Title: Talk 4/4
Pairings: C/P (later) K/7 &
Disclaimer: Paramount owns them
part and parcel, I
just wanted them to have a bit of
Feedback: If you would like sure
Summary: Tom is feeling down, Chakotay
gets him to
Over the next couple of days, the
two men were each
other's constant companion off duty.
If anyone was
surprised or uncomfortable with
this sight, they
didn't say anything. Seeing the
commander laughing or
smiling seemed to have a positive
affect on everyone,
and they figured if Tom Paris was
the one causing it,
Even Harry seemed to accept the fact
that when he saw
Tom off duty, nine times out of
ten, Chakotay was
there too. He did wonder though
about the change, and
he wanted to ask his friend what
was going on. The
opportunity presented itself one
morning at breakfast.
Harry came into the mess hall and
found Tom sitting
"Morning, Harry. Have a seat."
"Thanks. Mind if I ask you something,
"Nope. What's on your mind?"
"What's going on with you and the
"What do you mean what's going on?"
"Well, in the past week you two are
often than not. I was just wondering
if there was
something going on."
"Harry, only because you're my best
friend will I
tell you this, but you can't say
a word to anyone.
Okay?" Tom decided that telling
Harry about his
problem and the budding romance
would be okay.
Actually, it would help to know
what Harry thought
about sex-same relationships.
"Sure, Tom. You know I wouldn't say
Leaning in closer to his friend,
Tom whispered. "I've
been suffering from that most people
depression. Chakotay has been counseling
informally, for the past week."
"Oh. Is that all?" Harry was a little
He'd hoped that his friend and the
started a relationship. He wouldn't
worry so much
about Tom if he weren't alone. When
Harry had first
saw them together at Sandrine's,
he was surprised, but
since then he had gotten use to
the sight. He liked
seeing his friend smile as much
as he had been over
the past week.
"Yeah. What did you think was going
on Harry?" Tom
began to think it might have been
a bad idea to start
this conversation after all.
"Well, I thought you and he were.
"No, I don't know. What did you think
we were doing,
"Its stupid. Never mind."
"No. I'd prefer it if you told me."
Tom began to feel
"Tom, don't get upset. It's nothing
couldn't believe Tom was getting
"Harry, did you think that Chakotay
and I were
dating? Screwing, perhaps?"
"Geez, Tom. You don't have to get
"This is not defensive, Harry. This
is pissed off.
You sit down with me and ask a question.
with you, and you can't seem to
be honest with me. So
again, what did you think was going
on with the
commander and me?"
"I thought you were dating. I guess.
I was wrong. I'm
"Why would you think that?"
"It's like I said. You two are always
"So what! There was a time that you
and I were always
together. Did that mean we were
"Why are you so defensive? I was
just curious. I
heard a couple of people commenting
on how close you
two have been, and how it looked
like maybe things
were getting serious between the
two of you."
"SO? Do you have a problem with me
dating someone, or
just if it's a man?"
"No! Who you date doesn't matter
to me. Geez. Calm
down." Harry shook his head. This
was *not* how he
wanted this to go.
"You know, it's funny. When Seven
Chakotay and I were a couple, you
went nuts: like the
idea was appalling to you."
"I never said that. Don't put words
in my mouth. I
just couldn't see you and Chakotay
"Why not? What's wrong with me that
find me interesting enough to date?"
"Forget it Tom. This is a stupid
said that there was nothing going
on, so let's just
"I don't think it's a stupid conversation,
think you just don't want to answer,
but that's fine I
have to go anyway. I lost my appetite."
"Tom, I'm really sorry. I didn't
mean to upset you.
"Whatever! Bye!" Tom grabbed his
tray and stormed
"TOM!" He was too late. Tom was already
across the mess hall by now. He
didn't mean to upset
his friend. Harry wasn't close-minded,
but Tom hadn't
given him a chance to say so. He
knew he'd handled
that all wrong. He decided to get
back together with
Tom at lunch and explain himself
Tom walked as quickly as possible
office. He had commed him and asked
to speak with him
in a professional capacity. Tom
couldn't shake the
anger he felt for Harry. How dare
he be so damned
judgmental. Tom had just as much
right to be happy as
anyone on this ship did. Well, if
Harry Kim had a
problem with Tom being with another
man, no, with
Chakotay, he would just have to
get over it.
When he arrived at Chakotay's office,
the door slid
up without him having to ring the
surprised him a bit. He stalked
into the office and
flopped down on one of the chairs
with a heavy sigh.
"Tom, are you okay?"
"No! I am not okay!" he yelled.
"Whoa, what did I do?"
"Nothing, I'm sorry." Tom calmed
a bit, as always,
when he was around Chakotay.
"I just had breakfast with Harry.
It would seem that
Harry doesn't like the rumors that
are floating around
the ship these days."
"The rumors that you and I are dating,
or so it would
"I haven't heard anything, and I
am sure I would have
"Well, it would seem that my "friend"
has a problem
"Okay, let's back up and start from
Tom proceeded to tell Chakotay about
he'd had with Harry. Once again
getting angry, he got
up and started pacing the room.
Chakotay allowed him
to "blow off some steam", a favorite
Tom's, while he paced and spoke.
The rush of anger
passed rather quickly the second
"So that's it. My best friend is
"Tom, I think I missed something.
When did Harry say
he didn't like homosexuals? You
need to calm down.
Come here and lay down on the couch.
I want you to
just breath slowly. I am going to
massage your back a
bit to help you relax."
"Thanks, Chak... I'm sorry. You don't
Suddenly Tom collapsed, as if he
ran out of steam. He
laid on his stomach, pillowing his
head on his arms.
"Hey, I keep telling you it's my
job as your
counselor to help you work through
things like this."
Chakotay spoke as he sat on the
edge of the couch and
began massaging the pilot's shoulders.
"On a personal
note, it is my job, as your potential
make sure you are always at ease,
if I can help it."
He smiled as he continued to massage
Tom's back. He
could feel the tension slowly ebbing
"I like the idea of you being my
*boyfriend* sounds a bit childish.
You are far from a
boy that. Ts for sure."
"I like the idea, too. Now let's
go back over what
Harry said, or more precisely when
he said he had a
problem with you having a boyfriend."
Tom took a minute to go back over
the conversation in
his head, and groaned.
"He didn't say he would have a problem.
He said he
couldn't see you and me together
but he wouldn't say
why he couldn't imagine it."
"Did you give him the chance? Or
did you just get
angrier and yell at him?"
"He said it was a stupid conversation.
He ended it."
"Maybe. he ended it because he saw
how upset you had
gotten. Maybe. he didn't want to
upset you any
further." Chakotay believed that
this was what
motivated Harry to put a stop to
"You were in the mess hall. Two
senior staff members
fighting in the mess hall would
not go over well with
"SHIT! I can be such an idiot at
"Tom, you're not an idiot. You were
defensive. I think somewhere in
the back of your
brain, you're still concerned that
disapprove of us. You don't want
to lose your friend,
but you also don't want to give
up a chance to be
" Are you saying you're going to
make me happy?" Tom
"I'm going to try my best." Chakotay
"I like the sound of that, too. I
guess you're right.
Part of me still wants Harry's approval,
not that I'd
tell you to forget it if he doesn't."
"I know that, Tom."
"I guess I owe him an apology."
"I think you do. Do you feel better
"Would is still be unethical for
me to kiss you?"
"Yes, it would. You can kiss me,
"Yes. As of this afternoon you are
no longer in need
of counseling, or at least by me.
I spoke to the
captain this morning and told her
that I didn't think
I could help you any further along.
I also recommended
that you should, perhaps, begin
talking to the doctor
"The doc? We might get along, but
I don't want him
prodding me about my personal life.
He'll make it into
some kind of fact-finding mission.
I can't talk to
Tuvok, either. B'Elanna would kill
me if I mess up and
say something to him."
"I take it you don't know that Tuvok
have spoken to the captain."
"No, I've been too busy getting my
shit together to
worry about anyone else. When did
"Apparently, yesterday. It seems
that they've decided
to bond. They'll be off for the
next few days."
"Well, I'm glad B'Elanna got what
"I am, too. Anyway, that means that
you don't have to
worry about saying anything to Tuvok.
everything, B'Elanna told him about
"Shit! They told the captain?"
"No, B'Elanna came to me after they
speaking to her. She thought I should
know what was
going on. It would seem that B'Elanna,
out and saying it, thought something
developing between us. She thought
I should know that
she had no further claim on you,
and explained what
had happened. Of course, I didn't
tell her I knew, or
that I had been counseling you.
That would be your
place not mine."
"Of course. I realized that I was
more worried about
him reacting badly to the thought
of you and me
together, than how he would react
when I said I was
this side of crazy."
"Tom, you have always been this side
Nothing's changed, but we all know
"Ha! Ha! You know, Chak, stand up
comedy is *not*
"Good thing I'm sitting." Chakotay
groaned. "Now, are you calm enough
to go and enjoy
your last day off?"
"Yeah, I think I am."
"Good. Now go. I have a staff meeting
to get to."
"Yes sir! Will you have dinner with
"I'd love to."
"Okay. How about my quarters, say.
1800 hours? That
"Sounds perfect. I'll see you. Go
and enjoy yourself.
Find Harry. and listen this time,
"Okay. See you later, Chakotay. Have
a good day."
The whirlwind known as Tom Paris
was gone as quickly
as he had come. Chakotay couldn't
help but shake his
head; sometimes Tom made him dizzy.
His mood swung
faster than a spider monkey in pursuit
of dinner. His
office chime ended his thoughts.
"Come," Chakotay called out.
Harry stepped in, and the door closed
"Commander, can I speak to you for
"Of course, Ensign Kim. Have a seat."
Pointing to the
chair opposite him. "What can I
do for you?"
"It's about Tom," Harry answered.
"What about him?" Chakotay hoped
he could stay in a
professional frame of mind. It wouldn't
do for him to
lose his cool.
"I know that you've been counseling
him. He told me
"Yes, I am."
"Well, I think maybe I made things
worse. I don't
know what is or was wrong with him,
He didn't say. But
we had a disagreement, and he was
"I see. What did you have a disagreement
"I said something that was probably
out of line.
Please. don't be offended. I told
him that a couple of
people had made comments about the
amount of time the
two of you have been spending together."
"Well, I'm sure he explained that
we were meeting
informally for his sessions."
"Yes, he did."
"I see. What upset him?"
"I'm not completely sure," Harry
admitted. "All I
said was, 'That's it?'. All of a
sudden he got upset."
"It was closer to anger, actually,
He asked me what I
was thinking." Harry ran a trembling
hand through his
hair. "At first, I didn't say anything,
but he kept at
it. Finally, I told him that it
had looked like the
two of you were becoming involved,
and this is the
embarrassing part. I said I couldn't
see the two of
"I see." Chakotay struggled to remain
"I didn't mean to insult him or you."
"I'm not insulted."
"All I had meant was that I didn't
think the two of
you would become involved that way.
I don't have
anything against same-sex relationships.
around them most of my life, both
male and female. But
I think I came across as being narrow-minded
something, because Tom just went
off. I could see he
was really angry, and honestly,
I didn't think we were
in the best place to talk about
it. I told him to
forget it, and that made him even
angrier. He stormed
out of the mess hall before I could
"I see. I'm sure that Tom will calm
down soon. I'd
suggest that when he does, you talk
to him again."
"I will. I just thought you should
know, because of
"Commander, Tom is my best friend."
Harry wasn't sure
why he felt the need to say this,
but he followed his
instincts. "It's true we haven't
been too close lately
and that's my fault. But I'd never
happiness just because he found
it with a man."
"I think that's another thing you
should tell him
Ensign, he holds you in very high
"I will, Commander. Thank you for
taking the time to
"You're welcome, Ensign. I'll see
you at the staff
meeting. You're dismissed."
"Yes sir. Thank you again."
Chakotay sat back and let out the
breath he had been
unknowingly holding. He was glad
that was over. He
really didn't want to have to hurt
Harry for upsetting
Tom by giving him a hard time about
when it became public knowledge.
That was something else they had
to discuss. Chakotay
didn't think it would be wise for
them to end their
sessions and then suddenly announce
their change in
status. For one thing, the captain
might try to stop
it, thinking it was a result of
this past week. That was partly
it, but only because
they had the chance to talk to each
other more openly.
She had no idea that he had
been attracted to the
younger man for a while. She had
some wild idea he was
still interested in her, or worse,
that he was
interested in Seven. Kathryn had
asked him several
times over of the past couple of
weeks if he was okay
with Harry Kim and Seven spending
so much time
together. Spirits, now that was
funny. While he found
the former Borg entertaining, he
was not attracted to
her in any way.
Harry decided not to comm Tom to
see if he would
have lunch with him. He didn't want
his friend to make
up excuses not to see him. Harry
had to apologize, and
he knew Tom would avoid him. After
location, Harry went to Tom's cabin.
He rang the door chime instead of
just walking in.
When he entered the cabin, Harry
found Tom sitting on
his couch reading.
"Hey Harry. Come in."
"Thanks Tom. Look. I want to apologize
morning. I didn't mean to upset
"Harry, it was my fault. I got defensive,
was no reason for it."
"That may be, but the fact remains
that you got the
wrong idea about what I was saying,
and I want to
clear it up."
"Okay, have a seat. Do you want some
"I can get it."
"Nah, it's on me. What would you
"I'll have stir-fried chicken and
"Sounds good. I think I'll join you."
Once Tom placed and received the
orders, he sat and
they began to eat. Harry didn't
want to wait too long.
He really did feel bad.
"Tom. listen, I've been around same-sex
relationships all my life. My mom's
brother was in a
long-term relationship with another
man. Before I
left, we celebrated their twenty-fifth
have a couple of cousins and a number
of friends that
all were in same-sex relationships,
both male and
female, it doesn't bother me. When
I said what I did
this morning, it was not meant to
be derogatory in
anyway. I would certainly be surprised
if you told me
you and Chakotay were involved.
But that would only be
because I had no idea you had an
interest in that kind
of relationship, not because I'm
homosexuals, or because I don't
think that Chakotay
would be attracted to you. "
"I understand, Harry. I'm sorry I
blew up. It's just
that, well, there is a possibility,
possibility, that something might
come of the whole
thing. I wanted you to be happy
for me. I was worried
that you wouldn't approve, and then
things would be
strained between us."
"Tom, my approval or disapproval
shouldn't stop you
from finding happiness. If being
with Chakotay is what
you want, great! Again, I'm a bit
surprised, but hell,
I'm surprised that Seven is giving
me the time of day,
so anything is possible." They both
"Thanks, Harry. I needed that."
"You're welcome. Remember, Tom. Your
whatever form is comes in, is what's
"I'll remember that."
"So, are you going to tell me how
this all came
about? I know that you and Chakotay
have been friends
for a while now. I just didn't realize
"Actually, I didn't know it either
until you seemed
to get so upset in Sandrine's that
night. First, I got
pissed because I thought Chakotay
would be angry at
Seven's incorrect observation. Then
I got mad because
you thought he wouldn't, or couldn't,
be attracted to
me." Tom held up his hand to forestall
"Later that night, I realized that
I was upset that
you might be right, that he wouldn't
be. That's when I
realized my feelings for him were
a bit deeper."
"I see. So I helped you out, huh?"
"Yeah, you did. A couple of days
later we were doing
an exercise, and when we were done,
I just sort of
told him. As it turns out, he's
been interested in me
for a while now. He just didn't
think I'd be
interested. Plus, there was that
whole B'Elanna mess.
Anyway, we've been using the time
to just get to know
each other and discuss what we both
want out of a
relationship. It's actually been
fun. There is no
pressure to perform, so to speak.
We're just friends
right now. Nothing is going to happen
for the time
"I see. You're taking it slow, like
Seven and I are
"Yeah, something like that. Also,
because he has
been my counselor, there's the whole
ethics thing to
consider. Chakotay feels that the
captain might think
he took advantage of my vulnerable
mind, which is
funny, really. I mean, the captain
thinking of me as
vulnerable in anyway."
"Well, she's concerned. You can't
fault her that."
"She doesn't know Harry, and she
isn't going to find
out. You're the only one who knows,
and will be the
only one for a while. We're taking
things very slowly.
We haven't even had our first date
yet. When we do,
I'm sure it will be a quiet dinner
in one of our
cabins." Tom didn't want him to
know dinner was
happening that night.
"Don't you think it would look odd
if the two of you
suddenly stopped going to Sandrine's
and doing stuff
"Oh, we aren't going to stop playing
pool, or even
hanging out together. It's just
not going to appear to
be anything more then what it looks
"Oh, okay. Don't worry, I won't say
"You're welcome. Damn! Look at the
time. I've got to
get back to the bridge. Thanks for
"Sure thing, Harry."
When Harry was gone, Tom cleaned
up their remaining
lunch mess and felt pretty good
about the whole hour.
He wanted to comm Chakotay to tell
him things were all
fixed with Harry, but he figured
that would wait until
dinner. Speaking of dinner, he hoped
he had enough
rations to feed Chakotay.
As he entertained thoughts about
dessert, he suddenly found himself
*after* dessert. He hoped they would
stay in, because
he wanted to spend the evening alone
Technically, their relationship
was no longer
counselor/patient, which meant he
could kiss him
without getting any protest from
the older man.
Smiling at the thought of finally
tasting Chakotay, he
then thought about all there was
to taste: not just
his mouth but his neck, his shoulders,
his chest, his
stomach. 'Oh man, better not go
there, Tommy. You'll
be a mess by the time he gets here.'
The afternoon wore on. Chakotay spent
it on the
bridge. When Harry came back from
lunch he gave
Chakotay a nod, which Chakotay interpreted
had gone well between Harry and
Tom during lunch. The
fact that Harry knew more was lost
to Chakotay. Harry
would keep his word to Tom and not
say a thing to
anyone. That included the commander.
Once the shift was over, Chakotay
left for his
office. He had a few reports to
finish before dinner.
In the middle of one said report
he comm badge
"Janeway to Chakotay." He was surprised
to hear her
voice. He rather thought Tom might
call to remind him
"Chakotay here. How can I help you
"I was wondering if you had plans
for dinner. I
thought it might be nice to have
"Thank you, Kathryn, but I have plans
"A date Chakotay?" He could hear
the humor in her
"Not exactly, I'm just having dinner
with a friend."
"All right. Enjoy yourself. I'll
see you in the
"Thank you, Kathryn. You have a good
Precisely at 1800 hours, Chakotay
rang the chime to
Tom's cabin. The door opened immediately,
him with a warm smile.
"Hi, yourself. How was your last
"It was good, thanks. Have a seat.
Harry came by for
lunch, and we worked everything
"Good, I'm glad. He came to see me
after you left
this morning. He was seemed pretty
"He didn't mention anything to me."
"Well, no, I didn't think he would.
He came because
he was concerned, as I said. He
also explained a few
things to me. He seemed to be worried
"I guess so. Well, he came by for
lunch and we
talked. He said that as long as
I was happy, it didn't
matter to him who the reason for
my happiness was.
Harry did say, if anything, that
he was a bit
surprised that it's you I'm interested
in, but he
didn't actually have a problem with
"I'm sure that made you feel better."
"Yeah, it did, but I know that it
mattered, or at least I'd hope it
"Tom, don't think about it anymore.
It's over and
"Okay. Now, dinner's ready."
They ate and talked; mostly about
Harry and the
reactions they might get from others.
decided that if what Harry said
was true, there
wouldn't be many problems. The biggest
Chakotay saw was the captain. She
might have a problem
with the situation. Tom pointed
out that there wasn't
a problem with Tuvok and B'Elanna
being bonded, so he
didn't think the captain would have
a problem with
them being together. When they are
done, they pushed
their plates aside.
"That was good, Tom. Thanks for dinner."
"You're welcome. Just think of it
as my 'thank you'
to you for helping me this past
"You're welcome, then."
"Would you like to have dessert now
"Later. I'm quite full."
"Okay. How about watching a vid or
was he suddenly so nervous?
"Watching a vid would be nice. Something
be better," Chakotay said with a
"You want to go play a little pool?"
"No. I'd like to be alone with you
for a little
while. Maybe collect that kiss you've
been eager to
"OH! Well, I think that can be arranged."
"I hoped so."
"Let me just clean up here. Go and
"I can help."
"Nope, you're my guest. Go and sit.
It'll only take
"All right. You don't have to tell
Tom cleared away the dishes while
comfortable. He looked through Tom's
vids, thinking that perhaps they'd
watch one after
all. Tom, however, was by his side
in just a few
"So. I believe there was something
I'm suppose to
give you," Tom whispered as he turned
Tom cupped Chakotay's face and gently
forward. He then touched his lips
to Chakotay's, and
kissed him lightly. When Chakotay
moaned at the touch,
Tom increased the pressure and began
to show the older
man just how happy he was that they
together. Chakotay felt a shiver
run down his spine
when the kiss was deepened. He parted
slightly, and Tom took the opportunity
to slip his
tongue inside. Both men moaned from
pure joy because
they were finally where they both
wanted to be.
Somewhere in the back of Chakotay's
mind he thought
there was no way he was leaving
Tom tonight without
making love to him.