Harry was amazed.  He'd never heard Tom talk about any of his lovers with such
depth of feeling, not even B'Elanna.  He looked up at Paris.  "Tom, how do
think B'Elanna is going to take this?  I mean, she and the captain are pretty
good friends.  Things could get a little awkward."

"You're telling me.  If they start comparing notes I'm in big trouble."  He was
back to his usual smart-ass self.  He was too happy tonight to be serious for
very long.  A huge grin lit up his face. "Hey, what if we get B'Elanna and
Chakotay together?  I know she had a thing for him in the Maquis and it might
keep Chakotay from sticking my head out an airlock."

His suggestion was met with very little enthusiasm.  Harry shrugged and looked
everywhere but at Tom.  "I don't know if that's such a good idea.  B'Elanna
probably wouldn't react very well to being set up with somebody."

Tom's instincts were instantly on the alert.  "Or maybe you're the one who
wouldn't like it.  You have been spending an awful lot of time with her lately.
 Have you changed your mind about 7?"

Ensign Kim slumped in his chair and closed his eyes.  "I don't know any more.
I still have feelings for 7, but she barely notices I exist."  He blushed.
"You know I've had a crush on B'Elanna since the first time she growled at me."

"Yeah, but you never *did* anything about it.  If I thought you were seriously
interested in her I never would have put the moves on her myself.  Are you
finally ready to do something about it?"

Harry groaned in frustration.  "I don't *know* - and I'm not going to figure it
out tonight."  He glared balefully at his friend and dragged him in the
direction of the door.  "I was having a perfectly good evening until you came
along and started talking about making out with the captain.  Which, by the
way, I still think is weird."

Tom clapped him on the shoulder on the way out.  "Like the lady said, Harry,
weird is part of the job."