I Do, cherish you

~ Amy ~

Rating- PG

Declaimer- Since I don't claim to be associated w/ Paramount in any way, I don't own these people. Just having a little fun and losing sleep staying up to write stories about their wonderful characters. The "Day of Honor" written by Michael Jan Friedman(Episode by Jeri Taylor) is not mine but wonderful work. The song, "I do, Cherish you." Is by 98 Degrees. I do not claim to have thought of it and the "She's all I ever need" is By Ricky Martin. All credit and applause goes to them on their lovely songs. 

Synopsis- Just playing with the ever nagging question on why Tom Paris hasn't said I love you...And the importance of those words...

I Do, cherish you

For the rest of your life, you don't have to think twice

I will love you still

From the depths of my soul, it's beyond my control

I've waited so long to say this to you

If you're asking do I love you this much

I do


"Just once Tom, would it really hurt you so much??" Tom Paris sat in the cooled sand of Tahiti, staring into oblivion. Her voice, accusing, soft, and vulnerable filled his ears and his mind. He let out a quiet scream of frustration and fell back into the cold embrace of the lonely beach. How had this happened?? Not that it was a first for him. They had fought often enough; he allowed a bitter smile to grace his shaded features. Yet somehow this argument was different, important, to him and to their relationship. He replayed their conversation through his dazed mind, trying to think of some way to fix what he had broken.


B'Elanna Torres lay in the arms of Voyager's helmsman, Tom Paris. The couple had decided to spend a little time, together, on the darkened beach of Tahiti. She sighed contently and buried her head further in the "pillow" of his neck. Engineering had been a nightmare that day, her temper had reached its limit and beyond several times. Carey had called in sick, some virus he picked up on the last away mission, making her bring in Seven as a replacement. That alone was enough to ruin her day. Seven had been..upset..about leaving astrometrics. Not that the Chief Engineer could have cared any less. Seven had disappeared in to a jeffries tube and left B'Elanna alone with Vorick and Ensign Peters to run Engineering. When they were unable to access a major control panel B'Elanna had crawled through jeffries tube after jeffries tube, searching for the former borg, certain that she was behind her problems. B'Elanna was not disappointed when she found Seven working on some astrometrics project on an interface in one isolated jeffries tube. When she got back; after sending Seven back to her alcove; she found Vorik standing by the core, looking distinctly confused. Two more panels had shut down, all because of Seven's little project. B'Elanna had been forced to spend hours doing mindless rerouting when she had much more important things to be doing. Needless to say her temper was at an end. However, now all that mattered was the present, Tom, her, and an empty beach. Lying in a peace she never thought she would feel she was overcome with how much she truly loved this man. Sure, they fought, they bickered, but they always had the ability to overcome that and comfort and complete one another. She would have never thought it was possible for her to feel such happiness. For someone to love her. She turned and laid her head under his. 

" I love you Tom." the words came to her easily now, though a year ago she almost died before she could say them. 

" Um-hum." He mumbled against her hair. She felt herself tense under his hands. Her temper, still frayed, began to rage. She shot up and looked him dead in his blue eyes, her dark gaze no doubt murderous. 

" Um-Hum! What's that supposed to mean!?" She stood to confront him. 

He looked confused and exasperated, 

" What's wrong B'Elanna?" He looked up her, a casual look of amused tolerance written on his features, hoping to charm his way out of another predicament. But this only fueled her anger. 

" What's wrong?! You are so insensitive!" At first she was blowing steam and she knew it, but suddenly this argument meant more to her than a way to vent her anger. It brought up old insecurities, one's she thought she had squandered. If he couldn't say those three simple words to her.. what did that mean?? 

"B'Elanna," he looked slightly annoyed, " Not this again. You know how I feel about you." He patted the towel next to him. " Sit down B'Elanna, relax." He closed his eyes, reveling in the moonlight.

Enraged, B'Elanna stalked towards the holodeck door, though Tom was oblivious to her actions. As she stepped out into the corridor she couldn't stop herself from throwing over her shoulder a last sentiment, 

"You're a pig Paris." She paused and her voice took on a softer tone, she let some of her vulnerability sink into her words, "Just once Tom, would it really hurt you so much?" And she was gone.


Three words!! Was that so much to ask?! Lt. B'Elanna Torres stalked down the corridors, her whole appearance and attitude radiating with palpable anger and disgust. She stopped at the entrance to her quarters causing a young ensign to trip over his feet at her sudden stop. He quickly picked himself up and scurried away from his steaming senior officer, his fear of her wrath obvious. Her initial annoyance with Paris had melted into a deeper anger, more fearful than hateful, that consumed her and permeated her thoughts. She was falling victim to her own lack of self-esteem, something she had much experience doing. As she entered her quarters she pulled off her sandal and hurled it against the cold, unmoving bulkhead. At least it wasn't breakable, she hurled her other sandal against the wall, receiving the same lack of response. She flopped down on her couch, drawing up the red, hand-woven wrap she had draped across the ledge. She had often used this blanket to "ward off" the fears and insecurities she was plagued by, on the Day of Honor, after her half completed engrimatic purge on Mari, after the Captain had let that Cardassin operate on her. The blanket soothed her, much like Tom's embrace. However, the last thing she wanted to think about was him. Sadly, she couldn't help it. His blue eyes; blemished by the look of annoyance they had held as he watched her mounting anger; haunted her, filled the darkness of her closed eyes. She could feel his arms around her, the feel of his strong body beneath her as she let go of the stresses she had bottled up. The blanket wrapped tighter around her little frame. She tried to block the images, and the emotions they brought. She loved him, that much she was sure of. The only question was, could he love her? 


The young ensign who had ran into B'Elanna Torres earlier made his way quickly through the corridors, still shaken from his encounter. 

B'Elanna Torres was intimidating on a good day, when she was mad.....He turned a corner and nearly flew over Tom Paris, who was sitting on he floor outside Holodeck 2. 

" Sorry Ensign." The helmsman didn't raise his gaze. 

" No problem sir." he stuttered. *This was a bad day* the ensign decided to himself. Torn between staying and comforting the obviously upset Paris and going on to his safe quarters the ensign decided the latter. He took off down the hallway, at the fastest pace he could manage without running, When he reached the safety of his quarters he collapsed into a chair.

*Perhaps I should send a warning to engineering...*


Tom Paris roused himself from the empty corridor outside of Holodeck2. The ensign who had tripped over him had disappeared beyond the curve of the wall. His holodeck time had expired, though no one had come to take over. He began to wander aimlessly down the hallways until he stumbled across his quarters. He didn't bother to turn on the lights, preferring an atmosphere to suit his mood. He made his way to his bed, again not bothering to remove his sandals or clothing. How could he have been so stupid? So insensitive? He pressed him head back into a pillow, wallowing in self-recriminations. How could she put up with him? He was a pig, he decided, a prize pig. He loved her, it was a fact he had known since the Viidians abducted them. A hard-admitted fact that he couldn't deny nor help. For almost a full three years he chased her, hounded her, asked her out at least a hundred times, only to be turned down and driven away at every turn. Then, on that blessed day; the day they nearly died; she had she admitted she loved him, she completed every dream and desire he had held for the past years. And all he could say was some corny joke,

" You picked a great time to tell me." 

The words echoed in his mind as he let out another frustrated, quiet scream. The irony of it all *almost* made him laugh. He had always been able to handle women. However, he decided, he had never really loved any of them. B'Elanna was special, above and different from all the others. His true emotions always hid deep within, unable to be reached, sometimes even by him. Yet still one would imagine he would be the one who could use the words " I love you." without any problems, the one who would have no problem confirming his undying love for the woman he had spent so long chasing. He turned over to bury his head in his sheets, trying to block out his pain and guilt. Though the words " I love you" were simple to say, and he had no doubts that he loved her, he still couldn't make his mouth form the words. As he lay there, confused and longing for her, he made a promise to himself. He was going to show Lt. B'Elanna Torres just how much he truly did love her. 


"No Vorik, I don't want that scanned, I want the secondary system scanned." Lt. B'Elanna Torres repeated her instruction for a third time.

"That is highly illogical, Lt. Torres. I recommend we scan the primary core." Vorik stood resolutely grounded in his position by the main control panel, opposite of his superior. 

" To hell with logic Vorik, I want you to scan the secondary controls, Now!" She pointed to the console next to her, "That's a direct order." Vulcans could be so stubborn when they believed they were correct. She left her subordinate to his scans and made her way to her private control panel to upload the daily logs from around the ship. She, Vorik, and Nicholetti were the only officers on duty. The others were spread around the ship doing odd jobs. She watched as all the normal entries made there way onto the black console. The mess hall, security, then a single entry caught her eye. It wasn't marked in any special way, but its title was unusual. 

" For Lt. Torres, upload please." There was no name attached. Unsure of what it held, her curiosity became unbearable as she started to load the entry. The computer began to belt out a soft tune before words to a song began to play, 

I do, cherish you

For the rest of your life, you don't have to think twice

I will love you still

From the depths of my soul, it's beyond my control

I've waited so long to say this to you

If you're asking do I love you this much

I do

B'Elanna's cheeks began to turn a reddish tint, as the computer switched cords and tunes, 

She's all

She's all I ever need

It's the way she makes me feel

It's the only thing that's real

It's the way she understands

She's my lover; she's my friend

When I look into her eyes

It's the way I feel inside

It's the man I wanna be

She's all I ever need

The songs finally finished and a message popped up. 

" Lt. Torres, 

I'm sorry. I can't put it any more romantically, though I wish I could. But please meet me at holodeck 2, around 1700. Civilian clothes are fine.

All my love

Tom " 

Still with a reddish glow to her cheeks she peered over the ledge, half to see if Vorik was following her orders, half to see if her co-workers were listening. 

" Finished Vorik ??" She called casually over the edge. 

" Almost sir." If Vorik had heard anything he wasn't showing it and Nicholetti was no where to be seen. B'Elanna turned back to her work, a small smile tugging on the corners of her mouth. 


At 1701 B'Elanna Torres stood outside holodeck 2, unsure if she should enter or not. She finally mustered up her courage and shifted her loose, base sweater to rest on her shoulders. The doors parted and she marched in, her gaze trained on the carpet beneath her. She let out a startled gasp as the carpet disappeared and was replaced by empty space, literally. Below her, around her, above her, and beside her was nothing but an open field of stars. She realized that the holodeck allowed her to walk, but she could already feel the spacesickness arriving. She looked around to find Paris but she couldn't see him. Suddenly a environmental suit encompassed her. The similarly clad Tom Paris floated opposite of her,

" Hi 'Lanna. I'm glad you came. Do you recognize this?" He motioned towards the starry landscape. She nodded and lifted her arm.

" How could I forget, this was in the Day if Honor." She paused, swallowing the artificial spacesickness. "But why is my question. And what's with the suits." She looked disdainfully at the suit that she wore. Tom's beautiful eyes took on a sad, far away look. 

" B'Elanna, I've been an idiot, I know you've heard that a lot but listen. I made a mistake on this day, a big one. One that I regret and want to make right. One I've kept repeating over and over. People expect me to be good at expressing my feelings, especially with women." He smiled at her amused snort, " However, B'Elanna, I'm not. I should be, but B'Elanna, you mean more to me than life. More than anything I've ever thought possible. I know I don't tell you but I do mean it." He again indicated their surroundings, 

" I'm going to ask a favor of you B'Elanna. I want to repeat the Day of Honor, I want to "reenact" it." He looked at her hopefully, noticing she was still reacting to his little speech, shock and relief played on her face. She nodded and swallowed, hoping her voice would stay strong.

" Yes, I'll do that. Where do you want to begin?" She positioned herself in Tom's arms, as she was for most of their ordeal. Tom couldn't help but pause at her in his arms, it had only been a day since he had held her but it was too long in his world. 

" Um...when you woke me up." He closed his eyes expectantly,

" Ok here we go" B'Elanna shook him, 

" Come on, open your eyes." 

Tom's eyes opened a little, 

" I was having a dream. A really nice dream, we were home. There were lots of people cheering and pinning medals on us." He smiled,

" Don't be afraid B'Elanna, it's not going to be hard. It's going to be really..peaceful." 

She began to get caught up in her memories, 

" Tom, there's something I have to say..." Tom interrupted

" Me too...I'm glad the last thing I'll see.. is you..." They began to pull one another closer,

" No, something else..." 

" What?" His voice was soft.

" I've been a coward, about everything. Everything that really matters." After hearing herself say that again she was amazed how true her statement was,

"You're being a little hard on yourself." Tom gently reprimanded her,

" No! I'm going to die, without a shred of honor, and for the first time that bothers me. So I have to tell you something. I have to--"

The computer's voice broke in and Tom's eyes began to close,

" Tom." She whispered his name urgently. 

His eyes shot open, 

" I'm here, its ok. It shouldn't be long now." He slipped his arms farther around her little torso, 

" I have to tell you the truth, then maybe I can die with a little honor after all." She watched his eyes open a little wider with that comment, 

" The truth about what?" 

" Something I haven't said before, so I won't pile up anymore regrets." 

" Better tell me now," Tom's suit again informed them of the falling oxygen levels.

" Ok, " She looked into his heavy-lidded eyes, " It was all for you Tom." 

" For me?"

" Yes, for you. The Klingon rituals, the Day of Honor, I just wanted you to be proud of me." 

" You didn't have to do anything to make me proud, B'Elanna, I was proud of you already." 

" No," she paused for drama, " I....I love you Tom." Finally it was out. She waited for his response. When none came, 

" Say something..." She waited to hear his joke he had made, instead he surprised her...

" And I love you B'Elanna." 


The End!!!

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