Starting Over 5/?

Pairing: C/P

Major Character death: In the beginning. 

Rated R for implied m/m sex (yes finally the boys get together)

Feedback is welcome

Starting Over Part 5
By Maxine

     Saturday found everyone once again gathered outside Chakotay's 
home. The picnic was under way, this time including people from the 
village welcoming the Paris family to Dorvan. Greg and Gerron were 
there also. Chakotay had told them that Tom would be here when he 
spoke to them earlier in the week. They had told Chakotay then that 
they would come by on Saturday to say hello. 

    Miral was once again swept up by Chakotay's nieces and nephews 
and taken off to play. Tom found himself sitting at a table watching 
Chakotay as he interacted with his family. He was so lost in his 
thoughts that when his mother touched his arm he jumped. 

"Tom," she started as she sat next to him "you know that I 
love you with all my heart right?"

"Of course I do mom and I love you very much too."

"And you know that your happiness is one of the most important things to me."

"I know mom." Tom not sure where his mother was going with this conversation.

"Then I want you to know that I know and it's okay."

"You know what mom?"

"I know you have feeling for Chakotay and I am okay with that. Actually I am more than okay with it."

"Of course I have feeling for him mom he is my closest friend. I am glad you like him."

"Tom, I am not trying to shock you are anything. But I know that you are bisexual and I know that what you feel for Chakotay is more then just friendship. I know that you love him "

"Mom, what are you saying? Are you telling me that you don't have a problem with me being attracted to a man?" His mother nodded "But dad."

"Dad isn't here and he doesn't matter to us anymore Tom. I never agreed with his ideals on who we should and shouldn't love, but I knew better than to argue with him. What I am telling you son is to grab on to the happiness and hold on to it tight. I believe that your happiness is sitting right under that tree." Pointing discreetly to Chakotay.

"Mom, thank you but Chakotay doesn't want to be with me. Remember you told me he was holding out hope for an old crew member."

"Yes I remember Tom that old crew member is YOU!"

"No mom, I think you are mistaken. It's one of the Maquis."

"No Tom I am not mistaken it is you. If I didn't believe it before I do now, just by watching his reactions to you. Then there is the conversation I had with Maria yesterday." As if on cue, Maria sat 
down on the other side of Tom.

"Tom, I know you will make my Tay very happy and he you. He does care about you very much. All you have to do is pay attention to his actions."

      Tom was beyond speaking, not only did he mother know he was 
bisexual but that he was attracted to Chakotay. Then there was 
Chakotay's mother giving him her blessing. He knew he was staring in 
Chakotay's direction but he wasn't actually seeing anything.

  Chakotay felt that someone was looking at him so he turned and saw Tom staring at him. When Tom realized that Chakotay was looking back he smiled at him and blushed. Chakotay smiled back and felt himself blush also. Nayib laughed at his younger brother. 

"It looks good on you Tay."

"What does?"

"Love" with that parting shot Nayib walked away. Chakotay sat under the tree not sure if the whole world had figured him out when a 
shadow fell over him. He looked up to find Tom standing there.

"Hey Chakotay."

"Hey yourself."

"Would you like to take a walk with me?" Tom held out his hand to help Chakotay up.

"Sure" he grabbed the offered hand and stood. Wiping off the 
back of his pants he motioned for Tom to lead the way. 

  They walked for a bit getting further and further away from the 
picnic and the noise. When Tom could no longer hear anything he 
stopped and sat on the ground. Chakotay followed suit noticing the 
serious look on Tom's face.

"Is there something wrong Tom?"

"UMM, no not really. Just trying to figure out how to say this without you freaking out." Chakotay felt his heart plummeted Tom wasn't going to stay was the first thought that came into his mind. He has figured out that I am attracted to him and he doesn't want to be around me.

"Just say whatever is on you mind Tom. I promise I will try my best not to "freak out'."

"Okay here goes." Taking a deep breath "Over the past couple of weeks I have been thinking about something that hasn't come to 
mind too often in quite a few years.  And since I have been here I 
can't seem to stop thinking about it at all."

"What is it Tom? What have you been thinking about?" So his greatest fear hasn't been realized, just yet.

"Remember yesterday when I told you that I have been attracted to one or two men over the years?"

"Yes." Chakotay heard his heart pounded and prayed that Tom 
was about to tell him what he hoped.

"One of those men was.. Is you Cha." Tom spoke the last part 
so low that Chakotay had to strain to hear it.

"You were.. are attracted to me?"

"Yes. I know that you are interested in a man. I don't expect you to do or feel anything toward me in return. But I thought I should tell you before I do something stupid." Tom was shaking, Chakotay put his hand on Tom's cheek.

"I am very interested in one man in particular, have been for 
years." He said as his thumb stroke the top of Tom's cheekbone.
"Oh" Tom tried to turn his head away so Chakotay wouldn't see 
the tears in his eyes.  Chakotay turned his head back and looked him 
straight in the eyes.

"That man is you Tom. I been attracted to YOU for more years 
than I care to admit." Tears filled Tom's eyes, he couldn't believe 
his mother was right.

"Me? You have been attracted to me? For years? Why didn't you 
ever say anything?"

"Many reasons Tom. One we didn't always get along or like 
each other. Two, I didn't know you were interested in men. Three, you 
began to date and then married one of my oldest and closest friends. 
I could not tell you." Chakotay leaned in and kissed Tom gently on 
the lips and pulled back.

"Oh My. Do that again." Tom whispered pleadingly. Chakotay 
answered his plea by pulling Tom into his arms and kissing him. Tom 
moaned and Chakotay slipped his tongue in between his partially 
opened lips. Tom responded by opening further allowing Chakotay full 
access. Both men felt if they had died and gone to heaven. The kiss 
deepened even more and the moaning got louder. Chakotay broke the kiss when the need for air became too great to bear. He laid his 
forehead on Tom's and panted "WOW"

"Yeah WOW!"

"If I had known you could kiss like that I would have done this years ago."

"Hell if I had known YOU could kiss like that I would have done this years ago."

Chakotay laughed. 

"So Tom can I kiss you again?"

"PLEASE!" and they did. They kissed and explored each other for a long time. When finally Chakotay stood up and grabbed Tom's hand.

"We have to go back to the picnic."


"Because I am sure they have realized we are missing by now."

"Trust me out mothers will stop any attempt of a search."

"WHAT?" Tom laughed at Chakotay's horrified expression.

"I had a chat with our mothers before I came and asked you to go for a walk. They both gave me their blessing and told me to pass it on to you. I am sure that they have figured out why we are gone and they will stop anyone from coming to look for us." Tom grinned. "So again why do we have to go back just now?"

"Well if you like I can make love to you in the grass but this old body really prefers a bed for that." Chakotay answered as he places kisses down Tom's jaw and across his neck.

"Oh, well in that case you had better stop what you are doing now. If you don't we will never it make home." Chakotay stopped his assault on Tom's neck took his hand and began walking back toward the 
house. They were almost there when Tom stopped him. Chakotay turned and noticed a worried expression on his face.

"What's wrong Tom?"

"Cha, I really do want to make love with you but my mother is going to be in the house with us. I am not sure I can do anything with her in the next room."

"Tom, we don't have to do anything if you don't want to but I want you in my bed starting tonight. If you would rather wait until your mother is use to the idea of us being together we will."

"No you don't understand. I can't have sex with my mother under the same roof EVER. I feel like I am disrespecting her."

"HMM then we may have a problem because unless your mother plans on getting her own place we will never have the chance to make love. Or you have to get over your fear."

"I will work on it, I promise. But just for tonight can all we do is sleep? I really do want to make love to you but I don't think I can."

"Of course Tom I promise to keep my hands to myself."

"Gods no don't do that! Just keep it to your hands and lots of kisses." Tom smiled and kissed Chakotay. They began walking again."

  When they finally reached the houses, all the adults stopped what 
they were doing and after a moment they all started clapping. Tom 
blushed and Chakotay laughed. They were suddenly surrounded and were being offered congratulations and slaps on the back. They even heard a couple "it's about time". Layla approached them and informed Tom that Miral had fallen asleep in the crib at her house so she could 
stay for the night. Tom thanked her after she refused his offer to go 
and get her. Chakotay sat down with his mother smiling.

"I knew things would work out."

"Yes momma and thank you."

"You are welcome Tay I just want you to be happy."

"I am momma I am." Tom came and sat down next to Chakotay 
took his hand and held on tight. Miriam joined them after a few 

"Tom Cha I wanted to let you know that Maria and I have spoken at length and we think it would best if I were to stay with 
her instead of you." 

"Miriam you don't have to leave"

"Actually I do Chakotay. My son has this strange way of thinking. He seems to think that if he was to. Umm. Do more than sleep with someone while I am in the house he would be showing disrespect for me." Looking at her son's horrified face she snickered. "B'Elanna told me of your "problem" about a week after you got home.  So I think it would better for both of YOU if I move in with Maria."

"MOM! I can't believe you just said that."

"Well it's true and you know it. And I am sure that you have already told Chakotay. I could not in all good conscious stay with you knowing that both of you would be depriving yourselves of something that comes natural. Besides while talking to Maria we both discovered that as much as we like our freedom we prefer to have someone to talk to at night when the day is done. Maria is alone and if you two are going to be together I would want you to have your privacy and me mine. I would look for a place of my own. This way neither one of us will be alone. You two can have the privacy you need and we will be close by to help with Miral."

  Both men could do nothing but agree they both wanted to do more 
than sleep together.  It was settled Miriam and Maria went into Chakotay's house to retrieve Miriam's things. Chakotay turned to Tom 
and leaned in to kiss him.

"What do you say we call it a night? I think our plans for this evening have been changed back to the original ones." Chakotay whispered in Tom's ear then preceded to remind him of exactly what he had in mind of the next couple of hours. Tom merely nodded his agreement. They both stood up wrapped their arms around each other saying good night to everything they walked inside and into their bedroom.


     Sunday came and went with very little activity outside Chakotay's home. Layla kept Miral for the day and that evening she took her over to her mother's where another crib was set up. No one had the heart to disturb Chakotay and Tom. Everyone knew that they needed some time to be alone to talk things. 

  Laughter could be heard coming from the house at various times 
during the day. But mostly it was silent. In the evening Maria went 
over just to let them know of the plans that were made for Miral. 
Going at a time when she could see that they were in the kitchen 
making something it eat. Chakotay thanked her for letting them know 
and asked her to thank everyone for allowing them some time alone.

Monday morning at 0900 hours Tom arrived at the shuttle port 
station to speak to Wilco about the piloting job. Wilco informed Tom 
that if he wanted the job it was his. He had done some checking both 
of the information Chakotay gave him and his own. Tom's flying 
abilities were well known and greatly desired, so Wilco figured he 
would be a fool not to hire Tom immediately. Tom was ecstatic and 
rushed home to tell Chakotay. Tom found him in the kitchen having a 
cup of tea and feeding Miral.

"I got the job Cha!" He jumped in Chakotay's lap nearly knocking the teacup out of the older man's hand.

"That's great babe. I told you that there was nothing to worry about." Chakotay kissed him in congratulations. Miral laughed at the two men. 

"Cha, daddy funny."

"Daddy's funny is he?" Tom turned to Miral and tickled her chin. "Miral you and I are going to stay with Cha for good. Would you like that?"

"Stay Cha yes! Me like that. Me love Cha!"

"Yeah me love Cha too honey." He kissed his daughter and then 
kissed Chakotay.

"So are you working today Cha?"

"No I don't have to be back until tomorrow. We work four days on then three days off every other month. Next month I will work five on two off."

"Okay so what are your plans for the day?" Tom shifted himself in Chakotay's lap causing friction against the older man's arousal.  Chakotay moaned and kissed Tom.

"Not what you seem to be planning. Actually I am supposed to help Nay and Chandra move a few things this morning. And this afternoon you have plans with Jamal to go hiking." Tom pouted for a second.
"I guess my plans for you can wait until this evening." Tom leaned in and whispered some of those plans in Chakotay's ear. 

Chakotay moaned again and grabbed Tom. Kissing him passionately for a quick minute and then unceremoniously pushing him off his lap.
"Tom" he whispered "Miral is right here and watching you can't do that."

"Why not? It's not like she hasn't since me kiss anyone before."

"Well she was a little younger then and probably wasn't paying attention but right now she is staring at me like I grew another head." Tom chuckled.

"You did but she can't see it." He grinned.

"Spirits help me I have a monster on my hands."

"Nope no monster. Just someone who loves you with all his heart and wants to be with you always." It was the first time Tom openly admitted that he loved Chakotay and Chakotay felt tears of joy fill his eyes. 

"Oh Tom I love you too. I have for a long time."

"We have a lot of time to make up for Cha. I don't want to waste anymore."

"Babe we aren't going to waste anything but we also can't spend all of our time in bed."

"Why not?" 

Chakotay just shook his head and cleaned up Miral. He took her out of the highchair and handed her to Tom. 

"Go change pumpkin while I clean up in here. There is something I would like to talk to you about before I go to Nayib's."

"Okay I will be right back." Tom walked out of the kitchen as Chakotay went about cleaning it up. When he finished he went into the 
living room Tom got there at the same time. 

"What's up?" He asked as he placed Miral on the floor.

"I have been thinking, since we are together now I would like 
to adopt Miral. If something were to happen to you I would have no 
legal right to her and I don't think I would be able to hand her over 
to anyone."

"Oh Cha!" Tom couldn't say anything else. He couldn't believe 
that Chakotay would want to do this.

"I mean if something were happen to you and your mother, gods 
forbid was gone too, I don't want the admiral to try and get custody 
of her. I would have to leave with her and spend the rest of my life 
hiding and I would do it before I would allow your father to get 
anywhere near her."

"Thank you Chakotay! For loving Miral and me that much, I would love it if you adopted her. We can look into it later on today. I am actually going to call my sister and ask her to pack up the house for me. We can go back to earth the next three days you are off and collect everything and sign whatever papers are needed." Tom rained kissed all over Chakotay's face whispering I love you over and over again. I love you too was whispered back. Chakotay held on to him and accepted the kissing bath for a minute then he stopped him. 

"Alright now that that is settled I am going to go to Nay's and you are going to make whatever calls you need to. Also I think you should tell your mother that we will be going back to earth on Sunday. I am sure that she will want to get her things also."

"Sure thing Cha." Getting up Tom bend and picked up Miral. 

"Come sweetie let's go and see grandma." Walking towards the door
"See granny too right?" Tom stopped in his tracks then answered her.

"Yes and see granny too." He kissed Chakotay good bye and went next door.


One month later Tom was flying day runs back and forth to Trebus picking up supplies three times a week and two days a week he flew people to neighboring planets. He was always home every evening 
in time for dinner. Chakotay's days were spent at his work or helping 
rebuild a new section of Dorvan. One of Tom's scheduled transports 
found him flying a gentleman he thought he knew but just couldn't be 
sure. He ignored the feeling of familiarity for most of the flight, 
when finally he just couldn't anymore. He turned to his passenger and 
said "I am sorry but I have this feeling I know you."

"Well it took you long enough Thomas, yes you know me. I am a 
friend of your father's Robert Atwell. I haven't seen you seen the 
reception welcoming Voyager home. How are you?"

Tom's back had stiffened at the mention of his father and the 
realization that the admiral would now find out where he and his 
mother had gone. They left no forwarding address and specific 
instructions to all family and friends not to give Owen any information.

"I am doing really well sir thank you. How is your wife and family?"

"Everyone is well thank you. I wonder why Owen didn't tell me you were on Dorvan when I told him I was going to be here for the week."

"I am sure he doesn't know sir. He and I don't speak anymore."

"Oh I guess since your mother and he divorced it would be hard for you to get in the middle. How is your mother? Is she well?"

"Yes sir she is quite well and seemingly content."

"Well I am glad she is holding up okay. I have to tell you I was quite surprised when I heard they had divorced. I always thought they were the perfect couple."

"Yes I suppose but things and people do change." Tom stated 
as he began docking procedures.

"You are right. Please tell her I said hello and perhaps I will see you on my return trip to Trebus." Robert Atwell got up from his seat and left the shuttle. Tom slumped in the pilot's seat. "SHIT! SHIT! SHIT! Guess I had better let mom know as soon as possible." Tom left the shuttle and asked Wilco if it was possible for someone else to do the post flight checks there was an emergency at home he was needed. It wasn't exactly a lie. There would be an emergency as soon as he got there. Wilco got one of the other pilots to return a favor. Tom was always willing to help out the other pilots doing their preflight and post flight checks for them if they were running late and needed to get home. 

   Tom got in his hovercar and flew home as quickly as he could. He 
found Chakotay outside with Miral and the other children playing. He 
asked Chakotay to get Layla or Khola to watch the kids they needed to talk to his mother immediately.

Chakotay joked "Why are you pregnant?" Tom just scrawled at him and Chakotay realized that Tom was quite upset. He called out to Khola and asked her to stay with the children. He and Tom went to our mothers' house. Chakotay knocked and then walked in. Finding Maria in the living room he explained that Tom had to speak to Miriam. Tom went and got his mother from the kitchen brought her in the living 
room and sat her down next to her new best friend.

"Mom dad is going to find out where we are within the next four days."
"What how do you know?"

"Today I picked up a passenger on Trebus and brought him here. It was Robert Atwell. I am sorry mom the name really didn't register with me I would have never accepted the run if I had realized."

"Tom honey you couldn't have known and besides you can't refuse runs just because your father might find out where we are. We knew there was a chance he would and we will just go on with our lives until such time as we have to deal with him."

Miriam took her son's hand and squeezed it. 

"Tom I really wouldn't worry about it I am sure your father has better things to do with his time than come here and bother your mother or you." Chakotay tired to console and comfort him.

"Cha I hope you are right." Leaning into Chakotay's embrace he shuddered at the idea of his father coming here and ruining his life. 
"We will just wait and see what happens. As you said it could be at least four days before this Robert Atwell contacts your father it could be longer." 

   The four adults talked for a while trying to calm Tom down. 
Finally Chakotay took him home and had him lay down. Tom fell asleep almost immediately he was exhausted emotionally. He didn't want to lose Chakotay but he knew his father too well and when his father found out he was living with a man and that man was his lover all hell would break loose. 

    Chakotay meanwhile contacted Kathryn to let her know that there 
just might be trouble from the admiral. He also contacted Neelix and 
told him that there may be a need for him to send some information in the next week or so. Neelix said he would be ready then he and 
Chakotay caught up on things. Neelix was going to be a father in 7 
months he was very excited. Chakotay told him that he and Tom were 
together and Neelix couldn't have been happier. He was glad that both Chakotay and Tom were finally with the one they were supposed to be 

     They signed off with a promise to speak again soon. Chakotay got 
Miral from Khola and brought her home. He fed her and bathed her. 
They played for a while and then she showed signed of sleepiness so 
he took her to her room and sat in the rocking chair that was 
B'Elanna's and rocked her to sleep singing her an old Native American 
lullaby. When she was finally asleep he placed her in her crib and 
turning off the lights he left the room.

  While Chakotay showered he prayed that the admiral did not cause 
any trouble he really didn't want to have to use the information he 
had. He knew it would hurt both Tom and Miriam far too much. But he 
had promised the man that if he messed with either of them he would 
pay. He believed that the admiral was going to end up calling him on 

  The best he could hope for was to warn Tom that things would come 
out about his father that could be quite devastating. Chakotay prayed 
that Tom would be able to handle. Although he knew that he would be 
there for Tom no matter how long it took him to get passed it.


  It turned out the predicted four days ended up to be fourteen. 
Wilco came to Tom when he was done with a pick up run fourteen days after he saw Robert Atwell. He told him that there was a Starfleet 
communiqué requesting an update on him. Supposedly verifying that he was working there.

 The communiqué stated that Starfleet required an address to send him his pension and deposit from the house he had rented through them. Tom knew it came from his father because he had already received the deposit when he turned over the key and the final departure document.  His pension was supposed to be place in trust for Miral along with B'Elanna's. He didn't want anything from them but believe his daughter had a right to be compensated for the loss of her mother in the years to come. He thanked Wilco for letting him know and told him to send whatever Starfleet requested. 

    Arriving home he told Chakotay what Wilco told him. Chakotay knew about the deposit and the pensions, he agreed that the admiral was 
taking the back way in to find his ex-wife and estranged son. The 
next move was the admiral's but Chakotay would be ready. His move 
came three days later by way of a Starfleet vessel.

   Tom and Miriam were served with papers claiming alienation of 
affection and breach of contract. Evidently in some old papers the 
admiral had there was a claim that if Tom was to retire from 
Starfleet before he reached age sixty he was required to repay the 
admiral for the special training he received for his flight schooling 
while in high school. Tom had forgotten about the agreement and so 
had Miriam. 

  A Demand was made that payment was to be rendered in full with two days or Tom would be arrested. As for the alienation of affection 
Miriam was required to return to earth with Miral in two weeks time 
and stay for two months so the admiral could spend "quality" time 
with his granddaughter. Tom was screaming at that point.

"Who the fuck is he trying to kid? Quality time with a child? Not as long as there is breath in that bastard's body! He wouldn't know how to spend quality time with anyone under the age of thirty and even then it would a rough call."  Chakotay took hold of him.

"Tom remember that Miral is my daughter also now. I can refuse the visitation without any repercussions on either of you." 

"Cha he will find away around it. You know that and I know that."

"Trust me Tom, he can try but that is all he can do. He will find he has no power over me. Nor can he force me to turn my daughter over to him. We will fight the repayment demand. I have a friend in Starfleet legal that will help us. You were underage at the time I don't believe any court will hold you to that agreement."

"Let's hope you are right Cha because if I know my father and I do, I will be spending the next 2 years if not more in prison. I don't have the credits he is demanding."

"Tom I will give them to you. I have it and than some." 

Miriam was kneeling in front of her son. "We will not let him win."
After saying good night Miriam and Maria took Miral with them and 
left. Chakotay sat with Tom in his arms for a long time. Whispering 
words of encouragement and love to him. When finally it seemed that 
Tom was ready to go to sleep, Chakotay helped him into bed and 
covered him up. Kissing him good night he turned off the light and 
left the room.