Title: Holodiction
Author: Cheryl Forbes
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Pairing: Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating: NC 17
Series: 1 of ?
Email for feedback:
Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.

Summary: Tom uses the holodeck to get his man.

Tonight the offer would expire.

Every Friday night he sent Chak a drink as a sign of his standing
offer for more than liquid refreshment and every Friday night the
first officer left the drink untouched as a sign of his refusal.

It hurt like hell but like the lust struck idiot he was Tom had
repeated the proposition every seven days for the last four months in
hope that one night the big man would lift the glass from its place
on the bar to his lips and drink it.

The first time he'd sent the commander a scotch, it had been more or
less a whim. He'd been sitting in Sandrine's late one Friday night
in one of the back booths alone nursing a beer feeling a little
lonely and a lot horny, when the Chakotay had entered and seated
himself at the bar.

It might have been because the commander had seemed as alone as he
felt or it might just have been the fact he hadn't been laid for
awhile that had prompted him to make a play for the somber man. Tom
didn't remember which but in the end it didn't matter.

Chakotay had twisted his solid frame in his chair, saw his lecherous
gaze and pushed the glass away. It had been the obvious disdain in
the way the first officer had swiped the proffered drink to the side
had set the pattern for the next four months.

The next week the commander had come back at the same time and
thinking he'd been granted a reprieve, Tom had offered himself again
by way of liquid refreshment. The consequent refusal had surprised

Tom held no allusions regarding his attractiveness to either sex. If
his baby blues and winning smile didn't get you into the sack the
first time you were exposed to them, they definitely would the
second. Especially after you a little time for regret or at least
that's the way it usually went.

Chakotay's failure to succumb to his charms on his second attempt was
anomaly he had never experienced before. It had rankled him
enormously and his desire for the first officer had expanded
exponentially each following week with every subsequent rejection
there after.

It had become a standing date and barring warp core breaches or alien
attacks, it was one neither one of them failed to show up for. After
the drink was sent and refused, they would share each other's company
for an hour or two from opposite sides of the room. They didn't
speak, make eye contact or even bid the other good night when they
left but just shared the same space in a fucked up version of quality

The wooden door of Sandrine's swung open and Tom watched from his
darkened booth as Chakotay found at stool at the empty bar and
ordered his usual tea. The proprietres herself served the first
officer and then peered through the gloom of the near vacant room
awaiting his signal to pour the scotch. Tom avoided her gaze and
sunk deeper into his cushioned seat. There was no need for any of
the golden liquid to wasted tonight.

The offer had expired.


How could something be the high point of your existence and be the
low point at the same time?

Chakotay sat at the bar in Sandrine's sipping his tea and
contemplated his sorry excuse for a life.

He lived, breathed and worked for these few precious hours on the
holodeck each week. Here, no matter how vicariously, he got to spend
time with the man that occupied his every waking moment these last
months. It was mentally unhealthy almost to point of instability but
he had no choice. If he didn't allow himself this limited intimacy
with the beautiful blond, he certainly would go crazy.

Four months ago he had wandered into the holographic bar after a
paperwork marathon looking for something else to think about other
than trying to keeping the only Fleet ship in the Delta quadrant
functional long enough to make to the Alpha. He had gotten was he
was looking for ten fold.

Of all people, Tom Paris had propositioned him and had blown his task-
orientated world to pieces. In a surge of emotional and physical
reactions, Chakotay had lost his work ethics in a pair of sparkling
blue eyes. He shouldn't have been surprised.

It had been so long since he thought of himself as anything but first
officer of Voyager that it had been a jolt to his system to have
someone see him as a man to be wanted for something other than his
ability to administrate. Near stagnant feelings of desire and need
were revitalized in the young pilot's stare almost as quick as his
fear was.

Voyager's crew depended on him as much as they did the captain to get
them home. It was a full time 24/7 job and it was one he accepted
with great honour despite the sacrifice to his social life.

Chakotay had learned the hard way that he wasn't able to maintain a
serious romantic relationship shipboard without compromising the
crew's safety and had in the last few years released what marginal
sexual urges he had into consenting aliens or the palm of his hand.
It hadn't been the most satisfying solution but it was one that had
he been able to live with, until now that is.

Tom Paris was dangerous threat to his duty as first officer and with
strength he hadn't known he'd possessed Chakotay had turned down the
seductive blond's unspoken offer that first night. However the
difficulty of the decision had plagued him enough to return the
following Friday and every subsequent one since to bask in the
pilot's hunger for him. He was walking a fine line between obsession
and obligation and it was slowly but surely tearing him apart.

He had talked to Kathryn about his attraction to the lieutenant in an
attempt to relieve the stress but had toned downed his feelings in
self-preservation. If she knew the real extent of his turmoil, she
would undoubtedly relieve him of command and that was unacceptable.
Being Voyager's first officer was the only identity he had that he
was sure of and he wouldn't give that up.

"I'm sorry mon cheri."

"Excuse me?" He looked up slightly startled from his now cold tea.
The hologram never spoke to him after her initial hello.

"No scotch this evening Commander."

"But he's here. I saw him when I came in." Chakotay heard the near
panic in his voice and took a few deep breaths to stave it off.

"Qui but he is not buying tonight."

"Why not?"

Sandrine shrugged her bare shoulders. "I think you will have to ask

Oh spirits how the hell was he supposed to talk to Tom without
revealing to the pilot how he felt about him? When they were on duty
it was easy because it was impersonal but talking to him here about
why he wasn't letting him say no to him, well that was different.
Sandrine's was a whole other world than the bridge. A whole other

"Sit down Commander."

In the mist of his self-argument Chakotay hadn't realized he'd risen
from his stool and crossed the room to the booth where Tom was
ensconced. He studied the scarred surface of the table trying to
regain his equilibrium.

"Or fucking leave. I don't really give a shit anymore."

Chakotay sat and entered the lion's den.


"Do you hate me or think I'm just plain stupid Commander?"


"Do you rub my nose in it once a week so I get the point or do you do
it just to torture me?"


"Then why? You know I want you, so you gotta know that every time
you show up I'm hoping you want me too."

"I know and I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry, just say yes."

"I can't have you."

"Ah hello? Didn't I just say I'm yours for the asking?"

"You're not and never could be. You have your world and I have
mine. I can't touch you from where I am."

"What the fuck is that suppose to mean Chakotay? If I want I can
reach over this table and touch you until you scream for me to touch
you some more."

"And what happens after that?"

"I don't know and I don't care."

"Well I do. This isn't a joyride or an extended mission we're on
Lieutenant. It's more than that. Spirits getting Voyager home is
the mission of our lives and as first officer it's my duty to see
that she does."

"I know that but what does that have do with us being together?"

"You're Voyager's chief pilot and one her most valuable assets. If
we become involved and our relationship ends badly it will compromise
our chances of getting home and I will not allow that to happen if I
can avoid it."

"Did it ever occur to you that we might be really good together."

"No. I don't have the best track record when it comes to
relationships and frankly Mr Paris neither do you. The odds are
against us."

"So that's it. I stay in my world lusting after you and you stay in
yours lusting after me. Great fucking solution Commander."

"I'm sorry but it's all I've got."

That said, Chakotay got up and left him alone in the booth. As Tom
watched him leave he searched his brain for ways to prove the big man
wrong but he'd made a good argument. Each of them did have an
albatross slung around their necks.

Chakotay's was Seska and his was B'Elanna. Both women were officers
and for a time, it had effected the Voyager's performance when the
relationships had crashed. So yeah maybe the commander was right on
that point but he was wrong to assume that history would repeat

Tom wasn't Seska. He had no hidden agendas or dual allegiances nor
was Chakotay as volatile as B'Elanna. Shit that alone, coupled with
the fact that we were dealing simply with sex here and not the
complicated expectations of love raised the odds in their favour

Hell all he wanted to do fuck the first officer and not marry him.
There didn't have to be any of this your world my world crap and if
they broke up, so what. Voyager would survive. They'd all get over it
and move on. No big deal.

Unfortunately the over serious commander didn't see it that way
because he was unable to separate his rank from his dick. A dick, for
reasons unknown to him, he wanted very badly.

So if this reality didn't work for Chakotay, Tom would have find a
way to create for him one that did.


The massive oak door opened and she looked up from Seven's latest
astrometrics predictions on their ETA to the Alpha quadrant.

The first officer surveyed his surroundings and Kathryn would have
bet real money he wasn't aware of the scowl that masked his normally
complacent features.

"Do we have to work here?" His tone was almost petulant.

Carefully and with more grace than one would expect for such a
solidly built man, Chakotay picked his through the golden balls
strewn about the hand woven rug. Lifting a sleeping puppy from the
easy chair he settled down across from her in front of the fire and
placed it his lap.

"Wouldn't your Ready room be a more appropriate venue to discuss our
next course calculations?"

"What's the matter Chakotay? Don't you find my the atmosphere of my
den comfortable or have you developed a sudden aversion to furry

"This is the holodeck and not your study on Earth Kathryn." He
stroked the still slumbering pup behind the ear. "And last I checked
you preferred redheads."

Oh but my was he in a mood. She dropped the PADD to her lap
conceding they wouldn't get much work done this afternoon.

"Tastes change with circumstances Chakotay, you of all people know
that. You didn't answer my question."

"What question?" He grumbled.

"About the blond. Wasn't he at Sandrine's last night?"

Her first officer stared into the fire, all of a sudden finding the
holo sim interesting.

"He was there." His voice was controlled with the barest hint of
emotion. She didn't even hear his irritation now.

"And he bought you a drink."

"No he didn't."

"Tom didn't proposition you?"

"No he did do that but after I went over to talk to him."

It was about time. Ever since Chakotay had confessed his feelings
for her chief pilot she had hoped he would act on them as a way of
relieving the stress associated with the burden of being her right
hand. She was going to suggest he take up a hobby but sleeping with
Tom Paris was an acceptable alternate. It would still keep his hands
busy and take his mind off of work.

"Please tell me you asked him out or at least took him home and
fucked him silly."

The dark head shot up and his eyes went wide with shock.

"Kathryn!" After the brief emotional slip, the steel returned to his
voice. "I did neither. Both would have been inappropriate given the
circumstances. I'm Voyager's first officer and he's her pilot so sex
is out of the question."

"Oh bullshit!"

She was talking as his friend but knew she sounded like his superior
officer. It couldn't be helped; he needed the dressing down.

"You're a passionate man by nature Chakotay and not afraid of
breaking social norms when you believe in something. So don't you
dare tell me that you're not going after the lieutenant's ass because
you're afraid of sabotaging Voyager's command structure. What you're
truly afraid of is getting hurt."

"That's not true." He placed the puppy on the floor and squared his
shoulders in her direction. He was ready for a fight and that was
OK, she was ready too.

"It is. You care for him a great deal and are terrified he won't
feel the same way."

"That's where you're wrong. As Tuvok would say, your logic is
flawed. I all ready know he wants me."

"Ah yes but you want him to love you too."

"Love isn't necessary for sex Kathryn. I haven't loved every person
I've been to bed with, have you?"

Oh nicely done. Chakotay managed to avoid the point and turn the
argument back on to her. Perhaps she should consider transferring
the title of Ambassador from Neelix to him. Well maybe not quite
just yet.

"No but then again I've haven't been to bed with everyone I loved. I
haven't been that fortunate but you have that chance Chakotay. Why
waste it."

"I didn't say I was in love with him."

"No not with words. For some reason beyond me you haven't told me
that what you feel for Tom is more than physical, but you have shown
me. Shit Chakotay talk about denial. You go to the holodeck every
Friday night just to tell Tom you don't love him."

"Listen to yourself Kathryn. That doesn't make sense."

"Maybe not but as our esteemed security officer would say, emotion
has no logic or in other words sense."

"I can't love him."

"Too late. You already do."

"Then I'll refuse to act on it. It's too dangerous, for me and
Voyager." He held a broad hand up. "Before you object think about
it Kathryn. What happens when he rejects me? Don't look at me like
that, he will and we both know it. Eventually when he finds out I
might want more than a little slap and tickle between the sheets
he'll back off. Have you thought about that?"


"No I didn't think so. Romance and happily ever afters may happen in
the holo novels you read Kathryn but this is real life. Tom isn't my
Prince Charming coming to take me away, he's just a guy who wants to
get fucked, end of story." He rose from his chair, his anger
radiating hotter than the fire in the grate before them. "So forgive
me if I don't want to start that particular drama. Good day Captain."


Nimbly avoiding puppies the commander left the holodeck in a huff.

Knocking her head back against the padded surface of her chair, she
closed her eyes in sadness for her misguided first officer. Chakotay
was as wrong as he was in love.

Happy endings could happen outside the holodeck. Sometimes however
they just needed a little help from the powers that be. A little
divine intervention perhaps and on this ship there was only one being
with enough might to do that.

Captain Kathryn Janeway.


"Happy Birthday!"

He advanced a little further into the holographic bedchamber, moving
to the extreme left away from the huge four poster bed that dominated
the room. He stopped only when his shoulder butted an armoire a foot
taller that he was.

"It's not my Birthday."

"You do plan one having one this year don't you?"

"Yes but.-"

"Then there you go. Happy Birthday!"

Barefoot in worn jeans and a white tee torn in all the right places,
Tom flung his arms wide.

"What the hell's going on Paris? I thought a told you week ago in
Sandrine's I wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship with you."

"Me? No I don't think so. I've never been there. You must have me
confused with somebody else."

Seductively the blond wound one slender arm around the bedpost
closest to the large dresser and leaned into it. The glow from the
fireplace on the wall behind lit his hair like a halo. Spirits he
was beautiful but dangerously so.

The pilot's knowing smile and sparkling eyes reminded him of the
enchanting sea nymphs that according to myth lured unwitting sailors
to death with their song. Chakotay decided to leave before he was
captured by this particular siren's call.

"Good night Mr Paris."

"No wait please."

Against his better judgment he stopped his progress to the arch.

"What is it?"

If his voice sounded impatient it was because he was. He didn't have
time for the lieutenant's head games. It was already bad enough he'd
used a priority channel employed only in emergencies to get him here.

"Ask the computer where I am."


"Just do it Chakotay."

Wanting to end this charade as quickly as possible, he complied.

"Computer give me the location of Tom Paris."

"Lieutenant Paris is in his quarters."

"See it wasn't me."

"You're a hologram?"

"Right in one. Hey you are as smart as you look."

Ignoring the jibe, he stepped up to the slender image to take a
closer look. The fake blond stood patiently with his arms at his
sides allowing his perusal.

It was incredible reproduction. The holo character looked, smelled
and even as he was beginning to discover acted like the cocky chief
pilot. Only someone with advanced technical skills and access to
Tom's confidential personnel files would be able to pull something
like this off.

"Who programmed you?" He hit on the obvious. "Tom?"

"Oh yeah right. Like B'Elanna would give him access to the resources
it would take to run me."

He was right. Having this much power allotted to the holodeck for a
recreational program would require a higher authority.


"Ah the captain with the penchant for holo novels. I'm not a story
Chakotay. I'm totally interactive."

"Then who?"

"Truth? I really don't know but I am empowered to tell you that if
you try to find out by accessing my program or the computer logs
you'll delete me. My sender wants to remain anonymous and I would
consider it a personal favour if you respected their wishes. I just
got here and haven't had any fun yet."

Feeling a little weak kneed, Chakotay crossed over to the bed and sat
heavily down on its edge. The hologram followed and sat close enough
so their legs touched.

"So what am I supposed to do with you?" The blond placed a long
slender hand on his thigh in answer and Chakotay removed it. "I'm
not going to make love to you."

"OK fine. It's your nickle. All I know is that every Friday night
for an hour I'm yours to do with what you will. You can change the
environmental parameters but you can't change me. So we can play
chess at the Vulcan Science Academy, swim in the red pools of Mars or
my personal favorite, fuck in this eighteen century Terran bed we're
sitting on, whatever it's up to you."

"You're awfully bold for a hologram."

"And that's my fault? Hey I didn't choose to be Tom Paris. I'm just
following the script that's been given me. If you want you can slap
his face tomorrow."

Maybe it was his uncanny likeness to Tom or maybe it was his off the
cuff humour but either way Chakotay found he was starting to like the
flippant young man beside him.

"I don't think physical violence is necessary but I may give him a
dirty look or two."

"What?" The handsome young face stilled a moment before it erupted
with laughter. Chakotay watched amazed as the jubilance spread
through out his slender form and he fell backward on the bed
shaking. He had never seen someone laugh with their entire body
before and settled back on one elbow to watch.

Tom's, he had decided to call him that for lack of a better name,
cheeks were red blotches and his eyes were watering wetting the
comforter beneath them. Chakotay wondered if the real Tom Paris
could ever look this stunning.

"Oh fuck Chak, can I call you Chak? I didn't see that one coming."
Tom propped himself up on his elbows bringing their faces closer
together. "Are you always this much fun?"

"No." He was trying to be serious but it didn't come off well when
said with a smile.

"Gods you've got one hell of a sexy mouth Chak." One long finger came
up to trace the outline of his lips. "Kiss me."

The need in the young man's eyes was palatable and it fed his own.
His penis was pulsing in his pants and beads of perspiration were
forming on his forehead. It was hard to believe a reaction like that
could be programmed but it was and it would be best for him to
remember that. He moved his head back to end the caress.

"Stop it Tom."

"Why? Don't you don't want to find out what it's like to kiss Tom
Paris or maybe even fuck him?"

"You're not him."

"No but I will feel the same and when I cry your name out as I come,
I will sound the same too. Don't tell me you don't want that."

"I don't."

"Oh no? If I move my hand down to your cock will I find it hard
Chakotay? I may be just a hologram but I'm not stupid. I know you
want me so bad right now it's killing you."

"No I want him and if I take you in proxy, he may find out about it
and I can't risk that."

"He won't. Nobody, not even my benefactor, will be of aware of what
happens here unless you tell them. I'm yours and confidential like
any other program you own."

Could he really do this? Spirits knew he wanted to. How many times
had he masturbated to picture of Tom's face scrunched up in the sweet
agony of orgasm? Too many and now to be offered the chance to feel
and hear the young man as he came, how could he say no? He couldn't
really but what he could do is treat the hologram with the same
respect he would a real lover. Chakotay had to if he wanted to be
able look the real Tom Paris in the eye the next duty shift.

"You can kiss me and I would like to pleasure you but I think it's
too soon for anything more than yet. OK?"

"OK. Do you want me to take off my clothes?"

"No just open your pants enough so I can touch you."

The hologram started to obey his wishes, his hands going to the brass
button of his bluejeans, then stopped. He peered at him through
fluttering blond lashes and gave him a sly smile.

"Kiss me first and then I'll give you my cock Chakotay."

For a computer program Tom was exceedingly impertinent not to mention
a shameless tease. It was time to shake a few algorithms loose.

Still half-off and lying the wrong way on the bed, he hooked his
fingers in the belt loops of Tom's jeans and brought his feet up and
pushed. The hologram facilitated the move by latching himself to
Chakotay with his arms and legs. Now they were in the centre of the
mattress albeit still the wrong way but it didn't matter. The bed
was large enough to accommodate their bodies regardless of the
direction they were lying in.

Grasping the blond roughly by the scruff of the neck, Chakotay pulled
him in until the their lips barely touched. Using just the tip he
feathered his tongue lightly across Tom's mouth in direct contrast
the tight hold on his neck. At the first moan he pressed his lips
harder and relaxed his hand reversing the pressure and allowing Tom
to surge up into him.

The body beside him was a masterpiece and while Tom mapped his mouth
with his eager tongue, Chakotay's hand set out to discover the slim
form's wonders.

The tee shirt was thin and ratty allowing for maximum tactile
sensation. As his fingers traveled down the young man's side he
could feel every rib clearly and the heated warmth of the skin
covering them. When he slipped around the front he encountered a
tear in the material that exposed a small amount of downy chest hair
and a harden nipple. Covering the hole with his hand he kneaded his
fingers through golden fleece and rolled the erect nub in his palm.
Tom's reaction to the caress was instantaneous. He broke the kiss
and fell back on to the mattress with his chest heaving.

"OK, OK I give Chak." The hologram licked his swollen lips as he
lowered the zipper of his jeans. "It's yours."

Spreading the denim in a vee, he exposed his sweating erection. The
emerging cock was approximately two and half hands breadth long and
thick enough that Chakotay would have trouble encircling it with his
forefinger and thumb. To say it was impressive would be an

"This is what the real Lieutenant Paris looks like?"

Tom looked down at himself and then back up. There was a hint of
worry in his clear blue eyes.

"Yeah. It's not too much is it?"

Chakotay felt a twinge in his nether regions at the thought of
accommodating the large member and then amusement. When he wondered,
in this encounter did he decide he'd let the young man top him? He
had never bottomed for anybody, he was too much a self-admitted
control freak for that.


"It's beautiful Tom." He placed his hand on the quivering member in
an effort to still its shuddering. It was hot and pulsing just like
the real thing. "You're beautiful."

"Really? You've never said so before."


"Ah, ah I mean since you got here. I wasn't too sure you liked me
since I'm not the real Tom and all."

"I do. Now let me show you how much."

Placing soft kisses on the pink mouth, Chakotay ran his palm up and
down the length of the hologram's erection in slow even strokes.
Like a cat the young man arched lazily up into his touch and purred.
The contented sound made the rod of desire in encased in his uniform
pants strain against its cell of fabric. He yearned to let it out
but satisfied the longing by rubbing it along the side of Tom's thigh

"Harder, Chak. Pull me harder and oh fuck faster, faster."

Forgoing the niceties of a long leisurely hand job, Chakotay tighten
his grip and sped up the pace. Tom called to his gods as his ass
rose from the mattress in tandem with his pistoning arm.

Grunting into Tom's mouth with each downward stroke, he watched the
face of the writhing hologram twist in pleasure as he came hard into
his hand. After making sure the cock was spent, he reached over the
pale blond and with sticky fingers, secured his belt loop and fucked
Tom's hip until his own orgasm tore through him.

"Oh fuck Chak, how long have you been saving that one. Shit you
drenched half my leg with all that come and your trousers are a
complete write off."

Oh to be a hologram and be able to string cognizant sentences
together immediately after sex, Chakotay's foggy brain mused. He
pulled Tom to him and rested his head on his torn white tee.

"Sorry." The one word was all he could manage.

"Hey don't worry about it. Next time we'll find a better place for
it where it won't be so messy."

He nodded his assent into Tom's chest and drifted into a state of
semi-consciousness where he could still hear the young man's talking
but couldn't respond in detail to it.

"Baby can you hear me? Good. We only have about fifteen minutes
left of our time together and I have a favour to ask of you."

"Mmmm. Anything."

"I want you to leave before the simulation ends."


"I don't want you see me wink out of existence because it's not the
last image I want you have of me tonight. I want you to remember me
as your man lying on this bed all hot and sticky from our lovemaking
and not as a computer program that's reached its termination point.
Will you do that for me?"

Dragging himself from the depths of his euphoria, Chakotay lifted his
head and rested his chin on Tom's chest. The young man's countenance
was grave and his mouth was set in a straight line making it apparent
that the request meant a lot to him.

"I can do that but I want you to know it isn't necessary. The only
image that's going to be in my mind for the next week is your
beautiful face as you came in my hand."


"Really and when I'm alone late at night lying in bed it will be your
cock, not Tom's I'll fantasize about touching as I pleasure myself."

"Oh shit I wasn't expecting that." He sounded almost disappointed.

"Neither was I." He inched up Tom's body for a reassuring kiss. "I
should go now sweetness."

The hologram returned the kiss. "OK, I'll see you in a week."

Back crawling off the bed and Tom, Chakotay stood and tried to
straighten his now damp uniform without success. The large wet patch
on his groin remained plastered to his skin no matter how much he
shifted the material.

"Having problems Commander Hotpants?"

"I would prefer if you didn't call me that. It's not very dignified."

"So what." Tom propped himself up on the mattress with his
elbows. "You called me sweetness and I'm not made of sugar."

"No but you do taste good."

Chakotay gave up on his pants and leaned over to kiss Tom's forehead
before he left.

"Good bye sweetness. See you in a week."


"Paris to Janeway."

"Janeway here. Is he gone?"

"Yeah he just left."

"And are you still a virgin? Hypothetically speaking of course."

"A tarnished one but yeah."


"You're telling me."

"Well maybe next week then?"

"Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'll lose it this Friday."

"Let's hope so. See you on the bridge tomorrow Mr Paris. Janeway out."