Title: The Image of a Man - P2forbesc@skyia.com
Author: Cheryl Forbes
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Pairing: Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating: NC 17
Series: 2 of 2
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Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.
Summary: Tom gets the chance to do what he's always dreamed of.
What in the hell did he think he was doing?
A little song and dance on the holodeck wasn't going to change
Chakotay's mind no matter how good of a dancer Tom was. So knowing
that, what did he hope to accomplish by calling the commander out?
Maybe he just wanted to the commander to understand his wayward
feelings or what was more likely, this was just another excuse to see
that gloriously dark body again and feed his fantasies. The latter
made more sense.
This was the opportunity of a lifetime. Tom had heard the discussion
in Sickbay regarding his doubtful ability to reason and although he
didn't put any stock in it, he knew he could use it to his
advantage. Anything he did in his altered state, Tom could blame on
temporary insanity later.
The pilot laughed mentally. It was pretty good reasoning for a crazy
man. As joy infused his soul, the scene Tom had created for the
commander in the holodeck sparkled.
It was breath taking.
Chakotay looked up into the clear blue sky as the cries of seagulls
caught his ear. He lifted his hand to shade his eyes from the
brilliant sun and watched them soar a while before kicking off his
slippers to traverse across the sand towards the shore.
As he walked a warm baja wind caressed his face and white crested
waves lapped lazily at the shell-dappled beach in a harmonic rhythm
that soothed his jangled nerves. Relaxing into the scene, Chakotay
removed his tee shirt and rolled up the cuffs of his sleep pants to
wet his feet in the surf. With his hands on his hips, he scanned the
coast for Tom.
Nothing man made, including the lost pilot entered his field of
vision. Following the line of surf, Chakotay moved down the beach.
After a few meters he detected a shimmering in the holo-matrix and
encountered a lone brightly woven blanket spread over the sand.
Taking it as an invitation, Chakotay lowered himself crossed legged
down the replica of his grandmother's rug and waited. He didn't have
to wait long.
In a swirl of coloured light, Tom appeared before him or at least a
version of the man did. This image of the pilot wore his blond hair
shoulder length and his normally ivory skin was tanned. Fascinated
by the beautiful being before him, Chakotay's eyes followed a line of
golden hair down the younger man's flat belly that disappeared under
the waistband of his swim trunks. When he heard Tom's chuckle, he
corrected his visual trajectory and looked up into a familiar bright
Embarrassed by his reaction to the pilot's near nude form, Chakotay
answered gruffly. "It's different."
"Only a little. Most of this," Tom swept his hand down over his body
before depositing himself beside the commander. "Is me. I just
added a little colour."
Concentrating on the crash of the waves to bleed the blush out his
cheeks, Chakotay got to the point of his summons.
"I'm here. Now what do you want?"
"Well besides universal peace and your body slathered in honey,"
"Tom." His voice was curt.
"OK, OK maybe honey not the best lube for a beach." Tom shifted on
the blanket to face him. "Seriously Chak all I want is for you to
understand how I feel."
"Come back to your body and we can discuss it."
"No that's the real world and in that reality I can't have you."
"You can't have me here either."
"Maybe not but at least here, in our own private baja we can turn the
emotional safeties off. This is a dream Chakotay. We can do
anything here and tomorrow when we wake up it will be over."
"And you'll go back?"
"Yeah and I promise I never make a pass you again."
Chakotay eyed the pilot speculatively. Desire fairly beamed from the
man's crystal blue orbs as the ocean breeze threaded its wispy
fingers through his sun-bleached hair.
The doctor had been wrong. This collection of thought patterns was
perfectly sane and uncannily cunning. No child would come up with
such a hedonistic plan. This was just another sexual ploy but
Chakotay admitted it might also be an opportunity for him to break
the enchantment that had bound his spirit for so long.
So tonight the commander would explore his feelings and tomorrow hold
the pilot to his promise. Intending to gain some control of the
situation and seduce his would be seducer; Chakotay turned his body
to face Tom's.
"Show me how you feel Tom."
Holy fuck Chakotay said yes.
It had been what he was hoping for, but Tom was unprepared for the
seemingly easy victory. Suddenly unsure on how to proceed, he rose
from the blanket and walked towards the shore. Squishing his toes
into the wet sand, Tom focused on the sensation. It was cool and
slippery causing the hairs on his arms to stand on end. The pilot
let his breath out in relief as his programmed form behaved as his
corporal one would, well so far anyway.
The commander came up behind him. So gently that Tom thought it was
the wind, Chakotay lifted a tress of his new longer hair and tucked
it behind his ear. A soft kiss was planted on the now exposed skin
of his neck and Tom trembled.
"Do you like that?" A sultry voice whispered into Tom's ear.
"Yes." Tom leaned back into Chakotay and closed his eyes.
"And do you like this?"
Strong hands slid up his sides and over his chest. As the kisses
returned to his nape, Tom felt his nipples captured and teased into
hardness. Arousal began to flare through his neural pathways but
while it felt incredible, it was also impersonal. Except for the
kissing, Tom could pretty much do this much for himself. Needing to
feed off Chakotay's mutual passion, he twisted in the big man's
embrace to gaze into his eyes but when he did, Tom saw only confusion
"Did I do it wrong?"
The commander was only going through the motions and that wasn't good
enough. In every one of Tom's fantasies, Chakotay had wanted to fuck
him and had taken supreme joy in bringing Tom to orgasm. The reality
of the commander's indifference was destroying the dream and it
wasn't worth the sacrifice. It would leave him with nothing to go
back for. Tom pulled from the big man's arms.
"No Chak you did it just right but you don't have to do it anymore."
He walked back to the blanket. "You can go."
"Go?" Chakotay followed him. "But nothing happened."
"Yeah something did. It just wasn't what I expected." His
commanding officer stepped closer and searched his face.
"Tom we need to resolve this."
"No we don't." Fighting back his sorrow, Tom accessed the computer to
program a facade of composure on his holographic face. "Look
Commander don't worry, tomorrow I'll go back and I promise I'll never
ask you for anything like this again."
"I'm not leaving."
Unable to digitally manipulate his emotions like he could his
appearance, Tom's disappointment dissolved into anger at the man's
"Fine then stay, I don't give a flying fuck. I'll leave."
Indulging himself one last time, Tom grabbed the commander's face and
gave him full opened mouth kiss. It was hard and brutal and not the
least bit loving. Without releasing his hold on Chakotay's mouth, he
left the holodeck.
As he winked out of existence, Tom thought he felt Chakotay begin to
kiss him back but dismissed the fanciful thought blaming it on his
over active imagination.
In the dimness of Sickbay, Chakotay ran his fingers gently through
the silky hair of Tom's unconscious form. His raging emotions were
in direct contrast to his tender gesture.
After Tom's hasty exit from holodeck two, Chakotay had fallen flat on
his ass on his grandmother's wedding rug. Every synapse in his brain
had fired simultaneously with understanding. With one savage kiss,
Tom had stripped Chakotay of restraint and a barrier in his mind had
Desire had no gender and love was beyond control.
Since the first day he had met the infuriating blond, Tom had become
a part of him and now he knew why. Chakotay had fallen in love with
Tom. It was only because the package of his desire was so different
from what he was normally used to, that he failed to recognize the
emotion for what it was. It had only when it had been thrown in face
like a bucket of cold water, that the commander had awoken to its
Unfortunately the pilot had fled writing him off as a lost cause
before he'd had a chance to tell him. Cursing the young man's lack
of faith, Chakotay had spent the better part of an hour searching the
ship's systems for him in vain before giving up and coming to Sickbay.
"Can I help you with something Commander."
Chakotay broke from his silent rage and addressed the EMH with his
usual calm keeping his eyes focused on his beloved.
"Thank you Doctor but we're fine." He ran the tips of his fingers
across the pilot's pale brow. "Or we will be just as soon as he
"Yes we." Chakotay turned defiantly towards the EMH. Spirits he was
sick to death of holograms tonight. "Do you have a problem seeing
"No Commander I wasn't the one with the image problem." With that
caustic remark, the holo-doc retreated back into his office.
Tom pushed himself away from the terminal in his quarters after
reading another message from Chakotay begging to speak to him.
Damn it, the man didn't know when to leave well enough alone. It was
fucking first officer's need to play ship's councilor that kept the
issue alive. After returning to his body, he had kept up his end of
the bargain and had stayed away. Tom wanted nothing more than to
forget the love and the resulting pain the big man had awoken in him
on the holodeck.
Hell he hadn't even fantasized about dark man these last couple of
days because it wasn't just about fucking anymore. It was about
making love and unlike before, it hurt too much to even think about
something he'd never have. Now if only Chak would give up his
incessant badgering and leave him alone, Tom could get on with his
Heaving his dejected body from the chair, Tom headed for his bedroom
with intention of turning in early. Halfway to his destination his
vision blurred and floor beneath his feet softened causing his
balance to fail.
As Tom reached for the doorjamb to catch his fall, it vanished and he
fell face first into sand.
"What the hell?"
"Are you OK?"
Tom flipped over on to his back, spitting sand and shaking the excess
out of his blond hair. When he was done getting the beach out of his
mouth, he used it to talk.
"Fuck Chakotay send me back!"
"I will but first you have to do something for me."
"What?" The pilot sat up.
"Make me feel spectacular."
"What are you afraid of Tom?"
"Nothing. Send me back Chakotay."
"Fine. Then I'll leave the old fashioned way."
The pilot got up and began to head for the holodeck's arch. Not about
to lose him after breaching protocol to get him here, Chakotay
blocked Tom's exit.
"Computer engage security lock, Chakotay Beta-two."
A beautiful face flushed in anger rounded on him. Spirits how could
have he gone so long without noticing how incredibly attractive the
young man was.
"I don't want this anymore Chak, let me go."
Tom rolled his eyes in frustration. "No? Can't you say anything
Not being able to pass up an opening like that, the commander stepped
up to his reluctant lover. Tom made to move back but Chakotay
stopped him by curling his palm around the young man's nape.
"Yes I can say I want you."
"And I need you."
"And I love you." Chakotay kissed Tom's lips softly. "And I need
your help to do all three."
Bafflement replaced anger as Tom's hands came up to clutch at the
jacket of Chakotay's uniform.
"This can't be real. You're not into men."
"No not other men but I am into you and once upon a time I thought
you were into me." Chakotay pried Tom's trembling fingers from his
chest and held them tight. "Has that changed Tom? If it has, I will
send you back to your cabin."
"You want me to make you feel spectacular?"
In his confusion the pilot had gone back to the commander's original
request. Chakotay wasn't sure if his declaration of love had even
gotten through to Tom's muddled brain and as a result felt guilty for
pushing the blond too hard. He'd had a rough couple of days and
hearing his commanding officer say I love you was probably more than
he could process right now. Trying to give the pilot back some
measure of control, Chakotay phrased his response carefully.
"Yes and I want to make you feel the same way but you'll have to show
Clarity returned to the crystal blue eyes that had haunted his soul
for longer than Chakotay could remember.
"I could do that." Tom looked at him with hunger. "And don't care if
I'm dreaming or not I'm going to make you want me so bad you'll beg
me to take you."
This time it was Chakotay's turn to tremble.
I want you. I need you. I love you.
Chakotay had said all of those words and now it was too late for him
to take them back. They had all ready burned over the previous scars
that marred his soul and were indelible. The enormity of the healing
so overwhelmed Tom that he found his own words back would be
inadequate. Only actions would suffice. This would be Chakotay's
first time and Tom would make sure it was what he asked for,
"We'll need a blanket and some lube."
"Over there." Chakotay's voice was unsteady for the first time since
his kidnapping as he pointed towards the edge of the surf.
"OK baby lets go."
When they reached their destination Chakotay began removing his
clothes. He had his jacket off before Tom could stop him.
"Your job are the shoes Chak, the rest is mine."
Nodding, the commander kicked off his footwear and stood in the
middle of the blanket waiting.
"Now just watch. I want you to see what you're getting."
In slow measured movements designed to tantalize, Tom disrobed. As
each piece of clothing hit the beach and more of his white flesh was
revealed, Chakotay's breathing deepened. The man's arousal stoked
his own and by the time he was totally nude, Tom's cock was bursting
"Can I touch you?"
"Of course." Tom spread his arms. "All that you see is yours."
"Mine." Chakotay said decisively and reached forward to splay his
hand over the right side of his chest. "All of you? Even your
The hand moved upward slipping around Tom's neck and for the third
time in as many days, their lips met. However this time it was
Chakotay doing the kissing. After first tasting his bottom lip then
his top, the commander's tongue slid over his teeth and into Tom's
mouth. Moaning the pilot gave himself over to the commander's oral
ministrations thinking this was one thing the big guy needed no
When he felt Chakotay erection bump against his hip in time with the
pulsing tongue, he broke the contact for fear of coming prematurely
over the front of the commander's trousers. With more haste than he
had planned, Tom quickly removed the big man's uniform and pushed him
down to the blanket.
"Now it's time for me to touch you."
Reclining on one elbow, Tom lay beside Chakotay, eating up with his
eyes the body that had been the stuff of dreams. The dusky skin was
rich in texture and scented lightly with musk and soap. Tom reached
out a hand to stroke its beauty starting at the commander's chin,
trailing down over his throat to his chest. After doing a figure
eight encircling both dark nipples, the pilot's fingers flicked over
the washboard stomach to rest just below Chakotay's navel. Now it
was time to taste.
Biting Chakotay's bottom lip affectionately, Tom's tongue started to
follow the course his hand had taken. However this time he spent
more time on each nipple, tasting, tugging and sucking until the
commander began to squirm before traveling downwards. The next part
would involve both tasting and touching.
Sitting back on his heels between the darker man's legs, Tom looked
at Chakotay through his lashes. The first officer's arms were thrown
back over his head and his dark eyes were closed. Drinking in
Chakotay's ecstasy, Tom frantically explored the older man's rigid
cock and heavy balls with his hands. When the tip of his index
finger dipped into the commander's anus, Chak's eyes flew open.
"What are you going to do?"
Chakotay's question reminded Tom that this wasn't the voracious lover
from his fantasy but a man who was a virgin when it came to same sex
intercourse. Oh he probably knew the mechanics of it, being the
ship's councilor but his hands on experience was limited. Tom needed
to shelve his wild visions for the time being and concentrate on
making Chakotay's first time pleasurable. Lovingly, almost
reverently, he slowed his pace and stroked the insides of nervous
commander's upper thighs.
"I'm going to make love you if you let me." Tom let his fingers inch
a little higher to the hipbones. "You know how that works right?"
Chakotay began to relax into his tender caresses. "Sort of. What do
"Nothing." He brushed at the moisture that seeped from Chakotay's
penis with a fingertip. "Just lay back and trust me. OK?"
Tom placed his damp fingers into his mouth and licked them.
Chakotay's eyes follow the action with interest.
Shifting back, Tom lowered his head and took the head of Chakotay's
cock between his lips and tongued the slit. After a few teasing
flicks, the pilot felt strong hands in his blond hair and the
entirety of the member was shoved inside his mouth. The reaction was
instinctual and maybe a tad more forceful than he expected but Tom
went with it and relaxed his throat so Chakotay could pump freely.
While the man beneath him focused on fucking the warm, wet
familiarity, Tom lashed out his hand for the lube. Talented fingers,
tempered by long hours of playing the helm with the excellence of a
virtuoso, popped the cap and squeezed it contents over a set of balls
tight with arousal. Chakotay flinched slightly at the coolness of
the oil but continued to make love to Tom's mouth.
Tom greased his fingers in the flow and inserted them into the
commander's tight opening careful to avoid brushing the prostate and
sending the groaning man into premature orgasm. With that done, Tom
took back control. Placing his palms on Chakotay's hips to stop his
thrusting, the pilot raised his head.
The commander sobbed at the loss but said nothing and no wonder. His
body was shaking in small tremors and his eyes were unfocused.
Chakotay was so incredibly turned on right now; Tom would be
surprised if the big man knew his name.
"Tom?" Surprise, surprise will wonders never cease.
"I'm here big guy."
The pilot moved up and propped the commander's legs up with his
forearms. Kissing him gently, Tom replaced the friction his mouth
gave with his groin. When Chakotay's hips resumed their rocking, he
slid a hand down between their bodies to place the tip of his cock at
his lover's prepared entrance. He removed his hand and pressed
Tom had wanted to go slowly but as before when he had tried to give
the commander a slow leisurely blowjob his wants were overruled
again. As soon as the tip of his penis brushed Chakotay's prostate,
the big man roared and used his well-muscled arms to lever up his
torso to deepen the contact.
"Oh fuck, Chakotay!"
Unable to help himself, Tom wildly rammed himself repeatedly into the
very un-virgin like man beneath him. Fucking Chakotay like this
like a dream come true, only better if that were possible and when he
felt the hot rush of Chakotay's orgasm against his belly, Tom knew it
As he felt his own release burst from him, Tom buried his cock as
deep as it would go into his lover and heard Chakotay gasp.
It was a sound Tom would never forget.
In a jumble of arms and legs they separated briefly before finding
each other again, lying side by side so they could see the other's
"So was it spectacular?"
"It was more than that."
"So does that mean you might like to do it again?"
"Yes but I think I might like try to do the same for you."
"Oh don't worry big guy, you did."
"That's not what I meant."
"You're sure you wouldn't want a few more demonstrations first?"
"No I think I've got the gist of it. I'm a fast learner."
"That would be an understatement."
"Is that a complaint?"
"No sir, Commander, sir."
"Good. Now come here Lieutenant and tell me you love me."
"I've always been here and I've always loved you."
"I see that now."