Title: Two Steps Back - P3forbesc@skyia.com
Author: Cheryl Forbes
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Pairing: Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating: NC 17
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Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.
Summary: Chakotay saves Tom -- for himself.
As soon as they entered Chakotay's unlit cabin, Tom tore his arm away
and headed for the couch. Snuggling into the corner, he wrapped his
arms around his trembling knees and tried to make himself as small as
possible. The commander sat down beside him pulling him from the
edge and settling him into his lap.
"Tommy." The big man crooned.
Chak was using his pet name again and this time Tom didn't care. He
was too numb.
"It will be OK, Harry will come around."
"No Chak he won't. I've tested his patience for the last time. It's
"That not true."
"Yeah it is but it doesn't matter. I don't care anymore."
Chakotay didn't say anything in response and Tom was glad. He was
too tired and too defeated to argue the point. All he wanted to do
was sit quietly in the dark, cocooned in Chak's body.
By now the scene in Sandrine's would be working its way through the
ship's grapevine and by this time tomorrow it would be headline news.
Harry would scorn him, the crew would ridicule him but at least Tom
knew who he was and what his place was.
Tom was a whore and he belonged to Chakotay.
Tom was broken and it was his fault.
It had been his lust and needs that had weakened the cowering man in
his arm's spirit. By feeding off Tom's essence Chakotay had left him
defenseless against Harry's outrage and as a result his soul had been
shattered. It was immoral and unforgivable and what even worse was
that he known better.
Kolopak had taught him when he was young that wild creatures like Tom
weren't meant to be captured and possessed. They were fragile things
that needed to be respected and loved. Chakotay had forgotten his
father's teachings and Tom had paid the price, dearly.
So because of that horrendous failure, it would be his responsibility
to restore the young man's spirit and heal his soul. It would be his
penance. Tom would care again, laugh again and most of all, smile
again. Chak wasn't sure how to start but he knew 'what' to stop.
Tom stirred in his arms.
Soft wet tears warmed the side of the commander neck and a timid
"Do I still have you?"
Remembering his promise in the bar, Chakotay answered, "Yes Tommy you
A different kind of wetness touched his nape and traveled up along
his hairline to his earlobe.
"And do you still want me?"
Chakotay wanted to tell the wounded creature in his lap yes more than
anything and very nearly did. It was only the thought of the lost
smile that stopped him.
"What I want Tommy is for you to be happy."
Tom unfurled his lean body and straddled him. A voice previously
timid turned sultry.
"I think I know a way to make us both feel that way, Chak."
The commander looked up to protest but his voice was captured by a
set of shining blue eyes. He watched mesmerized as Tom's face closed
in on his. Chakotay trembled in anticipation.
In all their nights alone, Tom had never kissed him. That beautiful
talented mouth and tongue had sucked his cock and fucked his ass to
orgasm but not given him that sweet simple pleasure. Chakotay had
accepted that the pilot's kisses were not part of their arrangement
and were subsequently not for sale. So why was the young man giving
them away free now? Nothing had changed between, not really anyway.
He needed to know and to stop thinking with his dick.
"What?" Tom halted inches away from his lips.
"Why are you doing this?"
Sitting back on the bigger man's knees, Tom tipped his head to the
side. "You own me."
"You're not a prostitute Tommy."
"OK I'm not a prostitute. Think of me as a courtesan or a concubine,
whatever. I'm here to serve you."
Long ago thoughts of Klingons and Cardassians surfaced in Chakotay's
brain and he lowered his head guiltily. Tom pulled his face back up.
"You've thought of me that way, haven't you?"
"Yes and it was wrong of me. I've shamed you in front of Harry and
the entire crew."
"No I shamed myself. You only gave me the means to do it."
"I'm still sorry and I want to make it up to you."
Tom gazed out the viewport and oceans of thought flowed behind his
sea blue eyes. Still looking out the window, he spoke,
"I think I know a way you can."
"I want to make amends Tommy. I'll do anything you ask."
"You mean that?" Tom sprang from his lap to the middle of the room.
"On my father's grave, yes."
"Then make it official Chakotay. Claim me as yours and be proud to
have me." The light in Tom's eyes shone hot. "I don't want to be
ashamed anymore. If I'm going to be known as the commander's whore,
then let me be the best damn whore on Voyager!"
Chakotay didn't point out that he would be the 'only' whore on
Voyager. He couldn't. Tom was sailing around his cabin, his arms
outstretched looking bright and alive but that wasn't the main reason
Chakotay couldn't burst the dancing man's bubble. Oh no not by a
long shot. The main reason the commander couldn't dampen his mood
was because Tom was doing something wondrous. He was smiling.
"All right but on one condition, Tom. No sex."
The pilot stopped twirling. "That's sort of defeating the purpose
"Take it or leave it Tom. You need time to heal from the damage my
proposition caused." He rose from the couch to stand before the
pilot. Chakotay had to look up to see into his sparkling eyes. "And
I'd like us to become friends."
Tom considered this proposal longer the last one before agreeing. "OK
Chak. I'll go get my things."
Get my things? Before the commander could ponder his meaning, Tom
landed a big wet kiss on his slack jawed mouth and flew out the door.
Rack up another victim to the Paris charm.
Tom was happy.
This last month with Chakotay had been fantastic. He felt like he
was part of something and of somebody. Chak still didn't want sex
but he didn't for one second make Tom feel unwanted. Chakotay was a
man with a mission.
The commander had made sacrifices for him that at first being so
wrapped in his misery Tom had barely noticed. It wasn't until
Chakotay had faced down the captain that his devotion had become
Tom hadn't got all of the details but it must have been one hell of a
battle because afterwards they had both exited the ready room,
flushed and with nostrils flaring. Tom hoped the research he'd given
Chakotay had helped in his success. He'd done a lot of reading on
prostitution for that meeting and still was. It was a fascinating
There were many Federation aligned worlds and that considered it an
honourable profession and even in some places like Risa, a celebrated
one. The official Fleet opinion on the subject was no opinion at
all. Therefore prostitution wasn't illegal between consenting adults
and the captain couldn't forbid it even if she didn't like it. She
had no choice but to adopt the company line. Tom had officially
become Chakotay's concubine that day.
Tom had hoped to celebrate that night in an appropriate fashion but
the commander stuck to his guns and had refused to touch him. He was
a little disappointed, picturing Chak as his shining knight sparked
his libido, but he was also honoured that the man thought so highly
of him. It was a bit of a catch 22.
So they didn't share sex but they shared everything else like meals,
leisure time and a bed. Tom had taught Chak to play chess and the
commander had taught him how to order his thoughts and center himself
In public the older man played his role of master expertly, fawning
and fussing over him. The crew's reaction to their relationship had
been surprising. With the exception of Harry whose abandonment still
burned a hole in Tom's heart, they had been received with tolerance
and curiosity. Some people like Sam thought even they were romantic
and sighed wistfully everytime Chakotay tenderly brushed his cheek
his fingers or called him Tommy. Those were good times but they
weren't the best.
The most rewarding nights for Tom were he lounged on the couch
reading while Chakotay did reports at the dining room table in
companionable silence. Sometimes Tom would just pretend to read and
watch the darkly handsome man work over the top of his PADD.
Chakotay would eventually notice his hungry scrutiny and squirm in
his seat awhile before excusing himself to the other room. When he
returned, Chakotay's face would be flushed in a gloriously burnished
hue that made his balls ache so badly Tom would have to make a trip
into the other room himself. Some nights, like tonight, this
happened so often they spent most of their time alone in the head
with their hands on their dicks gratifying themselves, than in the
living quarters together.
Tom broke from his musing as his roomie returned to the room and
settled back down to his reports.
It was his turn now but first he had a question to ask.
Kathryn had been furious.
Well at least she had been after she'd gotten over the initial shock
of hearing him declare Tom was his new cabin boy.
In her jealousy she had accused Chakotay of suborning the young man's
resignation so he could claim him. If Tom were still a lieutenant
she would have accused him of abusing his power of command. He
couldn't have won either way with her. Kathryn still resented his
dismissal of their relationship after their brief sojourn on New
On the planet during their forced and what Chakotay had thought what
be a permanent exile, he had entertained the idea of a romantic
relationship with the captain. He had needs and he had mistakenly
thought she had as well. When they were rescued and Chakotay was
returned to back to the realm of Paris, he had banished the incident
from his mind. Unfortunately she hadn't. She still didn't want him
but her pride had thought he'd desired her from a far or some such
In the end Fleet regulations had won out. There wasn't anything in
the regs that said the first officer couldn't maintain a concubine as
long as he or she wasn't a fellow officer or an unwilling
participant. Tom was neither, so Kathryn had relented and recorded
the pilot's new classification into the ship's log. That had been
more than a month ago and since then Chakotay's life had amazingly
been free of conflict.
With out any fuss Tom had stopped hustling pool when Chakotay had
asked him to. Through investigation he had found out the real reason
behind the pilot's second job and had taken over the expense
himself. Tom had still been contributing a lieutenant's share of
credits to keep Sandrine's a public program.
Tom also did nothing with out his permission. At first the
unsolicited capitulation had rankled Chakotay's sensibility but he
soon found himself adapting. The other night Tom had wanted to go
out with Sam and asked what time he should be home. Without a second
thought Chakotay had given him the hour of his curfew. Tom had still
been late but not measurably so.
Also with the exception of the bathroom which Tom invariably flooded
every time he showered, his home life had become a haven. His meals
were prepared for him at night and he always had a fresh uniform
ready for him in the morning but those were only niceties. The real
comfort was having Tom so totally enmeshed in his life.
Watching him brush his now longer blond hair back from his face while
contemplating his next chess move or listening to him hum off key
while he read on the couch infused such joy into Chakotay's heart as
he'd never known. He would have missed all this if he hadn't taken a
step back and redirected the course of their relationship. Tom was
not only healing but blossoming. Harry would regret not knowing this
freer, more vivid Tom but that was OK with Chakotay. The commander
had no desire to share him.
Chakotay paged forward the report he was reading, acutely aware the
humming from the couched had stopped. Tom was watching him again.
Trying to ignore the stiffening in his groin the pilot's attention
caused, he squinted harder at the vid screen. After seeing but not
digesting any information for awhile, he gave up and headed for the
After sliding and locking the door to the small damp room shut,
Chakotay released his aching penis from the confines of his now over
tight trousers. He palmed the leaking member and began to stroke its
Chakotay was in love with Tom, totally, hopelessly and irreversibly.
He wanted to show that love but until Tom was totally healed, he was
sexually off limits. However when he did get the chance to touch the
tantalizing young man again, he wouldn't make love to him. It would
be impossible. He had denied himself too long of the blond's
beautiful body that he would be incapable to anything else but to
simply fuck him. Chakotay's hand moved faster at the thought.
Lovemaking would come later. First he'd have to slake the lust that
was always there in the background of his consciousness waiting to be
fed. It was the dark part of him that wanted Tommy and not Tom.
Chakotay leaned against the door and pulled himself savagely. His
orgasm was close. He could feel the burning in his belly spreading to
"Yes Tommy, Tommy."
With his eyes falling backwards into his head, Chakotay came in long
hot spurts across the bathroom floor.
"Do you think of me when you do it?"
There was no use in pretending he didn't know what Tom talking about
but he didn't have to get chatty about it. Chakotay kept his eyes
focused on the engineering efficiency report displayed on his monitor
as he answered.
"I think of you too." Tom set his PADD down on the coffee table and
headed for the bedroom. "Nite Chak."
"Good night Tom."
Spirits he didn't need to here that. Chakotay turned off his computer
and sat staring at the dead screen. He remained where he was until
he was sure Tom was asleep.
He had to because the darkness in him was still awake.