Title: Teaching Tom P4
Author: Cheryl Forbes
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Pairing: Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating: NC 17
Series: 4 of ?
Email for feedback: email@example.com
Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.
Summary: Chakotay learns what it means to spend time with Tom and
Tom learns what his time Chakotay means. The results are uneven.
Works well with others. Improving both learning and performance.
Increase in problem solving skills.
It was a stellar appraisal and one that would please the captain but
probably irritate the hell out of Kathryn. Either way he didn't
care. Tom was doing well in the flight simulations and he was
exceptionally proud of his student. Now if he could get him to stop
touching him and calling him Chak he'd be ready for short stints of
active duty. He supposed he'd have to lead by example. Leaning back
in his chair he stretched out the day's activities and smiled.
Chakotay had been doing his fair share of touching during the simm.
At one point he'd caught himself massaging the back of the younger
man's neck while leaning over him from behind to check a course
calculation. The action wasn't even near regulation but it had been
fun. They had ended the simm by making out like animals on the floor
in front of the command chairs. The tumultuous loving making was a
sort of send off. Tomorrow they would have live bodies replacing a
few of the holographic ones on the simulated bridge and would have to
act like proper Starfleet officers.
Hitting the send button, he logged off Tom's terminal, picked one of
the many reports he'd been ignoring lately and flopped down on the
lounge. In last week he had spent most of his time here in Tom'
cabin, playing chess, sharing meals, talking and fucking until they
passed out until morning. He had been reasonably careful not let
anyone see his comings and goings but had been enjoying himself too
much to go to any extremes.
If anyone took the time to investigate, they would easily be able to
determine that Voyager's first officer hadn't slept in his own
quarters for days. Even tonight, while Tom was at an `appointment',
he was in his student's cabin relaxing in sweats making himself at
home while reviewing staffing schedules. The younger man had said he
wouldn't be long and had insisted he wait for him here.
Lying back and throwing his feet up on the couch, Chakotay tossed the
PADD aside and wondered where exactly his lover was. He hadn't asked
because he suspected he wouldn't have liked the answer.
Tom had said he had two lovers. It irked him that others saw his
amazing transformation from a cold cocky cynic into a playful, loving
man. He would prefer it if that special person belonged to him
alone. Damn it, he knew this would happen but didn't know what to do
about it now that it had.
Should he tell Tom to stop sleeping with the other officers? He
wanted to but how could he? The addictive man was not his boyfriend
but his illicit lover. Only thing going public with their
relationship would give him was the right to demand monogamy but
coming out would tarnish the younger man's career before it even
started. It wouldn't do his own professional reputation any good
either but that was his to sacrifice if he desired. He'd left
Starfleet before and could do it again, if the reason was strong
enough and it was fast becoming so.
Chakotay liked living with his own fallen angel. A man who could
fuck him with wild abandonment one moment and in the next, love him
tenderly. The complexity and depth of emotion he saw every minute in
his crystal blue eyes set fire to his soul and seared his heart. Tom
Paris was no longer the just the wizard of his dreams, he was also
the magic of his waking life.
Closing his eyes, Chakotay shuddered as the reality of what emotion
he was feeling hit him. When he heard the doors to the cabin swish
open, he whispered his beloved's name.
"She's so beautiful when she sleeps Samantha."
"Hush, you'll wake her. Come into the other room with me."
Standing the doorway of her daughter's bedroom, she watched as Tom
kissed the spines on the sleeping child's forehead one at a time and
then rose from the edge of the mattress.
"Good night beautiful." He whispered as he backed out of the room
not losing sight of Naomi once.
He didn't speak again until they were sitting on the couch in the
living room. Tom ran his hands over the knees of his blue jeans.
"I've missed her this last week. Thank you for letting me see her."
"You're welcome and she's missed you. We all have."
"I know, I'm sorry."
"I can't speak for Tuvok but you're forgiven."
"I can't stay."
"Another test tomorrow?"
"No, oh fuck Sam. I can't do this anymore."
"Lie. The reason I haven't becoming over doesn't have to do with my
training, it has more to do with my teacher."
"You're sleeping with Chakotay, aren't you?"
"Sleeping, eating, playing, working, you name it and we're doing it."
"Ah. So you don't hate him as much as you thought."
"No but I want to."
"I don't understand?"
"Oh no, you don't.
"I think I do. You love him and you hate it."
"What? No I don't."
"Yes for the first time in your life, I think you're truly are in
love and you're frightened to death of it."
"Why would I? Isn't being in love a good thing? Why would I be
scared of that? It doesn't make sense Sam."
"Your right it doesn't and most people wouldn't be afraid of such a
wondrous emotion but you're not most people Tom."
"Oh thanks a hell of a lot Sam."
"No listen to me. I know you Tom. You spend most of your time
running away from the world and pretending you don't give a shit but
it's all a lie. You want to be caught Tom."
"Not by him. He confuses me and it hurts."
"I know sweetness. You feel love, hate, caring and deceit more
deeply than anyone I've ever known. So much so that sometimes I
think you may be a touch empath. Have you ever been tested?"
"I don't know, maybe as a kid but if all that's true wouldn't I be
able to tell how someone feels about me?"
"Maybe not. Most empaths lead solitary lives because they can't
discern intense emotions when they're directed at them. Besides, if
you are, you'd be untrained to handle them."
"I'm screwed then."
"Yes I think that just about sums it up."
"Oh very funny. I'm having a nervous breakdown and you're making
"I don't joke about love Tom. You know you're going to have to tell
him how you feel."
"And then what Sam? Assuming he feels the same way and I'm not
entirely sure he does, what then? Ride away into a super nova
together? Shit Samantha, we'll have to because there's no place for
us here on Voyager."
"But if you get your pips and make lieutenant,"
"He'll still be first officer and won't be able to lay a hand on me
in public for fear of losing the crew's respect and losing his
position. The ship's welfare is more important to him than I am."
"You can't know that."
"I do. He told me so."
"What a prick."
"Yeah I know but he's a incredibly gorgeous one."
"Oh give me a break. So what are you going to do?"
"I don't know. I used to have a plan but he's blown it out of the
water. So for now, until I can think of another one, I'll just be
with him in anyway I can."
"But he's using you."
"Everybody does Sam, including you."
"But I care about you and if I could be with you I would."
"Yes I know but you have a prior commitment just like he does."
"It's OK Sam, really."
"It's over between us isn't it?"
"Yeah, I think so and Tuvok too. I can't handle all three of you at
"And when it comes down to the wire, Chakotay wins."
"Even when he doesn't deserve to, yeah. Who needs dignity anyway?"
"Have you spoken to Tuvok about this?"
"No, I wasn't even planning on telling you."
"He won't take the news as graciously as I did."
"Yeah, I know. Beware the strong silent types."
"I mean it Tom. You shouldn't take him so lightly. Vulcans aren't
known for their logic when it comes to love. What other race do you
know of that goes crazy and then dies for it?"
"Only if they're bonded Sam and I remember you once telling me we're
"Yes well, all I know is that Tuvok has been more than a little
concerned about your where abouts this last week. I expect when you
get home, you'll find him there waiting for you."
"Oh my god."
"What is it?"
"Chak's at home waiting for me to come to bed."
"He stays the night?"
"What? Yeah I know it's freaky. You gotta help me Sam. If Tuvok
finds him there.-"
"Let's go." Samantha grabbed his hand and began to lead him to the
door. She almost fell when he stopped dead in his tracks.
"She's sleeping, she'll be fine but in a moment Chakotay might not
be. He's not one of my favorite people anymore so I'm finding it
real hard to not to cheer Tuvok on but I rather not have to pull
double shifts at the helm while he recovers in Sickbay."
"He's not all that bad Sam. Actually sometimes he's pretty nice."
"Oh just shut up Tom and move."
"I believe your presence here is a breach of security Commander."
"And yours isn't `Lieutenant' Commander?"
"No. Mr Paris has willingly given me his access codes."
"Like hell. Why would he do that?"
"That is none of your business Commander. Now I suggest you leave."
"Oh spirits, not you."
His commanding officer had removed himself from the lounge but had
made no attempt to leave the premises. He should not be here. No
part of the training program required the first officer to be in
Thomas' quarters this time of day, let alone without his presence.
Unfamiliar feelings of confusion and propriety warred within him.
His relationship with the physically and mentally compatible blond
was an essential facet to his well being on Voyager and when it was
threatened, it affected him on a visceral level. Primal feelings of
Vulcans of yesteryear emerged in his breast unbidden when this most
precious connection was jeopardized. He had only tolerated Ensign
Wildman's involvement because she did not threaten his position.
Samantha, as she insisted he call her understood that a time might
come when he would require the young man's services exclusively. The
surprising sensitive woman had agreed that if his cycle began while
they were still in the Delta quadrant, she would step aside. With
Commander Chakotay he had no such agreement and it disturbed him.
One of his first concerns upon being stranded light years away from
his mate was how he would survive his next Ponn Farr without her.
After the incident with the Caretaker, Tuvok had assessed Voyager's
remaining inhabitants for a suitable replacement if such was needed.
The list had been frighteningly short.
Ironically the first officer's sense of spirituality and esthetic
qualities had made him a viable candidate. Chakotay was a attractive
being and Tuvok would have no qualms about joining with him.
Unfortunately he was psy-null and would have been unable to make the
mental connection necessary to quell the fires of his primitive
desires. Thomas Eugene Paris however, while not so attractive had
the required ability.
The young outsider was wildly emphatic but he was formally
untrained. A dangerous mix, especially when talking about a man of
his age and level of sensitivity. It was beyond Tuvok's
comprehension that as a young boy, Thomas had not been taken aside
and made aware of how to use his talents. On Vulcan, his gifts
would have been nurtured and brought to their full potential. He
would have been a valued ambassador or negotiator and not as he
turned out, a rebel for hire.
However while Tuvok had mourned the lost possibilities in the
scandalous man's life, he had also recognized his parent's failure to
raise him properly as his fortune. With careful management he could
use Thomas' undirected empathic abilities to stave off and suffer
through if necessary, the cyclic urges of his heritage. It was also
fortunate that the younger man was of a kind disposition and had
understood his striking need.
The unconventional liaison had first been an effort and then as time
when by a less than that. Thomas' heartfelt passion and unshielded
responses when they touch were so raw and honest it was impossible to
react impassively to them. Eventually Tuvok found himself allowing
small bits of emotion to interrupt his normally bereft orientation.
According to doctrine such feelings were forbidden but they were also
for him, fiercely hoarded. It was closest he'd ever been or would be
to love and he did not intend to lose it. Instinctual urges aside,
a possessiveness akin to nothing he had ever known demanded that the
beautiful empath belong to no one but him. The first officer's
presence in his quarters threatened that edict. He took a step
closer to the offensive man.
"You will leave Commander."
"He wants me to stay."
"Perhaps, but I do not."
"And why is that? Is this a security issue? Do you think I'm here
to hurt him?"
"No, I do not."
"So it's personal. What is he to you Tuvok?"
"You would not understand."
"Not good enough." The commander moved away from the couch to stand
uncomfortably close to him. "If you want me to leave you're going to
have to tell me why."
"I will not."
"You're fucking him aren't you?"
"My relationship with Thomas is not an issue. These are private
quarters and your presence here violates security regulations."
"If he wants me here, it doesn't and I expect to, like I have for the
last week to be here until morning."
"You infer a sexual relationship and that as well is violation.
Thomas Paris is your direct report. It is unseemly."
"I'm aware of that." The commander looked up at him
defiantly. "I'm also aware that I'm not the only one crossing a
line here. So if you don't tell Kathryn about me, I won't tell her
about you. Agreed?"
In one swift movement Tuvok brought his hand up seizing Chakotay
firmly under his chin. While his index and forefinger pressed
against the plain of the commander's the cheek, his thumb bit into
his jugular. If the first officer moved in any way not to his
liking, he could restrict the blood flow to his brain causing
unconsciousness or if necessary with a little added pressure, break
his weak Terran neck.
"You will leave and in the future you will restrict your contact with
Thomas to the professional."
"Fuck you Tuvok." The commander spat in a strangled voice.
"That answer is unacceptable."
Reverting to the savage passions of his ancestors, Tuvok slowly began
As Chakotay's eyes glazed over, Voyager shifted to the left, hard.
"Oh shit Samantha!"
"Stow it Lieutenant and get your ass up from the floor."
"I'm up, I'm up." Tom hauled his butt up off the cold hard decking
after being knocked down by the ship's sudden and abrupt sideways
slip. Samantha was already up after falling as hard or harder than
he had. "Now tell me where the hell we're going?" He yelled after
"Our posts!" She yelled over her shoulder as she ran for the turbo
lift. Tom caught up with her at the end of the corridor as she
waited for the lift.
"I don't have one. I'm a civilian remember?" He said trying to
catch his breath.
"Not anymore." She cradled her left arm gingerly with her
right. "It's a red alert, so all officers, up to and including you
Tom Paris are required to report to the bridge."
"What the fuck am I suppose to do there? I haven't even been there
in real life, only simulations."
"You'll do whatever the captain tells you to."
"Oh fuck. And what about you? You're hurt Sam."
"Only a little. I'll survive."
The lift came and they entered. As Sam called the deck, Tom ran his
fingers lightly over her left shoulder and she winced. Beside her
obvious pain, the triage training he'd picked here and there over the
years told him it was dislocated.
"You need to be in Sickbay."
"Is that so my sweetness?" Sam said smiling through her gritted
"Yeah it is, Ensign and as your ranking officer I order you to go
"Too late my sweet lieutenant." The doors slid open. "We're here."
Rushing out, they stepped into controlled mayhem. The heightened
level of fear and tension barely kept in check hit Tom sharply like a
slap in the face. A towed headed figure whose concentration and
confidence flowed out to him in palatable waves, turned in her chair
at their entrance.
"Ensign Wildman take the helm!" The captain barked.
Standing beside Sam, Tom's eyes took in the large foreword screen
filled with small angry ships, Baytart sprawl on the deck
unconscious, Dalby at Tactical and most importantly the vacant first
officer's chair. He didn't know what the hell was going on but he
did know whatever it was, it was going to taking some fancy flying to
get them out of it and at the moment Samantha wasn't up to the task.
Moving past her and stepping over poor Pablo, Tom took the post he'd
only commanded in simulation.
"Course heading Captain!" He called over his shoulder as soon as sat
There was a short pause before a response came.
"Anywhere! Just get our ass of here Lieutenant!"
Breathing deeply, he threw himself back to the holodeck. If he could
believe this was only a flight simm, maybe he could get through it
without panicking and oh yeah, without killing everyone on board.
Shades of a joyride he once took near Caldik Prime with some buddies
in a stolen shuttle threatened to shatter his concentration but he
shove them aside. Now was not the time to reminisce about the past.
"Hold on!" Tom yelled as he maneuver the big ship hard to port on
impulse directly towards one of the larger moons in the system.
"Lieutenant bring her around!" Janeway screamed from behind him.
"No not yet!" Playing the helm like a virtuoso, Tom balanced
thrusters and evened out the inertial dampeners. Taking a quick look
up, he saw that the hoard of smaller vessels were changing their
trajectory in pursuit and increased Voyager's velocity by a third.
"Lieutenant pull up now!"
Tom spun around in his chair to face his agitated captain. "I said in
a moment! Trust me!" He said emphatically hoping she would.
Janeway nodded to him stone faced and he turned back around.
Fighting back his joy at flying the big ship in deference to the
seriousness of the situation, Tom got back to business. They were
almost at the moon's terminal. One, two, three! As they crested the
dead planet's horizon, Tom threw Voyager into warp and in what he was
sure looked like a blurred rainbow to the little ships just before
crashed into the moon's surface. Moments after that, they were in
the safety of deep space.
"Ensign Kim report!"
Absentmindedly Tom listened as his friend spouted off the many minor
but not serious structural faults his maneuver had caused. He was
too busy watching the white stars whiz past the forward view port to
give them much mind. This was what heaven must look like.
Shit Chak, I wish you were here to see this, to feel this. Oh you
were so right. This `is' what I was born to do.
"Nice flying Lieutenant Paris."
Tom turned from the helm at the mentioned of his name and rank. For
the first time since this whole business began, it meant something to
him. It wasn't a joke anymore. It fit.