See part 1 for disclaimer
'Abducted' by JJ
WARNING: This story contains rape scenes and some torture.
A week later, Tom was getting ready to try to sleep. It hadn't been easy
time since they had gotten back from the planet. Luckily, the Doc had also
provided a sedative for him as well. Tom sat staring out the viewport, his
mind almost blank.
The afternoon that Tuvok had visited Chak, he also commed Tom. They had a
little *discussion*. Tuvok went into great detail about Chakotay and that
he understood the Commander's need to be with Tom, but he also made it
extremely clear that Tom's presence was more of a detriment to the Chak's
recovery than anything else.
"And how is that, Commander?"
"Lieutenant Paris, your presence reminds the Commander of what happened.
You yourself stated that your presence when Raton tortured the Commander
made the situation worse. Wouldn't it be better if Commander Chakotay had
a chance to deal with it privately, in his own mind prior to having to face
"I know I can calm Chakotay down when no one else can." Tom crossed his
arms. A small gesture, but it wasn't lost on Tuvok. No matter what Tuvok
said, Tom wasn't going to abandon Chak now. Of all people on this ship, he
knew this was when Chakotay needed someone.
"Something the Commander needs to learn to do for himself again." Tuvok
stated firmly. "Lieutenant, I am not in anyway condemning you for what you
have done for Commander Chakotay, but I am saying that the Commander needs
to reacclimate to Voyager by himself. I have suggested he use his Spirit
Walks and his guide to try to rebalance himself."
Tom had to agree with that.
"I have also noted in my studies that without the Commander's confidence,
the chances of the counseling sessions being successful are seriously
Again, Tom had to agree.
"I am not saying you are to avoid the Commander, but I am requesting that
you not seek him out."
So, now Tom was standing by the viewport in his robe, staring down at the
planet below. It looked so calm and peaceful. He wondered how it held the
horror and violence they had seen.
He was shocked out of his reverie, by the door chime.
"Who is it?"
"Chak," Tom said going to the door. "Get in here." He almost pulled the
Chakotay inside. "Are you okay?" He noticed Chakotay was still dressed
and it was 22:00.
"I'm fine. Look you were getting ready to go to sleep. I'll go."
"The hell you will. I...just took a shower is all. I wasn't planning on
going to bed for hours. What's up?"
"I was wondering if I could...well, if...I can't sleep Tom, and I was
wondering if you wanted to go to Sandrine's or something like that."
"Why don't we just stay here?" Tom knew Chakotay no more wanted to go to
Sandrine's than he wanted to be back to the planet. "We could play cards
or some 3D chess or something like that."
"Yeah, that'd be okay." Soon they settled down on the floor, Tom put some
clothes on and they started to play chess. Tom got both of them a glass of
wine. He watched the board and Chakotay.
"It's your move," he urged gently.
"Why do you call me that?"
Tom laughed lightly. "Wanna know the real truth?"
"No, I want you to lie to me, Tom." Chakotay smiled, as he made his move.
It was the first time Tom had seen Chakotay's dimples since before Raton
had taken them.
"When I was in Auckland," Tom began carefully. He kept his eyes on the
chess board as he explained. "They called me Tommy Boy, blue eyes, stuff
like that. I still cringe sometimes when I hear it, so I figured it was
the same way with you. I wanted to call you something he didn't."
Chakotay nodded slowly. "Thank you."
Tom shrugged and made his move. "How are things with Tuvok?"
"The Captain will be glad to hear I have finally caught up on all of my
paperwork and reports." He laughed. Tom joined him. Chakotay was
notorious for being behind on reports. Not the important ones, but the
obnoxious ones that no one liked to do.
Tom gently reached out and touched the hand Chakotay had on his own knee.
"I never had a chance to say...thank you for what you did down there."
Chakotay looked back at the chess board after a moment. Tom could tell he
was still trying to deal with it by pretending it hadn't happened.
"Tom, I can't claim it was anything other than duty at first. I felt like
it was my place to protect you, if I could."
"Chak, it went past that and we both know it."
The Commander nodded running his thumb over his lips as he appeared to
concentrate on the chess board. "Yeah, it did." The room grew silent.
"Thanks for what you did, Tom. I wouldn't have made it without you down
there." The huskiness in his voice betrayed his emotions. Tom refilled
their wine glasses and set Chak's down next to him. Perhaps Tom was wrong,
maybe he was trying to deal with it.
He watched as Chakotay made his move.
"So how much longer before they put you back on duty?"
"A while yet," Chakotay said. "Tuvok seems to think that being raped for 2
weeks has somehow made it impossible for me to deal with command. What
"I go through a sim test tomorrow and if I pass, I'm back on duty."
Chakotay watched Tom make his move and smiled.
"You think my move is amusing?" Tom asked defensively.
"No," Chakotay said leaning back, taking a big swallow of wine. "I was
remembering your hands."
"My hands?" Tom questioned.
"Just...when you would...take care of me, your hands were always so gentle.
I used to watch you when you flew Voyager and..." Chakotay let the
sentence die away.
"Ah, come on, Chief. Are you telling me you have a hand fetish?" Tom
teased. Chakotay smiled again, and took another big swallow of wine. Tom
noticed the blush and decided it was time to change the subject.
"Have you gotten out at all?"
Chakotay shook his head. Tom moved a little closer to him.
"Chief, no one is gonna look down on you." There was a long moment of
silence and Tom had to listen for the emotion laden whisper.
"How can they not? What I did down there? How do you deal with what
happened to you in prison?" The pain in Chak's eyes hurt Tom. He gently
reached out and touched the big man's arm.
"Like any pain, it fades with time. I accepted the fact I was forced to do
it, but I still wake up some nights screaming."
Chakotay pulled away and stood up abruptly. "I need to go."
"Don't go. Look, I'm sorry." Chakotay was still moving towards the door.
In a desperate attempt not to let Chakotay leave. "Computer, security lock
Paris, Alpha 7 niner." Chakotay froze and turned around. Tom could see
the anger and fear warring in his eyes. "It was the only way I could stop
you, Chief. I'm not going to hurt you, but I'm not going to let you run
"Release the door, Tom,"
"I will if you promise to listen to me for a minute."
"Let me go, Tom." Chak was bordering on hysteria.
"Computer release security lock." He watched the Commander disappear down
He sent a private message to Chak. The override to his door. Then he went
to his bed and hoped resting for a few hours would get him through the sim
eval. After three hours of staring at the ceiling, and watching the
chronometer tick off 180 minutes, Tom got up and asked.
"Computer, location of Commander Chakotay."
"Commander Chakotay is on observation Deck 2." Tom looked back at the
chronometer 02:12. He sighed and pulled on some old jeans and a loose
t-shirt. He made his way to Observation Deck 2.
Chakotay was staring out at the stars. He was trying to think, to not
think, to forget. He couldn't believe Tom had locked the door. The
evening had gone well, they had talked and he had even managed to say thank
you. Then when Tom mentioned waking up screaming, it had just been to
close to home. Without thought he started to leave and Tom had locked the
Oh, Tuvok was going to have a field day with his reaction to that. He had
panicked. Just the simple act of a door locking had shaken him down to his
very core. Scenes of Raton locking the door before he started. He had
felt claustrophobic, terrified and an unmanageable need to flee had risen
up in him like a flood. His hands were sweaty, he had broken out into a
full sweat, his heartbeat had doubled, and all that had happened was
someone locked a door. Maybe he wasn't capable of command. Maybe he never
would be again.
When the door opened, Chakotay turned, gave Tom a measuring look and then
turned back out the viewport.
"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have engaged the lock." Tom said quietly
approaching his side. "I just didn't want you to run and I figured
touching you was even worse."
Chakotay remained silent staring out. How could he explain? Should he
explain? He had trusted Tom and Tom had tried to lock him in. He knew
better. He knew what that would do.
"How can I help, Commander?"
Chakotay laughed an unpleasant laugh, they were both reminded of when Tom
would say this planet side. He spoke without thinking.
"Remind me to sit on one hip."
When he realized what he had said, he was ashamed. Tom Paris didn't
deserve his anger, but there didn't seem to be much else inside him right
now. He was angry at everyone. Chakotay turned to leave.
"Chak, let me in. I've been there," Tom whispered. "I understand and I
don't think you're less of a man."
That felt like someone had just electrified his body. Tom had
inadvertently hit him in his most vulnerable area. Chakotay had been used
by another man, in the most degrading fashion possible. Had he somehow let
the Ape think he wanted it or was that the way Raton really was. How would
others react to him. Tom had said he thought Chakotay was a pantywaist.
That had taken several hours to track down the meaning of. Tom and his
20th century sayings. Didn't what happened make him even more of one.
Chakotay started to walk towards the door, but Tom just wouldn't stop
"I can tell you this. Before we went on that mission, I considered you a
superior officer, a reasonably good person who just didn't like me very
much. Not that I blame you for that." Chakotay smiled at the
self-depreciating humor behind that. What Tom didn't know was Katherine
Janeway was not the only person that saw Tom's potential. Chakotay,
however, thought that Tom threw his life away. He had since changed his
opinion. "But since then, I consider you at least a friend. I think a lot
of people would've let him have me instead."
He stopped. Tom had said that at almost the exact same time as he had
thought it. They had changed down there, for better or for worse, and
Chakotay finally admitted to himself. He liked Tom, but there was so
much...if Tom knew he would walk away. For a moment, he weighed his
choices and then he looked at his hands and then he confessed. "I thought
about it Tom, I really did."
His head bowed under his own guilt. He felt horrible, it was the one
secret he had kept through all of this. He almost let Raton have Tom.
That first night in the second room. He knew it was Raton and had been
fully aware of everything happening. He almost hadn't said 'no'. What
type of commanding officer was he? What type of person was he, that he
could even consider letting Tom be taken when he knew what would happen to
him? But Tom's words were a balm to his heart.
"I think I would've too, if I'd been there. I know I almost set a kid up
"You did?" A fresh breeze blew through Chakotay's heart.
"Yeah, but I couldn't do it to him, just like you couldn't do it to me."
Chak turned around and faced Tom. Now that the floodgates were opened, and
he knew he wasn't the only bastard in the universe that had considered such
an act, he started to talk. He started to say the things he wouldn't and
couldn't tell Tuvok.
"I feel so dirty and ashamed. I've been with men, but I have never,
NEVER," Chakotay felt his anger rise, his hands were in fists, "been broken
like that. NEVER!" He turned completely back around. And saw Tom waiting
for him to continue; a patient, non-judgmental expression on his face, but
it didn't make a dent in Chakotay's anger or shame. "He made me scream
Tom. I screamed, and I...I..."
"Yeah, you did, but there isn't a man alive with a nervous system that
wouldn't have Chak."
"I BEGGED!" Chakotay screamed. Then he looked down and realized his proud
neck had finally bent. His head was down, his body tense. Tom moved
forward and gently touched Chak's arm. That touch was so wonderful. He
looked up without a single shield in place and he saw Tom's face soften
even more. "I begged." Tears fell down his cheeks. He wiped them away
angrily. He hadn't cried in years, but Tom slowly wrapped him up in his
arms. Tom stroked and soothed. Chakotay let go.
Chakotay lowered his head to Tom's shoulder and wrapped those big arms
around him. He shuddered. His breathing was hoarse and ragged. Tom just
gently rubbed his back.
When he had managed to calm himself, Tom quietly said, "Yeah, and just to
let you know. I will never tell a soul. The only thing I will say is that
you did everything within your power to save me. Chak, he was out to break
you and you won. He might have driven you to what you did, but you never
"Yes, I did." Chakotay said straightening up and pulling away.
"No, you didn't. There's a difference. Breaking would mean that you let
him have me, you couldn't deal with it, and you never did. Chak, if he had
broken you, he would never have touched you again. And he kept coming
back, because we all knew, you never broke."
Chakotay was gently led to Tom's quarters and tucked into his bed. He
tried to protest, but Tom shushed him.
"We both sleep better with the other one nearby."
Tom stayed beside him sitting on the bed until Chakotay fell asleep.
Tom stayed with Chakotay until he had to get dressed. He left a padd with
a note saying he had to go to his sim eval.
After the eval, which he passed, and after a complete physical, which he
passed, he was commed by Tuvok.
"Please report to my quarters, Lieutenant."
"On my way," Tom responded, dreading the dressing down he was about to
When he entered Tuvok's quarters, the Vulcan was sitting behind his desk,
his fingers steepled as he thought. Tom stood at parade rest, waiting.
"The Commander seemed much calmer today. When I asked him why, he said you
two had talked on the Observation Deck last night."
"Uh, yes sir, we did."
"Lieutenant, I believe I requested you stay away from the Commander."
"I did, sir. Commander Chakotay came to my quarters last night, he wanted
some company. I did something rather stupid and he left. Later, I asked
his location and I apologized to him. We talked for a while."
"And what did you discuss?"
Tom paused for a moment. He wasn't going to give Tuvok any particulars.
"We discussed the more human aspect of what had happened, sir."
Tuvok stared at Tom, he was not pleased. "I shall assume you mean the more
emotional aspect of the incident."
"You could say that, sir."
Tuvok nodded, and stood up. "I understand the Commander's need to share
with someone who would understand what he went through. He seems to be
angry at my ability to control emotions."
"I can see why that would upset him." Tom answered rather cocky.
"Thank you, Lieutenant, but I would request that in the future, you let me
know when you and the Commander have had one of your talks."
Chakotay sat in his quarters. He had caught up on his reports, cleaned
every square inch of his quarters, spent time reviewing various logs during
his absence, reviewed several Star Fleet manuals regarding the situation he
and Tom were in, tried to meditate and failed, took a hot shower, and
anything else he could think of with one exception. He heard Tom had
passed his sims. Well, in fact he had checked the logs until the data
showed up. His score was higher than his last sims evaluation.
He sent a message to him, congratulating him, but there had been no
response. Chakotay paced his quarters, unable to sit still for long. Then
his message light came on and he moved to the computer terminal.
"Commander, we're having a small get together at Sandrine's. Sort of a
celebration for Tom going back on duty. It starts at 20:00, if you're
Chakotay just stood there for a moment. Sandrine's? A party? For Tom?
There would be a lot of people there. How would they react to him? Would
they ask him questions? Could he do it?
At the gathering for Tom that night, only a few people had showed up
really. Harry, B'El, the Captain, the Delaney twins, Sue, a few other
pilots. Tom was enjoying himself to some degree or another. It was nice
to have the familiar sights and sounds around him. His pool game loosened
up quickly. Getting back out among people was nice, but he wanted to check
on Chakotay. He and Tuvok had come to a truce. He checked on Chakotay
occassionally, and Tuvok didn't reprimand him publicly. He just stared
with that disapproving Vulcan look.
He was shooting pool with Harry, joking about Harry's game getting better,
when the door opened and the room fell silent. Tom looked around
surprised. Usually he was the only one who could produce such an impact by
entering a room. He turned and saw Chakotay standing there.
His heart leapt, until he saw the controlled panic in his eyes. Then Tom
realized everyone was staring at Chak. Tom immediately put his pool cue
down and greeted the Commander loudly. He called for a drink for Chakotay
and his eyes pinned both B'Elanna and Harry.
"Chief," B'El called. "Glad you could make it."
Harry smiled a small smile and said, "Good to see you, Commander."
Tom got the drink as people started talking again, and took it to the
Commander leading him into the room.
"I'm glad you came."
"I think maybe it was a mistake to come," Chakotay said trying to make
their discussion appear business like.
"First time is the hardest, Chak. Just take deep breaths." Tom returned
quietly, leaning close to the Commander and giving him a brilliant Paris
Tom sat the Commander safely at the table where he, Harry and B'Elanna were
sitting. He made sure the Commander had a wall at his back so no one could
walk up and surprise him.
"So, Chakotay. I see you've come out of hiding." That was B'El charge
right in where no one else would dare.
Chakotay smiled wrapping his hands around his beer. "My cabin was getting
a little close."
"Hey, Tom, your shot," Harry cried. Tom rolled his eyes. He quickly
finished the table and let whoever was next take it.
The three sat down and talked. Harry and B'Elanna started talking techs
and specs, which made Tom groan in frustration.
"Do you two ever talk about anything else?"
"What would you like us to talk about Tom?" B'elanna asked. "The
Chakotay smiled at that comment. He gave Tom a sidelong glance.
"I think the weather would be good. You know we really need to talk to the
Captain about the humidity on board. She's got it set so low that my hair
just crackles when I brush it out in the morning," Tom said with a classic
Paris smile and a slight shake of his head, like an old movie queen.
Harry smiled, B'Elanna snorted and Chakotay nodded.
"Not a problem for me, Paris," Chakotay bantered back.
"That's because you have no hair, Commander," Tom expounded with a light
smile. "And the temperature is atrocious, it is at least three degrees to
cool in the hallways."
"Three degrees," Harry murmured still smiling. "How can you stand it?"
"Above and beyond that, I think we should get ice cream Sundays. We all
get ice cream on the Captain every Sunday night, just to break up the
monotony. With real whipped cream, bananas and hot chocolate." Tom was
really warming up to his subject, but the snickers from his table mates had
him a little confused.
"Ice Cream Sundays, Lieutenant," The distinct voice of the Captain asked.
"On my rations?"
B'El smiled victoriously when Tom winced. Harry laughed and Chak just
smiled some more.
"Captain, uh, it was just a suggestion," Tom back peddled desperately.
"I thought that might be the situation," She said with that 'not a smile'
smile she had perfected. "I will take it under advisement. May I join
"Of course, Captain," Harry said pulling a chair to the table for her.
B'Elanna could not resist taking more jabs at him. "Captain, Tom also
thinks we should raise the temperature by three degrees in the hallway and
up the humidity levels."
"And how did this most interesting conversation come about?" Janeway asked
drinking her wine.
"We decided to talk about the weather instead of specs," Tom said with
She nodded her head in understanding, but turned to Tom.
"Congratulations on passing your sims eval."
"Thank you Captain," Tom said, putting his hands on the table. "It will be
good to fly Voyager again." He wiggled his fingers as if making a course
correction. He noticed Chak staring at his hands, and met his eyes when he
looked up. The table grew quiet for a moment.
"And Commander, I want to thank you for catching up on your reports. I am
now neck deep in padds in my office." There was laughter at the table.
"I'm sorry, I got so far behind on them, Captain."
The conversation flowed for a while, but soon Chakotay made his apologies
and left. A few people had come and said hello, and Tom had been very
proud of the way Chakotay had handled it. He and Harry sat there later
after B'El had left.
"Being a little protective, don't you think?"
"What do you mean, Har?"
"Chakotay," Harry answered staring at his beer mug.
"I didn't think I was that bad," Tom blustered.
"You weren't but I saw it. So did B'El and the Captain."
"I just want to help him. He...Harry do you know what he did for me down
"I read the reports." Harry looked at the door. "I was really surprised
he came tonight."
They sat there quietly for a while, and then left. When they separated for
their own cabins, Tom considered stopping by Chakotay's and seeing how he
was doing. He checked the time - 22:00. No, he knew Chak tended to go to
bed early. He passed the Commander's quarters and traveled on to his own.