Title: Things Change 9
Author: Maxine
Pairing C/P
Rating R
Disclaimer: Paramount owns them, I just wanted to have a little fun.
Feedback: Why not? I can take it plainedge77@yahoo.com
Warning: Major character death in this part. 


Things Change 9

Once Tom was finished unpacking he joined Chakotay and the 
rest in the living room. Chakotay moved to make room for him to sit 
next to him, when he did Chakotay immediately put his arm around him 
and pulled him into his embrace. Tom let out a soft sigh, he liked 
being in Chakotay's arms. He looked at the others in the room and saw 
that they were okay with the scene before them, he relaxed even more.

"All done?" Chakotay asked placing a kiss on the side of 
Tom's forehead.

"Hmm, yeah for now." Tom closed his eyes briefly just 
enjoying the feel of the man sitting next to him.

"Tom did you think Harry finally got the message?" Ken asked.

"I don't know Ken but to be perfectly honest I don't really 
care. Whatever his problem is, it's his not mine." Tom sighed and 
snuggled in closer to Chakotay, he didn't want to think about Harry 
anymore tonight.

"I can understand that. It's just too bad he turned out to be 
such a prick. I would have like to get to know him better, not now 
though." Ken seemed a bit too resigned for Tom.

"Ken are you or were you interested in Harry?" Tom was really 
curious about this turn of events.

"Well let's just say that until Chak had his heart attack and 
Harry started acting like an asshole, I was contemplating the idea of 
asking you if you thought Harry would be interested in me." Ken 
really hated having to admit that, he couldn't bring himself to look 
at anyone for a moment.

"Wow! Now that is a surprise." Tom just couldn't believe it.

"Well it doesn't matter now, even if I hadn't threaten to 
kick the crap out of him, I don't think I would comfortable with him 
knowing how he feels about certain things."

"Yeah well the kicking the crap out of him idea could put a 
damper on things. But don't discount Harry completely Ken. He is 
really just angry with me, he isn't angry with any of you." Tom could 
not believe he was defending Harry after everything that happened, 
but if he could help his former friend find happiness elsewhere he 

"No Tom you don't get it. Just think about this for a minute. 
Harry got pissed at you because you wanted to make friends with 
people besides him. Can you honestly say that he would not have a 
problem with anyone he was involved with and them having friends? 
Other people to do things with besides him? I mean come on, I 
couldn't see myself giving up any one of my friends just to be with 
someone. No matter what I felt for them." Ken was frustrated he had 
been angry for weeks. Angry with himself for being fool enough to be 
interested in someone like Harry. Angry with Harry for disappointing 

"Ken, if you were interested in Harry why did you threaten 
for hit him? I don't understand." Gerron asked seemingly truly 

"Why? Because I was pissed at him, pissed that he wasn't what 
I had hoped he was, what I thought he was. I always thought he was 
this great guy, I mean he didn't seem to care about Tom's past. 
Knowing that I figured there was a possibility he would see passed my 
screwed up past also. But instead what I ended up seeing was this 
shallow self-centered prick and he said some really shitty things 
about Chakotay."

"He said those things to get me angry Ken, I don't think he 
really meant them."

"Tom how can you defend him? After all the crap he laid on 

"Ken, Harry was my friend when there was no one else. Okay it 
was for a selfish reason in the long run, but that doesn't negate the 
fact that when no one else wanted to have anything to do with me 
Harry did. I can't forget that and I wouldn't." Hearing the serenity 
in Tom's voice Chakotay, who had been silently wishing he could break 
Harry Kim's neck, hugged the younger man.

"Well none of that matters now, I will not set myself up to 
be hurt like Harry hurt you. I have no intention of telling my 
friends sorry but my lover doesn't want me to have anyone but him in 
my life."

"You don't know he will do that Ken. It's different, you have 
friends, people who you have been through hell with. People who have 
been there for you when things were so bad you didn't want to go 
through another day. Harry knows that, he wouldn't ask you to give 
them up." Tom truly believed that.

"Okay, let's just say that he wouldn't have a problem with me 
having other people I want to be with. He isn't going to forget that 
I threatened to space him."

"Well that might be a problem but Ken you might regret not 
finding out." Greg finally had enough of Ken's little pity party. 

"Just find out Ken, the worst that could happen is he will 
deck you. Which by the way no one would blame him for." Greg laughed 
and the rest joined in. 

"Yeah well I will think about it. But now I have to go, I 
have a date with my pillow." Ken stood and shook hands with the four 

"Chakotay, Tom, I am happy for you two I am sure everything 
will work out for you. You are both too damn stubborn for them not 
too. Good Night."

"Thanks Ken, Good Night." Chakotay and Tom said together.

"Damn talk about your revelations! I had no idea Ken was 
interested in Harry." Greg was still shocked at his friend's 

"Oh, come on Greg, I can't believe you had no idea." Gerron 

"You telling me you did?" Greg pulled him on to his lap and 
gave him a hug.

"Of course I did, all you had to do was watch him. As soon as 
Harry would walk into Sandrine's or the Resort and Ken would sit 
straight up and watch his every move. I really think at one point he 
was jealous of Tom. I could see him sitting there and I would swear I 
saw smoke coming out of his ears. I think he thought Tom and Harry 
were lovers." The young bajorian looked at the three older men and 

"What, you didn't think I saw things like that?" Gerron 

"Umm no it's not that. I know you are very observant, I just 
didn't realize you were watching Ken." Greg recovered first.

"I wasn't watching him really but it was hard to miss, when I 
first noticed it I started paying closer attention." Gerron state 

"I am surprised that Ken would admit to something like that 
if he felt it was hopeless." Chakotay said.

"No he doesn't think it is hopeless. He admitted it because 
he wanted us to talk him out of thinking it was." There was no doubt 
in Gerron's mind he was right and you could hear it in his voice.

"When did you get to be so smart?" Greg hugged him and kissed 
his cheek.

"When I fell in love with you." He answered with a kiss of 
his own and a smile.

"Good answer." Greg shifted a bit Gerron never failed to get 
him aroused with the simplest of touches. Deciding that they needed 
to take the matter home, he patted Gerron's leg, his sign to 
say 'it's time to go'. Gerron understood and got up.

"Well it's time for us to go. I am sure you two have better 
things to do than sit around and entertain us all night." Greg stood 
took Gerron's hand and walked to the door.

"Thanks for the help and the show of support Greg and Gerron, 
you don't know how much it means to me." Tom stood and shook both of 
their hands.

"The pleasure was ours Tom you are a good man." Greg shook 
his hand then gave him a friendly slap on the back.

"Thank you Greg for everything." Chakotay hugged his old 

"Hey anytime Chak. You be good to him or I will kick your 
ass." Greg joked as he hugged him back.

"I will I promise." Chakotay smiled and stepped away.

"Good Night Gerron, don't keep him up too late, he's an old 
man." Chakotay winked at the younger man and Gerron blushed.

"Chief! Don't embarrass Gerron like that!" Tom blushed along 
with Gerron.

"Oh he knows I am teasing him." Chakotay laughed wrapping his 
arms around Tom.

Good Night guys, see you soon." Greg said as he walked out 
the door.

 Once they were alone Chakotay kissed Tom and hugged him tighter. Tom 
responded by deepening the kiss slipping his tongue over Chakotay's 
lips, he moaned and allowed it entrance. They stood in the middle of 
the living room holding on to one another and just allowed the 
passion they felt for each other be told through that kiss. Finally 
the need for air became too great to ignore, they ended the kiss 
together as if in silent agreement.

"Tom I think it's time to go to bed." Chakotay panted as he 
looked at Tom, seeing the blue eyes bright with arousal. Tom couldn't 
speak he was so overwhelmed by the feelings that kiss had produced he 
just nodded his agreement. They made their way to the bedroom slowly 
not letting go of each other, kissing and removing clothes that 
suddenly seemed to be in the way.  Once they reached the bedroom 
Chakotay turned so his back was to the bed, he pulled Tom with has he 
fell onto it. 

Tom took at advantage of his position he sat up and straddled 
Chakotay. He ran his hands over the smooth chest slowly, enjoying the 
feel of his skin. He kept his touch light memorizing each inch, as 
his fingers skimmed across one of the taunt nipples Chakotay let out 
a moan. Tom decided to see if he could increase the volume of the 
moan so he lowered his head and licked the nipple and surrounding 
area when he did he was rewarded with strangled cry of pleasure. He 
moved to the other nipple and repeated his actions, Chakotay's 
moaning seemed to be louder now. Tom made his way down his chest, 
placing butterfly kisses randomly as he went. When he reached 
Chakotay's belly button he darted his tongue out and into the 
sensitive area. He was nearly bucked off for that little taste. Again 
his mouth was on the move, kissing and licking Chakotay's skin. Tom 
by passed his erection for a minute and gave a long slow lick to his 
balls causing Chakotay to gasp. He chuckled a bit and then licked his 
way up the shaft ending his travels by dipping his tongue into the 
small opening at the tip to retrieve some of the salty liquid leaking 
out. That caused Chakotay to whimper then scream as Tom took the head 
into his mouth and sucked on it.

"Yes! Tom that feels so good." His hands were in Tom's hair 
now, not holding him there just holding on. 

     Encouraged, Tom took more in sucking and swirling his tongue 
over the head as he did. Tom's hands were not idle either, one 
sliding over Chakotay's skin lightly causing him to shiver while the 
other went between his legs, parting them so he could take hold of 
the sac and gently kneaded his balls around. Chakotay's hips bucked 
trying to push himself deeper into Tom's mouth. Tom pulled back and 
let the throbbing member slip from his mouth. Chakotay groaned at the 
loss of the hot wet mouth around him.

"Tom please!" Chakotay begged the need for release so great 
he couldn't bare it.

"Chak?" Tom knew what he wanted but he was afraid to ask, he 
had never entered a man before, what if he hurt him.

"Please Tom I want you inside me." Chakotay answered the 
unasked question. 

"I have never." He was visibly nervous. 

"It's okay, just do what feels right Tom."  He pulled the 
younger man on top of him and kissed him. "I trust you." He 

     The rest of the evening Chakotay showed him just how much he 
trusted him and Tom found that he could make Chakotay feel as 
gracious as he had made Tom feel.


Next day Tom returned to duty, Chakotay was no longer 
considered "recovering" he had been moved to "convalescing". The 
doctor said he didn't need to have someone with him all the time, 
although he might feel uncomfortable with it. He mentioned that to 
the captain. 

If Tom was apprehensive about leaving Chakotay it was nothing 
compared to what Chakotay was feeling. Kathryn had sensed that 
apprehension and asked Tuvok to work Beta shift, suggesting that he 
spend the free time working with Chakotay on the end of the security 
simulations he and Tom had developed over the past six weeks. 

Chakotay appreciated the company. He and Tuvok had become 
good friends during his medical leave.  Tuvok showed up just as Tom 
was leaving for duty.  The two men shared morning greetings, Tom 
kissed Chakotay good-bye promising he would be home for lunch and 
left. Tuvok watched the exchange, quite pleased that the two men had 
decided they were well suited for each other.

"Come in Tuvok, how are you this morning?" Chakotay offered a 

"I am well thank you. How are you Chakotay?" Tuvok responded 
as he sat.

"I feel a lot better thanks. What brings you here this 

"The Captain thought you and I could spend the morning 
finishing up the security hologram program." 

"That is a good idea, I will also have to remember to thank 
her for being so tactful in saying I might feel uncomfortable being 
alone today." Chakotay smiled and Tuvok acknowledged his assessment 
of the suggestion. 

"She is worried about you, as is the rest of the crew."

"I know, I have a feeling it will be a long time before she 
doesn't worry about me. It's good to have friends like Kathryn and 
you. Thank you again for everything you did for me in the past six 
weeks Tuvok."

"You are quite welcome Chakotay.  Now why don't we get 
started, I am sure you would like to be done by the time Tom comes 
back." Without actually saying it Tuvok gave Chakotay his approval of 
the changed status of the two men. Chakotay nodded and they went to 


Down the hall Harry was in his quarters getting ready for his 
shift. He felt quite pleased with himself. He had come to a decision 
earlier that morning. He knew that he had to make up with Paris but 
in his own way. He had a plan and he would do everything in his power 
to implement that plan as soon as possible. He wasn't going to just 
run to Tom and say he was sorry, Tom would be suspicious of that. 
Besides he wasn't sorry, he had nothing to be sorry for. He would 
just let Tom think he was sorry, let him get comfortable enough to be 
willing to hang out with Harry without the jerks around. Then he 
would be able to do what he knew he had to do. 

"Let's just hope the captain goes for it." He said to 
himself. He was sure she would, everyone could use a break right 
about now. All he had to do was find a planet that was inviting 
enough for shore leave. Confidence emulated from him as he left his 
quarters. It was a good day, the first day of his proving to Tom 
Paris that he did need him as a friend.


On the bridge things were tense for awhile, Harry ignored 
Tom, not wanting to raise any eyebrows he couldn't just suddenly be 
okay with Tom. Tom tried his best to just brush the uneasy feeling he 
had aside. B'Elanna was at the engineering station watching Harry, 
Greg was at Tactical keeping an eye on Tom. No one said much of 
anything for about two hours, when Harry spoke.

"Captain, I have found an M-class plant, senses are showing 
that it is uninhabited and it's rich with dilithium deposit."

"Very good Ensign. How far are we from it?"

"Five light years ma'am" 

"Wonderful, send Lieutenant Paris the coordinates, Tom lay in 
a course."

"Aye, Captain." Both men responded.

    The rest of the morning went somewhat better, everyone was busy 
getting information and arranging for people to be a part the away 
team. Kathryn escaped to her ready room, she had some things to think 
about. Namely if this planet they were heading for was uninhabited 
and safe, shore leave could be an option. She commed Tuvok who was 
still with Chakotay and the three of them discussed the 
possibilities. All agreed that if circumstances allowed they should 
not pass up the opportunity that had presented itself to them. 

    After lunch the senior staff gathered in the ready room to hear 
the outlined course of action they would take. Having received 
confirmation that the planet was in fact uninhabited and there were 
no alien cultures near by that might have a claim on it. It was 
decided that there would be four away teams assigned to collect 
dilithium and search for food sources. Once that was completed shore 
leave would begin. Each member of the crew would be entitled to two 
days. While they were at it they would use the down time to do any 
repairs and maintenance that may be required. 
     Harry sat back and listened to the plan quite pleased with 
himself. Step one was done, on to step two. He would make sure he was 
part of one of the away teams so he could survey planet. He would 
need to know as much as he could about the planet that could only be 
learned on the surface. Once that was done he could move to step 

      After shift in his quarters he went over his plan again very 
carefully. He had to be sure that Tom would be respective to the idea 
of the two of them being alone together for a few hours. Harry was 
confident he would succeed in that, he knew exactly how to get to 
him. Tonight he would begin that part of the plan, he called for a 
location check and from that Tom was in his quarters. Once decided 
Harry changed and went to pay Tom a visit, only there was no answer 
at Tom's door.

   Asking the computer again for a location check and again being 
told that he was in his quarters, Harry let himself in Tom's cabin. 
When the door slid open Harry stepped in and was immediately stunned 
to see that the cabin was empty. Nothing of Tom's was there, the 
place had been cleaned thoroughly. Confused, Harry asked for the 
exact location of Lieutenant Paris, when the computer gave the answer 
Harry was livid. 

    Why in hell was Paris still in the commander's quarters? Why was 
the computer now stating that those quarters were Tom's also? Harry 
knew that the commander had been taken off the recovery list that he 
would be returning to work before they left orbit. Paris didn't need 
to be playing nursemaid anymore, he stomped off swearing under his 
breath convinced more than ever that Paris needed to be taken in hand.


Personal Log: Ensign Harry Kim

"Well that's it, Paris has just proven to me beyond a shadow 
of a doubt that it is time to take him to task. Still playing 
nursemaid to the almighty Commander Chakotay, what in hell was wrong 
with him? Is he waiting until the commander booted him before he 
leaves? Stupid bastard! Well once we get down on the planet and I 
show him that I am the only one he needs he will be grateful I spared 
him that bullshit. Now I just have to make sure that our shore leave 
is scheduled at the same time, preferable among the last of the crew 
to be given shore leave. 

The captain won't waste much time looking for us once shore 
leave is over. I know just how to make it look like we 
both "disappeared" without a trace. Convincing Paris that Voyager 
left without us might present a problem but not much I am sure. I 
have already replicated the necessary items to make sure he isn't too 
confrontational. He will thank me once he realizes that we are 
supposed to be best friends forever and there is no one around to 
fill his head with the stupid notion that he doesn't need me.

Not returning to the Alpha Quadrant is something he would 
prefer anyway. There isn't anything for him there, just a prison 
sentence to finish out and a father who will manipulate him for the 
rest of his life. It's best that we stay here for good. End log."

Feeling somewhat better Harry settled in for the night. He would talk 
to Tom in the morning about patching things up between them.

    In another cabin the computer beeped, alerting the occupant that 
there had been an unacceptable log entry made. Going over to the 
computer to retrieve the source, and the extent of the log, once 
read, the person frowned. This is not good and it will not due. 
Storing the log in a secure file, the computer was switched off and 
the thoughts ran wild, this must be prevented.


Tom and Chakotay were sitting on the couch talking quietly 
when the door chime rang.

"Enter" Chakotay called out. When the door opened it revealed 
Tuvok on the other side.

"Good Evening gentlemen, I was wondering if we could discuss 
your shore leave?"

"Sure Tuvok come in and have a seat. Can I get you anything." 
Tom was the one who answered.

"Thank you, but no I am fine. Chakotay because of your recent 
health problems the captain and I thought that it would be best for 
you to take shore leave first. Knowing that Tom would of course want 
to join you the captain has scheduled helm maintenance for the latter 
part of our stay. I know that is it presumptuous on our part to make 
these decisions for you both, but be reassured that we have both of 
your best interests in mind." 

"Tuvok, I think that would be a great idea and I don't think 
you and Kathryn are being presumptuous. I know Tom could use the 
downtime especially after having taken care of me all this time. 
Thank you." Chakotay was touched by the concern both Kathryn and 
Tuvok continually showed him.

"Yeah, thanks Tuvok and thank the captain for me too. It may 
seem like I have been on vacation all this time but it has not been a 
picnic in my book. Chief here can be one hell of a tough patient." 
Tom laughed as he ducked away from Chakotay who tried to slap his arm.

"Very well gentlemen, I will not take up anymore of your time 
this evening. Plan on taking your shore leave in three days. Good 
Night." Tuvok left after the two men said their good nights.

"Wow chief shore leave and together. What are we going to do 
while we are down there?" Tom snuggled back into Chakotay's arms.

"Oh, I am sure we can think of a few things." He smiled and 
kissed Tom's cheek.

"I wonder if we can do some hiking. I could use a good leg 

"I can think of another way to stretch those legs Slim, and 
it will be less wear and tear on me." He kissed Tom again. 

"And I know for a fact that you will be exhausted when we are done." 
Leaning in further he took Tom's mouth with his own and kissed him 
with everything he had. Just to make sure Tom had no doubt as to what 
he wanted to do once they beamed down. Tom responded with a deep moan 
and wrapped his arms around Chakotay neck.  They spent the rest of 
the evening going over Chakotay's plan, just to make sure they were 
both in agreement.


Harry tried for three days to get Tom to talk to him, of 
course he wouldn't come right out and say anything. Tom needed to be 
the one to approach him. But he was sure Tom saw that he was willing 
to talk. Well just two more days and they could go on shore leave 
together. Harry would figure out a way to do it.

 He was feeling rather cheery this morning as he walked into the mess 
hall. His first sight was Tom and the commander sitting at a table in 
the back talking. His mood slipped slightly, but not enough to cause 
him any worry. He got his breakfast and picked a table close enough 
to watch the two men but not so they would notice. Suddenly his mood 
went black.

"So Chief, you ready to get out of here and start our shore 
leave?" Tom seemed way too excited about this for Harry's liking.

"Of course I am Tom, getting off this ship even for 24 hours 
would be great." Chakotay was smiling way too much at Tom. Harry was 
getting pissed.

Harry didn't notice the other person watching him watch them. He was 
too wrapped up in what was going on at the other table.

"I am really excited about this, I mean going down to a 
planet and not have to worry about any aliens trying to kill us or 
charge us with crimes we didn't commit." Tom laughed remembering far 
too many times things like that happened in the past.

"Tom, now just because there aren't any aliens doesn't mean 
there can't be trouble." Kathryn stepped up to the table smiling.

"Oh captain I promise I won't cause any trouble." He smiled 
back with his best look of innocence. Chakotay and Kathryn laughed, 
Harry had seen enough he decided he wasn't going to wait. Things had 
gotten out of hand, finishing his meal trying to hide his disgust he 
got up and disposed of his tray. Not noticing he was being watched he 
stormed out of the mess hall. 

Tom had noticed Harry's abrupt departure and frowned. 
Chakotay also noticed, he took Tom's hand and gave it a loving 
squeeze. Turning back to his lover Tom smiled and shrugged his 
shoulders as if to say, not my problem.

"Well gentlemen, I just wanted to say I hope you enjoy your 
shore leave. There is something I must attend to." Kathryn got up 
from her place.

"Thanks Kathryn see you in two days." Chakotay smiled and 
nodded to her. 

"See ya later Captain." Tom didn't sound as happy has he had 
just a few minutes before. 

"Everything will be fine Tom, I promise." She whispered to 
him as she bent and gave him a peck on the cheek. Kathryn then walked 

"Come Tom let's go and finish getting ready." Chakotay stood 
still holding Tom's hand. Tom followed suit and they left.


Back in Harry's cabin he was throwing things in a carryall 
while he cursed under his breath. The commander was not going to win, 
Tom would spend his shore leave and the rest of his life with Harry. 
Harry knew that he was condemning himself to a life without love and 
children, but he would have his best friend back and that was what 
was important. 

Once he had everything he needed he checked the computer for 
the time that Tom and the commander had decided to leave. He had to 
be on the surface before them. He had to leave quickly, he had 
discovered they were scheduled to leave in an hour. Double checking 
his bag and satisfied he had everything he needed he headed for the 
door when the door chime rang.

"Enter." Harry couldn't keep the annoyed tone out of his 
voice he didn't have time for whoever was there. The door swished 
open and Ken Dalby was standing there.

"What do you want Dalby? I am in a rush!" 

"Hello to you too, Ensign, I was wondering if you had a 
minute." Ken was nervous he wasn't sure why he had been approached, 
but he had his orders, get Harry Kim to deck 4 Observation Lounge as 
soon as possible.

"No I don't I am late. Get out of my way." Harry tried to 
push passed him.

"Hey give me a break, I just have a message for you okay?" 
Ken was pissed he hated being pushed around. Suddenly glad he decided 
to lose the idea of pursuing this jerk he was just going to do the 
job he was sent to do.

"Whoever you have a message from I am sure I don't want it. 
Now get the hell out of my way!" Harry now too pissed to care he 
could be provoking the man standing in front of him.

"So even if it's from Tom you don't want to hear it?" Ken 
spat out and Harry quickly stopped.

"Why would Paris ask you to give me a message?" Harry was a 
bit curious, maybe he had read the situation wrong earlier.

"The hell if I know, he just asked me to come and ask you to 
meet him in the Observation Lounge on deck 4 in five minutes." 
Message delivered he thought, he didn't really believe the message 
was from Tom. He couldn't put his finger on what bothered him about 
it, but than again he didn't care.

"Fine thank you. Now get out." 

"You know Kim if I didn't like Tom so much I wouldn't have 
delivered the message and I would make damn sure you wouldn't show." 
Ken turned on his heels and left.

Ken gone Harry let out the breath that he had been holding, 
Tom wants to talk to me, good maybe he is ready to admit he needed 
me. Once again he mood changed, he was happy again. Putting his 
carryall down, he figured Tom didn't need to know what he had been 
planning just yet. Hell at this point maybe Tom would be willing to 
go along with it. Feeling better then he had in quite some time he 
left his cabin and made his way to the observation lounge. 

When he got there it was dark he didn't turn the lights on 
maybe Tom didn't want anyone to see them talking. Could be a problem 
Harry didn't want anymore problems. He moved into the lounge and 
looked out the viewport momentarily thinking about just how great 
things were going to be real soon. He didn't see the person hiding in 
the shadows and he never saw the blunt end of the bat'leth coming 
down to strike him in the back of the head. He felt the pain and then 
everything went black.


Tom and Chakotay arrived in the transporter room, both 
noticeably excited and anxious. Chakotay gave the ensign on duty the 
coordinates for their desired destination and then stepped up on the 
pad next to Tom. Nodding their readiness the ensign initiated the 
transporter and they shimmered out of sight. The door of the 
transporter room slid open and the captain dismissed the ensign on 
duty, giving him a fifteen-minute break. As soon as he was gone she 
commed Tuvok and initiated the transporter. A few minutes later Tuvok 
entered the room and gave her the answer she needed without saying a 
word. Kathryn breathed a shy of relief.

"I will meet you in my ready room in ten minutes Tuvok." She 
told him with little emotion.

"Aye, Captain." 

When Kathryn reached the sanctity of her ready room she activated her 
personal log.

"Personal Log Kathryn Janeway. Security code Alpha Zero Four."

Taking a deep breath she began. 

"Today I made the hardest decision in my life, to put the life of one 
person ahead of all others. I could not allow Harry Kim to go through 
with his plan to kidnap Tom Paris. I had to do something and quickly, 
I thought I had two days to try and work something out but Mr. Kim 
forced my hand this morning. I am deeply distressed that I felt I had 
to go as far as I did, but I could not and would not allow Harry to 
destroy all the lives his selfish act would have destroyed." The door 
chime interrupted her. "Computer pause recording."

"Enter." Tuvok entered and she motioned for him to sit.

"Tuvok, have you handled the rest of the problem?"

"Yes captain."

"Very well then, it's done. We will inform the crew of the 
terrible accident at 1200 hours." Her voiced faulted a bit, a wave of 
guilt washed over her. Tuvok saw the emotion come over her. 

"Captain, you did the only thing you could. Lieutenant Paris 
and Commander Chakotay are far too important to this crew for you to 
have stood by and done nothing." Tuvok knew Kathryn needed to be 
reassured that it was for the best, to hoping lessen her guilt.

"Keep telling me that Tuvok and one day I might believe you." 
She knew by deciding to take matters into her own hands she had added 
more of a burden to her already heavy load. But at the same time she 
knew that there was no choice in the matter. Harry Kim had to be gone 
he was too much of a threat to the entire crew. She believed that 
even if she could have stopped him this time he would find a way to 
leave with Tom. 

"Captain, logically ending Mr. Kim's life was for the best. 
He was a menace to himself and the rest of the crew. By removing him 
from the ship you have ended the possible threat of him stealing a 
shuttle at some point and forcing Mr. Paris to go with him. Which 
would cause Commander Chakotay to follow and then we would have to 

"I get the point Tuvok. Thank you for your help. Of course 
this matter will never be discussed again. As far as anyone will ever 
know Harry Kim died in a terrible transporter accident on his way to 
the planet for his shore leave." She hoped that if she repeated that 
lie to herself enough she would able to convince everyone herself 
included that it was the truth.

"Understood Captain." Tuvok stood and went to the door.

"Thank you again Tuvok. Dismissed. See you at 1200 hours."

"Aye Captain." Tuvok left the ready room.

Kathryn sat back down on her couch and reopened her personal log. 
Though she was sure she shouldn't, she detailed the entire turn of 
events, she would delete everything at a later date. She just wanted 
to get it all out so she could put it to rest. Once done she leaned 
back closed her eyes and cried.


At 1200 hours all crewmembers were called to the holodeck, 
even those who had been on the planet. The captain stepped forward 
and called for attention.

"First I want to apologize to the people who were on leave. I 
promise this will be short and if you choose to you may return to the 
planet. If you choose not to, I will allow you to do so at a later 
date." Standing even straighter she looked around the room, her eyes 
fell on Tom, Chakotay behind him with his arms around Tom's waist. 
They looked so happy and content she knew what she was about to say 
would be hardest on Tom but Chakotay would help him through it.

"Now on to the reason I called you all here. At 1100 hours 
Ensign Harry Kim was killed in a transporter accident." There was a 
short gasp, but somehow Kathryn knew it was because Harry lost his 
life. It being reminded at it could happen to anyone.

"While being transported to a spot he had chosen for his 
leave, there was a inexplicable surge in the transporter's matrix. 
When we tried to retrieve Ensign Kim we were unsuccessful. I know he 
will be missed." She didn't really believe that but felt she needed 
to say it anyway.

Everyone just stood for a minute absorbing what she said. A few 
people seemed to be sad from the looks on their faces. Surprisingly 
enough Ken Dalby among them finding Tom again she noticed that his 
eyes were watery. Chakotay tightening his hold on Tom, leaned in and 
whispered something in his ear, Tom shook his head. 

"There will be a memorial service for Ensign Kim tomorrow at 
1200 hours in the shuttle bay. That is all, dismissed." She turned 
from the crowd and wiped her eyes, she hated herself for having to 
lie but she had no choice. The crew slowly dispersed Tom just stood 
there for a minute silently saying good bye to the first friend he 
made on his own. Then he turned into Chakotay's arms and held on 

"You okay Tom?"

"Yeah I am. I'm upset that our last conversation was an 
argument but that is something I will deal with. I am sad for his 
parents and Libby. But me I am fine, I have my best friend right 
here." To bring home the point he hugged Chakotay tighter.

"Let's go back to our quarters and just relax if you want to 
talk I will listen."

"You don't mind us not going back to the surface?"

"Not at all Tom, shore leave can happen another time. Come 

They turned to leave and were met by B'Elanna, Greg and Gerron.

"Tom you okay?" B'Elanna asked as she hugged him.

"Yeah I'm fine." He answered softly.

"Tom  if you need anything just let us know." Greg put his 
hand on Tom's shoulder and gave it a supportive squeeze

"Thanks Greg." 

"Tom and I were just going back to our quarters you are 
welcome to join us." Chakotay offered as he took Tom's hand and 
motioned for them to leave. It was going to be a long 24 hours 
Chakotay knew.


The service was short, most of the crew was there which was a 
surprise to many. After it was all over Tom suggested that everyone 
go to Sandrine's to have one last drink for Harry. If anyone was 
surprised at this suggestion no one said a word. There was music and 
laughter, Tom called it an Irish wake, send the dead off with a party 
not tears. Though it didn't last long everyone seemed to have a good 
time talking about Harry no harsh words were spoken though. Tom 
noticed Ken standing at the bar by himself, he went over and stood 
next to him.

"Hey Ken."

"Hey Tom."

"You doing okay?"

"Yeah fine, how about you?"

"Oh I will be okay. I know I am going to miss, Harry, but the 
old Harry not the one who had been around lately." Tom gave Ken a 
small smile.

"I know what you mean, my last conversation with him wasn't 
the best. I can't believe that other then you I may have been the 
last one to talk to him."

"Yeah well we both said some pretty harsh things to him in 
the corridor that night."

"No I mean yesterday morning." Forgetting for a minute his 
feeling that the message had not come from Tom.

"Ken I haven't spoken to Harry since that night I moved into 
Chakotay's." Tom was confused.

"Oh right, well than I guess I was the last one to talk to 
him." Ken shrugged it off. Now he knew for sure he that had been 
right, Tom would have never meet Harry alone anywhere. Who sent the 
message? Why would they want him to use Tom's name to get Harry to 
the observation lounge? Doesn't matter now he thought.

"I am sorry that your last memory of him wouldn't be a good 

"Thanks Tom and the same goes for you."

"Thanks Ken. I have to go Chakotay and I are going back down 
to the planet for the day. See you tomorrow." Tom placed his hand on 
Ken's shoulder and then turned and walked over to Chakotay. They left 
soon after that and went back to the planet surface.

"Chief, I need a favor." Tom whispered as he kissed 
Chakotay's neck.

"Anything Tom." Chakotay moaned.

"Remind me that even when things change but we will be okay." 
He put his head on Chakotay's shoulder and sighed.

"We will be okay Tom." Chakotay lifted Tom's head from his 
shoulder and proceeded to show him that no matter how much things 
changed in their lives they would always be okay.

The End