Title:  Epiphany P2
Author:  Cheryl Forbes
Fandom:  Star Trek:  Voyager
Pairing:  Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating:  NC 17
Email Address for feedback: forbesc@skyia.com
Disclaimer:  Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.
Whatever.

Summary:   Chakotay's finally sees something but it may be more than
he wants to.
 
 

"Tom wait!"

He only made it about four meters from the refreshment tent before he
heard the plea.

"Hold up will ya?"

He turned to see a flushed faced Crewman Gerron exiting the tent.  He
waited for the younger man to weed through the throng of people to
his position.

"You OK?"

He peered down into a face that looked way to young to look so
concerned.  He brushed his chin with his thumb.

"Yeah I'm fine Tem."

A flash of red stole his attention and he looked up to see Chakotay
standing at the entrance of tent watching him.  Gerron placed his
palms on the front of uniform and moved closer.

"You sure?  I mean you left pretty quickly."

Fuck didn't he have something better to do?  Well fine if he wanted
to watch him, Tom would give him something to see.

"I could be better."  He leaned down and took the Bajoran's mouth in
a deep long kiss, never letting his eyes waver from the commander who
locked his eyes with his.

Tem broke away from him and took his hand.  "Follow me Tom."
He allowed the young man to lead him away giving Chakotay one final
smile over his shoulder.

Eat your heart out, you bastard!

********

It was dark and it was quiet and they were not alone.

Tem had led him between the concession booths to the far reaches of
the fairgrounds behind what he supposed was a storage shed.  His
shadow had followed and was now standing just out of sight at the
edge of the building.

"Tom?"  Tem leaned against the clapboard wall and pulled him close.
Big doe eyes assailed his.  Oh gods this man was sweet and he knew
from previous encounters, tasty.  He could forget the hurt with this
man and at the same time inflict back some of own.

Locking his hands behind the Bajoran's head, he made full body
contact and explored his mouth with his tongue.  Tem moaned and slid
his small hands between them releasing both their erections from
their uniforms.  Because of their difference in height, Tom was a
good head taller than the diminutive Bajoran, their cocks were unable
to get close enough to slide pleasurably against each other so the
pilot took matters into his own hands, or rather his mouth.

He slid down his partner till he was on his knees before him.
Peeling back the edges of his fly, Tom swallowed Gerron's not so
diminutive cock whole.

"Tom!"  His hips bucked off the wall.

He was putting on a show, so he used all the talent he had in his
tongue and mouth to make Tem scream out in passion.

"Tom stop."  Hands grabbed at his shoulders.  "Please Tom come up
here now."

As soon as his mouth left the rigid member, Tem replaced it with his
delicate fingers and stroked himself to orgasm.  Tom wasn't insulted
by his actions; he knew what the Bajoran was doing.  Tem was being
creative and making do with the materials they had at their disposal.

After a small rest period, the young man took his hand off his own
cock and placed it on Tom's, slicking it thoroughly with his cum.

"Are you sure you want to do this here Tem?"

"Yes, very sure."  He turned, lowered his trousers and placed his
hands against the wall.

The pilot made a sideways glance at the shadows.  He had not planned
on going this far but this was the second time tonight someone else
had got off in front of him and now his own penis was throbbing
painfully for relief.

"Please Tom do it now!"  He brought his attention back to the
exquisite man offering himself to him.  Anger, hurt and desire
overcame him and he rammed his cock into his pretty ass.   His usual
control left him as he wildly drove in an out of the tight passage.
He vaguely heard Tem scream out a second orgasm before he found his
own and came deep inside the young man.  Spent he fell to ground and
leaned back against the shed with his head in his knees.  He heard
the shuffling of clothing.

"Hey."  Tom looked at Tem as he sat beside him and then around him
into the dark.  Tem followed his gaze a moment then turned back.

"I think he's gone."

Tom looked at him with surprise.  "You knew?"

"Yeah, I saw you both at the bar earlier."

The pilot sunk his head between his knees.  What a fucking asshole he
was.  He had wanted hurt somebody tonight but not this somebody.  He
raised his head and looked into Tem's face.

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be, I'm not." Tem smiled. "Besides it was probably our last
time before you went exclusively with the commander anyway."

"Chakotay?"  He laughed.  "What colour is the sky in your world,
Tem?  Chak ain't never gonna let me touch him that way."

"He will."

"You know that for a fact?"

"Yeah Tom everybody knew that once you two finally noticed each
other, it would all over for the rest of us.  It just a matter of
when, that's all."

Tom threw his arm around the younger man and pulled him to his
chest.  He kissed the top of the tousled brown hair.

"I like you kid."

"Yeah but you love him."

If all this pain, fear and passion meant he was in love, then he
guessed he was.  He hugged Tem closer to him.

"Yeah, whether I want to be or not."

********

"Computer, location of Lieutenant Paris?"

"Lieutenant Paris is in his quarters."

"Is he awake?"

"Negative."

He hated himself for asking the next question but he wanted, no he
needed to know.

"Is he alone?"

"Affirmative."

Chakotay breathed a sigh of relief.  He still may hate himself for
checking up on the blonde pilot but he felt a whole lot better for
it.  He sat back on the lounge in his own quarters and played
absently with the akoona in his hand.

The she wolf didn't come again tonight but it seems everyone, Tom,
Gerron and himself included, had.  Oh very funny Chakotay, keep
making fun of the spirit and she'll never show.  He brought the
akoona up to his face and twirled it in his fingers.  It wasn't the
beacon's fault she didn't show, it was functioning perfectly no it
was his.   He was a mess.

For the first time in his life he wanted to possess someone totally
before developing a relationship.  Put more bluntly, he wanted to
fuck Tom Paris now and worry about his rules about love and respect
later.

But as he told Tom it wasn't right.  He wasn't simply an animal
driven by baser desires, he was a man the ability to think and reason
before reacting.  Or he used to be.

Tonight he'd had gone crazy.  Tom's touch at the fire and in the bar
had sent him completely over the edge.  Oh he'd come to his senses
briefly after he'd cum all over the front of his uniform but he'd
lost it again when he saw the pilot with Gerron.  In a fog of what
may have been jealousy he followed them.

When he saw Tom go down on his knees he wanted to leave but didn't
and when he saw the lieutenant enter the other man, he knew he
couldn't.  The passion on Tom's face and in his movements was
fascinating and incredible to see even if he wasn't the reason for
it.  He been frozen to the spot and hadn't been able to move until he
heard Tom crying out his release.  He then retraced his steps and
returned to the ship.

Which was were he was now, sitting alone in the dark in his quarters
burning for him.  He wanted to hear Tom scream his name and he wanted
to scream it back.   Putting the akoona down on the low table he
looked at the chrono.  It was late.

He was halfway out the doors of his quarters before he realized where
he was going and stopped.   He considered what he was doing and with
a very un-commander like shrug of his shoulders he went anyway.

********

"Why the hell not?"

"Because it isn't very dignified Thomas."

He leaned over his crossed knees to bring his face closer to her
muzzle.

"Even when it's a full moon?"

She tapped his nose gently with hers.  "No besides I can't sing."

Laughing he fell back on his hands in the mud.  She may be crazier
than a loon but he liked her.

"This isn't the reason I came here."

He sobered.  Oh yeah the Chak update.

"I fucked it up, literally."

"You didn't."

"Yeah I did.  I gave him his epiphany and opened his eyes but I don't
think he liked what he saw."

"And you know this how?"

"I just know."  He couldn't stop the tremble in his voice.

The she wolf moved closer and placed her head in his lap.

"I thought I was suppose to be the mystical one here."

"Yeah?  Well I thought I was the one that told the jokes, so go
figure."  He ran his fingers through her silver coat.  "He doesn't
want me because it's not right."

"Oh so now he's the one that knows."

"Yeah I guess so."

She stood to her full height, which was pretty impressive to someone
sitting in the mud.

"Well let me tell you what I know."  Her shoulders hunched.  "I know
he's as scared and as confused as you are.  I also know he's going to
fall in love with you."

"But he saw what I did tonight."

"Yes and so did I but won't make any difference to him.  He'll forget
about it."

"Yeah right and Sol is just another star."  His voice rose with his
body as he uncrossed his legs and stood to face her.  "Don't you
get
it!  I fucked another man right in front of him!"  He began pacing
and flailing his arms.  "How the hell is he ever supposed to forget
that!"

"Sit down Thomas."  Her voice was calm.

This whole situation was really fucked.  He, Tom 'love them and leave
them' Paris was in love and some crazy assed wolf was telling him to
shut up and sit down in 'his' dream.  Well screw that!

"Sit down Thomas before I knock you down.  Crazy or not I'm pretty
sure I can do in one."

He stopped his pacing.  Gone was soft-spoken lupine and in her place
was a very dangerous looking creature.  Taking note of the length of
her
canines he decided that sitting was a pretty good idea after all.

"I don't want any of this.  I was a lot happier before Chakotay."

"Oh so now who's the crazy one.  You're the one that jumped from bed
to bed running from the one thing you always wanted.  You weren't
happy, sexually satisfied maybe but happy you weren't."

"So what are you telling me that I'm closet a masochist."

"A little but that's another story."  She retook her usual position
across from him on her haunches.  "Let yourself love him Thomas and
suffer through his uncertainty until he loves you back."

"Just roll with it then?"

"That's a little trite but yes."

"OK."

The she wolf readied herself for her exit but before she left she
brushed the length of her silky coat across his bare shoulder.

"Have patience Thomas."

As she trotted off into the forest he heard a long uneven howl and he
winced.

She was right, she was tone deaf.

********

"Computer override door lock, authorization Chakotay Beta One."

The doors slid opened and he entered the lieutenant's quarters.  He
had tried the chime repeatedly but without success, hell the man must
sleep like the dead.  So he'd figured overriding the door lock was
his only option short of waking the operations officer for a site to
site transfer.  He didn't think the captain would be too thrilled to
hear he'd used the ship's resources and manpower so he could get
laid.  No that would definitely not bring a smile to her lips.  He
walked through living area and into the bedroom.

Most of the room was dark except for the starlight pooling from the
viewport across the bed.  The commander walked to the end of it and
stared down at the object of his desire, beautifully innocent in his
slumber.

What the hell was he doing?  He was the first officer the Federation
starship Voyager not some petty voyeur.  He wanted Tom so badly he'd
let it effected his personal as well as his professional disciplines
and that was just plain wrong.  He turned to leave.

"Chakotay?"

His blood began pumping and his heart started jumping.

"I'm sorry. I know I shouldn't be here, I'll leave."

"Do you want to stay?"

He stopped his exit, turned back to look at him and gave the only
answer he had.

"Yes."

Tom pulled the covers back revealing his long lean body.

"Then come here."

Slowly he removed his uniform with shaking hands before slipping
beside him in the bed.   Lying on his side, he held his hips back
preventing his weeping penis from touching the pilot.  His need was
so great he was afraid of embarrassing himself by coming at the first
touch of that pale skin.

"I can't believe you're really here."

Fingers fell across his lips preventing a reply.

"No Chak don't say anything.  It'll probably just be something stupid
anyway."

Stupid? He was about to argue the point but then he remembered how he
got here.  Tom replaced the fingers with his lips.  They were soft
and questing.  He opened his mouth to allow him deeper access and
with his tongue the pilot awoke again the insanity that had been
plaguing him since he had beamed down to the planet.   He pulled away
and buried his head in Tom neck.

"Spirits Tom I need you."

"It's OK Chak, I'm here and I'm yours."

His, he was his.  The commander pushed him over on to his back and
like animal marked him with his tongue and his teeth.  Tom arched his
back into his assault as he traveled the length of his torso to his
groin.

"Beautiful, so beautiful."

Tom was circumcised and although it was an archaic custom it did show
off wonderfully the purple head of his long thick phallus.  His
inexperienced mouth tasted the crest.

"Oh fuck Chak!"

Tom jerked up shoving his erection deeper into his mouth.  Reflex
caused him to close his lips around him spurring a pumping action in
the pilot's hips.  The knowledge that he was giving the man he
desired pleasure spiked his arousal to a new level and he thrust his
pelvis against the bedcovers searching for release.

"Stop, please."

He looked up into the man's flushed face confused.

"I need more Chak."

"What?"

Tom moved down the bed until they were eye to eye.

"I need to fuck you."

"Me?  But I thought.."

"Yeah you thought you were the one going to be doing the fucking but
it's my bed and my rules, OK?"

He wanted him to be bottom.  No one had ever asked that of him before
and he wasn't sure he would like it.

"I promise it will be good."

He remembered how Tem had called out the pilot's name and how he came
without being touched as Tom slammed into him.

"All right."

"Thank you Chak."

Permission given Tom sprang from the bed to the bathroom.  He
returned a few moments later with a vial and went to his knees at the
end of the bed.

"Come down here to me sweetness."

He did as he was told letting his legs fall over the edge of the
mattress at the knee.  He closed his eyes, feeling soft kisses on the
insides of thighs as he lay on his back in comfort on the bed.

"Do you even have the slightest idea how much I want this Chakotay."
More kisses rained down on him landing on the base of his
stomach.  "I feel like I'm going crazy."

Oh yeah he knew what that was like.

"I don't even know who I am anymore."  A finger trailed down his cock
to find the opening behind his balls.

"And the dreams.  You're not in them but they're all about you even
so."  Something warm and slick breached his anus.  He tensed.

"It's OK, just relax."  He felt movement and then exquisite joy.
He reached for his erection but a hand caught his before he reached
it.

"Oh no sweetness, not yet but soon."  Tom positioned his hips between
his legs and gave him a kiss that shattered him.   While he was still
reeling from the effect of Tom's mouth on his, a fullness invaded him.

"Oh gods Chak, you feel so good."  Tom was inside him and moving.

The joy returned with each thrust of the man's hips.  It was slow at
first but it soon turned into a rhythm that matched pace with his
furiously beating heart.  He wrapped his legs around his lover to
bring him in deeper.

"Oh fuck Chak!"  He tightened his hold.  "No, oh no not yet!"

Tom screamed his name and grabbed his cock, pumping it frantically.
That's when his world exploded behind his eyes and reassembled itself
into a new one.

Pulling himself and Tom up further on the bed, he found a pillow and
placed it beneath his head.  The pilot did his part, grabbing the
blankets and drawing them up over their sweating bodies.

"You cheated."

"Did I Poocuh?"

"Yeah and not that I'm complaining or anything but I was supposed to
the one fucking you."

"You did."

"Then why do I feel like I was the one that has just been fucked?"

"I don't know but how about we do this again tomorrow in my bed and
I'll show you the difference."

"You got it sweetness."

His lovers had called him many things but 'sweetness' was something
new.  It was something that he as the stronger partner would say as
an endearment and having it said to him was strange.  But then again
this whole situation was strange.

He was an alpha male struggling for ascendancy with another alpha
male.   He knew that Tom would fight his natural urge for dominance
with his own and that it would make for a difficult relationship.
Maybe one so difficult it wouldn't survive. He kissed the pilot's
head and prayed to his spirit guide that it would.

He just hoped she was still somewhere listening to him.

TBC