Title:  What scares you?
Author:  Cheryl Forbes
Fandom:  Star Trek:  Voyager
Pairing:  Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating:  NC 17
Series:  1 of 2
Email for feedback:  forbesc@skyia.com
Disclaimer:  Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.

Summary:  Chakotay's attempts to practice some alternate therapy on
the bridge crew in a haunted house.

"It will be good for them."

The holodoc gave him a speculative look.  "This wasn't the exactly
the type of counseling I was talking about when I suggested we work

"You were expecting a group therapy session complete with coffee and
donuts?"  Chakotay took a sip of the tea the doctor had thoughtfully
provided and then placed the porcelain cup down on the hologram's

"As a matter of fact yes.  When I came to you about the command
crew's recent irritability I expected you to plan a sound course of
therapy not a dinner party on the holodeck."  The doctor replied with

"Doctor traditional modes of therapy are effective given the right
circumstances but with this eclectic group such time honoured
practices won't work.  These people are anything but traditional and
required something a little more innovative to open up about their
feelings."  He handed the hologram a PADD containing his outline for
the evening.  "And besides it's not really a party but more of an
encounter session."

"But they'll think it's a party Commander."

"Of course.  Do you think I'd get any of them to show up any other
way?  The situation's not serious enough to order them to partake in
counseling so I've decided to entice them, albeit unknowingly.  The
dinner is just a means to an end."

The doctor scanned the data PADD skeptically.  "Dinner in a haunted
mansion?  How is that supposed to relieve stress?"

"Doctor you should know that shared traumatic experiences brings
people together.  It's a basic psychological principle."

"Yes but I don't remember seeing anything about ghosts or goblins in
any psyche manual I ever read.  You'll give them nightmares

"No Doctor, it won't be that bad.  I'll only scare them enough so
that they'll laugh about it later."

"And you think they'll enjoy that?"  The doctor accused as he rounded
his desk with the intent to intimidate.  It didn't work.

"Sure they will," Chakotay replied affably.  "It'll be like listening
to ghost stories around a campfire, fun and scary and the same time.
They'll blow off a little steam and be the better for it the next
day."  He folded his arms over his chest and smiled. "Mission

"Very well but for the record I'd like to say that I'm not completely
comfortable with your methods Commander."

"Noted and if it will make `you' feel better, you can monitor the
proceedings from Sickbay.  I've already commandeered Tuvok's eyes, so
one more set won't hurt."

"Tuvok's?"  A self-satisfied holographic grin formed.  "So you're not
completely sure yourself about this session."

"I only needed him for the security lock out and to make sure things
run smoothly Doctor."  Chakotay nonchalantly moved a hand behind his
back and crossed his fingers. "I don't anticipate any trouble." He

Despite his brave words, Chakotay wasn't totally confident that the
evening wouldn't go off without a hitch.  The reactions of alpha
shift to fear while on duty were exemplary and the stuff of legends,
but off duty they were often unpredictable and surprisingly
vulnerable at times.

The big brave Captain Kathryn Janeway was frightened like a
schoolgirl by thunderstorms and Seven when she wasn't regenerating,
had developed an aversion to being alone. Strike first and ask
questions later was B'Elanna's motto in the face of what scared her,
while Harry tended to run for the hills when presented with
confrontation.  And then there was the enigma called Tom Paris.

Chakotay wasn't sure what exactly bothered the pilot but he was
convinced something did.  Why else would the flippant lieutenant
spend so much time cracking jokes if not to cover up his fears?
Chakotay's better nature chose to believe Tom was in supreme denial
rather than accepting the man was a total jackass.

Hopefully this little party would help him gain insight into the
seemingly unflappable younger man since spirits knew these last seven
years he'd pretty much come up with zip.  Tom Paris was a still
mystery to him and Chakotay swore on his abilities as a counselor,
one he intended to solve.

The doctor broke through his thoughts.  "So when's the big event."

"In two days. I'll send out the invitations tomorrow."


"Dinner at eight and wear your best.

A Friend."

Tom placed the eggshell white linen invitation on the bed and stared
at it like it was a death threat.  It was signed `A Friend' and he
knew after a day of rigorous investigation, that the anonymous
closure was anything but true.  He knew the first officer had sent
the ominous note.

Chakotay was a lot of things to him, his colleague, his worst
skeptic, and more often not his wet dream but unfortunately not his
friend.  Not that Tom wouldn't have liked him to be, but the
commander always seemed to keep him at arms length.

When he did get close it was only in his professional capacity as
ship's counselor.  Probing questions about his well-being were not
meant as a social gesture to get to know him better but a thinly
veiled attempt at therapy.  Like the head doctors after his accident
at Caldik Prime, his inquiries were cold and clinical and just like
he did back then, Tom reacted with sarcasm.  It was a knee jerk
reaction that even after all these years he still masked his true
feelings with.  Shit maybe he did need therapy because if there was
anybody on this great ship he wanted to open up to it was Chakotay.

The big gorgeous man did things to him that nobody ever had.  He
invaded his thoughts constantly.  When he performed his duty,
Chakotay was there making him strive for perfection.  During nights
out with his friends, the commander dogged his consciousness causing
him to see out his presence in the room with his eyes.  And when he
made love, oh man that was the worse.  No matter whom he had in his
arms, Chakotay was the one he was really fucking.

It all added up to one terrible case of the unrequited love, so it
was little wonder he threw barbs at the first officer when he
dispassionately asked how he was doing.  Tom was afraid if he let
loose and really told him how he felt, the older man would give him a
pitiful look and that was unacceptable.  Tom may have debased himself
in ways that were less than palatable but he still had some pride.
There was no way in hell he was going let the man whose ass he wanted
to own feel sorry for him.  He'd rather lust quietly after Chakotay
than suffer that indignity.

So was he going to this little shindig or what?  He rose from the bed
and headed for the closet with resignation knowing the answer. What
little joy he had at discovering that it was the first officer
requesting his presence on the holodeck had been shattered when he
heard through the grapevine that he wasn't the only one invited.

The captain, Harry, B'Elanna and Seven had all received similar notes
only they didn't know who their host was.  Tom would have told them
if he could have trusted his voice not to waver with disappointment
but since that was a near impossibility, he kept them in ignorance.
If Chakotay wanted to them know his secret, he'd have to be the one
to tell them.

So for now he'd keep his mouth shut and take advantage of the evening
festivities and indulge in a little Chakotay watching.

Later he'd come home, whack off to the stolen images and have himself
a real party.


"Do you think the house has a name?"

"A name?"

Kathryn leaned forward in her armchair treating Chakotay to a
magnificent display of the tops of her breasts as they peeped from
the bodice of the green velvet gown she was wearing. "Yes all the
great estates have names.  Mayfair, Wuthering Heights, Tara, you know
like that."  She said excitedly.

It didn't escape Chakotay's notice that all the names the captain
mentioned were taken from romantic holonovels and in this situation
not exactly appropriate.  He hadn't given a title to this home
although if he had it might have been more along the lines of the
Bates Motel or Dracula's castle.

"I don't know."  He said with feigned innocence from his matching
chair beside her.  "Does it matter?"

"Of course, it creates ambiance." She fell back taking her cleavage
with her.  Chakotay hid a sigh of relief.  He liked Kathryn and their
relationship was purely platonic but he was still after all a man and
not totally unaffected by a shapely bosom.

"Don't you like the place?"

The captain sipped her burgundy, no synthehol for his guests, while
she unknowingly reviewed what was his handiwork.

The room was styled after the nineteen century filled with candles
for lighting and a fireplace for warmth.  A bookshelf stocked with
leather bound volumes lined one wall and heavy damask drapes framed
floor length windows on either side of the stone hearth.  The cozy
atmosphere of the room was completed with overstuffed chairs and
lounges upholstered in rich brown leather.  The homey scene was
designed to lull its occupants into a false sense of calm.  It was a
jumping off point before they moved to the more sinister dining room.

"It'll do."  She relaxed into her chair and then peered at him
through her lashes peeling off his black silk shirt and pants with
her eyes.  "It's perfect for seduction and if the rest of my bridge
crew wasn't due to arrive soon, I'd been questioning your intentions
right now Chakotay."

"Me?  Who says I had anything to do with this?"

"No one, I was just thinking is all.  A few drinks before dinner to
warm us up and then a pleasant dinner, it would have been nice."

Warning bells started to ring in his head. "Kathryn," He said

"Oh don't get your undies in a twist Chakotay.  I didn't say I wanted
to jump `your' bones.  It's just that it's been a while since I've
had a date.  What with the pressures of my job and having to be the
captain all the time, I don't get out as much as I like.  I guess I
miss the freedom being a woman."

"Maybe that's why our mysterious host asked here.  To remind us that
there other things in life other than duty."

"To stop and smell the flowers."

"It's good advice."  He agreed pleased that she was letting down her
defenses and talking to him.  Chakotay could almost see the stress
emanating away from her body.

"I suppose."  Kathryn tucked her knees up under her and leveled her
hazel eyes at him.  "Gods knows you could use a little of that."

"What's that supposed mean?"

"When was the last time you got laid Chakotay?"  She said frankly,
her eyes glittering with the effects of the alcohol.

"Me?  I thought we were talking about you?"

"We were, but now it's your turn.  We've determined I need more
romance ease my tensions but you my tight assed friend need a good
hard fuck to jar yours loose."

"I'm fine."  He decidedly did not like the turn of this conversation
nor the fact that both the doctor and Tuvok were listening to it.  He
sought to end it.  "I have my duties, which by the way I find
ultimately fulfilling and when that's not enough, my boxing program."

"Yes and I have my holonovels but even I know that's not enough.  You
need a man Chakotay."

"A woman you mean."  He gave her a serious stare.  "We both know I
don't do men Kathryn."  He said adamantly both for her and his hidden

She took another sip of her wine and then smiled coyly over the brim
of her crystal goblet.  "Maybe that's the problem."

As he was about to retort, the arch appeared and Tom Paris strolled
on to the holodeck with the rest of the party guests in tow.  The
tall blond clad in an ice blue silk shirt and snug blue jeans,
strolled over to the fireplace that separated the easy chairs he and
Kathryn were sitting in.  As the lieutenant warmed his hands, she
cocked her head towards the tightly clad butt and mouthed the
words `go for it'.  Chakotay blushed hotly and tried to ignore both
his captain and the surprising attractive spectacle that was
temptingly within reach.

After giving the hearth its proper appreciation Tom turned to them
and smiled brightly.  Chakotay quickly diverted his eyes from the
lieutenant's mid section and looked up into his face.

"So what are we talking about tonight?"


"So what are we talking about tonight?"

"What Chakotay needs to make him happy."  It wasn't the answer he'd
been expecting because as far as he could see the even keeled first
officer required nothing.

"Ma'am?"  He queried and moved closer to her chair hoping to find
what secret ingredient Chakotay would bring a smile to handsome man's
face.  The captain peered around him at the first officer and opened
her mouth to speak but was cut off by said officer.

"Our host has left refreshments on the sideboard people, I suggest
you help yourselves."  The commander stood abruptly and brushed past
him.  Tom, trailing the older man's earthy scent with his nose closed
his eyes and breathed deeply attempting to catch the flavour on the
back of his tongue.  When he opened his eyes again it was to his
captain's knowing grin.  Embarrassed, he quickly took the seat the
commander had vacated and scanned the room.

On one of the two couches distending from each of the easy chairs by
the fire were Harry and B'Elanna.  They had already availed
themselves of the blood red liquid from the bar and were as usual,
arguing.  Their voices were hushed so the discussion hadn't become
too heated yet but the night was young.  Tom moved from them to the
bar where Seven, dressed in a short red dress that all but yelled
fuck me was listening intently to Chakotay as he poured her a glass
of wine.  A surge of jealousy spiked his heart.

The tall blond ex-borg it seemed tended to gravitate towards the
commander a lot as of late.  She sat beside him in conference
meetings and was always somewhere near in social situations.
Personally Tom had nothing against her but the problem was that maybe
Chakotay didn't either.

"They're just friends."  Said the captain softly correctly surmising
the reason for his intense scrutiny of the couple at the bar.  Damn,
he had slipped again.

"Whatever."  He replied flippantly trying to cover his lapse.  She
didn't buy it.

"Give it a rest Lieutenant.  If you like him, why not just tell him."

"Sure and right after that I'll jump in the Flyer and take on the
Collective single handedly." She gave him an impatient scowl so he
lost the attitude.  "Sorry Captain but I'd be setting myself up for
one big hurt, so if you don't mind, I'll pass."

Kathryn Janeway leaning over in her chair and lower her voice.  "What
scares you Tom?"

The question was so sincere which something he wasn't used to, he
answered or started to.  Outside the wind began to howl directing all
eyes to the blackness beyond the heavily dressed windows.  A driving
rain spattered the panes.

"Not fit for man nor beast."  He whispered causing his normally
intrepid captain to jump.  The whites of her eyes were prominent and
she was clutching her wine glass tightly.

"It's only a storm and a holographic one at that."  Tom said in

"I know. I know."  She repeated swallowing hard.

He was about to take her hand when a loud crash resounded through the
room.  Banging and clattering to the will of the gale force winds,
one of the double Victorian windows beat against their sash causing
the storm outside to invade their cozy retreat inside.  The candles
flickered and then were extinguish as the wind reached them and the
hardwood floor began to shine with rainwater.

Heedless of the darkness, Tom leapt from his chair meeting Chakotay
at the open window.  Each taking a dormer they put their shoulders
into the wooden frames and wrestled the flapping panes closed.  When
they simultaneously reached for the latch, their hands touched and
their eyes locked.

The only light in the room radiated from the fireplace and although
it was dim, Tom was still able to see the exquisitely sculpted planes
of Chakotay's handsome face.  The full lips were parted slightly as
if in invitation to be kissed.  Tom caressed the fingers under his
ever so lightly and moved closer.  His chest and his crotch tightened
when the commander leaned forward.

"Will someone find a fucking light switch!"  B'Elanna roared,
breaking the spell.  Chakotay blinked twice, removed his hand and
then righted himself.

"I think I saw matches by the fireplace on the mantle."  The
commander called back to her while still looking at him.  After
giving him a confused look, he proceeded over to the hearth.  As he
passed, Tom turned a palm outward and let it brush his hip.  Chakotay
halted briefly and then continued.

Tom pressed the side of his head against the cold pane. "Oh fuck."
He cursed, too quietly for anyone but Chakotay to hear.

As the soft glow of candlelight began to reanimate the room, he
headed for the bar.


Tom Paris had almost kissed him.

And what's more, he had almost let him.  Sitting back in his chair by
the fire, Chakotay rubbed his hip where the younger man had touched
him.  It still tingled and it wasn't the only place on his traitorous
body.   His skin felt hyper sensitized.  Every time he moved the
friction of his clothes sent delicious chills down his spine.  As a
result he sat very still and willed the teasing signals away from his
curious cock.  It was twitching in his pants as if reaching out for
the pleasing sensations.  For distraction he reviewed the evening
thus far.

So far with the help of a little wine the captain had let her hair
down metaphorically speaking.  That was good but she was the easy
one.  The rest of the group with the exclusion of the mesmerizing
pilot would require a little more theatrics before they opened up.
Tom, he suspected would require something entirely different.
Impersonal thunderstorms and howling winds would not be enough for
tactile younger man.  Tom would need a more intimate touch to reveal
his worries and Chakotay was unsure if he would be able to provide
that or even want to.

Although he had not used his skills on anyone save himself for
sometime, Chakotay was an experienced and accomplished lover.  He was
intensely and secretly proud of his ability to satisfy a woman.
However he was a complete novice when it came to men.

Through the normal course of adolescence he had participated in the
odd circle jerk with his buddies, but had never taken the next step
to physical interaction.  Spirits he didn't even know what it was
like to kiss a man let alone have sex with one.  The map of the male
body was alien to him and at the age of forty eight he wasn't about
to be shown the way by a upstart lieutenant ten years his junior.

He looked over to the sidebar where his current conundrum chatted
casually with Seven and laughed to himself.  Even while trying not
to, his thoughts still came round to him.


It was Harry Kim.

"Yes Ensign."

"Aren't we supposed to be eating or something?"  Harry said
anxiously.  Chakotay could see the storm was having its effect on the
young ensign.

Kathryn glanced over to him.  "What do you say Commander.  Should we
go looking for dinner?"

"Sounds good."  Chakotay slapped the arms of his chair and
stood.  "There has to be a dining room around here somewhere.
Perhaps we should pair off and go hunting."

It was time for part two of his plan.