Birthday Wishes

It's someone birthday 



If you have my others feel free if not please ask first.

I don't own the crew nor making any money they belong to the 

crew of Gene Roddenberry, I promise to return them unharmed well not much lol


What a way to start his birthday. His day started as normal as it possibly as could, being stranded out in the Delta Quadrate.To find that his sonic shower blew a fuse and he didn't have enough rations for a shower and to have breakfast, and since he had really wanted to avoid the mess hall he decided to skip breakfast all together. 

He had avoided going to the mess hall and Sandrines and the resort since the arrival of the Helua, hiding out in his favorite Observation lounge or his quarters thinking about the man of his dreams.

Deciding to skip breakfast so he could have his shower and

masturbate to his favorite fantasy involving the man of his dreams.

Now sitting in the briefing room listen to Tuvok drone on about god knows what, he was fuming about the snide remark Brian Howard had made to him on the way to the Bridge, Tom had been lucky that at the next stop, his two best friends, Harry and Ken entered the lift, Brian couldn't back up his claim, he nearly laughed at the glare that Ken had thrown over at Brian, who had pushed himself into a corner of the lift to get as far away as he could from the man.

Slouching in his chair as he tuned out Tuvok's report.Throwing a glance over at the rest of the people in the room, lingering a bit longer than necessary on the First officer, before shifting onto Seven of Nine, who for some reason had moved closer to Chakotay.

Glancing at the man to see what his reaction would be. Nodding as he saw the man frown and blink as she shifted closer towards him once again.

Glancing over at Neelix, who had been sitting next to her, had moved as well away from the table as he could while wrinkling up his nose as he moved away. Wondering what was going on Tom looked at he the rest of the people in the room letting his gaze rest on a Helua named Kuia, who was ignoring everyone else.

Tom thought the Helua as a rude and an arrogant race, but what do they do about it? They had to trade with them for supplies, they were running out on supplies and there weren't any planets in range.

The Helua were under attack by the Yulou when Voyager had come across them. The Yulou left shortly after Voyager arrived leaving a very crippled in their wake. And if you asked Tom, he'd have done the same thing as they did but Tom didn't want to ruin the trade so he just avoided them, not wanting to kick up a fuss. 

The Helua are human-like creatures with pale yellow skin, light blue hair and rose-pink eyes. An enormous sexual appetite, and one extremely annoying habit. Their wandering hands. More than once had Tom removed their hands from his posterior. Kuira, like most of his race, touched what they liked and didn't take "no" for an answer. Tom Paris was not one to turn down sex from other races but Helua just turned his stomach.

Tom glanced about the table till his blue orbs locked onto the Commander's brown ones, he could see the mirth hidden in the depths till they focus on him and turned back to the dull brown again.

Turning his head to hide his hurt and anger, Tom tried to tune back into the meeting, he wasn't concern about why Seven felt that it was necessary to try to crawl into the Commander lap anymore. Once he heard the words 'dismissed' he bolted out of the briefing room and rushed over to his work station.

Ignoring the coming and goings from the bridge to the lift, being right at the front of everyone was sometimes a blessing like today and at other times it was a pain in the ass.

Letting his thoughts drift off, luckily that they were in a dead part of space where he could actually think while flying, it seemed that the helm was the only place he could think in quiet without having his dream man invading his thoughts.

Captain Kathryn Janeway stared at the back of Tom's head wondering what was wrong with the younger man. Ever since the Helua came aboard, he had been hiding out. If she was totally honest Tom hadn't been himself since B'Elanna and Tuvok got together three months ago. They had started dating three days after they had agreed to break up. If she hadn't known better or known Tuvok like she did, she would have thought that they had been seeing each other way long before they broke up. When they had announce th
at they were bonded, she pulled Tuvok aside and asked him if they had been cheating on Tom.

Chuckling at the memory of both of his eye brows crawling up to join his hairline and then more or less stated, that he understood why she asked him but did she think so little of him to do that to another member of the crew? Calmly told her in his Vulcan way, that she was very lucky that she had asked him and not B'Elanna.

Chakotay looked over when he heard her chuckling leaning over the arm of his chair and tapped her on her arm when she didn't hear him, "Captain are you all right?"

Jumping Kathryn turned towards him saying, "Huh? Oh sorry did you say something?" Shaking her head saying, "Just remember the look on Neelix's face during the meeting and the picture of Seven trying to crawl into your lap."

Frowning Chakotay replied, "By the way did you find out what that was about?"

Kathryn turned serious as she nodded, "Unfortunately yes I did and I have to tell you that I don't like it one bit." 

Wondering what she had learnt of the encounter asked, "What was that awful smell?"

"It's the scent the Helua emit when they are ready to mate. Commander Kuia has found a certain blond worthy of "plau" as it is called."

With a sigh Chakotay said his tone dripping with scorn, "Let me guess, Paris?" 

Kathryn scowled at her first officer. The one and only thing she disliked about him was his grudge he held against Tom, even after all these years. Guessing that he had never read the padd she had given him two years ago, or if he did, he didn't believe it.

Chakotay refused to be baited by her. It was a common battle of wits between them. He refused to back down about his feeling concerning the pilot. As far as he was concerned Paris was a traitor of the worse kind and a murderer to boot.Even Paris' own father had disowned him. No, he refuse to change his mind about the blond. It seem that it didn't matter where they were, Tom could find trouble. 

"So what did he do this time?"

Jumping up out of her chair hissing, "My readyroom NOW! Commander." Striding across the bridge saying, "Tuvok, you have the bridge."

"Aye Captain."

Chakotay slowly climbed to his feet, dreading the tongue lashing that was coming his way, all the while glaring at the back of the blond head that sat in front of him. 

As he entered the Captain's domain, he could see the anger flowing through her body as she leant against her desk. Once the door slid shut, she whirled about with her hands on her hips demanding, "What is it with you Commander? Why can't you see that you're in the wrong? You made a mistake about Tom."

"I'm not wrong about that prick, Captain. He betrayed the Maquis."

"Oh get over yourself Chakotay. You forgave Tuvok and Seska for doing exactly the same thing. You want to know something? Tom didn't turn you in or lead us to you. God, Chakotay, he was caught on his first mission. What could he have possibly learned in the two weeks he was with you? I knew you never did trust him and that you told him nothing important. You are blinded by your own hate that you believed all those damned lies. I honestly thought that after you had read the padd I gave you that you might s
tart to get along and begin to like him a bit. I guess I was wrong. You haven't read it, have you?"

When he didn't reply, she sighed, "If you weren't so damn stubborn, you'd know that he was set up. This new information came through with the last message from home. It seemed that Owen became suspicious by a statement he had overheard made by his secretary. He opened all the files that concerned Tom and found a common theme, Tom was used to get back at his father for something he had done to another person, what it was I don't know but Tom didn't file that report concerning Caldik Prime. He was set up wh
ile with you. Can you honestly tell me that while he was with you that he even stepped foot on any of your bases? If there were any raids after he was caught, they were because of Tuvok and Veva, who was with another Marquis's cell, and if you think Tom had it easy while in prison think again. You know another thing? When he was captured he was leading them away from the Crazy Horse."

Kathryn paced back and forth saying, "I got Tom out prison to save his life and nursed him back to health. Before we could set out to find you and no before you ask Tom knew nothing. He had us chasing our tails while in the Bad Lands. He knew nothing and I knew that when I took him on. Did you know that Tom was beaten and raped almost every day he was in prison? They were killing him slowly and then to find out that it was happening out here as well, did you know and turn a blind eye to that Commander?"

Numb with shock, Chakotay slowly shook his head wondering if that had happened while he been on his ship, slowly looking up he asked, "Do you know if it was happening while he on the Crazyhorse?"

Looking over at him, she tried to read his thoughts but all she got was a blank look. Slowly she nodded saying, "Ken told me a bit about the time while Tom was with you. If you need more information you might pay him a visit and talk to him, but I can tell you what he told me." Taking a deep breath Kathryn tried to explain what she knew, "Ken had tried to stop it but yes it did happen while on board. Seska would send men to Tom to beat him or rape him. Ken told me that it all depended on the mood she was 
in as she watched it all. It got worse just before he was captured. It seemed that there was a rumor flying about that you were sleeping with him." Looking over at her first Officer before carrying on, "Did you know that Ken was the only one keeping Tom alive out here? Not even Harry knows of all the things that happened to Tom, since we got out here. Chakotay, I can tell by your face that you knew of them as well." Kathryn spat out the last statement at him with a look of fury tossed in for good measure.

"I knew about the beatings, but I didn't know about the rapes."

"And that makes it fine and dandy does it? You knew of the beatings and did nothing about them."

"No it doesn't and the beatings have stopped."

"Bullshit," Kathryn snapped.

"What do you mean?"

"Because of your attitude, you're sending a message that it's all right to beat him up.That he's fair game to both Fleet and Marquis alike and if this is making you feel like shit, good! It's time to let the past go. You can't change it. Learn from it and move on." 

Feeling somewhat depressed, Chakotay couldn't even meet her eyes as he asked, "May I have the rest of the shift off."

Looking over at him not wanting to be the total heartless bitch but knew that she had to be to get through to him, shook her head, "I'm sorry but no, I can't spare you while we have the Helua on board. I know you need to do some thinking, so I'll let you work the rest of your shift in your office."

Nodding his thanks, stood up and left her office looking like he was about to face the firing squad. Before he got to the door Kathryn called out, "Chakotay one more thing before you leave." She waited till she had his full attention saying, "Owen knows that he made a lot of mistakes with his son, but it's at his insistence that Tom not be told about any of this."

Chakotay tried to keep his temper in check as he calmly said, "Well screw him, and the horse he rode in on. By telling me all this, I now have the pleasure of sorting through the shit and most likely have to sort things out with him as well. And knowing Tom he'll want to know why I have a sudden change of heart about being his friend. I'll be damned if I'll add anymore lies to his already full plate.From what you've just told me it sounds like his whole life was a lie."

Kathryn smiled saying, "I'm glad to hear you say that because I totally agree with you and so does Ken."

Moving back to into the room, Chakotay asked, "That's the second time you've mention Dalby name. What has he got to do with all this?"

Looking snug Kathryn asked, "You didn't know that Ken and Tom were friends?"

"Didn't give it much thought." Chakotay honestly answered.

"Ken and Tom grew up together before his family moved away from earth. Even then Ken was Tom's protector, he looked out for Tom till they moved and he was a firm believer that Tom was innocent of all wrong doing. I know that Ken has a temper and shocked the hell out all of you when he beamed aboard and as soon as he saw Tom he gave Tom a hug. No one knew just how close they were. Tom refused to let others use Ken to get to him, so he stayed as far as he could from both Ken and Harry but between those two 
men, they fought for their friendship and between them, they have both fought most of the ship when Tom was attacked."

Chakotay felt like his whole world was turned upside down in his confusion, he uttered, "How did you know?"

"Oh no I didn't leave you out of the loop if you wish to blame someone for that, blame yourself, I tried telling you but you refused to listen, Ken and Harry even tried to talking to you about it but again you refused, I even handed you a classify file which you refuse to read."

"But. . . ."

"But nothing, Tom doesn't deserve what you're doing to him. Especially after saving your life. He never claimed it or rubbed your face in it. What does he have to do to prove to you that he not the scum you think he is?"

Not sure how to answer that Chakotay closed his eyes trying to regain some control of his mind that was spinning out of control. Then in sudden clarity he asked, "Why tell me now?

With a snort of laugher, "I've been trying to change your mind for awhile now, so it's not sudden on my part,"

Chakotay breathed deeply saying, "But he's going to ask me why. He knows how I feel about him. It's not actually been a secret on my side and he will wonder why now and what changed my mind about him."

"You once loved did you not?"

Shocked that she knew about his love life it was something he had never told her, "Yeah he was my lover before this all happen. But he lied about his last name back then, I knew him as Howard"

Kathryn nodded and asked, "I know, it's his mother's maiden name. So what drew you to him, try and explain it to me, then maybe you might be able to explain it to him."

Chakotay spend ten minutes in deep thought trying to work it out in his head before he could even try answering her, 'What did draw me to Paris in the first place? Importantly what changed my mind about him? Apart from the fact that he lied about his name. Was it the fact that his father was involved in the hand over of Dorvan V to the Cardassian's? Or just the fact that he actually had the nerve to get out prison? Even if it was just for a few days to lead Janeway right to us? Damnit to many questions an
d not enough answers, I need to meditate even before I can try and explain it to her.'

Jolting Chakotay out of his thoughts Kathryn asked, "You don't know do you?"

"No I don't and to be honest with you all this has been a bit much to take in. I need to think about this and meditate on it for awhile."

"Oh and how long will that take?"

Shrugging his shoulders saying, "Who knows how long the spirits takes to sort through all this new information, I have received. As you know it pays not to push them before they are ready to guide you."

Shaking her head at that, it was tempting to cuss at him but she knew that he'll just dig in his heels if she kept at him, instead of saying what was at the tip of her tongue she told him, "Dismissed Commander."


Glad that his shift was over, Tom handed the Conn. over to his relief, not wishing to talk to anyone, he made a bee line right to the lift without saying a word. Calling it and hoping like hell that he'd have it to himself. He had felt eyes on his back all shift, he new that something had happened that shift when the Captain returned back to the bridge without Chakotay. He wondered what had happen. All the bridge crew had heard the Captain yelling bits and pieces then it went quiet. Tom had a fair idea th
at it had concerned him. Harry had sent him a message to his station, after they left the bridge saying that he had overheard his name being mentioned. 

Tom dismissed it, since he was a regular topic in their talks, he knew that Janeway was trying to change Chakotay's mind about him yet again, but Tom knew that hell would freeze over before that would happen. Once Chakotay had made up his mind it would take a miracle to change it or to get him to admit that he was wrong. Tom had witness it before when they had just started their relationship. 

Entering his quarters Tom undid his jacket and threw it towards his only chair in the room, his quarters having be thrashed so many times. He felt that it was a waste of time to get more things for his quarters, just so they could break and destroy them. Having had hidden his most treasured items else where for safely reasons, he didn't want his memories destroyed by the assholes, they were all he had to remember that at one time someone did love him.

Leaning against his wall so he could slide to the floor, bringing his knees up and wrapping his arms about them resting his face on his up raised knees with a sigh, he didn't hear his bedroom door slide open nor the footsteps till it was to late.


Once he had finished his shift Chakotay moved with determination to his quarters. Once there he stripped off his uniform and headed for the shower, so he could wash off the day sweat and relax before going on a vision quest. When he felt relaxed enough, Chakotay gathered up his Medicine bundle. Sitting naked in the middle of his quarters he begun the familiar chant. Finding himself in his clearing only to find his father who looked rather pissed at him.


Holding out his hand to stop his son from saying anymore he barked, "Follow me, Chakotay, and not a word till we get to where we're going."

Mystify at his father actions, he knew not to defy him so he followed behind his father. He knew that he was going to get an earful once they got to where they were going as well an eye opener.

Looking at the back of his father back wondering what the hell was going on, and where was his guide? Why hadn't she greeted him like she always did? And more importantly why did it look like a battle had taken place in his clearing?

Feeling as if he was getting more questions than answers wishing for once he could get his answers in a nutshell but it seemed that he wasn't going to get it the way he wanted. He felt the start of a headache building up right behind his eyes, rubbing his forehead to ease the pain as he followed his father.

Kolopak stopped beside an upturned tree, turning to face his son and pointing downwards, he demanded, "What right have you got to judge him?"

Confusion settled into his overloaded mind. Chakotay wondered who the him was, till he spotted a pale blond figure laying beside his guide with an Eagle perched on a branch screeching.

Looking back up at his father asking, "Who is that?"

"Take a closer look." Was all his father would say.

Moving closer Chakotay knelt beside his guide stoking her head as she licked the wounds on the man arms, nudging the body over, Chakotay scrambling back with a gasped, "Oh my god, Tom!"

Kolopak approached his son asking again, "What right have you got to judge this man? Who has done absolutely nothing to you, apart from being a Paris and it's not your grudge to hold, son, it's the elders. If there ever was one to hold, it's not yours to hold son. You can't judge this man for his father's deeds. Owen Paris has done a great deal of harm to others but it's not Owen who is made to suffer for his deeds it's his son. You'd think that by now they would realize that it doesn't hurt Owen when his
 son is made to pay for his deeds, he'd need to care about his son to feel the hurt or pain,"

Tired of having the blame laid at his feet Chakotay blurted out, "He lied to me and killed three officers and then covered up his mistake."

"And you haven't?"

"I haven't murdered anyone or lied."

"You just lied then, Chakotay, when you lied it was for a cause and you could justify it by saying that it was for the cause and remove any blame from yourself. Tom didn't murder or cover-up anything. You need to listen Chakotay, people have been trying to tell you for awhile now that you were mistaken about Tom." Pausing for a breath Kolopak watched his son as he tried to sort through everything, moving closer and in a calmer voice Kolopak asked, "Son if you knew that Tom was a Paris would you have taken
 him on in the Maquis?"

Chakotay hissed, "Hell no."

"Nether would any of the other cells, that why he used his mother maiden name, Tom needs to fly it's all he ever lived for. You know that Janeway made a good point before, why was it so easy for you to forgive Tuvok, Seska, Jona and Janeway herself than Tom?" Not waiting for his son to answer he jumped in by asking, "Did you know that even in prison the war was still going?"

"No I didn't but what does that have to do with this?"

"I'll tell you, when the Maquis council found out what prison Tom was going to, they ordered the Maquis to hassle him, do as they please but to keep him alive but when the fleeter joined in on the fun it got harder on him, do you know who asked for Tom to be released to Janeway?"

Again he shook his head knowing full well that his father was going to tell him.

"Your mother did," Kolopak nodded as Chakotay's mouth fell open, " I see I have just shocked you by tell you that, but anyhow that is neither here or there, she found out what they were doing and who ordered it, she was so disgusted by that. This innocent man who didn't have a chance in hell from the time he was born was doomed, just because his last name happened to be Paris. She send a message to an old school friend of hers, suggesting that it might be wise to get Tom out of prison. She knew that Tom k
new nothing, she knew that he'd be safe and Janeway would protect him. She also knew that you were safe as well. But she had to get him out of there."

Wide eyed Chakotay stared at his father asking, "And you condone that she did that?"

"Yes I condone it and even applaud her for it, he was innocent son. Get that through your thick head.Thomas Eugene Paris was innocent of any wrong doing. He was a pawn in a very dangerous game. They threw an innocent man into prison. They didn't even check to see if he was really with the Maquis they tried him because he was close to the Badlands, he was heading to a planet that wasn't involved with us. Tom lead them away from you. Both the Cardassian's and fleet, it's was. . . well sort of lucky that Fle
et got him instead of them, if the Cardassians got their hands on him maybe he'd be out of his misery, who knows."

Chakotay shook his head as he tried to make heads or tails out of everything in a monotone he told his father, "This is all mind boggling, I don't know how to sort through all this on my own, I came here to have my questions answered not to be bogged down with anymore," Looking over at his guide and the eagle who hadn't move an inch since he had arrived, "So what do I do about this?"

"You have to seek the truth for yourself, you're still not listening to us, till you are ready to, you're on your own. But I will tell you that even though he been through hell and back, he still loves you."

Jumping to his feet jerking his hand through hair, he demanded, "So I have to do this on my own? You're my guide, so guide me."

"You are angry and will not listen. Until you are ready, you're on your own."

What Chakotay had forgotten is that you never demanded anything from the spirits. Feeling and hearing the real world, Chakotay found himself back in his quarters cursing a blue steak. He usually felt content after a vision quest but not this time. He felt angry. Deciding to pay a visit to the person who bought about his anger, Chakotay threw on some clothes and stormed out of his quarters, heading down the hall to Tom's quarters. 

Not even bothering to announce his present, Chakotay used his override code and entered Paris's domain. Stopping in shock at seeing how empty the quarters looked. There was nothing in the living quarters but a chair that looked like it had seen better days. Turning slowly, when the silence was broken by a moan, he gasped at the vision of the young man from his quest, lying in a pool of blood by the door. Rushing to the pilot's side as he called out, "Computer Medical emergency, two to beam directly to sic


Chakotay felt the familiar tingle as the transporters locked him and materialize in Sickbay calling out, "Computer activate EMH. 

"Please state. . ." Cutting off half way through when he spotted Tom laying on the floor with the Commander kneeling beside him, rushing forward barking, "What happen?" 

"I don't know, I found him like this." 

"Did you protect the scene of the crime Commander?" 

"I didn't have time and didn't stop to think about that." 

"Contact the Captain and Tuvok." 

Not use to the Doctor ordering him about like an untrained ensign, balked, "I'm. . ." 

"Now Commander." Not waiting to see if he was following his orders, called out, "Doctor to Ensign Wildman report to sickbay stat." 

"On my way." 

The Doctor prepped Tom for surgery, while he waited for his backup medic Samantha Wildman. 

Chakotay moved the Doctors office to Comm the Captain and Tuvok. 

Chakotay and Janeway stood watching as Sam and the Doctor fought to save Tom's life. 

"Chakotay what happened? 

Feeling some what overwhelm he felt out of his depth, Taking deep relaxing breaths before even attempting to reply, Feeling a bit more at ease he said, "I don't know, I went there to talk to him, I entered by using my override codes. The first time I entered his quarters to find that it was totally empty of stuff, just a chair and maybe a bed. I'm not sure what caught my attention at first. Then I heard him moaning, that's when I found him by the door. Whoever it was, must have been waiting for him to get
 off duty." 

Without another word, Kathryn tapped her badge saying, "Ayala, Dalby and Kim please report to sickbay." 

Chakotay was impatient for some much needed answers only to be put off again. Fuming quietly while they waited for the others to join them, he begun to pace the Doc's office, throwing glances out at the window, watching as they fought to save the young man, who was still a total mystery to him. Stopping still, he suddenly understood some of what his father and the others had been trying to bash into his thick head. He stilled loved the man, that why it hurt so much. When he saw Tom standing on the bridge,
 he had felt betrayed not the Maquis, but he himself. He felt that Tom had betrayed him. He believe everything that was being said about Tom, because he needed a reason to remain angry at him. It gave Chakotay something else to feel besides hurt. That's why he didn't do anything about his crew. While it was easy to forgive the others, they hadn't personally betrayed him, they betrayed the cause. It was easier to forgive them for that, but a lot harder when if was directed at him personally. That as why it
 hurt so much. Even though Seska had come close when she stole his DNA.


Ken raced through the doors of sickbay, only to skid to a halt at sight of his best friend laying on a bio bed, demanded, "What the hell happened?"

"Ken, that's enough. This is a sickbay not a bar."

Ignoring him, Ken turned and in a calmer tone asked again, "What happened?" 

Kathryn clasped a hand onto his shoulder saying, "That what I was hoping you'd know."

Throwing his arms up in the air saying, "Are you saying what I think you're saying Captain? I certainly hope not, why would you think I'd hurt my best friend?"

"That not want I meant and you know it Ken, it came out wrong. What I meant to say was, have you heard of any crew members making threats against him?"

"No just that twit Brian but he's lost his following after Greg and I paid him that visit the last time."

"Mmm, Brian again, okay who else could it be?" 

Chakotay asked, "Could it be Kuia? You did tell me that he was interested in Tom," 

Ken asked, "Is this Kuia the one who's been hounding Tom since, we rescued that lot?"

By then Greg and Harry joined them Greg asked, "Kuia the one with the wandering hands and a bad odors that lingers long after he's left the room?"

Ken muttered, "Poor Tom, what a way to spend his birthday, in the one place he hates more than anything."

Kathryn slapped her forehead, "Damn that right, I totally forgot about it." 

Chakotay as dumbly, "It's Tom's birthday?" 

Ken nodded not sure why Chakotay was still here, since he made it clear that he hated Tom with a passion. 

Trying hard not to glare at his Commander Ken asked, "Why would Kuia do this if it was him?" 

Walking in as Ken asked his question Tuvok stated, "It was him or one of his crew, I found traces of DNA that matches their race. I'm guessing that Lieutenant Paris had turned him down one to many time for his liking." 

Ken asked, "So we are talking about rape here ain't we?" 

Filled with dread, Chakotay replied, "He was naked and there was blood everywhere."

Ken asked, "And just what were you doing in Tom's quarters?"

"Not that I need to answer to you Ensign but I was there to try and sort something's out with him."

Greg watched warily asked quietly, "What sort of things?" 

Fighting to keep his anger under control explained, "Today I had some news dropped in my lap and I needed to talk to him and see if we could sort out some of the misunderstandings and try to get on a right footing again." 

"You were never on the right footing, Commander." Greg replied.

"We were once and I'd like to try again, if he's willing."

Ken snorted, "Oh Tom's willing, believe me, for some crazy reason he always stood up for you don't ask me why cuz I would have kicked your sorry ass along time ago."

Chakotay nodded surprising them when he said, "So would have I, Ken."

Kathryn gave him a knowing look saying, "As tempting as that sounds Ken we need him here." 

Chakotay caught the underlying message saying, "The big question is how do I go about it now?"

Greg told him, "You tell him and explain things to Tom. He knows that the Captain had another chat to with you today. Tell him what changed your mind. I'm guessing that you went on a vision quest and your guide really kicked your sorry ass."

Flabbergasted at how close to the truth they were he stuttered, "How. . . . did. . . . you know?" 

"I didn't for sure but I was talking to Tom the other day, he went on a quest himself and met up with what I think may be your guide and his guide and your father, they had a rather interesting talk about a few things." 

"Tom went on a vision quest?" Still reeling from the shock of Tom knowing how to do a quest, that he didn't hear the rest. 

Smirking Ken nodded, "Yup, Tom's been meditating for about six years now, after having a dream about an eagle soaring in the sky and calling his name." 

The Doctor spoke up before Chakotay could say anything else. "Now if you have all finished talking about Tom and wish to know how he doing, please listen up, I'm only going to say this once." Everyone faced the Doctor, once he had their attention he said, "I have confirmed that it was Kuia that raped Tom, he didn't remove his DNA from Tom's body or his quarters, from what Tuvok tells me. I'm not sure what you plan on doing about this crime but I suggest bringing him up on charges of rape and assault, I've
 healed all the physical damage . I also suggest that he sees someone to help him through this trauma. I'd offer my services but we know that he'd dig his heels in with me, so I think Commander Tuvok would be the best one choice here to deal with Tom, since he has more patience." Letting the news sink in,he then said, "Commander he asking for you."


Rolling his eyes as he said, "You are Chakotay are you not?" 

Without another word, Chakotay flew out of the office and to the bio bed where Tom lay, "You asked to see me?" 

"I told your father to go easy on you but I guess he didn't listen to me."

"It doesn't matter, I think after all these years, he know how to deal with me. Now tell me how *do* you feel." 

"Like shit, but I haven't been through an emotional wringer like you have, this must be totally weird for you."

Shaking his head with a smile, why was it that Tom was more worried about others than himself? Smoothing Tom's sweat mattered hair off his forehead saying, "We can talk about me when you're better. Tom, can you remember what happened?"

"Yeah I can, please ask the others to come over and I'll tell you all what I can remember. Cha, Ken didn't give you a hard time did he?"

Leaning down with a two dimple smile saying, "No more than I deserve, don't worry about it Tom, he was just looking out for a friend." Turning Chakotay waved the others over saying, "Tom ready to make a statement and hopefully a complaint."

Tom looked at the group that surrounded his bed saying, "You bet I'm laying a complaint, Kuia was waiting for me and with another, never did catch it's name. Not sure how they got in. They had to be hiding in my room since I didn't see them when I entered. I've been avoiding the Messhall and that, so I wouldn't run into him. Since they had arrived he and some others had been groping me, so I just stopped going there. Yes, I know I should have said something earlier but I didn't. When I over heard Joe and 
some of others, who had complaining about their wandering hands, I didn't think anything of it since it wasn't just me."

Janeway looked over at Tuvok asking, "Why haven't I heard of any of this?"

"It seems that Mister Paris isn't the only not to complain, for this is the first I have heard of this as well. I'll look into it."

"Make sure that you do, I don't want another attack. Dammit I knew they were trouble from the moment I laid eyes on them. If we hadn't need the supplies, I'd have dump their damn asses on the next planet we passed."

Wanting to know when he'd be released of from sickbay, Tom asked, "Doc when can I leave?"

Knowing that Tom was eager to leave the Doctor explained, "I can't let you leave yet Tom, not on your own anyway."

"Fine. I'm sure one of these find people will accompany me home and stay for awhile."

"I'm sure that they would but you're not going to your quarters, they're as bare as the "Old Mother Hubbub's" cupboard, so as much as I hate this, you'll have to stay here in sickbay, unless someone wishes to take you home with them."

Looking about Tom knew that Ken and Harry would offer but he wanted to go home with Chakotay, hoping that the man would get the hint, he stared at him while his head was bent, saying over and over under his breath, 'Please Cha."

Chakotay wanted to be the one, but he wasn't sure if Tom was ready to talk just yet, he felt eyes upon him as he looked over to the hurting man, he saw the plea for him to spring him that he without giving it a thought said, "Tom can stay with me."

Janeway nodded her approval saying, "Well since that's sorted out. Chakotay, consider yourself off-duty. You'll have your hands full." 

"Thanks, Kathryn."

Swinging his legs over the side of the bed, Tom repeated, "Thanks Captain. You're a gem." 

Sliding slowly off the bed, Tom tested everything to make sure the pain was gone and everything worked the way it was meant to. Feeling a twinge of pain as he moved his leg as he looked up and over at the Doc saying, "I'm guessing that I'll be feeling a bit of pain?"

"You presume correct Mister Paris, that is why I didn't want you to be on your own until everything is healed." He explained. Moving over to the Commander and he handed him a bag saying, "Here is everything you'll need, and good luck."

"Good luck?"

With a snort of amusement, he explained, "In keeping Tom entertained. He's a restless person who needs to be on the go all the time and I'm sure you know that he likes to annoy people."

"Hey I resent that, it not my fault you can't take a joke." 

Shaking his head as he walked away, "You are free to leave but I want you back in here the day after tomorrow for a check-up."

"Doc, you just did one."

"My rules. You follow them or you stay right here."

"But "

"I'll make sure he's here, Doctor."

Tom started to protest, "Cha ".

"Orders are orders, Tom." Chakotay grinned.

Nodding Tom moved closer to Chakotay, who was standing off to one side from the others.

Chakotay watched as Tom moved over to him as he stood waiting. He glanced at the others and wondered why no one offered their quarters but one look at Tom's face knocked that thought out of his head, for he could see what they had seen way before he did. For within Tom's eyes shone love and desire, how could he have missed that for so long? "Mentally kicking himself in the butt for wasting so much time by holding onto his anger when he could have had this time for Tom's love.

Licking his lips which had dried suddenly before asking, "You ready?"

With the traditional Paris smirk, replied, "I was born ready Commander."

For once Chakotay didn't feel the anger at his words or looks nodding, Chakotay placed a hand at the small of his and guided him out of sickbay with the others on their heels.


Hours later, Chakotay was sitting at his desk working, while Tom slept in his bed. They knew that after they had to talked, they would never be the same again nor would they be apart again and never to be apart again.

Reading the Padd in his hand, with a grin, nodding at how Tuvok had handled the attack on Tom, along with other complains from the other crew members it seem that Kuia liked to play the field. They had enough to try Kuia and his friend by their standards. Chakotay nodded to himself as he read that Kuia government were going to back them whole heartily and would abide by Voyager's ruling in the matter. 

Since it was normal for them, but they agreed that forcing their ways on to another races, who did things different from them, was a disgrace to them, so the Government of Helua agreed that whatever Voyager deem a fit Punishment for their people on board, they'd carry it out to the letter.

Hearing a noise coming from his room, Chakotay laid the padd down and stood up heading over to the door of his room, leaning again the frame, watching Tom move about slowly taking in the sight of a half naked Tom Paris roaming about his room like he belonged there.

Shocked at the revelation, his mind joyfully rejoiced, 'Tom did belong here.' 

Tom smiled to himself as he felt Chakotay join him saying, "So are you ready to talk?"

Surprised that Tom was willing to open himself so easily. Tom was well known for claming up on a person, if they so much hinted at talking about anything personally.

"Yeah lets go to the other room." Raking his eyes over Tom's naked chest fighting the urge to run his fingers through his chest hair, remembering the feel of them from another time that was long forgotten.

Seeing the desire flare up in Chakotay eyes Tom reached for his robe that somehow ended up draped over the end of the bed, to hide the temptation from him. Tom really wanted to talk to the big man and see if they could work through everything and end up with something at the end of it. Tom knew he loved Chakotay but what he wondered is could Chakotay could move pass the hate and re-learn how to love him. 

Moving out of the room, Chakotay waved Tom over to the couch while he sat in his favorite chair, not wanting to risk sitting next to Tom till they cleared the air between them.

Feeling out of his depth, Tom shifted trying to get comfortable, he begun to tap his fingers onto his knees as the silence stretched out between them.

Hoping to ease the tension in the air by saying, "Tell me what you want out of all this Chakotay?"

Chewing his lip while looking at the tense man before him saying, "I want what we had before, right from the start we had something beautiful, before everything crumbled down around ours ears, before the lies and the hate set in, I wished that none of this happened, that I didn't let our love go and let the anger blind me, to what you had been showing me from the word go."

With a sigh Tom told him, "It wasn't all your fault, others had a major part to play in this."

With a sigh Chakotay explained, "But it's not right Tom. I was able to forgive others, even Seska when she stole my DNA and then told me that the child she carried was mine, but did I hold that against her? No I didn't, I forgave her, I also forgave the rest but held on to my anger and with held my forgiveness for you, making you feel worthless when I praised others for a job well done and never saying it to you, even when you risked your life to get me off the stairs on Ocampa. I fought you every step of
 the way. When the others started telling me that I was wrong about you, I still fought, not willing to believe what they had to say. I hate to be wrong and I was so wrong about you. It hurts to admit that it took you nearly dying for me to see what was right under my nose the whole time."

By the time he had finished talking, Tom had moved from his seat to kneel beside him, laying his head on his thigh remembering another time when he sat like that before, he was glad that he had a chance to again.

Rubbing Chakotay calf saying, "I always believed in you and my love for you never died, I still love you, even when you hated me and I hated myself for it, I had hope that my love was enough for me to move on but nothing felt right to me anymore, the closest was with B'Ela but that didn't work either, I always wondered why none of my relationships worked, I now know why none of them worked out like I wanted them to, do you wanna know why?"

Chakotay dreaded the answer for he felt he knew what it was in a monotone, he asked, "Why?" 

Tracing patterns on Chakotay knee saying, "Because of you. You ruined me for others, I ruined all my affairs because they weren't you, I didn't set out to do it intentionally but the end results were always the same, they weren't you."

"I'm sorry, but to be honest and this may sound selfish, but I'm glad that they never worked."

With a snort of amusement Tom moved till he was sitting in Chakotay lap asking, "You wanna know something? I'm glad as well. So what do we do about this now?"

Wrapping his arms about Tom's waist saying, "As much as I would like to fall into bed with you right this minute, it's way to soon. So we take it one day at a time. What do you think?"

Kissing his cheek saying, "Sounds like a plan to me Tay."

With a moan at hearing Tom's shorten version of his name, "God I missed hearing that."

"I missed saying it."

Pressing his lips against Chakotay tattoo sucking the skin lightly, he froze when he heard Chakotay moan, filled with desire.

Pulling back with a grin saying, "Sorry I forgot."

Rubbing Tom's back saying, "It's okay, another thing I forgot and missed, what do you say about braving the mess hall?"

"Sounds like a plan." Hopping off Tay's lap holding out his hand to help him up, "Ally OOPS, uppsy daisies."

Chakotay heaved himself up trying not to fall back down with laughter, "God another thing I missed, I forgot you do that."

Grinning over at him, Tom told him, "You know what I missed the most and no, not the sex, oh shit, I mean I did miss that but to watch you laughing, not just a chuckle but the full belly laugh you do when you find something really funny."

Chakotay nodded as he said, "I missed the sex as well and I'd let you in on a secret, when I jerk off, I think of you when you're withering under me in passion or you pumping your cock into my body and come and then I yell your name when I'd come. I hated that, even when I angry at you, I still needed you. Maybe that was my heart telling me that I still loved you. Tom do you still have that picture?"

Tom nodded he knew which one he was talking about saying, "Yup it's hidden away with the rest of my treasured artifacts."

"I still have my copy as well, when I miss you at nights I'd pull it out and remember the good times."

"You know what else I still have?"

Chakotay knew that Tom still had the promise ring they had given each other, B'Elanna had told him, "I'm pleased that you still kept it Angel." 

Surprised that he knew, he asked, "How did you know, Tay?"

"When you were dating B'Ela, she told me that you still had it and that it was on a chain around your neck."

Digging into his robe, Tom pulled out the chain showing him the ring that dangled on the chain reciting, "For always, The holder of my heart, love Tay."

Spinning the ring about Chakotay watched as it spun about on the chain saying, "You still have it you know?"

"I know and you still have mine. Tay, do you still have yours?" Tom whispered back.

"Yes I still have it, now go and put some clothes on so we can get some food."

Planting a kiss on his lips Tom dashed into the bed room saying, "Tay?"

"Yes Angel?"

"Do you think the crew will mind?"

"I don't care what the crew think, you're mine as I am yours from this day forward and tomorrow we will move you in, that is if you wish to?"

Dashing back to him, Tom threw himself into his arms asking, "What do you mean if I wish to? This is the answer to my birthday wish."

"But even if you live here with me, we'll still take it one day at a time understand?"

"Agreed. One day at a time."

Releasing Tom again Chakotay pushed him back into their room saying, "Finish dressing, Love."


Upon entering the Mess Hall together it grew quite for a moment since the crew had never seen them enter together much less holding hands the clapping started, someone yelled out, "'Bout time guys."

Joining the line both men unable to stop smiling as they listened to everyone start talking again.

Tom nudged Chakotay as Ken waved them over to his table, he was sharing with Harry and Greg.

Moving slowly through the tables to join them, Tom froze as he heard the word "Slut." aimed at him, turning slowly facing the man who uttered the words, before Tom could say anything Ken had darted between them hissing, "Keep quiet you."

"One day your body guard won't be around to protect you but I will be, remember that." 

Ken hustled Tom to his table while Greg hissed, "Is that a threat?"

Without answering, Brian stormed out leaving behind a worried Commander behind.

Moving over to join the others with concerned written over his face, he knew that at this time he didn't have the trust of Tom's friends even though both Greg and Ken were also his friends as well, he had to prove that he really did care about Tom. They both witness them when they first met and entered a relationship and they both knew that Tom had been hurt a lot by himself and others.

Not quite sure how they would handle having him joining them he felt rather insecure. Chakotay slowed down as he neared the table watching them watching him.

Tom understanding how Chakotay felt stood up and moved over to him saying, "Come on, Tay."

Lowering his head as he blushed, "I don't know why I'm acting like this, Angel, but I feel like I'm intruding."

"Never, Love, you are the most welcome person on this ship and you're more than welcome in my life, I hope you know that Tay. I'd welcome you with open arms all the time."

With his eyes filled with delight at hearing it for he did have some doubts, small as they were he couldn't dismiss them. Giving Tom a small smile and a nod to let him know that he understood, Ken decided to give his two friends a helping hand, everyone knew that he was never one to shy away from anything, called out, "Move your ass Capt. or I'll move it for ya."

With a laugh, Tom guided Chakotay over to the chair next to his, once seated Tom placed the hand next to Tay onto his thigh, he felt Chakotay relax under his hand.

Chakotay listened to the others talking while they ate, then the subject he had wanted to talk about came up with Ken asking, "Tom what did Brian say to you in the lift this morning?"

Shrugging Tom glanced about at them saying, "You know the usual making threats, I can't do anything about it till he actually does something but he's all talk at the moment and I'm watching my back."

Chakotay decided to add his comment in by asking, "Tom, how long as he been threatening you, since the last time?"

Thinking for a bit as he tried to remember when it started again, "Now that I think about it, it's started again after the arrival of the Helua and right after they arrived I saw him talking to Kuia."

Then the doubt sweep in with his eyes wide, he asked, "Do you think he's involved?"

Not caring what the others thought about his actions, Chakotay gathered Tom into his arms pulling him off his chair and onto his lap saying, "It a possibility Angel, till this danger is over I'm going to stick to your side like glue," Pulling back Chakotay cupped Tom's face into his hands staring into his eyes saying, "I know you hate it when people try and protect you from harm but that's what I'm going to be doing Angel, whether you like it or not. The others may think that I have no rights to protect y
ou but I'm not letting anyone else hurt you again, if I can possibly help it. I'm not promising that you won't be hurt but I'll try and stop it if I can. It's the best I can promise, as you know that life is a risk and we don't know what around the corner but I'll do the best I can do to keep you safe."

Chakotay nearly missed the words as they were said so faintly that he had to lean in closer, "I know and it the same for me Tay, I won't fight you, well I'll try not to but that all I can promise."

"That all you have to do Angel, all I ask is that you give is your best."

Feeling tired Tom leant his head on Tay's shoulder closing his eyes wearily asking, "Can we go home now?"

Looking down with concern as he noticed the drawn look on Tom's face planting a kiss on to his head saying, "Sure Angel, let just say goodbye to the others."

Chakotay started to open his mouth, when Harry shoo them away saying, 

"We understand, go we'll take care of your trays, all we ask is that you take care of him."

With a smile as he set Tom onto his feet saying, "That's a given and thanks Harry."

Guiding Tom closer to his side as he wrapped an arm about Tom's waist to help him on his feet, as he trembled with exhaustion, guiding his future lover to their quarters. 

Once there Chakotay swept Tom up into his arms.

Protesting as he wrapped his arms about his neck, "What's the idea? I thought we were gonna talk." 

"You're dead on your feet, Angel, and we will, but it can wait till the morning, now we sleep."

Once they were both settled in, Chakotay remembered something Ken had mentioned while in sickbay and he felt that he should have remembered it on his own.

Drawing Tom closer to him saying, "Happy Birthday, Angel, did you get what you wished for?"

With a tired smile Tom told him, "I got more than I wished for, I got you back into my arms where you belong. Welcome home Tay."

With a sigh of relief Chakotay snuggled into Tom saying, "Thanks Angel, I feel like I'm home now, really home."

"You are home for real."

"But it's your birthday and you didn't get a present."

"I just told you Tay, you're my present that all I wanted."

Tighten his grip Chakotay kissed him saying, "Happy Birthday Angel."


The End or is it? Who knows