Title: Things Change 5/?
Rating: R different reasons
Disclaimer: Nope I don't own them,
I can't afford them. Paramount is
the lucky one. I am just playing.
Things Change 5
When Tuvok left Harry's quarters
he went to Chakotay's where he knew
Tom would be. He rang the door chime
and heard the command for the
door to open.
"Hi Tuvok what can I do for you?"
Tom had calmed since his
run in with Harry earlier.
"Lieutenant Paris may we speak for
a few minutes?"
"Sure Tuvok but can we do it back
in my quarters? I don't
really feel comfortable hanging
out in Chakotay's just yet. And I
need to get a couple of more things."
"Of course." Tuvok followed Tom out
and back down the
corridor to his quarters.
"Come on in Tuvok have a seat can
I get you anything?"
"No thank you I am fine."
"Okay what did you want to talk to
"This is not an official visit may
I call you Tom?"
"Of course you can anytime Tuvok."
"Thank you Tom. I want to begin by
prefacing that I did not
intentionally listen to your conversation
with Mr. Kim in the
"I am sorry Tuvok. I did not want
to have that conversation
at all. Let alone in the hallway."
"Tom, again this is not an official
visit and I realized that
it was not you who started the conversation
or you who caused it to
escalate into an argument. First
I wanted to make sure that you were
all right? I sensed your extreme
distress during the argument."
"I am not going to tell you that
I am fine Tuvok because I'm
not. I am calmer then I was but
I am still pretty angry at Harry."
"I expected as much. I did have a
conversation of my own with
Mr. Kim after you left. I confronted
him about his need to lie to me.
He told me that he didn't want you
to get in trouble but there was no
reason for you to hit him."
"No reason? Tuvok he called Chakotay
a pompous bastard among
other things. He was rude and nasty
and his reaction was uncalled
for. Maybe I was wrong in hitting
him but that does not negate the
fact that he had it coming."
"I do not doubt that Mr. Kim did
provoke not only you but
several other members of the crew.
I have had many people come to me
since the incident and express their
displeasure with Mr. Kim and his
attitude towards both you and Chakotay.
It also may interest you to
know that Mr. Dalby stated quite
plainly that if you were to be
charged with anything that he would
also expect to be charged because
it was he who aggravated the situation."
"Really? Damn, now that I would not
"You said yourself that Mr. Dalby
had approached you and Mr.
Kim with the intent to assault Mr.
Kim not once but twice."
"Yeah, but I just figured that because
he didn't he would let
"Tom you do not seem to realize that
members of this crew do
in fact like you and would defend
you when necessary. As a matter of
fact every person that has approached
me over the last two days has
been very specific in their defense
of your actions."
Tom was speechless but there was
a little voice inside his head that
said 'Take that Harry Kim'
"Thank you for telling me that Tuvok
you don't know what that
means to me."
"I believe I do Tom and you are welcome.
Now about Mr. Kim
while I spoke to him I heard and
felt things that I believe he,
himself, is unaware of feeling.
Mr. Kim is jealous of your friendship
with Chakotay." Tom snorted at that
" He also does not particularly like
that fact that you have made
other friends besides him. I believe
he has been under the impression
that you would always need his friendship.
By becoming friends with
Chakotay and others that need is
no longer there on your part. Mr.
Kim, however, still counts you as
his best friend or did until this
evening and perhaps the only friend
he truly has on this ship. He has
not adapted as well as he would
like everyone to think or more to the
point would like you to think. Any
friendships he has with others is
due in a large part to your making
those friends first."
Tom sat and took in everything Tuvok
was saying. He thought about it
and yes Tuvok was right, whenever
Tom was able to break through an
invisible barrier and became friends
with a member of the crew Harry
came along for the ride. Most people
did not seek out Harry they
sought out Tom and Harry was just
there. Harry only ever asked him to
play pool or go to the resort. Even
with B'Elanna Harry never invited
her it was always Tom.
"Tuvok I understand what you are
saying but that is totally
infantile on Harry's part. I can't
be a friend with anyone but him? I
remember my sisters going through
that when they were five and six
"Be that as it may Tom, that is how
Harry views you and your
"Are you asking me to just forget
everything he said to me
both the other day and tonight?
Because if you are Tuvok I am going
to tell you, I don't think I can
do that. I will not be told whom I
can and can't be friends with. Just
as he said about me at the
beginning of this trek home no one
picks my friends but me."
"Tom I am not asking you to forget
anything. I merely wanted
to point out to you what Mr. Kim
was thinking and feeling, from my
point of view. I also do not expect
you to give up any of your other
friendships to accommodate Mr. Kim
or anyone else for that matter.
That would be illogically, you are
capable of making your own
"Thank you Tuvok I do appreciate
your candor. I hope you know
that I include you in my circle
"I am glad that you do Tom because
I also count you among the
friends I have."
"So as a friend would you be willing
to help me finish moving
my things?" Tom grinned
"It would be my pleasure Tom." They
both stood and Tom handed
him a small box of video chips.
"If Chakotay has to be in bed or
resting for the better part
of six weeks, I am going to need
these to keep him entertained for
part of the time. I haven't figure
out exactly what I am going to do
with him for six weeks but I am
working on it."
"Perhaps you could have him help
you with a holodeck program.
I do have a number of security simulations
I would like to have you
write. That should keep you both
occupied for some time. Also I will
be stopping by after shift to relieve
you for a while each day. I am
sure I can think of something to
keep his mind occupied for a time."
"You're on Tuvok but remember you
volunteered for this duty
assignment when he is growling at
you, in a couple of weeks, that
he's bored." Tom laughed as they
walked out of his quarters and back
towards his new temporary home.
"Indeed." Tuvok's eyebrow seemed
to reach his hairline and
Tom laughed harder.
When they reached Chakotay's door
and entered Tom directed Tuvok as
to where to put the box. The door
chime rang and Tom called for the
person to enter. When the door open
the captain entered.
"So Tom are you all settled in?"
She smiled looking around
"I just finished bringing a few things
"You did? I don't see anything of
"Well I am not moving it permanently
captain" He laughed
"I know that Tom but." Tom
stopped her from saying anything
"Captain, I am here to help Chakotay
recover there is no need
for me to impose myself on him that
much. I brought what will be
necessary for my stay and a few
video chips for us to watch. A couple
of padds for reading and a book
"You mean a real book with pages?
Tom I am shocked I thought
if it wasn't on a padd you wouldn't
touch it." She laughed.
"Captain, I'll have you know that
I have an extensive real
book collection both here and at
my father's house. Or I use to, he
may have gone rid of them by now."
"I doubt that, I am sure he is keeping
them dust free for
when you get back."
"You may be right, most of the books
are ones he bought me."
Tom moved about the lounge area
and living room putting a few things
up out of the way. Tuvok had finished
putting the few things he had
away for Tom.
"I believe I will turn in for the
night. I will be here
tomorrow evening after dinner to
help in whatever way I can Tom. Good
Night, Tom, Good Night, Captain."
"Thanks for the help and the talk
Tuvok. Good Night."
"Good Night Tuvok." Kathryn said
as he left.
Tom and Kathryn spoke for a few more
minutes about what would
happen during the next six weeks.
Then she decided it was time for
her to get some sleep. Bidding him
a good night she was gone.
After she left Tom finished putting
the rest of his stuff
away then left for his own quarters.
He wasn't going to sleep in
Chakotay's until the man was home.
Once he was back in his own place
he double-checked to make sure he
hadn't forgot anything he would
want. Then thought if he had he
could always come back and get it.
Satisfied that he had gone all he
could for the night He went to bed.
The next morning at 0900 hours Tom
walked into sickbay to
find the doctor finishing up some
tests on Chakotay.
"Good Morning, Doc. Morning, Chief."
He smiled as he walked
over to them.
"Good Morning, Mr. Paris. I am glad
to see you are on time."
"Good Morning, Tom." Chakotay smiled
back. "So are you sure
you want to be around the bear?"
"Oh I think I can handle you. If
not I am sure we can find
someone among the masses who have
volunteered who can."
"Well gentlemen, before you go I
would like to go over a few
things with the both of you." Tom
and Chakotay looked at each other
and rolled their eyes. Both knew
that the other was thinking the same
thing. The doctor has gone over
a few things with them several times
in the past couple of days.
"Sure Doc, what do we need to know?"
Tom knew better than to
argue with the hologram.
"First, just as you have while you
were here, you will need
to keep your feet elevated slightly
above your heart when you are
laying down. You can sit up,
as a matter of fact I recommend it. But
for no more then an hour at a time.
You can't have solid food for
another two days. Broth, light soups,
nutritional supplement drinks
are fine but limit them to once
a day. As I stated two days ago, you
must rest more then anything else
for the next four to six weeks. For
the next two weeks bathing should
be limited to sponge bathing or
portable sonic cleansers. Trips
to the bathroom to relieve yourself
are also not recommended in that
"Doctor, how in hell can you ask
me to. What are you saying?
I have to use a bedpan?" Chakotay
"Yes, Commander, bedpan only."
"This is going to be extremely embarrassing."
"Hey don't worry about it Chief I
am a professional," Tom
smiled at him, hoping his own reservations
didn't show. Chakotay made
a noise that sounded like a mix
between a snort and a groan, Tom had
to laugh then.
"Commander, it is very important
that you follow my
instructions to the letter. Obviously
you don't understand just how
close you were to dying a week ago."
The doctor sounded indignant.
"Doctor, I do understand how close
I was last week. What I
don't understand is why I can't
use the bathroom."
"It would require walking Commander
and your body needs time
to recover from the heart attack
and the surgery. We did replace an
artery, remember and there are some
things that even modern
technology can't rush. "
"Alright Doctor." Chakotay sighed
Tom remained silent, he had been
through this once before. He had
heard the arguments, he even understood
how Chakotay felt. But what
he knew that Chakotay didn't was
that if he didn't listen to the
doctor he could and mostly likely
would die. That was not going to
happen if Tom had anything to say
about it. Tom decided he would tell
Chakotay about his mother once they
were alone. Not to scare the
older man but, hopefully, to make
him understand just how important
it was for him to do exactly as
the doctor instructed.
The doctor turned to Tom and handed
him a padd and several
"Mr. Paris, this padd has further
instructions for you on it and the
hyposprays contain the medication
that the Commander will need to
take. You will be able to replicate
them, as you need them. These are
to be administered as soon as you
get to his quarters. Oh one more
thing, I understand that the captain
had an extra bed placed in the
commander's quarters for you. You
should move it into his bedroom."
He raised his hand forestalling
"The reason for that is, if the commander
has a problem, he may not
be able to call out for you. By
you sleeping in the same room with
him, you will hear him if he is
"That makes sense." Tom answered.
"No, I believe we have covered everything
for now. I do
expect to see the commander back
here in two days."
"He will be here, I promise."
"Very well, I am done. You can take
the commander home."
"Thanks. Paris to Tuvok."
"Tuvok, the doctor said Chakotay
can go home now. So whenever
you are ready."
"Understood, Lieutenant." Chakotay
looked at Tom with a
puzzled expression on his face.
"Well you can't walk back to your
cabin and I don't think I
could carry you. So, Tuvok said
he would transport us back." Chakotay
nodded his understanding.
"Tuvok ready to beam out."
Tom said, then they both felt the
familiar tingle of the transporter.
Rematerializing in Chakotay's
quarters he was shocked to find
himself in his bed.
"How the hell?"
"Tuvok, got the exactly coordinates
for your bed and presto.
The doctor did say no walking, right
now, even from the bedroom door.
And whenever you have to go to sickbay
Tuvok or Greg will beam you
back and forth."
Tom helped Chakotay get comfortable
once he put the padd and hypo
down. Then he gave Chakotay the
required hypos. Both men were silent
during this time each one thinking
that they were going to become
quite intimate over the next six
weeks. Neither actually knowing how
they or the other felt about it,
they each decided to leave it alone
for now. Once Tom was satisfied
that Chakotay was comfortable.
"I am going to see about getting
your bed moved so I can put
the other bed in here also."
"Alright. I would offer to help but."
"Ha! Don't think so. I am going to
call and ask Greg to help.
He wants to see you anyway. He wasn't
happy that the doctor wouldn't
let him see you in sickbay."
"Okay. Tom, thank you for helping
"No problem Chief."
"Are you going to call me that all
the time now?"
"I don't know maybe." Tom grinned.
"Do you need anything?
Want something to drink?"
"A glass of water would be good.
Honestly I am tired, I think
I will get some sleep." Tom walked
out of the room and came back with
a glass of water.
"You will be doing a lot of sleeping
for the next few weeks
Chakotay. If you feel the need to
sleep don't fight it. You have to
listen to your body."
"I know, if I had listened before
I may have avoided all
this." Chakotay said as he waved
his hand to indicate the bed and his
having to stay in it.
"We don't know that for sure, but
it doesn't matter now. It's
over and done with, now is the time
to think about your recovery. Go
to sleep, I will call Greg and when
you wake up he and I will move
what needs to be moved."
Chakotay nodded, closed his eyes
and was asleep before Tom left the
room. Tom commed Greg and explained
what he needed done. Greg readily
agreed to help, he also asked how
Chakotay was doing. Tom and he
spoke for a few minutes and then
agreed that when Chakotay woke Tom
would comm him and he would come
by. Signing off Tom replicated
himself a snack, he was going to
go over the padd that the doctor had
given him. When he realized it was
in Chakotay's room, he went in
quietly and got it. While there
he quickly checked Chakotay's
breathing and heart rate, satisfied
the older man was fine he went
back in the living room, got comfortable
and started reading.
For the next three hours Tom read,
answered comm's from
different crewmembers and started
going over the security simulations
Tuvok wanted. The captain stopped
by to see how everything was going.
While they spoke Chakotay woke up
and the captain visited with him
for a few minutes. Tom commed Greg
and then politely kicked the
captain out saying that the doctor
ordered limited visiting times for
the first week. She left and Tom
once again checked Chakotay's vital
"Greg will be by in a few minutes
to help with the beds. Do
you need anything before then?"
"Maybe a glass of water. I am thirsty."
"Okay, I think I will put a pitcher
and glass on the
nightstand. This way you can have
it whenever you want."
"That sounds good Tom, thanks." Chakotay
laid back, closed
his eyes and realized he had to
go to pee. 'Shit!'
Chakotay heard the door chime and
hoped it was Greg. He wouldn't have
a problem with Greg helping him.
They had been together while they
were in the Maquis. Chakotay really
wasn't looking forward to letting
Tom or Tuvok get up close and personal.
But he couldn't get stressed
that is what the doctor said. 'Wonder
if we can beam it out.' He
snorted at the thought. Tom and
Greg interrupted his thoughts.
"Hey Chakotay, how are you feeling?"
His old friend was
smiling and looking quite pleased
to see him. Chakotay was glad to
see Greg too for more then one reason
"I am feeling better thanks, Greg.
So now tell me how are the
two of you going to move this bed
with me in it?"
"Never fear Chief we have that covered!"
"Yeah, you are going on a quick transport
ride to the bed in
the lounge area and then back again
when we have moved the bed."
"Tom you can't expect the captain
to approve something like
"It was her idea Chief." Tom informed
him with a smug look on
Chakotay couldn't believe it, but
he wasn't going to say anything.
"So if you are ready?"
"Actually, Tom, would you give Greg
and me a minute to talk
"Sure thing." Tom turned and left
and if he felt hurt he
didn't show it.
"What's up Chakotay?" Greg was puzzled
as to why Chakotay
would want to talk to him privately.
"Greg, I need to ask a big favor
from you and please don't
say anything to Tom."
"Sure Cha what's up?"
"Well, umm, I have to pee and I am
not allowed to get up and
use the bathroom. Could you possibly
help me? I know it seems stupid
but I am not comfortable with Tom
standing here helping me sit up so
I can pee."
"Of course Cha." Greg couldn't help
but laugh at his friend's
"It's not funny Greg. This is really
embarrassing! How am I
going to do this for six weeks?"
Greg could hear the frustration in
"Cha why don't you just talk to Tom
and tell him how you
feel. He might feel the same way
you know." Greg reasoned.
"You are right. I will, but right
now can you give me a hand?
And no I don't mean hold it for
me. Just help me sit up further and
hold me upright."
"Okay, what are you going to use
to pee in?"
"I think there is some kind of portable
thing in the
bathroom. That is what Tom had said
yesterday." Greg went into the
bathroom and came back with an odd
shaped plastic pitcher with a
handle and a cover.
"Gods, that's it?"
"Yeah, it's called a urinal. I remember
seeing one of these
when I visited my grandfather as
a kid. He was bedridden for a while
and well he used this."
"Okay, since you have seen one how
does it work? Hurry I
can't wait much longer."
Greg handed Chakotay the odd shaped
plastic urinal, then stood beside
him, grabbed on to his arm from
his armpit and pulled him forward.
Placing his other arm around Chakotay
back and gripping his shoulder
he gave him the support he needed
to sit and take care the problem.
Hearing Chakotay breathe a sigh
of relief as he went to the bathroom,
Greg couldn't help but chuckle.
"You know for a big strong mystical
warrior you can be such a
"Hey, let's see how you would react
to suddenly being
completely depend on others and
try to keep some dignity." Chakotay
growled at him.
"I never said I wouldn't have a problem
with it, I am just
saying that you really need to tell
Tom. You might end up hurting his
feeling if you don't. He has given
up something no one ever thought
he would to be here Chakotay. Don't
give Harry the satisfaction of
being right." Greg helped Chakotay
lay back down, took the urinal and
walked into the bathroom.
"What? What are you talking about?"
Chakotay asked when Greg
returned. Chakotay had no idea what
Greg was talking about. Tom
didn't say anything to him about
the last argument so he didn't know
that they were no longer friends.
'Ask Tom." Then as if knowing
he was being talked about Tom
knocked on the door and came in.
"Sorry, are you done? I don't want
to rush you Greg but you
only have about thirty minutes before
your dinner date will become
"Right, don't want Gerron to be angry
with me. I will suffer
for sure." Greg smiled at the two
"So you ready for that transfer,
"Ready as I will ever be, I suppose."
Tom nodded and called
Tuvok to let him know they were
Twenty-five minutes later Chakotay
was back in his own bed and the
single bed Tom would be using was
"Thanks for you help Greg, I appreciate
"No problem Tom. Glad I could help."
Chakotay. "And you be a good patient
and remember what I said."
"Yes, Sir." Chakotay said with a
mock salute. Greg shook his
"Bye Tom. Bye Chak." He said as he
turned and let himself out.
"Have a good visit?" Tom was curious
about what the two
friends spoke about but didn't want
"Yes, we did as a matter of fact."
Chakotay shifted a bit on
the bed. Moving himself in a more
upright position. Tom immediately
went over and helped.
"Tom, we need to talk a few things."
When he saw the pained
expression on Tom's face, he realized
that Tom might have thought he
was going to tell him he didn't
want his help.
"Tom relax, I just thought that now
would be a good time to
talk about what we are both going
to have to do over the next couple
of weeks. I have to admit that I
am uncomfortable with one or two
things and I think you might be
also." Tom nodded silently, waiting
for Chakotay to go on.
"Perhaps, by talking about it now,
we will both be able to, I
don't know reassure each other that
it's okay. We can deal with
whatever happens if we know that
the other feels uncomfortable or
even angry. Because I do see myself
getting angry that I won't be
able to get out of bed and do simple
things for myself. I already am,
but I am not nor will I be angry
with you, though it might seem that
way at times."
While Chakotay spoke Tom came
to a decision, he was going to be as
honest as he could be about everything
with Chakotay. He knew that
Chakotay would expect and he would
do the same with Tom. He sat down
on the bed close but not too close
to the older man.
"You are right Chief, there is something
I am uncomfortable
with and I don't want you to think
that it has anything to do with
you. But can I ask that you tell
me what you have a problem with
before I spill my guts?" Tom gave
a small smile hoping that Chakotay
would in fact tell him first. That
way he would be able to get out of
there as soon as he told the older
man about his experience and avoid
the possibility have having to "explore"
his feelings on the whole
Chakotay did want to get everything
he was feeling out of the way
quickly. He figured if he did then
he could listen to Tom and then
they could talk things out and work
"Okay, me first huh?"
"I don't like depending on others
for anything. I resent
having to depend on you for having
to help me with the every day
things I need to do in my life.
I don't resent you because it's you
Tom Paris, I would resent the help
no matter who it came from. My two
biggest problems is having anyone
give me a bath and needing help to
simply take a pee. I am not
shy when it comes to my body, but I
prefer to be in control of when
someone sees me naked." Chakotay gave
Tom a shy smile and waited.
"Chakotay, I do understand how you
feel, and believe me if
there was any other way we could
do this, I would to make you feel
more comfortable. To make ME feel
more comfortable" He sighed and
decided to just jump in.
"I want to tell you something that
I have never told anyone,
although someone did figure it out.
I would like to get it all said
before you say anything. I need
you to just listen to me. Know that I
am telling you this because if I
don't and you see a reaction from me
when I am trying to help you get
cleaned up, you might think it is
about you and it wouldn't be."
"Alright Tom, I will listen and refrain
for commenting until
you are done." Chakotay didn't like
the directions his thoughts were
going just from the little Tom has
said already. He had a bad feeling
about whatever the younger man was
about to confess. But he knew he
would have to hear him out with
as little reaction as he could.
"Okay." Tom took a deep breath and
let it out. It was as if
he was trying to gain a bit of strength.
"When I was at the Academy, my roommate
boyfriend "forced" themselves on
me. They got me drunk, not too
drunk, just drunk enough to let
my guard down. See Danny, my
roommate, knew that I was curious
about being with another man. He
called it bi-curious, anyway, he
told his boyfriend Blair about it
about Blair "volunteered" to show
me the ropes. When I realized that
things were going to go further
than I was ready for I told them I
wasn't that curious. I said no,
but Blair decided he didn't want to
stop. He had Danny hold me down
while he, umm, you know. Then Blair
reversed positions with him and
Danny did the same." Tom cut himself
off for a minute to catch his breath.
When he saw that Chakotay was
going to say something he held up
his hand to stop him, and he shook
his head to indicate he wasn't done.
Taking another deep breath he
started again with his story.
"Since then I have had an extremely
difficult time being
around naked men. Prison was hell
for me. I was so scared when it was
time to shower, there were days
I would beg off no matter how dirty I
felt. I just couldn't stand the
thought of being around other men and
being naked. Thankfully I never
had worry about being forced again.
There were guys who gave it up freely
and willing for those who
wanted sex, so the need to take
it from someone who wasn't willing
just wasn't there."
"I was approached once by a new inmate
but he was quickly
shown he shouldn't have. There was
this guy Tony who, it turned out,
knew Blair. Seems that Blair had
a reputation for going around
picking up guys and then getting
them to help him with his real
fetish. I don't remember how or
why I ended up talking about Danny to
Tony, but he remembered Blair's
"best student", his words, and knew
what happened without me having
to actually say anything. Tony kept
an eye on me while I was there,
he didn't need to protect me, he knew
that I could take care of myself.
He just watched my back."
"I wanted you to know this because
I know that I am going to
react poorly, even though I'll try
not to. I can and will do whatever
I have to do to help you, but if
I seem hesitant I don't want you to
think it's you and get upset." Tom
finished with a cleansing breath
and started to stand, but a hand
on his arm stopped him.
"I am sorry that you went through
that Tom. I can see that
you have dealt with the pain and
the probable humiliation it caused."
He decided not to use the correct
term for what happened to Tom. He
would not force that issue on him."
As your friend, I would never
tell anyone anything you told me,
especially something like this."
Tom hadn't been able to look at
Chakotay at first but when he said
that he did look up.
"I do understand and will understand
your hesitation when helping me
bathe or use the urinal. I will
not lie to you and say I am not
upset. Because I am upset but not
with you, I could never be upset
with you for your reaction to seeing
me with nothing on. I am,
however, upset for you." Chakotay
stopped and waited to see Tom's
reaction to his admission. When
he saw that Tom accepted what he said
as the truth he continued.
"I am upset that, instead of being
able to find out if being
with another man was something you
wanted, you were forced to decided
never to take that chance. No one
should ever but forced to do
anything they don't want to do,
especially when it comes to sex. I
will say that I hope I never meet
Blair or Danny, because I couldn't
promise that I wouldn't beat the
crap out of them for what they did
to you." Chakotay finished with
a evil smile, knowing that Tom
understood he was just being himself.
Protecting his friends from
"Thank you Chakotay. Thank you for
understanding, thank you
for being my friend." Tom whispered.
"Hey how could I not be your friend?
You saved me from
certain death twice now." He smiled
hoping to lighten the mood.
"Yeah well I would do that for any
friend and I am glad we
are friends Chief."
"I have to ask you something. Greg
mentioned something to me
and I need to know what he meant.
He wouldn't tell me, he said to ask
Tom stiffen a little, he knew Greg
didn't know he had decided not to
tell Chakotay about Harry and his
self-centered, childish attitude.
He didn't want Chakotay to get angry.
"What did he say?"
"Well, I will start by being honest
and tell you that me
needing to speak to him in private
wasn't the complete truth."
Chakotay looked down at his hands
in is lap. "I needed to pee and I
felt strange asking you. Greg and
I go back a long way and well, we
have been intimate. I felt more
comfortable having him help me then
you. It had nothing to do with you,
as I said earlier, I prefer to
have some control as to when and
why people see me with no clothes
on." Tom nodded his acceptance of
"That said, Greg told me I should
tell you how I felt. He
said and I quote, ''He has given
up something no one ever thought he
would to be here Chakotay. Don't
give Harry the satisfaction of being
right.' What was he talking
Tom sighed, he figured he might as
well just tell him
"Harry has been a real jerk since
you had the heart attack.
Walking, no, stomping around, complaining
that everyone was acting
like you were this god like person,
which they weren't. I told you I
hit him." Chakotay nodded.
"Well last night while I was
bringing some of my stuff here I ran
into him in the corridor. He still
had this huge chip on his shoulder
and I just didn't want to deal with
it. He said some really nasty
things about me and you and the
rest of the crew. I told him he was a
self centered cry-ass child and
I had no time for him. He got even
nastier and claimed that no one
gave a shit about him when he had
died." Tom stopped and stood
up, he started pacing he was getting
pissed all over again he needed
"I just freaked! If my arms hadn't
been full I would have hit
him again. I started to walk anyway
and again his accusations came
flying at me. I told him that even
if everyone on this ship turned
their back on me once you are on
your feet, I would rather rot in my
quarters then ever be caught dead
spending time with him again. So
needless to say Harry and I are
no longer friends." He stopped pacing
and faced Chakotay.
He hoped the older man wasn't too
upset or angry he knew that would
be the worse thing for Chakotay.
What he saw on the other man's face
was not anger but sadness.
"Tom, I am sorry. I don't know what
I ever did to Harry Kim to make
him dislike me so much."
Tom shook his head, he realized that
Chakotay didn't understand what
he was saying.
"Chakotay, he doesn't hate you, he
hates the fact that you and I are
friends. Harry hates the fact that
I am a friend with anyone but him.
He doesn't want me to have any friends
other then him. It's an
infantile way of thinking, as I
told Tuvok, my sisters and their
friends acted that way when they
"How did Tuvok get involved?"
"He heard the entire argument. I
am surprised the whole ship
didn't hear us the way we were yelling."
Tom still couldn't believe
he lost his temper like that, let
alone twice in as many days.
"Tuvok spoke to Harry first and then
he came to see me. He
did explain a few things to me that
I hadn't seen. But none if it
excuses Harry's behavior as far
as I am concerned."
"Chakotay, Harry doesn't matter anymore.
Even if you were to
tell me to leave and someone else
can take over with your recovery, I
will never again set myself up like
that with him. I want to be here,
I want to help you, I need to help
you. You are my friend, I could
not turn my back on you for Harry
or anyone else for that matter."
"Thank you Tom, for being willing
to give up the one person
who has believed in you all along
to help me. I can't begin to tell
you what that means to me."
"Honestly Chief, I don't think Harry
really ever believed in
me. Not after what Tuvok said. I
believe he became my friend because
he thought he would be my only friend
out here. Personally I think I
stepped up in my choice of friends
not down. So, let's just forget it
and go forward, okay?" Tom smiled
"Okay." Chakotay smiled back and
then suddenly felt very
tired. His eyes closed of their
"Damn Chief, why didn't you tell
me you were tired. Here I am
going on and on and you should be
resting, if not sleeping."
"I was fine until just now but I
am tired now and think I
will take a nap."
"Okay." Tom checked the time. "Let
me get the hypospray it's
time for your medication anyway.
Then you can sleep, when you get up
you should have something to eat."
Tom got the required hypo and
administered the medicine.
"Tom I can't eat remember?" Chakotay
"Oh you know what I meant." Tom said
with faked frustration.
"Go to sleep Chief, see you in a
couple of hours." As Tom
left the bedroom he called for lights
out and closed the door.