See introduction for disclaimer, pairings and author
notes.
 

Reaffirmation:

Back at Tom's, he and Chakotay settled down for
dinner.  He couldn't help but be impressed for the
fact that the Talaxian remembered his favorite foods.
Before him was a feast fit for a king, or a very
hungry vegetarian. Then he noticed that there was no
meat at all on the table. 

"Tom?"

"Yeah, Chakotay?"

"Where's the animal flesh you love so much," he asked
jokingly?

"Oh. I haven't eaten meat in three years," he
answered sheepishly.

"Why not?"

"Because... well... I found that I had more energy if
I stuck to a vegetarian diet," he stated.

"I see. You know, I could've told you that myself,
years ago," Chakotay responded with a smile.

"Yeah, but, I probably wouldn't have listened at the
time. You know me, I have to figure things out
myself."

With no answer forthcoming from that statement,
Chakotay just nodded his acceptance and began eating.
Everything was wonderful, Neelix had really outdone
himself this time.  As they ate, the two men talked on
safe subjects, mostly Chakotay inquired about Miral
and her schooling. Wanting to know if she was fairing
better than her mother had as a child. Being part
Klingon could be quite difficult to deal with when
surrounded by humans.  

"I think Miral is doing better, mostly because of who
her father is. The kids have seemed to accept her and
are friendly. Although, like I said, most of them are
looking for an invitation to come home with her, so
they can meet me."

"I can't believe that she hasn't made any friends
just because she is who *she* is." Chakotay couldn't
believe that there was no one who would see Miral for
the wonderful person she was. 

"Oh, no. There's one girl who doesn't seem to give a
damn know I am. She truly is interested in what Miral
says and does," Tom said with a smile. 

"Good." Chakotay pushed his plate away from in front
of him. "So, what's on the agenda for the rest of the
evening?"

"Well, I thought we'd go for a walk. You haven't seen
the view of the city lit up at night. I want to show
you that," Tom answered.

"All right. I'm ready whenever you are."

"Let's go then," Tom said as he stood. He went to the
kitchen door, opened it and called to Neelix. "Hey,
Neelix? Chakotay and I are going out to watch the
lights. You going to be okay cleaning up?"

Neelix came through the door, "Of course, Tom. Did
you enjoy dinner, Commander?"

Chakotay laughed at the Taxalian's use of his old
title. "Neelix, please call me Chakotay, it's been far
too long since I was a commander. And yes, dinner was
wonderful. Thank you."

"You're welcome, Chakotay," Neelix said emphasizing
the name. "It was my pleasure. Tom here eats a rather
mundane regiment for foods. It was fun to expand my
cooking, even if it's for one night."

"Hey, I'm sorry if I bore you with my eating habits,"
Tom said trying to said hurt, but failing miserably. 
The other two laughed at him.

"Well, you two enjoy your evening. I'll make sure
Miral is all tucked in, don't you worry."

"Thanks, Neelix. See you later," Tom said, as he took
Chakotay's hand, led him out of the dining room and
out the back door.

They walked slowly across the grounds, talking
quietly about nothing special. When they reached the
end of Tom's property, Chakotay was truly amazed at
the view. Below him and for as far as the eye could
see was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever
seen. Sparkling lights covered the land, called out to
him, as if to say 'Come on down and join us'. He was
sure there were people going places and doing things,
but there was no noise to validate that thought. 

"Tom, this is breathtaking. Thank you for sharing it
with me," Chakotay spoke softly, almost as if he was
afraid to crack the silent beauty. 
 

"You're welcome, Chak." Tom stepped up behind him and
circled the older man's waist with his arms. When he
leaned down to kiss the smooth skin of Chakotay's
neck, a finger placed on his lips stopped him.

"Tom, I..." Chakotay hesitated for a second. "As much
as I would like to explore a renewed relationship with
you, I don't think this is the right time."

"Why?"

"I'm your bodyguard. Getting involved with you on an
intimate level is *not* a good idea right now."

Tom turned the dark-haired man so they were facing
each other. "Chakotay, you can't really believe that
becoming involved with me is wrong."

"No. It's not that. Let me explain it this way,"
Chakotay said as he pulled out of Tom's arms. Sitting
down on the ground, he patted the spot next to him, an
unspoken invitation. Tom accepted and with a grace
only the former pilot could pull off he seated
himself. "When Rose and I became involved, my
objectivity was skewed. I became overprotective, to
the point of almost being possessive. It drove her
*and* me crazy.So I backed off a bit. In the process,
I lost sight of my job. When Rose told me about the
baby, the only thing that mattered was making her my
wife. I won't say that I could have stopped her death.
But part of me felt, for a time, that if I had been,
it might not have happened." 

Chakotay stopped and ran his hand through his hair.
How to explain this, without sounding like it was
Greg's fault. "Generally, I alternated the way we
traveled to the studio. A few days before, I had found
yet another round about way to get there. See, Neil
would sometimes follow us. But only after we had
traveled the same way a couple of times. It was as if
he had to 'find' us again. 

"When I called Greg that morning. Neil had followed us
two days earlier. So, it was time to change. I forgot
to tell Greg *and* the driver about it. I was so
caught up in being happy, I didn't do my job and Rose
died because of it," he finished with a deep intake of
breath. The pain was back, the self-recrimination,
even some self-doubt. 

Tom was silent for a few minutes. He listened to the
bodyguard tell his story, he watched the pain and hurt
wash over the other man's face. He did understand,
more than Chakotay knew. 

"So, what you're saying is, until you find this
madman, we need to wait before going any further?"

"Yes, it's not you. It's me. I feel that if I become
involved with you, now, I won't be able to do what you
hired me for. I will fail you and myself. I can't let
that happen," Chakotay answered in a hushed voice. He
lifted his hand and brushed the side of the blond
man's face. Tom leaned into the hand, turned and
placed a gentle kiss on the palm. 

"I understand, Chak. I can wait, as long as you
promise to find this bastard soon," Tom smiled and
winked. 

"Oh, believe me, I *will* find him or her soon
enough. They are bound to make a mistake. The sick
ones always do."

"Okay, then our real date is set up for the first
night after we see the fucker in jail."

"You're on. Now, let's talk about this benefit
concert you are doing in Florida. Tell me all about
how you got involved with it."

Tom began his tale of how he became aware of the need
for money to help orphaned children. He had been
surprised there were still so many, left over from the
war with the Dominion. They talked well into the
night, Tom explaining everything in great detail. The
conversation switched to how he begun his career and
how he convinced so many to join his staff. They
laughed and joked, mostly at the expense of Tom's
employees. They finally decided at about 0100 hours
that it was time to go to bed. Tomorrow was another
busy day at Paris Enterprises. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tom laid in his bed, thinking about his evening with
Chakotay. He really had hoped they would've renewed
their intimate relationship, but he did understand how
the other man felt. Talking to his former lover about
his life since returned to the Alpha Quadrant felt a
lot like a healing. Okay, maybe a particle healing. He
couldn't admit to Chakotay that he jumped in feet
first because he was unhappy. How could he tell the
big guy that his life was miserable with B'Elanna
almost from the minute they said 'I do'?  He realized
what a huge mistake he had made marrying her. But
pride kept getting in the way. 

The only truly happy event was the birth of Miral.
Having a daughter gave Tom a sense of purpose.
Returning to the Alpha Quadrant and a 'regular life',
caused an even greater strain on the Paris marriage.
B'Elanna wasn't adjusting to life on earth well, and
Tom couldn't handle the increasing violent nature of
their relationship. It became almost routine: B'Elanna
would get frustrated, a fight would ensue, then
make-up sex, with what Tom considered growing sadist
tendencies. 

Finally, Tom had enough. A year after they had
returned home, he divorced B'Elanna. He had become
involved with some musicians about six months prior to
his decision. Being away from home, as much as he was,
helped him think about his choices and made him
realize that he couldn't continue with the charade any
longer. After that mess was over he divided his time
between making his career work, and spending all his
spare time with Miral. When B'Elanna died, Tom felt
terrible. Mostly because, he had forced her to stay on
earth, when she wanted to go to Utopia Prime to work.
If she had been working there, instead of at the
engineering facility in San Francisco, she wouldn't
have been on that transport. 

Once again using the only outlet he had, Tom drove
himself to be the best in the business. It worked.
When the news of Rose's death came, Tom was taken
aback but the overwhelming need to be with his former
lover. The desire to be the other man's stronghold
slapped him hard. At the funeral Chakotay was barely
holding on. Yet when Tom approached him, he rejected
him outright. That hurt more than Tom was willing to
admit at the time. 

When he returned home, Tom realized that it wasn't
truly rejection on Chakotay's part. It was more likely
to be refusal to accept the ending of a life that
meant so much to him. Coming so closely on the heels
of the loss of his 'little sister'. The singer in Tom
took over for the better part of a year. In that year,
his career skyrocketed to a point that he was almost
lost himself. When he called a halt to the craziness
for a brief time, he found himself in the mist of a
full-blown case of 'examining his feelings'. Something
he hated to do more than having a conversation with
his father. 

Tom recognized all the symptoms: the wondering, the
anticipating, and the frustration. All directly
connected to a certain dark-haired, strong, silent
man. Had he really been working so hard at his career
to make his former lover notice him again? Tom found
that the answer was indeed, 'yes'. The technique was
different from the last attempt, but the desired
outcome was the same.  The realization that it wasn't
working pissed him off. No word at all from Chakotay:
nothing that said he even knew Tom was still alive.

After that revelation Tom just got pissed and decided
'fuck him and the horse he rode in on'.  For the
better half of two years, Tom didn't bother to think
about the ex-Maquis captain who stole his heart, much.
Then one day he woke up to the fact that he required
Chakotay's help. Now *that* was rough. But a small
part of him was quite pleased, until they met face to
face. The minute Tom looked at the other man, he could
see the old disgust back on Chakotay's face. Well,
again 'fuck him running'.

That attitude was lost quickly, the second Tom
realized that Chakotay had made far too many valid
points. So, he swallowed a bit and asked for help. The
request was granted, although Tom was sure it was with
a great deal of hesitation and a little prodding from
Kathryn. Within only a couple of days, Tom realized
that he never stopped loving Chakotay and so truly
pleased to find that the other man seem to be once
again comfortable around him. 

Declaring his love for his bodyguard was not his
intention this evening. Well, not exactly, Tom wanted
Chakotay to know how he felt. He just hadn't been
planning on blurting it out like he did. But once he
had, it felt like the world had been lifted off his
shoulders. Again, the idea of tonight being a healing
evening came to mind. Tom's next order of business was
to help Chakotay heal from the loss of Rose and their
child. His new goal set, Tom allowed himself to drift
off to sleep.
 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*
 
     Arriving in Palm Beach a day ahead of schedule,
Tom and half of his staff checked into the hotel. 
Neelix was staying behind to take care of Miral, Nick
was with them. There was still a possibility that the
lunatic would follow Ray's example and try to kidnap
the little girl.  By Chakotay's request, the other
half of the staff didn't know of the change in plans.
Tom still had a problem with thinking that someone
close to him wanted to hurt him, but he bowed to
Chakotay's expertise. 

Once they were all settled in, Chakotay decided to
walk the route that Tom would be using the following
evening. He would make sure there was no hidden areas,
no place for a person to hide. He did his job
thoroughly. When he returned to the suite two hours
later, it was empty. Ken wasn't even outside the door,
where Chakotay had left him. 

Just as he worked himself into a good rage, Tom, Greg
and Harry came busting through the door laughing.
"Where the fuck have you been," he bellowed?

The trio stood stunned for a moment. Then Tom shook
himself out of the daze. 
"Relax, Chakotay. We went exploring, nothing more."

"You should have told me you planned on going out,"
he growled.

"Chak, I decided after you left. Besides Greg was
with me, and we didn't go far. You have to give me
some room to breathe, you know." Tom's voice held a
light tone he wanted to calm his lover and bodyguard
down.

Greg stepped forward, "Boss, I didn't think it'd be a
problem. I'm sorry."

Chakotay wanted to curse them all, didn't they
understand? Why didn't they get it? He wasn't going to
lose someone else because they were off somewhere
without *him*. Deciding he needed to get out of there
before he banged some heads together, Chakotay stormed
out of the suite, leaving behind three very confused
men. 

He found Kathryn and Ken in the lounge of the hotel.
Chakotay stormed over to them. Someone needed to have
their head handed to them and Ken was just elected.
Stopping directly in front of his employee.

"What the hell are you doing here, when your ass is
supposed to be sitting outside the suite," he roared.
Causing both Ken and Kathryn to jump.

"I... umm... Tom had gone out with Harry and Greg.
Kathryn invited me to have lunch with her," Ken
answered weakly. He didn't think he'd ever seen his
boss this angry. Even back during their Maquis days
together. Not even when he reminded him of Maquis
discipline when they were first stranded. "I'm sorry,
boss." 

"Yeah, well. You shouldn't have left. Anyone could
have gotten into that room and been waiting for Tom's
return." Chakotay then turned to Kathryn. "When these
shows are done, so am I. I'm through playing the
games. No one but me is taking these threats seriously
and I refuse to continue being the one that ends up
not sleeping at night. Fuck all of you." 

"Chakotay...." Kathryn spoke quietly.

"No, don't tell me to calm down. Don't tell me I'm
over reacting. I've had enough loss in my life over
the past number of years to last anyone an eternity."
He turned back to Ken. "Sorry won't save Tom if he
ends up on the wrong side of a box with a bomb in it,
like Harry. Or how about a phaser, is sorry going to
help him out there? Here's a better one: A handgun. A
fucking antiquated handgun, that isn't suppose be to
in existence anymore. You going to help him with sorry
then?"

"Chakotay, calm...." Again Kathryn tried to interrupt
him.

"I told you not to get me involved with this whole
mess. I warned you. I was too fucking close. Did you
listen? Of course not, you always thought you knew
better then everyone else what they should and
shouldn't do. Well you were way wrong here! And I was
wrong for not listening to my own gut.

"I'm the only one who seems the least bit concerned
that there's a madman out there somewhere. Waiting to
take the last thing in my life that gives me any
reason to live.  I've already lost not one but three.
count them three people who were my...." He suddenly
stopped something that had been nagging him for a
while came back in full force. He sat down hard in the
chair next to Ken.

Ken and Kathryn, still stunned from his outburst,
became equally unnerved by his complete and utter
silence. Kathryn became worried quickly, there was
something in her former First Officer's eyes she
didn't like. "Chakotay?" No answer. "Chakotay, are you
all right?"

"Boss, what's wrong," Ken put a hand on the other
man's shoulder and shook him a bit. That seemed to
snap him out of his trance. 

"Ken, that's it! It's not Tom, it's me," Chakotay
blurted out. 

"What? What are you talking about? It's you," Ken
asked more confused than he was a moment ago.

"Since we got back, I've lost three people who were
very close to me. First, B'Elanna then Rose and the
baby. Now, someone is trying to kill Tom. Why didn't I
see this earlier? Why didn't it all fall together from
the first?"

"Chakotay, what the hell are you talking about?
B'Elanna died in a transport accident," Ken said.

"Yes, an accident no one could explain. There was no
explanation for how a perfectly running, recently
inspected transport suddenly had faulty wiring and
blew up," he reasoned.

"Rose was killed by her ex-boyfriend," Kathryn
interjected.

"Yes, but until that morning, he never showed signs
of wanting to do more than harass her. At his trial,
he said he was her owner. If he had thought that all
along, he would have killed her sooner. No, he killed
her because he found out she was with me. Neil said
she didn't deserve to live if she was going to bring
that Maquis scum's offspring into the world. No one
knew she was pregnant, no one except for her, Greg her
doctor and myself. That information was never
released, at my request," Chakotay let out a heavy
sigh. 

"Chakotay I still don't see the connection," Ken
offered. "You and Tom weren't together when he started
getting harassed."

"No. But if someone found out about our relationship
on Voyager, they could use him to come after me. If
they have any idea about the type of person that I am,
they'd know that even though we aren't together, I'd
still feel quite protective of him. If they are out to
cause *me* pain, Tom would be at the top of the list."

"But you would feel the pain and loss of anyone of
your old crew," Kathryn said.

"Yes, that's true but more so if it was someone I'd
been intimate with," Chakotay answered slowly. There
were so many things running through his head right
now, that he wasn't sure which to act on first. Then
he was hit with an imagine that gave him his answer.
"I have to get Tom out of here, now. The concerts have
to be cancelled."

"Chakotay, the money, the kids," Kathryn argued.

"I don't give a damn Kathryn, I'll pay for the loss
of money. I'll donate everything I have to those kids,
if necessary, but Tom is *not* performing. NO
argument." He turned to Ken, "I want you to contact
the transport company. I want the name of the person
who inspected that transport." Back to Kathryn, "Call
whomever you need to, to cancel the concerts. Then I
need you to contact Rose's doctor, I want a list of
all the employees who worked for him at the time of
Rose's death."

"What are you going to tell Tom," Kathryn asked?

"The truth. That I'm not losing someone else I love
to a maniac, and we are going somewhere that no one
can find us. Until I can figure out who's killing
everyone in my life." Chakotay got up and stalked back
to the lift. 

"Kathryn, do you think he's right," Ken whispered?

"I don't know. There were and probably still are a
number of people who weren't happy that the Maquis
'didn't get what they deserved'," she offered. 

"Yeah, that I know, but why Chakotay?"

"I don't know. But something tells me that whoever it
is has just made themselves a fierce enemy." Kathryn
stood, waited for Ken to do the same and off they went
to pack and leave.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Chakotay went back to the suite and found the trio
sitting, talking quietly. When they heard the door
slam shut, Tom jumped up. "Chak, I'm sorry. Really. I
didn't mean to upset you. I didn't you'd get so mad
because Greg was with me."

"It's over. Go pack, we're leaving," Chakotay
announced.

"What leaving? I can't leave, the concerts," Tom
snapped.

"The concerts are being cancelled, as we speak. I'll
be returning all ticket monies to the purchasers. The
children will still get their money. We are leaving,
this is *not* open for debate," the older man growled.

"What's going on?"

"You're not safe and I can't protect you here. We are
going somewhere safe for the time being." Chakotay
turned to Greg. "Get my brother on the comm. Tell him,
'code green', he'll understand. You and Harry can come
with us if you like. As a matter of fact that might be
a very good idea," he ordered.

"Chakotay, what in hell is going on," Tom demanded?

"I'm saving your life. Yours and mine. I'll explain
on the way," he inhaled sharply. "Please, just do as I
ask, Tom," the whisper barely heard by anyone but Tom.

The blond nodded his understanding, grabbed Harry and
dragged him off to the bedroom. Greg stood for a
minute longer. "Chief, you going to tell me what's
going on," he spoke in a hushed tone?

"Whoever this person is, isn't really after Tom, as
much as they are out to get me. Trying to get to me
through people I care about," Chakotay whispered back,
as he ran his hand through his hair. "I'll explain my
theory to the three of you, when we get the hell out
of here." With that said, Chakotay turned and went to
pack himself. 
 
 

TBC