The next morning, Tom slowly floated towards consciousness. He rubbed
his face against the warm flesh he was curled up to. He sighed. It had
been too long since he had been held like this. He rubbed his hard cock
against the...hard leg???
'Oh, Shit!' Tom immediately tried to get out of the bunk. As his luck
would have it, the exit was on the other side of the...person. Tom
inanely kept his eyes shut, somehow reasoning in his panic that if he
didn't see who it was, didn't think their name, they wouldn't really be
there. However, *he* had other ideas. Two strong arms came around Tom
and pinned him to a highly muscled chest.
"Easy, Tom," Chakotay said, but all Tom could think of was what they had
done the night before. The way he had wantonly come in Chakotay's hand
and...Tom closed his eyes even tighter against the rest of the images
that flashed through his mind. It didn't help him at all that his ass
tingled and his cock was enjoying the instant replay as well.
'Oh my god, what did I do?' Tom asked himself. He struggled against the
arms, but couldn't get enough leverage to break free without really
hurting the Commander; which was not something he wanted to do.
He relented in his fight, but his mortification was complete when he
realized he was still hard and firmly pressed against Chakotay's thigh.
He tried to pull away again, but Chakotay wouldn't let go.
"You try an emergency exit from this bunk and we are both gonna end up
on the floor. Now stop," Chakotay's voice was firm, but not angry.
For a moment, Tom lay there tense. How were you supposed to deal with a
morning after when you had done something like that the night before.
He shifted slightly and realized he wasn't the only one with what he
hoped was a morning hard on.
"Breath, Tom," Chakotay said, as he relaxed his grip slightly. "Just
relax. We need to talk about this. I think we were both caught a
little off-guard last night."
Tom lay there quietly. His head against the Commander's chest, hearing
his heart beat, and when he inhaled and exhaled. He tried to think of
something to say, anything that would lessen what they had done. Where
were his usual comments that just rolled off his tongue? All he could
think of was him begging the Commander to fuck him, and giving his life
to him and...oh, what had he done?
He was surprised when Chakotay put a hand under his chin and lifted his
face, and gently kissed him. Tom didn't know what to do, but Chakotay
just bit gently at his lips, his hand stroking Tom's cheek.
"It's all right, Poocah," Chakotay rumbled deep in his chest.
"What does that mean?" Tom asked, latching onto the word that sounded so
"Poocah?" Chakotay asked. "Poocah means...baby. My mother used to call
me that when I was young."
"I am not your baby," Tom stated emphatically, lifting up on his arms,
once more considering leaving the bunk. He had had enough of being
someone's baby in Auckland. He shuddered as he mercilessly quashed
images of the showers at Auckland. Tom looked up to glare at Chakotay,
only to be met by smiling brown eyes.
"No, you're just mine."
*You're mine, Paris. Understand that? You are mine,* Becker, the head
of one of the prison gangs, had announced when Tom had finally given
in. Not that Tom had had a lot of choice. He'd tried it on his own for
six months and had spent most of those in and out of the sick bay.
Tom's stomach flip-flopped uneasily as he remembered how he had jauntily
smiled back and asked if Becker thought he was man enough. His mind
grabbed that idea. Piss Chakotay off, play it off like it was no big
deal, like Tom was using him. That would work. Tom looked up at
Chakotay and smiled that same smile.
"You aren't gonna believe that, are you? Come on, Commander, I needed
some relief. That's all." Tom couldn't decide whether he was doing the
right thing or not. Hell, he had wanted Chakotay since he had first
seen him, but he couldn't do this. And after last night, he was pretty
sure Chakotay was what he wanted and needed. However, from the moment
Janeway had gotten him out of that hell hole, he had sworn to himself,
he would never be anyone's whore again. Better to extricate himself
from this situation as soon as possible, no matter how much it hurt.
Gods, why had he let Chakotay see.
"I'm supposed to believe that?" Chakotay asked.
"Sure," Tom said, getting out of the bed. He was overtly grateful the
Commander let him go. "It was just one of those...shore leave things.
You know, Chak, I've always wanted to try something like that, but I
never found anyone str...willing to do it." Tom reached for his pants,
as his mind reached for *any* possible explanation for his behavior. He
was glad he hadn't finished that word though. Telling Chakotay he was
strong enough was not a good idea.
Tom found his pants, but couldn't suppress the slight jump from the
twinge in his ass when he bent over. He pulled his pants on, a little
slower than usual, keeping his back to Chakotay, until he realized the
view he was providing the Commander with. He straightened up quickly
and spun around.
Chakotay's face was neutral, but his eyes were warm, almost laughing.
Tom pulled his pants closed and shut them with a huff. He ran his hands
over his chest and came across more evidence of last night. Tom
desperately wanted to go to the head and clean himself. Chakotay was
still the picture of neutrality, but Tom got the distinct impression, he
was watching him closely. Tom started to look for his shirt, but came
across his underwear first.
*No more,* Chakotay's words echoed through his mind, and Tom realized it
looked like he was obey...doing what Chakotay wanted.
'Great,' he thought, 'It's a fact now. I can either take my pants off
to put them on, but we both know I found them. Shit!'
Tom just continued to look for his shirt, stating calmly. "If you
thought it was something more, I'm...I didn't mean it that way." He
found his tunic and threw that over the foot of the bunk. He glanced up
to see Chakotay still lounging in the bunk, a large expanse of his chest
showing. Tom almost shivered, but instead he continued lightly.
"Besides, Commander, the Maquis will never accept me as your lover." 'Or
whore,' he added to himself. He rubbed his chest and felt the dried cum
again. He remembered the mind-blowing pleasure that had shot through
his body as Chakotay had jerked him off. At least there were no
bruises, no broken bones, and he was pretty sure, Chakotay hadn't torn
"You gave your life to me, Tom,"
"No!" Tom said. "It wasn't....I didn't...Commander, we can't do this."
His tone was firm, after he finished stuttering. It was a definitive
statement. 'Yeah, like you are believing that one, Paris.'
"It won't be like that, Tom," Chakotay said softly. Tom looked back to
see Chakotay propped up on one arm, watching Tom as he tried to find his
clothes in the assortment scattered throughout the shuttle.
"Like what?" He picked up Chakotay's undershirt, and remembered him
leaning over Tom, nearly trapping him against the computer console. Tom
felt a twinge in his dick. *No.* He told his wayward member.
"Auckland." The word was quietly spoken, but it echoed in Tom's mind.
The gangs trapping him in the showers, the guards threatening him with
'D' block if he didn't. Being tied down in his own bunk, pillows shoved
under him, man after man, the pain, the humiliation as one would drive
into his abused ass, and another into his mouth, and then being left
that way for anyone to find. He couldn't breath, he heard the steps
coming down the hall, he could hear them laughing at him, they were
going to come again!
He became aware of the shuttle, and strong arms around him. "Hush, Tom,
easy. Breath for me, Tom. Deep breaths. Deep." Warm lips touching
his face, a hand stroking his back.
"I can't, Chakotay." Tom almost buried his head against Chakotay's
shoulder. Part of him wanted to run away, shove Chakotay away, and
another part of him yearned to stay in his embrace. But, the first part
won, and Tom slowly pulled away from the Commander.
"Can't what?" Chakotay asked gently, letting Tom go.
"Can't do that. I can't be your whore." He had his back to Chakotay.
He couldn't say it facing him.
Chakotay turned him around and lifted Tom's face. Tom so wanted to
close his eyes, to hide his feelings, but he couldn't. He expected
anger, distaste, contempt; instead, he saw warmth, understanding,
"I don't want a whore, Tom Paris. If I wanted a whore, I could have
used any whore on any planet, and I don't do that." Tom could only
stand there as Chakotay kissed him again. "That isn't it, either."
"We need to define 'it', Chak," Tom said in a very shaky voice. How did
Chakotay do this to him? How did he with a few words, ease all of Tom's
fears and make him feel special? Why did he believe those words? Why
did Tom want to believe those words.
As they were getting dressed, Tom's mind played over the events of the
night before. Chakotay was right, he was asking Tom for something
different. Chakotay hadn't treated him callously; in fact, he had made
sure Tom had enjoyed it. Tom was confused. Strong men usually hurt
you, but Chakotay hadn't. Again, he had gone to great lengths to make
sure he didn't hurt Tom. He turned around to see Chakotay leaning
against a bulkhead with his arms crossed. The expression on his face
brought Tom to a standstill.
"What?" Tom asked. He had that horrible feeling he used to get in
prison, the one that said he was being watched. Chakotay stood up and
came over to him. Tom couldn't help backing away, but Chakotay just
continued to advance. Tom had to consciously stop the fear/flight
reaction of balling a fist up. Then the Commander once more wrapped his
hand around the back of Tom's neck and kissed him. Chakotay brought
them in full contact, and Tom could feel Chakotay's semi-rigid cock. It
was like small sparks of electricity as Chakotay bit at his lips and
gently moved their erections against each other. Chakotay continued
slowly exciting him until Tom responded to him. Then Chak released him
with one last kiss.
That made Tom a little uncomfortable, really the whole thing made him
really uncomfortable. Less than two weeks ago, Chakotay had bodily
chucked him out of his quarters and dislocating his shoulder in the
process and now, he was touching him, exciting him.
"This is so...weird."
"Why? I've been your senior officer for years. You admitted that you
found me attractive and wanted my influence in your life, and you've
been searching for the right person," Chakotay said, standing upright.
"Tom, I can only guess from your reaction that what you may have
experienced in this arena, isn't even close to what it's really like.
But it isn't something that is just ABCD. You have to take each
situation as it comes up."
"Can you at least give me a hint. Like...what's A?"
Chakotay gave him a full grin that showed those dimples off so nicely.
"A is we plan what we're gonna do when we get back to Voyager."
Tom sighed. No answers there, but at least he felt like he was part of
"What I suggest is, when Voyager sees us, Tuvok is gonna have to lift
that black out command," Chakotay said. "So we have several messages
cued up to piggy back in on our conversation."
"B'Elanna and Greg."
"Saying what, Chak?"
"When I first came on board Voyager, I didn't trust Kathryn Janeway one
bit. I wrote a lot of programs and so did they. We can take over
Voyager if we have to."
"In theory, Chak. We don't know if the Captain is part of this or not
and we can't just chuck her in the brig."
Tom started to say something, but then shut his mouth. "Good point.
What if Tuvok found those files?"
"Then it's a hand to hand."
"Oh man, that's ugly."
Tom waited a few minutes, hoping Chakotay would finish. "Then what?"
"Then...we start questioning people. Anyone that's willing to work with
us gets out of the brig. We get the implants out of everyone, disable
the surveillance equipment and finish our trip back to the Alpha."
"That's a real basic plan. What do you want to tell Greg and B'El?"
"And that word is?"
"That's it. That was our code word in the Maquis. It meant get ready
"Okay," Tom said, resigned to the fact this was going to be nasty when
they got back. "Let me get it encoded to piggyback."
That took about twenty minutes. Chakotay was straightening the shuttle
up while he worked. Tom was concentrating, but he still heard Chak walk
up behind him. Even though he knew he was there, Tom couldn't stop the
slight jump at the unexpected contact, as Chakotay put his hand on Tom's
"How you doing?" Chakotay asked, with a small squeeze to Tom's
shoulder. It felt good, encouraging.
"Just about there. I've had to queue it, so when communications come
back on line, they'll go out with the first message. In fact, it should
go out on the automated shuttle response. It might get past Tuvok."
Tom finished what he was doing. "And I set it to go out randomly."
"Good work, Tom."
Tom stood up, but Chakotay didn't move back. He almost pulled away, but
Chakotay gently pulled him close and kissed him. Chak's lips felt so
good. Tom felt his cock stir from a simple kiss. Then Chakotay moved
back, and winked.
"A is get you used to being touched and learning to trust me."
"I trust you, Chak," Tom said, with a small grin.
"You don't trust me with you." Chakotay said.
"I don't trust anyone with me, Chak. Hell, I don't trust me with me."
"Tom, listen to me. When this starts, it's gonna be hard and fast. I
need to know that you will do what I tell you to do, without argument or
question. We, you and I, won't be there yet. You won't trust me that
much, but I need your word."
"Since when is my word good enough for you?"
"Since I found out that I have been lied to. Since I spent two days
thinking about all the times I had been duped."
"I'll do what you tell me to, Chak."
Chakotay kissed him again gently, stroking his fingers into Tom's hair.
Tom felt himself tremble, he wanted to lean into Chakotay and hide
himself in that strength. He started to kiss Chakotay back, but
stopped, Chak didn't want him taking control.
"B, you can show interest and be as hot and exciting as you want to be,
just don't try to take control. Unless of course, you want me to put
you back in your place."
"And where is that, Chak?" Tom asked with a saucy smile.
Chakotay's eyes got dark and he pulled Tom close, and the next thing Tom
knew he was almost helpless in Chakotay's arms. He devoured Tom's
mouth, stealing his breath, pressing his body to Tom's as his other hand
closed over Tom's cock and stroked it. In a moment, Tom was pressing
into Chakotay, rubbing into that hand. Chakotay's lips slid down his
neck and began to bite at Tom's neck and shoulder. When Tom finally
began to twist, Chakotay met his eyes and whispered,
"You tell me, Tom." Then he smiled and walked towards the door of the
shuttle. "Shall we get to work?"
"You're gonna leave me like this?" Tom asked, gesturing down to his hard
He saw those dimples again as Chakotay opened the door and left the
As the day wore on, and they finished loading the shuttle with supplies,
Chakotay watched Tom closely. Chakotay had worked subs, but never a
complete novice, and Tom was a novice. However, Tom was also a
natural. Despite his leadership abilities, there was a side to Tom that
Chakotay had only gotten glimpses of, and now that he saw a fuller
picture, he had no doubts in his mind.
Tom had been taught to be a leader. The Admiral, Star Fleet, Kathryn,
and since he was confident in his flying skills and one hell of an
actor, he leaned into those skills to lead. However, beneath those
layers of training, there was a Tom Paris that rarely saw the light of
day. Tom wanted people proud of him, Tom needed approval and, probably
more important, Tom wanted someone in his life that was all of those
things, plus had the ability to guide him and lead him and help him get
past all those mistakes.
He thought back over their conversation when Chakotay had woken up after
Tom had removed the clamp. Tom was desperate to know he hadn't screwed
up again. He had been faced with another failure and had nearly come
unglued. When Chakotay had reassured him he was all right, it was as if
a weight had been lifted off his shoulders.
Then when he had mentioned Auckland, Spirits, he had never seen anyone
react to a single word that way. The last time he had seen a reaction
like that was when they had liberated some prisoners from a Cardassian
prison camp. Tom had gone as stiff as a board, his breathing went to
rapid gasps, and what was worse was he was a million star years away.
He hadn't reacted when Chakotay had called his name. He hadn't reacted
when Chakotay had touched him. His eyes were frozen, not seeing
anything. Chakotay had talked to him, low and calm as he approached
him, because he had a suspicion that if he moved rapidly or touched him
suddenly, Tom would have attacked him. When he was in front of him,
Chakotay gently touched Tom's shoulder, and when Tom hadn't reacted,
Chakotay had enfolded him in his arms, and Tom had slowly come back to
Chakotay smiled as he continued to gather berries. The conversation
when they first woke up had been comical. It had taken control not to
laugh, especially when he had bent over and then straightened back up
like Chakotay had slapped that cute ass. Or the underwear, he could
almost hear Tom wondering what he should do. Or the comments, oh sure,
it was just a *shore leave* thing. Tom sure was quick on his feet.
Yeah, Chakotay was gonna have his hands full with Tom Paris. Then he
sobered. He had his hands full, that was for sure. He would go after
Tuvok and Harry first, if Kathryn was in on it, he would know. She
would try to manipulate him again, but now he thought he would see her
machinations. Kathryn Janeway would not fool him again. He sighed as
he thought of the damage this would do. Despite what he was going to
do, Chakotay didn't want to subject the crew to this. He really hoped
Kathryn was not part of it. The crew could deal with Tuvok and Harry,
but not Kathryn.
That was when he heard the rustling and saw branches move just a few
feet in front of him. Every hair on his head stood up. Tom's
description of the lizard came to mind. Chakotay looked around and
cursed himself for a fool. He had worked himself into a circle of small
bushes, there was only one way out and that was straight back. He began
to move towards the opening.
"No," Tom said quietly, standing outside the enclosure Chakotay was in.
"I'm not alone in here," Chakotay whispered, not moving.
"I know, but that ain't the head that's moving, it's the tail," Tom
said, aiming his phaser, almost at Chakotay's back.
The idea of all those teeth waiting to tear into his back made Chakotay
slow his breathing. There was maybe eighteen centimeters between him
and those bushes. The ridiculous picture of that thing biting him on
the ass almost made him laugh, that was until Tom lowered the phaser.
"What are you doing?" Chakotay asked, stunned as Tom moved to in front
"I can't hit it from there without hitting you." He brought the phaser
back up. "Lean to your left, Chak, and do it slow."
"Paris, if this is a joke, you are a dead man," Chakotay threatened, as
he leaned to the left. He held his breath knowing it was a tight shot.
He hoped Tom had that thing on stun only. Then he heard a hiss, the
sound of a phaser firing and a sharp pain in the back of his arm, as an
incredible force knocked him face first into the dirt.
"Chak!" Tom said, coming over the bushes.
Chakotay was stunned for a moment. He opened his eyes aware of Tom
standing over him, and a heavy weight holding him down. He put his arms
down to push himself up, but his right arm screamed in protest. Then he
felt the weight shift, and realized the stunned lizard was across his
back. He looked back to see Tom pulling on the tail of the thing.
Chakotay couldn't suppress a shudder as the head of the beast plopped
into the mud beside him. Tom wasn't kidding when he said a lot of
teeth. Rows and rows of small razor sharp teeth.
"Chak, are you okay?" Tom asked, kneeling beside him, helping him get
"I think it bit me." Chakotay said, reaching for the back of his right
arm. When he drew it back it was covered in blood. Tom brought the
tricorder up. Chakotay could see the tension in Tom's face, tension and
"I don't think it was poisonous, but considering I only stunned it.
Let's get back to the shuttle, and get that cleaned up."
"Right." Chakotay walked over to the stasis box, which was almost full,
and threw the lid shut.
"Chakotay, you should not be doing anything strenuous. If there..."
"Take your end, before that thing wakes up," Chakotay said, cutting Tom
off. He knew all about making the poison spread faster, but these
supplies were important.
Tom shot him an angry glare, but walked over, slinging the tricorder
back over his shoulder and grabbed both handles, lifting it by himself.
"You are a stubborn man, Chakotay," Tom groaned, as he lifted the box.
"I have been accused of worse," Chakotay said, trying to hide his
smile. Tom had just made him very proud. Tom had done what he asked
without argument, but in a way that Chakotay couldn't fault him for.
They made their way back to the shuttle quickly. Tom moved towards the
back of the shuttle.
"Take your shirt off," Tom said, as he wrestled the stasis box through
the opening to the cargo area.
He came back out, and grabbed the medkit. He pulled a chair out and
Chakotay sat down. He heard the tricorder and then an antiseptic pad
wiping his arm off.
"You did good out there, Tom," Chakotay said.
A hypo was applied to Chakotay's neck. "Thanks. I can't tell you what
it did for my blood pressure when I looked over, and saw that thing
wrapped around the bushes like that."
"I would have backed up into its mouth, if you hadn't said something."
Chakotay turned as Tom applied a bandage to the wound. "Why not
"In case there's an infection, I want to let it drain."
"In case? Drain? There are those words again, Tom."
"You said I had to trust you. I never said you had to trust me." Tom's
smile was teasing again. "Seriously, saliva is a nasty substance and I
just want to make sure. If there isn't any infection in a few hours,
I'll close it up."
Chakotay saw the wisdom in that idea, and nodded.
They relaxed for a few moments, and then decided to eat a quick meal.
Tom got the meals out of storage while Chakotay checked the main
console. They were down to thirty percent power, but Voyager should be
there the next day, so he wasn't too worried.