'Twas Christmas Day...

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Author's Note: A whole lot of people who read my story "Gone At 2am" have asked "What happened last Christmas?" Well, here's your answer... 

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It was the annual Christmas party on Voyager, and, as usual, it was taking place on the holodeck. This year it was a huge ballroom, in a building in the Swiss Alps. The carpet was red velvet, the walls painted gold, and the Christmas tree almost reached the ceiling of the 10-meter high room. Along one wall was a buffet, all the food generously provided by Neelix, and at the far end of the room was a stage with a microphone. At present, the Doctor was singing a selection of Christmas songs. It was the best party Kathryn Janeway had been to in a long time. 

Spotting Tuvok standing on his own, she picked up two more glasses (having already had several in the course of the evening) of Neelix's specially prepared champagne and headed over to him. 

"Enjoying yourself?" she asked. 

"Vulcans do not enjoy themselves. Furthermore, I do not see the logic in refusing my request to remain on the bridge during the festivities. I question the wisdom of leaving the ship in the hands of the junior officers." 

"Tuvok, lighten up. I'm sure Ensign Selhtrow is more than capable of keeping them in line. Champagne?" 

"No thank you." 

"Fine, more for me!" she exclaimed, drinking the first glass in one go. "Ooh... this is nice..." 

"Captain, I do not think it wise for you to become intoxicated." 

"Intoxicated? Me? Tuvok, you've known me long enough to know I can handle my drink." 

"Indeed, I am well aware of how you 'handle your drink'. It is that knowledge upon which I based my statement." 

"You think I'm gonna get drunk, don'tcha? I'll prove you wrong." She drank the other glass. 

"Captain..." 

"Ah need sumthin stronger." she headed back to the buffet, seemingly having forgotten that she was having a conversation. 

"Ah, Captain! What can I get for you?" Neelix was his usual overexuberant self. 

"Hmm...av you go' any vodka?" 

"Vodka? What's that?" 

"Ver nice drink." 

"Um, Captain...? Is this an alcoholic drink? Because I really don't think -" 

"Ah! The whole crew is gangin' up on me! You all thin' I'm gonna get drunk!" 

"Um, with all due respect Captain, I think anyone would be drunk after that many glasses of champagne... maybe you should go back to your quarters now..." 

"Wha'? The party's onny jus' getting shtarted! Ooh..." she saw that the Doctor had finished singing. "Lasht Chrishtmas..." 

Neelix sighed and shook his head as the Captain headed off towards the stage, singing to herself. He had tried, he really had... 

Captain Janeway reached the stage, grabbing the microphone from Tom Paris. "Fank you!" she beamed at him. "Dis song's for you!" 

Clearing her throat and grinning at all the nice smiling people in the audience, she started singing... 

"Laaaaast Christmas, I-" 

She looked at the bright lights shining on the stage and decided that she was too hot. 

"Hang on a shecond..." 

She took off her jacket and undershirt and flung them out into the audience, who giggled and laughed. Not quite the response she was expecting... 

She shrugged it off and started singing again. 

"Laaaaaast Christmas, I gave you my heart, but the verrry neksht day, you gave it away..." 

She decided that singing was far more fun if you were dancing at the same time, so that's what she did. 

"Thiiiiis year, to shave me from tears, I'll give it to shomeone spe - OW!" 

She had fallen off the stage. 

"Oops!" she grinned at the crowd around her sheepishly. "Hehe! Ooh..." 

She had spotted the Christmas tree. 

"Pretty sparkly..." 

She got up and wobbled towards it, a huge grin on her face. 

Then she spotted the big fairy on the top. 

"Ooh..." 

She just stared for a few moments, then, suddenly, decided to climb the tree. 

She was halfway there before anyone realized what she was going to do. 

"Captain! No!" Tom Paris rushed after her, hesitating at the base of the tree, but then climbing up after her. 

"Captain! Please come down!" Chakotay stood underneath the tree, looking up at her concernedly. 

"Nottil I've gotta pretty fairy!" 

She almost slipped. She paused. 

"Stoopid shoes!" she announced, kicking them off. 

Unfortunately, one of them landed on Harry Kim's head and knocked him out. 

"Captain!" Paris was gaining on her. 

"Oops! Shorry!" she said, looking down for a moment. 

"Captain! Come down!" 

"Nope!" she climbed on with new determination, reached the top, grabbed the fairy... 

And lost her balance. 

She tumbled down, crewmembers desperately moving to catch her. 

"Captain!" cried Tom, now trying to climb back down as quickly as possible. 

She landed on Chakotay, knocking him over. 

"Ouch..." she said vaguely, getting up and immediately falling back down. "Dat hurt..." 

"I'll second that." groaned Chakotay from underneath her. 

"Oof...dizzy..." 

And with that Kathryn Janeway passed out. 

* * *

She awoke in her quarters several hours later with a very bad headache, wondering for a second where she was before the whole evening came flooding back to her. 

"Oh no..." she groaned, rolling over...and getting the shock of her life when she saw Chakotay lying next to her. Eyes wide, she rolled to the other side, desperately trying to piece together how this could've happened...and got a possibly even bigger shock when she saw Tom Paris lying on the other side of her. 

"What, whadda, wha..." She sprang from the bed, horrified, speaking gibberish in a very hurried manner. 

"Captain?" She had obviously woken Chakotay up. Looking over at Tom, she saw that he, too, was stirring. 

"I, you, whadda...ow." Her headache caught up with her, and she sat, groaning in pain, on the bed. 

"Shall I get some coffee?" Tom had got up and was looking at her with concern. 

"Please." she said weakly. After a few moments she managed to look up at Chakotay. "What happened?" 

"You got very drunk and passed out, so Tom and I brought you back here." 

"And...?" 

"And what?" he asked confusedly. "I guess we must've dropped off too..." 

Only then did she notice that she, Chakotay and Tom were still fully clothed. 

"Ohh! Right..." she laughed, mentally kicking herself for even thinking such things. "Okay." 

"Kathryn? Why, what-" he stopped suddenly, obviously realizing what she had thought. "Ahem..." He tried not to grin. 

But Kathryn meanwhile had erupted into full-blown hysterics, despite the fact that it was making her headache ten times worse. 

"What's so funny?" asked Tom, handing Kathryn her coffee. 

Chakotay could not seem to wipe the grin off his face. "Well..." 

Kathryn shot him a look. He shut up immediately. "Private joke" he said instead. 

There was an uncomfortable silence as Kathryn drank her coffee. 

Eventually Chakotay stood up. "Well, I guess we'd better be going. Work to be done." 

"Yeah..." said Tom. "I hope you don't have too much of a hangover, Captain." 

"Thank you. I'll see you on the bridge. And please apologize to Harry for me?" 

"Of course, Captain." 

The two men exited. After a few seconds, Kathryn was sure she heard laughter coming from the corridor... 

Yes, this was definitely a Christmas for the history books. And no doubt a source of gossip for many months to come. 

She lay back on her bed, wondering how long it would take for the crew to be able to look at her without imagining her singing "Last Christmas". She suspected it would be a while. 

Ah, who cares, she thought. She wouldn't have to face them for hours yet. In the meantime, she could go back to sleep, and hope that the headache would be gone when she awoke. 

And to all a good night... she said to herself, as her eyes drifted shut... 

The End

  

So who cares if I used ten billion clichés? I had fun writing it, that's what counts :D