Disclaimer- All characters belong to Paramount I’m just having some fun. Don’t sue. 

Outline- Goes into the past of B'Elanna Torres and deals with the comment she made on " Extreme Risk" about banana pancakes. Hence the name…. 

Set in the fifth season. 

Rating- Pg 

I‘ll give you the first time changes I think you can figure out the rest. This is my first attempt at writing anything so please bear with me. 

`*`*`*`*``*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`*`* 

Twenty years ago… 

The sight of the scowling Klingon woman was enough to send most people running for Kessik’s docking port. Alsya Torres, however, stood her ground unflinchingly. Her hair had long ago gone gray and she was quite shorter than the woman before her but that didn’t matter . She wasn’t at all afraid of her former daughter -in -law ,well, maybe just a little. Her kind gray eyes directed upward as the Klingon woman spoke. 

‘ Why have you come here?" growled the younger Klingon woman. She absolutely despised all member of the Torres family. They brought back memories the tough Klingon woman refused to admit to having. 

" To see my Blue Bell ." the old woman replied sweetly. She wouldn’t get rid of her so easily. She had come for a purpose. 

" You are not welcome here." K’Peara ground out in distaste . " None of your dishonorable family is welcome here" K’Peara was in the process of shutting the door when a young voice yelled out 

" Grandma?!" 

" Right here sweetie" Alsya Torres cried out looking at the Klingon woman for a reaction. There was none. That confused the older woman but her musing were cut short. 

A young half Klingon girl bounded out from behind her mother and jumped into her grandma’s arms. " I missed you Mama," she whispered softly, " a lot."….. 

*************************************************** 

Present…… 

‘ You screw up my engines Carey …" B’Elanna Torres began as she walked toward Engineering's double-doors. 

" You’ll rip out my heart and eat it raw , right?" Lt. Carey responded good-naturedly " Got it Chief." 

She shook her head, smiling, and left to get ready for her date with Tom Paris. She walked down the corridors nodding to passing crew. She slowed as she got toward the turbolift. As she entered she called for her deck and leaned against the walls. Her mind was racing toward what she would wear. He had been quite vague about the entire thing saying only it was lunch followed by an outdoor excursion. She could only guess what that entailed. The turbolift halted and she stepped out. She walked with a quick pace toward her quarters. She couldn't help being excited, as well as slightly nervous at his cryptic description. As she stepped through her doorway she noticed her old numerical calendar Tom had given her. She stopped ,feeling like she had forgotten something, and looked at the date. 

"March 21, why does that sound so familiar ?" she asked aloud. "Probably nothing ." She shook her head. " I have to much on an imagination" 

With that she went to her replicator to order her new clothes. 

************************************** 

The kitchen smelled wonderful to six year old B’Elanna . Banana pancakes always smelled better than gagh. Obviously, however, they didn’t smell so great to her mother as she left grumbling something about humans. B’Elanna didn’t care. The house was much more peaceful without her mother. 
 
 

"Done!" cried Alysa Torres triumphantly as she emerged with a stack of pancakes. 

" Finally," added a hungry B’Elanna sarcastically. She rolled her eyes and picked up her fork. It had been too long since she had had these. 

Alysa frowned good-naturedly at her sarcastic granddaughter while setting down the pancakes. 

" Your stove sure seems unused," she began, " Doesn’t your mother cook?" 

" No, she likes raw stuff," B’Elanna 's mouth was full. 

" What do you eat ?" Alysa asked slightly peeved K’Peara didn’t cook for her child. How did she feed a partially human child raw food? 

"I eat at Dougie’s" B’Elanna shrugged 

Alysa frowned again but without the good-nature . Oblivious to her grandmother’s unhappiness B’Elanna finished her pancakes and smiled , banana pancakes always made her smile. 

************************************************** 

B’Elanna Torres smiled at her reflection. It was a simple outfit , a cream-colored tank top and a pair of shorts , but she liked it all the same. She reached for her hairband and pulled her hair back. She fingered a light scar on her collarbone. It was light, barely noticeable. She couldn’t quite remember where she had gotten it. Sports ? No. A childhood fight? She didn’t think so. A fall? Yes that was it. But what fall? She thought for a minute then went back to fixing her hair, growing agitated at the stubborn loose strands. She turned and left toward the main room and felt her gaze drawn back to the old calendar. Something wouldn’t let her forget that date. 

*March 21 * she was determined to figure out why that was so important. 

*Think hard * she told herself. She heard this insane laughter that wouldn’t stop. It was a lunatic’s laugh. A fall, that laugh, March 21,they all connected. She grabbed blindly for the table as the memories came soaring back. March 21 was the day her grandma died. 

***************************************** 

It was a beautiful day , decided Alysa Torres, why not take Bell to the park? She loved spending this much time with Bell. K’Perara was no where to be seen. This bothered her. What if she hadn’t been here. Would B’Elanna be left alone this much? She decided to make the most of her time, however, and turned back to the little girl. 

" Hey Blue Bell want to go to the park ?" looking down into the unbelieving look in the child’s eyes. 

" Really mama you’ll take me?" the child asked incredulously. This was a treat. Mama never took her anywhere. She just left B'Elanna alone. 

" Of course , what’s wrong?" Alsya asked , confused. Bell had the look of a child who was just told about the tooth fairy. 

" Mother says I embarrass her too much for her to take me anywhere." B’Elanna whispered almost inaudibly, her voice filled with shame. She casted her eyes downward just in time to miss her Grandmother’s hate-filled frown. This broke the old woman’s heart as she looked at the small child. Damn the woman anyway ,she thought angrily. 

 "Bell don’t ever, ever say that again!" she tried to keep her voice quiet, she wasn’t mad at the child," Your mother is just upset about , well, a lot of things. She is completely wrong!" She sucked in her breath 

" So, get dressed we’re going out." As the young girl went to her coat Alysa shook her head. Why did everything have to be so hard for this child? She had committed no crime but to be born. She was determined to change B'Elanna's mind about herself and her heritage even if it took her a lifetime. 

 *************************************************** 

B’Elanna started to shake. This wasn’t like her, she could control herself. She took a deep breath yet she couldn’t seem to stop the memories. The horrible fear that had plagued her since childhood came back with the fury of a suppressed tornado. She tried to stand up and walk toward the bathroom. Everything was spinning. She started slipping into unconsciousness. She fought for control, cursing that her uniform was in the bathroom with her communicator. She barely had time to make sure her fall was clear before blackness overcame her. 

 **************************************************** 

  When the pair had reached the park it was abuzz with children and parents. B’Elanna shrunk back. She gripped the hand firmly and tugged it in a different direction. 

" Grandma , can we just go on a walk?" the child pleaded. She hated to be around the other kids. They were so cruel. All she wanted was to have fun with grandma, not cause her embarrassment, like mother. 

Alsya was upset by her granddaughter’s apparent fear of her peers but decided that that was for another day. She was having such a good time , no use in spoiling it now. 

" Sure Love where do you want to go?" she smiled down on the child. 

B’Elanna thought for a moment or two. She didn’t know if she really wanted to visit the place where some of her fondest memories had occurred. It was her's and daddy's. 

*But then again, she told herself , Daddy left you.* She steeled herself against the memory then replied, 

" There’s a pretty path Daddy use to take me to" she smiled upward at her grandmother. 

" Sounds like a lovely time." The pair made their way toward a wooded path at the far corner of the park. It was deeply covered with thick orange and red plants. Tall yellow leaves hung overhead from gigantic limbs. Everything on this planet seemed to match. From the reddish sky to the orange clay. A light breeze blew her hair around her face. 

*It was very pretty,* thought Alysa as they made there way inward. She was still on this thought as a transporter beam locked on to her and her young charge. 

******************************************* 

" Got’em sir." Anna Mulberry announced on the small bridge of a dingy ship. 

The dark man behind her liked it that way. She refused to think of him as her captain. Her mission was to convict him on a charge Starfleet had to prove before he could be thrown in jail. She had heard all about the dark, sinister looking man, he had once been a distinguished Starfleet commander. He had lived well, most said, until his perfect Starfleet son had married a Klingon geologist from Kessik four. For being a Starfleet officer he sure had a hate for Klingons. When his granddaughter, a half breed, had been born he had apparently went off the deep end threatening to disown the boy. In the end his wife had left him on account that she was convinced his was a lunatic and he had turned abusive. His son ended up disowning him. To top it all off he had been thrown from Starfleet on charges of drunkenness on duty , hate crimes, and mental decomposer. They couldn’t have a raving lunatic as a first officer. So when her Captain, Jack Crusher, had sent out a plea for someone willing to go undercover to convict the man she had been first to volunteer. She had had a father similar to this. Her mother had left him and he had turned to beer as a condolence. It took a lot to get him into therapy. She wanted to help the family that was suffering from this mans antics. She didn’t really know that this man was more them a drunk. He was an absolute, insane, lunatic. 

Benjamin Andrew Torres was nothing short of a lunatic. He knew this , and frankly he didn’t care. He pushed a lock of long black hair from his eyes. Its all that demon child’s fault , he thought bitterly, had she never been born this wouldn’t have happened. And Alsya his faithful wife, ha! What a joke. He lost every thing that day, his son , wife , career, and all for a hideous child. They would pay, he thought and began to laugh hysterically. 

 ************************************************** 

Tom Paris drummed his fingers anxiously. She was a full twenty minuets late. Neelix’s idea of lunch had long ago been served. He picked up his fork and worked the lumpy material around. Weren’t engineers prompt? This was so unlike her. He didn’t like waiting alone. 

" She’s probably working," he mumbled to himself. 

He’d wait a little longer, just a little. But in the meantime why not go see the Delaneys who were eating at the other end of the mess hall? 

******************************

Alsya woke up to a grinning face. She pulled back to get a better look. Her ex husband was towering over her. 

" Ben ," she whispered in terror, " Oh my gods BEN!" This had to be a nightmare. But they were the same brown eyes she had seen every morning in her adult life, the ones B’Elanna had inherited. They were now filled with a cold hatred instead of the love that used to be there. The hair was much longer, he obviously had lost all Starfleet protocol. He looked older than she remembered. It hadn’t been all that long. She couldn’t make out many more details, the lighting was awful. It was bitterly cold. His voice brought her back to reality. 

"Yep, remember me sweetie?" He chuckled bitterly," Your faithful husband, who you betrayed for a Klingon, huh, you remember me?" 

" Where’s B’Elanna?" Alsya asked trying to keep her voice from breaking. She had noticed in the course of his ranting that she was missing. He sighed dramatically. 

"Are you still so concerned about that little demon? " he ground out " would you leave me again over her?" 

" Where’s B’Elanna? " she repeated again, fearing the worst. She could only imagine what he’d do to her. 

" Oh, I give up, she’s fine." he laughed again. He was enjoying this too much. Something was amiss, Alysa knew her husband well. 

The door opened behind him admitting a young woman and a small child, B'Elanna. Alsya sighed with relief. She looked shaken but none the worse. Ben obviously found this amusing. 

" Speak of the devil…" he chuckled " and she shall appear." 

The little girl ran to Alsya and jumped into hers arms . 

" Where are we grandma?" she asked, her voice trembling. She was obviously afraid but too proud to really admit it. 

" I don’t know sweetie, " she whispered, barely keeping her voice from cracking, " but don’t fret I won’t let anything happen to you… I swear." And she hugged the girl fiercely and looked defiantly at the lunatic before her. 

 ********************************************** 

Tom Paris was now beyond impatient, he was downright worried. 

" Computer locate Lt. Torres." He called out impatiently. 

" Lt. Torres is in her quarters, deck…." The female voice recited 

Tom Paris tuned out the rest of the message and called B’Elanna personally. 

" Paris to Torres " he called 

No response. That was curious. She hadn’t had the night shift, had she? 

" ‘Lanna please respond" 

Nothing, not even a peep. Tom racked his mind to make sure she hadn’t had the night shift. He just couldn’t remember. 

* She must have, he told himself, why not go see if Harry wants to shoot pool.* 

 ************************************************ 

Alsya Torres rocked the sleeping child in her arms. B’Elanna and she had been left alone for hours. She had sat staring at the communications board on the other side of the room. It looked similar to the panels she had seen on the old starships Ben used to work on. If she could just get over there she was sure she could figure out how to send a distress signal. She was sure that there was a force field in the way, but hey, why not check it out. She set B’Elanna down , she started to stir and faintly sob. This strengthened Alsya’s drive for freedom, B’Elanna need to go home, she was too young for this kind of mistreatment. She reached the conjunction of the two open rooms they were being held in. She stuck her finger forward. To her surprise there wasn’t a forcefield . He’s more of a lunatic than I thought , she shook her head in dismay. How did this all happen ,she thought, what happened to my life? She crossed the room to the panel. As she began to press buttons an alarm resounded in the quarters of Benjamin Torres. He looked over at the monitor at his computer station. Only a matter of time before Alsya Torres would be completely out of his life, forever. 

Alsya Torres might not have been an engineer but she could tell something was wrong with the console in front of her. It wasn’t responding to her commands but seemed to be carrying out preprogrammed instructions. She remembered a certain incident that had taken place years ago where Ben had programmed a computer to explode killing a Klingon spy. She remembered how it had looked on the viewscreen as Ben jumped for joy. The console before her began to shake and sparks flew. If she remembered correctly it would blow in a matter of moments. She backed away and ran toward the adjoining room behind her. She looked at B’Elanna and then threw herself on her to protect her from whatever flames and debris. As soon as she was down the console blew to kingdom come. 
 
 

Benjamin Torres laughed hysterically as he was told an explosion had occurred in Cargo bay 2. He hadn’t felt so good in ages, now that woman he had called his wife for so long was dead. He knew he should probably feel some remorse, but that was a secondary thing. Now all he had to do was take care of that demon child. Revenge was all he had on his mind and it felt good. He took off running toward the room to gloat in his victory. 

When he entered the room he saw Alysa cowering in a corner hugging the child. He was beyond outraged. That console blew , she should be dead. 

" You should be dead " he stated firmly" that should have killed you." 

Alsya looked up with wide eyes she could tell he was ready to taste blood. She watched as he removed a phaser from his belt. 

" Ben put that down ," she pleaded quietly ," you don’t want to do this." 

She hoped the man that was her husband would hear her and understand. But wishes weren’t horses and it didn’t look like she’d be riding. 

" No, you don’t understand ," his voice began to rise to a hysteric level," seeing you dead has been the only thing on my mind in ages!" His pulse began to accelerate as he saw the small girl looking up with terror written all over her face. What little conscious he had left was agreeing with her, begging him to put the gun down. He almost stopped, almost put the gun down. But as he remembered the humiliation of being thrown from Starfleet, his son's refusal to acknowledge him, he knew he couldn't let her get away with it. She had ruined his life when she'd left, now he would end hers. 

" I tried to kill you the easy way but you had to live, " tears began streaming down his face," You leave me no choice, this is the only way I can ensure your death!" He leveled the phaser and fired. He watched as his wife slumped forward. It was all over, his goals had been reached. He began to laugh hysterically. A mixture of sorrow and joy. 

For B’Elanna the whole world stood still . She saw the gun fire, she felt her grandmother fall, dropping her. She hit on her right collarbone and was cut by the outcropping of a chair. But she comprehend nothing. As she lied unmoving on the floor she watched as a young woman, the one who had been kind and brought her to grandma, run in and sedate her grandfather. She pulled him into a corner and rushed to the older woman. She felt in vain for a pulse. She looked at the little girl hovering in a corner. And felt a twinge of sorrow. 

" I’m sorry sweetie , she’s dead." 

Those words resounded through B’Elanna’s head , taunting her. 

" I’m sorry sweetie, she’s dead" 

" I’m sorry sweetie , she’s dead." 

B’Elanna Torres could hear nothing . An icy cloud settled down on her as the small taunting voice filled her head repeating 

" It's your fault, It's your fault." and was accompanied by a hysteric laugh. 
 
 

A Federation ship arrived to transport B’Elanna back to Kessik and pick up Anna Mulberry with Benjamin Torres. Everyone was very kind as they treated her wounds and took care of her. One woman, the ships counselor, was overly kind. B'Elanna had many scheduled meetings with her. They could not understand nothing that they could do would help. B'Elanna didn't want to feel better, right then she couldn't feel anything at all. 

B'Elanna looked around a small room . It had many brightly colored paintings and lots of toys scattered around. A beaming woman spoke from one corner. 

"Hi , dear, I’m Mary Smith, ships counselor." A tall, blond woman smiled down on B’Elanna. " I am going to talk to you about what’s happened. " 

B’Elanna didn’t like being talked to like a three year old, but she couldn’t find it in herself to care. In response to the woman’s explanation as to why she was in this small room, she shrugged. They could blab at her all they wanted. 

" Ok, what do you feel like." The blond looked down at her seriously. 

B’Elanna almost,*almost,* laughed. Surely she had to be joking. Lets see what was she feeling ? Nothing, that’s what , nothing. She shrugged again. She could tell this counselor was getting discouraged. Her problem, she thought. 

" You seem to still be recovering, how about we meet later. That sound ok? " She tried to act optimistic. B'Elanna could see that she had all but given up. 

B’Elanna only shrugged. 

As much as B'Elanna hadn't liked going to the counselors and staying with the bright, smiley teacher who had taken her in for the ride home she really didn't want to go back to Kessik But B'Elanna went home without a fuss. She didn't even bother to ask the guard at the docking bay where her mother was. She knew her mother wouldn't care what had happened. And sure enough when she got home nobody was waiting for her. 

* And whose fault is that?* The taunting voice was back.* All yours.* B'Elanna went to her room and closed the door. 

 ****************************************************** 
 
 

Captain Kathryn Janeway sat on her bridge with positively nothing to do. It wasn’t even Tom’s shift , there would be no comic remarks. She sighed ,all she wanted was a little action. 

" Captain ," called Harry Kim from ops. His voice was shaking. " I’m picking up a signal…." He trailed off. 

" What kind of trail Mr. Kim?" she asked impatiently, she’d been waiting for this. 

" A..A Fed.. Federation signal" he stammered " highly damaged" 

" Federation?" she asked not wanting to get hopes too high, " are you sure?" This was what she called action. 

"Indeed Captain," commented Tuvok from tactical," bearing 348 mark 2" 

" Have you tried hailing?" 

" No response" 

"Life signs?" 

" One, I have a lock, beaming him aboard." reported Harry 

" Tuvok , Chakotay your with me." The Captain jumped from her seat and hurried toward the turbolift. 

When they reached the transporter room the Captain had to stop from recoiling. A haphazard man crouched on the pad. He looked up with a wild, mad look. She tried to keep her voice level as she identified herself. 

"I'm Captain Janeway of the Federation vessel, VOYAGER, and you are?" The dark man raised his head to look at her and spoke in a cryptic voice. One full of hate and desperation. 

" Benjamin Andrew…..Torres." 
 
 

TO BE CONTINUED 

Ok, I’m done with part one. PLEASE PLEASE write me and tell me what you think. This is my first ever story and I am soooooo nervous. My email is Dblegem22@hotmail.com Thanks a lot!