Title: Two Steps Back - P2
Author: Cheryl Forbes
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Pairing: Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating: NC 17
Series: 2 of ?
Email address for feedback:
Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount and
not me. Whatever.

Summary: The boys discover the high cost of doing business.

The first time's for free.

Chakotay knew it was a lie. This encounter may not cost him
something as tangible as replicator credits, but it was going to cost

So what happens next? The commander had been with whores before but
they'd only been anonymous vessels in which to deposit his lust.
This was time it would be different because this time he knew the
whore's name.

"What do you like Chakotay?"

Just to touch you and to hold was the first thought that came to
mind, but that wasn't what Tom was asking. He was the paying
customer here and would be expected to receive rather than to give.

"Surprise me."

It wasn't the most articulate answer he could have come up with but
under the circumstances, Chakotay was lucky he could speak at all.
The gross indecency of the line he was about to cross was mind
boggling. Once he accepted Tom's advances he would be changed
forever and not necessarily for the better. Buying an admiral's son
for pleasure wasn't the mark of a good officer.

Tom hesitated for a moment and then fell to his knees at the
commander's feet. When he felt a hand brush his cock through his
trousers, Chakotay was surprise to realize it was hard and ready.
Some dark part of him liked Tom's subservience more the he cared to

"Lean back against the wall and close your eyes, Chak."

Looking down at the man at his feet, the commander nodded and did
what he was told.


Surprise me? What the fuck was that supposed to mean?

After seven years of doing what the big man told him, this
capitulation of control confused Tom. You didn't say that to a
subordinate and you certainly didn't say that to the man you've just
bought for sex. Chakotay should have ordered him to suck his cock or
to lay face down on the bed and not say something as inane
as 'surprise me'. It didn't matter that Tom had offered his body for
free this time, Chakotay was still supposed to be the one in charge.

Falling back on instinct for lack of direction, Tom went to the heart
of the matter. After instructing the commander to lean against the
wall for support so he wouldn't collapse when he came, he opened the
big man's pants.

At first sight of the commander's cock, his eyes when wide. The man
was hung like a bloody fucking horse. Gods with a tool like that,
Chakotay didn't have to pay him. Tom would gladly be his lover but
that's not what the commander wanted or he wouldn't have
propositioned him. This was a business transaction for Chakotay and
not a date. It would be best for Tom's sanity if he remembered that.

After pulling the commander's pants lower on his hips, Tom bent
forward the take the tip of Chakotay's cock between his lips. The
commander shuddered at the touch and Tom used his hand to steady the
shaking member.

In expanding circles he swirled his tongue around its crest,
occasionally stopping to dip into the slit at its peak. Chakotay
groaned in pleasure and thrust his hips forward. Taking the hint,
Tom stopped his subtle foreplay and tightened his lips. Breathing in
to create a vacuum he relaxed his throat and descended on the pulsing
erection. The commander cried out and met him halfway lifting his
butt and bracing his hands flat against the wall.

"Yes Tommy, oh yes, oh yes."

If Chak had been smaller, Tom would have taken great delight in
letting him fuck his mouth in wild abandon. However to avoid choking
Tom grabbed Chakotay's hips to control the depth of the commander's
thrusts, which were by now becoming fervent and rather forceful as
his desire mounted.

Tom's own erection was slapping at his stomach and he ached to
relieve its building pressure but now wasn't the time. To distract
himself, Tom let his eyes rove down the length of the pumping cock in
his mouth and up to Chakotay's face.

The commander was watching him. Normally by now his customer should
have his head thrown back and his eyes shut in ecstasy. Tom was so
unprepared for the dark gaze and for the jolt of heat it caused low
in his belly he very nearly came all over Chakotay's leg. To prevent
an infraction of etiquette, he freed a hand to squeeze the tip of his
weeping penis. When the crisis passed, he used the same hand to
cup Chakotay's heavy balls. The intense stare wavered at his touch
but not enough. Needing to finish this quickly before he embarrassed
himself, Tom probed the commander's anus with his index finger. A
scream tore from Chakotay's throat and his eyes finally shut in

Warm semen flooded Tom's mouth and as the bulk of the commander's
cock shrank gradually, the strain on his lips eased. When he was
sure Chakotay's orgasm had ended, Tom pulled back to take a view of
his handiwork.

The commander's eyes were still closed and he was breathing hard. A
fine sheen a sweat graced his brow and the beautiful tattoo. If he'd
been standing, Tom would have been tempted to kiss the delicate
marking but that would have been another breach of etiquette. Whores
don't kiss their johns tenderly after sex. So Tom satisfied his need
to touch Chakotay by pulling up his trousers and putting him to
right. The action caused the commander to open his eyes and speak.

"I have to go."

Tom sucked the inside of his bottom lip between his teeth and nodded
up at the big guy. Chakotay nodded back, slipped around him and left
the cabin.

He didn't follow the commander's exit with his eyes. He just sat on
his heels and stared at the wall in front of him.

Tom remained that way for a very long time.


The pattern of his life fell into a routine of piloting during the
day, hustling pool at night, servicing Chakotay in the wee hours of
the morning and of crying himself to sleep. All in all things
weren't going too badly for Tom. Hell if he could lose that last
bit, his time on Voyager would be pretty damn wonderful.
Unfortunately to do that, he'd have to stop seeing the commander and
that was not an option.

Tom needed Chakotay. Oh not for the credits, Tom refused to even
touch the separate account he'd placed them in, but for his

For the first time in his life Tom wasn't under somebody's thumb and
he was lost. As a child his father had been there to lay down the
rules that showed him he was loved. Later as he got older, Starfleet
had done that for him and when that had been taken from him, Tom had
headed straight into the arms of the Maquis. Hell even Auckland had
afforded him some measure of comfort despite its harsh conditions.

Anyone on the outside looking in would laugh at the idea that the
cocky Tom Paris craved the discipline he so often rebelled against
and if you would have told him that a few short weeks ago he probably
would have joined them. It hadn't been until he'd given up his rank
for Harry and that first night with Chakotay, that he'd realized how
wrong that assumption was.

Since going to the captain and asking to be a lieutenant again wasn't
possible, Harry still deserved it more than he did, Tom had latched
on to Chakotay.

Their unconventional relationship had its own set of rules. Some of
them Chakotay knew about and some he didn't. The commander didn't
allow Tom to touch him in public but only in private and when he did,
it was merely to give him head. What Tom didn't allow of himself was
to come in the commander's presence. That privilege he would reserve
for someone who wanted more than his talented mouth and tongue. He
still had some pride. So as difficult as it was, Tom did that later
after Chakotay left, still sitting on the floor and usually with
tears of humiliation streaming down his face.

It wasn't the best setup but right now it was all he had.


"Can I talk to you Commander?"

"Certainly Lieutenant have a seat."

Harry Kim sat down reluctantly looking like he'd rather be anywhere
except in his CO's office. Since his promotion, the young man had
lost some of his little boy naiveté and had bloomed into a
confident senior officer. It had been awhile since he needed

"What's up."

Harry shifted in his seat. "It's about Tom."

Suddenly the room seemed smaller and the air thinner. "What about

"I don't know and that's the problem. He's different somehow."

"He is a civilian now Harry." And my paid personal Romeo, Chakotay
refrained from adding.

"Yes I know but it's more than that. He doesn't smile anymore


"Or laugh. He used to all the time when he was a lieutenant."

Harry was right and as first officer he should have noticed it before
the raw lieutenant. Spirits knew he spent enough time with Tom, he
saw the enchanting creature almost every night. Granted he was more
interested in the other things Tom could do with his mouth when they
were alone together, but he should have detected something.

"Maybe it has to do with him asking to resign."

"He resigned? You didn't bust him?"

"No Harry leaving was his choice. Didn't he tell you?"

"No." A hint of the little boy crept back into Harry's voice. "Why'd
he do it?"

"He wouldn't tell me."

"And you let him get away with that?" Harry bolted from his chair
and suddenly the confident lieutenant was back and an angry one at
that. "Damn it Commander this is Tom Paris we're talking about here.
The guy has a history of making bad choices for all the wrong
reasons. Hell you've known him longer than I have so I'm not telling
you anything you didn't already know. I can't believe you let him

"I didn't want to Harry."

"Then why the hell did you?"

"Because he asked me to." Chakotay's voice was solemn and
quiet. "And I couldn't say no."

Empathic understanding filled the lieutenant's eyes and he sat back
down to face Chakotay. "Yeah, been there, done that." Harry shook
his head as a sardonic laugh escaped his lips. "He calls it the Paris
charm you know. Me, I call it the Paris curse but that's usually
after I've given in to him."

"Been there, done that Harry."

For the first time since entering his office, Lieutenant Kim smiled.

"I'll talk to him. Will that help?" He offered sincerely.

"Yeah thanks Commander I think it will."

With that a very relieved lieutenant left his office and Chakotay
didn't know which of them was the bigger fool. Harry for thinking
that Tom would give a damn what Chakotay said or himself for wanting
Tom to.

If it didn't have to do with fucking, he and Tom didn't have a lot to
say to each other. He had been tempted a number of times to engage
Tom in conversation after sex but had been unable to face the dull
look in the pilot's eyes. It was that same look that prevented
Chakotay from taking their encounters any further. He'd been afraid
that if he took Tom anally he'd damage the pilot's bright spirit but
it seemed it was too late. His selfishness had all ready destroyed
Tom's beautiful smile.

But he'd promised Harry he'd speak to him, so he would at least try
and he would do it now before his usually appointed hour.


"Hey Commander over here!"

Tom grabbed at Harry's arm and growled. "What the hell do you think
you're doing."

"I think I'm asking Chakotay to join us." The lieutenant leveled his
gaze at him. "You got a problem with that?"

"No. Why would give a flying fuck about who you want to drink with."

"Good. Now shutup and try to be nice. You do remember how to be nice
don't you?"

Before Tom could deliver a really good zinger back at Harry, Chakotay
arrived at their booth at the back of Sandrine's.

"Good evening gentlemen."

"Have a seat Commander."

"Thanks Harry."

Wondering when the two them had become so chummy, Tom slid over to
give Chakotay room to sit down. The commander gave him peculiar
look, then lowered his body into the booth. Tom concentrated on the
mug of beer in hand and tried to ignore the twitching in his groin
the big man's proximity caused.

"Hello Tommy." He spoke softly into Tom's shoulder.

"Don't call me that."

"Why not?"

"Because it's against the rules. I'm Tom here to you remember."

"I didn't know there were rules. I like calling you Tommy."

"No you like what I'm doing to you when you say it, that's all."

"Doing what?" The question came from the other side of the table.

Shit having Chakotay so close to him, Tom had forgotten his best
friend could hear every word they said. Chakotay didn't seem to care
but he did. It mattered to Tom what Harry thought of him and he
wouldn't think much if he knew his friend was whoring himself out to
his commanding officer.

The young lieutenant was aware that in the past Tom had sold himself
to survive and had accepted it. Bygones and all that. However if he
knew Tom had reverted back to that behavior he may not be so
accepting. Fucking for money when you were living on the streets was
one thing but doing it while living on safe comfy starship was

"Nothing Harry." He gave his friend a weak smile. "Why don't you
get us another jug of beer."

Not convinced, the young man looked suspiciously from him to Chakotay
before leaving the booth. When Harry was out of earshot, Tom turned
to the commander, his eyes blazing.

"You asshole."

"Tommy," The pilot reached under the table and pinched the
commander's thigh viciously. Chakotay grabbed his hand to stop the
pain and didn't let it go. "OK, OK Tom. We need to talk."

"We can do that later in the privacy of my cabin and not here in
front of Harry."

"We don't talk there."

"No you just fuck my mouth and leave." He was fighting tears by
now. "You don't pay me to talk Chakotay."

Letting go of Tom's hand under the table, the commander brushed away
an errant tear from his cheek with his fingertips. The fingers
lingered on his face. "Do you know how really beautiful you are?"

Chakotay was changing the subject and as the thick dark fingers
traced the curve of his mouth, Tom found he couldn't remember was the
original subject was. He closed his eyes and leaned into the big
man's caress.

"Beautiful and special. I want more."

Chakotay's words were cut off by the thunk of a beer jug on the
table. Tom's eyes flew open to see Harry standing at the end of the
booth. He wasn't sure how long the man had been standing there until
he heard him say,

"He pays you?" He spat.

Oh fuck. This was going to get messy. Tom pulled away Chakotay's
hand that was still resting on his cheek.

"Sit down Har."

"I'm not sure I can afford to." The lieutenant said between clenched

Oh that one hurt.

"That was uncalled for Lieutenant."

"Oh was it Commander? Well who the fuck are you to say so?" Tom
winced. Harry only swore when he was very, very angry. "I asked you
help him not help yourself to him."

When he felt Chakotay stiffen beside him, Tom realized how close they
were sitting, remembered his tear stained face and what kind of
picture they presented for Harry. He tried to correct the image.

"Look Harry he isn't doing anything I don't want him to."

"You want to be his whore?" Harry made no attempt to lower his voice
and heads were beginning to turn in their direction.

"Yes." Tom couldn't lie to his best friend. "It's sleazy, I know but
I can explain."

"I don't want to hear it Tom. I'm a lieutenant now and not some wet
behind the ears ensign. You can't fool me anymore. I know what you
really are now and my friend isn't it."


"Go fuck yourself Paris!" Venom spewed from the young man's lips as
he delivered his parting shot. "Oh no wait you have the commander for
that or for anyone else with a few extra credits!"

Tom wanted to chase after Harry but the commander's body blocked his
exit from the booth.

"Let him go. He's too angry to talk sense to you right now."

"But he's all I got."

"No you still have me."

"It's not the same."

"Maybe that's the problem. I think it's time we had that talk."

With all eyes on them, Chakotay took his arm and escorted him from
the holodeck.