Title: Clone P6
Author: Cheryl Forbes
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Pairing: Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating: NC 17
Series: 6 of ?
Email Address for feedback: firstname.lastname@example.org
Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount and not me.
Summary: Getting into the "spirit" of things.
He walked through the gloom of the master's workshop. Stepping
around the clutter of unframed paintings, manuscripts and puzzling
devices, the commander was reminded of the unholy mess of his own
quarters since Tom had taken up residence. Not that he was
complaining, no it had been the most wondrous two months of his
entire life; it was just that the disarray took some time getting
used to. His shoulder bumped something and he caught a balsa wood
structure that looked suspiciously like Voyager before it crashed to
The captain emerged from one of the many dark recesses of the room
holding an old fashioned wax candle.
She cleared a space and set the possible fire hazard down on one of
the desks that filled the room. "Is something wrong?"
His superior officer, looking like anything but leaned forward on her
elbows on the desk and gazed about the holodeck.
"Isn't this incredible?"
Chakotay looked about the workshop and wondered how anyone could
possibly get any "work" done in this confusion.
"I'm sorry Kathryn but the appeal of this place escapes me."
She punched him soundly on the arm. "Oh come on. I thought you were
the one that was supposed to be the amateur archaeologist." With
rapture she embraced the room again with her eyes.
"This place 'is' history Chakotay."
"You say it like it's a bad thing."
He didn't mean to. He was aware of the inspirational visions
Leonardo had fueled in the advancements of both science and art. It
was just that lately he'd been spending a lot of time revisiting his
tribe's culture and Terran history hadn't been one of their high
"No not a bad thing. It's just that everything in this room is of an
era that wasn't a particularly kind one to my ancestors."
"No I suppose it wasn't." She understood the words he said and the
ones he didn't say. She turned and leaned back on the desk. "You've
been thinking about that a lot lately haven't you?"
In another world or maybe just another time he would have made this
complicated and intelligent woman his. She was strong and she was
beautiful but the intangible spark that transformed companionship
into passion had never happened between them. It had been close
however, close enough to make them best friends if not lovers.
"Yes. This whole thing with Tom has made me re-evaluate my faith."
He sidled up beside her, touching shoulders. "I was afraid if I
loved him that would have to give up my father's teachings."
"But he made you believe in them all the more didn't he."
She was quiet for a moment. When she did speak he heard hope in her
"Are you going to show him his spirit guide?"
"I want to but I'm not sure if he wants to."
"So you've mentioned it."
"No actually he did. He asked about your experience and B'Elanna's."
"And when I offered to show him he got upset and retreated into the
bedroom. I don't know why and I haven't mentioned it since then."
Making it evident that she knew she rounded on him showing her
"Don't you see?" Disgust clouded her features. "He sees it as a
"Yes you idiot." She pinched his arm. "You told me that the type of
animal you see depends on your spirit. He's afraid that that if he
goes on a vision quest he won't see one at all."
"Because he's a clone."
"Yes and not having a guide means he doesn't have a soul, and not
having a soul to him means he can't have you or anything else for
"But he already does."
"You know that, I know that and from what he tells me, I'm pretty
sure the doctor knows that too but he doesn't Chakotay. He's come
along way and I'm proud of him but he's only come this far because he
thinks he's been reborn and granted a new soul."
"So you think I shouldn't take him on a vision quest?"
"It's not up to me and knowing your tendency to want to control
things, it's not up to you either."
He heard what she was saying but he rallied against it. Although he
had no desire to shatter Tom's image of himself, he dearly wanted to
be able to share his heritage with the man he had chosen to spend his
life with and choosing a spirit guide was essential to that. It
would bring them closer and cement the bond he already felt.
"But I love him Kathryn and I want him to be a part of me and my
"I know Chakotay but if you make him do this you could lose him
"He has a soul and he has a guide."
"Are you willing to bet all that you have with him on that? Is your
faith that strong?"
Faith. It all came down to faith again. He could meditate and ask
his own guide for advice but as before when he approached the she
wolf about his relationship with Tom, she would probably back away
and leave him to his own devices. The spirits seemed perfectly
willing to let him make his own mind up about the pilot without their
council. So fine he would have faith, if not in them, in Tom.
With the same trust in his judgment she had since he'd boarded
Voyager, she nodded supporting his decision.
"All right. Just let me know when and I'll clear you both from duty."
"Thank you Kathryn."
"Don't thank me just do me a favour."
Her mouth smiled but her eyes didn't. They held unshed tears.
"Promise me that from a year from now you'll have him married, happy
"Yes and if it's a girl you'll name her Shannon."
He smiled at her and not knowing if she was serious or not, agreed
With that he left the turmoil of the room and entered the turmoil of
"Because it's a lie."
Tom followed his best friend out of the messhall to the turbolift.
"Yeah is suppose it is if you want to talk semantics but why now? I
don't care, the captain doesn't care and Chakotay definitely
But he did. The last few months with the help of the captain, Chak
and last but not least Harry he had become secure in who he was. He
was the nuclear transference of Thomas Eugene Paris and not an
amnesiac. He wasn't a reformed Tom Paris or even one that had seen
the light. He was a person in his own right. One who deserved to be
taken for face value for what he'd accomplished and not for what some
spectre of some past incarnation had. He was himself and Tommy, who
in his own weird way he still loved, was no more than a memory.
"Harry I'm sick of apologizing for things I didn't do." He pressed
the pad to call the lift. "He was the one that fucked up not me."
"Yeah I know but telling everyone you're a clone," The lift
came. "It's gonna freak people out big time."
"Will you stop being my friend if I tell?"
"No of course not."
"Then I don't care. Hell Har some crewmembers on Voyager don't even
believe in a soul and then there are ones who grew up with all kinds
of races where the existence of a soul was subjective, like Trills
"Yeah what makes me that much different from a Trill. I carry a past
life just like they do. OK so I didn't go through the same kind of a
physical transference they do but it's still a transference of
consciousness of some kind."
"What does Chakotay think."
Fuck he would ask that. The lift came and they entered it.
"What does that have to with anything?"
"Deck three. Forgive me if I'm wrong but isn't he the guy you've
been seeing for the last four months?"
He blushed. Thinking about Chak still had the ability to make him
feel sixteen years old in more ways than one.
"OK I haven't told him but I will." The turbolift stopped on their
level. He saw the look of disbelief on his friend's face as they
exited. "I will!"
"Yeah, that sounds like something the old Tom Paris would say." They
arrived at their destination. "So when were you planning on telling
Oh now he was pushing it. The doors swished opened at their arrival.
"Soon. There's something I have to do first."
Harry entered the commander's quarters with him and took a seat on
the lounge. The room was vacant so that meant either Chak was asleep
in the other room or as usual he was still in his office reviewing
reports. He got himself and Harry a beer before settling on the
lounge across from him.
"So what do you have to do?"
"Find my totem."
"My spirit guide." Lately he'd been doing a lot of reading on vision
quests and animal guides. He'd even asked Chakotay about it and had
been touched deeply by the man's faith in them. He tried to explain
to Harry what he'd learned in a nutshell.
"It's usually an animal. Not necessarily an exotic one but usually
it's one you have an affinity for either through dreams or plain old-
fashioned instinct. They're supposed to help you live your life
through council and support."
"So where do you meet this guide?"
"On a vision quest. Spirit calls to spirit on the dream plane."
"You meditate and then have a dream? Like that?"
"Yeah Har like that."
Harry got up from the lounge and got himself another beer from the
replicator. Instead of returning to the couch he sat on the edge of
the low table across from him and considered the bottle in his hand.
After a few moments of contemplation he spoke.
"You said spirit calls to spirit." He took a deep swallow of his
beer and then set it down on the table beside him. "You're testing
yourself aren't you?"
"No not maybe, definitely." Anger crept into his voice escalating
its volume. "Damn it Tom it's not a fair test! You can't measure
the size of your soul based on some archaic custom!" He rose from the
table to stand in front of him. "The fact is nobody knows if they
have a spirit or a soul for certain and going on a, a, what did you
"A vision quest."
"A vision quest, fine, whatever. Anyway doing this doesn't mean shit
no matter what Chakotay says."
He tried to keep his voice quiet and not react to the ensign's
outrage. "He didn't say so."
"Oh please give me a break Tom. He sits around here chanting and
calling to the great bird of the universe, he doesn't need to use
words when he has spectacular stage show to speak for him."
OK friend or not he nobody talked about the commander's beliefs with
such insolence. He stood up to Harry and pointed in the direction of
"Just sit down and shut the fuck up and listen for one second!"
The ensign obliged him and reluctantly resumed his seat. This time
Tom kept standing and looked down on him.
"First off I'm going to ignore your remark about Chakotay's religion
because you're my friend and I'm pretty sure you're talking out of
concern for me." Harry made to speak and Tom shut him up with a
look, a very dangerous one.
"Second he's never asked me to do this, I came up with this on my
own. Granted his faith probably influenced me but after all it was
his faith that allowed me to love him and for him to love me back."
He let his voice softened. "Don't you see Harry it's because of this
love that I have to do this, not for him but me."
"Yeah me. I need answers." He sat down beside his best friend.
"You can't know what it's like to wake up one day and be told that
essentially you're the computer backup of someone else, that you have
all his thoughts and memories but not his essence, his reality."
"You're more than that, Tom."
"Yeah it know that intellectually but emotionally sometimes when I
wake up in the middle of the night alone, I wonder if I really am
alone. I know Chak is there for me because I feel his warmth at my
side but is anyone else? I need to know that if I passed on would
there be anyone there to welcome me or would I just stop and cease to
exist like a hologram having its program terminated."
For a moment he thought Harry was going to say something. His eyes
misted and the anger that had previously infected his body
dissipated. Then ensign did something totally unexpected. He leaned
forward and brought him to his breast. When words came they were
"I'm sorry, I never knew."
He wallowed in the circle of his friend's arms a moment relishing the
understanding he found there before the immature synapses of his
brain started firing and translated his comfort into embarrassment.
He released a small nervous laugh and pushed Harry back.
"Hey I'm taken remember!"
Like the good egg that he was, Harry glossed over his adolescent
remark and asked him a question.
"So this urge to tell people you're a clone isn't really about them
learning the truth about you as much as it is about you really
knowing the truth about yourself?"
"Shit it sounds almost profound when you say it."
His best friend in the whole world, outside Chakotay, gave him a
"What can I do?"
"Nothing really, just be there for me I guess."
"What do I do if I go on this quest for a guide and nobody shows up?"
Harry took his beer from the table.
"If there's such a thing as a spirit guide, and mind you I'm not
saying there is cause I still think this whole thing is primitive,
"Oh what makes you so sure."
"Because you are what you think you are and nobody has the willpower
to say no to you when it gets right down to it."
"Oh yeah and what am I?"
" Voyager's resident pain in the ass extraordinare and the best
friend I've ever had. In other words," He raised his bottle and
"The one and only Lieutenant Thomas Eugene Paris."
"Do you have to do that now?"
Despite his disgruntled remark his lover's back arched into his touch
as his teeth nipped at the juncture between his neck and shoulder.
"Oh yeah baby, I not only have to do this I want to." From behind
him, Tom pressed his body flush with the commander's bumping his
erection into the small of his back.
"It must be 3:00 in the morning."
"No it's 3:30 and I still want to fuck you."
A voice still muffled with sleep responded.
He pushed his rigid cock down to slip between the cheeks of
Chakotay's ass and began to pump. A familiar rumble broke from deep
in the first officer's chest.
"Yeah I want to stick my cock up your ass and fuck you so hard you
forget your name." He licked his fingers and tweaked the dark
nipples on a smooth hairless chest. Chakotay bit back a moan and
cursed him. He went with it.
"Oh yeah baby, I'm gonna take you and make you mine."
More growling was the only response. Chakotay was going feral and
that was the only assent he needed. Reaching back behind him he
grabbed the crystal vial of oil scented in sandalwood and tried to
pour its contents over his groin. Most of it spilled on the sheets
of their bed. Damn! Jumping back he tried to scoop up the pooling
liquid in his hand before it soaked away into the mattress.
"Yeah Chak. In a minute."
Shit, shit, shit and double shit. So much for being smooth and
taking the commander in one swift stroke before he knew what hit
him. As he scrambled to salvage what he could of the oil his lover
turned and faced him.
"Tom come here."
Using his thighs Chakotay pulled him over top. Oil dripped off of
his penis down the crack of the first officer's ass. A broad palm
positioned his cock in the right direction.
"Just go slow until I tell you otherwise OK?"
He moved forward to find yielding flesh. He called to Chakotay's
spirits as the head of penis breached the tight opening.
"Oh yeah Poocuh, now push."
Like he could do anything else but he thought as he went deeper into
the abyss that was his lover's core. A hot velvety wetness enveloped
him taking him further and he felt more alive and aware than ever he
had in this life or any life he had ever possessed before.
"Now pull out and push back in."
He shifted Chakotay's thighs over his shoulders and clutched at the
mattress with his toes for leverage.
"Yes now tilt your hips." Hands came behind his knees and redirected
his angle. Chakotay howled.
"Oh spirits now just move." The commander's fingers moved from his
legs and bled into his ass. "Oh fuck Tom move!"
He did what he was told not that he much choice as the pre-pubescent
in him took over. He moved, as he'd never done in his in this body
before and experienced pure jubilation. Untrained synapses fired
wildly in all directions in response and he came explosively.
Through his ecstasy he heard the call of his mate as he joined in his
"Oh Tom, oh gods yessss."
He put his hand to Chakotay's erupting penis in afterthought. It was
already spewing its seed between their bodies and didn't need any
extra attention. After the commander exhausted himself he showered
Tom's face and neck with kisses and lowered his legs.
"By the Spirits I love you, Poocuh."
Chakotay pulled him tighter and kissed his forehead.
"Yes I must have done something right for them to grant me such a
precious gift as you."
If there was ever a time now was it.
"You know I'd like to meet them personally and thank them for you
"Personally? Don't worry they know."
"Yeah maybe but what if I want to know for sure?'
Chakotay adjusted his weight to pull Tom up under his chin as he
maneuvered himself up against the headboard of the bed in a sitting
position. He was now awake and in full commander mode.
"OK my beauty, what is it you want?"
"A vision quest."
The commander became very still for a breath or two until he spoke.
Tremors, so small that unless you were in full body contact with him
would be indiscernible, wracked his body.
"Are you sure."
The silence reigned again. Chakotay took his face in his hands till
it was brought around to his.
"I don't need you to do this for me."
"It's not for you. Will you help me?"
"Yes for you I would do anything however the spirits are not as
devoted. Even though you feel you are ready to meet them, they may
not be ready to meet you."
He got what the commander was saying. He was in effect trying to
cushion the blow of not being successful in finding a guide his first
time out. He appreciated the concern but if they weren't there the
first time, Tom would figure they had refused the invitation all
together. There would be no first times here. It would be all or
nothing. He ignored the commander's concern and reiterated his
"Will you help me or not?"
"Then I will help you but I won't do it without a condition." His
kissed the tip of his nose and brought him close avoiding his eyes.
"Yes if I give you up to the will of the spirits, I want you to know
that they're judgments are not my own. I love you and nothing is
going to change that. I don't need their vilification of your
existence to know that you are real."
"OK then what's the condition."
"That the final say will be mine."
"No Tom I mean it. That when it comes down to it, it will be my
voice you listen to."
"I can't promise you that but I'll try. Will that be enough?"
"I suppose it will have to be."
Wishing he could have given a promise back he edged the commander
down to the mattress and with the gentle caresses of his hands, tried
to lull him back into sleep.