Title:  Past Resurfacing (2/?)
Author:  CatHeights 
Pairing: VOY (P/T) 
Rating:  R, some angst 
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Feedback: CatHeights@yahoo.com
Archive:  If someone wants to fine by me as long as you drop me an e-mail letting me know where it is archived. 
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Spoiler Warning: Thirty Days 
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Disclaimer: Paramount owns all rights to Star Trek Voyager, its characters, and the Voyager episodes referred to in this story.  The story idea is mine, but I am doing this just for fun, no money to be made. 
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      As soon as the security guard lowered the field, Harry Kim stepped into the brig.   He called Tomís name softly.  He didnít want to wake him as Tuvok had mentioned Tom had not been sleeping much.  However, he only had this one chance to visit.  It had been difficult to convince the Captain to let him visit Tom, and in the end, it had been Tuvok who had changed her mind.  At first, when Tuvok suggested that Harry should be able to visit for a short time, the Captain had glared at him, dismissed Harry, and remained in her ready room with Tuvok for almost an hour.   Harry knew Tuvok had been telling the Captain of the numerous security personnel reports he had received on Tomís repeatedly waking from his sleep, screaming.  Upon exiting the Captainís ready room, Tuvok calmly informed Harry that the Captain had granted him a 15-minute visit with Tom.  Harry had felt the urge to hug the Vulcan but figured that might get him thrown in the brig. 

      Tom didnít respond when Harry called his name, but he did turn over.  "Tom," Harry said a little louder.  He thought Tom mumbled his name back but then realized he was talking in his sleep.  Harry knelt down next to him and listened.  "No, God, please no, please.  She canít.  If only I was quicker, please no."  As Harry listened Tom 
began to toss restlessly. 

      Harry reached out and gently shook Tom.  "Tom, come on wake up.  Itís me Harry."  Tom didnít respond he just kept repeating, "please no."  Harry shook Tom again lightly and said louder, "Come on Tom, wake up. Tom!" 

          Tom sat up pulling himself from Harryís hands breathing heavily.  "Itís all right.  Itís just me, Harry.  You were having a dream.  Take a deep breath," Harry said soothingly.  Tom closed his eyes for a minute focusing on his breathing. 

      "Harry, donít scare a guy like that," Tom said his eyes still closed.  Slowly he opened them and looked at the floor.  "What are you doing here?  If you came to try to sneak me out of the brig, I think you need to work on being less obvious." 

      Harry chuckled at the weak attempt at humor.  "The Captain gave me permission to visit you, but only for a few minutes." 

      "Nice of her," Tom said leaning back against the wall.  The shock of the nightmare was quickly fading.  Tomís face was a blank. He looked as if he could have cared less whether Harry visited or not. 

      "Must have been some dream you were having.  It took me a while to get you to wake from it.  Nightmare?" Harry asked. 

      Tomís expression didnít change.  "You could say that." 

      "Do you want to talk about it?" Harry asked concerned. 
      "Nothing to talk about," Tom said. 

      All right this is going nowhere, Harry thought.  Letís try a slightly different tact.  "You look awful, Tom," Harry said. 

      "Gee thanks," Tom said with a small bitter laugh.  "Hate to hear Iím disappointing my visitors.  I get so many." 

      "How are you doing?" Harry asked holding onto his patience. 

      "Never better. 30 days, no problem whatsoever," Tom said fooling neither himself nor Harry.  Silence fell between the two friends as Harry tried to figure out a way to get past Tomís defenses.  Some way to get him to talk. 

      After a few moments, Tom spoke softly,  "Howís BíElanna?" 

      "She misses you a lot." 

      Tom swallowed before speaking. "Will you tell her that I miss her too?" 

      "Of course," Harry said.  "She tried to convince the Captain to let her come and visit, but she had no luck." Tom just nodded and said nothing. 

      "So," Harry said.  "What have you been doing?" 

      Tom laughed bitterly again.  "Why thinking and more thinking.   What else would one do?"  The laughter died and he said quietly,  "Actually I started a letter to my father.  I thought that maybe I could explain it to him.  Silly, huh?  I donít think Iíll finish it." 

      Relieved that Tom was explaining something to someone even if it was in a letter, Harry said, "No, itís not silly. I think you should finish it." 

      "Whatever.  Itís not really worth the time, but itís something to do.  Besides whatís to explain.  Heíll never understand," Tom said closing his eyes again. 

      "He might and he might read it someday," Tom just snorted dismissively.  "It might help you sort things out," Harry continued. 

      "Thereís nothing to sort out," Tom countered stubbornly. 

      Annoyed Harry snapped, "So what, you are going to do, just delete it?  What a waste of time." 

      "Well," Tom snapped back, "Itís my time wasted and I have plenty of it.  Iím good at wasting time, making mistakes.  Let me do what I do best." 

      "Tom," Harry started again his concern increasing. Tom was far from all right. 

      "It was nice of you to come by, Harry." 

      Harry took the hint and stood to leave.  He knew he wasnít going to get anywhere with Tom.  Not while he was in the brig.  "Alright, Iíll see you in 14 days," Harry said.  He signaled to the guard to lower the field.  When he was outside of it, he turned toward Tom and said, "You always told me that your father said you never finished anything.  Why donít you prove him wrong?" 

      Tom watched as Harry left the brig and sighed. What the heck, there wasnít anything else to do and besides it kept him from thinking about the nightmares. Frowning, he said, "Computer, resume letter." 

TBC