Title: Changes P3
Author: Cheryl Forbes
Fandom: Star Trek: Voyager
Paring: Chakotay/Tom Paris
Rating: NC 17
Series: 3 of ?
Email for feedback: forbesc@skyia.com
Disclaimer: Voyager and her crew are the property of Paramount and
not me. Whatever.
 

Summary: Chakotay realizes that the grass really is greener or in
his case, blond and blue eyed.
 

Do you love who you love?

It was a question Chakotay had debated last night while lay alone in
his single bed and as he walked the crowded aisles of the bazaar this
morning, he still struggled with it.

Was he sexually attracted to Tom Paris because he was falling in love
with him? Or was it the other way around?

The pilot's touch had permeated deeper than anyone's, male or female,
had before. Tom had the ability to reach through his skin and
electrify nerve endings Chakotay didn't know existed or even
mattered.

His whole life had been one long saga of conflict. He had fought his
father, the primitive beliefs of his culture, the Cardassians and the
Federation. There had been no time left over to wrestle with his
sexual orientation nor did it seem that important. His personal
desires often came secondary to the more monumental issues in his
turbulent life.

So if was horny he took a woman or if that wasn't possible he simply
used his hand. It had been what his father and his grandfather
before him had done and it had worked for them. Chakotay had been
satisfied and saw no need to broaden his sexual repertoire to include
men.

Love however had been a different matter. It held no gender for
him. There had been men in his life he'd felt strongly about. Both
his history professor at the Academy and Boothby the groundskeeper
there had excited his mind to new heights and he had been devoted to
them. And then of course there had been William T. Riker.

Despite the difference in their ages, Will was six years his junior,
they had connected immediately. The career orientated young man had
been a senior cadet and he, a teaching assistant at the Academy on
his way up the Fleet ladder. It had been the ever wise Boothby that
had introduced them stating with a sly smile, that he thought they
could both use a friend. The groundskeeper had as always in all
things, been right.

The cadet had opened doors in his mind that his cloistered upbringing
on Dorvan V had made him unaware were there. Until Will had left for
his first assignment on the Pegasus, they had spent all their free
time playing cards, chasing women, discussing their careers and
discovering the world together.

Chakotay had loved the gregarious man completely and missed him
dearly when left, but their relationship had never exceeded the
bounds of the platonic. William Thomas Riker was a man that loved
all things female and although he didn't pursue the opposite sex as
vehemently as his friend, Chakotay had thought he did too. However
he hadn't as of yet met 'Thomas' Eugene Paris.

The irony of the names wasn't lost on Chakotay nor was the
significance. For the second time in his life a man named Thomas was
opening his eyes.

The cock-sure pilot had always inflamed his senses. There wasn't a
time from the day they'd met in the Maquis, that Tom hadn't thrown
him off balance. Nothing the young man did was conventional.

Tom was Starfleet royalty but scorned his privileged heritage. He
rebelled against the rules but surrendered to them willingly when he
broke them. Had a multitude of friends and admirers but remained a
loner. Loved no one but made love to everybody.

With Will he had seen clearly where the different avenues of life
could lead him but with the pilot he couldn't even find the path.

So here he was forty-two years old discovering for the first time
that sex could be more than a release and that it could be found in
the arms of a man. Old dogs and new tricks, he smiled knowing which
one he was in that equation.

What puzzled him however, was why it had taken him all these years to
make the revelation. Was it because he'd never taken the time before
to pay attention to that side of his libido or was it because the man
in question was Tom Paris? Someone who didn't make anymore sense to
him than his feelings did.

So did that mean he was in love with Tom? That no other man would
stir his arousal or that the homoerotic nature of this mission had
just opened another door for him? He didn't know. Chakotay stopped
his strolling at the next booth and took a hard look at the various
Danai sharing the marketplace with him.

Concentrating on their maleness he assessed their level of
attractiveness. They were beautiful creatures but he felt nothing.
He looked up ahead where Tom was a surrounded by a group of the
excessively ornate natives and his heart lurched.

There, talking animatedly in tattered blue jeans, white running shoes
and an aquamarine tee that was sleeveless and hemmed an inch above
his dusky rose nipples exposing his finely muscled stomach, was the
image he had masturbated to three times to last night.

Tom's white blond hair, deep violet eyes and colourful tattoos were
similar to the men that flocked around him but his unique beauty
still shone like a beacon in a fog. The pilot stood out here just
like he had in the Maquis, on Voyager and lately, his thoughts.

Chakotay turned away from his radiance and browsed the wares of the
stall he had stopped in front of. He was brain weary from the all
his heavy musing and needed a distraction.

Like many of the makeshift shops along the festively decorated
boulevard, this vendor sold sexual aids. Displayed before him in way
that was pleasing to the eye, were all types of dildos, sheaths,
sounds, and beads and like the inhabitants of this district they came
in a rainbow of colours.

Chakotay picked up a twelve-inch double headed dong marbled in pink
and blue. He didn't want to buy the over sized dildo, he wouldn't
know what to do with it anyway if he did, he just liked the colours.

"Oh that's wishful thinking." Came an amused voice over his shoulder.

"What? No, I was just looking." Embarrassed, he put the plastic
phallus back down on the table, then wiped his hands down the sides
of his chocolate brown trousers.

"Too bad it could have been fun." Tom said playfully, then came
around to insert his body between him and the booth. He slung his
hips forward and his arms back relaxing against the edge of the
table. "I've made whole bunch more of friends today."

"I saw that."

Chakotay stepped back to break the contact of their groins. It was a
mistake. Now he had a clear view of a frayed hole in the crotch of
Tom's jeans that showed the barest hint of pink. His cock jumped to
attention and his fingers itched to touch the round dot of nearly
exposed flesh.

"They want to meet later tonight at the club, is that OK Chak?"

"Who? Where?" He stammered.

In theory had just made some small peace with himself in
acknowledging his physical attraction for the pilot but this brazen
test of his new found emotions was more than he could handle.

"Is it that bad Chak?"

"No." He stated firmly. Chakotay wasn't sure what Tom was talking
about other than it was about some kind of weakness and that wasn't
the way he wanted to appeared to the man who had the ability to make
him feel like a towering god.

"Oh fuck, yeah it is." Tom smirked down at the dark bulge peeping
under the last button of his linen shirt and grabbed his hand. "Come
on."

"Where are we going?"

"To make you feel better."

********

He could be pure evil when he wanted something.

Leading the aroused commander into the closest alley, Tom battled
with the dark side of himself.

Chakotay's mind may be in this for the clinical experience but his
body didn't know that. It reacted to him like any other one he
wanted to fuck. Last night's encounter had taught Tom that the dark
sculpted body didn't care if he was a man or a woman, it would still
come if he gave it the right stimulus.

He pushed the commander into the cold brick wall of the dimly lit
alley and kissed him savagely.

Chakotay was going to accept his repressed feelings if it killed
him. Tom had no choice but to seduce his body to get at his soul.
Last night while fucking his fist alone in his room, he'd admitted to
himself he was in love with the emotionally screwed up first
officer. He had cried as he came over his hand.

Nothing ever came easy for him. Life hated him and made sure that
every smidgen of happiness it meted out was accompanied with a good
wallop of tragedy.

He could break the warp ten barrier but not without evolving into an
over grown lizard. He could handle a ship like quick silver but he'd
have to kill a few of his friends first to perfect the skill. He
could fall in love but only with someone who couldn't love him. His
heart could break with deafening sound but no but him would hear it.

Well this time life could blow him. He was going after Chakotay
using all and any means at his disposal and if that meant
manipulating the commander's professional objectively, so be it.
This time Thomas Eugene Paris wasn't going to just merely bend the
rules, he was going to blast them away completely. So fuck life if
couldn't take a joke.

Lifting the front of the commander's cream coloured shirt, he
attacked the fastening of his brown trousers and palmed his erect
penis. Chakotay moaned into his shoulder but didn't pull away.
Encouraged, he fisted the engorged member mercilessly until its owner
was weeping and crying out for release.

Bringing his hand to his up to his mouth, Tom licked off the coating
of Chak's precome that had slicked his fingers during the hand job,
and retrieved the lube he'd purchased earlier from his pocket. He
held the vial up for the commander to see.

"Do you see this you bastard." Tom foisted his pent up anger on to
his lover. He'd have to work on that.

"Yes baby." Chakotay kissed the hand that held the oil.

"This is what you're going to use to fuck me with."

"You? I can't, I've neverů-"

"If you want me you will." He slapped the lube into his hand.

"Not here." Chakotay regained some his usual composure. "I do want
this Tom butů-"

"Just shut the hell up and take me."

Tom stepped back from Chak, made a production of undoing the front of
his pants and then moved beside him, leaning his cheek into the cold
wall. Reaching his hands back he thumbed his jeans over his rump and
let them fall to his ankles.

"Put the oil on your dick Chak." Tom braced his forearms on the wall
and jutted his ass out.

"Don't I have to ready you?"

"It's already done. Just take the plug out before you enter me."

"Oh spirits."

"Yeah whatever, now stop playing the bashful schoolgirl and fuck me."

Tom felt soft kisses along the top of his shoulder blades and
feathered caresses along his ribcage. He wasn't surprised. The
commander was treating him like a woman. Chak didn't understand that
he didn't need the consideration of foreplay. He just needed his
dick inside of him now.

"Rough Chak, I want it rough."

The tender mercies stopped and Tom felt hands spread his ass cheeks
and the plastic dildo he had inserted into his anus in preparation
for an event such as this, was removed. Not longer after he felt the
length of the commander's body meld behind his. His thick and now
oiled penis rested between the crack of his ass but didn't penetrate
him. It held still.

"Tell me again how you want this." Chakotay breathed into his ear.

"Rough. I need to feel your cock in my ass and I want it hard. That
way I'll know you're there."

"You'll know. Oh baby you'll know."

A fist in his hair jerked his head back. As white stars of pain
floated over his irises, he felt a thickness invade him. And that's
was it was an invasion, an assault. Chakotay had taken his words to
heart and rammed the entirety of his cock up his ass in one hard
thrust. Oh fuck in his fury he'd forgotten that Chak's penis was no
lightweight. It was thick and heavy and demanded more respect than
his anger had given it.

Tears welled his eyes as the commander's cock pulsed in and out of
him. There was some pain but there was also incredible pleasure and
that's what most of the tears were for. Shifting back, he rested one
arm under his forehead to cushion the blows from behind and pulled at
his aching penis.

"Oh baby," Chak humped faster into him. "I can't, I can'tů-"

As Tom heard the strangled cry of the commander's climax hit he
yanked his dick harder. He wanted to come in the same moment of time
as Chakotay. Looking down he saw white liquid spurt from the head of
his penis and the shuddering of his pelvis caused by his lover's hips
spasming in orgasm.

Overcome by the sight, Tom began to cry in earnest. A smile split
his face as he wept freely. Man, if his father were here and saw him
crying for the second time in as many days he'd probably cuff him a
good one up side the head. Tom began to laugh through his tears. Oh
fuck if the admiral really saw him now, with his pants down around
his ankles in a dark alley and a Maquis traitor stuck up his butt,
he'd probably have a heart attack before even he had a chance to lay
a hand on him.

"Tom are you OK?"

"What? Oh yeah I'm good."

He shifted his hips forward to dislodge the commander's cock from his
ass. He closed his eyes relishing the feel of Chakotay's even
flaccid penis moving in his passage. When the head fell from his
anus, Tom brought his pants up and turned around. Chakotay was three
shades of pale and sweating like he'd just run a marathon.

"Oh man Chak, are you OK?" Tom hooked his arms under the big man's
armpits as the commander lifted his hands and braced them on wall
behind him.

"No I feel like I've just been hit by a Cardassian's disrupter." He
smiled. The dimples in his cheeks made a perfect triad with the one
in his chin. "Only worse. I'm not as young as used be."

"OK as long as you don't fucking die on me old man. Shit how the
hell would I explain that one to the captain in my next report?"

"Death by Paris?" He offered wrapping his thick strong arms around
his waist.

"No that doesn't have enough panache."

"How about if you said I died 'in' Paris then?"

"That would be better only were in the wrong quadrant for that."

"Right. How about you just tell her I died with a smile on my face."

"Better." Tom conceded, enjoying the game.

Chakotay lifted a finger to his wet cheeks. "What are these for?"
He asked, the humour leaving his voice.

"It's nothing."

Ducking under Chak's arm, Tom wiped his face with the back of his
hand.

"It is 'not' nothing." Chakotay twisted and deftly caught him by the
wrist. "Tell me what you're feeling."

Oh wasn't this fucking romantic! Here he was acting like it was his
first time and the commander wanted to counsel him instead of
cuddling him. Well screw that.

"I don't want to talk about it." He snatched his wrist back and
finished doing up his pants. Chakotay's were still open but the fall
of 'his' shirt was long enough to cover his gaping fly. It pissed
him off. He didn't why it did, it just did.

"Tom you were crying." His voice was very solemn. "I want to know
why."

"Bite me Counselor." He spat. Tom spied the discarded butt plug
lying on the alley's dirty floor and kicked it at the commander. It
bounced twice before hitting the big man in the shin. "I'm outta
here." He said and headed back out to the bazaar.

Tom was emerging into the sunlight, when he felt a strong hand on his
shoulder. With one forceful tug, he was spun around to face the dark
alley again and a darker Chakotay. Tom stepped back.

"You are not running away from me again. Do you hear me Tom Paris?"
Chak's hands clenched as he advanced on him slowly. "I will not
allow you to drive me crazy with lust and then leave me alone trying
to figure out what just happened!"

Looking around wildly for an escape but only seeing spectators, he
looked back at the commander. Shit weren't therapists supposed to be
sweet little lambs? If they were, somebody better tell Chak because
he looked a raging bull.

"Sex happened Chak." He said in his most calming voice, offering his
hands palms up. The commander batted them away and the crowd behind
Tom ooohed.

"I 'know' that Tom, I'm not a fucking idiot. What I need to know is
why."

"Why?"

"Yes dammit!" Chak screamed into his face. "I know what I get out of
it, or at least I'm beginning to, but what do you get?"

The silence was amazing. On a block of a hundred or so people nobody
spoke, they barely breathed.

"Everything." Tom said softy. He looked into Chak's gorgeous brown
eyes and thought what the fuck and went for broke. "I get you."

"Me?"

"Yeah for a short moment in time I own you, Chakotay. Not the
upright commander or the understanding counselor, but the big hearted
handsome man, who can make even me feel special."

The audience that had closed around them in a horseshoe aahed their
support for him. Chakotay didn't notice.

"But why use sex?" The big man's anger was diffusing in to
confusion. "Why not just tell me how you feel?"

Tom heard the gang of Danai around him murmur curiously. He sensed
they wanted to know the answer as much as Chakotay did.
Unfortunately for them somethings were sacred to Tom. When he told
Chak he loved him, it would not be in front of a bunch of nosy thrill
seekers. He resurrected his playful tone from the alley hoping Chak
would understand.

"Because I talk better with my hands old man." Tom announced
boldly. "And in private." He added in a softer tone that only the
commander could hear.

The anger started to resurface in his ebony eyes but only briefly as
Chakotay finally started to take his surroundings. Seeing the
surprise on his face, Tom was sure his lover had honestly forgotten
that they were standing in a busy marketplace discussing their love
life. He recovered quickly.

"Well I did get your point Tom."

The commander had conceded to the crowd but not him. Tom knew once
they were alone they were going to have one hell of a discussion.

"I do believe it was the other way around old man." He said sweetly,
brushing his fingertips over Chak's tattoo. Catcalls and whistles
erupted from their audience.

"Yes well next time it will be my turn to talk and I warn you
Thomas," The commander grabbed his hand and kissed the palm. "I
really feel like talking." He bit the fleshy part below his thumb
and gave him an evil grin. "A lot."

And the crowd went wild.

TBC