Title: Never Leave Me
Archive: TPD, Cha_Club, my site
Disclaimer: The boys belong to the almighty Paramount. I'm just
borrowing them and I'll return them when I'm done playing. I'm not
making any money on this, I'm just having fun.
Never Leave Me
Tom sat in his quarters thinking about his favorite subject, Com-
mander Chakotay, First Officer of the Federation Starship Voyager.
He pictured Chakotay's face; the deep dark eyes, the lush mouth
and that beautiful tattoo. Gods, he wanted to trace that tattoo, just
once. He hungered to taste that soft-looking mouth; drown in the
Then there was his body, with the solid chest and strong arms.
Tom's idea of heaven was to be encircled in those arms and held
tightly to that chest, as he rested his head on Chakotay's broad
shoulder. He knew instinctively that he would be safe in the other
man's strong embrace.
He also knew that it would never happen; that it was an impossible
dream. He had quite a few of those, all of them involving the gor-
geous First Officer. Hell, he dreamed about him every night. He
woke up most nights with a raging hard-on, and Chakotay's name
on his lips as he came.
The few nights this didn't happen were the nights when he had the
incredibly romantic dreams about Chakotay. These were the kind
that didn't involve sex, and that happened rarely, because contrary
to what the rumors said, he hadn't been involved with anyone on
Voyager. In fact, he'd been celibate since the first time he saw the
His celibacy was the reason for all his erotic dreams. That, and the
breathtakingly beautiful Commander.
Tom remembered the first time he met Chakotay. His heart had
skipped a beat and his breath had caught in his throat. He'd had
trouble believing that anyone that beautiful existed. When Chako-
tay had started speaking, Tom had had trouble concentrating on the
words, distracted by the soft voice.
After listening for about five minutes to Chakotay as he talked
about the Maquis, Tom knew that he had lost his heart. There was
no hope of ever getting it back. He also knew that he would go to
Hell and back if the Maquis warrior asked him to. It scared the hell
out of him, so the Paris Defense Mechanism kicked in. He smirked
and made a smart-ass remark.
Chakotay's eyes flashed with anger and the soft voice turned hard
and cold. Something twisted in Tom's heart and he decided that he
didn't like having Chakotay angry with him. Nope, he didn't like it
one bit. Not in the Maquis, and not now.
The door chime startled Tom out of his thoughts. He frowned,
wondering who it could be. Harry and B'Elanna were on a date and
he couldn't imagine anyone else who would visit him. *Only one
way to find out,* he thought and called out, "Enter."
The door opened to reveal the First Officer. Tom rose from the
couch as Chakotay entered his quarters. "Commander!" he ex-
claimed in surprise. "What can I do for you?" he asked, his mask
once again firmly in place, hoping that his feelings for the older
man were not revealed.
Chakotay stopped just inside Tom's quarters and studied the Lieu-
tenant. Noticing the familiar mask on his face, he wondered again
what it hid. "I came to talk to you, Lieutenant, to see if we could
work out some of our differences; get along better. Could we do
that?" he asked.
For a moment Tom's mask almost slipped, then he lifted an eye-
brow and answered, "Well, I don't know if it's possible, but we can
try. Please Commander, have a seat." Tom gestured to a chair. "Can
I get you anything?"
Chakotay sat down before answering. "Thank you. And tea would
Tom nodded and went to the replicator, where he placed an order
for a cup of tea for Chakotay, and a cup of coffee for himself. He
picked them up carefully and walked back over to the older man.
After handing him the tea, Tom sat down on the couch again and
said, "Since we're going to try resolving some of our differences,
Commander, you might as well call me Tom."
Chakotay nodded. "All right, Tom. Call me Chakotay." He stopped,
suddenly unsure of what to say to the blond on the couch. He
sipped his tea, trying to gather his thoughts. Then he looked over at
Tom and forgot what he had been about to say. Tom appeared to be
deep in thought and had a very sad and vulnerable expression on
his face. Chakotay's heart contracted painfully at the man's beauty.
Keeping his tone very soft, he asked, "Tom? What's wrong?"
Tom started at the Commander's soft voice. He'd been thinking
about how gorgeous Chakotay looked in his off-duty clothes. He
was wearing black trousers and a red shirt, which made him look
good enough to eat. Tom had been trying to control his breathing
and his feelings, unwilling to embarrass Chakotay, and himself, by
accidentally blurt out something... inappropriate. Like how he felt
about him. Tom couldn't face Chakotay's rejection of him. Oh, he
knew that Chakotay would be gentle, but it would still be a rejec-
tion, and that would surely break his heart.
Tom blinked, remembering Chakotay's question and answered,
"Nothing's wrong Comm… Chakotay. I was just thinking about
"What were you thinking about that made you look so sad?" Cha-
kotay asked softly.
"You," Tom muttered under his breath. "It doesn't matter," he said
to the man across from him.
"It obviously matters to you," the Commander said gently. "Maybe
it would help if you talked about it. You know, I won't tell anyone."
Chakotay's voice was sincere.
Tom got up from the couch and walked over to view port, looking
out at the stars without actually seeing them. *Come on, Tommy-
boy. Just tell the Big Man. When he rejects you, at least you can
get on with your life,* Tom thought. He bit his lip, then took a deep
breath and said softly, "Actually, I was thinking about you."
"What about me?" Tom started at the Commander's voice. He had-
n't heard Chakotay get up and come to stand directly behind him.
After a moments silence, Tom answered. "I... need to tell you... that
I..." Tom trailed off, suddenly unable to say the words.
Chakotay put his hands on Tom's shoulders and turned him to face
him. Noticing the bowed head, he lifted one hand and gently
cupped the pilot's chin, raising it so he could see the other man's
face. "You what? Tell me," Chakotay said quietly.
Tom looked into Chakotay's dark eyes, his mouth trembling
slightly. Then he closed his eyes and told him, "I love you." It was
Chakotay inhaled sharply upon hearing the words he had longed
for. "Oh, my love," he breathed just before he brought his lips to
Tom's, kissing him gently, pouring all his love into the kiss.
Tom went absolutely still as Chakotay started kissing him. It didn't
take long, however, before Tom melted into the older man, answer-
ing his kiss with all the passion he had within him.
They only parted when they needed to breathe. Tom looked into
Chakotay's eyes, drowning for a moment in the tenderness he saw
reflected there. He lay his head on Chakotay's shoulder, breathing
in deeply the masculine scent of his beloved. He had died and gone
to heaven. He was sure of it.
Then Chakotay's soft voice whispered something in his ear. Words
that almost made his heart burst with happiness.
"I love you, Tom."
Tom burrowed further into Chakotay's arms and Chakotay tight-
ened his hold on him, feeling the pilot tremble at his words.
They stood silently in each other's arms for a moment longer. Then
Chakotay felt something wet against his neck and realized that Tom
was crying. He felt a stab of pain in his heart. "Tom, what's wrong?
Why are you crying, Baby?" he asked worried.
"It's just... I never thought that you could love me. I mean, I've
dreamed about you... about us… but I never really thought that
those dreams were possible. I'm afraid that this is just another
dream; that I'm going to wake up any minute now and find I'm
alone in my bed."
"This isn't a dream, Baby. I promise I'm real. I'm really here. I love
you, more than anything in the universe." Chakotay brought Tom's
face up to his and looked at the younger man, letting all the love
and passion he felt for him show in his dark eyes.
Tom moaned, overwhelmed by the depth of the love he saw in
Chakotay's eyes. He leaned closer, brushing the older man's lips
with his own in a sensual caress. This went on for a few moments
until Chakotay groaned and deepened the kiss.
When he felt Chakotay's tongue against his lips, Tom sighed and
opened his mouth. He allowed the other man access inside, eagerly
sucking on the sweet invader.
The kiss went on and on, but finally Tom broke away. He tried to
quiet his burning lungs before looking into dilated brown eyes with
his equally dilated blue ones. He gazed into Chakotay's eyes for a
moment and then whispered, "Make love to me."
Chakotay's eyes darkened even further. "Are you sure?" he asked in
a husky whisper.
"Oh yes, I'm sure," Tom answered.
Chakotay groaned and kissed him before dragging Tom to the bed-
Once they were in the bedroom, Chakotay began gently undressing
Tom, kissing the flesh as it was revealed, but bypassing Tom's
erection. When Tom was completely naked, Chakotay took a step
back to admire the pale body before him.
His eyes traveled from the chest, sprinkled with fine hair, down
over the abdomen. His gaze lingered on Tom's erection for a mo-
ment before sliding down to look at the strong legs and the delicate
When Chakotay was finished, for the moment, admiring his young
lover, he stepped back to Tom. Dropping to his knees, and without
warning, he closed his mouth around Tom's rock-hard cock. Relax-
ing his throat, he took it all the way in.
Tom moaned and let his head fall back when he felt the wet heat
engulfing his cock. Then he moaned louder as Chakotay began a
strong suction, letting his tongue swirl around the head and gently
scraping with his teeth.
Chakotay took him right to the edge and then let him linger there
for a moment before sucking hard, making Tom scream his name
as he came.
Chakotay continued sucking Tom until the young man pulled back
in a flash of self-preservation. Then he rose to his feet and pulled
Tom into his strong arms, kissing him softly.
When Tom had recovered, Chakotay laid him on the bed, then
stepped back and began a slow striptease. Tom laid on the bed
watching Chakotay's sensual movements, and to his utter astonish-
ment felt himself getting hard again.
When Chakotay had removed all his clothing except his briefs, he
glanced away from Tom's beautiful blue eyes to the rest of his
body. He smiled seductively when he noticed Tom's renewed hard-
on, then shifted his gaze back to Tom's and watched him as he
slowly removed his briefs. Once he was completely naked, he stood
still for a few moments, letting Tom look at him.
Tom's heart skipped a beat as he took in the Commander's naked
and aroused body. His eyes made the same journey as Chakotay's
had earlier. Starting with the smooth chest with the dark nipples, he
let his eyes slide over the abdomen to rest on the older man's erec-
tion. At the sight of the big cock, Tom smiled wickedly and shifted
his gaze to Chakotay's eyes before saying, "Gods Chakotay, now I
know why they call you Big Man. You're big all over."
Chakotay laughed, moving to the bed so he could lie down beside
Tom turned towards his lover with a soft, seductive smile, "Let me
make love to you?" he asked huskily.
Chakotay nodded, his ability to speak temporarily eluding him
when he saw the completely adoring expression in Tom's eyes.
Tom pounced, bending down and kissing his lover very passion-
ately, taking Chakotay's breath away.
Tom broke the kiss and moved up to trace his lover's tattoo with
his tongue, committing every detail to memory. Then he moved
back down to Chakotay's lips, kissing him again before moving
further down to the smooth chest. Planting small kisses all over that
chest, Tom then moved to one nipple. After sucking and licking on
the tiny nub until it was a hard pebble, he blew on it before moving
to give the other the same attention.
Chakotay moaned and gasped in pleasure as Tom paid homage to
his body. By the time Tom got to his erection, he was incoherent
with pleasure. Tom only gave his cock a quick kiss, though, before
moving to his thighs and further down.
When Tom sucked one of Chakotay's big toes into his mouth, the
older man jerked in surprise. He had never considered his feet as
erogenous zones, but the sensations from Tom's mouth on his toes
went straight to his cock, making him moan. "Baby, *please*..."
Tom looked up from his ministrations and inhaled sharply when he
saw the picture Chakotay made. The older man's face was flushed
with desire. His eyes were so dilated they were almost completely
black. Tom nearly came from that sight alone. Taking a deep
breath, he moved up to lie beside Chakotay, stroking him softly,
"I'm not gonna fuck you, Big Man," he murmured in his ear. He
paused briefly and then added, "I want *you* to fuck *me*. That's
what I've been dreaming about for... Well, ever since the first time I
saw you. I want you inside me the first time we make love.
Chakotay's heart skipped a beat and he groaned at Tom's words.
"Spirits, Baby. Yes."
Then he rolled over and pinned his young lover beneath him. Start-
ing as Tom had, by kissing him passionately, Chakotay soon
moved downwards. He took the same route as Tom, but completely
ignored the aching erection. He soon had Tom moaning incoher-
ently, but he wanted his lover begging, so he moved up from Tom's
feet to suck on his balls and the inner thighs.
Tom was drowning in sensation and when Chakotay moved in be-
tween his legs it didn't take long before he started begging him to
take him. "Chaaa... *Please*... I need you inside me... *Please*...
Fuck me... *Now*."
"Soon, Baby... Soon. I promise," Chakotay soothed before reaching
to the nightstand beside the bed, taking the tube of lubricant he had
spotted earlier. When he'd unscrewed the cap, he squeezed some
onto his fingers, carefully placed one at the opening to Tom's body
and gently slid it into him.
Moving his finger in and out, Chakotay loosened the tight muscle.
He soon added a second finger, and then a third. When he was able
to add a fourth finger, he knew that Tom was ready. Squeezing
some more lube onto his fingers, he coated his erection.
When his cock was thoroughly lubricated, Chakotay put Tom's legs
on his shoulders. Placing the head of his cock at Tom's opening, he
Tom lay on his back, looking up at his lover's face as Chakotay
entered him. He moaned as he felt the other man's heavy cock slide
deeper into him.
Tom wriggled impatiently when Chakotay paused to let him get
used to his bulk. Then he suddenly thrust his hips upward, forcing
the older man's entire length into his body. "*Fuck* me, Cha. I
won't break," he hissed.
"No, but I might," Chakotay answered. Then he obeyed Tom's
command and started moving within him. Tom groaned and moved
to meet his every thrust, forcing him to move harder and faster.
Chakotay wrapped his still-slick hand around Tom's cock, pumping
it in time to his thrusts. Tom arched his back and let out a full-
throated scream of Chakotay's name as he came all over his lover's
hand and his own chest.
Tom's orgasm triggered Chakotay's and he growled as his release
washed over him. Then he collapsed on Tom's chest, trying to keep
some of his weight off of the pilot. Tom put his arms around the
Chakotay's shoulders, holding him gently while they recovered.
Chakotay finally stirred, lifting his head and looking down into
Tom's loving blue eyes. He smiled adoringly down at the man un-
der him, then moved to pull out of him. He stopped when Tom
made a small sound of distress. "Don't leave. Stay as long as you
can. *Please*," Tom pleaded.
Chakotay looked at him. "Aren't I too heavy for you?" he asked.
Tom shook his head. "No, you're perfect."
"All right, but tell me if I get too heavy."
"You won't," Tom said, lifting his head slightly to kiss his lover.
Chakotay lowered his head to Tom's lips.
They lay there in bed, kissing softly and whispering words of love
to each other. Eventually Chakotay's cock slipped out of Tom, and
the young man moaned from the loss.
Chakotay moved off of Tom and drew him into his arms, holding
him lovingly. Tom snuggled into him, feeling safe for the first time
in a very long time, just as he'd known he would. He laid his head
on the Commander's broad shoulder, being held tightly to his chest.
"I love you, Cha," he said, moving his head slightly to look ador-
ingly into the warm brown eyes of his lover.
Chakotay smiled back lovingly, completely infatuated with the
beautiful blond in his arms. "I love you too, Baby."
Tom sighed happily and burrowed deeper into the embrace, a small
smile on his lips as he felt sleep beginning to sneak over him. Just
before he fell asleep he heard his lover speak again.
"You can never leave me, Baby. I can't live without you. I mean it.
You have to promise me that you'll never leave me."
"I promise. I'll never leave you. Not if I have any say in the mat-
ter." Tom hesitated briefly before speaking again. "You must
promise me the same, though. I'm serious. It would kill me if I ever
lost you. I mean it. I would die."
The last thing Tom heard before sleep claimed him was his be-
"I swear. I'll never leave you, Baby. *Never*."