Title:  Teaching Tom P6
Author:  Cheryl Forbes
Fandom:  Star Trek:  Voyager
Pairing:  Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating:  NC 17
Series:  6 of ?
Email for feedback:  forbesc@skyia.com
Disclaimer:  Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount and
not me.  Whatever.
 

Summary:  Confrontations one and two.
 

"Who's going to be there to tell me I wrong?"

"Oh, you can still count on me for that Kathryn."

She gave him a peeved look and then brought her knees up under her
chin like a little girl who'd been denied her favorite sweet.
Chakotay had seen the move before and wasn't fooled.  Under all that
pouting was a Starfleet captain fully versed in military tactics.
She knew a full-blown frontal assault wouldn't work on him and was
attempting an attack from behind.

"Was it something I've done?  You know I was only joking about taking
your holodeck privileges away."  She said in a soft little voice.

"I know and no, this isn't about you."  Chakotay leaned forward on
the lounge in her quarters and retrieved his teacup from the low
table.  His now former captain had been drinking coffee but was
ignoring her cup and that made him more nervous than anything else.
Kathryn loved her java.

"Then why after three years as my second in command do you want to
give that up?"  He could hear the frustration bleeding into her
voice.  She was losing her own battle with calm.

"I've met someone."

"You're throwing away your rank for a woman?"  Her knees fell from
her chin, crossing and her jaw dropped to her chest.

"A man actually."  He sipped his tea and put it down.  The shit was
about to hit the fan and he preferred not to have anything hot near
his lap when it did.

"What man?  Who's new in your life that hasn't been there the last
three years?  What's happened that,.oh no, not him."

"He's not who you think he is Kathryn.  Look at his performance the
other day on the bridge.  That surprised you, didn't it?"

"That was one day Chakotay.  He still has time to screw up both his
fledgling career and, your life."  She added, kicking him thigh with
her heels to make her point.

"He won't.  We both mean too much too him to lose."

"You're sure that's just not your gonads talking?  I knew you had a
hard on for him, but this is taking a bit far.  You don't have to
resign your commission to sleep with him."

"No but if I don't, it's still open season on him.  As a civilian I
can date him openly and more importantly, exclusively.  I can't do
that as his superior officer.  Not if I want people to take our
relationship seriously."

"How serious is serious?"

"Truth?  I don't know.  I know I love him but it has only been a
couple of weeks."

"Tom didn't ask you to do this did he?"

"No.  He doesn't even know about it."

"Then do me and yourself a favour and wait.  See where the
relationship goes before you give up your rank for him."

"In secret?  I can't do that.  Sneaking around and hiding just isn't
me and besides, it wouldn't be a true test of our compatibility.
We're good alone, that much is for certain but would we be good as a
couple?  We need to interact with others to find that out."

"And what if you're not?  He's had good time, gotten his pips and
you're out one career."

"I'm honoured by you faith in us Kathryn."

"Oh bullshit Chakotay, I mean it!  Tom has a lousy track record when
it comes to relationships.   I've known him a long time and I don't
remember him having one girlfriend or boyfriend for that matter, for
any length of time.   What's most probably going to happen is he's
going to grow tired of you and break your heart.  Owen always told me
he had a short attention span."  Kathryn leaned over and patted his
shoulder.  "I don't think it's Tom's fault but he just doesn't have
it in him to care deeply about anything or anyone."

"Then both Owen Paris and you are idiots.  I've never met a man so
sensitive and loving.  You should have seen him teaching us how to do
the Paris Maneuver on the holodeck Kathryn."

"The Paris Maneuver?"

"Yes, it's new, so it's his.  Anyway, he made it more than an
exercise for us.  He made it almost magical.  Tom showed us that
piloting a starship was akin to playing a musical instrument or
making love.  That it was a talent to be savoured, embraced and
nurtured if you really wanted to do it right.  With his insightful
tips and encouraging words, none of us, neither myself, Wildman nor
Baytart had performed so well.  He always knew when and where to say
the right thing."

"So he's a good teacher."

"And a resource I wouldn't recommend you waste.  With his talents we
could train a whole fleet of pilots."

"Noted but what about you Chakotay?   He can't fly you like he does
Voyager."

"You'd be surprised."

"Excuse me?"

"Never mind.  What I'm trying to say is, that there's a whole wealth
of caring within Tom Paris and I intend to find it, treasure it and
make it mine."

"And you have to walk away from your rank do that?"

"If I want to do it fairly, yes.  He's never been anything but honest
with me, so I owe him that much.  Keeping him as my dirty little
secret projects the wrong message.  Resigning my commission and
devoting myself to him sends the right one."

"So you'll just walk into his quarters and say `Honey I'm home' and
expect him to hand you your pipe and a slippers?"  Kathryn shook her
head.  "And you called us idiots."

"I didn't say I was going to move in with him, not right away
anyway.  We'll go slowly.  While I adjust to my new lifestyle, we'll
date, spend time with friends and get to know each other better."

"You're a romantic fool Chakotay."

"You bet your ass I am Kathryn."

"Well if it doesn't turn out with you married and pregnant don't come
running back to me asking for your command back.  If I make Tuvok my
first officer, it won't be fair for me to take that away from him
just because your happily ever after didn't turn out so happy after
all."

"That's not going to happen."

"Which part?  The babies or you crawling back to me crying the blues?"

"Both.  I won't come back and if there's children, Tom will have
them."

She looked at him with a shocked expression and then broke out into
laughter.

"What?  What?"

Gasping and sputtering his friend tried to answer him and now he was
glad she hadn't been drinking her coffee.  Otherwise he would have
been treated to a java shower.

"Don't you know?"

"Know what?"

"Oh my dear, dear friend Tom's the one with the career now, it'll be
you keeping the home fires burning."

"So?"

"Don't you get it?"

"If you'd please get to the point." Chakotay wasn't finding this
amusing at all.

"You'll just be exchanging one title for another."

"And what title would that be?"

"Mrs. Paris."

********

Why bother?

He'd been second away from initializing the cabin sanitization
program that would clean his carpets, dust his knickknacks and give
the entire cabin a mountain fresh fragrance when he stopped.  Let the
next occupant worry about rogue dust bunnies and that funny smell in
the corner of his bathroom that never seemed to go completely away.
Tomorrow he'd be moving into a larger cabin that befitted his new
rank, so why waste the credits?

Tom looked about his present apartments and surveyed the area.
Chakotay would be here shortly and except for a few discarded bits of
clothing, the way to the bedroom was clear and that was the main
thing.  He'd had gone to the expense of changing his sheets for fresh
ones so that should be enough for their last night in this litter box
of a cabin.  Well that, and making sure he was squeaky clean both
inside and out.  Hell, he even smelt a little like the Alps himself
and according to his research, Chakotay would like that.

Looking things up was one his favorite pastimes, after sex and
fleecing young Harry Kim of his weekly wages at the pool table.  So
after his training session, he'd sat himself down at his computer to
find ways to make himself more attractive to the first officer.

In the last two hours Tom had read more about the culture of the
brave settlers of Dorvan V than any other species he'd encountered.
He was now an expert on why they migrated from Earth, the spiritual
beliefs that help them to colonize the untamed world and the reasons
why they fought the Cardassians and the Federation so hard to keep
it.

For a spoilt Fleet brat, it had been a humbling experience and there
had been a number of times while reading when he'd had to fight back
tears of shame.

His lover had come from a place where home was more than the house
you lived in or the people you live with.  It was your whole world.
So how dare he have a complex about being made feel unwelcome by one
person when Chakotay and his family had whole governments to contend
with?  If he'd learned anything from his research, it was that his
personal tragedies were trivial compared with the atrocities that had
been inflicted upon the normally peaceful people of Dorvan V.

The Maquis had been spawned from survival not avarice as his father
and his cronies had told him.  Their fight wasn't about gaining
territory and maybe if he'd known then what he'd knew now he would
never would have agreed to Janeway's request to find the rebel
captain.  But then again, he would have never been reunited with
Chakotay nor would he have taken the time to see the injustice in the
first place.  A catch 22, they called it in another century he also
loved exploring.  So vast were the complexities that made up the man
he loved.

It hurt his brain when he tried to sort them all out, so in the end,
Tom had decided not to.  The situation was only hard if he chose to
make it so.  The answer to making his lover happy besides smelling
like the cliffs he grown up in, was to never let Chakotay feel
unwanted or homeless again.

Ever.

********

Beautiful.  Did he tell Kathryn Tom was beautiful?  He should have.

In the candle lit bedroom, Chakotay watched as a expression of pure
ecstasy painted his lover's glowing face as his cock slid in and out
him.  It was a work of art, a masterpiece.  There was no measure of
deception in that exulted countenance.  What Tom was feeling here and
now was real and was worth giving up something as ordinary as a job.

"Now Chak, please, please.  I need to come, I need, oh god I need."

Having distracted himself by thinking about his former captain, he
wasn't quite as ready as Tom to release his load.  He leaned forward
between the long lanky legs and took the pleading lips in a kiss, all
the while keeping his steady rhythm.  Tom was so far gone he couldn't
reciprocate the touch and let his mouth fall open slack jawed not
kissing him back but just trying to breathe.  It didn't matter.
Chakotay still bit and sucked at the sweet pink lips.

"Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck."  Tom mumbled into his mouth as his hips
and anus began to spasm.

Prepared to feed off his lover's climax and then take his own,
Chakotay increased the speed of his pumping.  It was then as he
steadied his lovemaking was he hit by a wave of such unadulterated
passion that his control was blasted from him.  In a blaze that first
assaulted his brain, then spread like wildfire through his
extremities to his penis, his orgasm was ripped from him.

It was an experience like none other he'd had before.  The intensity
of his ejaculation was almost painful as his essence was torn from
his body.  In a shivering heap he collapsed beside his lover.  Tom
immediately pulled him close to chest and began to rock him.

"Oh shit, I'm sorry Chak.  I didn't know that would happen."

"What, what," He pulled back from the cloistering body in an effort
to get some air.  Lying flat on his back he gulped out.  "Was that?"

Tom adjusted his body so they were still touching thigh to thigh, hip
to hip and chest to chest but his body weight was centered on the
mattress on not on him.

"Me getting off before you.  I'm sorry.  I didn't know it would be
like that.  It's never happened to me before."

"Oh spirits Tom, not ever?"

"Never, ever Chak."

"What was it?  I mean how did you, no that's not right, you couldn't
have done that consciously, so you wouldn't know."

"I think I might."

"What?"

"I said I think I might know what happened or at least why but I'm
not really, really sure.  I'm been kinda fucked up about the whole
thing lately."

"Tell me."

"How did you feel it first, physically or mentally?"

"Mentally, I think.  Yes, yes I sensed it first before I felt it."

"Oh shit.  Sam was right."

"Samantha?  What does she know that I don't?"

"She doesn't know anything Chak, she was just guessing and I was
hoping she was wrong."

"Wrong?  OK Lieutenant just tell me.  My heart just about exploded
from my chest and I want to know why, and I want to know, now."

"OK, but don't quote me on this but I may be an empath."

Chakotay was silent and in a room where the only sound was his own
heart beating in his ear, the silence was near defending.  When the
older man began to speak, he did so to the ceiling of the bedroom.

"That's why Tuvok wants you isn't, the mental connection.  Of course
it is, and that's why we usually come together.  You feed off me and
then you let go when I do."

"I don't mean to.  It, it just happens."  Tears born of stress began
to fall down his face.  He pushed them back with the back of his
hand.  Chakotay caught the action and moved into him brushing the wet
drops from his cheeks with his fingertips.

"Oh Poocuh, it's alright."

"Is it?  I don't think so.  I'm a fucking freak and now you know it."

"You're not."

"Aren't I?  I'm a square peg trying to fit in round hole."

"OK, I can live with being known as, what did you called it?  A round
hole?  As long as you are the square peg, that's OK with me."

"Don't be stupid.  You're Voyager's first officer.  You deserve
better."

"OK first off, stop that right now.  You are not now or ever will be
anything less than I am.  In fact when I think about it you're
probably worth more.  So that's enough of the self-depreciating
bullshit.  It's boring and you're beneath that."

"Ok fine then what's second?"

"I'm not Voyager's first officer anymore.  As of an hour ago, I
resigned."

"What!" Any of the languid bliss he felt after making love that
hadn't been shunted from his system from admitting to Chakotay about
his possible nature was now blown completely from his senses.

"I'm a civilian, which means if I want to, I can walk up to you in
the messhall and kiss you without the crew freaking out."

"News flash Chakotay, they'll still freak.  Giving up your rank
doesn't change who you are or who I am to them."

"Not my problem."

"No it will be mine, or it will be just as soon as you perform that
afore mentioned kiss."

"Not for long.  You're a lieutenant now Tom.   If you wield your rank
properly, they won't care about your personal life and come to
respect you.  I can teach you do that."

"Oh can you?  Well isn't that nice."  He grabbed Chakotay by the
scruff of the neck with both hands.  If the older man had had a
collar, he would have throttled him with it.

"Are you fucking crazy Chak?"

"Not today and not ever again.  I'll trade my rank for you any day."

"Oh no pressure there."

"I love you Tom."

"And holy jumping warp fields, I love you too Chak but to give up
your commission for me.  That's just nuts."

"It's not and I won't keep you like a skeleton in the closet.  I'm
not ashamed of you nor will I let my feelings for you damage your
chances of being Voyager's chief pilot.  If I relinquish my rank, I
can be with you without question and it won't damage your career."

"Oh fuck what career.  I only got it yesterday, it won't be all that
much of hardship to lose it now."

"Then we're back to square one, only both of us are damaged in the
process.  I'll be Voyager's first officer having an illicit affair
with a passenger that isn't any good except for fucking.  Not that I
really care but you should.  You're more than that Tom.  You could be
Voyager's chief pilot.  She's been looking a long time for someone
like you."

"Yeah maybe."

"Not maybe, definitely.  I've told you before.  It's what you were
born to do."

"OK so I win and the ship loses.  But if I was born to fly this ship,
you were born to command its crew.  How can I let you sacrifice
yourself for me?"

"You don't.  It was never your choice."

"No, no, no.  You go back to the captain right now and tell her that
you change your mind and that you made a mistake."

"She'd love that, but no."

"Dammit Chakotay!  There has to be another way!"

"What's the matter Tom?  Are you afraid to be seen with me in public?"

"Before or after the crew kicked my teeth out for taking you away
from your command?  Shit Chak, in a perfect world, I'd love to walk
into Sandrine's and blatantly flirt with you all evening but, hello,
this is real life and not a fantasy."

"I didn't think this would be this difficult."

"I know sweetness and I do understand where you're coming from, only
it just isn't plausible."

"We can't go back to being where we were before Tom."

"Why not.  I've read that on other ships, there have been couples on
the command crew."

"You're talking about the Enterprise F and the first officer and
counselor were married, not just sleeping together."

"Is that a proposal?"  Did those words just come from his mouth?

Chakotay got very, very quiet and those gorgeous brown orbs he had
come to worship these last few weeks, wandered up to the ceiling.
When his lover began to speak again, his eyes remained upward.

"I wasn't counting on this so soon."

"I know, me neither."

"I wanted to date you.  Take you out and have fun."  Chakotay's eyes
lost their fascination with the ceiling and looked at him
smiling.  "I wanted to flirt in Sandrine's."

"Yeah?"  He kissed the end of Chakotay' nose.  "You gotta know any
line you would have laid on me would have worked."

"Really?"  He gazed back into darkness upper most part of his room
and whispered.  "Do you want to marry me Tom?"

If ever there was a six four thousand latinum question, this was it.
This was literally an all or nothing situation.  If he said no,
Chakotay may go back to being first officer but he would lose him
forever.  However, if he said yes, he'd be conforming to the oldest
institution on record.  It would mean shaving off his rough edges to
fit in the round hole. Could he do that?  Tom looked into his lover's
handsome profile and decided.   Like he ever had a choice anyway.

"Yes, I think I do."

Chakotay shifted on his side and pulled him into a full body lock.
Even if he wanted to, Tom couldn't go anywhere.  His lover and best
friend was holding him close to his breast and it was then he found
was he'd been looking for all his life.

"You do?  OK, you do.  A short contract then, three years, nothing
fancy?"

"Will you renounce you resignation if I accept your proposal?"

"Oh spirits, I proposed.   Well, yes oh damn.  I don't know."

"Chak?"

"Yes."

"Yes, what?"

"I'll be Voyager's first officer if you'll be my husband.  It isn't
the best solution to our situation but right now it's the only one
unfortunately, I can think of.  So yes, I want you to marry me Tom."

It wasn't the most romantic proposal he'd ever gotten but it was the
only one that ever meant something.   Chakotay through all his
confusion didn't really know what he was truly offering.

"Then the answer is yes Chak."

Chakotay didn't say anything after that.  He just folded him his big
strong arms and held him.   He wasn't aware what he given, but Tom
was.  Besides all the politics, most of which he really didn't give a
damn about, Chakotay had offered him something he'd been searching
his whole life for.

A home.
 

TBC