Title:  Promises, Promises Author: Danae Bowen Series: Voyager Spoilers:  The Muse... kinda. Part: 1/1 Rating: NC17 Archive: Please do Comments:  Please, to either lfox@continuum.org or here, but please be nice, I'm breakable. Disclaimer:  Voyager and her crew belong to Paramount, et al., and the creators of the star trek universe.  As is obvious by my utter lack of talent, no money will be made by this story, and no copyright infringement was intended.  Oh, and I rarely read fan fiction, so if this bridges on anyone elses story, my apologies.  It was not my intention. Summary:  After B'Elanna returns from being missing, Tom cracks under the stress of worry.  B'Elanna has to help him deal with the emotions colliding with in him. ***** All right.. my muse is back on her daily regimine of crack.  :P  But I think I'm going to slap her if she keeps up this late night writing thing. :P  Lots of angst.. lots of sex.. enjoy!     Promises, Promises   It was amusing how they came together, emotions clashing beyond all comprehension.  Tonight they had argued.  He'd been worried, drained, emotionally and physically exhausted having worried for her for weeks.  He'd met her in sick bay, shoving aside the doctor's grumbling as he took over treating her himself.  His hands were gentle as he examined every visable part of her, his fingers trembled as he held the dermal regenerator over the bruise on her forehead. She could see it building up behind those vibrant blue eyes of his.  She could see the storm on the horizon and quietly she battoned down her reactions, preparing to take the explosion with grace. It took a long time to come, however.  She was caught off guard when it actually did.  After he had assured himself that she was for the most part unharmed, after he had kissed her senseless, the doctor, Harry and the Captain be damned, and after he had just stepped back and taken a long look at her, he turned on his heel and walked out of sick bay.  She had watched him in semi-confusion for the moment, the others in the room showing extreme surprise, but she understood.  He had proved to himself that he hadn't lost her, and now the fear that he would was driving him away.  She sighed, and knew instantly where he could be found. It took two hours before the doctor would let her away from sickbay, ordering her to her quarters for rest.  She'd had enough rest.  Instead she headed for the shuttlebay where she knew the remains of the Delta Flyer were being stored until the ship could be repaired.  Sure enough, the sound of some tool crashing against the metal floor greeted her the moment the doors opened. She stayed silent, watching him as he spoke quietly, working on the 'Flyer as if it were one of his antique cars.  He treated that shuttle as if it were his lover, his hands smoothing it's scarred shell as if his mere touch could heal it.  He chose another tool, and moved slowly towards one of the 'Flyer's more obviously damaged sections. "Don't worry, baby.  I'll have you back in shape in a few weeks, I promise." She slid a little deeper into the shuttlebay, grateful that for the moment he hadn't noticed her.  She knew Tom Paris like no other person in the galaxy, but sometimes she felt like he was a stranger. He ran his hand over the holes in the ship before slowly beginning to repair the damage.  The systems would be easier to repair than the hull, but he wanted his mind to be somewhere other than on B'Elanna Torres, and somehow, repairing computer systems did just the opposite. "What did she do to you?"  he asked softly as he pulled the broken shards of the main screen out of the 'Flyer's fractured hull.  "Poor baby.  I knew I should have gone." B'Elanna's eyebrow rose as she listened to him.  Leave it to Tom to baby a piece of metal.  'What do you think you do to your engines?' a little voice inserted, but B'Elanna shrugged it off. "I would have protected you.  Noone would have laid a hand on you if I had been there."  Sealing the fractures in the front hull, he turned and picked up a new view screen.  B'Elanna's jaw dropped; somebody had to give him the go ahead to replicate components, but who would this quickly?  She watched as he tenderly fitted the new screen into place, sealing the edges with hands that no longer trembled. He moved to the wounds in her side, gentling the unfeeling metal with hands that could make the strongest woman weep.  Quietly he began to fuse the tears back together, replacing full sections if they were too badly damaged. "You'll be all right.  You're back home now, baby, and everything will be all right." She watched him from the shadows for over an hour; watched him soothe and baby the 'Flyer, watching the repairs slowly begin to fade the scarring she herself had inflicted.  Finally, she stepped forward. "Tom?" He glanced up at her in surprise.  "B'Elanna. I didn't hear you come in." "So I noticed." "Did you need something?" "Yeah.  My lover." Tom shrugged.  "I've got a lot of work, right now, B'Elanna.  Why don't you get some sleep and I'll see you at the staff meeting in the morning." "No." He blinked.  "No?" "No.  I'm not going to leave you here to make love to that shuttle instead of me." His breath hissed in his throat.  "B'Elanna, you're being ridiculous." "And you're being evasive." "I'm trying to repair the damage you inflicted.  We need this shuttle." "Not in the next hour, Tom.  I think Voyager will survive long enough for us to talk." "We never just talk." "So we'll set a precedent.  Now tell me what's wrong." "You mangeled the 'Flyer, B'Elanna, what do you want me to say?" She stared at him in disbelief.  "Maybe welcome home.  I've been worried about you?  Thank god you're okay?  Anything except you destroyed the Delta Flyer, bad B'Elanna!  I'm not a dog, Tom." "I know.  I'm sorry, okay, I just don't feel like talking right now." "I do." The tools that Tom had been holding in his hand clattered to the floor along with the new hull material he had been applying to the 'Flyer.  Slowly, he rose to his feet. "Fine, you want to talk?  Let's talk.  Let's talk about me not being able to do my job for two weeks 'cause I couldn't concentrate on anything except you.  Let's talk about the fact I nearly got myself put on report because I was more than ready to take a shuttle and just go without permission.  I would have laid my life down just to make sure you were all right, B'Elanna, and that scares the living shit out of me! But you want to know what scares me even more?  It scares me that I wouldn't have cared about any of it if you hadn't come home." It was B'Elanna's turn to blink suddenly.  She had expected anger, but not the confusion that bleeded through eyes pleading with her to explain why he felt as he did. "Tom, I.." "You say you love me, B'Ela, but do you really?" "What?"  He'd lost her. "Would you die if I never came home?  If on one of our mighty adventures I couldn't get out in the nick of time, and I couldn't come back to you, would your life end with me?"  She was too shocked to reply, and Tom sighed.  "I didn't think so.  You know I don't do the self pity thing all that much anymore.  I'm pretty okay with myself for the most part, but I don't expect you to want to give up if I were to drop dead this instant.  You'd go on, find someone else.. hell, maybe you'd even get with Vorrik, not that he'd complain." "TOM!" "NO!  You wanted to talk, so you listen to me!"  He stressed his next words seperately, speaking in slow, strong sylabols.  "I would die for you, B'Elanna.  And I would die if you never came home.  And I hate that.  I hate THIS." "Do you hate me?"  Her voice was suddenly small as she horribly began to wonder if this was it. "Oh Christ, NO!"  His face was pained, his head falling back to stare at the ceiling for just one moment.  "I can't make you understand, B'Ela.  I can't even begin to explain.  But when you were gone, I hurt everywhere.  I know that out here there's a chance that one of us will go out one day and not come home, and my heart can't take it.  All I want to do right now is grab you and hold you so close to me; I want to make it so that you'll never have to go again, never have to be in danger again.  But B'Elanna we're all in danger, every day out here and I can't make it STOP!" She took a step forward, but he backed away, his arm out in front of him. "NO!  Don't, please!  I can't.. I just CAN'T!" Her heart ached for him but she couldn't just stand and watch him fall to pieces in front of her.  She moved forward again, backing him into the hull of the Delta Flyer until he had no place left to run.  Very gently, she reached out and cupped his cheek in the palm of her hand. "You can, Tom.  We both can.  Don't you think I had the same fears?  Don't you think I have them every time you leave my sight?"  Her fingers stroked his strong jawline as she pressed herself up close against him.  "I've learned something being with you."  He looked up slowly, not saying a word. "I've learned how to love.  Love is fear, Tom, and it's joy, and it's warmth and cold at the same time.  We have to learn to value the joy and warmth over the fear and cold or love would kill us all." "B'Elanna."  Her name was a groan upon his lips as his arms wrapped around her, crushing her to him in a strength born of fear and pure need.  She allowed him to move at his own pace, resting her head upon his chest and contented herself with listening to his heart beat while his fingers stroked her back and hair. He moved his head down, pressing his lips to the soft flesh between her shoulder and her neck, his tongue tasting the sweet salty flavour that was only B'Elanna.  He sighed deep against her skin, his soft kisses turning into gentle bites that made her toes curl.  Two weeks was a hell of a long time to have been apart. Tom had no resistance when it came to B'Elanna, he needed her as much as his lungs needed oxygen.  He turned suddenly, lifting her and pressing her against the hull of the Delta Flyer, claiming her lips with his own, bruising her with the force of his kiss.  B'Elanna had no complaints, meeting his kiss with equal force, her nails digging into his back as he lifted her off the floor.  His hands travelled down her body to her bottom, cupping her gently, urging her to part her legs as he stepped in between. She locked her ankles above his waist, rolling her head back against the 'Flyer as he rocked against her, his mouth feasting upon her throat and the sweet hollow he found there. "B'Elanna.." Her name was a whisper now as he delved lower, nudging to the side the open flaps of her uniform to nuzzle into the hollow between her breasts.  He nibbled the damp material of her starfleet issue tank top, sliding his tongue under it and across the top of her small breasts. She braced herself against the Delta Flyer, her legs supporting her upon his body as she shrugged out of the top to her uniform.  He smiled, pressing his mouth to her flesh once again, his left hand coming up to knead her breast ungently, his right massaging her bottom in slow circles. "Tom.." Her voice was low and shakey as she tried to shake herself out of the moment.  "Tom, not here." He shook his head, glancing up at her.  "Yes, here." "Someone could come in." "Doesn't matter." "But PDAs..." "This isn't a PDA, B'Elanna.  It's much much worse." "Tom..." "Shhh.  Trust me, B'Ela.. I need you to trust me." She sighed.  It was hopeless for her to try and fight against him; one pleading look from those warp core blue eyes and she was lost.  She smiled down at him, and raised the tank top over her head, allowing her breasts to fall free. He stepped back, lowering her to the ground, taking a moment to admire her beautiful body.  She was perfect; he didn't know or care if anyone else agreed with him, but to Tom, she was absolutely perfect.  He pulled his shirt over his head, and they both worked on the pants of their uniforms. If they were going to do this in public, there would be no time for the slow removal of garmets.  Naked, B'Elanna shivered.  The shuttle bay was cool, and her nipples hardened instantly.  Tom's eyes twinkled as he caught sight of them, and he bent forward, capturing one hardened peak in his hot mouth. He suckled softly at her right nipple for several moments, his teeth gently rasping her skin before biting down hard enough to draw a soft cry from her swollen lips.  He grinned into her flesh and moved to her other breast, repeating his actions there.  His hand moved up to caress her abandoned breast, his fingers circling and tweaking the already distendned nipple as his teeth and lips wreaked havok with the other.  Her soft growling spurred him on, and he lifted her upwards, dragging is warm tongue over her stomach as he raised her. Reaching back, B'Elanna braced her hands against the newly replaced view screen of the Delta Flyer, and Tom braced her under her knees.  The danger of perhaps being caught, and the need to claim her for his own drove him wild.  He raised her knees higher, urging her to wrap her legs around his neck as he slowly began to lick up the inside of her calf. He loved every crevace of B'Elanna's body, but his favorite part of her was that sweet, tender skin behind her knee.  Pressing his head against her smooth calf, his tongue slowly began to lap at that very piece of flesh. His teeth scrapped her warm skin, his tongue driving her mad.  He was so close to where she wanted him the most, and yet so far.  She whimpered pitefully, spreading her legs, using her ankles to try and drag his head closer to her center.  She regretted now not having use of her hands, but as Tom smiled once more, and began his travel upwards, she immediately forgot any thoughts that had tried to form. His tongue found her center instantly, driving past her lower lips and deep into the center of her body.  He was fairly sure he heard his name called, mixed with the names of several dieties as his tongue drove in and out of her body in a steady rythmn.  He moved his mouth slightly, capturing her clit between his teeth as he slipped two fingers deep into her moist channel.  Her groan was long and deep as her hips bucked up towards his mouth, her hands convulsed upon the view screen, and she slid slightly, the motion causing her body to press deeper against Tom's mouth and hands.  Tom, himself, growled in the back of his throat as he worked her oversensitive nub with his teeth and tongue, his fingers mimicking the actions that his straining errection was aching to achieve.  He could feel her beginning to convulse around him, and his eyes trailed to her face as she rocked herself desperately against him.  He gloried in the sight of her as she reached orgasm, her teeth biting into her lip so hard that she drew blood, her eyes tightly shut, small rivulets of sweat beading between the ridges of her distinctive forehead.  Gods she's beautiful, he thought to himself as he applied just the slightest touch more pressure to her clit with his teeth, driving her over the edge.  Her cry echoed off the walls of the empty shuttlebay, and his tongue lapped delicately at the juices presented. His heart was beating faster than he ever thought possible as he lowered her, his hands trailing gently over the smooth flesh of her thighs.  He wrapped her legs securely around his waist, pressing forward against her, not allowing her the time to recover before plunging his straining errection deeply into her sweet damp depths.  She cried out with the feeling of him stretching her, filling her so completely, and he paused.  He was burried in her to the hilt, her tight pressure squeezing down on him, and his jaw dropped in glorious ecstacy with the feeling of it. He leaned forward, capturing her lips in a sweet lingering kiss, allowing her to adjust to his presence.  Her groan was longing, her body trying to move against him but too pinned between him and the Delta Flyer to achieve the feelings she was craving.  He had meant to tease her, but it had been so long, and he couldn't hold out.  He took a hold of her hips gently, and ever so slowly withdrew, drawing a groan of pleasure from them both.  He pressed back into her just as slowly, teasing them, knowing her position kept her helpless to his whims.  He pulled back again, and slid forward, wishing he could make this feeling last forever, but he was only human.  He increased his pace, his nails digging deeply into her backside as he drove into her in deep, rapid thrusts.  He knew his nails were drawing blood from her flawless skin, but he couldn't help himself as his grip grew tighter with each stroke he took.  All too soon he felt himself tighten, moving towards that one moment that would shatter his mind and heal his heart.  He reached between them with one hand, finding her engorged bundle of nerves and stirring it rapidly as he took his final plunges towards ecstacy. He felt her vaginal walls tighten and clench around him, squeezing him beyond any possibility of his maintaining control.  With a cry of pure delight, he exploded deep with in her, feeling her shudder with her own orgasm moments later.  The echoes of their cries mingled in their ears as Tom slowed his actions, and with a sigh of regret slid from B'Elanna's warm, welcoming body, maintaining enough sense to gently ease her to the floor. Together, they leaned upon the cool surface of the Delta Flyer, taking a moment to catch their breath, slowing their heartbeats with an agonizing effort. Tom breathed out a long breath, and ever so softly began to smile. "I missed you." B'Elanna grinned, shaking her head as she leaned down to retrieve her clothing.  "So I noticed." Tom followed suit, and they both quickly donned their clothing.  Turning, B'Elanna caught sight of the marks her back and hands had made against the view screen of the 'Flyer.  She began to giggle. "What?" "I challenge you to try flying this thing and not think about *that* every time." Tom grinned.  "If I ever get her space worthy again." B'Elanna sobered.  "I'm sorry about the shuttle, Tom." He shrugged.  "Shit happens, B'Elanna.  As long as you keep on coming home, I'll be happy." She wrapped her arms around him, and pressed her lips to his in a gentle, lingering kiss.  "As long as I have you to come home to, flyboy, I'll be here." "Promise?" B'Elanna rolled her eyes.  "Neither of us believes in promises, Tom." "Maybe we should work on changing that." Before B'Elanna could reply, her comm badge chirped.  "Janeway to Torres." "Go ahead, Captain." "I'm sorry to bother you so late, B'Elanna, but I'd like to meet with you in my ready room for a debriefing on your experiences of the last two weeks." "I'm on my way." B'Elanna turned back to Tom and shrugged helplessly.  This would be a conversation they would have to save for another time. "Don't work too hard, Paris." "Keep out of Engineering, Torres." "Or what?" "I'll sick the doc on ya." B'Elanna rolled her eyes, and grinned.  They really were going to be okay. END