Title: Messages From The Grave
Pairing: P/K Series
Warnings: None, so far.
Disclaimer: Tom, Harry and any other characters mentioned belong to Paramount
Betaed by: Ren
Everyone onboard Voyager was in shock.
The young man, who may have once, being un-liked, and unpopular at the start of their journey, was, two years later, a well-respected and popular man aboard the ship.
Ever since the news had come in from the away team on the Red planet, informing the Captain, and the entire bridge that Tom had being killed on his away mission.
Everyone was silent for a few moments. The hum of the engines, and the sequences of the buttons causing the only noise.
Harry, who'd been building up the courage to ask Tom out, from the moment he returned from that terrible away mission on Ocompa.
Harry thought he had plenty of time. He'd had the opportunity many times, and, was ready to ask Tom out on a date. But, time and again, when he felt he was ready to ask Tom out, his confidence faltered, and courage crumbled.
The fact that Tom never seemed even slightly interested in men was also a big factor of Harry's lack of courage. He saw Tom constantly flirting with the Delaney sisters, or someone else he'd picked up on his way through engineering.
(Two days later)
Harry had ignored Janeway's suggestions to take time off, and continued to show up for work. Although he no longer did anything he used to. Simply staring at the view screen, or at the helm bringing memories back.
His time off was spent in Tom's quarters, so much time in fact that he decided to move in.
Harry moved in to Tom's quarters, bringing with him many of his possessions. The Captain knew about this, but did not object.
After informing the crew about Harry, many of them kept a close eye on him, the few rare time's he ventured outside of his new quarters.
Harry needed to be close to Tom. He still had yet to watch the message Tom had left him, not wanting to concede the fact that Tom was really dead. He had tried to watch it, but the pain was too great.
Dark circles had grown beneath Harry's eyes, caused by little or no sleep. His face was noticeably pale, and he'd become thinner.
Everyone was worried, B'Elanna and Janeway (who'd adopted Harry as their little brother, and son.) especially.
"Captain!" B'Elanna stormed into Janeway's ready-room on the fifth day, after discovering that Tom had died.
"B'Elanna?" The Captain asked, more concerned than angry at the intrusion. The Captain had been quiet lately. Spending almost no time on the bridge at all.
B'Elanna gave herself a few seconds to take a breath, before beginning.
"I am aware of this, every time that I try go near him, he closes in on himself. Shutting me out." The Captain replied, letting out her words as a sigh.
"WELL, YOU HAVE TO TRY HARDER!" B'Elanna shouted, her frustration growing, from both the Captain's obvious lack of concern, and the situation with Harry.
"I agree B'Elanna." The Captain said in a soothing tone. Attempting to coax B'Elanna to sit down, and cool off.
"Well what do you plant to do?" B'Elanna continued to argue with the Captain, knowing it was not her fault, but she had no one else to vent her frustrations at.
"I have asked if Chakotay will try to talk to him." Janeway replied, hoping that would ease some of her anger.
"Chakotay?" B'Elanna almost spat. She, herself trusted and loved Chakotay, but she knew that he and Tom hadn't been the best of friends, and where Tom went, Harry always followed, so therefore, Harry and Chakotay were not close either.
"B'Elanna," The Captain began, in a distant voice, as if she wasn't really in the room any more, but looking into something past. "Have you watched the recording Tom left you, yet?" She spoke more and more in a far-away voice.
B'Elanna felt her throat choke up in sadness at the mention of Tom. "No Captain, watching it would just"
"Make Tom's death real." The Captain finished for her. "I watched the one he left for me. Would you like to see it?" She was speaking as if, not fully with B'Elanna, but still In the recording that Tom had left.
B'Elanna worry was growing stronger for the Captain, just watching her. She was growing more distant by the second.
"Captain, I think Tom meant the message just for you."
She didn't acknowledge B'Elanna's response, but simply turned and begin to play Tom's final message to her once again. B'Elanna saw as the tears begin to flow down her Captains face, when Tom's image came on screen.
She left; wanting to give her the privacy she deserved, and made a mental note to inform Chakotay that the Captain may need some counselling.
(Tom's-turned Harry's Quarters)
Chakotay hit the door panel again, this being the third time. Still no answer, he decided to open it himself.
"Computer, open doors, authorisation Chakotay 5, Omega-Gamma 2-9." The doors opened, and Chakotay entered. The room was dark. "Computer 60% illumination."
The room was suddenly bright, and Chakotay easily found Harry. He was stood in front of his port-hole, looking out into Space.
"Uhh-hum." Chakotay tried to get Harry's attention, and announce his presence.
Harry just continued to stare out into space, not acknowledging anything.
"Mr Kim!" Chakotay raised his voice, something the well-built man didn't usually do. He needed Harry's attention, and he had a way to do it. It would be painful, and upsetting, but Harry needed to be broken out of the shell he had entered.
"Have you watched your message from Tom yet, Harry?"
That did something Chakotay thought to himself, as Harry's head, shot around and his eyes focussed on Chakotay, but he remained silent.
"You know Harry," Chakotay continued, continuing to talk informally. "I never expected a message from Tom. When Janeway gave one to me I was shocked. I cried when I watched it, and I felt better afterwards."
"Oh." Was all Harry said.
"You know Harry, I think you should watch what Tom wrote you. There are things in there he probably wanted you to know. You were his closest friend, Harry!"
Remaining silent, Chakotay gave in for the night. Deciding he'd try again the next day.
B'Elanna was fuming. She knew Harry was hurting, and that he had not yet watched his message, but the more Harry's health continued to deteriorate the angrier B'Elanna became.
She knew Chakotay had just left Harry. She'd checked with the computer.
So, after pacing a little more in the Turbolift, she decided she'd try to talk to Harry. Whilst watching the Captain in the ready room for those few minutes, B'Elanna had come up with an idea to help Harry.
Finally exiting the Turbolift, she stormed down the Corridor, directly to Harry's new quarters.
Not bothering to beep Harry, and wait for him to open the doors, she used the access codes that Tom had given her, to access his quarters.
"Harry," B'Elanna began, her voice was quieter than expected at seeing the desolate-looking young man staring into the abyss.
"Hmm" Harry barely acknowledged.
"Now listen Harry. I'm not Chakotay, I won't be calm and I'm not a counsellor. I won't attempt to talk, you know that's not me. The main root of these problems seem to be from Tom's message recording that he made for you." She saw Harry flinch at her words, so she knew she was close.
"I have this with me." She held a small chip in her hand.
The curiosity itched at Harry, so he turned his head once again to see what
B'Elanna was holding.
"It's the message Tom left me Harry. I haven't watched it. II couldn't. It would be like admitting he was gone." B'Elanna voiced Harry's thoughts from earlier. "But I want you to watch it with me, if you don't mind?" B'Elanna asked.
Despite her fiery temper at the moment, she was incredibly fragile over this situation. So once you got past the anger she let out, she was vulnerable, and weak.
Harry nodded in agreement, but worry was etched on his face. B'Elanna noted Harry's sudden nervousness. "Don't worry Harry. You don't have to show me the chip that Tom left for you."
"Now," B'Elanna began once again. "Are you ready?" A minute of silence passed, until Harry finally nodded.
B'Elanna started the playing of the chip, and sat beside where Harry had moved to.
'B'Elanna.' Tom's voice filled the silent room. Tears already in the half Klingons eyes at just seeing Tom's image and hearing him say her name.
He always said it with a flirting tone in his voice, always making her smile. Harry stared at the image, allowing tears fill his eyes but not fall.
'I hope you're doing well B'Elanna. I hope I died saving the ship, or for a worthy causeprobably not knowing me." Tom's devilish grin lit the screen before he continued.
'I want you to know that I love you B'Elanna' Harry was about to break down into sobs at hearing Tom's words, before he heard what Tom said next. 'You're the best friend anyone could ever hope for, and I know you'll make anyone who wants you the lukiest person in the Galaxy!"
B'Elanna blushed at Tom's words. He always complimented her, compliments she rarely believed. Though, she had to admit, since Tom had began complimenting her, a year before, she had began to take more care in her appearance, and have more self-esteem. She knew she had Tom to thank for that.
'I want you to know B'Elanna, Voyager made me happy, the one place I ever helped, without screwing up" Tom paused at this point. His bright, blue eyes, looking so lost. 'Harry!" Tom blurted out. 'I want you to take care of Harry for me B'Elanna. I know he'll take my death hard. I will never forget the way he accepted me as a friend. It meant more to me than breaking Warp 10! I love him so much" Tom's message stopped at this point. He had planned to delete this message to B'Elanna and change it. But then he had to go on an away mission, the one which he never came back.
B'Elanna didn't make any sign she was shocked. All the ship knew Harry loved Tom, and Tom loved Harry. But Harry was too shy to ask, and too afraid.
As if reading what B'Elanna was thinking, the message from Tom continued. 'I bet all of the ship knows how I feel about him. But, look at me B'Elanna. Really lookpast the physical. What does someone like myself have to offer Harry? He's smart, and creative, and imaginative. I'm a pilot, that's all I know, B'Elanna.' Tom almost sobbed. 'He deserves so much more than I could
have given him. That's why I always stayed around and flirted with the women. If I didn't have some, kind of distraction I would fall for Harry." Tom paused once again. 'Oh, who am I kissing. I did all B'Elanna, and fell hard! I know you'll make sure he gets everything he deserveswell' Tom continued to stumble as he neared the end of the message. 'I hate these things, talking to a machineI hope you have a long and happy life Lanna. Take care of Har for me. Goodbye.'
With that, the message ended.
The display screen was blank for over five minutes before B'Elanna pulled herself together enough to stand.
"Harry, we'lltalk later." Not waiting for an answer from the young man she knew so well, she turned and left, heading for her quarters.
She knew when she saw the message she would be incredibly upset, but nothing like the pain she was feeling right at that moment.
Harry continued to stare at the screen a while longer, until a strength he never knew he had made its appearance. He put the message in that Tom left him, and it began to play.
"Harry." Tom let out a breath on the recording. "What can I say to you Harry? You're the brother I never had. You're my centre Harry. Whenever I felt bad I came to you. Just being near you cheered me up. You're everything I wasn't. Kind, generous, compassionate, caring, loving and so fantastically beautiful, Harry!" Tom paused for a breath. Harry could tell through the tears, and the way Tom kept pausing on the recording, that he was about to say something big.
"II love you Harry. I know it's a bit late to tell you now, and that we won't be able to do anything about it, butoh Harry imagine how it could have been. Waking up in each other's arms, after sharing a night filled with passion and love. Kissing until we fell asleep. Learning everything about each other. Sharing everything, no secrets, only love."
Harry, paused the recording and did something that he hadn't done since before Tom had died. He fell to his knees, and cried. Sobs racked his body for over two hours before they slowly ebbed into a few sniffles. He was, both physically and mentally drained at this point, but he decided to finish the message first before falling into a deep, sleep.
"I want you to do something for me Har," Tom paused once again to wipe away a few tears that had fallen. "Live onmy love!" Tom finally finished.
Harry thought he didn't have any tears left to shed, but was proven wrong, as once again tears began to flow from his eyes.
A soft, but strong hand rubbed Harry's shoulder. A warm breath hit his neck, causing Harry to shiver. A sweet voice spoke softly in his ear, just loud enough for Harry to hear.
"Don't crymy love."
Harry paused completely at hearing that voice. It was 'His voice' the one he had longed to hear for so long.
Realising what it must be, what he had dreamt would happen so many times, Harry took a deep breath, and walked past the image that was only alive in Harry's head.
He fell to the ground and fainted in shock at what happened next. The image of what he once hoped, would some day be his lover, grabbed his arm, and spoke. "I hope you don't treat everyone you have a crush on this way, Har." Then, without waiting for Harry to say anything, as he seemed incapable at this point, Tom pulled Harry in for a sweet, needful kiss. One showing all the pain and anguish, and hurt both had felt.
(An hour later, Harry's bedroom)
Gently stroking Harry's cheek for the past hour, worried, but not wanting to go to Sickbay, yet, Tom waited. It seemed like an eternity when Harry finally began to awaken.
"Tom" Harry asked in a tired, skeptical voice.
"Yeah Har, it's me." Tom gave Harry the answer to his unfinished question.
"Butbut you were dead!" Harry stuttered getting upset.
"Shuush, Harry." Tom spoke softly.
"Oh god Tom!" Harry burst in to a fountain of tears, unable to stop.
Tom knew that Harry would be upset, but he didn't know what had caused this sudden outburst, and he needed to know.
"Harry, its ok, come on. Tell me what's wrong, please?!" Tom begged.
"II gave up on you Tom. I didn't keep trying to discover a way of how to find you. You were down there on that planet!" Harry paused a moment, finding it difficult to breathe through the torrential tears.
"Harry" Tom hugged Harry to his chest, gently rocking him back and fourth, squeezing him tightly.
"I'm sorry Tom. I will never forgive myself." Harry continued to cry, his warm eyes now red and puffed up.
"Harry, it was not your fault. You had every reason to give up and move on. I was apparently found dead on the planet. It was an exact replica of me, Harry!" Tom tried to reason. "Anyone would have accepted it. I was taken prisoner underground, where the sensors could not penetrate."
Harry's tears had turned into a mild sniffle. "Tom, it hurt so much. I never thought anything could feel that bad, but losing you was the worst thing I've ever experienced." Harry looked up into Tom's understanding, and loving eyes. Hoping to see understanding, and, he smiled slightly when he saw Tom had understood.
"So," Tom began, in a more cheerful, happy voice. "I guess you found out how I feel then Harry?" Tom's facial expressions had gone from happy, to curious, to slightly afraid and embarrassed.
"Yes Tom. I listened carefully." Harry's loving eyes, held a glint of humour. "So," His voice followed on the humour his eye's showed. "You"
"Love you." Tom finished, blushing deeply at the admittance.
Harry shot a sunny grin at Tom, feeling proud that Tom had said it for him.
"You're ok about this Harry?" Tom asked, nervous. "I mean, we can still be friends?"
"Tom, has anyone ever told you, you talk too much?"
Harry saw that Tom was about to respond with a smart comment, so, quickly lowering his lips on Tom's, he kissed Tom. Feeling the soft lips against his was too much, and he instantly became hard.
Tom was thrilled, even more so, when Tom's tongue pushed forward, attempting to gain access to his mouth. Tom's mouth readily opened, accepting the battling tongue.
Tom's hot tongue, met Harry's in a dual neither wanted to win. The passion grew until Harry moved back to breathe.
"Harry, does this mean"
"That I love you too?" Harry asked?
Harry wanted to tease Tom a little like Tom had done to him so many times. But he saw the anticipation and slight fear in Harry's ocean-eyes, and decided now was not the time for teasing, which would come later. He grinned to himself.
"Yes Tom, it does. I love you Tom Paris!"
Tom pulled Harry against him, muttering the words 'Oh, Harry' just before their lips met.
(Many hours later)
Both men were curled up on - Tom's once, Harry's -next, both men's now, bed.
Their naked legs entwined, arms slung over each other. Harry's fingers were making soft circles with Tom's chest hair, and now and again, moving to a nipple and squeezing slightly, causing a delicious groan from Tom.
"You know," Tom began. "I'm up for another round, if you are?" Tom raised his eyebrows up and down suggestively. Noting the finger that Harry was using to stroke his chest.
"I am up for it Tom. I just want to lay with you for a while. Holding you, smelling you, seeing you, hearing your voice."
Tom scoffed at Harry saying he wanted to smell him, but his face went apologetic, after seeing Harry's hurt expression.
"I love you Harry" Tom leaned over and kissed Harry's forehead. "Oh, and Harry?"
"Yeah Tom?" Harry asked, now perfectly content with their new, and hopefully permanent situation.
"Unless you want to go another round this second, I suggest you stop that." Tom looked down to where Harry was now lightly stroking Tom's semi-hard, and already hardening cock.
Harry blushed, which Tom couldn't believe after what they'd done this night. Harry had taken complete control, which had being a surprise for Tom. He usually had to be in control, calling the shots, but it had being an exciting thrill, watching his best friend, turned lover, do everything and anything he wanted to him.
"Harry?" Tom began to ask a question once more, but was stopped by Harry's lips on his.
"Tom, I feel up for another round now!" Harry stated.
Tom grinned, and pounced on Harry. Pinning Harry's hands above Harry's head with one hand, he used the other to stroke his way down Harry's smooth, golden torso.
"Anything you want my love, but this time, I'm in charge." Harry's grin raised to match Tom's, as they embarked on another five hours of lovemaking.